Sweetbitter (2018) s02e03 Episode Script

Last Of The Season

1 WILL: Previously on Sweetbitter If I wanted you, I would have fucked you that night on the street.
I don't want you.
ARI: Mm, poor kid.
- TESS: Who? - ARI: Rosalyn.
Baby Jakey doesn't waste time.
Let's go see a movie or something, like real humans.
I was thinking the film forum.
I've been working there since film school.
We've worked together a long time, Howard arguably too long.
Maybe I'm ready for some changes around here.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
[A TRIBE CALLED QUEST'S "HAM 'N' EGGS".]
[MAN SCATTING.]
Ooh I don't eat no ham and eggs [CELL PHONE CHIMES.]
Hey, yo, Phife, do you eat 'em? No, Tip, do you eat 'em? - Uh-uh, not at all - Again I don't eat no ham and eggs 'Cause they're high in cholesterol Jarobi, do you eat 'em? Nope, Shah, do you eat 'em? - Nope, not at all - Hey A tisket, a tasket, what's in mama's basket? Some veggie links and some fish that stinks I said, "I shouldn't eat it" She said, "I think you should" But I can't, I'm plagued by vegetarians No cats and dogs, I'm not a veterinarian Strictly collard greens and a occasional steak WILL: Hey, Chef, what about some parsnips? SCOTT: Yeah, get some parsnips.
Get some of that and a case of beets.
Oh, uh, make that two.
And all the beets you've got.
I need more fucking color, man.
SCOTT: If the food doesn't look exciting, no one will eat it.
You know what I mean? Great.
Tess [LIGHT MUSIC.]
[DRAMATIC PERCUSSION.]
HEATHER: Well, we know Will didn't sleep last night.
MAN: Distilled white vinegar is the best.
WILL: Yeah, make sure the lid's tight.
- SCOTT: Mel Gibson got a DUI.
- MAN: Another DUI? [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
He's racist, but he's fantastic in Braveheart.
HEATHER: Mel Gibson can get it.
In eighths, if you want it to fit.
MAN: Uh, uh, two cloves of garlic and one sprig of dill, okay? Thank you.
It's pretty great, huh? [LAUGHS.]
Yeah, the, uh, smell is particularly wonderful.
Yeah, somewhere between urine and boiling bleach.
It's the halophiles the smell.
"Halophiles"? SCOTT: Microorganisms that live in the brine.
They make the acid that preserves everything.
WOMAN: I have too much garlic.
WILL: Looks good.
Now you just pick a brine Um, I would do the lavender one with, like, the turnips or the, uh the fennel.
[LAUGHS.]
You love pickling day, huh? Yeah.
I mean, not long ago, people preserved to survive the whole winter, not just the next five minutes.
I appreciate long-term vision.
[SCOFFS.]
You know you are gonna make some Midwest girl so happy one day.
Isn't Ohio the Midwest? [LAUGHS.]
Cute.
That was cute.
[CHUCKLES.]
Ooh.
[LAUGHTER.]
SCOTT: Okay, I want my prep kitchen back in 20 minutes.
[UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC.]
Uh, sorry.
Excuse me, miss.
Can I help you with something? How many days is a New York strip dry-aged? Uh, 60 days.
What temperature? 36 degrees Fahrenheit.
Is there What year did this restaurant open? Uh, July 10th, uh, 1987.
What are the names of the dishwashers? Santos, Desmond, uh, Papi - Papi? - Alonzo.
Who's the owner of this establishment? Maddie Glov You're Maddie Glover.
You're Maddie I'm so sorry.
I-I've seen pictures, obviously.
You just y-you you look different.
C'est Le chef.
Quelle surprise.
Bonjour, Mon Ami.
- When did you get in? - Oh, last night from Tokyo.
It was a total fucking nightmare.
- Simone, you are a dream.
- [LAUGHS.]
Tell me what's going on in my restaurant.
Chef.
To what do we owe this surprise? SIMONE: Maddie just got back from Tokyo.
Usually we get a few weeks' notice before your fall visit.
Well, I'm leaving for Las Vegas for a month tomorrow, so I thought today was the perfect day to taste the menu.
Of course.
Howard, why don't you come sit with me? Simone, you'll take care of us.
Just originals.
No specials.
SIMONE: Of course.
[FOOTSTEPS DEPARTING.]
Wha I like, I-I thought this was Howard's restaurant, like Howard was the boss.
ARI: Oh, no.
Maddie's the boss.
And when she's here, Howard's her little bitch.
- It's awesome.
- [BOTH LAUGH.]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER, LAUGHTER.]
[GENTLE JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING.]
TESS: What do you think they're talking about? Chernobyl.
Hey, I, uh, think I owe you an apology.
Yeah, no shit.
I can be a prick sometimes, so Two Camparis and check the water levels.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
[LAUGHTER.]
