Steven Universe (2013) s03e16 Episode Script
Greg the Babysitter
1 - Garnet: # We # - # Are the Crystal # - Steven: # Gems # - # we'll always save the day # Steven: # and if you think we can't # All: # we'll always find a way # - # that's why the people # - # of this world # - Garnet: # believe in # - # Garnet # - # Amethyst # - # and Pearl # Steven: # And Steven! # Bye! Thanks for coming! Man, two customers! The car wash hasn't been that busy since that mud tornado 15 years ago.
They called it "The mud-nado.
" Wow! You've worked here longer than I've been alive! How'd you even get this job? Well, I was hanging out with your mom, and Hold the phone! [Panting.]
Oh, you're getting fast there.
Don't tell me, sing me! You rascal! Can I ever tell you a story without working in a song again? I'm playing it by ear.
You, look at everything you are Look at everything you do It's incredible As incredible as you And me I guess I'm content to be On the arm of someone who Is as incredible as you And it's a full-time job admiring All the ways that you're inspiring If I had my way I'd do it all day That's why it's really, really hard to say I think I need a little cha-a-ange I think I need a little cha-a-ange I think I need a little cha-a-a-a-a-a-a-ange Oh I always did believe That love is all you need To be a happy man Oh That may have been naive I guess I need to eat That wasn't in the plan And it's a full-time job admiring All the ways that you're inspiring If I had my way I'd do it all day The only problem is it doesn't pay I think I need a little cha-a-ange I think I need a little cha-a-ange I think I need a little cha-a-a-a-a-a-ange Oh, that's not even enough for a bad hot dog.
[Doorbell rings.]
Sup, Vidalia? [Pop!.]
Greg What a surprise.
Ready to eat? You're gonna love these mushed up carrots! Ooh! Someone's excited! Get ready.
Oh, you're too cool for mushed up carrots? Meh.
I'm hungry for babies! [Chuckles.]
Hey, I'm trying to negotiate here.
Ooh! You got the good stuff.
Doesn't your magical girlfriend know how to cook? Nah, Rose doesn't really need to eat, but I do.
Hmm.
So have you done anything lately besides worship everything she does? I've been working on some songs for my new album.
[Munches.]
Oh, the same new album you've been working on for six months? Yep! Oh, that's good.
How's baby life? How does it look? Hard.
Mind if I bum around here for the day? No more than usual.
Man, you're really selling me on that cereal, Universe.
It's so good! Come to mama.
[Coughing.]
Thanks for leaving me all the cereal dust, Greg! No problem! Ugh! What am I supposed to eat now? Mmm! Oh, good idea, Sour Cream! Announcer: Coming this fall [Doorbell rings.]
He's a little butler with a big attitude.
[Laughs.]
Vidalia, have you seen this com Whoa! My couch! [Laughs.]
Whoops! I guess I made a mess, huh? [Washer rumbling.]
Uhp-uhp! Take it off.
Oh, yeah, sorry.
Whoa, that's a look.
Where'd you get that shirt? T-shirt shop.
You bought that? No, it's my uniform.
I work there starting today.
You sold out, V.
Got to grow up sometime.
[Telephone rings.]
Hello? [Door closes.]
Uh-huh.
Wait, what do you mean you can't come? Death in the family? Wait, a hamster doesn't count! You can't do this to me! Look, I I really need Hey! Hello? Aaaah! Lousy 12-year-old! What happened? Listen, Greg, my babysitter cancelled.
I need you to watch Sour Cream for me while I'm at work.
Can you do it? Oh, yeah.
Why not? I'm not doing anything.
I think.
Trust me, you're not.
Okay, don't forget, diaper bag's over there, snacks are over there.
Emergency number's on the fridge.
And if anything bad happens to my kid, you better pray your space goddess' magic can bring people back from the dead, because I will destroy you.
Have fun at work.
So, how about it, Sour Cream, you ready to spend the day with your rad Unkie Greg? Meh.
You really are Vidalia's son, aren't you? There you go.
Okay.
Baby Sour Cream, meet sun screen.
Oh, can't forget these! [Laughs.]
You're one cool baby! Rose: Hi, Greg! Hi, Rose.
Greg! Where did you get this mini human from? Oh, this is Sour Cream.
Did you make him? Wh-what? [Laughs.]
No.
I'm just babysitting for Vidalia.
Hi, Sour Cream.
I'm Rose.
Hey, let's show this baby how to beach it.
Yeah! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Yee-haw! [Laughing.]
That feels great! Hey, Sour Cream, look at me.
[Laughs.]
I'm a sand man! [Laughs.]
[Spits.]
[Chuckles.]
I guess he just likes siting on this blanket.
You wouldn't believe how long it took me to figure out that this and you are the same thing.
What do you mean? You're both human.
You have to admit, it's a little confusing.
Your big and can talk, and he's small and can only make noises.
How was I supposed to know you were the same species? [Laughs.]
What? I know, it's silly.
But then I started to notice that you grow.
Well, can't play guitar with little baby hands.
[Laughs.]
When a gem is made, it's for a reason.
They burst out of the ground already knowing what they're supposed to be, and then that's what they are.
