Station 19 (2018) s04e07 Episode Script
Learning to Fly
1
[ALABAMA SHAKES' "THIS FEELING" PLAYS]
I just kept hoping ♪
I just kept hoping ♪
The way would become clear ♪
♪
I spent all this time ♪
Tryna play nice ♪
And fight my way here ♪
♪
See, I've been having me
a real hard time ♪
But it feels so nice ♪
To know I'm gonna be ♪
- All right ♪
- [EXHALING]
♪
- So, I just kept dreamin' ♪
- [FOOTSTEPS APPROACH]
Tough shift?
Yeah, I just kept dreamin' ♪
[CHUCKLES]
- It wasn't very hard ♪
- Hasn't even started yet.
- Oof.
- [CHUCKLES]
Yeah, you know it's bad when
you're already hating the world
and you haven't even gone in yet.
I spent all this time ♪
I, uh
Tryna figure out why ♪
I saw the video.
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
It's messed up.
[SIGHS]
So, I'm usually
the person that finds
the good in all the bad.
I I'm the silver linings
chick who cracks a joke
even at the darkest of times
to bring everyone else back up, but
Pretty hard to see
the silver lining in that.
Yeah.
You know, I'm pretty good at
silver linings myself.
Yeah?
Alright, show me what you got.
Okay.
Let's go.
- [LAUGHS]
- Hm?
I feel like I shouldn't
even tell you this.
Oh, my God, now you have to tell me!
Okay, um
I've been jogging up and down
this trail all morning
on the off-chance that I might see you.
♪
Uh
I just kept goin' ♪
[BOTH LAUGH]
No, it's not No, it's not it
- Not so much a silver lining
- Yeah.
as it is an adorable confession.
[LAUGHS] Okay.
- But [LAUGHS]
- Okay.
- But it made you smile.
- Yeah.
[CHUCKLES]
- I spent all this time ♪
- I haven't slept for 48 hours.
Tryin' to find my way here ♪
But I went for a run because
the first time you
asked me out, I, um
I was too scared to say yes.
Please don't take this feeling ♪
So, I guess
S-So you decided to stalk me instead?
- Yeah, I guess so.
- Like Okay. Got it.
- It worked!
- Yeah, I guess it did.
[LAUGHING] Right?
I have found at last ♪
Please don't take my feeling ♪
I have found at last ♪
- ANDY: Okay.
- Ooh.
It's not Carina's French toast, but
Mmm!
it's the only thing I know
how to make for breakfast.
That looks amazing.
Mm.
I [LAUGHS]
[GASPS] Oh!
Um, Maya asked me to step in
for her for the week.
Step in?
As acting captain.
Doesn't the department
usually send a sub
for bereavement leave?
Well, due to COVID and pods and stuff,
they said one of
the lieutenants could do it.
And so she asked me.
And you've gone all quiet.
No, no. No.
No.
It's good.
- I'm happy for you.
- Yeah?
Yes. You were made for this.
Plus, couldn't hurt to be
sleeping with the boss, right?
No, no special treatment. Mnh-mnh.
Just like when I was your captain.
Well, maybe a little special treatment.
- Oh!
- [BOTH LAUGH]
MARSHA: Oh, you're the best.
Thanks, kids.
We're so happy that
you're feeling better.
Ooh, so tell me something juicy.
I want some gossip.
Uh, there's not, uh
Not really anything to report.
Mnh-mnh.
Well, w-what about you two?
When is that gonna happen, huh?
[CHUCKLES]
- Oh!
- What?
Don't you want to make
a dying woman happy?
No, you're not
You're not dying, okay?
Not yet.
Some good news might help my odds.
[LAUGHS]
You have a very gentle touch.
Oh. [CHUCKLES]
Well, we finally got
the smaller swabs, so
Hm. You know, it's not the size,
it's how you use it.
Okay, guys, this is
bordering on inappropriate.
You saw The Running Guy, didn't you?
- I don't know.
- Okay.
So, Emmett, here's the thing.
Vic has a new crush,
and it's a firefighter
at another station.
- Uh-huh.
- And she won't tell me who it is.
I am keeping this one close to the vest.
Chest? What's the saying?
I think it's playing it close to the
Doesn't matter. Who's the guy?
No! No, there's nothing even to tell.
The only thing we've done is
make eyes at each other
over our masks and
some light finger brushing.
I'm sorry, finger brushing?
Yeah!
How very "Pride and Prejudice" of you.
Yes! Yes. See? Thank you! Thank you.
It's, uh It's Victorian.
- Uh, Georgian.
- Whatever!
- It's annoying, is what it is.
- I like it.
No, it's
- You don't even know.
- Oh, after you, Captain.
- By all means.
- [SIGHS]
Come on, Gibson. [CHUCKLES]
I'm not the captain.
She just asked me to be
in charge while she's gone.
- JACK: Yeah, no, okay.
- What?
I-I just think it's
interesting, that's all.
That, you know, we're both lieutenants,
yet she decided to put you in charge
- while on bereavement leave.
- Oh.
- I just think it's interesting.
- You think Uh, well,
you want me to explain it to you?
- Okay.
- See, Bishop likes me
more than she likes you.
Oh. Ohh! Yeah, uh
Y-Yeah, no, you know what?
That's actually helpful.
So thank you.
And, uh, just to remind you.
The whole reason Bishop's out is 'cause
her girlfriend's brother got murdered.
So maybe let's not make
this a competition.
And now I feel like an ass.
[SIGHS]
ANDY: Hey.
Huh! Warren, hey, uh
I didn't think you'd be here today.
- Oh.
- I called in a sub.
I-I need to be here.
I-I need to help people.
I-I get that. I'm the same way.
But are you sure you shouldn't
- Please don't say it.
- be at home?
Look, my my kids didn't know DeLuca.
And they just lost their grandmother.
They don't need all my extra
grief up in their space.
Yeah, I-I was just gonna ask Bishop
if I could be on desk duty.
Bishop's on bereavement with Carina.
Right, right.
S-So you're Acting captain.
[SIGHING] Alright,
you're on desk duty.
Go ahead.
Hey, head into the barn for testing.
♪
♪
Hey.
I know this looks crazy.
Not any crazier than finding you
lying in the hallway at 3:00 a.m.
I can't get comfortable anywhere.
You want to give the bed
or the couch another shot?
Too soft.
Hm?
When something is too soft
and nice and comfortable
right now, it makes me want to cry,
and I can't cry anymore
because it's exhausting
and it gives me a headache,
and I'm already so tired,
but I can't fall asleep,
and sleeping is the only thing
that will turn off the crazy guilt
screaming in my brain.
So I'm in the shower
to try to fall asleep.
Carina none of this is your fault.
Hm.
You want to scream?
Would that make you feel better?
Okay.
Then scream.
♪
Your brother died, Carina.
You're allowed to wake up the neighbors.
He didn't die.
He was murdered.
Scream.
[GROANS]
[SIGHS HEAVILY]
[WEAKLY] Ahh.
[SOBBING]
Andrea.
[SIGHS]
♪
[CRYING] T-Too soft.
Too soft, too soft.
Okay, I'm sorry. Sorry.
♪
[SIGHS SHAKILY]
♪
Well, how about you?
Uh, are you, uh, dating?
Well, I mean, I tried to.
I had a few online drinks
with a few guys.
And then the whole
"Let me be your daddy" thing
happened and Yeah.
Yeah, that would make me
never want to have sex again.
- [CHUCKLES]
- Yeah.
You know, um, Alicia found a picture of
some guy's junk on my phone
before I came out to her.
Oh, wow.
It wasn't yours, so we're good.
[CHUCKLES] Uh, I-I told her that
it was probably just
one of the guys from school
playing a dumb prank.
Like, you know, "locker room" crap.
I thought I was done for.
I packed my bags,
ready for her to kick me out.
She believed it.
Wow.
I find that, um,
people are actually really good
at lying to themselves when
it's for self-preservation.
[BUZZER]
Hey, is that
My dad.
Are you gonna
Why is my dad here?
Maybe he's here to come out.
[KNOCKING ON GLASS]
Travis!
You gonna let me in?
Put your mask on, Dad.
- Oh, mask for masc?
- Please stop.
♪
[BUZZER]
Oh.
From your mother.
[DOOR CLOSES]
Why are you here, Dad?
I'm gonna I'm just gonna
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Good to see you.
