Survivor's Remorse (2014) s03e07 Episode Script
The Guests
1 ROYCROFT: I'm glad that you've decided to start attending your therapy sessions.
Do you think your mother would consider joining us for a session? - I am not going to anybody's therapy.
- It's a session.
It killed her to ask you to come to her therapy, but she did it.
I think you should go.
Dealer Joe wants us to talk face-to-face.
Just be cool.
This ain't cool.
[groans.]
You owe us 2,000 American dollars.
Find 'em, steal 'em, or borrow 'em from somebody not named Joe.
I don't like the way you call this place gang-infested.
- I need my money.
- PAUL: Hey, real talk, Cam, Reg, I've been getting my shit together since things went down.
You an inspiration, man.
CAM: Ah, it's gonna be so great to get home to Boston.
Boston ain't your home anymore, Cam.
And can I just say for the record one last time, - this is a bad idea.
- Disagree, for the record.
Let the record show that we are in disagreement over the merits of attending a drug dealer's wedding.
- Are we still talking about this - Yeah, we're still talking.
As we're walking up to the plane with luggage? - Tell me you packed.
- Oh, I did.
You know what? But I was holding out for hope that this was some kind of practical joke.
See, I keep waiting for you to yell out, "Aha" or "I got you.
We're off to Vegas.
" Chen's letting us borrow his plane.
Why? Because Chen, like me, understands that you got to be there for people from your past.
You you can't make any new old friends.
Yes, but you can also very easily forget all the old bad ones.
Stop romanticizing our past.
- We've known Dealer Joe since we were little.
- So what? Don't make him out to be some kind of evil bad guy.
He was a small-time ghetto proprietor.
Ha, Dorchester's pride and joy.
Long live Dealer Joe.
We smoke weed now.
We smoked his weed then.
We partook.
And if he started out today, he would have a dispensary.
No big deal.
Joe was eventually dealing it all.
Life-ruining stuff, not just weed.
- Just the last few years.
- [laughs.]
He's a fucking Eagle Scout.
He said that he's gone clean.
Cam, his name is Dealer Joe.
He has had ample opportunity to change that.
By now he could be Plumber Joe, Insurance Man Joe - or Joseph or Joey.
- Not Joey.
But, no, no, no.
He still goes by Dealer Joe.
Well, he didn't start out with that name.
Exactly, he acquired it by virtue of what he decided to do with his life, the career that he chose.
Do you have any idea how much basketball you would have to play to be known as Basketball Cam? It's not how you start your life, it's how you live along the way.
Uh, I'm going.
Are you staying? No, I'm just gonna let you go to a drug dealer's wedding by yourself.
Fuck, man.
Let's just go do some drugs.
I'm just playing.
We're not gonna do any drugs, okay? [gasps.]
Oh, my God.
Found this guy over on Wellington Avenue.
You know him? Tucker, I must have left the gate open.
- Thank you so much.
- Oh, no worries.
I was out on a run, I saw him wandering around.
Almost got hit by a car.
Oh, my God, Tucker.
Oh, no, not the dog.
Me.
It's too late to be out running wearing all black.
[laughs.]
I'm M-Chuck.
I live a few blocks over.
I'm Janine.
I don't even know how to thank you.
[moaning.]
Is my mommy still sleeping? Yes.
Hi, I'm M-Chuck.
I'm just gonna grab my shirt.
M-CHUCK: The thing I look forward to the most after the hookup is the leaving.
And I know we took a couple of sessions where we didn't talk about my mom at all, but I think now is the time to, you know, dig in.
Do you think this has anything to do with when my mother came? ROYCROFT: Cassie, thank you for being here.
Yeah, Ma, thanks.
How you doing? This is about you, not me.
I'm here to listen, not talk.
I'm listening, but I'm sure not talking.
I always wondered how all this stuff down here works.
Go ahead.
Why'd she come if she's just gonna sit here and refuse to answer questions for 50 minutes? That's fucked up, is it not? I'm interested in the feelings that brought you in here as a result of last night.
Doc, you can say it's fucked up.
She said she came here to listen.
Yes or no, is it fucked up? - It's not emotionally ideal.
- You think? You called because of an encounter that has left you questioning the role of sex in your life.
No, sex is great.
It's the one thing I can count on.
I love getting it, love giving it.
And what about love? Love is just another word for settling.
Plus it takes too long.
Sex takes about an hour.
Two if you're not annoying.
I know this is horrible to say, but sometimes I wonder if my mother loves me.
I think her coming here tells us that she does love you.
She would like you to believe that.
There's every possibility that she can't give you what was never modeled for her.
You know, it's easier to shield your your insecurities with brashness than to admit that it's a weakness.
Like casual sex.
It has its benefits, yes, but in the absence of love, it it runs the risk of being a a weakness and not a strength.
Huh.
So if I hook up with someone and then always if if I hook up with some if I hook up with someone and then I'm always rushing to leave, just hooking up to hook up, I can't create something worthwhile, deeper, lasting.
Is that what you want? Do I have to give up random sex? Let's not say give up.
Let's say take a break.
And we'll see how that feels.
Let's, like, us? You're gonna take a break, too? I have been on a break for quite a while.
Actually I'd like to be back in rotation, frankly.
- Rotation is nice, Doc.
- [laughs.]
- Joe told me he stopped dealing.
- Yeah? Well, if a drug dealer says something, it's got to be true.
Don't demonize a guy who did what he had to do to make ends meet.
Had to do it.
Feeding the family.
- Making the ends meet.
- Are you done? I can go on.
Reg, we got to remember where we're from.
Who we were.
You forget that, you get lost.
But you can't just remember it.
