Steven Universe (2013) s05e10 Episode Script

Kevin Party

If you see him, call me right away.
He's my only inter-dimensional gateway to space, and I love him.
Okay, I think I have enough fliers left to Aah! Aah! [Tires screech] [Music] What are you doing Saturday night? - Hey! Listen! Little kid! - Beat it, Kevin.
I'm throwing a party at my parents' palatial estate.
All the coolest teens in Delmarva have RSVP'd except one the only one cooler than I am.
Are you talking about me? What? No! Ew! - I'm talking about Stevonnie.
- W-What?! You can't just [Grumbles] This is the last thing I need right now.
Look, Stevonnie is better than me, okay? Better dancer, better driver.
Stevonnie truly does not care what anyone thinks.
That's why they're the coolest.
If I can't be the coolest, I at least got to be seen hanging with the coolest.
Stevonnie only exists when Connie and I are together, and we're I'm not coming.
[Sighs] Great.
So I invited that other kid for nothing.
Wh Connie's going?! [Panting] Of course she's going.
No one turns down an invitation to a Kevin party.
But she can't stand you.
Why would she [Gasps] Wait.
Did you say all of this to her, too? Does she think I'm [Grunts] I'm gonna be there? [Engine revs] - Is it too late to RSVP? - Yes.
But I'll make an exception for Stevonnie.
[Tires squeal] [Tires screech] Wait.
What's your number? I'll text you the address.
Oh.
Yeah, uh, 301-555 Here, you enter it.
Okay, uh, how do I? You roll the little ball to navigate.
The screen is so tiny.
Here.
Huh, your name's Steven? Weird.
I thought it was Clarence.
See you at the party Saturday, Steven.
[Tires squeal] [Indistinct conversations] [Mid-tempo music playing] Steven! What took you so long?! I-I got lost coming up the driveway.
Derrick: Yo, Kev, who invited the 7-year-old, bro? Hey, shut your mouth, Derrick! I thought I told you to go buy more ice! Ugh.
You just come from picture day at school or something? I brought snacks? Wha? Aah! This party is lame enough as it is.
Look at these people.
[Music] This is forgettable.
But not for long.
Every time Stevonnie shows up on the scene, everybody's talking about it.
And when Stevonnie shows up at my party, everyone's gonna be talking about this night until they're old grandparents, and their last words to their grandchildren will be, "Kevin throws the best parties.
" [Chuckles nervously] Um [Camera shutter clicks] Lion?! Wait, you're the one who had him the whole time?! What? Ugh! No, I'm allergic to dogs.
Then what's he doing here? [Gasps] [Music] - Connie! - Hey! I haven't seen her in so long.
She looks so different.
Ugh! I thought she'd be here to see me, but maybe she's just here to have a good time.
Maybe she's moved on.
She's moved on? Wait, did you guys break up? Can 7-year-olds even do that? I'm 14.
You didn't tell me you guys broke up.
You got a free ticket to what would have been the best teen party in Delmarva.
But now it's just some sad kid party getting crashed by a couple of sad kids! All right, okay.
I'm I'm leaving.
[Inhales] No.
When did this happen? A few weeks ago.
Hmm.
You been texting her? Several dozen times.
[Sighs] She text you back? Um, no.
Hmm, but she knew you'd be here.
Right! Right.
I'll I'll just go talk to her.
[Voice breaking] I'll I'll just go tell her how sorry I am.
I-I really messed up.
[Sniffles] I-I was an idiot! And I Whoa! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Okay, kid, listen.
I wouldn't normally do this because you're a pitiful kid with snot coming out of your nose [Sobs, sniffles] but I need those old people to whisper my name when they die.
And if you don't pull it together, you're gonna regret it.
And it'll be Sabina all over again! Wh Who's [sniffles] Who's Sabina? [Music] You can't just dump your emotional honesty face all over her.
You're gonna freak her out.
[Sniffles] I-I just want us to talk again.
