Tales from the Crypt (1989) s04e02 Episode Script

This'll Kill Ya

AAA! HA HA HA! AAA! HA HA HA! [HEARTBEAT.]
[HEARTBEAT.]
DAMN! I LOVE WHEN THAT HAPPENS! YOU DIDN'T KNOW YOUR OLD FRIEND THE CRYPT KEEPER WAS THE BOO-IT-YOURSELF TYPE, DID YOU? I'M ACTUALLY PRETTY HANDY WITH MY LITTLE GHOUL BOX.
HERE'S A BOOKSHELF I JUST FINISHED FOR MY DIEBRARY.
OVER THERE'S A STAND I MADE FOR MY NEW BIG-SCREAM TV.
AND HERE'S SOMETHING ELSE I'VE BEEN WORKING ON.
IT'S A NASTY NUGGET ABOUT AN UNPLEASANT YOUNG MAN IN THE MEDICINE BIZ WHO'S ABOUT TO GET A DOSE OF HIS OWN.
I CALL TONIGHT'S TALE THIS'LL KILL YA.
I CALL TONIGHT'S TALE THIS'LL KILL YA.
HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! I'M DEAD AND THIS IS THE GUY THAT KILLED ME.
AND THIS IS THE GUY THAT KILLED ME.
O.
K.
, BUDDY.
JUST RAISE YOUR HANDS.
KEEP THEM WHERE I CAN SEE THEM.
GO AHEAD AND SHOOT ME NOW.
IT DOESN'T MATTER.
IT DOESN'T MATTER.
YOU SEE, I'M DEAD ALREADY.
YOU SEE, I'M DEAD ALREADY.
SON-OF-A-BITCH! SON-OF-A-BITCH! I SHOULD'VE SEEN IT COMING.
I SHOULD'VE SEEN IT COMING.
I SHOULD'VE SEEN IT COMING.
I SHOULD'VE SEEN IT COMING.
[BELL RINGS.]
OH, GOD.
I MUST HAVE BEEN CRAZY TO LET YOU GET AWAY.
YOU DIDN'T LET ME GET AWAY, GEORGE.
I KICKED YOU OUT.
I KICKED YOU OUT.
OKAY, I GIVE UP.
WHERE DID YOU PUT YOUR INSULIN? IT SHOULD BE IN THE BACK.
SECOND SHELF, I THINK.
SECOND SHELF, I THINK.
WHY DID YOU PUT YOUR INSULIN HERE? IT WAS THE ONLY PLACE I COULD FIND.
ONE OF THESE DAYS, WE'LL MIX IT UP WITH THE H-CELL-24 AND ACCIDENTALLY INJECT YOUR INSULIN INTO ONE OF THE LAB RATS.
INTO ONE OF THE LAB RATS.
IT WOULDN'T HURT THEM.
WORST-CASE SCENARIO IS WE GET A RAT WITH A HARD-ON FOR HERSHEY KISSES.
NO, NOT YOU, MIKE.
LISTEN.
I'LL CALL YOU BACK TOMORROW.
NO.
WAIT.
O.
K.
? YOU GOT TO BE THERE FOR ME, MIKE.
WOULD YOU MIND DOING THE HONORS? GEORGE, I'VE GOT WORK TO DO, TOO, YOU KNOW? WHEN WILL YOU LEARN TO DO THIS YOURSELF? NEVER.
I HATE NEEDLES.
BESIDES, I LOVE THE THOUGHT OF A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN CAUSING ME INTENSE PHYSICAL PAIN.
IF ONLY THAT WERE THE CASE.
COME ON.
COME ON, BABY.
YOU ARE ONE BEAUTIFUL WOMAN.
I WAS TALKING ABOUT THE PAIN.
I WAS TALKING ABOUT THE PAIN.
AH.
AH.
THANKS A LOT.
THANKS A LOT.
MY PLEASURE.
[DOOR OPENS.]
GEORGE, YOU ARE A SON-OF-A-BITCH! I JUST WANT YOU TO EXPLAIN WHY YOU CONTINUE TO DO THIS.
DO WHAT? GEORGE PUT OUT ANOTHER PRESS RELEASE WITHOUT TELLING US.
YOU DIDN'T.
OH, YES, HE DID.
HE REALLY WENT TO TOWN.
"MR.