You got to go back, touch it, feel it.
Smoke it, snort it, inject it.
Six months ago, you were saying you hated everything about Boston.
- I see things differently now.
- Oh, okay.
Do you know how much forgiveness people have provided me and this family for the bad choices that we've made, the things that we've messed up? I owe people the same thing.
And Joe is trying to forsake his former life and redeem himself.
Good for him.
Brav-the-fuck-o.
Criminals Always criminals.
Dealer Joe is trying to do something different with his life.
Dealer Joe just wants some free shit from Pottery Barn.
If someone that I know says that they want to be more than what people think or thought they could be and now do something that people didn't believe they can, I can't take a minute to support that? Send the man a rice cooker and a book by Dennis Kimbro, and it takes longer than a minute.
He asked me to stand up on the most important day of his life so that he can be reminded of who he was when he was happy and innocent and all good and I told him that if I could, I would.
I would be there because old friends owe each other that.
Even if the friendship became lost or or fractured for a time.
Even if that friendship was conducted under a narcotic cloud? Listen, I need to be around people who liked me when I had nothing.
- Champagne? - Oh, yes.
Thank you.
Please.
WOMAN'S VOICE: She was naked, she was willing, she was ready and I said to her, "Would you like to have some fun? Would you? Would you?" Yes, I would.
- Oh, shit.
- Hey! - Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo! - Can't jump the broom without us.
Wouldn't miss it for the world.
What's up, Paul? You and them tight shirts.
- Fuck you, man.
- Yeah, boy.
Dang, you actually came.
Hey, I said if I could, I would, so I am.
Hey, look at this.
- Yeah.
- All right.
All right.
I see you, Joe.
How you get a girl to marry you, man? - She about to get deported? - Ha! - Man, Tanesha is a Roxbury girl.
- Oh! And I can't wait for you two fuckies to meet her, a'ight? - All right.
- Hey, yo, now, uh, Dirty.
I want you to take Cam up to go get a drink, man.
I got some logistics to work out with Reg.
Haters throw shade, I walk it out Miss VIP standing on the couch Spotlight, strobe lights all night, I live the good life Follow me if you wanna be a boss like Haters throw shade, I walk it out Miss VIP standing on the couch Spotlight, strobe lights all night, I live the good life Follow me if you wanna be a boss like Shining like a diamond, like a diamond To the top I'm climbing like I'm hiking I'm the new horizon, see me rising, yeah I'm going up, going up like a diamond Got my mind on my money and my money on my mind Haters throw shade, I walk it out - Miss VIP standing on the couch - [cheering.]
Spotlight, strobe lights all night, I live the good life Follow me if you wanna be a boss like Haters throw shade, I walk it out Miss VIP standing on the couch Spotlight, strobe lights all night, I live the good [siren wailing.]
- God damn, Joe.
- Right? Look, man, thank you for coming.
And not just for being here, but because with Cam here, they're upgrading our entire bridal party to suites.
They're moving our reception to the Platinum Room and they're giving us an open bar for two hours.
All because Cam's name's on the guest list? His name ain't on the guest list, but, you know, I kept it quiet.
Not completely quiet, but quiet.
- Huh.
- Some people heard.
I mean, I told a few people with power at the hotel and that's why I needed to talk to you.
[laughs.]
Uh-huh.
Look, man, I'm I'm being up front.
Ah, no, up front would be just coming out with the catch.
See, we kind of on the road to up front.
Whatever is before front is where we currently are.
Oh, fam, I'm getting married tomorrow.
You gonna keep stalling me out now? All right, what does Cam need to do to make your life easier? All right, all of these upgrades are free if Cam just does five tweets that big up the hotel.
- Five tweets to his 10 million followers? - Yes.
- For the hotel? - Yes.
Cam would rather just pay for the upgrades himself.
Oh, now hold on.
I'm not looking for any handouts.
Hey, we just want this to be a quiet weekend.
Five tweets undoes that.
Five tweets lets everybody in Boston know that Cam is in Boston and what hotel he's staying in, which turns this from a quiet, chill weekend with some old neighborhood friends into a loud, chaotic "Hey, Cam, since you back in Boston, could you" type of weekend.
Tell me you didn't promise anything to this hotel.
Now, Reg, you getting so emotional about some little tweets.
Tweets have ruined bigger and better men, so don't chirp at me about overreacting to some tweets.
Well, you acting like I asked him for a kidney, man.
When people call begging, you ignore 'em.
That's why they put ignore buttons on the phone in the first place.
All right, Joe.
Want to help you out.
Want you to have a storybook wedding, all right? And from the looks of it, this is happening thanks to Cam.
Now think about where we grew up.
Did you predict a wedding like this? - No.
- Okay.
Cam can't tweet.
As far as the social digital world goes, he's not here.
He don't want to be associated with me? Fuck you.
So emotional.
You getting all Whitney on me.
Cam is here, he just don't want to be digitally and instantly forever associated with somebody who, and this is no judgment, has or has had a relationship with the felony laws.
Cam is good business.
I'm the good shepherd of that good business and I'm sure you can understand that we want to stay in business unbesmirched as wrong as that besmirching may be because you a good dude, you're a dear friend who's turned over at least a portion of a new leaf.
Go at Boston speed, please.
I don't do Boston speed no more.
Man, this best man speech got me shook.
So I wanted to ask you if I could run my toast by you real fast since you speak all good and shit.
Tanesha's aunt, she threatened me.
She said my speech better be good or else.
What the hell else could she possibly put on you? You know she in Walpole doing back-to-back life sentences for murder, right? She not a nice person.
I hear you.
Damn.
All right, here, run it by me.
