TaleSpin (1990) s01e09 Episode Script

The Idol Rich

[male voice]
Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Spin it!
Oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh-oh oh-oh
oh-oh oh-oh oh
Let's begin it.
Oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh-oh oh-oh
oh-oh oh-oh oh
Friends for life through
thick and thin with another tale to spin
All the trouble we get in
with another tale to spin
Spin it!
Oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh-oh oh-oh
oh-oh oh-oh oh
Spin it, my friend.
Oh-ee-yeah, oh-ee-yeah
Oh-ee-yo, oh-ee-yo
Oh-ee-yeah, oh-ee-yeah
Oh-ee-yo, oh-ee-yo
Spin it, let's begin it,
bear and grin it when you're in it
You can win it in a minute
when you spin it, spin it, spin it
Ha ha!
So spin it
TaleSpin! ♪
This plane is private property.
Who gave you the authority
to rummage in it?
You're in big trouble, mister.
Where are your credentials?
Read my lips. I am a pirate.
I do not need credentials.
- [whispers]
- What do you mean, you found nothing?
- I know what the word "nothing" means.
- [crashing]
- Where are they, Baloo?
- Where are what, Karney?
It is Karnage. Don Karnage.
Just give him the rubies, Baloo,
before he gets angry.
Yes, Baloo. Before he gets angry.
What rubies? You seen any rubies, Kit?
Nope, not me. No rubies here.
The rubies we're carrying.
Where are they? Tell me!
You must be confused, Miss Cunningham.
We're hauling strawberry jam,
not rubies.
Mm-mm. Finger-lickin' good.
Want some?
I do not want any of your stinky jam.
I want
Hold on! I'm the owner of Higher
For Hire and I have a right to know.
- Where did you hide the rubies?
- Yes. The rubies, the rubies.
Tell her, so I can eavesdrop.
Ahem. Coast of Cape Suzette
off the port bow.
Is that a Shore Patrol plane I see?
Shore Patrol? [clears throat]
I am feeling forgiving today.
To your ships, men.
Count your blessings.
This time I do nothing.
But when next we meet
beware the brave pirate, Don Karnage!
Hey-hey. Nice call, kid.
Now, just strap in. We're going home.
What happened to the rubies, Baloo, huh?
You never tell me anything.
Like that "accident" the other day,
the flying lessons you promised
and this ruby business.
Not a word to me.
That's going to change when we get back.
Easy, easy, Rebecca.
I'll tell you where the rubies are.
- [slurps]
- Well yes. Where?
You aren't going to believe this.
Yoo-hoo! Air pirates, come on in.
You sure you don't want any
of this delicious strawberry jam?
- [Karnage] No!
- [slurps]
'Cause that's where I hid the rubies.
- In the jam?
- In the jam?!
You make me very, very angry.
I don't think you should count your
pirates before they're dispatched.
We aren't safe in Cape Suzette yet.
Kit, quit worrying.
I know what I'm doing.
Sea Duck,
this is Cape Suzette Air Control.
Ha ha! See, Kit?
I told you we'd make it.
You have not been cleared for landing.
Assume holding pattern.
But this is an A number one emergency.
We got pirates up the tailpipe.
We have two planes, one glider and a
blimp ahead of you. You'll have to wait.
- Air Control, come in.
- [static]
I can't read you.
There's too much static. Chh! Chh!
- Air Control said to wait.
- We're going in anyway.
- I say we're not.
- Six to one, they say we do.
Trust me.
I really do know what I'm doing.
Give up, Baloo!
Made it!
[Karnage] Mad Dog, go in after him.
Oh, me? Why me?
Send Dumptruck. Send Hacksaw.
Send in Sadie or Uncle Floyd.
[Rebecca] You shouldn't be doing this.
[Baloo] If you've got a better way,
drop me a postcard.
There's still one behind us.
That's not our biggest problem
at the moment.
[all scream]
Or how about Bandersnatch
or Switchblade?
