Supernatural s09e15 Episode Script

#thinman

Ed and Harry -- the Ghostfacers.
What the hell are you doing here? Uh, we belong here.
We're professionals.
Professional what? Paranormal investigators.
This stuff right here -- this is our ticket to the big time -- Fame, money, sex with girls.
We are family.
Everything that has ever gone wrong between us has been because we're family.
So, what? We're not family now? I'm saying you want to work, let's work.
You said that you wanted to keep things strictly business.
I wanted to keep things strictly business between us.
About what you said the other day I thought it didn't bother you.
I may not think things all the way through, but what I do, I do because it's the right thing.
You didn't save me for me.
You did it for you.
House is a hotel I won't stay long I'd rather be at church unless the holy water works I won't come around anymore Mom? Mom, are you home? Set fire to your worries let fear burn to the ground When the storms are rolling in and you're filled up to the brim they won't come around anymore What is your emergency? There's someone in my room.
What is your location? Can you give us a location, ma'am? Are you still there? Ma'am, please do not hang up.
I've begun tracing your call, but I need you to stay on the line for me.
Stay on the line.
We'll send out an officer All right.
I'll be back.
Wait.
Where you headed? Washington.
I caught a case.
You want me to come with? Do you want to come? On a hunt? Why wouldn't I? I don't know, man.
'Cause lately with you, up is down and down is sideways, you know? I-I -- I don't know what you want.
Okay.
You want in? Fine.
Sure thing.
Photo leaked from the crime scene.
Girl was murdered in her room, doors were locked, the windows were locked.
Who's the wallflower? Exactly.
Best guest -- ghost caught on film.
So, you're coming.
Does it look like I'm staying? I scrubbed for hours.
I'll have to rip up the carpet.
My daughter, Casey She picked out the color herself.
We'revery sorry for your loss, Mrs.
Miles.
You mentioned Casey had no known enemies.
What about at home? Anything unusual you may have noticed? UhElectricity acting up or lightsflickering, TV on the Fritz? No, no fritzing.
No cold spots, either.
Sorry.
Out of curiosity, uh Why do you mention cold spots? I'm sorry.
That must sound strange, but it's been three days since And the police have found nothing.
I'd h-- I'd have to sell my house to afford a private investigator, so when the Supernaturalists called -- Whoa, uh, sorry, the Um Supernaturalists? I know to the FBI it's not exactly orthodox.
But these men had answers that no one else had, and I -- I owe it to Casey to listen.
Now, they -- they brought up cold spots in relation to? Signs of the paranormal, I suppose.
They're coming by today to take a look.
And did these Supernaturalists give you a name? Ghostfacers Son of a bitch.
Oh, wow, look.
We got two more followers.
Mm.
Yeah.
Harry, I think it's from that library interview we did.
Nice.
Hey, pal.
Hmm? What did Dana post? No, it's just -- she changed her profile pic, and it's cropped, but you can clearly see a guy's arm around her.
And she's smiling like the dickens.
Yeah.
Uh, it -- it could a platonic arm that's touching her.
Ah, the Winchesters.
Yay.
Says nobody.
Ever.
All right, shut up and listen.
This is how it's gonna go.
You two clowns are gonna get into that mystery machine outside, and you're gonna leave town or I'm gonna put holes in your knees.
Can I get you guys anything? Something, uh Uh, we're ready for the bill.
Hey.
There's still crud on this plate.
Now, hit the sinks and do it right.
Sorry, Trey.
Ahh, first of all, you guys don't scare us.
Not at all.
Say, "hola" to my little pistola.
Am I supposed to be impressed with that treasure trail or the lady gun you got hiding in your, uh, pants there? UhBoth? Look, whether you like it or not, we are handling this situation.
Yup.
Really? Mm-hmm.
'Cause I see a couple of fame whores who are pointing their camera at a mom who just lost her kid.
Guys, we are investigators, and we have every right -- No.
No, you don't.
You know why? 'Cause you're just gonna get in our way.