[exhales.]
[clears throat.]
To Joe, my motherfucker.
That's it.
That's all I got.
- [laughs.]
- Oh, man, I'm terrified.
How am I supposed to know how to toast newlyweds? All right, how long have you known Joe? Since he was skinny, man.
Back in the Boys & Girls Club days.
I used to spend the night at his house.
His mom used to whip both our asses.
Open with that.
Write it down.
So just start with Joe's mom used to fuck us up? Take the curse words out.
Joe's mom loved me like a son, - so me and Joe became like brothers.
- Ooh, that's dope.
Yeah, you you got any, uh any stories about Joe and Tanesha as a couple? Ooh, one time we all did ecstasy down by Charles River.
Yeah, she took her top off and titties was out.
She was like, "Oh, look at me, my tit" Hell, I I was looking.
Anything sober? Like romantic? Yeah, she had these nipples, these motherfuckers was like - Mmm! - Dirty, they gonna have grandparents downstairs.
Man, I ain't never seen no dude act like this over no female ever.
Put that into a quote.
Seeing y'all together makes me want to find a bitch like that.
Good.
That's good.
But swap out the word bitch with with queen.
So you'll say seeing them together makes me want to find a queen like that.
Right, 'cause bitches do like when you call them queens.
Yeah, so so now all you need is a dismount where you can, like, you know, sum the whole thing up with a quote.
Like, when I gave the best man toast at Reggie's wedding, I killed it when I said, "They say when you find the right person", the good times are doubled and the bad times divided by two.
" - Ooh, can I use that? - Yeah.
Say it again.
When you find the right person, the good times Double and the bad times are double, too.
No, no, no, no, no.
The the bad times are divided into two.
The bad divides us into two.
Dirty, you don't got to memorize it.
- You can just - Write it down.
- Yeah.
- Hey, yo, thanks, Cam.
Yo, you ain't afraid to get deep.
I got 'em, yeah, I got 'em Don't worry 'cause I got 'em They's covered like a condom But I still be busting on 'em My buzzer's just alarming No snooze button on it Living every day's a gift So I get everything I wanted She's falling like a comet Crashing, crashing Always got a comment When wasn't nobody asking This ain't that hottie hottie Oh, fuck! [moaning.]
Okay, thank you.
Please, please stop.
Please stop, stop.
[breathing heavily.]
Yeah.
You got no idea how much I needed that.
I'll reciprocate back at my place.
Come with.
Yeah, look, before we go any further, I think we should settle up first.
Oral is 300, going back to your place is five.
Spending the night is 1,000.
[laughs.]
That's a good one.
Oral is 300, going back to your place is five, spending the night is 1,000.
- You're a hooker? - I prefer working girl.
I'm not paying you for pussy.
I got a pussy.
You're not paying for pussy, you're paying for head.
The head you just got.
You need to tell people you're a hooker before you blow them.
It's called truth in advertising.
There's laws against that, you know.
I find it takes the thrill away from a client if she knows the sex is transactional.
You know what? Fuck it.
Goddamn hooker.
I can't believe - I ran out of cash.
- I take credit cards.
I'm not giving out my digital fingerprint in a bar bathroom.
But you'll let me go to town on you in the same bathroom? My pussy can't be stolen and used for cybercrime.
My money.
Next time.
Sorry.
I think I saw an ATM on the way in.
Maybe we could walk there.
You lead, we'll follow.
Okay, Joe, we came here to celebrate with you.
So before Cam leaves, he'll take a photo with the general manager.
He'll tell the general manager he will tweet about how much he loved staying here after he spent one night because to say such a thing before he does such a thing would be a lie and Cam ain't a liar.
All right? Now, in return for this, I request that at your newly upgraded reception and your two-hour open bar due to Cam's presence, you restrict the use of cell phones.
Well, how we gonna capture memories? - You hired a professional photographer, right? - Yeah.
Okay, moments will be captured, put in the photobook, not on the Interweb.
Why is he here if he doesn't want to be if he does if he wants to pretend he wasn't here? All right, look at it as his brand doesn't want to lose his endorsements.
Facebook pages and Snapchats and Periscopes of Cam at a drug dealer's wedding is not a moment he wants captured.
Hey, man, damn.
Stop calling me a drug dealer.
My wife-to-be thinks I've retired, which I have, essentially, all right? - All right.
- It's a process, you know? I can only imagine.
Now I'll have some people from the hotel check cell phones.
Cost is on me.
After the great experience of no cell phones at the wedding or reception and Cam has spent the night, he will rave about the night spent.
Now, go.
Get ready to get married.
You've got, like, 12 hours.
Well, uh, look, Reg, the, uh, open bar still needs some finalizing, so can you come talk to the manager with me? M-CHUCK: I'm so sorry.
I I was so humiliated and I fucked up and I couldn't face an Uber.
You don't have to come in.
Thanks for picking me up and dropping me off.
I'm glad you called me.
Me, too.
Do you want to talk about it? I can come in.
What's to say? I've always lost myself in a vast swath of vaginas and yet I'm beginning to worry that vaginal emersion is not yielding the same rush of gratification it once did.
That's that's something to say.
You get along with your mom? I don't think it's fair to compare.
You think mine likes me? I have never seen a woman more fiercely protective of her family than yours.
That's Ma for you.
She's like, "You're not gonna fuck up these kids.
" I'm gonna fuck up these kids.
" [chuckles.]
She's something.
I think that she really believes that that's what love is.
Crushing your spirit before somebody else gets a chance to do it.
Thanks, Missy.
You're all right.
- You can call me anytime.
- I know.
So I called you tonight.
[sighs.]