GEORGE GATLIN ASSERTED "THAT HE AND HIS PARTNERS, "PACK BRIGHTMAN AND SOPHIE WAGNER, "HAVE DEVELOPED A HYBRID CELL "THAT WILL REVOLUTIONIZE DISEASE TREATMENT "BY BREEDING THE DISEASE OUT OF IT.
"OUR RESULTS, SAYS MR.
GATLIN, "SHOW THAT H-CELL-24 WILL BE BOTH INEXPENSIVE AND SAFE.
" YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT, PACK? GEORGE, YOU TOLD THEM WE'RE READY FOR HUMAN TESTING? WE WILL BE.
YEAH, MAYBE IF WE CAN DEMONSTRATE THE H-CELL'S SAFE.
THE H-CELL-24 WORKS BEAUTIFULLY, EXCEPT WE CAN'T ALWAYS MAKE IT STOP.
IF WE INJECT THAT INTO A HUMAN BEING IT WOULD PROBABLY KILL THEM.
IF WE CAN'T TURN THE CELL OFF, IT WILL CONTINUE TO REPRODUCE ITSELF UNTIL IT INVADES AND DESTROYS EVERY SYSTEM IN THAT PERSON'S BODY.
IT'D BE HORRIFYING, AND WE WOULD BE RESPONSIBLE.
WE'D BE MURDERERS.
DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND? IF WE WANT TO CONTINUE TO RECEIVE FUNDING, WE HAVE TO HAVE RESULTS.
NO RESULTS, NO FUNDING.
CAPISCE? SO YOU WILL JUST HAVE TO GET THOSE RESULTS.
HE'S COMPLETELY LOST SIGHT OF WHY WE'RE DOING THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE.
THIS ISN'T SOME GOD DAMN RACE TO THE BANK.
THIS ISN'T ABOUT MONEY.
YOU ARE JUST BEING A SELFISH EGOTISTICAL NOW WAIT JUST A SECOND.
LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING PROFESSOR BRIGHTMAN.
YOU THINK YOU GOT TENURE SO QUICKLY BECAUSE EVERYONE LIKES YOU.
FUCK NO! IT IS BECAUSE YOU INVOLVED IN SOME HIGH PROFILE, HIGHLY PAID RESEARCH BECAUSE OF ME! HIGHLY PAID RESEARCH BECAUSE OF ME! BECAUSE OF ME.
AND IF I HAVE TO DO CERTAIN THINGS TO MAINTAIN THAT PROFILE FOR YOU.
THEN YOU BETTER KEEP YOUR BIG MOUTH SHUT! THEN YOU BETTER KEEP YOUR BIG MOUTH SHUT! YOU'RE OUT OF FREAKIN' MIND.
I'M OUT OF HERE.
PACK, PACK, COME BACK HERE.
PACK, PACK, COME BACK HERE.
GOOD DAY, WAS IT? RIGHT.
A REAL PRIZE-WINNER.
HEY, I THOUGHT I'D FIND YOU HERE SLUMMING IT.
PLEASE, GEORGE.
I CAME HERE IN SEARCH OF A LITTLE PEACE.
THAT MAKES TWO OF US.
CINDY, HOW YOU DOING, BABY? CINDY, HOW YOU DOING, BABY? UH, MARTY, I'M GOING TO HAVE THE USUAL.
YOU GOT IT.
AND ONE MORE OF WHATEVER THE LADY'S HAVING, ON ME, OF COURSE.
COME ON, BABY.
YOU'RE NOT STILL ANGRY, ARE YOU? I BET YOU EVEN AGREE WITH ME, DON'T YOU? ARE YOU REALLY THIS STUPID? THE LAST TIME YOU PULLED A STUNT LIKE THIS WAS BAD ENOUGH-- TELLING THAT VENTURE CAPITALIST THE H-CELL-24 WAS PATENTED.
IT WAS PATENTED.
RIGHT.
SIX MONTHS AFTER YOU TOLD HIM.
YOU COULD HAVE COMPROMISED THE WHOLE PROJECT.
WE DIDN'T, THOUGH, DID WE? DID WE? NO.
THAT'S NOT THE POINT.
SOME OF US CARE ABOUT OUR INTEGRITY, YOU KNOW? HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE? A COUPLE MONTHS? IF YOU GUYS SHARED MORE INFORMATION, WE COULD DO THIS QUICKER.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY WE DON'T.
YOU CAN NOT BE TRUSTED.