Or you're gonna get somebody else killed.
That's right.
So, you can either walk out of here or crawl.
Up to you.
Oh, my God, Menudo.
Will you guys relax? We know what we're going.
Yup.
Really? And what about the rest of the Bad News Bears, huh? Where's the -- where's the fat one? And -- and the girl? There was a girl, right? They -- we dropped them.
They were -- they were dead weight.
Well, t-they're still alive.
They're -- no, they're totally alive.
I see.
So, it's just the, uh, the dumpy duo, then.
Well, that's great.
So, here's the deal.
A ghost Will land you two dead in five seconds flat.
A ghost? Oh.
They think it's a ghost.
It's so not a ghost.
No.
Okay.
We'll bite.
What do you think it is? Can I -- can I do it this time? You got it.
Okay.
I've waited all my life for this.
Amazon me, bitches.
I will shoot you Bitches.
Like we were saying, you were just going, right? Great.
Good talk.
of way too much protein.
UhDean? Yeah? Ed and Harry wrote a book.
What? Yeah.
Uh, "The Skinny on Thinman", by America's foremost Supernaturalists.
What the hell's a Thinman? I don't know.
Um Whoa.
Check that out, though.
That does kind of look like whatever was behind Casey Miles, right? Or Garth if somebody shaved his face off.
Big whoop.
Here we go.
Uh, "Thinman -- "an urban legend started on the world wide web -- "lurks in the background of his victims' lives until he's ready to kill them.
" Yeah, because everything started on the Internet is true.
Like, uh, oh, the shark attacking a helicopter -- they write the book on that one, too? Dude, real or not, thousands of people have posted to the site.
It's like Thinman is the new Bigfoot or something.
Or Thinman is just a ghost with a brand name.
You saying that 'cause you really think it's a ghost or because you don't like the Ghostfacers? Hey, don't forget -- we hit EMF in Casey's room.
Right, but the house was next door to power lines, which can affect the read.
A girl died in a locked room, Sam -- spells "ghost" right there.
Maybe it got in there before it was locked up.
Who knows, Dean? But how can people all over the world see the same ghost? Spirits don't exactly hop around.
I know that.
But right now, the veil is all kinds of screwed, okay? Ghosts could be popping up anywhere.
Yeah, but, Dean, Thinman sightings date back a couple years.
The veil's only been a problem for, what, the last six months? Well, you know, people still see Elvis all over the damn place.
Look, all I'm saying is those douchewheels ain't experts on crap.
What are you doing? I'm checking the local deaths to see if there's any candidates for ghosts.
The closet -- the setting of the sunset of Casey's life.
Harry.
Yeah.
Come on, man, would you please stop Facebook stalking your ex-girlfriend? I was right.
Hmm.
She changed her relationship status to "it's complicated.
" What does that even mean? Who cares? You broke up with her.
Everything about that girl is complicated.
Okay, I mean, she gets the cream puffs, she tells you to take out the filling.
They're just puffs.
Yeah, that was some pretty messed-up stuff.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, okay.
I'm -- I'm sorry.
Mm.
Okay.
I'm good.
Okay? Back on game.
Yeah.
We're so close to finding Thinman, Ed.
Mm-hmm.
I can smell him.
I can smell his musk.
Mm-hmm.
Closer than ever.
This is really serious, Harry.
Yeah.
I mean, the Winchesters are here, and, you know, I don't want my knees blown off by Sam and Dean.
Have you ever thought that we might just, you know, bail on this? What? What the -- what the hell is wrong with you?! We can't let those jockstraps steal our glory.
No one cares what they think.
They don't even have a Twitter.
We're gonna find Thinman, Ed, for our families, for Dana.
Oh, so, it's about your ex eating her words? It's about making all the haters eat their words.
Maggie and Spruce -- the just -- deserters.
They want to lead a "normal life".
I mean, what is that? Screw them.
Screw them.
Right? When we find Thinman, are they gonna be on "Dr.
Phil".
No.