Motherfucker! Cam motherfucking Calloway.
- Daddy.
- Oh, my bad.
Afterwards, me and you hit the bar, Cîroc.
[laughs.]
That's Cam Calloway.
They say marriage is not about finding somebody you want to live with, it's about finding somebody you can't live without.
When I see Tanesha and Joe together, ha, I see love.
To the bride and groom.
Give 'em some love.
[applause, cheering.]
We got the best man's speech coming up, but before we do that, Cam Calloway is in the house! [cheering.]
Get up, Cam.
Get up.
Get up.
Get up.
Say something to the people.
Get up, Cam.
Say something to the people.
Come on.
Say something to the people.
This man is from here.
He grew up here.
He's a success.
Let him hear it.
Come on, say something to the people.
Oh, man.
Thank you, thank you.
Listen, I [cheering continues.]
Okay, all right.
No, no, no, no, no.
Stop, stop, stop.
Okay, thank you.
Listen, I I was not expecting to speak.
But thank you, you know, and, um, I'll make it quick.
Man, it is it's great to be here.
You know, I really, really wanted to come show my my childhood friend Joe some love on his special day.
Congratulations, Joe.
- Give it up for him.
Come on.
- [applause.]
I've known this kid since kindergarten.
What a ceremony.
What a venue.
What what what a party, man.
And what a bride.
Give it up for the bride.
Don't she look good? I might have married her if I knew her in kindergarten.
Being here tonight has has really made me realize that the things in life that are worthy and lasting Love and companionship, family Those things don't come easy to everyone.
But when you meet the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with, you get filled with meaning and purpose.
Life just makes more sense.
You know, life means more.
So being in in in the midst of that kind of love, it's only right that you bow your heads in thanks.
God, I mean, I know a lot of people don't believe in you, but if you met Tanesha and Joe and seen their love, you'd know that it's proof of your existence.
- So here's to Joe and Tanesha.
- WOMAN: Yeah! May the remainder of your lives be full of love and full of joy and little Joes and little Taneshas - that will improve Yeah.
- [applause.]
Y'all gonna improve the world.
Y'all gonna improve the world.
Cam Calloway! All right.
Absolutely, man.
Cam Calloway.
Come on, y'all, give him some love.
- Mr.
Cam Calloway! - You look good.
All right, I mean [cheering continues.]
You, too, girl.
You look good.
He grew up here! He's a success.
He's done something with his life.
All right.
Mr.
Cam Calloway! All right, all right.
Come on, come on, come on.
Now we have Joe's best friend, the best man, Paul.
[applause, cheering.]
Hey, uh give it up again for the pride of Boston, uh, Cam Calloway, y'all.
[cheering.]
Give it to him.
Yeah.
- CURTIS: Cam Calloway! - PAUL: Yeah, say his name one more time.
Yeah, that was That was that was a that was a great speech, man.
If you like that kind of thing, long-winded and flowery.
Uh, Joe, congratulations.
- You my motherfucker.
- MAN: Whoa! - WOMAN: Whoa! - MAN: All right.
PAUL: That's it.
That's all I got.
[light applause.]
DJ, let's get dancing, man.
What you got? Oh! Oh! All the shorties in the club, let me see you just Back it up, drop it down, let me see you just Get low, scrub the ground, let me see you just Push it up, push it up, let me see you just Wobble, baby, wobble, baby, wobble, baby, wobble, yeah This is a great wedding, Joe.
Congrats.
Hey, the hotel asked if they can get a 15-second video with Cam shouting them out and an actual picture of him at the reception.
Now, see, if they do, they'll comp us a week in Manhattan at their flagship hotel for our honeymoon.
Room and tax included.
That's a commercial, Joe.
Cam gets paid a lot of money for commercials, all right? Now, look, I've told you, we'll tweet tomorrow, but there can be no video.
So let's just smoke a cigar.
Got a couple nice ones from your father-in-law.
- Reg.
- Yeah? My temperature's rising.
Now, you said you're trying to protect Cam's image, but we don't need no pictures for people to talk.
- Is that right? - Yeah.
See, talk is a bad thing to mess with.
- Some people say that talk is cheap.
- [laughing.]
- 'Kay.
- Whole lot of people messed up by talk.
- Politicians, ballers.
- Mmm.
Actors.
Yeah, a whole lot of folks in trouble all because of some plain old talk.
You need the picture that bad? You need me to not have it that bad? [sighs.]
He ain't standing next to you.
Bet.
Look, grab one of these old bitches here, somebody that's not in the game.
Yeah, how about that old bitch? You talking about my Nana? If that's your Nana, then, yeah.
- Playa, watch your mouth.
- Hey, man, don't playa me.
Okay? You ain't the only one from this neighborhood and you ain't the only one know people who can take care of things.
Oh, I'll take care of things myself.
Ah, see, that's where you're gonna trip up, Joe.
Just a little bit of advice from an old friend.
Now let's take the photo.
Nana near Cam, you nowhere near him.
Yeah, yeah, get in there They don't care if I sing in metaphors Hey, man, you good? Dirty, I'm sorry.
Sorry didn't do that shit.
You did.
You got me out here looking like the second best man.
You gave me all that good time double the bad time bullshit, then you pull this Smokey Robinson shit for 45 minutes.
Get the fuck out my face, man.
Dirty, I got caught up in the moment.
Yeah, you did, didn't you? - Dirty.
- Hey, man.
Get out my face before my foot get caught up in your ass.
CURTIS: Cam Calloway! Who got eyes on him? We're cutting the cake.
Little Joes.
That'll make the world a better place? That was some shit right there.
Some shit.
I'll just have water.
I'm okay.
