Tales from the Crypt (1989) s05e13 Episode Script
Till Death Do We Part
WELCOME BACK, SPURTS FANS, TO GAME SEVEN OF THE WORLD SCARIES.
IT'S THE FRIGHT SOX VERSUS THE BOO-JAYS.
I'M YOUR ANNOUNCER, VIN SKULL-Y.
CAN THE SOX KEEP THEIR WINNING SHRIEK ALIVE? THAT'S THE BIG QUESTION TODAY.
WAIT A MINUTE, LOOKS LIKE THERE'S GOING TO BE A PITCHING CHANGE.
THE JAYS ARE BRINGING IN THEIR ROT HANDER.
AND WHILE THEY DO THAT, WE'LL TAKE ANOTHER LOOK AT THE DEFENSE.
WE HAVE OOZE ON FIRST, GUTS ON SECOND, AND TONIGHT'S TERROR TALE ON THIRD.
IT CONCERNS A YOUNG LADY WHO'S PRETTY FOND OF "DIE-AMONDS" HERSELF AND DOESN'T MIND A LITTLE SQUEEZE PLAY TO GET 'EM.
I CALL IT TILL DEATH DO WE PART.
TILL DEATH DO WE PART COME ON.
PLEASE, DON'T DO THIS.
WATCH YOUR STEP IN THOSE HEELS, MA'AM.
HERE'S THE PITCH-- PLEASE.
STRIKE 3! THAT'S HIS THIRD K.
JESUS CHRIST, THAT NEW KID THROWS A MEAN ASS KNUCKLER.
JAMS 'EM IN HIGH AND TIGHT.
HE'S FROM NEW JERSEY.
WESTFIELD, I THINK.
ITALIAN KID.
I GOT IT ON SPORTS CHANNEL.
NO TRAFFIC.
WE MIGHT STILL CATCH THE NINTH.
YEAH? HMM.
ALL RIGHT, GIVE ME A HAND.
MA'AM, IF YOU WOULD.
DON'T WORRY.
HE AIN'T GONNA BITE, SWEETCAKES.
WHAT AM I? A PARROT? GET HIS FUCKING LEGS! BE SO KIND, MA'AM.
DON'T MAKE ME DO THIS.
HE'S A HEAVY BASTARD.
ALL RIGHT, HOLD ON, HOLD ON.
ALL RIGHT, HERE'S GOOD.
ARE WE GOING TO BURY HIM? OH, MY GOD.
AW, LOOK AT THIS SHIT LEAKING ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE! HEY, FRANK, I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO WRAP HIM DECENT.
NOW, YOU'RE GOING TO HOSE IT OUT THIS TIME.
I'M TIRED OF MOPPING UP AFTER YOU.
LIKE YOU'RE MR.
FUCKING CLEAN OR THE TIDY BOWL MAN OR SOMETHING? EXCUSE ME.
THIS BETTER HAVE A GOOD EDGE ON IT.
YOU KNOW, IF MY CHIROPRACTOR KNEW I WAS DOING THIS, HE'D KILL ME.
FORGET ABOUT IT.
OK.
OOH.
MARON! HE'S A BIG-BONED MOTHER FUCKER AIN'T HE? OHH ON YOUR FEET, MA'AM.
NO! MRS.
BRAZZI WAS VERY ADAMANT.
SAID TO WAIT UNTIL TONY'S DONE.
SHE WANTED YOU TO WATCH.
OH, JESUS! I'M GOING TO BE SICK.
HERE YOU ARE, MA'AM.
YOU'RE DOING FINE.
THIS WAY, MA'AM.
DON'T DO THIS.
PLEASE.
PLEASE LET ME GO.
MAKE HIM STOP! HE SAID HE LOVED ME.
I'M SURE HE DID, MA'AM.
ARE THOSE REAL? OH, THE WIFE, SHE LOVES DIAMONDS.
HE GIVE THIS TO YOU? WOULD YOU TAKE IT OFF FOR ME, MA'AM? PLEASE.
CIGARETTES, MRS.
BRAZZI.
You know what I'm talking about? MRS.