- Hey.
- Hi.
See you later.
[WATER POURING.]
[WATER SPLASHING.]
- Oh! - Shit.
[GRUNTS.]
- Oh, sorry.
- I got it.
- Sorry, sorry.
- It's okay.
It's okay.
TESS: I'm so sorry.
[SIGHS.]
I'll just get you a new one.
When you first enter a space, what are you looking for? Uh, excuse me? When you first walk in, do you want a place to call your own, or do you want to be moved by a-a grand vision? You're in college, aren't you? Um, no.
- I'm not in college.
- Hmm.
Okay.
Cabernet.
Carefully.
[WINE POURING.]
A surprise tasting.
She's torture.
She's a sadist, a fucking terrorist.
You got this, Scott.
She hasn't been relevant since 1989.
Which explains the Crocs.
I'm actually liking her new Tex-Mex place in Red Hook.
Tex-Mex is not a valid food genre.
Is it a crime to love mixed trouble? SIMONE: How's it going, Scott? Almost there.
Almost there.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
So you and Maddie Glover are friends.
I'm not sure Maddie Glover has friends, but I'm definitely a fan.
She opened this place right out of culinary school.
She was only 26.
- 26? - Mm-hmm.
Now, seven restaurants later, she's writing books.
She's doing a television show.
Maddie doesn't wait for anything.
I've always admired that about her.
Uh, missed a spot.
[GRUNTS.]
Perfect.
She was 26? What are you, like, 28, 30? [WHISPERING.]
What are we doing with our lives? - Hi, Will.
- Hi, how are you? I know what it is.
You know what it is? He has a different haircut.
- [WILL LAUGHS.]
- Maybe.
Yeah.
Last time I was in, it was more of a Caesar cut.
I don't I don't think so.
I've had this, uh, haircut since I was in high school.
Oh, then you were this handsome in high school? [LAUGHS.]
Um I was voted, uh, "Most Thoughtful.
" - GISELLE: [LAUGHS.]
Aww.
- GABE: That's so cute.
- Can we just take you home with us? - Yeah.
Miss, will you bring us a doggy bag? - Absolutely.
- Thank you.
[LAUGHS.]
Thanks, guys.
- Shut up.
- High school? GISELLE: Will? - Will.
- Yeah? - Can we ask you a question? - Sure.
MADDIE: The lights above the bar are too bright.
There's scuff marks on the hostess stand.
Table 11 is too close to the wall.
The water pitchers look old.
And I tasted Cafiza in my espresso.
- Consider it done.
- By the way the flowers are a little too pink.
Says the woman who picked pink chairs.
SIMONE: Here we are.
The fall menu.
Roast chicken and spinach Mmm.
Local squash MADDIE: That looks lovely.
And the salmon.
MADDIE: Merci, Simone.
- Bon appétit.
- Stay.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
Mmm.
Who's doing your blonde? Um, I am going all the way to the Upper West Side, but it is worth it.
The cedar plank salmon, your signature dish.
- [TINES SCRAPE.]
- [CHEWING.]
[INHALES DEEPLY.]
- Behind.
- [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
SCOTT: What does she want next, the grilled cheese sandwich her Nana used to make her? I'm gonna have to ask you to pack your knives and leave the premises.
Are you fucking serious? What, is it last month's food cost? HOWARD: Chef just thinks you have a little too much vision.
"Vision"? [SCOFFS.]
Is that what you think? Me? I think you have the right amount of vision, but you changed the salmon, Scott.
- This much.
- Still.
That salmon was tourist trap shit on the menu before, and now it's got structure.
I know she fucking knows that.
It's her kitchen.
Wow.
You're a miserable, castrated bitch, Howard! I've got the vision to see that! HOWARD: Hey! Just pack your stuff and go.
[WHISPERING.]
Who's gonna cook? You.
You did such a good job with the pickles.
[JAUNTY MUSIC.]
Listen up! Welcome back, Chef.
MADDIE: Let's go, people.
- ALL: Yes, Chef.
- MADDIE: Rest of the night.
- ALL: Yes, Chef.
- Got it, Chef.
Yes, Chef.
Chef, we got a It'll enhance the way that they interact.
We'll sustainably repurpose the elevated infrastructure that exists.
It'll be enough to walk all the way from West Village to Midtown.
It'll be more than just a park.
It'll be art, gardens, sculpture SIMONE: Have you met the not-so-new girl, Tess? I have.
When Tess enters a space, first thing she wants to do is pour water on everything.
[LAUGHS.]
- I didn't mean - Tess, this is Omar Gamal.
Omar is working on a new building up at Columbia.
Which is why you asked me SIMONE: Can we get you anything else, Omar? I'm good for the moment.
[LIGHT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING.]
[CLEARS THROAT.]
So what's his deal? He is one of the most famous architects in the world.