Thank you.
You know why people don't go home again? Because it's fuckin' stupid.
Do you think your mother would consider joining us for a session? - I am not going to anybody's therapy.
- It's a session.
It killed her to ask you to come to her therapy, but she did it.
I think you should go.
Dealer Joe wants us to talk face-to-face.
Just be cool.
This ain't cool.
[groans.]
You owe us 2,000 American dollars.
Find 'em, steal 'em, or borrow 'em from somebody not named Joe.
I don't like the way you call this place gang-infested.
- I need my money.
- PAUL: Hey, real talk, Cam, Reg, I've been getting my shit together since things went down.
You an inspiration, man.
CAM: Ah, it's gonna be so great to get home to Boston.
Boston ain't your home anymore, Cam.
And can I just say for the record one last time, - this is a bad idea.
- Disagree, for the record.
Let the record show that we are in disagreement over the merits of attending a drug dealer's wedding.
- Are we still talking about this - Yeah, we're still talking.
As we're walking up to the plane with luggage? - Tell me you packed.
- Oh, I did.
You know what? But I was holding out for hope that this was some kind of practical joke.
See, I keep waiting for you to yell out, "Aha" or "I got you.
We're off to Vegas.
" Chen's letting us borrow his plane.
Why? Because Chen, like me, understands that you got to be there for people from your past.
You you can't make any new old friends.
Yes, but you can also very easily forget all the old bad ones.
Stop romanticizing our past.
- We've known Dealer Joe since we were little.
- So what? Don't make him out to be some kind of evil bad guy.
He was a small-time ghetto proprietor.
Ha, Dorchester's pride and joy.
Long live Dealer Joe.
We smoke weed now.
We smoked his weed then.
We partook.
And if he started out today, he would have a dispensary.
No big deal.
Joe was eventually dealing it all.
Life-ruining stuff, not just weed.
- Just the last few years.
- [laughs.]
He's a fucking Eagle Scout.
He said that he's gone clean.
Cam, his name is Dealer Joe.
He has had ample opportunity to change that.
By now he could be Plumber Joe, Insurance Man Joe - or Joseph or Joey.
- Not Joey.
But, no, no, no.
He still goes by Dealer Joe.
Well, he didn't start out with that name.
Exactly, he acquired it by virtue of what he decided to do with his life, the career that he chose.
Do you have any idea how much basketball you would have to play to be known as Basketball Cam? It's not how you start your life, it's how you live along the way.
Uh, I'm going.
Are you staying? No, I'm just gonna let you go to a drug dealer's wedding by yourself.
Fuck, man.
Let's just go do some drugs.
I'm just playing.
We're not gonna do any drugs, okay? [gasps.]
Oh, my God.
Found this guy over on Wellington Avenue.
You know him? Tucker, I must have left the gate open.
- Thank you so much.
- Oh, no worries.
I was out on a run, I saw him wandering around.
Almost got hit by a car.
Oh, my God, Tucker.
Oh, no, not the dog.
Me.
It's too late to be out running wearing all black.
[laughs.]
I'm M-Chuck.
I live a few blocks over.
I'm Janine.
I don't even know how to thank you.
[moaning.]
Is my mommy still sleeping? Yes.
Hi, I'm M-Chuck.
I'm just gonna grab my shirt.
M-CHUCK: The thing I look forward to the most after the hookup is the leaving.
And I know we took a couple of sessions where we didn't talk about my mom at all, but I think now is the time to, you know, dig in.
Do you think this has anything to do with when my mother came? ROYCROFT: Cassie, thank you for being here.
Yeah, Ma, thanks.
How you doing? This is about you, not me.
I'm here to listen, not talk.
I'm listening, but I'm sure not talking.
I always wondered how all this stuff down here works.
Go ahead.
Why'd she come if she's just gonna sit here and refuse to answer questions for 50 minutes? That's fucked up, is it not? I'm interested in the feelings that brought you in here as a result of last night.
Doc, you can say it's fucked up.
She said she came here to listen.
Yes or no, is it fucked up? - It's not emotionally ideal.
- You think? You called because of an encounter that has left you questioning the role of sex in your life.
No, sex is great.
It's the one thing I can count on.
I love getting it, love giving it.
And what about love? Love is just another word for settling.
Plus it takes too long.
Sex takes about an hour.
Two if you're not annoying.
I know this is horrible to say, but sometimes I wonder if my mother loves me.
I think her coming here tells us that she does love you.
She would like you to believe that.
There's every possibility that she can't give you what was never modeled for her.
You know, it's easier to shield your your insecurities with brashness than to admit that it's a weakness.
Like casual sex.
It has its benefits, yes, but in the absence of love, it it runs the risk of being a a weakness and not a strength.
Huh.
So if I hook up with someone and then always if if I hook up with some if I hook up with someone and then I'm always rushing to leave, just hooking up to hook up, I can't create something worthwhile, deeper, lasting.
Is that what you want? Do I have to give up random sex? Let's not say give up.
Let's say take a break.
And we'll see how that feels.
Let's, like, us? You're gonna take a break, too? I have been on a break for quite a while.
Actually I'd like to be back in rotation, frankly.
- Rotation is nice, Doc.
- [laughs.]
- Joe told me he stopped dealing.
- Yeah? Well, if a drug dealer says something, it's got to be true.
Don't demonize a guy who did what he had to do to make ends meet.
Had to do it.
Feeding the family.
- Making the ends meet.
- Are you done? I can go on.
Reg, we got to remember where we're from.
Who we were.
You forget that, you get lost.
But you can't just remember it.
You got to go back, touch it, feel it.
Smoke it, snort it, inject it.