BRAZZI WOULD YOU CARE FOR ANYTHING ELSE? NOTHING YOU COULD HELP ME WITH, HON.
JOHNNY, WOULD YOU CARE FOR ANYTHING ELSE? NO, THANK YOU, SWEETHEART.
YOU'RE VERY PRETTY.
LUCILLE IS VERY PRETTY, DON'T YOU THINK SO, JOHNNY? THE CUSTOMERS THINK SO.
SHE DOES A GOOD JOB FOR US.
BUTDO YOU THINK LUCILLE IS PRETTY? I ONLY HAVE EYES FOR YOU, SWEETHEART.
WHOA, JOHNNY, KISS ME.
HEY, TAKE OFF.
HEY, I MISSED YOU.
I WAS ABOUT TO SEND A SEARCH PARTY AFTER YOU.
DOUBLE OR NOTHING? SURE.
LET'S SEE 'EM.
'CAUSE I SURE DON'T HAVE ANY.
YOU LYIN' LITTLE MINX.
CHEERS.
CHEERS.
AHEM.
EXCUSE ME.
I'VE GOT TO MAKE A CALL.
WAS THERE A PROBLEM WITH MS.
BRAZZI? NO.
IT'S COOL.
SHE'S DRUNK.
SHE'S NOT DRUNK.
SHE'S DANGEROUS.
YOU DON'T WANT TO GET ON RUTHLESS RUTH'S SHIT LIST.
JUST ASK HER HUSBAND.
HE'S DEAD.
EXACTLY.
FIND SOMETHING? OH! MR.
CANAPARRO.
I LOVE THIS WATCH.
OH, IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL, BABY.
THE CUSTOMERS THINK SO.
OH, STOP IT.
I LOVE YOU, BABY, YOU KNOW THAT.
ONLY THE BEST FOR YOU.
OH! JOHNNY, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
I CAN'T STAND SEEING HER TOUCH YOU LIKE THAT.
SHE KEEPS IT ALL IN THE SAFE.
SHE SAYS SHE'S GOING TO GIVE ME THE COMBINATION.
IT COULD BE ANY DAY NOW.
SHE SAYS SHE WANTS TO TRUST ME.
THEN YOU AND ME WE'LL HAVE ENOUGH TO BUY A FUCKING ISLAND.
I ONLY WANT TO BE WITH YOU.
UGH! AHH.
SHIT! SEEMED LIKE THE ANIMALS DRAGGED AWAY MOST OF THE LAST ONE.
SAVED ME A LOT OF DIGGING THANK FUCKING GOD.
THE SKIRT, WHAT SIZE? UH, 6.
I'M A 6.
OH, MY WIFE, AFTER THREE KIDS THERE WAS A TIME SHE WAS A 6.
BUT, UH--HMM.
MY DAUGHTER.
YEAH, SHE'S HIGH-SCHOOL AGE.
YOU KNOW, CHANGE THE LENGTH A LITTLE BIT.
WOULD YOU MIND TAKING IT OFF, MA'AM? IT'S A SHAME TO MUDDY IT UP.
RIGHT HERE? THANK YOU.
OH, SILK.
AAH,THE BLOUSE, TOO.
GOD, I WANT YOU.
MMM.
IS IT SAFE, JOHNNY? WHO CARES? HEY, DON'T PUSH.
I KNOW THE WAY, HUH? OH, GOD.
OH, JOHNNY.
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO? JOHNNY? JOHNNY, DARLING, ARE YOU IN THERE? OH, JOHNNY.
HEY, RUTH, WHERE'D YOU FIND THESE 2 FUCKIN' TORPEDOES? COUPLE OF PRIMITIVE TYPES, EH? HEY, I GO TO NIGHT SCHOOL.
WHO ARE YOU, JACK FUCKIN' BENNY? NOW, LOOK--YOU SHUT YOUR FUCKIN' HOLE, OR I'M GONNA GIVE YOU A GOOD SHELLACKIN'.
LIKE I'M WORRIED.
YOU'RE SWEATING.