Really? Hmm.
Could never tell.
He is literally transforming the West Side of Manhattan.
Is that why he's kind of rude? He is not rude.
He's an actual genius.
We must all make allowances.
Do you think he's handsome? - He's kind of old.
- He's kind of my age.
[LAUGHS.]
We had a night together.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
It was a long time ago.
Fourth of July in Amagansett.
Too much sangria.
- Oh.
- Mm.
There are some men who change the way you think about sex.
- Oh, did you hear about Scott? - I saw it.
That's what happens when you forget that you're replaceable.
[UNEASY MUSIC.]
WILL: So, uh, this is kind of weird.
- SASHA: Mm.
- I-I just got the craziest offer.
- Uh - What? You know those, um those two art gallery people, Gabe and Giselle? [CHUCKLES.]
Do I? Lively people.
Yeah, yeah, they they, um they they are lively, indeed.
Um, they, uh actually, they want me to go home with them.
Well No, not a threesome.
They want me to masturbate.
[LOUD WHISPER.]
Masturbate? Shh.
They yeah, they want me to masturbate in front of them, and they want to pay me.
- Isn't that hilarious? - How much? That's not the point.
How much? Five grand.
Joy.
My life has been hollow shell, and that fills me with the greatest joy.
Relax.
I'm not doing it.
It's one minute! Maybe two because of nerves.
- Shh, c-come - WILL: No.
Tell him he must masturbate for money.
It's Gabe and Giselle.
They're so freaky.
[LAUGHS.]
He'll never do it.
No, not Will.
What do you mean, "not Will"? Who would? Oh, Jake, Sasha Yes, please! Me.
Scott ooh.
RIP Scott.
SASHA: What about you? I'm running for office someday.
I can't.
- I'm sure.
- What's your excuse? - I don't want to.
- ARI: Yeah.
It'd scar your puppy-dog soul for life.
- I'm not a - Shh! Don't listen to Black Betty and Jewish Veronica.
- Will you need this.
- Okay.
- We need this.
- Sasha you're hilarious, but I'm not prostituting myself just to give your life meaning.
I'm I'm good being me.
[MADDIE HUMMING.]
Do you like working here? I love it.
Someone better get me another parsley salad that doesn't look like a rabbit shit it out.
MAN: Yes, Chef.
Do you need something? Uh, yes, Chef.
I would like to request a complimentary item the foie gras as dessert.
I know it's crazy, but I think it tastes like peanut butter and jelly.
[TRANQUIL MUSIC.]
Hmm.
I like it.
Fire one foie.
MAN: Right, Chef.
One foie gras.
Trust your instincts.
[PERCUSSIVE MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS.]
How is your meal so far? Maddie got under your skin tonight.
15 and 23 still don't have entrées.
Who's left to cook? SIMONE: Maybe you're just not comfortable with a woman in power.
HOWARD: Not fair.
I've worked for Maddie for 17 years.
My problem she wants this restaurant to be a tomb to 1987.
Scott changed the salmon.
Don't you think that's important for Maddie to know? Scott was not only the best sous chef in the city.
He kept the menu alive.
He was evolving things.
We all have to do it.
The guests think they are coming back for the same dish year after year, but if it were really the same, they'd stop coming.
There is a subtle art to staying relevant.
That is what I do.
And yet, it doesn't say your name on the menu Howard.
[TRANQUIL MUSIC.]
Mr.
Gamal? With compliments.
I know it's savory, but the strawberry preserves are house-made.
I saw it myself.
It's very rich.
And I'm not looking.
When I first enter a space, I wait for a feeling.
What does that mean? That's vague.
I want to feel welcome.
OMAR: Interesting.
TESS: The city is Intimidating, confrontational almost, and it never lets you settle, which I love about it, but sometimes you just want to feel Like you have a quiet place.
Enjoy.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
More wine? [DESOLATE MUSIC.]
Okay, I know everyone thinks I won't do it, and Is this about masturbating for money? And I'm not going to, but I came to New York to be an artist.
- I have an edge.
- Will What? And I don't think masturbating in front of a stranger proves anything.
Okay, well, is there any part of you that wants to do it? I mean, of course, sure.
It's $5,000.
That's not what I mean.
Look, I didn't get the offer, but I moved here to push myself.
When I do, when I surprise myself, I like how it feels.
Besides, 5,000 bucks is a fuck-ton of money.
Your VIP at the bar told me to give you this.
Said it was the address to his new project.
Said it was a quiet place.
Thanks.
Seriously? Where's Rosalyn? [CHUCKLES.]
[DOOR OPENS.]
HOWARD: There you are.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
Exhausted? Exhilarated.
Sit down.
[CHUCKLES.]
Last of the season.
Some idiot was giving these away at the green market.
[SCOFFS.]
I mean look at this gorgeous thing.