[MOUTHING WORDS]
You've never even seen
where I work, Dad.
- [DOOR CLOSES]
- Spare the dramatics, Travis.
I just brought cookies.
Right. Travis. Dramatics.
Travis the drama queen.
Hey, you know, um,
could you come over and help
your mother and I install
security on our computer?
Craziest thing happened.
My Facebook page seems
to have gotten hacked.
Someone stole my picture.
Did they?
Yeah, who knows where that's
gonna wind up.
Yeah. [CHUCKLES] Huh.
So this is how we're
gonna talk about it?
You're gonna make up a lie
about why I saw a shirtless pic
of you on a gay dating app?
I don't know what you think you saw
[KLAXONS SOUND]
DISPATCH: Ladder 19,
Aid Car 19 requested to
- 2018 East Olive Avenue.
- Here, Dad.
Maybe those cookies will help
wash down all that shame.
[KLAXONS CONTINUE]
Montgomery, was that, uh, your dad?
- He seems kinda
- Gay?
Whoa, Probie, Probie.
Probie sits in the probie seat.
Come on, Gibson.
Probie sits in the probie seat, man.
I'm sorry, but
How it's done.
♪
[SIGHS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
[SIREN WAILING]
[HORN HONKING]
I have to go to Italy.
- What?
- I have to tell my dad,
and I think the best way
to do it is in person.
Carina, take a breath.
Let's talk this through.
Because I don't know how
he's gonna react to the news,
and I just need to be there in
case he goes crazy or something.
Okay, there are no flights
to Italy right now.
The border is closed there and here.
And even if you could get there,
we're in a pandemic, remember?
[SIGHS] I
Okay, yeah, I have Ah!
Okay, I feel like there's
so much that I have to do,
and I don't even know how!
Okay, what do What do you want?
What do you need? What can I do?
I-I-I have to organize
the funeral, I have to
I have to contact his landlord,
I have to call the bank to sort out
all the details and paperwork.
I have I have to tell my dad.
But what I want to do right now
is scream.
I want to scream until my throat hurts
more than my head
and my stomach and my chest.
I just want to scream so that
some of this pressure goes away.
So scream. Do it. Let it out.
I can't.
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
I c I can't. I can't.
I can't.
♪
[SIREN WAILING]
"The pressure which is normally found on
a water distribution system is known"
Residual pressure.
Can Can we just not do this now?
You asked me to help you study
for the lieutenant's exam.
I-I did. But that was before
Chief Gregory called me.
He says, although he does condone
what Sullivan and I did
for Jada and Shanice,
and the charges were
technically dropped,
brass is concerned with
my decision to fight for change.
[SIGHS] You mean your decision
to sue the police department.
- Mm-hmm.
- Well, yeah. I can see why.
Gregory thinks I have to choose between
getting justice for Joyce,
and applying for a promotion.
And he won't vouch for you?
No. And if he did, would they listen?
[MUFFLED DANCE MUSIC THUMPING]
♪
♪
What is this place?
I'm gonna guess, uh, dance academy?
No. No, I grew up with
dance academy kids.
This is
BROTHER JOHN: Fear is what tethers us
to this Earth.
I do not subscribe to fear!
If I believe I can fly, I can fly!
[CHEERING]
Yep.
This is a cult.
♪
[DANCE MUSIC THUMPING]
Sir, you're not a bird. You're a guy.
[SIGHS]
Alright. Just get out the bag.
Shouldn't we wait for PD?
Are
Copy that.
BROTHER JOHN: Our society is designed
to raise us on fear and shame,
on the suppression of our humanity,
on our connectedness.
But when we come together
and unlearn all that poison,
anything is possible.
I can feel that.
The vibration.
Do you feel that?!
Can you feel that vibration?!
Oh, it's Marky Mark day
at the dance cult. Fun.
My children, we have
unlearned the weight
of shame and fear.
Do you feel how powerful we are now?
Our collective vibration
is what will give me wings.
I-I don't care how much energy
these people are giving you.
If you jump off that roof,
there's a good chance you won't survive.
You don't understand
what Brother John's doing here.
You don't understand how
trapped you are in your own mind.
Our minds are free!
Free or on drugs?
- We don't do drugs.
- Mm.
We're high on the freedom of thought.
We're high on the magic of humanity
that was beaten out of us as children.
- Right.
- We're high on breath
Okay, let me tell you something.
If you don't put your mask back on,
you're gonna be high on COVID.
Can you believe these idiots?
Dr. Warren Sterman.
I live down the road a bit.
I'm the one who called.
Oh, you called. So, is anyone hurt?
Not yet. But look at 'em.
Okay. Alright. [SIGHS]
We need to get someone up there.
Oh, pick me. Please.
Winner winner, chicken dinner.
Ugh, these people are not
living in reality.
You can't talk sense to them.
They just believe whatever
their whack-job guru tells them.
BROTHER JOHN: Join us!
All are welcome.
Let your fears melt away.
Feed on our vibrations.
Well, I would,
but I had a big breakfast.
[LAUGHS]
Do you mind telling me
what you're doing up there?
I'm demonstrating faith.
Faith in my people.
Faith in my family.
Faith that all the work we do here
- has driven us to this day.
- Dispatch, this is Ladder 19
Incident Commander. Where is PD?
No, sir. No. Bleach is not
an effective remedy.
It Uh
- Okay then.
- Hey, excuse me!
Excuse me! Can you help?
Uh, w-what happened, sir?
[GRUNTS]
It's pretty bad.
Okay.
Uh, looks like it got you good.
Uh, how'd you do it?
I was so stupid.
I-I've cut fabric thousands of times.
But today I was distracted,
and then the phone rang,
and the fabric cutter just
went right over my finger.
- Well, have a seat.
- Yeah.
[WHIMPERS]
Okay.
Can I take a look at that?
- Yeah.
- [DOOR CLOSES]
Let's see here.
Aah! [GRUNTS]
Okay, well, you don't have nerve damage.
But you're gonna need a hand surgeon.
Are you sure?
Are you sure you can't just fix it here?
I'm a surgeon, but I'm not the one
- that you want to be seeing about this.
- Really?
You're You're a surgeon?
Well, how lucky am I?
I'm a general surgeon.
But I don't specialize in
No, well, I-I make
my living playing piano,
and I really need this finger.
Well, then, you really need
to get to a hospital.
Now hold pressure while I call ahead.
N-No, uh, I'm severely
immunocompromised.
I
I live with HIV.
Please, there has to be another option
than going to the hospital.
I thought I read
that that Seattle Fire
has some kind of
mobile surgery unit or
Yeah, it's, uh
It's no longer in commission.
My friend lost his partner.
They went to the hospital
for chest pains,
and three days later,
he was on a ventilator.
And three days after that, he was gone.
So, no, I can't. I can't go there.
I-I'll just I'll just put ice on it
and, um, hope that it heals.
Uh, thank you.
I I'm sorry to bother you.
Well, no, wait. Wait, wait.
Um
I I can help you.
Okay, just, uh
Just promise you won't tell anyone.
Oh. Oh!
Pinky swear.
♪
Did you sleep?
No, but I tried.
In the shower. Like a lunatic.
Well, I got everything sorted out
with the funeral home.
You called them?
I called everyone.
I did the whole list.
I did all the things.
Thank you.
[REFRIGERATOR DOOR OPENS]
No one has ever done that for me.
[CLATTER, REFRIGERATOR DOOR CLOSES]
Any chance you could
call my dad for me too?
[INHALES SHARPLY]
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
I wish I could.
- Mm-hmm.
- That's one you got to do on your own.
I know.
I'm so scared to tell him.
I know.
[SNIFFLES]
I'm gonna try again.
To sleep?
To scream.
[CARINA BREATHES SHAKILY]
[SIREN WAILING, DANCE MUSIC THUMPING]
SULLIVAN: Man, this thing is heavy.
TRAVIS: Been a while since
you moved a bag, huh?
[VIC CHUCKLES]
Here we go.
VIC: Don't worry.
They can't touch us in uniform.
Yeah, that's what pisses me off.
SULLIVAN: Miller, we need them.
We have to work with them.
♪
[PANTING]
♪
[GOGGLES CLATTER]
Damn it!
♪
Hey, man. I'm Jack.
Brother Jack!
Welcome!
Dance with me.
Uh, yeah, you do not want
to see me dance, trust me.
Ah-ha-ha!
Shame!
Where does that shame come from?