Six months ago, you were saying you hated everything about Boston.
- I see things differently now.
- Oh, okay.
Do you know how much forgiveness people have provided me and this family for the bad choices that we've made, the things that we've messed up? I owe people the same thing.
And Joe is trying to forsake his former life and redeem himself.
Good for him.
Brav-the-fuck-o.
Criminals Always criminals.
Dealer Joe is trying to do something different with his life.
Dealer Joe just wants some free shit from Pottery Barn.
If someone that I know says that they want to be more than what people think or thought they could be and now do something that people didn't believe they can, I can't take a minute to support that? Send the man a rice cooker and a book by Dennis Kimbro, and it takes longer than a minute.
He asked me to stand up on the most important day of his life so that he can be reminded of who he was when he was happy and innocent and all good and I told him that if I could, I would.
I would be there because old friends owe each other that.
Even if the friendship became lost or or fractured for a time.
Even if that friendship was conducted under a narcotic cloud? Listen, I need to be around people who liked me when I had nothing.
- Champagne? - Oh, yes.
Thank you.
Please.
WOMAN'S VOICE: She was naked, she was willing, she was ready and I said to her, "Would you like to have some fun? Would you? Would you?" Yes, I would.
- Oh, shit.
- Hey! - Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo! - Can't jump the broom without us.
Wouldn't miss it for the world.
What's up, Paul? You and them tight shirts.
- Fuck you, man.
- Yeah, boy.
Dang, you actually came.
Hey, I said if I could, I would, so I am.
Hey, look at this.
- Yeah.
- All right.
All right.
I see you, Joe.
How you get a girl to marry you, man? - She about to get deported? - Ha! - Man, Tanesha is a Roxbury girl.
- Oh! And I can't wait for you two fuckies to meet her, a'ight? - All right.
- Hey, yo, now, uh, Dirty.
I want you to take Cam up to go get a drink, man.
I got some logistics to work out with Reg.
Haters throw shade, I walk it out Miss VIP standing on the couch Spotlight, strobe lights all night, I live the good life Follow me if you wanna be a boss like Haters throw shade, I walk it out Miss VIP standing on the couch Spotlight, strobe lights all night, I live the good life Follow me if you wanna be a boss like Shining like a diamond, like a diamond To the top I'm climbing like I'm hiking I'm the new horizon, see me rising, yeah I'm going up, going up like a diamond Got my mind on my money and my money on my mind Haters throw shade, I walk it out - Miss VIP standing on the couch - [cheering.]
Spotlight, strobe lights all night, I live the good life Follow me if you wanna be a boss like Haters throw shade, I walk it out Miss VIP standing on the couch Spotlight, strobe lights all night, I live the good [siren wailing.]
- God damn, Joe.
- Right? Look, man, thank you for coming.
And not just for being here, but because with Cam here, they're upgrading our entire bridal party to suites.
They're moving our reception to the Platinum Room and they're giving us an open bar for two hours.
All because Cam's name's on the guest list? His name ain't on the guest list, but, you know, I kept it quiet.
Not completely quiet, but quiet.
- Huh.
- Some people heard.
I mean, I told a few people with power at the hotel and that's why I needed to talk to you.
[laughs.]
Uh-huh.
Look, man, I'm I'm being up front.
Ah, no, up front would be just coming out with the catch.
See, we kind of on the road to up front.
Whatever is before front is where we currently are.
Oh, fam, I'm getting married tomorrow.
You gonna keep stalling me out now? All right, what does Cam need to do to make your life easier? All right, all of these upgrades are free if Cam just does five tweets that big up the hotel.
- Five tweets to his 10 million followers? - Yes.
- For the hotel? - Yes.
Cam would rather just pay for the upgrades himself.
Oh, now hold on.
I'm not looking for any handouts.
Hey, we just want this to be a quiet weekend.
Five tweets undoes that.
Five tweets lets everybody in Boston know that Cam is in Boston and what hotel he's staying in, which turns this from a quiet, chill weekend with some old neighborhood friends into a loud, chaotic "Hey, Cam, since you back in Boston, could you" type of weekend.
Tell me you didn't promise anything to this hotel.
Now, Reg, you getting so emotional about some little tweets.
Tweets have ruined bigger and better men, so don't chirp at me about overreacting to some tweets.
Well, you acting like I asked him for a kidney, man.
When people call begging, you ignore 'em.
That's why they put ignore buttons on the phone in the first place.
All right, Joe.
Want to help you out.
Want you to have a storybook wedding, all right? And from the looks of it, this is happening thanks to Cam.
Now think about where we grew up.
Did you predict a wedding like this? - No.
- Okay.
Cam can't tweet.
As far as the social digital world goes, he's not here.
He don't want to be associated with me? Fuck you.
So emotional.
You getting all Whitney on me.
Cam is here, he just don't want to be digitally and instantly forever associated with somebody who, and this is no judgment, has or has had a relationship with the felony laws.
Cam is good business.
I'm the good shepherd of that good business and I'm sure you can understand that we want to stay in business unbesmirched as wrong as that besmirching may be because you a good dude, you're a dear friend who's turned over at least a portion of a new leaf.
Go at Boston speed, please.
I don't do Boston speed no more.
Man, this best man speech got me shook.
So I wanted to ask you if I could run my toast by you real fast since you speak all good and shit.
Tanesha's aunt, she threatened me.
She said my speech better be good or else.
What the hell else could she possibly put on you? You know she in Walpole doing back-to-back life sentences for murder, right? She not a nice person.
I hear you.
Damn.
All right, here, run it by me.
[exhales.]
[clears throat.]
To Joe, my motherfucker.
