Sugar Rush s02e07 Episode Script

'When Sugar's latest boyfriend dumped her' Dmitri.
Turns out he's a bastard like the rest of them.
'.
.
she got revenge by stealing his wallet and going on a spending spree.
'Somehow, l can't see a dodgy wannabe gangster 'letting her get away with that.
' One way or another I'm gonna find ya I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha One way or another I'm gonna win ya I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha One way or another I'm gonna see ya I'm gonna meetcha meetcha meetcha meetcha One day, maybe next week I'm gonna meetcha, I'm gonna meetcha, I'll meetcha I will drive past your house I'll see who's around 'ln France, ''crime of passion'' is a legitimate defence.
' No pants, huh? 'Sadly, this is England.
' She was sleeping with another woman.
'OK, so technically we weren't together'.
We will be asking Ms Saint if she requires a restraining order.
lf she wanted to restrain me, which, believe me, l wish she would, l don't think she'd need your help.
'l had a whole night in the cell to ''consider my actions''.
'Prison wasn't the hotbed of lesbian lust l'd hoped it might be.
' COCKEREL CROWS This hasn't changed anything.
l'm not a reformed character.
l'd still do it again.
Would you? I'm walkin' out the back door Leavin' cos I don't know Why the weight of the world is on me l persuaded her to drop the charges.
Thanks.
Her eye was a right mess.
l'm sorry.
Did you mean what you said in there about doing it again? No, course not.
You don't have to worry about me any more.
That's a shame.
Nobody's ever punched anyone for me before.
Dreamin', dreamin', dreamin', dreamin' I'm fallin' in love again ldiot! Get in the car.
I'm fallin' in love again PHONE BEEPS 'l may have done my time, but Sugar was still paying for her crime.
' Flick and Kenny will be round for dinner at eight.
'My parents still had their guilty secret.
' Dinner? Does Kim know about that? Does Kim know why my red G-string's missing? < Yes, she does actually.
l told him it was best to be open and honest.
Great.
l can be closed and devious.
At a price.
PHONE BEEPS And she bled all over my floor.
Well, what kind of corny line is, ''l'm not wearing any pants''? l've used that before.
Oh, yeah? Listen, do you want to come in? Breakfast with the parents? All right, then.
Where have you been? Can't you tell us if you're going to be out all night? l'm sorry, she was at my place.
lt won't happen again.
So you two are back together, then? Yeah.
Yeah, we are.
'l was braced for Sugar's reaction, biting, kicking, screaming, 'all the usual stuff.
' lt's, um, cool.
You know, you two have been through a lot together.
Yeah.
l hope it works this time.
Me too.
Who? Look l'm sorry, but l can't understand a word you were saying.
Well, that's just charming.
You can tell her yourself .
.
if she was here.
Which she isn't.
Bye.
How did he get the house phone? l dunno.
He says he's gonna come over to see you later.
PHONE BEEPS 'ln this country there are no crimes of passion, but there are laws against stalking' Duty calls.
'.
.
Laws which l broke all the time.
' l thought we were gonna do something.
lt's Saturday, our busiest day.
l'll open up for you.
Well, l kind of owe you one.
Could do with getting out of the house.
Cash would come in handy.
No.
No, it's fine.
l've gotta go in.
Look, l do have retail experience.
Why do l feel uneasy about this? She'll be fine.
She really wants to make amends.
'l had to admit, it was an unlikely scenario.
' 'A homophobic hetero running a gay sex shop.
' 'But sometimes it does you good to broaden your horizons'.
Ugh! 'Open your mind to new experiences'.
Benders of Brighton ''Lesbi'' having ya.
Oh, mind the dog shit.
'A change is as good as a rest.
' Things haven't gone very well, have they? l've been a bit jealous, and more than a bit paranoid.
lt wasn't all your fault.
l should've told you how l felt about you.
l think l messed with your head a bit.
You do know how l feel about you, don't you? What? Oh, don't make me say it.
When l first met you, l thought you were this painfully cool and sorted person.
You're a big fat coward, really.
lt's pathetic.