Hey, brother,
if that shame is too heavy,
just sit down.
Absorb this energy.
How about you come
sit over here with me?
Away from the ledge.
BUCKNER: Sir, you need to
come down right now!
- [CROWD JEERING]
- Or what?
You'll shoot me?
Aw, man!
The systems our world has put into place
to instill fear and control.
And we eat it up!
We do, man.
We've been fed that since childhood.
- Right.
- Right?
- Yeah.
- Fear for breakfast.
Fear for lunch. Fear for dinner.
Like sugary cereal.
Frosted Fear-i-o's!
[CHEERS AND LAUGHTER]
- Brother Jack.
- JACK: Yeah?
- You're not dancing.
- Trust me, you really don't
Come on, shake off some of that shame.
- I don't dance.
- Come on!
I d Okay, okay! Okay.
I'm dancing. Okay?
Louder.
How do you dance louder?
Ask that little boy version of yourself.
"How do I dance louder?!"
I don't know what you're
talking about, man.
I don't know how to dance Okay! Okay!
Okay. Okay.
I'm dancing louder. Okay?
I'm dancing louder. See? See?
Dancing louder.
Yeah! Louder! Ha!
I feel a connection to you,
Brother Jack.
- Good. Feel it over here.
- A soul connection, man.
- I feel you.
- [MEMBERS GRUNTING RHYTHMICALLY]
I've been you.
Alone.
- Um, okay.
- Afraid.
You're lost.
- Hey.
- Yeah?
When was the last time you felt loved?
Actually, wait. Better question.
When was the last time
you felt safe to love?
I
- Ah!
- Okay, alright.
Okay, alright.
TRAVIS: This might be
the best day of my life.
Yeah, I'm gonna need him
to remember this.
What the hell is wrong
with these people?
[MAN SPEAKING GIBBERISH]
Is that guy hyperventilating?
Maybe it's on purpose.
I mean, they seem happy.
Calamana-skrinatchka-dancala!
[THUD] Him less so.
I'm tired, man. Can we sit?
You still haven't answered
my question, Brother Jack.
What was the question?
I ask because I see your pain.
It's so much better on the other side.
- You can be on that other side, too.
- No, no, there's no
There's no pain. There's no pain, okay?
Look, as long as we stay on
this side of the edge,
I'm good.
Why stay on the roof
when you can dance in the stars?
We must continue harvesting.
Okay, what are we harvesting, exactly?
Energy.
We got to get back
to that spiritual self.
When we all do,
we could fill the air
with such high vibration
that when I jump, I will fly.
- Please don't jump, man.
- Dude!
Come on, John.
This guy's still planning to fly,
so, uh, get that bag ready.
Sir, why don't you just take a breather.
- Oh!
- That was a pretty hard fall
you took back there.
- [WHIMPERS]
- And it looks like
you dislocated your shoulder,
for starters.
- That's got to hurt.
- Pain is only in the flesh.
Yep. Well, that's what
I meant by "hurt."
Oh, must keep vibrating!
Okay, you can keep vibrating.
Just let us help you
while you do it, okay?
♪
Oh, my God.
No. Oh, God.
- Did he just lick me?
- Yeah. Don't move.
Don't move. Don't blink.
- Don't breathe! Just stop.
- [SIREN WAILS]
- Aah!
- [CAR DOORS CLOSING]
Wait.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
- What?
- Just, uh
Just Just give me the pack.
Heads up!
♪
JERRY: This damn virus.
Reminds me of the '80s.
You, uh You lived through
the AIDS crisis?
[CHUCKLES]
I went to college at
the Manhattan School of Music.
My first time away from home,
first time in a big city.
It was such freedom. [CHUCKLES]
I felt I could float.
But then
the plague came.
"Gay-Related Immune Deficiency,"
they called it.
GRID. Everyone panicked.
The queer community was isolated.
I lost friend after friend after friend.
And I'd worked so hard to live out loud,
and suddenly, I was back in the fear.
And the shame.
Afraid to get close to anyone.
Afraid to even live my life.
Kinda like now.
No one knows how it's spread,
and there's so much misinformation,
and the politicians refusing to even
acknowledge that it's real.
Suddenly, I'm 22 again.
And scared to death.
[CLEARS THROAT]
GIDEON: Calamana!
- VIC: Dude.
- Skrinatchka!
Hey, dude. Come on. Let's just
- Dancala!
- Dude. Dude! You could
Come on, we're just trying
to give you some
medical attention, okay?
No! Sir
Sir, please get your hands off me.
Sir, back away now.
Okay, come on.
WICKLUND: Hey, Miller.
VIC: Feel better? Come on.
Hey, listen, I just want
to say I'm sorry.
Okay? What Schneider did that day
But you didn't stop it.
You saw what he was doing,
you stood there,
and you let it happen.
It all happened so fast. I'm sorry.
I-I reported him later.
Look, I'm not even talking
about what they did to me.
It's those girls.
If we hadn't gone in that building,
those girls would be gone.
You do understand that, right?
I do.
He's suspended, okay?
Pending investigation.
Well, congratulations, man.
You picked the bad apple
out of the barrel.
♪
[SIGHS]
You showered.
Mm. I was already there,
and I couldn't sleep, so, um
I didn't want to call you when
I was in the car with Andrea
because I knew you would
talk me out of it.
And tell me to make my brother stop.
Tell me that it was dangerous.
And you did.
And you were right.
And I still think
I feel like this is
Why? Why didn't I stop him?
This is This is all my fault.
This is I My brother is dead
because I'm an idiot.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Listen to me.
None of this is your fault.
Whose fault is it, then?
Who am I supposed to blame?
- Who?
- Blame me!
We have to get some of this off of you.
I will take it. Blame me.
I should have gotten to you sooner.
I should have been there. Blame me.
Maya, this is not your fault.
Then why is it yours?
Because I let him on that train!
I did that.
- I I
- Hey.
Give me the guilt, okay?
Give me the the blame.
Give me the part that stings the most.
Okay, let me hold on to it
for a a little while.
And when you're feeling
a little stronger,
you can have it all back.
- [INHALES DEEPLY]
- I promise.
♪
Too soft. I'm sorry.
- Mm.
- [SNIFFLES]
♪
BROTHER JOHN: A man
can't dance on his rooftop
- on a beautiful day?
- Okay, we're shutting the music down.
What do you want to do?
[SIGHS] I want to let
my lieutenant try a little longer
to get him down.
DR. STERMAN: Watch out for
this guy. He may look nuts,
but he's a charmer and he's dangerous.
Oh. Gibson will be okay.
He's pretty charming himself.
[MICROPHONE FEEDBACK,
STATIC CRACKLING]
John, please, just take a step back.
The energy is full. It's almost time.
John, please. You're gonna get hurt.
Is that a good reason
not to do something?
So that you don't get hurt?
You run away from danger.
John, I'm a firefighter.
My job is literally to run into danger.
But real danger you run from.
[MICROPHONE FEEDBACK]
♪
Everyone here has learned
the same lessons as you, Jack.
All my children came to me
so bruised and alone
from a lifetime of pain.
Brother Jack,
you have the look in your eye
that so many of my followers do.
You crave family.
You crave stewardship.
Love.
I'm good, man. I have love.
You're an orphan.
- Well, guess what?
- [MEMBERS GASP]
I'm an orphan, too.
That's why I built this family.
You don't like being alone,
do you, Jack?
Scary, isn't it?
♪
But look at my children.
See how full they are.
John, please, just take one step back.
Please.
Just one.
I'll take a step if you talk to me.
Okay, okay.
Tell me about your heart.
Are you lonely?
Yeah, some sometimes. Yeah.
I'm gonna need more than that.
Okay, okay, okay!
I-I just, uh I just moved in
with this this woman and her son,
and she's great, but
But you're scared?
Scared to open up? Scared to feel?
Scared to lose?
What are their names?
Inara and Marcus.
♪
And you can't fully love
Inara and Marcus, can you?
No, I I can, I just
We all have emotional injuries
from our lives that
prevent us from loving.
If you cut the fear from your heart,
you can love them.
I want to show you what love looks like.
I want you to know what
fearlessness feels like.
♪
No, don't!