We're gonna be on "Dr.
Phil.
" Hell, yeah.
Press "record," buddy.
You got it.
Wait for it.
You ready? Yep.
The bedroom of a teenage girl is meant for two things -- giggles and joy.
Until one night, Thinman turned the giggles into blood.
Oh! You are so money right now.
You like that? This is good stuff.
And it's gonna pay off in ladies, Ed -- lots of ladies.
We're gonna need -- we're gonna need snorkels, 'cause we're gonna be swimming around in so much -- Thought you boys might be thirsty.
Please.
That sounds delicious.
Okay.
All right, over the past six months, there have been three unnatural deaths in Springdale, none of them connected to Casey Miles, and none of them violent.
Okay, that's not exactly a recipe for a vengeful spirit.
There have been a bunch of unexplained deaths pinned on Thinman.
Um, a vic dies, then, a couple weeks later, a photo pops up of the vic with Thinman photobombing.
So, Thinman's stalking folks? According to the lore.
According to the idiots.
How come none of these vics pinged our radar? I'm pretty sure the mysterious deaths can be chalked up to non-supernatural causes.
That and, honestly, most of these photos look pretty fake.
Even Casey's? Except Casey's.
Casey's photo wasn't doctored.
Whatever was behind her Was really there.
Okay, well, that doesn't make any sense.
I mean, how could something be both real and fake at the same time? Well, a girl is dead, and that's about as real as it gets.
All right, so, the last thing she did was she took a photo on her phone.
How did that photo end up online? No clue.
It was originally posted to a Thinman fan forum, but the I.
P.
address was blocked.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.
This thing has fans? Of course it does.
Okay, well, then somebody wanted this photo on the Internet, and I'm guessing that the ghost didn't hop online to post it.
Is the, uh, sheriff around? There's a couple questions we'd like to ask him.
Uh, sorry to disappoint.
Sheriff's on a hunting trip.
But, uh, I appreciate you agents being here.
I could use all the help I can get.
Wait a second.
Was this cracked when you found it? Yeah, man.
Maybe she dropped it? went dead at 11:59.
Wait, what time was the photo posted? Around 2:00 a.
m.
But the coroner has the death at midnight.
How could she have posted the photo from her phone? That -- that's impossible.
Orsupernatural.
What? Why would you say that? A couple fellas came by, uh, asking questions about the girl's death, suggested they might be able to help.
They, uh, gave me a book they wrote about, um Thinman? Yeah.
Just Not a fan? Agents, thanks for coming.
What are these two crapshoots doing here? I figured it wouldn't hurt to go a little "medium," you know? Uhtwo counties over, folks were combing the place for a poor little dead boy back in August.
The cops let a psychic do her thing.
Shish, bang, boom -- found a body a day later.
Uh-huh.
Excuse me.
Is there any, uh, security-cam footage.
Uh, yeah, just Hey.
Aah! Aah! I thought I told you to beat it.
Oh, well, what are you gonna do.
You gonna out me, "agent"? Okay, look, playing paparazzi at a crime scene -- who does that help but yourselves? The bloggers, Dean, the believers -- everyone who needs just a little proof to know that Thinman is out there.
Wait, so, you're saying there's a lot of folks online that are pretty die-hard about this thing? Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Uh-huh.
You throw the right Tibetan symbol into the mix, you dumb asses ever think the Thinman comes to life as a Tulpa? Because thousands of people can agree that Thinman is any one thing? The lore changes blog to blog.
He's not a Tulpa.
Okay, all right.
All right.
Right here, right now, cut the crap.
Do either of you actually know what Thinman is? No.
We just play Supernaturalists on TV.
We have no idea what we're doing.
Of course we do.
Thinman, is part man, part tree.
Some people believe that he emerged from the nightmare of an autistic boy.
All right, so you have no idea.
Fellas, you want to see this.
All right, check it out.
- Whoa.
- Whoa.
All right, so, how did he jump from the parking lot to the diner.
The doors were locked? The footage shows Trey locked them 10 minutes before.