YOU CAN TAKE YOUR INTEGRITY AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS, BECAUSE YOU LOVE SEEING YOUR NAME IN THE PAPERS.
NOW DON'T TELL ME THAT'S NOT TRUE.
AND AS FOR MY GOOD BUDDY PACK, YOU DON'T THINK HE GETS A HARD-ON THINKING WHAT A GOOD PERSON HE IS, DO YOU? TRUST ME, YOU DON'T KNOW HIM LIKE I DO.
I KNOW HIM! I KNOW HIM! YOU AMAZE ME.
YOU REALLY THINK EVERYONE IS AS MERCENARY AS YOU ARE.
OH, NO.
NO.
NO.
I'M NOT A MERCENARY.
YOU SEE, I'M HONEST.
YOU SEE, I'M HONEST.
I THINK THAT MAYBE WE SHOULD GO BACK TO YOUR PLACE TONIGHT.
WHAT DO YOU THINK? WHAT DO YOU THINK? I DON'T THINK SO, DEAR.
RIGHT NOW, THE IDEA OF BEING INTIMATE WITH YOU MAKES ME SICK.
MAKES ME SICK.
CAN'T LIVE WITH THEM, AND YOU CAN'T BE ONE.
CAN'T LIVE WITH THEM, AND YOU CAN'T BE ONE.
[WATER RUNNING.]
[WATER RUNNING.]
HI, HONEY.
I'M HOME.
SON OF A BITCH.
SON OF A BITCH.
GET OUT! GET OUT.
DO WE HAVE TO DO THIS DANCE EVERY TIME? OUT! I'M NOT DANCING, GEORGE.
GOD, WHAT WAS I THINKING ABOUT WHEN I GAVE YOU THE KEY? WHEN I GAVE YOU THE KEY? YOU WERE BEING NOSTALGIC, BABY.
HUH? YOUNG FLESH.
YOU WERE THINKING HOW NICE IT WOULD BE IF FROM TIME TO TIME YOU WOKE UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT HUH? AND YOU FOUND ME FOUND ME ON TOP OF YOU.
YOU FOUND ME BEHIND YOU.
BEST OF ALL YOU FOUND ME INSIDE OF YOU.
BEST OF ALL YOU FOUND ME INSIDE OF YOU.
FUCK YOU! NO, FUCK YOU.
NO, FUCK YOU.
COME ON, BABY, BE NICE.
COME ON, BABY, BE NICE.
COME ON, THAT'S RIGHT.
COME ON, THAT'S RIGHT.
I HATE TO EAT AND RUN, BUT I HAVE SOME WORK DOWN AT THE LAB.
BUT I HAVE SOME WORK DOWN AT THE LAB.
YOU ARE LIKE A BAD HABIT.
EVERY TIME I LET YOU BACK INTO MY BED, I REMEMBER WHY I KICKED YOU OUT.
I'LL BE BACK, TOO.
YOU CAN COUNT ON IT.
I'LL BE BACK, TOO.
YOU CAN COUNT ON IT.
COME ON, BABY.
I GOT WORK TO DO.
WHAT? WHAT? DID YOU TELL PACK WE'RE SLEEPING TOGETHER? WHY WOULD I TELL HIM THAT? WHO CARES WHAT HE KNOWS? I DO.
IT'S BAD ENOUGH THAT WE'RE DOING THIS.
I THINK IT WOULD BE VERY DETRIMENTAL TO OUR PARTNERSHIP IF PACK THOUGHT WE WERE STILL INVOLVED.
IF PACK THOUGHT WE WERE STILL INVOLVED.
WE'RE NOT STILL INVOLVED.
WE'RE NOT STILL INVOLVED.
ARE WE? ARE WE? HMM? IF YOU'RE LEAVING, LEAVE.
IF YOU'RE LEAVING, LEAVE.
JUST DO ME ONE FAVOR.
STOP FIGHTING WITH PACK.
YEP.
SURE.
WHATEVER.
DON'T PATRONIZE ME, YOU ASSHOLE.
DON'T PATRONIZE ME, YOU ASSHOLE.
DR.
BRIGHTMAN.
DR.
BRIGHTMAN.
LISTEN.
I'M SORRY ABOUT YESTERDAY.
LISTEN.
I'M SORRY ABOUT YESTERDAY.
I APOLOGIZE.
I MEAN IT.
I EVEN MADE YOU A CUP OF COFFEE.
