Strays (2021) s01e08 Episode Script

1
What tidings hath you,
my good messenger?
Sorry, wrong apartment.
Nope, I ordered the pizza.
I was just doing a little role play.
Yeah, we're not that kind of service.
No, thanks, I know.
'Kay. Have a good one.
You too, ma'am.
Uh, wait, did you just call me ma'am?
Yeah, it's in our manual.
Anyone over a certain age gets a
"Sir" or a "Ma'am."
Okay, on the one hand, I get it.
To you, I must seem pretty worldly.
I mean, what are you, 20? 21?
Come on, who is 17 anymore? Well
When I was your age,
I thought 30 was old too,
but you know what they say,
30 is the new 20.
And I'm 31, which is basically 21,
which is almost as old as you
Uh, I should get going, ma'am
Say it again. I dare you!
I am so sorry. It has been a day.
Here's 20.
And let's just forget this whole thing.
Oh, wow.
Wait, so the purple is a 10
and the blues are fives, right?
Actually,
there's an app that you could just
Enjoy your Mega-Meatza!
I'm taking some for lunch!
I'll let you know when the
whitefish puree comes in.
- See ya.
- Thanks, Deb.
So another great week for adoptions!
Sheldon found a sweet home with
a family in Ajax. Yay, Sheldon!
Is that that perv budgie
who mated with his daughter?
They were close, and it's not uncommon,
but yes, he mated with his daughters.
- Plural?
- I, for one,
am thrilled to see him gone.
Hey, Joy Toy, can
we skip the screen time
during morning meeting?
Uh, yeah, of course. I
wasn't. Good morning.
Also, as Deb mentioned,
we're running low
on whitefish cat purée,
so please don't overfill the bowls.
Deb's not back 'til Thursday.
Better pick up the leashes and toys
Make way for Grizzly Feet.
I-I don't know what you're implying,
but I'm not a fan of name-calling.
You call me K-Dawg.
And you just called me Joy Toy.
Oh, so now you're paying attention?
I'm okay with nicknames.
Name-calling was a rite
of passage when I was
In jail? Tell one story
that isn't about jail, Paul.
Actually, I was on a basketball team.
A basketball team in
Yeah, jail, okay?
Thank you so much for holding
Uh, and other times,
you've called me, uh,
Joy De Vivre, Ode to Joy,
Joy to the World,
Comfort and Joy, and
But those are friendly
names because we're friends.
What Nikki said could be hurtful.
You know what else is hurtful?
Getting stepped on by Deb's big boats.
Yeah, I borrowed her skates last year
and I had to wear my shoes inside them.
Well, youse guys all got small feet.
- Paul!
- What?
Petite feet run in her family.
My best to Choon-Hee, by the way.
Okay, I'm just saying if Deb
was still here, would you say,
"Hey there, Bigfoot?"
Shannon's right, her feet are big.
No, I-I never said that.
You don't agree Deb has huge hooves?
Deb's feet are not for me,
or anyone else, to comment on.
It's a fact. Like Max is gangly.
No, you can't say that.
What about "Joy has straight hair"?
Well
It's true. Straight Asian hair.
Oh my God. Okay, please, none of that.
Listen, I don't want to be the bad cop,
but we have to open our eyes
to the harm we're doing,
and I am putting my foot down.
Better your foot than Deb's.
A girl just had a complete meltdown
because I gave her dog a needle.
It took everything I had
not to stick her with it.
I know that's wrong. Oh, sorry.
It's okay. I'm on hold with MIX86!
I don't really listen to Top 40.
More of a jazz fan.
Yeah, I don't think
they make that anymore.
And Jamal and Marcy are
so funny in the mornings.
What are you on hold for?
I'm trying to win a trip for
a Caribbean Singles' Cruise.
I was on hold all
through the staff meeting,
but no one noticed.
Seriously?
Yeah. Shannon's a bit naive.
No, I mean about the cruise.
Open-water nightmare.
Um, not this one! It's for singles
who enjoy two-and-a-half
star dining and karaoke.
Like maybe my soulmate?