Higher, your love has set me free ♪
Now nothing's out of reach ♪
Higher, higher ♪
Ooh ♪
I run the days into the night ♪
I feel my heart is going rogue here ♪
But I kinda love it ♪
Yeah, I will go ♪
[ALL GASP]
[CROWD MURMURING]
[CHEERING] Higher ♪
Your love has set me free ♪
Now nothing's out of reach ♪
Higher, higher ♪
Higher ♪
I'm stronger now, I'm free ♪
I'm who I wanna be ♪
Higher, higher ♪
This ain't no give or take, no ♪
I've learned from my mistakes, ohh ♪
I'm so much stronger now ♪
I'm so much stronger now ♪
This ain't no give or take ♪
I've learned from my mistakes ♪
I'm so much stronger now, ohh ♪
What do you want?
I'm sorry, Miller, but I got to
ask him a few questions.
He's got warrants for
Montgomery, switch with me.
Yeah.
He'll take care of you.
Sir, there's been reports
of suspicious activity coming
Can you meet us at Grey-Sloan?
Talk to him after we've
got him assessed.
We got to go.
- Sure. Yeah.
- Okay.
Hey.
Can I, uh, ride with him?
Join me, Brother Jack.
You two bond up there?
We got a lot in common.
[SIREN WAILING]
Grey-Sloan, this is Aid Car 19.
We're headed towards you with
a 50-year-old male
with abdominal pain,
possible internal bleeding.
Aren't we all bleeding
internally, in many ways?
[CHUCKLES]
You shouldn't talk.
[LAUGHS]
[COUGHS]
Were you trying to die?
I was trying to fly.
But you must have known
that you were gonna fall.
But I didn't fall.
I leapt.
And for that moment of pure freedom,
it was worth it.
♪
SULLIVAN: [GROANS]
You okay?
Ugh, my back.
Does probie need a little IcyHot?
[CHUCKLES] Alright.
Talk to me when you've had as
many hot saves as me.
- Ooh.
- [CHUCKLES]
We have to work with them, Miller.
Every day.
Uh, yeah. Yeah, I know that.
Well, then you need to fix your face.
Have you ever thought that
the reason why things
haven't changed for us
is because we're so quick
to fix our faces?
Well, it is what it is.
They need us, we need them.
Look, if you can't work
with them, just
I can work with them just fine.
I just don't think I have
to fix my face to do it.
Nobody asks Batman to fix his face.
I'm sorry. Are you Batman?
Yeah. I am, in this uniform. We all are.
We're heroes.
And heroes don't have to
fix their faces.
JERRY: You're, uh You're
worried about the rule-breaking.
No, I'm I'm good.
But even better, you're good.
You should have full function of
that finger in about a month.
You're not good.
I know the look.
You've lost people from the virus?
Of course you have.
You're a doctor, a first responder.
So's my wife.
Oh, but she didn't
N-No, no. Thank God.
But, uh her mother.
I'm sorry.
And a few days ago, a friend of mine.
He was a doctor, too.
But not from the virus.
He was, uh He was murdered.
Wait, not Not that handsome young man
who was chasing that sex predator?
Oh! I saw that on the news.
I said a prayer.
You hate to lose anyone, of course,
but someone that attractive?
[CHUCKLES]
Oh, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't joke.
It's just how I've learned to cope.
And I've had to cope a lot.
With this pandemic
and the one back then.
You see, you feel like you're
drowning in your own grief.
You barely get a chance
to catch your breath,
and then you're pulled back down.
Thrashing, not knowing which way is up.
You forget how to breathe.
Or even that you should.
But there's that one thing,
that life preserver
that will keep you afloat
for just a few minutes
so you can save your energy.
And you hang on to that life preserver
and let it keep you alive
un-until you're
no longer at sea.
I'd imagine yours is medicine.
Helping old fools like me. [CHUCKLES]
Mine is music.
So thank you for patching
my life preserver.
♪
[DOOR OPENS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
[LINE RINGING]
Papa. Ciao.
[SPEAKING ITALIAN]
[SIGHS]
Okay.
Okay. Okay.
Si. Ciao.
He heard.
What?
He heard that Andrea died two days ago.
And he didn't call me.
♪
What are we doing?
Okay, Maya, I'm not a child.
I don't need
a fire truck ride to feel
- [SIREN WAILS]
- Maya!
Scream.
- What?
- Scream!
- I can't.
- Do it!
No, I can't [SCREAMS]
I c I can't do it.
[SCREAMS]
[SCREAMS]
[SOBS]
[BOTH SCREAMING]
[SCREAMING CONTINUES]
[BOTH PANTING]
♪
♪
[WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]
You know, you could've
had my back out there.
Bumped me back to the probie seat.
Put me on bag.
I'm just doing my job, Sullivan.
Sullivan?
I'm sorry, is that not your name?
It's Robert.
At least that's what you called
me in bed this morning.
Okay, stop it.
I'm just trying to finish this report.
- Alright.
- [SIGHS]
Andy, look at me.
Okay, when we're at work, I'm not Andy.
I'm Herrera.
You You said no special treatment.
Okay.
But you're gonna have to
make it up to me at home.
Captain Herrera.
REPORTER: Expect a high
near 52 degrees
Looks like Father Bust-A-Move
is gonna make it.
Oh, good!
He'll live to dance another day.
Spread your feet apart.
I'm gonna need to apply
pressure to your fingers.
I don't want you to move.
Can Can you just change it?
Do you have any weapons or
sharp objects on your person?
[CHANNEL CHANGES]
You want to run through
some test questions?
I decided I'm not applying.
What? Why?
A crazed cult dude
puts a cop in a vise grip,
- and they call him "sir."
- Okay.
I pull a kidnapped girl
out of a burning building,
and they shove my head
into the pavement.
Yeah, yeah, but so what?
Look, you've known that's how
it is your entire life.
Exactly. You have to apply, Miller.
You have to change things, right?
Why? Why is it always us
who have to change things
or fix our faces?
Because it is.
And you still think
that by getting a seat
at the table, that
I'm gonna change anything?
Look at Gregory. Look at Sullivan.
No shade, but what has changed?
Yep. They say change
the system from the inside,
and then you're inside,
and you're part of the system.
The only part of this job
that's not corruptible,
the reason why I left,
like, a cushy corporate life
It's the helping people part.
You know?
So I'm I'm gonna help Joyce.
And if that means that I have
to put my career
on the back burner, then
that's what I'm gonna do.
Well, okay, then.
Fair enough.
I can't believe a dude licked me today.
[CHUCKLES]
It's not funny.
I can't believe I'm kinda jealous.
♪
♪
Ruiz, Ruiz, Ruiz, Ruiz
Okay.
[LINE RINGING]
- THEO: Hello?
- Hi. It's Vic.
Hughes. It's It's Vic Hughes.
From Station 19.
Hey, what's up?
Hi. Uh, so, I got your number
from the sub sheet, but
You need a sub?
What? No.
No, sorry, did I, uh
Did I catch you at a bad time, or?
Uh, kinda, yeah.
Yeah, I'm I'm sorry,
I'm actually about to meet someone.
Got it. Okay, um
S-Sorry for the violation.
That was just
Okay. Bye.
[KNOCKING]
Hi. Can I speak to, uh,
Vic Hughes of Station 19?
[BUZZER]
- Hi.
- Hi.
When you're numb to the touch ♪
Silver lining.
Sorry to just show up
Uh, when is your next swab?
For, uh, COVID.
When do you get tested again?
- Tuesday.
- Perfect. Me too.
This too shall pass ♪
- It won't always be the same ♪
- So see you
- Wednesday?
- Yeah.
Yeah.
And every single scar that you claim ♪
Is a stone in the path to this place ♪
Oh! [LAUGHS]
Thanks.
And every single choice
that you made ♪
Alright.
Has led you this way,
so lay your head on me ♪
Lay your head on me ♪
Victorian.
Lay your head on me ♪
Lay your head on me ♪
INARA: Jack?
Is everything okay?
Someday we will be fine ♪
Staring down the long night ♪
Waiting for the sunrise ♪
It's okay, it's all right ♪
I'm taking a leap. [LAUGHS]
I've been there in your place ♪
It's okay, it's all right ♪
- Just lay your head on me ♪
- [CHEERING]
- [LAUGHS]
- Lay your head on me ♪
[LAUGHS]
Lay your head on me ♪
What do you think?
Lay your head on me ♪
Think that I could, uh,
be your mom's boyfriend?
Oh, say yes, Marcus!
Say yes, yes!
Don't be afraid, love ♪
[LAUGHTER]
Aww!