That's it.
That's all I got.
- [laughs.]
- Oh, man, I'm terrified.
How am I supposed to know how to toast newlyweds? All right, how long have you known Joe? Since he was skinny, man.
Back in the Boys & Girls Club days.
I used to spend the night at his house.
His mom used to whip both our asses.
Open with that.
Write it down.
So just start with Joe's mom used to fuck us up? Take the curse words out.
Joe's mom loved me like a son, - so me and Joe became like brothers.
- Ooh, that's dope.
Yeah, you you got any, uh any stories about Joe and Tanesha as a couple? Ooh, one time we all did ecstasy down by Charles River.
Yeah, she took her top off and titties was out.
She was like, "Oh, look at me, my tit" Hell, I I was looking.
Anything sober? Like romantic? Yeah, she had these nipples, these motherfuckers was like - Mmm! - Dirty, they gonna have grandparents downstairs.
Man, I ain't never seen no dude act like this over no female ever.
Put that into a quote.
Seeing y'all together makes me want to find a bitch like that.
Good.
That's good.
But swap out the word bitch with with queen.
So you'll say seeing them together makes me want to find a queen like that.
Right, 'cause bitches do like when you call them queens.
Yeah, so so now all you need is a dismount where you can, like, you know, sum the whole thing up with a quote.
Like, when I gave the best man toast at Reggie's wedding, I killed it when I said, "They say when you find the right person", the good times are doubled and the bad times divided by two.
" - Ooh, can I use that? - Yeah.
Say it again.
When you find the right person, the good times Double and the bad times are double, too.
No, no, no, no, no.
The the bad times are divided into two.
The bad divides us into two.
Dirty, you don't got to memorize it.
- You can just - Write it down.
- Yeah.
- Hey, yo, thanks, Cam.
Yo, you ain't afraid to get deep.
I got 'em, yeah, I got 'em Don't worry 'cause I got 'em They's covered like a condom But I still be busting on 'em My buzzer's just alarming No snooze button on it Living every day's a gift So I get everything I wanted She's falling like a comet Crashing, crashing Always got a comment When wasn't nobody asking This ain't that hottie hottie Oh, fuck! [moaning.]
Okay, thank you.
Please, please stop.
Please stop, stop.
[breathing heavily.]
Yeah.
You got no idea how much I needed that.
I'll reciprocate back at my place.
Come with.
Yeah, look, before we go any further, I think we should settle up first.
Oral is 300, going back to your place is five.
Spending the night is 1,000.
[laughs.]
That's a good one.
Oral is 300, going back to your place is five, spending the night is 1,000.
- You're a hooker? - I prefer working girl.
I'm not paying you for pussy.
I got a pussy.
You're not paying for pussy, you're paying for head.
The head you just got.
You need to tell people you're a hooker before you blow them.
It's called truth in advertising.
There's laws against that, you know.
I find it takes the thrill away from a client if she knows the sex is transactional.
You know what? Fuck it.
Goddamn hooker.
I can't believe - I ran out of cash.
- I take credit cards.
I'm not giving out my digital fingerprint in a bar bathroom.
But you'll let me go to town on you in the same bathroom? My pussy can't be stolen and used for cybercrime.
My money.
Next time.
Sorry.
I think I saw an ATM on the way in.
Maybe we could walk there.
You lead, we'll follow.
Okay, Joe, we came here to celebrate with you.
So before Cam leaves, he'll take a photo with the general manager.
He'll tell the general manager he will tweet about how much he loved staying here after he spent one night because to say such a thing before he does such a thing would be a lie and Cam ain't a liar.
All right? Now, in return for this, I request that at your newly upgraded reception and your two-hour open bar due to Cam's presence, you restrict the use of cell phones.
Well, how we gonna capture memories? - You hired a professional photographer, right? - Yeah.
Okay, moments will be captured, put in the photobook, not on the Interweb.
Why is he here if he doesn't want to be if he does if he wants to pretend he wasn't here? All right, look at it as his brand doesn't want to lose his endorsements.
Facebook pages and Snapchats and Periscopes of Cam at a drug dealer's wedding is not a moment he wants captured.
Hey, man, damn.
Stop calling me a drug dealer.
My wife-to-be thinks I've retired, which I have, essentially, all right? - All right.
- It's a process, you know? I can only imagine.
Now I'll have some people from the hotel check cell phones.
Cost is on me.
After the great experience of no cell phones at the wedding or reception and Cam has spent the night, he will rave about the night spent.
Now, go.
Get ready to get married.
You've got, like, 12 hours.
Well, uh, look, Reg, the, uh, open bar still needs some finalizing, so can you come talk to the manager with me? M-CHUCK: I'm so sorry.
I I was so humiliated and I fucked up and I couldn't face an Uber.
You don't have to come in.
Thanks for picking me up and dropping me off.
I'm glad you called me.
Me, too.
Do you want to talk about it? I can come in.
What's to say? I've always lost myself in a vast swath of vaginas and yet I'm beginning to worry that vaginal emersion is not yielding the same rush of gratification it once did.
That's that's something to say.
You get along with your mom? I don't think it's fair to compare.
You think mine likes me? I have never seen a woman more fiercely protective of her family than yours.
That's Ma for you.
She's like, "You're not gonna fuck up these kids.
" I'm gonna fuck up these kids.
" [chuckles.]
She's something.
I think that she really believes that that's what love is.
Crushing your spirit before somebody else gets a chance to do it.
Thanks, Missy.
You're all right.
- You can call me anytime.
- I know.
So I called you tonight.
[sighs.]
Motherfucker! Cam motherfucking Calloway.
- Daddy.
- Oh, my bad.