I GOT A--I'M GETTING A FEVER OR SOMETHING.
YEAH, WELL-- YOU GONNA PLAY MOMMY TO THIS LITTLE BOY OF YOURS? OR ARE WE GONNA GET OUR SHIT SETTLED? CHRIST.
SIT DOWN.
GET HIM A CHAIR.
S'IL VOUS PLAIT.
THOSE DIAMONDS ARE VS1! YEAH? MAYBE EVEN BETTER! THEY'RE THE BEST AROUND! IS THAT SO, WILLARD? HEY, YOUR HUSBAND FENCED MY GOODS FOR I NEVER HAD A FUCKIN' PROBLEM! HE KNEW HOW TO TREAT HIS PEOPLE, YA FUCKIN' MOP.
YOU SAID YOU WERE IN A HURRY, WILLARD! I TOOK THE DAMN DIAMONDS ON YOUR WORD! SEE? CHRIST, I'VE SEEN BETTER IN A BOX OF CRACKER JACK! GOD, I'M DISAPPOINTED, WILLARD.
YOU KNOW? YOU TOOK ADVANTAGE OF MY SWEET, SWEET DISPOSITION.
ARE YOU ON MENOPAUSE OR WHAT? THAT'S WHAT I GET WITH DEALING WITH A WOMAN.
UNBELIEVABLE.
THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY WANT TO FUCKIN' DO.
SHOULD'VE KEPT 'EM IN THE KITCHEN.
NOW, THEY BURN THE MEATLOAF, THEY WANNA BURN DOWN THE WHOLE FUCKING GODDAMN COUNTRY.
YOUR HUSBAND--AAH! NOW, THAT'S MEAT LOAF.
WHAT IS SHE DOIN'-- WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE, HUH? JOHNNY! YOU TRYING TO GET HER COMBINATION TO HER SAFE? YOU TRYING TO STEAL MY BABY'S MONEY? IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO DO? YOU BASTARD! SHUT THE FUCK UP! GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK, WILL YOU, JOHNNY! MY GOD! THE BITCH IS STANDING THERE IN HER LACY PANTIES! HER NIPPLES ARE BUSTING THROUGH HER BRASSIERE AND YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME THAT YOU DON'T KNOW SHE GOT IN HERE! I'M SORRY, BABY.
I SWEAR TO GOD-- JOHNNY! OH, DON'T YOU GET IT? DON'T YOU EVER LEARN? DON'T YOU EVER LEARN? HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS SHIT? HOW MANY BIMBOS I GOTTA SLICE AND DICE BEFORE YOU KEEP THAT THING ZIPPED? NO MORE, I SWEAR.
KISS ME! I'M SORRY, BABY.
I'M SO SORRY.
I'M SORRY.
I'M SORRY.
SHUT UP! I'M SORRY.
FUCK.
TONY, THE LADY'S GETTING A CHILL.
WILL YOU HURRY IT UP, PLEASE? LOOKS LIKE HE CRACKED HIS BAT ON THAT ONE.
OH, JOHNNY.
JOHNNY, DARLING.
I'D FEEL SO MUCH BETTER ABOUT US IF YOU DID IT.
OF COURSE, SWEETHEART.
REMEMBER HE WAS EJECTED LAST WEEK FOR ARGUING A CALLED STRIKE.
HEY, JOHNNY, HOW YOU DOING? JOHNNY? SHE WANTS ME TO DO IT.
Oh! Johnny! TURN AROUND.
JOHNNY? TURN AROUND.
YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVED ME.
TURN AROUND, LUCILLE.
DO IT.
Oh, my God.
HERE IT COMES.
IT'S A PLAY UP THE MIDDLE! OVER THE DIAMOND FOR ONE! HE'S GOT HIM! RUTH! RUTH! YOU O.
K.
, BABY? OH, SWEETHEART.
OH, I'M SO SORRY.
I'M SO SORRY.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
THIS WAS THE ONLY WAY, BABY.
I'M SO SORRY.
LISTEN, EVERYTHING'S OK.