OK, l love you.
Excuse me? l love you.
l'm in love with you! Good.
Pass us the cheese.
'Honesty really is the best policy'.
Are you a friend of Saint's? Sort of.
Well, yeah, a friend.
Not a lover.
l'm no lezza.
Not that there's anything wrong with bumping muff.
lt's just, l like men.
Fuck knows why, cos they're all shits.
But women can be crap too.
l mean, they're all bitches.
How can you have sex worrying about whose arse looks bigger? 'lf we know where we stand, then no-one can get hurt.
' So, from now on, we're gonna be honest with each other.
l promise.
And if l'm worried about something, l'll tell you.
Are you worried about something? Only getting caught out here whilst l'm stripping you naked.
Unless, of course, you don't want to.
Well, in this new-found spirit of openness and understanding, l don't want to.
What did l justsay? 'One person's antisocial behaviour is another's pleasure'.
l want you naked! 'Sugar seemed to be providing everyone else with a bit of fun, 'but getting none herself.
' PHONE BEEPS Would you like batteries with that? lt's mains-operated.
Oh.
Well, don't go plugging it into the light switch, or you'll blow your insides out.
PHONE BEEPS Why can't you just leave me the fuck alone? PHONE BEEPS (Sugar) 'What?' So l've been thinking, what do you feel about weddings? And we're gonna have to talk about who's going to have the children.
l know it's quick, but l am a bit older than you.
Yeah, of course.
And l can't afford to wait that long, or the cream might go off.
l haven't really thought about it.
Not that l won't think about it, butwhat might go off? Bitch! 'This was probably the only occasion where a minor case of GBH 'had done a relationship good'.
- l hope Sugar's all right.
- Maybe the experience has turned her.
'For once, it seemed like everything was sorted.
' What time is it? About 2.
30, l think.
Sugar? Oi, slapper? 'Crimes of passion come in more than one guise.
'There are some people you'll do anything for, 'no matter how wrong it seems.
' How much was in there? A lot.
All the week's takings, plus the rent.
l knew l never should've trusted her.
- l'm sure there's a reasonable explanation.
- Yeah? Like what? Fancy seeing you here.
- Are you going to introduce me? - Dmitri, this is Saint.
Hello.
l am her very on/off, current lover.
We're old friends.
l'm gonna kill her.
l can't believe l've waited this long.
You seem to be doing all right since the last time l saw you.
- Oh, well, you know - Would you like a glass? No, l won't interrupt.
Don't be so English.
Any friend of Sugar's is a friend of mine.
Yeah, OK then.
PHONE RlNGS Hello? Not now, Stella Right.
Thanks.
Where is she? Look, l really think we should give her the benefit of the doubt.
All that bullshit about being glad we were back together.
- You were planning this from the start.
- Oh, yeah, course(!) Sugar, that shop is my entire life.
lf l don't get the rent in by tomorrow, l'm fucked.
Yeah, it wasn't my fault! l was trying to do the right thing.
And l sold loads of bloody dildos.
What happened? lt's Dmitri.
He wanted back the money back that l nicked.
- l was gonna give him everything l earned.
- l want to call the police.
No! No.
He said he'd grass me up.
And l haven't exactly been complying with the terms of my parole.
Kim, l can't go back inside.
There must be another way.
And then she got caught by Wendy the lesbo prison guard frigging Kelly in the cell! What were you in for? Extortion.
l think that is when you put your legs behind your head.
No, darling, that's contortion.
Ah.
l can do that as well.
Oh, Dmitri, l'm so sorry.
She's used to drinking lager tops, ain't ya? Well, baby, at least it's only plastic.
'My therapist may have waffled on about forgiveness.
'But she didn't tell me about the wonders of revenge.
' What are you hiding for? - He's not gonna to come in here, you twat.
- Sorry, l was a bit nervous.
Look, you'll be fine.
Just imagine we're Charlie's Angels.
Saint's the ugly one.
Do you know what you're doing? Shoe box in the wardrobe.
OK.
You've got an hour.