WOULD I DO THAT IF I DIDN'T MEAN IT? WHAT DO YOU WANT, GEORGE? IN ALL THE YEARS I'VE KNOWN YOU, YOU NEVER APOLOGIZE UNLESS YOU WANT SOMETHING.
I DON'T WANT ANYTHING.
YOU WERE RIGHT.
I SHOULD HAVE CONSULTED YOU AND SOPHIE FIRST.
END OF STORY.
MY FAULT.
I'M SORRY.
YOU WON'T DO THAT AGAIN, RIGHT? NOW WAIT A SECOND, I DON'T TELL YOU HOW TO DO YOU JOB? OCCASIONALLY, YES.
WELL, I WON'T DO THAT AGAIN.
WELL, I WON'T DO THAT AGAIN.
O.
K.
I WILL HOLD YOU TO THAT.
I KNOW YOU WILL.
I KNOW YOU WILL.
I PICKED UP A FEW THINGS FROM YOU ALONG THE WAY.
I'M NOT TOTALLY OBLIVIOUS TO THE REAL WORLD, AS YOU MIGHT THINK.
WHILE YOU'RE THERE, WOULD YOU GET MY WORKS? I'M NOT YOUR NURSE.
I'M NOT YOUR NURSE.
DON'T SWEAT IT.
I'LL BE PERFECTLY HAPPY TO STICK IT TO HIM.
I'LL BE PERFECTLY HAPPY TO STICK IT TO HIM.
DON'T DO THAT.
DON'T! DON'T! DON'T! I GRABBED THE WRONG VIAL.
IT WAS ON THE SAME SHELF WITH THE INSULIN.
IT WAS ON THE SAME SHELF WITH THE INSULIN.
[SOPHIE.]
IT'S 50 CCS, GEORGE.
THERE ARE BILLIONS OF H-CELLS IN THERE.
LISTEN.
I--I'M NOT GOING TO DIE, AM I? IT'S NOT GOING TO KILL ME, IS IT? YOU GOT TO INJECT ME WITH SOMETHING THAT TURNS IT OFF.
THAT'S WHAT WE TRIED TO TELL YOU YESTERDAY.
WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING! WE'RE AT LEAST SIX MONTHS AWAY! SIX MONTHS? THAT'S WHY WE WERE SO PISSED OFF WITH YOU YESTERDAY.
ONCE WE START THE PROCESS, WE CANNOT STOP IT.
FIND SOMETHING AND TURN IT OFF! FIND SOMETHING AND TURN IT OFF! WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN TO ME? PACK WILL COME UP WITH SOMETHING.
TELL ME THE TRUTH.
HONESTLY.
HONESTLY.
AS THE H-CELL SPREADS THROUGH YOUR BODY AS THE H-CELL SPREADS THROUGH YOUR BODY IT'LL BEGIN GROWING TUMORS ALL OVER THE PLACE.
ALL OVER THE PLACE.
SORRY, GEORGE.
I'VE BEEN TRYING TO MAKE THE ANTIDOTE WORK, BUT IT'S JUST TOO TOXIC.
IF I INJECT YOU WITH IT, IT'LL KILL YOU.
HOW LONG DO I HAVE? COUPLE OF HOURS MAYBE.
COUPLE OF HOURS MAYBE.
GEORGE! GEORGE! I GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE.
I GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE.
[BUSY SIGNAL.]
[BUSY SIGNAL.]
HA HA HA! HA HA HA! O.
K.
, GEORGE? O.
K.
, GEORGE? I BEEN BETTER, MARTY.
HA HA HA! SURE YOU DON'T WANT ANOTHER DRINK? NO.
I JUST CAME IN TO USE YOUR PHONE.
I CAN'T GET SOPHIE.
I KEEP GETTING A BUSY SIGNAL.
REALLY? THAT'S FUNNY.
SHE WAS HERE EARLIER WITH PACK.
THEY WERE IN HERE? YEAH.
THEY WERE RIGHT DOWN THERE.
YEAH.
THEY WERE RIGHT DOWN THERE.
GEORGE.
GEORGE, YOU ALL RIGHT? GEORGE, YOU ALL RIGHT? YEAH.
YEAH.
YEAH.
YEAH.
HA HA HA! HA HA HA! I'M--I'M--I'M O.
K.
I'M--I'M--I'M O.
K.
NOW, WAIT A SECOND.
YOU'RE SURE THAT THEY WERE IN HERE? YEAH.
DOWN AT THE END.