YOU'RE OK, ALL RIGHT? NOBODY'S GONNA HURT YOU, I PROMISE YOU, NOBODY'S GONNA HURT YOU, BABY.
OH, YOU LOVE ME, YOU REALLY DO LOVE ME.
OH, YOU MEAN SO MUCH TO ME.
LISTEN, WE'RE GONNA DISAPPEAR, BABY.
YOU AND ME, WE'RE GONNA DISAPPEAR.
WE'RE GONNA BUY OUR ISLAND.
WE'RE GONNA HAVE A FAMILY, AND WE'RE GONNA GROW OLD TOGETHER, OK? OK? I LOVE YOU.
THERE'S ONLY ONE THING STANDING IN OUR WAY.
YEAH, RIGHT.
NOT A TRACE OF 'EM.
YOU BITCH! IT'S HER! GO! JOHNNY! RUTH! ALL RIGHT! YOU.
GIVE IT UP, RUTH.
COME ON, MOVE YOUR DROOPY ASS.
YOU TOOK ADVANTAGE OF MY SWEET DISPOSITION, RUTH.
THE NUMBERS! JOHNNY, PLEASE.
JOHNNY, I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING.
SHUT THE FUCK UP! I'M GOING TO PUT HONEY ALL OVER YOUR UGLY GOAT FACE AND STICK YOU OUT FOR THE FIRE ANTS.
WHAT ARE THE NUMBERS, RUTH? COME ON, RUTH, WHAT ARE THE NUMBERS? AND 42.
THANK YOU.
WHOO! WE HIT THE MOTHER LODE.
HA! YOU'RE DOING FINE, MA'AM.
WONDER IF YOU'D TAKE OFF THAT MINK.
SHAME TO BLOODY IT UP.
OOH, I LOVE THE FEEL.
THOSE REAL, HUH? YES! MY MAN, HE LOVES DIAMONDS.
YES, TAKE 'EM.
TAKE 'EM! THE SHOES WHAT SIZE? JUST TAKE 'EM, TAKE 'EM.
JUST GO, PLEASE.
JUST GO.
THERE'S JUST ONE MORE THING TO TAKE.
JOHNNY? HMM? I'D FEEL MUCH BETTER ABOUT US IF YOU DID IT.
OF COURSE, SWEETHEART.
TURN AROUND.
JOHNNY, PLEASE.
TURN AROUND.
OH, JOHNNY-- TURN AROUND.
TURN AROUND! SWEET DREAMS, BABY.
NOW, THAT'S MEAT LOAF.
MINK IS YOUR LOOK, BABY.
BAG IT UP, AND LET'S JET.
RIGHT.
THIS IS IT.
WE'RE FILTHY FUCKIN' RICH! NOBODY'S GONNA STOP US.
SORRY, LOVER BOY.
YOU THINK I COULD LOVE A GIGOLO LIKE YOU? THIS IS WHAT I CAME FOR.
NO, DON'T DO THIS.
YOU WERE JUST A WAY INTO THE ROOM.
OUTTA THERE! OOOH, DOGGIE! WHAT AN OUTING FOR SCOTT EMERFROE! FIVE Ks IN THE FIRST AT THIS PACE, HE'LL BEAT HIS PERSONAL BEST.
HE'S REALLY IN A GROOVE.
THERE'S NO STOPPING HIM.
SWEET DREAMS, BABY.
WELL, THAT'S STEP ASIDE, BOYS.
GIVE ME A LITTLE ELBOW ROOM.
SWEETCAKES SHOULDN'T TAKE TOO LONG.
WHO KNOWS, MIGHT BE ABLE TO CATCH THE LAST FEW INNINGS.
HOW'S THE BACK? MURDER.
JOHNNY.
DARLING.
COMING, SWEETHEART.
THAT LUCY.
WHAT A CUTUP! I'LL BET SHE WISHES SHE WERE THE ONE ON THE CHOPPING SPREE.
WELL, KIDDIES, LOOKS LIKE I'VE GOT TO WORK MYSELF OUT OF A JAM.
TWO ON, TWO OUT.
THE TIE RUN'S IN S-GORING POSITION.