Sure.
Ooh! And get this, there's
aquafit with dolphins.
And an actual nightclub on board.
Plus,
the cruise operates under Maritime Law,
so anything can happen.
Pirates could take over the ship and
Oh, my gosh!
What if my soulmate is a pirate?
Aww, so romantic.
I prefer trips with a bit more culture.
When I was 23, I toured all over Europe.
Sounds terrifying.
Canals, cobblestones,
the architecture That's romantic.
Yeah, buildings don't sound romantic.
No. The Romantic Era.
Oh, my gosh, I had way too much coffee.
I can't be that person who
answers Jamal in the bathroom.
- Would you mind?
- Oh.
I'll be so quick.
Sure.
Oh! Um, Joy?
The phone is ringing.
Is it Jamal? Just answer it!
Hello?
What did they say?
They hung up.
Am I still on hold?
I think so.
Hello, this is Jamal,
and you're on the air with MIX86.
Oh my God!
Jamal, I'm not in the
bathroom, I'm here!
You ready
Jamal? Jamal?!
What did you do?
Sorry.
Fergus! What brings you by?
- Uh, you.
- Oh, wow!
I guess I could take a break
if you wanted to hang, or
Hand me the goods, Fergie.
Right! Takeout Tuesday. Duh.
Small order this week.
Did you not get everyone's
order before you called?
It was all so complicated!
"I'm allergic to tempeh."
"Hold the pine nuts." Blah, blah.
I did Fergie a favour.
Well, maybe a thank you for Fergus.
More like "You're welcome."
I tried.
Uh, I have a buffalo
wrap from a catering job.
It's a few hours old,
but yours if you want.
God, thank you! I'm
running on stress fumes.
Rough day?
Just staff stuff. But
you probably get it.
You seem very chill
managing a bar and Nikki.
We mostly work around her.
But I believe that change starts with U.
Right. And I am trying my best
No, I mean "U" as in understanding.
It's all part of a healthy workplace,
or UNDIES.
Uh, what?
Understanding Non-Derogatory Intentions
in an Equitable Society.
Wow. That's good.
I'm always happy to offer my services.
Thanks,
we are very snack-motivated around here.
No, I mean, uh, as a workshop leader.
I actually have a masters in mediation.
I'm trained in anti-oppression,
privilege awareness, gender bias.
Wow, that's ah-mah-zing.
Here is my card.
My rate is competitive,
and I offer a discount.
Aww, for friends?
No, um, groups.
I have a group rate.
And you should probably eat that soon.
It's not getting any younger.
Don't I know it.
Not the "Not getting any younger part."
I mean, I'm not. But
No, on it.
- Eating it.
- Yeah.
Joy, I wanted to apologize
again for what happened earlier.
It's okay, it's just a contest.
It's not going to change anyone's life.
Except the next caller who got through.
Joy, anger is stored in the liver.
And a compromised liver can
lead to jaundice and chronic fatigue.
I don't want that to happen to you.
I guess you can buy me a drink.
Tomorrow is, um,
two-for-one highballs at Moxie's
and I know one of the bar-backs.
He gave me a napkin for my gum once.
Yeah, I don't really do Moxie's,
but what about this? Joy, sit.
What if, instead of a cruise,
I could get you to Europe?
Oh, my gosh. Wow.
But I can't really afford that.
You can use my points.
You get a trip and I maintain
my Silver Elite status.
It will basically get you
to Dusseldorf for free.
Um, you know, that sounds like
Honestly, babe, don't mention it.
But you're welcome.
Babe?
I'm just gonna text
my friend in Frankfurt.
He used to be a drug dealer,
now he runs a gasthaus.
The two aren't mutually exclusive,
but do you do drugs?
Ah, no.
That's fine. It's a very nice gasthaus.
And what's the biggest
backpack that you own?
Uh
I have a 70-litre you can borrow.
- For what?
- Backpacking.
I have a suitcase.
Don't be a conformist. I
have to carry everything?
It's great cardio.
Oh and book this train ticket.
What train ticket?