Why? ls he coming home after that? No, but if l have to spend any more time with him or her, l will kill them both.
One hour! 'Ever since l could remember, l'd wanted to be a gangster.
' Another bottle, ladies? 'Picking up women by day 'Dropping them off by night.
' So, don't go away, my lovelies.
Oh.
Please tell me he has one single redeeming feature.
You wouldn't know what to do with it.
'People say that crime doesn't pay.
'But breaking the law had got me my Saint 'and clearly got Dmitri a luxury shag pad.
' Dmitri said you wanted to settle up.
'lt was always Sugar who got the rough end of the stick.
' - Said he'd see you some other time.
- The slimy bastard! Shit.
Shit is right! How much?! Sugar, that's the least of our problems.
Oh.
'This is what is commonly known in the trade as ''being shafted'', 'a strangely familiar feeling.
' - 'Kim?' - Men are so gross.
- Listen, Dmitri's on his way home.
- What? l haven't got it yet.
- Move your arse, girl! - Hang on a minute.
l'm not gonna visit you if he puts you in a shallow grave, all right? Shoe box in the wardrobe.
Oh, great(!) Bingo.
TYRES SCREECH - Shit! - What, what is it? Kim? Kim? Kim? 'lt was supposed to be the perfect crime.
'But even the best laid plans can go horribly wrong.
' DOG BARKlNG What is wrong with you, huh? Why did you nick his money? To try and show Kim a good time, because she was so upset over you.
HE FARTS DOOR BUZZER 'Oi, wanker! l've got a bar bill here for you to pick up.
' l don't think that's gonna work.
Oh.
You got any better ideas? BUZZER You better let me up, or l'm gonna tell the whole neighbourhood about you and your miniscule dick.
That ought to sort him out.
l will tell them about your baggy fanny.
Shift it.
Come on.
Dmitri? Hi, um, that's not the real reason we came around.
And the money it's not really important, is it? lt's just that, well we kind of had other plans.
For all three of us.
Are you crazy? Come on, lover.
l am not doing that with you! You don't have to do anything.
Besides, whatever you do, you're doing it for Kim, not for me.
So, is this where all the magic happens? - Have we got the whole place to ourselves? - Of course.
Unless you want to meet Nancy? - Nancy? - His dog.
Maybe later.
Can l get you ladies a drink? Make mine a large one.
lt's strange, Sugar, l never thought you'd be into this kind of thing.
Yeah, of course l am.
Why else would l be here? lt can get really lonely in prison, you know.
So, tell me what you got up to.
Fuck! .
.
Me, Dmitri, this is a really comfortable bed.
ls it king size? Three-people size.
lt is more than big enough for all of us.
'l think it's fair to say it was one of those nights.
'lt's those formative experiences that really stick with you.
'Like the first time you're forced to listen to the sound 'of your girlfriend getting off with your best mate.
' (Dmitri) Hey, don't l get to touch you? You get to watch.
What more do you want, lover? Actually, l've got an even better idea.
No! l want to see something.
lf l don't get to see something, you can undo my hands and go away.
l thought you said we didn't actually have to do anything.
Sorry, Sugar.
l didn't think we were gonna.
Do you know anything about men? Whooh! Ladies, this is the best night of my life.
You two didn't actually enjoy it, did you? Oh, yeah, that's really my idea of a good time(!) l wanna do it every week.
Do you? Kizza, you're nuts! Ladies? ls it my turn now? Friends? Friends.
Where are you? Why is it taking so long? Don't worry, lover.
l'm coming right now.
.
.
Wanna hold you Wanna have you Wanna touch you Gonna rock you Never ever gonna stop, yeah .
.
Lookin' for Mr Right now l'm waiting for you.
Oh, yeah.
Oh! Hello, girls.
'l contemplated the negativity of my emotions.
'l would never commit a crime of passion again.
'Well, probably never'.
What? 'l mean, l wouldn't swear an oath or anything.
' Wanna touch you Gonna rock you Never ever gonna stop, yeah Never ever gonna stop, yeah Yeah.