SPATTER UP! WHAT DO YOU KNOW? A DOUBLE BE-HEADER!
IT'S THE FRIGHT SOX VERSUS THE BOO-JAYS.
I'M YOUR ANNOUNCER, VIN SKULL-Y.
CAN THE SOX KEEP THEIR WINNING SHRIEK ALIVE? THAT'S THE BIG QUESTION TODAY.
WAIT A MINUTE, LOOKS LIKE THERE'S GOING TO BE A PITCHING CHANGE.
THE JAYS ARE BRINGING IN THEIR ROT HANDER.
AND WHILE THEY DO THAT, WE'LL TAKE ANOTHER LOOK AT THE DEFENSE.
WE HAVE OOZE ON FIRST, GUTS ON SECOND, AND TONIGHT'S TERROR TALE ON THIRD.
IT CONCERNS A YOUNG LADY WHO'S PRETTY FOND OF "DIE-AMONDS" HERSELF AND DOESN'T MIND A LITTLE SQUEEZE PLAY TO GET 'EM.
I CALL IT TILL DEATH DO WE PART.
TILL DEATH DO WE PART COME ON.
PLEASE, DON'T DO THIS.
WATCH YOUR STEP IN THOSE HEELS, MA'AM.
HERE'S THE PITCH-- PLEASE.
STRIKE 3! THAT'S HIS THIRD K.
JESUS CHRIST, THAT NEW KID THROWS A MEAN ASS KNUCKLER.
JAMS 'EM IN HIGH AND TIGHT.
HE'S FROM NEW JERSEY.
WESTFIELD, I THINK.
ITALIAN KID.
I GOT IT ON SPORTS CHANNEL.
NO TRAFFIC.
WE MIGHT STILL CATCH THE NINTH.
YEAH? HMM.
ALL RIGHT, GIVE ME A HAND.
MA'AM, IF YOU WOULD.
DON'T WORRY.
HE AIN'T GONNA BITE, SWEETCAKES.
WHAT AM I? A PARROT? GET HIS FUCKING LEGS! BE SO KIND, MA'AM.
DON'T MAKE ME DO THIS.
HE'S A HEAVY BASTARD.
ALL RIGHT, HOLD ON, HOLD ON.
ALL RIGHT, HERE'S GOOD.
ARE WE GOING TO BURY HIM? OH, MY GOD.
AW, LOOK AT THIS SHIT LEAKING ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE! HEY, FRANK, I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO WRAP HIM DECENT.
NOW, YOU'RE GOING TO HOSE IT OUT THIS TIME.
I'M TIRED OF MOPPING UP AFTER YOU.
LIKE YOU'RE MR.
FUCKING CLEAN OR THE TIDY BOWL MAN OR SOMETHING? EXCUSE ME.
THIS BETTER HAVE A GOOD EDGE ON IT.
YOU KNOW, IF MY CHIROPRACTOR KNEW I WAS DOING THIS, HE'D KILL ME.
FORGET ABOUT IT.
OK.
OOH.
MARON! HE'S A BIG-BONED MOTHER FUCKER AIN'T HE? OHH ON YOUR FEET, MA'AM.
NO! MRS.
BRAZZI WAS VERY ADAMANT.
SAID TO WAIT UNTIL TONY'S DONE.
SHE WANTED YOU TO WATCH.
OH, JESUS! I'M GOING TO BE SICK.
HERE YOU ARE, MA'AM.
YOU'RE DOING FINE.
THIS WAY, MA'AM.
DON'T DO THIS.
PLEASE.
PLEASE LET ME GO.
MAKE HIM STOP! HE SAID HE LOVED ME.
I'M SURE HE DID, MA'AM.
ARE THOSE REAL? OH, THE WIFE, SHE LOVES DIAMONDS.
HE GIVE THIS TO YOU? WOULD YOU TAKE IT OFF FOR ME, MA'AM? PLEASE.
CIGARETTES, MRS.
BRAZZI.
You know what I'm talking about? MRS.
BRAZZI WOULD YOU CARE FOR ANYTHING ELSE? NOTHING YOU COULD HELP ME WITH, HON.