Locked, not locked, it doesn't matter.
Everyone knows Thinman can teleport.
I didn't even get a blip on my EMF.
So, maybe it's not a ghost.
You Feds believers now? Okay, uh We're gonna go.
- Uh, good work, deputy, agent.
- Let's go.
Let's go, man.
See it again.
Holy wow.
Someone posted the diner footage of Thinman in the comments section of our blog.
Who? Who cares? Maintain current velocity.
Hey, wh-why are you putting your ninja outfit on? I'm not gonna wait for someone else to die.
I'm gonna find Thinman tonight.
Where? The woods, obvi.
Uh, that's kind of general.
Well, the lore says that Thinman hangs out by trees, and the woods is where trees hang out.
Two kills in town -- local woods is the best bet.
Two people are dead -- really dead.
And I just keep thinking that, you know, maybe Sam and Dean should just take over.
First of all, hell no.
And -- and quit raining on my rainbow.
Rainbows can't happen without rain.
Don't try to use science with me.
This is about a-a feeling.
And we can't quit when we're so close to finding Thinman and finally making up for everything we've lost because ofwhat we do.
Okay, it wouldn't be the worst idea, though, you know, if we leave it to the professionals.
We are the professionals, Ed.
So, the woods? Any woods, Ed.
Any woods.
Okay.
Just grasping at straws here, but when I think "teleport," I think "Crossroads Demon.
" Mm.
Demon that likes to stab and watch YouTube.
Why not? Oh, by the way, speaking of which, the video of, uh, Trey getting knifed -- it's already online.
It has, like, It's like somebody wants people to see Thinman in action.
It's 'cause people will watch, 'cause people are sick.
And when did "viral" go from that baby chimp falling out of a tree to killer "Candid Camera"? You know what video would have gone viral, if we still had it? When you were five and you got dressed up as Batman and you jumped off the shed 'cause you thought you could fly.
After you jumped first.
Hey, I was nine, and I was dressed up like superman, okay? Everybody knows that Batman can't fly.
Well, I didn't know that.
I broke my arm.
I know you did.
Man, I drove you to the E.
R.
on my handlebars.
Well, good times.
Yeah, they were.
Come on in.
I got to tell you guys something important, and then the case is yours.
Harry here, solo Ghostfacer, investigating a possible Thinman habitat in the woods.
All alone, deep in the woods, a man could lose his marbles being so close to the blade of doom.
Lucky for us, I'm really good at marbles.
All right, either you bleed Ghostfacers red or you don't.
If Spruce wanted to start a startup and Maggie's heart was in the roller derby, who am I to stop them? But Harry -- I-I couldn't let him give in to his girl.
I mean, she -- she called the Ghostfacers stupid.
Stupid! Can you -- can you believe that? You know, I-I don't care how much money her daddy's hedge fund has.
I just couldn't watch Harry become a corporate stooge.
Okay, this all sounds like sad times at Bitchmont High.
What does this have to do with the case? Harry was gonna leave, so I needed to give him a reason to stay.
I-I made up Thinman.
Thinman stalks his victims, but the tables have turned, my friends.
The stalker is now the stalkee.
So you're saying that this crap is actually crap? One old photo of a butler, a lot of Photoshop later, and I posted on one of those horror forums under "anonymous".
And it blew up.
Yeah.
I only faked one case for us, and then we're packing up to go home when somebody posted a sighting of Thinman, sowe went after it, and that's how the Thinman became a crowdsourced legend.
Look, we were at the front of it.
It felt like something.
It -- it was so awesome to have a following, and Harry -- he was just -- he was so into it.
Ed, you have to tell him.
You don't get it.
We were the Thinman guys.
Without the Thinman, we're justguys -- just -- we're just puffs.
What? What? If I tell Harry, he's gonna leave the Ghostfacers.
Listen, if you don't tell him, he's gonna leave anyway.
Trust me here.
Secrets ruin relationships.
Okay, well, I'll just tell him when the time is right.