Afterwards, me and you hit the bar, Cîroc.
[laughs.]
That's Cam Calloway.
They say marriage is not about finding somebody you want to live with, it's about finding somebody you can't live without.
When I see Tanesha and Joe together, ha, I see love.
To the bride and groom.
Give 'em some love.
[applause, cheering.]
We got the best man's speech coming up, but before we do that, Cam Calloway is in the house! [cheering.]
Get up, Cam.
Get up.
Get up.
Get up.
Say something to the people.
Get up, Cam.
Say something to the people.
Come on.
Say something to the people.
This man is from here.
He grew up here.
He's a success.
Let him hear it.
Come on, say something to the people.
Oh, man.
Thank you, thank you.
Listen, I [cheering continues.]
Okay, all right.
No, no, no, no, no.
Stop, stop, stop.
Okay, thank you.
Listen, I I was not expecting to speak.
But thank you, you know, and, um, I'll make it quick.
Man, it is it's great to be here.
You know, I really, really wanted to come show my my childhood friend Joe some love on his special day.
Congratulations, Joe.
- Give it up for him.
Come on.
- [applause.]
I've known this kid since kindergarten.
What a ceremony.
What a venue.
What what what a party, man.
And what a bride.
Give it up for the bride.
Don't she look good? I might have married her if I knew her in kindergarten.
Being here tonight has has really made me realize that the things in life that are worthy and lasting Love and companionship, family Those things don't come easy to everyone.
But when you meet the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with, you get filled with meaning and purpose.
Life just makes more sense.
You know, life means more.
So being in in in the midst of that kind of love, it's only right that you bow your heads in thanks.
God, I mean, I know a lot of people don't believe in you, but if you met Tanesha and Joe and seen their love, you'd know that it's proof of your existence.
- So here's to Joe and Tanesha.
- WOMAN: Yeah! May the remainder of your lives be full of love and full of joy and little Joes and little Taneshas - that will improve Yeah.
- [applause.]
Y'all gonna improve the world.
Y'all gonna improve the world.
Cam Calloway! All right.
Absolutely, man.
Cam Calloway.
Come on, y'all, give him some love.
- Mr.
Cam Calloway! - You look good.
All right, I mean [cheering continues.]
You, too, girl.
You look good.
He grew up here! He's a success.
He's done something with his life.
All right.
Mr.
Cam Calloway! All right, all right.
Come on, come on, come on.
Now we have Joe's best friend, the best man, Paul.
[applause, cheering.]
Hey, uh give it up again for the pride of Boston, uh, Cam Calloway, y'all.
[cheering.]
Give it to him.
Yeah.
- CURTIS: Cam Calloway! - PAUL: Yeah, say his name one more time.
Yeah, that was That was that was a that was a great speech, man.
If you like that kind of thing, long-winded and flowery.
Uh, Joe, congratulations.
- You my motherfucker.
- MAN: Whoa! - WOMAN: Whoa! - MAN: All right.
PAUL: That's it.
That's all I got.
[light applause.]
DJ, let's get dancing, man.
What you got? Oh! Oh! All the shorties in the club, let me see you just Back it up, drop it down, let me see you just Get low, scrub the ground, let me see you just Push it up, push it up, let me see you just Wobble, baby, wobble, baby, wobble, baby, wobble, yeah This is a great wedding, Joe.
Congrats.
Hey, the hotel asked if they can get a 15-second video with Cam shouting them out and an actual picture of him at the reception.
Now, see, if they do, they'll comp us a week in Manhattan at their flagship hotel for our honeymoon.
Room and tax included.
That's a commercial, Joe.
Cam gets paid a lot of money for commercials, all right? Now, look, I've told you, we'll tweet tomorrow, but there can be no video.
So let's just smoke a cigar.
Got a couple nice ones from your father-in-law.
- Reg.
- Yeah? My temperature's rising.
Now, you said you're trying to protect Cam's image, but we don't need no pictures for people to talk.
- Is that right? - Yeah.
See, talk is a bad thing to mess with.
- Some people say that talk is cheap.
- [laughing.]
- 'Kay.
- Whole lot of people messed up by talk.
- Politicians, ballers.
- Mmm.
Actors.
Yeah, a whole lot of folks in trouble all because of some plain old talk.
You need the picture that bad? You need me to not have it that bad? [sighs.]
He ain't standing next to you.
Bet.
Look, grab one of these old bitches here, somebody that's not in the game.
Yeah, how about that old bitch? You talking about my Nana? If that's your Nana, then, yeah.
- Playa, watch your mouth.
- Hey, man, don't playa me.
Okay? You ain't the only one from this neighborhood and you ain't the only one know people who can take care of things.
Oh, I'll take care of things myself.
Ah, see, that's where you're gonna trip up, Joe.
Just a little bit of advice from an old friend.
Now let's take the photo.
Nana near Cam, you nowhere near him.
Yeah, yeah, get in there They don't care if I sing in metaphors Hey, man, you good? Dirty, I'm sorry.
Sorry didn't do that shit.
You did.
You got me out here looking like the second best man.
You gave me all that good time double the bad time bullshit, then you pull this Smokey Robinson shit for 45 minutes.
Get the fuck out my face, man.
Dirty, I got caught up in the moment.
Yeah, you did, didn't you? - Dirty.
- Hey, man.
Get out my face before my foot get caught up in your ass.
CURTIS: Cam Calloway! Who got eyes on him? We're cutting the cake.
Little Joes.
That'll make the world a better place? That was some shit right there.
Some shit.
I'll just have water.
I'm okay.
Thank you.
You know why people don't go home again? Because it's fuckin' stupid.