JOHNNY, WOULD YOU CARE FOR ANYTHING ELSE? NO, THANK YOU, SWEETHEART.
YOU'RE VERY PRETTY.
LUCILLE IS VERY PRETTY, DON'T YOU THINK SO, JOHNNY? THE CUSTOMERS THINK SO.
SHE DOES A GOOD JOB FOR US.
BUTDO YOU THINK LUCILLE IS PRETTY? I ONLY HAVE EYES FOR YOU, SWEETHEART.
WHOA, JOHNNY, KISS ME.
HEY, TAKE OFF.
HEY, I MISSED YOU.
I WAS ABOUT TO SEND A SEARCH PARTY AFTER YOU.
DOUBLE OR NOTHING? SURE.
LET'S SEE 'EM.
'CAUSE I SURE DON'T HAVE ANY.
YOU LYIN' LITTLE MINX.
CHEERS.
CHEERS.
AHEM.
EXCUSE ME.
I'VE GOT TO MAKE A CALL.
WAS THERE A PROBLEM WITH MS.
BRAZZI? NO.
IT'S COOL.
SHE'S DRUNK.
SHE'S NOT DRUNK.
SHE'S DANGEROUS.
YOU DON'T WANT TO GET ON RUTHLESS RUTH'S SHIT LIST.
JUST ASK HER HUSBAND.
HE'S DEAD.
EXACTLY.
FIND SOMETHING? OH! MR.
CANAPARRO.
I LOVE THIS WATCH.
OH, IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL, BABY.
THE CUSTOMERS THINK SO.
OH, STOP IT.
I LOVE YOU, BABY, YOU KNOW THAT.
ONLY THE BEST FOR YOU.
OH! JOHNNY, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
I CAN'T STAND SEEING HER TOUCH YOU LIKE THAT.
SHE KEEPS IT ALL IN THE SAFE.
SHE SAYS SHE'S GOING TO GIVE ME THE COMBINATION.
IT COULD BE ANY DAY NOW.
SHE SAYS SHE WANTS TO TRUST ME.
THEN YOU AND ME WE'LL HAVE ENOUGH TO BUY A FUCKING ISLAND.
I ONLY WANT TO BE WITH YOU.
UGH! AHH.
SHIT! SEEMED LIKE THE ANIMALS DRAGGED AWAY MOST OF THE LAST ONE.
SAVED ME A LOT OF DIGGING THANK FUCKING GOD.
THE SKIRT, WHAT SIZE? UH, 6.
I'M A 6.
OH, MY WIFE, AFTER THREE KIDS THERE WAS A TIME SHE WAS A 6.
BUT, UH--HMM.
MY DAUGHTER.
YEAH, SHE'S HIGH-SCHOOL AGE.
YOU KNOW, CHANGE THE LENGTH A LITTLE BIT.
WOULD YOU MIND TAKING IT OFF, MA'AM? IT'S A SHAME TO MUDDY IT UP.
RIGHT HERE? THANK YOU.
OH, SILK.
AAH,THE BLOUSE, TOO.
GOD, I WANT YOU.
MMM.
IS IT SAFE, JOHNNY? WHO CARES? HEY, DON'T PUSH.
I KNOW THE WAY, HUH? OH, GOD.
OH, JOHNNY.
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO? JOHNNY? JOHNNY, DARLING, ARE YOU IN THERE? OH, JOHNNY.
HEY, RUTH, WHERE'D YOU FIND THESE 2 FUCKIN' TORPEDOES? COUPLE OF PRIMITIVE TYPES, EH? HEY, I GO TO NIGHT SCHOOL.
WHO ARE YOU, JACK FUCKIN' BENNY? NOW, LOOK--YOU SHUT YOUR FUCKIN' HOLE, OR I'M GONNA GIVE YOU A GOOD SHELLACKIN'.
LIKE I'M WORRIED.
YOU'RE SWEATING.
I GOT A--I'M GETTING A FEVER OR SOMETHING.