May I? Mm.
Mmm Tess.
Come here.
Before you go, I want you to try something.
Oh, I, uh I think I cut one of these this morning to pickle.
The hell with pickling.
Eating is in the moment.
I mean, tomorrow this tomato's gonna be rotten.
What we have here is perfectly ripe, a thing of beauty.
[CHUCKLES.]
Mmm.
[TRANQUIL MUSIC.]
[CHUCKLES.]
You are dismissed.
Thank you.
- Have a good night.
- [FOOTSTEPS DEPARTING.]
[DOOR OPENS.]
[SIGHS.]
I remember you when you were that age.
- [DOOR CLOSES.]
- I was never that age.
What was that thing you were into? The theater thing? Acting? You still doing it? My job keeps me pretty busy, and I like it.
[SIGHS.]
Oh, Howard.
[SIGHS.]
I really needed tonight.
I miss cooking.
You're still the best.
That said, I'm hiring Scott back, with a small raise as an incentive.
Fine.
Do whatever you want.
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING.]
Good night.
Bonne nuit, Simone.
Good night.
[FOOTSTEPS DEPARTING.]
- [DOOR OPENS.]
- MADDIE: Mmm.
- So what was really - [DOOR CLOSES.]
With the surprise visit? You've never done that.
Simone called you, didn't she? Don't be mad.
She has the restaurant's best interests at heart.
That's why we get along so well.
I am going home.
You still have a key? Are you kidding? - [KEYS JINGLE.]
- [HOWARD CHUCKLES.]
- [KEYS CLATTER.]
- Good night.
Bye, honey.
[GOSSIP'S "DARK LINES".]
Heavy makeup Doesn't cover up The many sleepless nights - GABE: There he is.
- Hi.
It's nice.
I can't hide Come on in.
Follow me.
The circles underneath my eyes Ooh Why me? Don't be nervous.
We have pornography if you like.
I, um Okay, listen we're not gonna touch you.
We're not even gonna take our clothes off.
We'd like to watch and enjoy you.
- GISELLE: You're beautiful.
- GABE: Yeah.
Then we take that energy back to our marriage.
Staring back at me Right, so, um, do I just, uh - just take my clothes off? - Sure.
That'd be lovely.
Why me? Do you have another case of this? Yes.
You paint a picture Of a sad and long winter Oh, when you were mine Sometimes I hear you talking Take a seat.
Your reflection in my coffee And I can't stop crying GISELLE: Oh, sorry.
Here.
Why me? Whenever you're ready.
Looks like he's ready.
I go to parties And all I see Is a room full of faces Staring back at me Tell me why [GRUNTS.]
[SHUDDERS.]
Tell me why me [GASPS.]
Ooh, tell me why [GROANS.]
[SIGHS.]
Ooh, why me? Thank you.
You're welcome.
I heard Scott lit his whites on fire and left them in the dumpster.
She should have fucking fired Howard.
- Fucking fire Simone.
- Yes.
ARI: Sasha, slow the fuck down.
HEATHER: Ugh, Ari, why are you buying him shots? - Stop! - I didn't buy him shots.
How about I get this round? - Hey! - Hello, hello! - Yeah.
- Willy.
- HEATHER: Where you been? - Sit.
Can't I do something nice for my friends? - SASHA: Where'd you go? - Oh, yes, Daddy.
- Please.
- SASHA: Wait.
You never buy.
- Wait a Oh, my God! - Okay, wait a second.
- You did it! - You fucking pervert! I want commission now, you dirty, - dirty boy.
- HEATHER: I can't believe you! - You dirty boy! - What is wrong with you guys? Wait.
Dirty boy.
You didn't do it.
[PERCUSSIVE MUSIC OVER SPEAKERS.]
- SASHA: What? - Of course I didn't.
Oh.
- [LAUGHS.]
- Okay, so disappointed.
HEATHER: I knew he wouldn't.
Shouldn't be having that.
Oh, he's Will.
Sweet Will.
[LAUGHS.]
Never change.
I'm going.
I'm gonna go.
- Why? - Fair Rosaline, don't leave us.
You coming? I'm gonna stay.
You should go.
Yeah.
- ARI: No, don't go! - HEATHER: No! SASHA: Let her go.
HEATHER: That's so rude.
- Why? - Hey, wait, where's, uh where's Tess? I don't know.
SASHA: Uh, somewhere on the West Side.
- SASHA: [SPEAKING RUSSIAN.]
- Come on, what are you good for? Buy us some more shots.
[SIREN WAILING IN THE DISTANCE.]
[TRANQUIL MUSIC.]
[THUNDER RUMBLES.]
[THE LAST TOWN CHORUS'S "WIRE WALTZ".]
[THUNDER BOOMS.]
You waltz me through Wire I can't even See you You waltz me through The wire One, two, three, one, two, three One