Oh. [LAUGHS]
♪
♪
♪
[ALABAMA SHAKES' "THIS FEELING" PLAYS]
I just kept hoping ♪
I just kept hoping ♪
The way would become clear ♪
♪
I spent all this time ♪
Tryna play nice ♪
And fight my way here ♪
♪
See, I've been having me
a real hard time ♪
But it feels so nice ♪
To know I'm gonna be ♪
- All right ♪
- [EXHALING]
♪
- So, I just kept dreamin' ♪
- [FOOTSTEPS APPROACH]
Tough shift?
Yeah, I just kept dreamin' ♪
[CHUCKLES]
- It wasn't very hard ♪
- Hasn't even started yet.
- Oof.
- [CHUCKLES]
Yeah, you know it's bad when
you're already hating the world
and you haven't even gone in yet.
I spent all this time ♪
I, uh
Tryna figure out why ♪
I saw the video.
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
It's messed up.
[SIGHS]
So, I'm usually
the person that finds
the good in all the bad.
I I'm the silver linings
chick who cracks a joke
even at the darkest of times
to bring everyone else back up, but
Pretty hard to see
the silver lining in that.
Yeah.
You know, I'm pretty good at
silver linings myself.
Yeah?
Alright, show me what you got.
Okay.
Let's go.
- [LAUGHS]
- Hm?
I feel like I shouldn't
even tell you this.
Oh, my God, now you have to tell me!
Okay, um
I've been jogging up and down
this trail all morning
on the off-chance that I might see you.
♪
Uh
I just kept goin' ♪
[BOTH LAUGH]
No, it's not No, it's not it
- Not so much a silver lining
- Yeah.
as it is an adorable confession.
[LAUGHS] Okay.
- But [LAUGHS]
- Okay.
- But it made you smile.
- Yeah.
[CHUCKLES]
- I spent all this time ♪
- I haven't slept for 48 hours.
Tryin' to find my way here ♪
But I went for a run because
the first time you
asked me out, I, um
I was too scared to say yes.
Please don't take this feeling ♪
So, I guess
S-So you decided to stalk me instead?
- Yeah, I guess so.
- Like Okay. Got it.
- It worked!
- Yeah, I guess it did.
[LAUGHING] Right?
I have found at last ♪
Please don't take my feeling ♪
I have found at last ♪
- ANDY: Okay.
- Ooh.
It's not Carina's French toast, but
Mmm!
it's the only thing I know
how to make for breakfast.
That looks amazing.
Mm.
I [LAUGHS]
[GASPS] Oh!
Um, Maya asked me to step in
for her for the week.
Step in?
As acting captain.
Doesn't the department
usually send a sub
for bereavement leave?
Well, due to COVID and pods and stuff,
they said one of
the lieutenants could do it.
And so she asked me.
And you've gone all quiet.
No, no. No.
No.
It's good.
- I'm happy for you.
- Yeah?
Yes. You were made for this.
Plus, couldn't hurt to be
sleeping with the boss, right?
No, no special treatment. Mnh-mnh.
Just like when I was your captain.
Well, maybe a little special treatment.
- Oh!
- [BOTH LAUGH]
MARSHA: Oh, you're the best.
Thanks, kids.
We're so happy that
you're feeling better.
Ooh, so tell me something juicy.
I want some gossip.
Uh, there's not, uh
Not really anything to report.
Mnh-mnh.
Well, w-what about you two?
When is that gonna happen, huh?
[CHUCKLES]
- Oh!
- What?
Don't you want to make
a dying woman happy?
No, you're not
You're not dying, okay?
Not yet.
Some good news might help my odds.
[LAUGHS]
You have a very gentle touch.
Oh. [CHUCKLES]
Well, we finally got
the smaller swabs, so
Hm. You know, it's not the size,
it's how you use it.
Okay, guys, this is
bordering on inappropriate.
You saw The Running Guy, didn't you?
- I don't know.
- Okay.
So, Emmett, here's the thing.
Vic has a new crush,
and it's a firefighter
at another station.
- Uh-huh.
- And she won't tell me who it is.
I am keeping this one close to the vest.
Chest? What's the saying?
I think it's playing it close to the
Doesn't matter. Who's the guy?
No! No, there's nothing even to tell.
The only thing we've done is
make eyes at each other
over our masks and
some light finger brushing.
I'm sorry, finger brushing?
Yeah!
How very "Pride and Prejudice" of you.
Yes! Yes. See? Thank you! Thank you.
It's, uh It's Victorian.
- Uh, Georgian.
- Whatever!
- It's annoying, is what it is.
- I like it.
No, it's
- You don't even know.
- Oh, after you, Captain.
- By all means.
- [SIGHS]
Come on, Gibson. [CHUCKLES]
I'm not the captain.
She just asked me to be
in charge while she's gone.
- JACK: Yeah, no, okay.
- What?
I-I just think it's
interesting, that's all.
That, you know, we're both lieutenants,
yet she decided to put you in charge
- while on bereavement leave.
- Oh.
- I just think it's interesting.
- You think Uh, well,
you want me to explain it to you?
- Okay.
- See, Bishop likes me
more than she likes you.
Oh. Ohh! Yeah, uh
Y-Yeah, no, you know what?
That's actually helpful.
So thank you.
And, uh, just to remind you.
The whole reason Bishop's out is 'cause
her girlfriend's brother got murdered.
So maybe let's not make
this a competition.
And now I feel like an ass.
[SIGHS]
ANDY: Hey.
Huh! Warren, hey, uh
I didn't think you'd be here today.
- Oh.
- I called in a sub.
I-I need to be here.
I-I need to help people.
I-I get that. I'm the same way.
But are you sure you shouldn't
- Please don't say it.
- be at home?
Look, my my kids didn't know DeLuca.
And they just lost their grandmother.
They don't need all my extra
grief up in their space.
Yeah, I-I was just gonna ask Bishop
if I could be on desk duty.
Bishop's on bereavement with Carina.
Right, right.
S-So you're Acting captain.
[SIGHING] Alright,
you're on desk duty.
Go ahead.
Hey, head into the barn for testing.
♪
♪
Hey.
I know this looks crazy.
Not any crazier than finding you
lying in the hallway at 3:00 a.m.
I can't get comfortable anywhere.
You want to give the bed
or the couch another shot?
Too soft.
Hm?
When something is too soft
and nice and comfortable
right now, it makes me want to cry,
and I can't cry anymore
because it's exhausting
and it gives me a headache,
and I'm already so tired,
but I can't fall asleep,
and sleeping is the only thing
that will turn off the crazy guilt
screaming in my brain.
So I'm in the shower
to try to fall asleep.
Carina none of this is your fault.
Hm.
You want to scream?
Would that make you feel better?
Okay.
Then scream.
♪
Your brother died, Carina.
You're allowed to wake up the neighbors.
He didn't die.
He was murdered.
Scream.
[GROANS]
[SIGHS HEAVILY]
[WEAKLY] Ahh.
[SOBBING]
Andrea.
[SIGHS]
♪
[CRYING] T-Too soft.
Too soft, too soft.
Okay, I'm sorry. Sorry.
♪
[SIGHS SHAKILY]
♪
Well, how about you?
Uh, are you, uh, dating?
Well, I mean, I tried to.
I had a few online drinks
with a few guys.
And then the whole
"Let me be your daddy" thing
happened and Yeah.
Yeah, that would make me
never want to have sex again.
- [CHUCKLES]
- Yeah.
You know, um, Alicia found a picture of
some guy's junk on my phone
before I came out to her.
Oh, wow.
It wasn't yours, so we're good.
[CHUCKLES] Uh, I-I told her that
it was probably just
one of the guys from school
playing a dumb prank.
Like, you know, "locker room" crap.
I thought I was done for.
I packed my bags,
ready for her to kick me out.
She believed it.
Wow.
I find that, um,
people are actually really good
at lying to themselves when
it's for self-preservation.
[BUZZER]
Hey, is that
My dad.
Are you gonna
Why is my dad here?
Maybe he's here to come out.
[KNOCKING ON GLASS]
Travis!
You gonna let me in?
Put your mask on, Dad.
- Oh, mask for masc?
- Please stop.
♪
[BUZZER]
Oh.
From your mother.
[DOOR CLOSES]
Why are you here, Dad?
I'm gonna I'm just gonna
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Good to see you.
[MOUTHING WORDS]
You've never even seen
where I work, Dad.