YEAH, WELL-- YOU GONNA PLAY MOMMY TO THIS LITTLE BOY OF YOURS? OR ARE WE GONNA GET OUR SHIT SETTLED? CHRIST.
SIT DOWN.
GET HIM A CHAIR.
S'IL VOUS PLAIT.
THOSE DIAMONDS ARE VS1! YEAH? MAYBE EVEN BETTER! THEY'RE THE BEST AROUND! IS THAT SO, WILLARD? HEY, YOUR HUSBAND FENCED MY GOODS FOR I NEVER HAD A FUCKIN' PROBLEM! HE KNEW HOW TO TREAT HIS PEOPLE, YA FUCKIN' MOP.
YOU SAID YOU WERE IN A HURRY, WILLARD! I TOOK THE DAMN DIAMONDS ON YOUR WORD! SEE? CHRIST, I'VE SEEN BETTER IN A BOX OF CRACKER JACK! GOD, I'M DISAPPOINTED, WILLARD.
YOU KNOW? YOU TOOK ADVANTAGE OF MY SWEET, SWEET DISPOSITION.
ARE YOU ON MENOPAUSE OR WHAT? THAT'S WHAT I GET WITH DEALING WITH A WOMAN.
UNBELIEVABLE.
THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY WANT TO FUCKIN' DO.
SHOULD'VE KEPT 'EM IN THE KITCHEN.
NOW, THEY BURN THE MEATLOAF, THEY WANNA BURN DOWN THE WHOLE FUCKING GODDAMN COUNTRY.
YOUR HUSBAND--AAH! NOW, THAT'S MEAT LOAF.
WHAT IS SHE DOIN'-- WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE, HUH? JOHNNY! YOU TRYING TO GET HER COMBINATION TO HER SAFE? YOU TRYING TO STEAL MY BABY'S MONEY? IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO DO? YOU BASTARD! SHUT THE FUCK UP! GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK, WILL YOU, JOHNNY! MY GOD! THE BITCH IS STANDING THERE IN HER LACY PANTIES! HER NIPPLES ARE BUSTING THROUGH HER BRASSIERE AND YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME THAT YOU DON'T KNOW SHE GOT IN HERE! I'M SORRY, BABY.
I SWEAR TO GOD-- JOHNNY! OH, DON'T YOU GET IT? DON'T YOU EVER LEARN? DON'T YOU EVER LEARN? HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS SHIT? HOW MANY BIMBOS I GOTTA SLICE AND DICE BEFORE YOU KEEP THAT THING ZIPPED? NO MORE, I SWEAR.
KISS ME! I'M SORRY, BABY.
I'M SO SORRY.
I'M SORRY.
I'M SORRY.
SHUT UP! I'M SORRY.
FUCK.
TONY, THE LADY'S GETTING A CHILL.
WILL YOU HURRY IT UP, PLEASE? LOOKS LIKE HE CRACKED HIS BAT ON THAT ONE.
OH, JOHNNY.
JOHNNY, DARLING.
I'D FEEL SO MUCH BETTER ABOUT US IF YOU DID IT.
OF COURSE, SWEETHEART.
REMEMBER HE WAS EJECTED LAST WEEK FOR ARGUING A CALLED STRIKE.
HEY, JOHNNY, HOW YOU DOING? JOHNNY? SHE WANTS ME TO DO IT.
Oh! Johnny! TURN AROUND.
JOHNNY? TURN AROUND.
YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVED ME.
TURN AROUND, LUCILLE.
DO IT.
Oh, my God.
HERE IT COMES.
IT'S A PLAY UP THE MIDDLE! OVER THE DIAMOND FOR ONE! HE'S GOT HIM! RUTH! RUTH! YOU O.
K.
, BABY? OH, SWEETHEART.
OH, I'M SO SORRY.
I'M SO SORRY.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
THIS WAS THE ONLY WAY, BABY.
I'M SO SORRY.
LISTEN, EVERYTHING'S OK.
YOU'RE OK, ALL RIGHT? NOBODY'S GONNA HURT YOU, I PROMISE YOU, NOBODY'S GONNA HURT YOU, BABY.
