Sweetbitter (2018) s01e05 Episode Script

Weird Night

1 Previously on Sweetbitter Be nice to Will, okay? He's sweet.
- Who's sweet? - Not you.
Did you tell anybody that, um Oh, no.
What's that? You have a tattoo.
I have to pack.
You're going to the Cape, right? You're going home tomorrow? I don't fucking want to.
Tomorrow night, Ari has a show.
Let's blow it off, get some food.
Hey, Santos.
- I cannot believe you came.
- Yeah.
Thank you very much.
It's very kind.
I'm happy to help.
- Um - Oh, okay.
- Have you signed the back? - I did.
- Great.
- Estás más guapa hoy.
You look, uh, pretty today.
You dress up for bank? No, um, I, uh I have a date later, after work.
Um, so how do you want your cash? Uh, 20s? Okay, perfect.
What's the occasion? You look, um, straight.
Good afternoon, Baby Monster.
Would you care for a bottle of Châteauneuf-du-Pape? No, I'm okay.
Ugh, in 15 minutes, I have my review with Mr.
Howard.
Oh.
And then I will be promoted to a server and never gonna speak to your dirty bitch ass again.
That's great, Sasha, really.
You're gonna kill it.
Aw.
Why you look so fancy? Okay.
Who are you? Oh, sorry.
Uh Sorry, we haven't met yet.
I'm new.
Sam.
I'm old.
I fill in when they're desperate.
Filling in for Hey, Skip.
Um, thi Where Is Jake working today? Last-minute change.
Where'd he go? Nantucket, one of those places? One of those places.
The Cape.
What are you doing? I can't find my shoes.
Okay.
Ah.
Yeah.
I can't wear these on the floor.
You're not on the floor.
You're on dish.
Dish? No, we're beverage running tonight.
Nope.
Dishwasher's down.
Will, it's my final trail tomorrow.
I-I have to practice beverage.
It's not happening, okay? Lunch was a disaster.
Dinner's gonna be a shit show.
Howard relieved me of my trailing duties.
- It's all hands on deck.
- Will.
Tonight is already off to a rough start.
Look, this isn't about you, all right? Sometimes you just gotta make lemons out of lemonade.
You said that wrong.
Who gives a shit? Ugh! Gracias.
- Eat this.
- What is it? Mm.
Oh, Jesus fuck, this is amazing.
- Of course it is.
I made it.
- Mmm.
Octopus.
Inventive.
Modern.
But it'll never make the menu.
This place is frozen in 1985.
Fuck this place.
Oh, ow! - Watch it, muñeca.
- That hurt.
Seriously? Fucking bullshit.
Becky didn't show, and now Howard wants me to hostess.
Is he insane? He knows I hate people.
I'm not doing it.
- I'll do it.
- No, this is my night.
I booked this show months ago, and I can't waste my energy making bourgie fucking small talk.
What are those? Treats.
They make me human.
Keep that hospitable smile on my face.
- Mm.
- You're coming to my show, right? Don't you fucking flake on me.
Jake promised me he was coming, and that spineless piece of shit bailed.
Yeah, that sounds really disappointing.
Hey, Ari, you think you got a spare treat for me? Yeah, maybe I might.
Half for now.
Half for later.
Chew it if you want it to hit faster.
Wait, uh what is it? A little late to ask.
Oh, hey, how'd it go? You talk to Howard? - Yes.
- How did it go? - It last two minutes.
- He made you a server? No, he made me to come back another time.
What? No, really? You wore your best suit.
You practiced.
He said, "Too busy.
" Wha He doesn't look fucking busy.
- Jesus.
- You deserve an explanation.
He's coming.
Say something.
Do it.
Do it.
Say something.
Say something.
- Uh, Howard.
- No, not now.
Okay.
Sorry, bye.
Is the dishwasher fixed? No.
Uh, I don't think so.
And don't wear those shoes on the floor.
What the Pick up table 15.
Bransino one Pick up 22, chicken What's your problem? You, muñeca.
You and your white privilege guilt de mierda.
- What? - Y ya la traigo hasta la madre.
De niña gringa consentida que me la paso por los huevos.
- Ya las traigo hasta la madre.
- What the fuck? We're in the middle of service.
Princess took my new guy to the bank.
No, you didn't.
So what? What'll make it right? 40 bucks for my time.
I don't know what you guys are talking about.
The kitchen boys are all undocumented.
Don't have bank accounts.
Manny cashes their checks.
Takes a little off the top.
You fucked up his flow.
You know, I was trying to help.
Don't.
It's wrong.
It works.
They pay more someplace else.
She's not paying you 40 bucks.
Your guy will pay you.
But she'll apologize.
Apologize.
- Whose side are you on? - My side.
Everyone gets paid and my kitchen is calm.
Apologize now, please.
Tick-fucking-tock.
I'm sorry.
Tus zapatos están en la basura.
Your shoes are in the garbage.
- What? - The garbage.