- [DOOR CLOSES]
- Spare the dramatics, Travis.
I just brought cookies.
Right. Travis. Dramatics.
Travis the drama queen.
Hey, you know, um,
could you come over and help
your mother and I install
security on our computer?
Craziest thing happened.
My Facebook page seems
to have gotten hacked.
Someone stole my picture.
Did they?
Yeah, who knows where that's
gonna wind up.
Yeah. [CHUCKLES] Huh.
So this is how we're
gonna talk about it?
You're gonna make up a lie
about why I saw a shirtless pic
of you on a gay dating app?
I don't know what you think you saw
[KLAXONS SOUND]
DISPATCH: Ladder 19,
Aid Car 19 requested to
- 2018 East Olive Avenue.
- Here, Dad.
Maybe those cookies will help
wash down all that shame.
[KLAXONS CONTINUE]
Montgomery, was that, uh, your dad?
- He seems kinda
- Gay?
Whoa, Probie, Probie.
Probie sits in the probie seat.
Come on, Gibson.
Probie sits in the probie seat, man.
I'm sorry, but
How it's done.
♪
[SIGHS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
[SIREN WAILING]
[HORN HONKING]
I have to go to Italy.
- What?
- I have to tell my dad,
and I think the best way
to do it is in person.
Carina, take a breath.
Let's talk this through.
Because I don't know how
he's gonna react to the news,
and I just need to be there in
case he goes crazy or something.
Okay, there are no flights
to Italy right now.
The border is closed there and here.
And even if you could get there,
we're in a pandemic, remember?
[SIGHS] I
Okay, yeah, I have Ah!
Okay, I feel like there's
so much that I have to do,
and I don't even know how!
Okay, what do What do you want?
What do you need? What can I do?
I-I-I have to organize
the funeral, I have to
I have to contact his landlord,
I have to call the bank to sort out
all the details and paperwork.
I have I have to tell my dad.
But what I want to do right now
is scream.
I want to scream until my throat hurts
more than my head
and my stomach and my chest.
I just want to scream so that
some of this pressure goes away.
So scream. Do it. Let it out.
I can't.
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
I c I can't. I can't.
I can't.
♪
[SIREN WAILING]
"The pressure which is normally found on
a water distribution system is known"
Residual pressure.
Can Can we just not do this now?
You asked me to help you study
for the lieutenant's exam.
I-I did. But that was before
Chief Gregory called me.
He says, although he does condone
what Sullivan and I did
for Jada and Shanice,
and the charges were
technically dropped,
brass is concerned with
my decision to fight for change.
[SIGHS] You mean your decision
to sue the police department.
- Mm-hmm.
- Well, yeah. I can see why.
Gregory thinks I have to choose between
getting justice for Joyce,
and applying for a promotion.
And he won't vouch for you?
No. And if he did, would they listen?
[MUFFLED DANCE MUSIC THUMPING]
♪
♪
What is this place?
I'm gonna guess, uh, dance academy?
No. No, I grew up with
dance academy kids.
This is
BROTHER JOHN: Fear is what tethers us
to this Earth.
I do not subscribe to fear!
If I believe I can fly, I can fly!
[CHEERING]
Yep.
This is a cult.
♪
[DANCE MUSIC THUMPING]
Sir, you're not a bird. You're a guy.
[SIGHS]
Alright. Just get out the bag.
Shouldn't we wait for PD?
Are
Copy that.
BROTHER JOHN: Our society is designed
to raise us on fear and shame,
on the suppression of our humanity,
on our connectedness.
But when we come together
and unlearn all that poison,
anything is possible.
I can feel that.
The vibration.
Do you feel that?!
Can you feel that vibration?!
Oh, it's Marky Mark day
at the dance cult. Fun.
My children, we have
unlearned the weight
of shame and fear.
Do you feel how powerful we are now?
Our collective vibration
is what will give me wings.
I-I don't care how much energy
these people are giving you.
If you jump off that roof,
there's a good chance you won't survive.
You don't understand
what Brother John's doing here.
You don't understand how
trapped you are in your own mind.
Our minds are free!
Free or on drugs?
- We don't do drugs.
- Mm.
We're high on the freedom of thought.
We're high on the magic of humanity
that was beaten out of us as children.
- Right.
- We're high on breath
Okay, let me tell you something.
If you don't put your mask back on,
you're gonna be high on COVID.
Can you believe these idiots?
Dr. Warren Sterman.
I live down the road a bit.
I'm the one who called.
Oh, you called. So, is anyone hurt?
Not yet. But look at 'em.
Okay. Alright. [SIGHS]
We need to get someone up there.
Oh, pick me. Please.
Winner winner, chicken dinner.
Ugh, these people are not
living in reality.
You can't talk sense to them.
They just believe whatever
their whack-job guru tells them.
BROTHER JOHN: Join us!
All are welcome.
Let your fears melt away.
Feed on our vibrations.
Well, I would,
but I had a big breakfast.
[LAUGHS]
Do you mind telling me
what you're doing up there?
I'm demonstrating faith.
Faith in my people.
Faith in my family.
Faith that all the work we do here
- has driven us to this day.
- Dispatch, this is Ladder 19
Incident Commander. Where is PD?
No, sir. No. Bleach is not
an effective remedy.
It Uh
- Okay then.
- Hey, excuse me!
Excuse me! Can you help?
Uh, w-what happened, sir?
[GRUNTS]
It's pretty bad.
Okay.
Uh, looks like it got you good.
Uh, how'd you do it?
I was so stupid.
I-I've cut fabric thousands of times.
But today I was distracted,
and then the phone rang,
and the fabric cutter just
went right over my finger.
- Well, have a seat.
- Yeah.
[WHIMPERS]
Okay.
Can I take a look at that?
- Yeah.
- [DOOR CLOSES]
Let's see here.
Aah! [GRUNTS]
Okay, well, you don't have nerve damage.
But you're gonna need a hand surgeon.
Are you sure?
Are you sure you can't just fix it here?
I'm a surgeon, but I'm not the one
- that you want to be seeing about this.
- Really?
You're You're a surgeon?
Well, how lucky am I?
I'm a general surgeon.
But I don't specialize in
No, well, I-I make
my living playing piano,
and I really need this finger.
Well, then, you really need
to get to a hospital.
Now hold pressure while I call ahead.
N-No, uh, I'm severely
immunocompromised.
I
I live with HIV.
Please, there has to be another option
than going to the hospital.
I thought I read
that that Seattle Fire
has some kind of
mobile surgery unit or
Yeah, it's, uh
It's no longer in commission.
My friend lost his partner.
They went to the hospital
for chest pains,
and three days later,
he was on a ventilator.
And three days after that, he was gone.
So, no, I can't. I can't go there.
I-I'll just I'll just put ice on it
and, um, hope that it heals.
Uh, thank you.
I I'm sorry to bother you.
Well, no, wait. Wait, wait.
Um
I I can help you.
Okay, just, uh
Just promise you won't tell anyone.
Oh. Oh!
Pinky swear.
♪
Did you sleep?
No, but I tried.
In the shower. Like a lunatic.
Well, I got everything sorted out
with the funeral home.
You called them?
I called everyone.
I did the whole list.
I did all the things.
Thank you.
[REFRIGERATOR DOOR OPENS]
No one has ever done that for me.
[CLATTER, REFRIGERATOR DOOR CLOSES]
Any chance you could
call my dad for me too?
[INHALES SHARPLY]
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
I wish I could.
- Mm-hmm.
- That's one you got to do on your own.
I know.
I'm so scared to tell him.
I know.
[SNIFFLES]
I'm gonna try again.
To sleep?
To scream.
[CARINA BREATHES SHAKILY]
[SIREN WAILING, DANCE MUSIC THUMPING]
SULLIVAN: Man, this thing is heavy.
TRAVIS: Been a while since
you moved a bag, huh?
[VIC CHUCKLES]
Here we go.
VIC: Don't worry.
They can't touch us in uniform.
Yeah, that's what pisses me off.
SULLIVAN: Miller, we need them.
We have to work with them.
♪
[PANTING]
♪
[GOGGLES CLATTER]
Damn it!
♪
Hey, man. I'm Jack.
Brother Jack!
Welcome!
Dance with me.
Uh, yeah, you do not want
to see me dance, trust me.
Ah-ha-ha!
Shame!
Where does that shame come from?
Hey, brother,
if that shame is too heavy,
just sit down.