To get you to the airport in Geneva.
It's only $50. Joy, hit confirm.
It says it wants my credit card.
But they don't charge you for the
first 24 hours. Hit confirm.
Oh, it says it's charging me.
And you're going to Europe.
I'm so glad we dealt with this.
Uh, yeah, it's definitely charging me.
So, I'll check in on
the faulty cat carriers.
Oh, and I know we low-key hate them,
but Pet Bargain asked
if we can link to their
Pet Pics with Santa event.
Yeah, heard they got
a gay Santa this year.
Calls himself "Santay."
People are very excited.
Sounds progressive.
I'm actually a little bit worried
about the work culture here.
Look, the exit signs have
to be in English and French.
No. It's not that.
I just think the staff here is
a little bit behind the times.
You can't expect much.
You know what we pay them.
I just mean, it's a new world.
We might need to enlighten the staff
with some big-city perspective.
You know Hamilton's a city, right?
A big one.
Of course, but you can't ignore the fact
that some of the people here
are a little bit out of touch.
I am not gonna name names.
- Paul?
- All of them! Anyway.
I know this guy.
He's really great, very sensitive.
I could ask him to do a pro-inclusion,
anti-stereotype,
non-defamatory workshop.
What does that even mean?
See? We all have so much to learn.
Is he legit?
Well, obviously his credentials
are very impressive.
I believe he said that
he mastered meditation?
Uh-huh.
Okay, I didn't catch all of it,
but obviously he knows
what he's talking about.
He is the founder of UNDIES.
That doesn't sound true.
Okay, I'm not saying this right,
but trust me, we need this guy badly.
Well, I think we're doing fine as is.
I mean, if you want to put up
some anti-bullying posters,
great, but let's not overthink this.
Ooh! Or we could even
institute theme days,
like "WE Wednesdays" or"
Suffrage Saturdays?"
Sometimes more is too much.
Hmm "Bullying is whack.
Get on the right track."
Mm-hm.
"It's all right to be polite." Aww.
Just some good reminders,
guidelines for growth,
printed by moi, growth enthusiast.
I hear that.
Time to grow up and stop being a baby
because babies don't have soulmates.
- What?
- Or do they?
Joy, did someone call you a baby?
Not exactly.
Because that's not
okay. You can tell me.
It's nothing. It's just Lara's
planning a trip for me
- Oh no.
- I know.
It sounds terrible.
What is wrong with you?
You're right. I am a baby.
Honestly, Deb is a human being.
Yes, she has hogs for dogs,
but you're a beautiful
soul and monster feet
can never take that away!
- Whoa.
- Anyway,
that's what my partner, Jen, looks like
after synchro practice.
Jen gets jelly legs.
- Ah.
- Jelly Legs Jen, I call her.
Love synchronized swimming.
Dance of the water.
Does Jen compete, or
I'll leave the invoices on your desk
if my monster feet don't get in the way.
Whoa!
No judgment if they do.
I saw something. Who do I say it to?
- It was a misunderstanding.
- Yvette from the board
keeps calling.
Apparently, she's friends with Deb
and says her partner
is a wonderful swimmer.
I didn't know that
Deb was telling a story.
Well, now the board
thinks we need a seminar
for the staff that
they insist I oversee.
What's the name of your
anti-dictatorship guy?
Fergus? Pfft. He doesn't need to know.
I mean, why bring him
in when I have you?
- Sorry?
- Who better than you to teach me about
inclusion and unconscious bias?
And why's that?
Because you're you, and I'm me and
And you have seen things
and you've heard
things because you're
Mm-hm?
I'm reading a book about
power and privilege,
and I know that you're
Yeah?
You're handsome.
Wow. I I'm gonna need Fergus' number.
It would be my
privilege to give it to you.
Okay.
Oh! "UNDIES."
- Yeah.
- That's real.
- Hey!
- Hey.
I'm a bottom bunk man, myself.
You're redoing your bedroom?
No. It's a hostel.
And it sleeps eight to a room.
Ugh. How many people
have used those sheets?
Well, at a hostel you bring your own.