Really, Santos? Fuck this night.
Uh! What the fuck? You're slowing down the whole turnaround.
Fuck you, muff-diving come dumpster.
- What you think? - You can't be a muff diver - and a come dumpster at the same time.
- Guys, I'm trying to work.
Oh, somehow you managed it, baby.
Behind you.
I said, "Behind you.
" Jesus Christ.
Um, are you going to Ari's show? I am.
Cool, yeah, same.
She invited me, so Okay, cool.
Just so you know, mm I'm gonna meet up with my friend Chloe.
She might be there.
Okay, great.
Okay, good talk.
Where is he? Where is he? Where is he? Becky, sweetheart, what are you Fuck your sweet little ass, Nicky.
I wanna talk to Howard right now.
Where is he? You're not gonna tell me, motherfucker? - Asshole.
- Okay.
You wanna transfer me? - Not here.
Not here.
- Fuck you.
I didn't tell anyone.
You are showing your age right now.
Excuse me.
I'm sorry.
All right.
Little side of steak with your dinner theater tonight? Who lost a glass? Man of La Mancha next week, right here.
I saw this coming.
Sorry about that, gentlemen.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Nicky, four bottles of Billecart.
- Sam, a broom.
- Yeah.
Heather, can you ask pastry to bake off the chocolate chip? Yes, Howard.
Thank you.
Weird night.
Good for her.
She shouldn't have to put up with that shit at work.
No, listen, I mean, I love her, but Becky's unwell.
So you think she threw a a fit like that for no reason? Give me a break.
If I was GM, I'd fuck Becky.
- You're gross.
- "Weird night"? What was that? - Fuck Howard.
- You think he did it? Oh, God, no, he'd never.
Who cares? That man never promote me, ever.
His servers needs to be squeaky-clean sparkling beauty.
No fags, no fatties, no black people, no But I'm a server.
You're not black when you go to Georgetown school for perfect English.
Say that again and I'll kill you, - you illiterate fascist - Okay, guys, guys, quit it.
Stop.
Sasha.
Wait.
Heather.
Mwah! Bye-bye What the fuck is going on tonight? I have to go home, Sasha.
Is New York City, Baby Monster.
You don't have to do anything.
- It's up to you.
- No, I have my final trail tomorrow.
- I should.
- Then go.
Mm.
I don't want to.
What do you want? I wanna feel better.
How fucked up do you wanna get? Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
What does this one do? No more questions.
Makes you dancing queen.
Standing in the way of control Hey, I love your sardines.
- You mean my octopus.
- Yes, your octopus.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
Unprofessional.
What? You I Hey, hey, you okay? Yeah, I just I just can't I can't do this.
Oh, this is It was a mistake.
I'm sorry.
I just Baby Monster.
Baby Monster.
Ari's having an after-party.
Okay? Ari has a hotel room? Her parents gave her an emergency credit card as long as she stays in a business school.
Oh, look who showed up.
You talking shit about me again? Oh, no, of course not.
You little fucking liar.
- Never.
- Come here.
Hi, babe.
I need water.
We need treats.
Ah.
Mm-hmm-hmm.
Yuck.
Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh.
Xanax.
Bet it'll save us.
I am sweating.
And I'm freezing.
- Here.
- My face hurts.
Help me.
I have solution to all of that.
Ugh.
Your legs feel amazing.
Don't you ever stop what you're doing.
Baby Monster is Victoria's Angel.
For me.
Oh, yeah.
It was for Jake.
What did you expect? I didn't.
I hoped.
"Hope" is the ugliest word.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, yeah.
You okay? No wife.
No server.
No America.
I don't know how to stay.
If you don't become a server, I'm quitting.
Ha.
You're not even a real employee.
It's not fair.
Oh, baby doll face.
Nothing is fair.
You'll get used to it.
Howard think I'm a freak.
That is that.
God, it's fucked.
It's fucked.
You are the best back waiter.
You are precise.
You are faster.
You care.
Se secretly you care, Sasha, and you should have Howard's job.
And then you can fix it all.
You can put Scott's octopus on the menu and Manny's cash-checking things, stop it.
And and you can you can sponsor Santos' visa.
And and you can make front of house more diverse and hire more black people.
You you hire back Becky.
I mean, you say no to Simone.
You God, you could fire Simone if you wanted.
Oh, princess.
Tomorrow Jake will be back and you won't care about me or Howard or anything else.
Fine.
Gonna get more water.
Do you need anything? No.
Sasha? Oh.
Oh, my God.
Ah.
Any additions to the menu? I'll be needing an extra spoon for my assistant here.
Mm.
No, I don't wanna hurt you.
Already broken.
Ah, don't worry.
Um, I'll be out in a day or two.
- Okay? - Mm-hmm.
Never thought I'd end up here.
You're just an innocent baby.
When the trial comes, you'll be not guilty.
Mm-hmm.
- Sasha.
- Mm.
Did you fall? What you think, Baby Monster? That was scary.
It is scary.