Forever.
But you, you're supposed to change.
You're never the same even moment to moment you're allowed and expected to invent who you are.
What an incredible power the ability to "grow up.
" Wow.
Those would make some pretty good lyrics.
Hold on.
Watch Sour Cream a second.
I got to write this down! All right, what were you saying? Something really profound, yet relatable? [Guitar thuds, twangs.]
Oh, my gosh! Vidalia is gonna destroy me! Sour Cream! Rose! Where are you guys?! [Panting.]
Rose! [Seagull screeches.]
Hyah! Sour cream?! Are y'all up there?! Sour Cream! Rose cream! Rose?! Greg.
Rose! Wow, you look tired.
Thank goodness I found the both Where's Sour Cream?! I thought you were gonna watch him for me! Oh, I watched him.
I watched him climb all the way up there.
[Screams.]
Isn't this exciting? This'll be a formative experience for him.
Well, not if he falls! Come on! Okay.
I'll try and get him down.
[Grunting.]
Phew.
[Grunts.]
Hey, Baby Cream, stay right there.
Whew.
How can you be so calm right now? Uh How do I get Mmmmmmmmm! Rose! Help me out! Are those the controls over there? Right, yes.
Hold on.
I think you got to pull one of those levers! This one? Whoa! It's, uh, going a little too fast.
Hold on, Sour Cream.
[Grunts.]
Whoa! Rose, get me off this crazy thing! Ugh! Leave Greg alone! [Screaming.]
[Growling.]
No-o-o-o-o-o! Greg! [Growls.]
Hup! Aaaah! Oof! Greg.
Sour Cream! Whew! He's safe.
[Grunts.]
Why did you let him climb that thing? He wanted to.
Well, Rose, you can't just let him do whatever he wants.
But you do whatever you want, and you're fine.
Yeah, but I'm not a baby.
I don't need someone to feed me or change my clothes.
I don't need someone to save me when I climb on to a Ferris wheel and Oh, man.
I am a baby.
Do you want to get down? Yeah.
Aw, look at you.
Did you have fun with Greg, Sour Cream? Oh, yeah.
Nothing but safe wholesome fun with Unkie Greg.
[Chuckles.]
Listen, Vidalia, um, thanks for the food and everything else.
Today has been quite a journey.
Okay? Your shirt's clean.
You want it back, or are you just gonna go for a topless stroll? Hey, we all got to grow up sometime, right? That's not really relevant to my question.
[Humming.]
I know I'm not that tall I know I'm not that smart Let me drive my van into your wash Let me drive my van into your wash Wow.
And you've worked here ever since.
That's right.
You know, people grow, whether they want to or not.
But growing up is something you got to decide to do.
Hey, what ever happened to Baby Sour Cream? No one knows.
Meh.
If I could begin to do Something that does right by you I would do about anything I would even learn how to love
They called it "The mud-nado.
" Wow! You've worked here longer than I've been alive! How'd you even get this job? Well, I was hanging out with your mom, and Hold the phone! [Panting.]
Oh, you're getting fast there.
Don't tell me, sing me! You rascal! Can I ever tell you a story without working in a song again? I'm playing it by ear.
You, look at everything you are Look at everything you do It's incredible As incredible as you And me I guess I'm content to be On the arm of someone who Is as incredible as you And it's a full-time job admiring All the ways that you're inspiring If I had my way I'd do it all day That's why it's really, really hard to say I think I need a little cha-a-ange I think I need a little cha-a-ange I think I need a little cha-a-a-a-a-a-a-ange Oh I always did believe That love is all you need To be a happy man Oh That may have been naive I guess I need to eat That wasn't in the plan And it's a full-time job admiring All the ways that you're inspiring If I had my way I'd do it all day The only problem is it doesn't pay I think I need a little cha-a-ange I think I need a little cha-a-ange I think I need a little cha-a-a-a-a-a-ange Oh, that's not even enough for a bad hot dog.
[Doorbell rings.]
Sup, Vidalia? [Pop!.]
Greg What a surprise.
Ready to eat? You're gonna love these mushed up carrots! Ooh! Someone's excited! Get ready.
Oh, you're too cool for mushed up carrots? Meh.
I'm hungry for babies! [Chuckles.]
Hey, I'm trying to negotiate here.
Ooh! You got the good stuff.
Doesn't your magical girlfriend know how to cook? Nah, Rose doesn't really need to eat, but I do.
Hmm.
So have you done anything lately besides worship everything she does? I've been working on some songs for my new album.
[Munches.]
Oh, the same new album you've been working on for six months? Yep! Oh, that's good.
How's baby life? How does it look? Hard.
Mind if I bum around here for the day? No more than usual.
Man, you're really selling me on that cereal, Universe.
It's so good! Come to mama.
[Coughing.]
Thanks for leaving me all the cereal dust, Greg! No problem! Ugh! What am I supposed to eat now? Mmm! Oh, good idea, Sour Cream! Announcer: Coming this fall [Doorbell rings.]
He's a little butler with a big attitude.
[Laughs.]
Vidalia, have you seen this com Whoa! My couch! [Laughs.]