Oh, great. Now I need
to get travel sheets
along with a neck wallet.
It's not so bad.
Please, Paul! This is a nightmare!
I mean, then again,
maybe I will meet Ethan
Hawke and fall in love.
Or have a threesome and
get arrested for murder.
That's all I really know about Europe.
Which reminds me of
a camping trip I took.
Did you grow as a person?
I guess. You know, my dad
was never really around much.
Broken home?
- No, he was working.
- Like, heists?
He was a high school principal. Oh.
But he would take us out
and he'd catch a fish
and then undercook it and we'd be sick
and freezing in our sleeping bags.
To this day, I can't vomit
without thinking about him.
It's just,
Lara's given me her travel points.
She even sat beside me at lunch
today and she never does that.
She mostly talked
about herself, but to me!
Well, keep your mouth
shut and go to Europe.
Or tell Lara the truth
and have her never talk to you again.
It's up to you.
How do you say "I'm scared" in Polish?
I don't know,
but I don't think we can
say those jokes anymore.
It's still best to avoid
ableist statements.
Now, let's move on to the four
most common types of hostility.
Sorry, I was making reservations
at a Bosnian Burger King.
What did I miss?
Boobety-boobety. That's what I heard.
Nikki.
Welcome. I'm Fergus. He/him.
Bar manager, singer-songwriter,
mediation manager and conflict coach.
Those last two sound the same.
Kristian! No need to explain your truth.
That's okay. It's a great talking point.
Great talking point, Kristian.
Conflict resolution
is a set of techniques
used to resolve conflict with
or without a third party.
Mediation just means a third party
helping resolve any issue.
Beautiful. Keep your pants on.
I'm just saying it's a good explanation.
You nailed it!
Thanks.
But actually, we should avoid phrases
like "nailed it" or "slayed it."
They imply violence
and can be triggering.
So can the word
"trigger." Oh, sweet Jesus.
Oh! Religious slights
also fall into the category
of microaggressions.
Sorry, you're telling me
about microaggressions?
Just something to be aware of.
So that's a nano no-no?
I wouldn't put it like that.
Right. Nano no-no noted.
Seriously, Ross.
Now, speaking of hostility,
I understand Shannon
openly mocked an employee?
- Not exactly.
- She made fun of her feet.
In front of everyone.
I was just trying to
fight for a fallen friend
before checking to see if the
friend had actually fallen
and I am sorry.
Good. You're starting your journey.
Oh.
You see, calling Deb's
feet large was disrespectful.
But by acknowledging it,
Shannon took a step towards change.
Would anyone else like to
take a step with Shannon?
Okay, I have to stop you there.
I know we want a respectful workplace,
but we also want a workplace
where we actually work.
So, I don't mean to
macro-pressure you, or whatever,
but we need to wrap
this up in, like, ten
so we can get back to it.
But we still all have a
lot to learn from Fergus.
Oh, I get it, I just don't think
we need to keep drinking his Kool-Aid.
Oh, wow.
That's a statement that
we might want to unpack.
Ah, right. Yeah.
We can't say that anymore because
Sorry,
can you remind me why we can't say that?
Because the Kool-Aid
Man expresses violence,
breaking through walls.
They serve it at church,
but I don't approve.
No, no,
the Kool-Aid comes from that cult guy,
- Jim Henson.
- Jim Jones.
Jim Henson made the puppets
that are offensive now.
See? And they did everything
that Jim told them to do.
The Muppets?
Oh my God. This is so stupid!
Okay, I think we're all
getting a little off track.
Let's just remember why we're here.
Because you said Deb had hogs for dogs.
You made fun of them first!
I only said it 'cause I thought
you were gonna say it again!
Okay, ladies, ladies. Calm down.
- Oh!
- Wow! Okay.
Whoa, there, Fergie.
No coming back from that.
No, I'm so I'm so sorry.
I am I am still very
much on my journey.
And it is time to
journey on out of here.
I'm still getting paid
for the hour, right?
I already e-Transferred you.
Password is UNDIES.
- Oh, Ross.