Exactly.
But look what she's doing.
Life is good.
She's got a dog now.
[Sighs] And a haircut.
Right.
But your life is good, too.
You don't need to talk to her, either.
You've got new stuff going on new friends, new shirt.
She gave this to me for my birthday.
Ugh.
Derrick! Gimme your jacket.
Derrick: What? No.
Dude! Aah! - Derrick! Give me the - Come on! Here.
Put this on.
Your friend looks kind of mad, though.
He's not my friend.
Put it on.
Collar up.
Hmm, not quite cool enough.
I got it.
Nice.
It's almost like you have style.
Why do I need the scarf? It's not even cold out.
When you put on a scarf like this, it's always cool.
Let's show her what a great time you're having.
[Music] Hey, kid, you should say hi to Connie.
So I can tell her about my feelings? No.
Be casual.
You're showing her how you have it together.
You're not dying to talk to her because you're not dying at all.
You're living.
Make her want that life with you.
Kevin, that that's kind of moving.
So move already.
Walk over, be cool, and walk away.
Got it.
Okay.
Be cool.
Be cool, yeah.
Be cool.
- Hey! - Hi.
[Coughs] Nice weather you're wearing.
- Uh, I got your texts.
- Oh, yeah.
I forgot about those because I've been living.
Wha? Well, back to my great life.
Uh, chowzers.
[Whimpers] That was terrible! This is all wrong, Kevin! No way.
Look, little man.
Your girl's making her way back for more.
Steven! What is going on?! I came here hoping we could talk, but it seems like you only want to talk to Kevin.
I guess Kevin is your best friend now.
- What? No, no, no! - What? No, no, no! [Sighs] Anyway, I'm glad you're doing well.
That's all I really wanted to know.
No, no! But But you're my best friend! Best friend?! What are you kids even talking about? I thought she was your ex.
Great.
Now what am I gonna do? Think, Kevin.
How do people treat their friends? Connie! Wait, wait, Connie.
Don't go.
Steven, I wasn't trying to ignore you.
I was going to text you back.
I-I wrote, "I can't talk to you right now," but then I realized if I sent it, that would be talking to you.
And it didn't make any sense.
I wasn't making any sense.
If we were going to talk, I thought it's got to be in person.
So I rode Lion to your house, but there was a note that said, "Gone vacationing," and then I ran into Kevin and he said you'd be here, but, uh, maybe this is still too soon.
I-I don't even know what to say to you.
I'm angry.
I miss you.
I feel like I'm out of my mind.
No, you're not.
I surrendered myself to Homeworld.
I let them take me away, maybe forever, and then I came back and I tried to act like it was no big deal.
But it was a big deal.
I couldn't stand the thought of you being taken away on that spaceship, but then I did that to you.
I promised you we'd always be a team, and I let you down.
I'm sorry.
Jam buds? Jam buds.
It's so good to talk to you.
I've been wanting to see you so bad I accepted a party invitation from Kevin.
[Chuckles] I know.
I took his advice.
[Chuckles] I think he got is heart broken.
I-It's actually really sad.
[Chuckles] Of course he did.
- [Chuckles] Hey, nice shirt.
- Nice hair.
[Chuckles] Thank you.
All right! Hey, everybody, are you having fun? Together: Yeah! Liars! You're all so fake.
You make me sick.
But get ready.
I'm gonna introduce you to somebody so real you'll all feel as sick as me! This party starts now! Children! Go! [Music] It's pretty late.
We should head out.
Thanks for all your help, Kevin.
What? [Microphone thuds] You got to do the thing.
What did I help you for if you're not gonna elevate my party? Wha? Hey! Don't you walk away from [Water splashes] [Gasping] [Derrick laughs] Shut up, Derrick! If it helps, Kevin, I think you threw a very nice party.
Mm-hmm.
Good night! [Roars] No! Wait! [Partygoers cheering] [Groans] [Pop!]