Absorb this energy.
How about you come
sit over here with me?
Away from the ledge.
BUCKNER: Sir, you need to
come down right now!
- [CROWD JEERING]
- Or what?
You'll shoot me?
Aw, man!
The systems our world has put into place
to instill fear and control.
And we eat it up!
We do, man.
We've been fed that since childhood.
- Right.
- Right?
- Yeah.
- Fear for breakfast.
Fear for lunch. Fear for dinner.
Like sugary cereal.
Frosted Fear-i-o's!
[CHEERS AND LAUGHTER]
- Brother Jack.
- JACK: Yeah?
- You're not dancing.
- Trust me, you really don't
Come on, shake off some of that shame.
- I don't dance.
- Come on!
I d Okay, okay! Okay.
I'm dancing. Okay?
Louder.
How do you dance louder?
Ask that little boy version of yourself.
"How do I dance louder?!"
I don't know what you're
talking about, man.
I don't know how to dance Okay! Okay!
Okay. Okay.
I'm dancing louder. Okay?
I'm dancing louder. See? See?
Dancing louder.
Yeah! Louder! Ha!
I feel a connection to you,
Brother Jack.
- Good. Feel it over here.
- A soul connection, man.
- I feel you.
- [MEMBERS GRUNTING RHYTHMICALLY]
I've been you.
Alone.
- Um, okay.
- Afraid.
You're lost.
- Hey.
- Yeah?
When was the last time you felt loved?
Actually, wait. Better question.
When was the last time
you felt safe to love?
I
- Ah!
- Okay, alright.
Okay, alright.
TRAVIS: This might be
the best day of my life.
Yeah, I'm gonna need him
to remember this.
What the hell is wrong
with these people?
[MAN SPEAKING GIBBERISH]
Is that guy hyperventilating?
Maybe it's on purpose.
I mean, they seem happy.
Calamana-skrinatchka-dancala!
[THUD] Him less so.
I'm tired, man. Can we sit?
You still haven't answered
my question, Brother Jack.
What was the question?
I ask because I see your pain.
It's so much better on the other side.
- You can be on that other side, too.
- No, no, there's no
There's no pain. There's no pain, okay?
Look, as long as we stay on
this side of the edge,
I'm good.
Why stay on the roof
when you can dance in the stars?
We must continue harvesting.
Okay, what are we harvesting, exactly?
Energy.
We got to get back
to that spiritual self.
When we all do,
we could fill the air
with such high vibration
that when I jump, I will fly.
- Please don't jump, man.
- Dude!
Come on, John.
This guy's still planning to fly,
so, uh, get that bag ready.
Sir, why don't you just take a breather.
- Oh!
- That was a pretty hard fall
you took back there.
- [WHIMPERS]
- And it looks like
you dislocated your shoulder,
for starters.
- That's got to hurt.
- Pain is only in the flesh.
Yep. Well, that's what
I meant by "hurt."
Oh, must keep vibrating!
Okay, you can keep vibrating.
Just let us help you
while you do it, okay?
♪
Oh, my God.
No. Oh, God.
- Did he just lick me?
- Yeah. Don't move.
Don't move. Don't blink.
- Don't breathe! Just stop.
- [SIREN WAILS]
- Aah!
- [CAR DOORS CLOSING]
Wait.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
- What?
- Just, uh
Just Just give me the pack.
Heads up!
♪
JERRY: This damn virus.
Reminds me of the '80s.
You, uh You lived through
the AIDS crisis?
[CHUCKLES]
I went to college at
the Manhattan School of Music.
My first time away from home,
first time in a big city.
It was such freedom. [CHUCKLES]
I felt I could float.
But then
the plague came.
"Gay-Related Immune Deficiency,"
they called it.
GRID. Everyone panicked.
The queer community was isolated.
I lost friend after friend after friend.
And I'd worked so hard to live out loud,
and suddenly, I was back in the fear.
And the shame.
Afraid to get close to anyone.
Afraid to even live my life.
Kinda like now.
No one knows how it's spread,
and there's so much misinformation,
and the politicians refusing to even
acknowledge that it's real.
Suddenly, I'm 22 again.
And scared to death.
[CLEARS THROAT]
GIDEON: Calamana!
- VIC: Dude.
- Skrinatchka!
Hey, dude. Come on. Let's just
- Dancala!
- Dude. Dude! You could
Come on, we're just trying
to give you some
medical attention, okay?
No! Sir
Sir, please get your hands off me.
Sir, back away now.
Okay, come on.
WICKLUND: Hey, Miller.
VIC: Feel better? Come on.
Hey, listen, I just want
to say I'm sorry.
Okay? What Schneider did that day
But you didn't stop it.
You saw what he was doing,
you stood there,
and you let it happen.
It all happened so fast. I'm sorry.
I-I reported him later.
Look, I'm not even talking
about what they did to me.
It's those girls.
If we hadn't gone in that building,
those girls would be gone.
You do understand that, right?
I do.
He's suspended, okay?
Pending investigation.
Well, congratulations, man.
You picked the bad apple
out of the barrel.
♪
[SIGHS]
You showered.
Mm. I was already there,
and I couldn't sleep, so, um
I didn't want to call you when
I was in the car with Andrea
because I knew you would
talk me out of it.
And tell me to make my brother stop.
Tell me that it was dangerous.
And you did.
And you were right.
And I still think
I feel like this is
Why? Why didn't I stop him?
This is This is all my fault.
This is I My brother is dead
because I'm an idiot.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Listen to me.
None of this is your fault.
Whose fault is it, then?
Who am I supposed to blame?
- Who?
- Blame me!
We have to get some of this off of you.
I will take it. Blame me.
I should have gotten to you sooner.
I should have been there. Blame me.
Maya, this is not your fault.
Then why is it yours?
Because I let him on that train!
I did that.
- I I
- Hey.
Give me the guilt, okay?
Give me the the blame.
Give me the part that stings the most.
Okay, let me hold on to it
for a a little while.
And when you're feeling
a little stronger,
you can have it all back.
- [INHALES DEEPLY]
- I promise.
♪
Too soft. I'm sorry.
- Mm.
- [SNIFFLES]
♪
BROTHER JOHN: A man
can't dance on his rooftop
- on a beautiful day?
- Okay, we're shutting the music down.
What do you want to do?
[SIGHS] I want to let
my lieutenant try a little longer
to get him down.
DR. STERMAN: Watch out for
this guy. He may look nuts,
but he's a charmer and he's dangerous.
Oh. Gibson will be okay.
He's pretty charming himself.
[MICROPHONE FEEDBACK,
STATIC CRACKLING]
John, please, just take a step back.
The energy is full. It's almost time.
John, please. You're gonna get hurt.
Is that a good reason
not to do something?
So that you don't get hurt?
You run away from danger.
John, I'm a firefighter.
My job is literally to run into danger.
But real danger you run from.
[MICROPHONE FEEDBACK]
♪
Everyone here has learned
the same lessons as you, Jack.
All my children came to me
so bruised and alone
from a lifetime of pain.
Brother Jack,
you have the look in your eye
that so many of my followers do.
You crave family.
You crave stewardship.
Love.
I'm good, man. I have love.
You're an orphan.
- Well, guess what?
- [MEMBERS GASP]
I'm an orphan, too.
That's why I built this family.
You don't like being alone,
do you, Jack?
Scary, isn't it?
♪
But look at my children.
See how full they are.
John, please, just take one step back.
Please.
Just one.
I'll take a step if you talk to me.
Okay, okay.
Tell me about your heart.
Are you lonely?
Yeah, some sometimes. Yeah.
I'm gonna need more than that.
Okay, okay, okay!
I-I just, uh I just moved in
with this this woman and her son,
and she's great, but
But you're scared?
Scared to open up? Scared to feel?
Scared to lose?
What are their names?
Inara and Marcus.
♪
And you can't fully love
Inara and Marcus, can you?
No, I I can, I just
We all have emotional injuries
from our lives that
prevent us from loving.
If you cut the fear from your heart,
you can love them.
I want to show you what love looks like.
I want you to know what
fearlessness feels like.
♪
No, don't!