OH, YOU LOVE ME, YOU REALLY DO LOVE ME.
OH, YOU MEAN SO MUCH TO ME.
LISTEN, WE'RE GONNA DISAPPEAR, BABY.
YOU AND ME, WE'RE GONNA DISAPPEAR.
WE'RE GONNA BUY OUR ISLAND.
WE'RE GONNA HAVE A FAMILY, AND WE'RE GONNA GROW OLD TOGETHER, OK? OK? I LOVE YOU.
THERE'S ONLY ONE THING STANDING IN OUR WAY.
YEAH, RIGHT.
NOT A TRACE OF 'EM.
YOU BITCH! IT'S HER! GO! JOHNNY! RUTH! ALL RIGHT! YOU.
GIVE IT UP, RUTH.
COME ON, MOVE YOUR DROOPY ASS.
YOU TOOK ADVANTAGE OF MY SWEET DISPOSITION, RUTH.
THE NUMBERS! JOHNNY, PLEASE.
JOHNNY, I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING.
SHUT THE FUCK UP! I'M GOING TO PUT HONEY ALL OVER YOUR UGLY GOAT FACE AND STICK YOU OUT FOR THE FIRE ANTS.
WHAT ARE THE NUMBERS, RUTH? COME ON, RUTH, WHAT ARE THE NUMBERS? AND 42.
THANK YOU.
WHOO! WE HIT THE MOTHER LODE.
HA! YOU'RE DOING FINE, MA'AM.
WONDER IF YOU'D TAKE OFF THAT MINK.
SHAME TO BLOODY IT UP.
OOH, I LOVE THE FEEL.
THOSE REAL, HUH? YES! MY MAN, HE LOVES DIAMONDS.
YES, TAKE 'EM.
TAKE 'EM! THE SHOES WHAT SIZE? JUST TAKE 'EM, TAKE 'EM.
JUST GO, PLEASE.
JUST GO.
THERE'S JUST ONE MORE THING TO TAKE.
JOHNNY? HMM? I'D FEEL MUCH BETTER ABOUT US IF YOU DID IT.
OF COURSE, SWEETHEART.
TURN AROUND.
JOHNNY, PLEASE.
TURN AROUND.
OH, JOHNNY-- TURN AROUND.
TURN AROUND! SWEET DREAMS, BABY.
NOW, THAT'S MEAT LOAF.
MINK IS YOUR LOOK, BABY.
BAG IT UP, AND LET'S JET.
RIGHT.
THIS IS IT.
WE'RE FILTHY FUCKIN' RICH! NOBODY'S GONNA STOP US.
SORRY, LOVER BOY.
YOU THINK I COULD LOVE A GIGOLO LIKE YOU? THIS IS WHAT I CAME FOR.
NO, DON'T DO THIS.
YOU WERE JUST A WAY INTO THE ROOM.
OUTTA THERE! OOOH, DOGGIE! WHAT AN OUTING FOR SCOTT EMERFROE! FIVE Ks IN THE FIRST AT THIS PACE, HE'LL BEAT HIS PERSONAL BEST.
HE'S REALLY IN A GROOVE.
THERE'S NO STOPPING HIM.
SWEET DREAMS, BABY.
WELL, THAT'S STEP ASIDE, BOYS.
GIVE ME A LITTLE ELBOW ROOM.
SWEETCAKES SHOULDN'T TAKE TOO LONG.
WHO KNOWS, MIGHT BE ABLE TO CATCH THE LAST FEW INNINGS.
HOW'S THE BACK? MURDER.
JOHNNY.
DARLING.
COMING, SWEETHEART.
THAT LUCY.
WHAT A CUTUP! I'LL BET SHE WISHES SHE WERE THE ONE ON THE CHOPPING SPREE.
WELL, KIDDIES, LOOKS LIKE I'VE GOT TO WORK MYSELF OUT OF A JAM.
TWO ON, TWO OUT.
THE TIE RUN'S IN S-GORING POSITION.
SPATTER UP! WHAT DO YOU KNOW? A DOUBLE BE-HEADER!