Whoops! I guess I made a mess, huh? [Washer rumbling.]
Uhp-uhp! Take it off.
Oh, yeah, sorry.
Whoa, that's a look.
Where'd you get that shirt? T-shirt shop.
You bought that? No, it's my uniform.
I work there starting today.
You sold out, V.
Got to grow up sometime.
[Telephone rings.]
Hello? [Door closes.]
Uh-huh.
Wait, what do you mean you can't come? Death in the family? Wait, a hamster doesn't count! You can't do this to me! Look, I I really need Hey! Hello? Aaaah! Lousy 12-year-old! What happened? Listen, Greg, my babysitter cancelled.
I need you to watch Sour Cream for me while I'm at work.
Can you do it? Oh, yeah.
Why not? I'm not doing anything.
I think.
Trust me, you're not.
Okay, don't forget, diaper bag's over there, snacks are over there.
Emergency number's on the fridge.
And if anything bad happens to my kid, you better pray your space goddess' magic can bring people back from the dead, because I will destroy you.
Have fun at work.
So, how about it, Sour Cream, you ready to spend the day with your rad Unkie Greg? Meh.
You really are Vidalia's son, aren't you? There you go.
Okay.
Baby Sour Cream, meet sun screen.
Oh, can't forget these! [Laughs.]
You're one cool baby! Rose: Hi, Greg! Hi, Rose.
Greg! Where did you get this mini human from? Oh, this is Sour Cream.
Did you make him? Wh-what? [Laughs.]
No.
I'm just babysitting for Vidalia.
Hi, Sour Cream.
I'm Rose.
Hey, let's show this baby how to beach it.
Yeah! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Yee-haw! [Laughing.]
That feels great! Hey, Sour Cream, look at me.
[Laughs.]
I'm a sand man! [Laughs.]
[Spits.]
[Chuckles.]
I guess he just likes siting on this blanket.
You wouldn't believe how long it took me to figure out that this and you are the same thing.
What do you mean? You're both human.
You have to admit, it's a little confusing.
Your big and can talk, and he's small and can only make noises.
How was I supposed to know you were the same species? [Laughs.]
What? I know, it's silly.
But then I started to notice that you grow.
Well, can't play guitar with little baby hands.
[Laughs.]
When a gem is made, it's for a reason.
They burst out of the ground already knowing what they're supposed to be, and then that's what they are.
Forever.
But you, you're supposed to change.
You're never the same even moment to moment you're allowed and expected to invent who you are.
What an incredible power the ability to "grow up.
" Wow.
Those would make some pretty good lyrics.
Hold on.
Watch Sour Cream a second.
I got to write this down! All right, what were you saying? Something really profound, yet relatable? [Guitar thuds, twangs.]
Oh, my gosh! Vidalia is gonna destroy me! Sour Cream! Rose! Where are you guys?! [Panting.]
Rose! [Seagull screeches.]
Hyah! Sour cream?! Are y'all up there?! Sour Cream! Rose cream! Rose?! Greg.
Rose! Wow, you look tired.
Thank goodness I found the both Where's Sour Cream?! I thought you were gonna watch him for me! Oh, I watched him.
I watched him climb all the way up there.
[Screams.]
Isn't this exciting? This'll be a formative experience for him.
Well, not if he falls! Come on! Okay.
I'll try and get him down.
[Grunting.]
Phew.
[Grunts.]
Hey, Baby Cream, stay right there.
Whew.
How can you be so calm right now? Uh How do I get Mmmmmmmmm! Rose! Help me out! Are those the controls over there? Right, yes.
Hold on.
I think you got to pull one of those levers! This one? Whoa! It's, uh, going a little too fast.
Hold on, Sour Cream.
[Grunts.]
Whoa! Rose, get me off this crazy thing! Ugh! Leave Greg alone! [Screaming.]
[Growling.]
No-o-o-o-o-o! Greg! [Growls.]
Hup! Aaaah! Oof! Greg.
Sour Cream! Whew! He's safe.
[Grunts.]
Why did you let him climb that thing? He wanted to.
Well, Rose, you can't just let him do whatever he wants.
But you do whatever you want, and you're fine.
Yeah, but I'm not a baby.
I don't need someone to feed me or change my clothes.
I don't need someone to save me when I climb on to a Ferris wheel and Oh, man.
I am a baby.
Do you want to get down? Yeah.
Aw, look at you.
Did you have fun with Greg, Sour Cream? Oh, yeah.
Nothing but safe wholesome fun with Unkie Greg.
[Chuckles.]
Listen, Vidalia, um, thanks for the food and everything else.
Today has been quite a journey.
Okay? Your shirt's clean.
You want it back, or are you just gonna go for a topless stroll? Hey, we all got to grow up sometime, right? That's not really relevant to my question.
[Humming.]
I know I'm not that tall I know I'm not that smart Let me drive my van into your wash Let me drive my van into your wash Wow.
And you've worked here ever since.
That's right.
You know, people grow, whether they want to or not.
But growing up is something you got to decide to do.
Hey, what ever happened to Baby Sour Cream? No one knows.
Meh.
If I could begin to do Something that does right by you I would do about anything I would even learn how to love