See? Told you I knew what I was doing.
[Baloo] What do you mean,
you're taking away my license?
It's only for a week. But you did enter
Cape Suzette without permission.
- I told you so.
- Whose side are you on?
What about this big job
you got for us today?
We got paid 50,000 shaboozies up-front.
Now, what about that?
Hello. I am Prince Never-Has-Been-Broke.
I need a whole iceberg to be delivered
to my desert palace, if you please.
Well, who's gonna fly the plane now?
Who's gonna fly that iceberg, huh?
But you don't know your elbow
from your railer rod.
It just so happens, mister,
I know what I'm doing.
With this book, I can fly any airplane.
See? "Learn to fly any airplane
in three easy lessons."
That book?
[laughs] That's a joke.
Oh, totally wrong. No.
Only an idiot would use it.
That's not what the man
at the bookstore told me, smart guy.
Besides, for $100 it's got to be good.
You spent 100 smackers on that?
It comes with a money-back guarantee
and a learners' license.
Only a temporary one,
but it's more than you've got, buster.
So I don't want to hear another word.
Hey, Baloo. Got that extra equipment
loaded. When do we pull chocks?
Don't ask me, partner.
Ask our new pilot.
Roger Wilcox. A okey-dokey.
We're gonna really fly.
Look, Becky, you don't have to do this.
I can still fly.
No one will ever know Hey!
Right. Like I was saying
- I'll just sit here and help you.
- Uh-uh-uh.
- That's the navigator's seat.
- That's me.
Here we are. Chapter One.
"Welcome to your Airplane."
Oh, no!
You don't have a steering wheel, Baloo.
What?! Where?
Are you loco? It's right here.
You sure? The one in the book is red.
It's not the same shape
It's gonna be a long flight.
[Rebecca] Chapter Two.
"Take-Offs Are Easy." Let's see.
"Take-offs are achieved at exactly 75
miles per hour on a 150-yard runway."
- [Kit] If you've got 150 yards.
- Which we don't.
68, 69, 70
Just a few more miles per hour.
[Baloo] You say I don't tell you
anything. Well, I'm telling you.
Pull up now!
You keep quiet. You don't
have a license anymore. I do. So there.
- 72, 73, 74
- [Kit] Baloo!
I don't care what the book says!
We gotta
- I'm not listening to you.
- But I
Shush! There. 75 exactly.
- [clanging]
- See?
Except for a little noise, a perfect
take-off. Just like the book said.
Gee, Baloo. That sure sounded like
Yeah, I know, kid. I know.
[Kit] OK, Miss Cunningham.
Make a six point reverse tack,
coming around bearing 49er
when we hit 78 degrees north. Got it?
Sure. Uh Just one thing.
Which way's north?
That way, lady. That way.
No need to get huffy, Baloo.
Why not just admit
I'm doing a good job of flying?
Because you're not.
You're just envious
that me and my book are doing so well.
That book is a load of guava.
And, besides, take-offs are easy.
It's the landings that are hard.
[Kit] At 200 screaming miles per hour,
it can be very hard.
Landing Landing Here it is.
Chapter Three. "Landing Can Be Fun."
Look, Rebecca. I was all wrong.
You're doing a bang-up job. Right, Kit?
Uh, right. Great job.
"First, find a spot to land."
She's a natural.
Still, you know, those landings
They can be a bit tricky.
"Then follow these four simple steps"
What say you let me
take the controls and teach you how?
Not on your life. If I follow the book,
I'll land just fine.
If you follow that book,
we'll end up frozen pancakes!
What do you know, Mister No License?
Where was I?
"One. push forward
on the steering wheel."
No, no, no! Pull up! Pull up!
Miss Cunningham!
Oof! That crazy woman's
trying to get us all snowploughed!
"Two. Cut the engines."
[Kit and Baloo] Don't do that!
[Rebecca] Whoops. That was step three.
Goodbye, kid. It was nice knowing you.