Time's right now, chief.
Well, he's -- he's not here.
Uh, he's -- he's out in the woods, uh, searching for Thinman.
Okay, because Thinman, or whatever the hell this thing is, has killed two people, and now Harry is in the woods alone.
Well, actually, it's more like "wood," um, 'cause I dropped him off by some trees behind a grocery store.
Guys, come on.
He's gonna be fine.
Guys? All right, what we have here is a, uh, -- it's a -- it looks like a formation of sticks in the shape of a pile.
Could have been left here for us by Thinman.
What was that? Oh! Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
We are not alone.
Too tight? Nope.
No, I'm good.
I'm good.
Yeah? I'm good.
All right.
I think I'm just gonna have to staple it when we get back to the motel.
We were right, Ed! Thinman's real.
Yeah.
Some fresh tires tracks back over there.
I took some photos.
What for? Because that car might belong to whoever knifed you.
Well, whoever cut me was Thinman, and Thinman doesn't drive.
It was Thinman, jackass! I mean, I shouldn't have to connect the dots for you guys.
I figured, you know, you're both intelligent, m-maybe.
Um, Harry.
What? Why didn't you tell me that before? Because -- I-I don't know -- I thought you were gonna get mad.
Oh, good guess, Ed.
I am mad.
I'm really, really mad at you right now.
I-I can see that.
You crashed the Jenga Tower of our lives.
I was gonna get married.
I left her to run around with you, living some lie.
Well, at least we were living it together.
Seriously? Seriously? If I hadn't struck gold with Thinman, you'd be doing a boring job, doing boring numbers, answering to Dana's dad.
Okay? I saved you, bud.
Saved me? From what?! From living a nice life? From not getting stabbed? How selfish can you be? Well, maybe it's not too late, you know? You could call her and see.
That's not gonna work.
Well, maybe -- maybe it will.
No, it's not.
You want to know why? 'Cause she's got some guy's arm wrapped around her neck, and it's "complicated", okay? Look, Harry, we didn't know from the start if Thinman was real or not.
I -- okay, look, maybe I had some inside knowledge, okay, but does it really make a difference if we keep it going for the fans? They'll never know.
I'll know.
You made a chump out of me, Ed.
Harry, we can get through this.
We just debunk Thinman and then we go back to Ghostfacers.
I can't.
I can't trust you anymore, Ed.
Oh, come on, Harry.
I get it.
You're pissed, okay? And -- and you don't mean what you say.
But, Harry, just tell me what you need.
I'll go get some coffee, and -- and you can stay here and chill.
Hey.
How did it go? It, um, went, uhUm Hey.
You okay? I just got punched right in the feels.
Um None of it was real, Sam.
Ed was just pretending, and now he wants me to pretend, like this is just something I could get past.
I know what you mean.
Look, there are things you can forgive, and there are things you can't.
So, which one is this? That's something you got to figure out for yourself.
Hey.
Uh I got a bead on those tire treads, if you want to What's up? So, the tires were only made for one kind of car.
It's a 1989 Geo Metro.
Town this small -- there's only one registered here.
Deputy says it belongs to a guy named Roger who works night security down at the mill on the north side of town.
So, this thing teleported, but it has a job and car.
What are we dealing with? Let's go find out.
Oh.
Sam and Dean caught something, so they're gonna clean up your mess.
You're right.
It is my mess.
I should be the one out there cleaning it up.
You'd just make it worse.
Oh, what? You were fine leaving Sam and Dean before.
Why not now? I don't want to be a jellyfish spine anymore, Harry.
Jellyfish don't have spines.
Exactly.
Before the heartache, before the lies, we set out to help people, right? Yeah.
Mostly.
So, there's no reason not to get out there and do what we mostly set out to do.
Harry, I-I can make this right for the both of us.
We can make it right.
Y-you mean you want to come with me? I thought we said my partner and I would take care of this.
Look, guys, my boss is AWOL.
We don't have a warrant.
My ass is on the line if this thing goes sideways.