CELEBRATING SOMETHING, IT LOOKED LIKE.
CELEBRATING SOMETHING, IT LOOKED LIKE.
THANKS, MARTY.
THANKS A LOT.
THANKS, GEORGE.
TAKE CARE, PAL.
O.
K.
, BUDDY.
O.
K.
, BUDDY.
SOPHIE? [TELEPHONE RINGS.]
[TELEPHONE RINGS.]
SOPHIE! [RING.]
SOPHIE.
SOPHIE.
[ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS.]
SOPHIE.
IT'S PACK.
YOU THERE? SOPHIE.
LISTEN.
I'VE GOT TO TALK TO YOU.
I'M STILL FEELING GUILTY AS HELL ABOUT GEORGE-- WITH HIS INSULIN AND ALL.
I'M NOT SAYING YOU WEREN'T RIGHT.
IT HAD TO BE DONE, BUT CALL ME, O.
K.
? OR BETTER YET, MEET ME AT THE LAB.
THERE'S SOME STUFF I WANT TO SHOW YOU.
[BEEP.]
[BEEP.]
[TYPING ON COMPUTER.]
[TYPING ON COMPUTER.]
DR.
BRIGHTMAN.
DR.
BRIGHTMAN.
GEORGE.
HOW YOU FEELING? I GOT SOMETHING TO TELL YOU.
I FEEL PRETTY GOOD.
I FOUND A CURE.
AAH! AAH! WHAT A SWEET STROKE THAT WAS.
GEORGE, IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK.
GEORGE, IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN.
I UNDERSTAND.
I UNDERSTAND.
YOU AND THAT BITCH TRIED TO CUT ME OUT OF WHAT IS MINE! OF WHAT IS MINE! THAT'S WHY YOU FUCKED WITH MY INSULIN.
YOU FUCKED WITH MY INSULIN.
YOUR WORDS, PACK.
YOUR WORDS, PACK.
I HEARD YOU SAY THEM.
I HEARD YOU SAY THEM.
I MADE IT EASY FOR YOU, DIDN'T I? LETTING YOU SHOOT ME UP.
WHAT AN IDIOT.
LETTING YOU SHOOT ME UP.
WHAT AN IDIOT.
TWO CAN PLAY THE INSULIN GAME.
UHH! UHH! SO LONG, BRIGHTMAN.
SO LONG, BRIGHTMAN.
SO LONG.
SO LONG.
SO, GO AHEAD.
SO, GO AHEAD.
GET IT OVER WITH.
BY NOW, I'M RIDDLED WITH TUMORS.
BY NOW, I'M RIDDLED WITH TUMORS.
YOU'D BE DOING ME A FAVOR.
YOU'D BE DOING ME A FAVOR.
[DOOR OPENS.]
GEORGE.
GEORGE.
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? WHAT HAVEIDONE? YOU'RE THE ONES THAT KILLEDME.
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.
THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU, GEORGE.
YOU'RE NOT DYING.
YOU'RE NOT DYING.
WE DID NOT INJECT YOU WITH THE H-CELL.
WE DOCTORED YOUR INSULIN AND ADDED A LITTLE SOMETHING TO MAKE YOU FEEL SICK.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? WE WERE TRYING TO TEACH YOU A LESSON BEFORE WE TOLD YOU THE GOOD NEWS.
DIDN'T YOU SEE WHAT PACK WAS PRINTING? DIDN'T YOU SEE WHAT PACK WAS PRINTING? WE DID IT.
WE SOLVED THE PROBLEM.
WE DID IT.
WE SOLVED THE PROBLEM.
THE H-CELL WORKS.
THE H-CELL WORKS.
HOW ABOUT THAT GEORGE? TALK ABOUT CONNECTING WITH YOUR FRIENDS.
THERE.
FINISHED.
SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK, KIDDIES? BEAUTIFUL, ISN'T IT? I'VE ALWAYS WANTED A SWING SET, JUST A LITTLE SOMETHING FOR WHEN I'M HANGING OUT WATCHING THE NOOSE.
HA HA HA! SEE YOU NEXT TIME.
HA HA HA! NOW, THAT'S WHAT I CALL WELL-HUNG.
HA HA HA HA HA! CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL PUBLIC PERFORMANCE OF CAPTIONS PROHIBITED WITHOUT PERMISSION OF PUBLIC PERFORMANCE OF CAPTIONS PROHIBITED WITHOUT PERMISSION OF
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