- What?
No.
Good news! Spoke to Jürgen.
Who?
Düsseldorf Jürgen,
who runs the Havenbound Hostel?
He's willing to let you
stay at the hostel for free
if you work at the vegan cafe.
Working on vacation? Fun!
You don't get that on a cruise.
No, you would get a staph infection.
And don't worry about hostel living.
I bought you pepper spray.
It's lemon scented.
It's a gift.
You don't have to pay me for it.
Though it wasn't cheap.
I bought you the expensive kind.
You can't tell from the packaging,
but the quality
Okay, look! I don't
want to go to Europe!
All right? I don't want to
tape my passport to my stomach
or figure out how many rubles
it takes to buy white strips.
But you said you wanted this.
Ah, no! You did!
You took control of my decisions
and made me feel special
and turned me into a day labourer!
I don't think that's true.
The whole point of a
vacation is to relax, alright?
So you can take your
land-walking torture trip
and you can just shove it!
I'm so sorry.
It's okay. I didn't want to
owe Jürgen a favour anyway.
Great.
But we're still on for Moxie's, right?
I'll text you babe.
So Ross, what did we learn?
That it's not cool to talk
like the Swedish Muppet.
Not when you're apologizing.
I know.
I need to set a better example as a boss
and as a person.
You know, when I
started building condos,
I made a lot of mistakes.
Because I only saw the
buildings from my perspective,
a way to make profit.
So, I cut corners and regulations
and people's feelings got hurt.
But just their feelings, right?
Point is, through a series of
lawsuits and sealed testimonies,
I got to learn about other
people's points of view.
And now I think about them every
time I design a new building.
And you don't screw up anymore.
Well, I'm making an effort.
As required by law.
Then, hopefully,
we can see today as a good thing.
We can try. To better buildings.
I'm still unclear if
there were any casualties.
- Cheers.
- Santé.
Joy! Wait!
Is Moxie's back on?
MIX86 is giving away
more cruise tickets.
No! Really?
Hey this is MIX86. Please stand by.
You really didn't have to do this.
I did. Europe was my thing.
Your thing is boat vacations
with people who love soap
operas and play pickleball.
Hi, we're on the air with Joy.
Oh my God! Jamal just said my name.
Joy, to win an all-inclusive
five-day love cruise getaway,
answer the following question:
according to a recent
survey in Time Magazine,
what is the most
romantic building on earth?
- I know this.
- Me, too!
It's the Royal Pavilion in Brighton!
Oh! What?! Ooh, I'm sorry, Joy.
We were looking for the Eiffel Tower.
That's not even from the right era.
Thanks for playing! Next caller.
Brighton? Where the hell is Brighton?!
It's home to literally
the most famous symbol
of the Romantic Period.
Well, except for maybe
the Palace of Westminster.
Are you serious right now?
Or I could buy you a cruise ticket?
Cabin by the waterslide would be great.
Hey, Deb-Deb!
Shannon Shannon.
Heading out?
Ah, looks like it.
Plans tonight? Hanging with bae?
No. She has synchro.
Of course. Ah, the dogs love
the new Bully Sticks, B-T-dubs.
Bunch of bully lovers.
The sticks not actual bullies.
Not that there are any
bullies around here.
I disagree.
But you know, when nice people
display bully-ish behaviour,
it's usually sometimes because
they've been hurt themselves.
I was talking about Greta and Spike,
but go on.
I didn't mean to say what I said,
but the truth is,
someone once told me that I had
"hogs for dogs."
- That's
- Horrible, I know.
And I didn't deserve it,
especially from my dance partner
at Charleston Regionals, Joey McGulley.
He hadn't hit puberty and
I think he was lashing out.
The Charleston's a dance.
Yeah, I'm aware.
I just hope we can move past this.
'Kay. Um, I'll see you next week.
And, uh, this is for you.
No-slip all-terrain water shoes.
I got a pair after my incident,
and it made a huge diff.
Thank you. But, um I'm a size 14.
Oh my God!
Ah, well, I'll just get the
receipt out of the garbage.