All right.
Just stay back.
Always wanted to use these things.
So, you're Thinman, huh? That would make sense if it didn't look like you just ate a fat camp.
Oh, God, Sam, make him stop.
Hey, so, what's the deal? What are you, Norwood? You a demon? I mean, how did you teleport back at the diner? Team effort.
So, there was no teleporting -- just a couple of douche bags doing the "scream" thing.
Wait, I know who you are.
You're the busboy from the diner.
So, what, you just wanted to kill your boss? Trey was a dick.
And what about Casey? What did she do? She wouldn't go out with me, so I set her up with someone else -- my knife.
Good one, Rog.
I see the sheriff didn't make it out of town.
Well, he really should have given me the time off I asked for.
So, you killed him?! I didn't kill anyone.
Roger did.
He's the psycho.
I'm the visionary.
I don't blame you for underestimating me.
Everybody does.
Fancy Fed, coming in here, treating me like a paper monkey from the get-go.
But I was Thinman the whole time.
Do you have any idea how good that felt? No, sicko, I can't say that I do.
Yeah, pretty boy doesn't know what it's like to feel invisible -- to grow up in a town of They didn't see us.
So, how did you two meet? Wackjob.
com? No.
Just a couple of schmoes in an empty bar.
We hit it off.
Turns out me and Rog -- we're both total conspiracy-theory junkies.
And then we found Thinman, and, bam, we blew up all over the message boards.
So, what is this, then? Some sort of a twisted cosplay? Cosreal.
You know, blogging was fun, but But, let me guess, you wanted something more.
You realize what you two jackasses are doing doesn't make you Thinman.
It makes you copycat killers.
It makes me Thinman.
And you're not telling anyone I'm not, 'cause you'll be too dead to talk.
Show time.
You two are lucky ducks.
You're the stars of our best video yet.
And when it goes viral, everyone will know Thinman's real.
AndAction! Wait, no, no, no.
Don't! Harry Oh, he got me! He got me back! It's Scooby-Doo time, douche bag.
Take off the mask.
I know you're not Thinman.
You're just a "me-me".
Ed, it's pronounced meme.
It's spelled m-e-m-e, though.
The second "e" is silent.
Yeah.
You're a me-me -- a-a man-meme, and I invented you.
Oh! Good to know.
Oh, sh-- I'm a lover of the classics, Ed.
And what we have here is a "Frankenstein" situation.
I'm a lover I mean, wow, the creator.
I mean, we -- we were gonna let one of you guys live to tell our story but now, once you two are dead, there'll be no proof that Thinman was your brainchilc.
No.
Wait, no! No! No! No, look.
Look at me.
This is all my fault.
Okay? It's all my fault.
I got enough bullets for both of you.
So, are we good in there? Yeah.
With the Thinman footage and the way I set the bodies, there should be enough breadcrumbs to make it look like those two psychos offed each other.
They were just people, man.
They weren'tdemons.
They weren't monsters.
Theywere just frickin' people.
Yeah, well, like I said, people are sick.
S-soAre we cool? I don't think we ever will be.
I mean, you know, we made it right.
We, uh -- we beat the guys.
This could be our shot to start the old Ghostfacers again.
I came here with you to finish this thing with Thinman.
I wasn't just closing a chapter, Ed.
It was the whole dang book.
But you saved my life back there.
I killed a guy, Ed.
He was a bad guy, Harry.
He was a guy, Ed.
Too many people have died 'cause of your crap.
I've done all this crap for us.
I-I don't know why you don't see that.
No.
No.
You did this for you.
Ed, there's a lot of things I can forgive, so, what does this mean about us? It means It's complicated.
Can I get a ride from you guys? Yeah, sure.
Harry, you okay? Yeah.
I mean, no.
You roll with a guy so many years, you start to think he's always gonna be next to you.
Like, when you're old and you're drinking on the porch, he'll be in that other rocking chair.
And then something happens, and you realize that other chair has gone empty.
You know what I mean?