Higher, your love has set me free ♪
Now nothing's out of reach ♪
Higher, higher ♪
Ooh ♪
I run the days into the night ♪
I feel my heart is going rogue here ♪
But I kinda love it ♪
Yeah, I will go ♪
[ALL GASP]
[CROWD MURMURING]
[CHEERING] Higher ♪
Your love has set me free ♪
Now nothing's out of reach ♪
Higher, higher ♪
Higher ♪
I'm stronger now, I'm free ♪
I'm who I wanna be ♪
Higher, higher ♪
This ain't no give or take, no ♪
I've learned from my mistakes, ohh ♪
I'm so much stronger now ♪
I'm so much stronger now ♪
This ain't no give or take ♪
I've learned from my mistakes ♪
I'm so much stronger now, ohh ♪
What do you want?
I'm sorry, Miller, but I got to
ask him a few questions.
He's got warrants for
Montgomery, switch with me.
Yeah.
He'll take care of you.
Sir, there's been reports
of suspicious activity coming
Can you meet us at Grey-Sloan?
Talk to him after we've
got him assessed.
We got to go.
- Sure. Yeah.
- Okay.
Hey.
Can I, uh, ride with him?
Join me, Brother Jack.
You two bond up there?
We got a lot in common.
[SIREN WAILING]
Grey-Sloan, this is Aid Car 19.
We're headed towards you with
a 50-year-old male
with abdominal pain,
possible internal bleeding.
Aren't we all bleeding
internally, in many ways?
[CHUCKLES]
You shouldn't talk.
[LAUGHS]
[COUGHS]
Were you trying to die?
I was trying to fly.
But you must have known
that you were gonna fall.
But I didn't fall.
I leapt.
And for that moment of pure freedom,
it was worth it.
♪
SULLIVAN: [GROANS]
You okay?
Ugh, my back.
Does probie need a little IcyHot?
[CHUCKLES] Alright.
Talk to me when you've had as
many hot saves as me.
- Ooh.
- [CHUCKLES]
We have to work with them, Miller.
Every day.
Uh, yeah. Yeah, I know that.
Well, then you need to fix your face.
Have you ever thought that
the reason why things
haven't changed for us
is because we're so quick
to fix our faces?
Well, it is what it is.
They need us, we need them.
Look, if you can't work
with them, just
I can work with them just fine.
I just don't think I have
to fix my face to do it.
Nobody asks Batman to fix his face.
I'm sorry. Are you Batman?
Yeah. I am, in this uniform. We all are.
We're heroes.
And heroes don't have to
fix their faces.
JERRY: You're, uh You're
worried about the rule-breaking.
No, I'm I'm good.
But even better, you're good.
You should have full function of
that finger in about a month.
You're not good.
I know the look.
You've lost people from the virus?
Of course you have.
You're a doctor, a first responder.
So's my wife.
Oh, but she didn't
N-No, no. Thank God.
But, uh her mother.
I'm sorry.
And a few days ago, a friend of mine.
He was a doctor, too.
But not from the virus.
He was, uh He was murdered.
Wait, not Not that handsome young man
who was chasing that sex predator?
Oh! I saw that on the news.
I said a prayer.
You hate to lose anyone, of course,
but someone that attractive?
[CHUCKLES]
Oh, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't joke.
It's just how I've learned to cope.
And I've had to cope a lot.
With this pandemic
and the one back then.
You see, you feel like you're
drowning in your own grief.
You barely get a chance
to catch your breath,
and then you're pulled back down.
Thrashing, not knowing which way is up.
You forget how to breathe.
Or even that you should.
But there's that one thing,
that life preserver
that will keep you afloat
for just a few minutes
so you can save your energy.
And you hang on to that life preserver
and let it keep you alive
un-until you're
no longer at sea.
I'd imagine yours is medicine.
Helping old fools like me. [CHUCKLES]
Mine is music.
So thank you for patching
my life preserver.
♪
[DOOR OPENS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
[LINE RINGING]
Papa. Ciao.
[SPEAKING ITALIAN]
[SIGHS]
Okay.
Okay. Okay.
Si. Ciao.
He heard.
What?
He heard that Andrea died two days ago.
And he didn't call me.
♪
What are we doing?
Okay, Maya, I'm not a child.
I don't need
a fire truck ride to feel
- [SIREN WAILS]
- Maya!
Scream.
- What?
- Scream!
- I can't.
- Do it!
No, I can't [SCREAMS]
I c I can't do it.
[SCREAMS]
[SCREAMS]
[SOBS]
[BOTH SCREAMING]
[SCREAMING CONTINUES]
[BOTH PANTING]
♪
♪
[WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]
You know, you could've
had my back out there.
Bumped me back to the probie seat.
Put me on bag.
I'm just doing my job, Sullivan.
Sullivan?
I'm sorry, is that not your name?
It's Robert.
At least that's what you called
me in bed this morning.
Okay, stop it.
I'm just trying to finish this report.
- Alright.
- [SIGHS]
Andy, look at me.
Okay, when we're at work, I'm not Andy.
I'm Herrera.
You You said no special treatment.
Okay.
But you're gonna have to
make it up to me at home.
Captain Herrera.
REPORTER: Expect a high
near 52 degrees
Looks like Father Bust-A-Move
is gonna make it.
Oh, good!
He'll live to dance another day.
Spread your feet apart.
I'm gonna need to apply
pressure to your fingers.
I don't want you to move.
Can Can you just change it?
Do you have any weapons or
sharp objects on your person?
[CHANNEL CHANGES]
You want to run through
some test questions?
I decided I'm not applying.
What? Why?
A crazed cult dude
puts a cop in a vise grip,
- and they call him "sir."
- Okay.
I pull a kidnapped girl
out of a burning building,
and they shove my head
into the pavement.
Yeah, yeah, but so what?
Look, you've known that's how
it is your entire life.
Exactly. You have to apply, Miller.
You have to change things, right?
Why? Why is it always us
who have to change things
or fix our faces?
Because it is.
And you still think
that by getting a seat
at the table, that
I'm gonna change anything?
Look at Gregory. Look at Sullivan.
No shade, but what has changed?
Yep. They say change
the system from the inside,
and then you're inside,
and you're part of the system.
The only part of this job
that's not corruptible,
the reason why I left,
like, a cushy corporate life
It's the helping people part.
You know?
So I'm I'm gonna help Joyce.
And if that means that I have
to put my career
on the back burner, then
that's what I'm gonna do.
Well, okay, then.
Fair enough.
I can't believe a dude licked me today.
[CHUCKLES]
It's not funny.
I can't believe I'm kinda jealous.
♪
♪
Ruiz, Ruiz, Ruiz, Ruiz
Okay.
[LINE RINGING]
- THEO: Hello?
- Hi. It's Vic.
Hughes. It's It's Vic Hughes.
From Station 19.
Hey, what's up?
Hi. Uh, so, I got your number
from the sub sheet, but
You need a sub?
What? No.
No, sorry, did I, uh
Did I catch you at a bad time, or?
Uh, kinda, yeah.
Yeah, I'm I'm sorry,
I'm actually about to meet someone.
Got it. Okay, um
S-Sorry for the violation.
That was just
Okay. Bye.
[KNOCKING]
Hi. Can I speak to, uh,
Vic Hughes of Station 19?
[BUZZER]
- Hi.
- Hi.
When you're numb to the touch ♪
Silver lining.
Sorry to just show up
Uh, when is your next swab?
For, uh, COVID.
When do you get tested again?
- Tuesday.
- Perfect. Me too.
This too shall pass ♪
- It won't always be the same ♪
- So see you
- Wednesday?
- Yeah.
Yeah.
And every single scar that you claim ♪
Is a stone in the path to this place ♪
Oh! [LAUGHS]
Thanks.
And every single choice
that you made ♪
Alright.
Has led you this way,
so lay your head on me ♪
Lay your head on me ♪
Victorian.
Lay your head on me ♪
Lay your head on me ♪
INARA: Jack?
Is everything okay?
Someday we will be fine ♪
Staring down the long night ♪
Waiting for the sunrise ♪
It's okay, it's all right ♪
I'm taking a leap. [LAUGHS]
I've been there in your place ♪
It's okay, it's all right ♪
- Just lay your head on me ♪
- [CHEERING]
- [LAUGHS]
- Lay your head on me ♪
[LAUGHS]
Lay your head on me ♪
What do you think?
Lay your head on me ♪
Think that I could, uh,
be your mom's boyfriend?
Oh, say yes, Marcus!
Say yes, yes!
Don't be afraid, love ♪
[LAUGHTER]
Aww!
Oh. [LAUGHS]
♪
♪
♪