Step two is "Engage landing gear."
[both yell]
And step four, "Land."
I believe some apologies are in order.
Apologies? Apologies? Why Why
- She did get us down, Baloo.
- Just like the book said.
"Just like the book said!"
One day that lousy book
will really land you into trouble
and I won't lift a finger to help you.
I won't need your help.
Let's unload the equipment
and get this iceberg in the air.
Hey! Do I look like a dockworker? I fly.
Oh, you wanna fly? OK. You can fly.
This isn't what I meant!
[Baloo] You can't leave me here.
I'm a pilot, not an ice skater!
Desert dead ahead.
Right on schedule. By the book.
What did I tell you?
We're almost there, Baloo!
Gee, already?
I've been having so much fun.
Three o'clock! Rebecca!
Look, Rebecca! Three o'clock!
I know how to tell time, thank you.
No, Miss Cunningham.
There's something on our right.
Run for it! Run for it!
Oh, dear. We have to get out of here.
No, no, no! Cut the tow rope first!
Must be the wax in her ears.
That's why she doesn't listen to me.
It's gotta be the wax.
[Rebecca] Why aren't we moving?
Come on, baby. Come on, baby.
Hah! [yells]
Evasive action! Take evasive action!
[Baloo yells]
It's all happening so fast.
Wait Here! Here!
Miss Cunningham, look out!
[Baloo] Pull up! Pull up!
Oh! Ah! Ooh!
It just doesn't get any worse than this.
Oops! Spoke too soon.
Whoa! It's the pirates.
Oh, dear.
Ahoy, iceberg!
You are my prisoners!
- [whispers]
- Yes, yes. What is it? What? What?
What do you mean,
the iceberg is too heavy?
Full power. Full power!
Baloo! You're all right!
What are you doing
tangled in the tow rope?
- I'll tow rope you, you
- Oh, Baloo. We meet again.
And your cargo? Mmm.
Most, most interesting.
I must tell you, I am intrigued.
Let me see.
Last time, you hid red rubies
in red strawberry jelly.
Now you have a clear iceberg.
What could you possibly be hiding
in something clear? Hm?
- [whispers]
- Glass?
Not glass! Diamonds!
- What's he talking about, Baloo?
- Beats me.
Chop up the ice, men.
There are diamonds buried in there.
Not my iceberg!
You see, Baloo,
you cannot make the fool of me twice.
But there really is only ice,
Mr. Karnage.
- We're bringing it to a desert prince.
- Scout's honor.
Hah! And double hah!
I do not believe you.
You try to trick me? Well
I have ways of dealing with you.
[Baloo] Why do I have this ankle tag?
Kit doesn't have one.
Rebecca sure doesn't have one.
- At least that I can see.
- I could look up "pirates". Nothing.
Maybe I shouldn't
have made that crack about his mom.
"Escape"? No No No No
This book has nothing in it
that'll help us. It's worthless!
We need help!
[sobs] Oh, Baloo, you've got to help us!
Whoa there!
Since when does Miss "I Have A License
And You Don't" listen to me?
But, Baloo, we're trapped! No hope.
I can't hear you.
[Rebecca] Listen, Baloo. I'll admit it.
Just because I'm your boss
doesn't mean I know how to do your job.
That book did get me into trouble.
I shouldn't have listened to it.
I I should have listened to you.
Well, now you're talking, Becky.
Be glad to lend a hand,
as long as you listen.
Right. Anything. Anything.
Fine. Hand over the book.
- But
- Ah-ah-ah.
Great. Now, let's put this thing
to some good use.
- Kit?
- Right.
Going up.
Oh, Mr. Guard? Your shoelace is untied.
Nothing like a good book
to put you to sleep.
Sshh! Now, we're going
to have to sneak by old Karney,
so try to look pirate-ish.
[Karnage] So what glorious things
did you find in the iceberg?
Uh, we didn't find nothing
in the iceberg, Captain.
Except ice.
Ice? Ice?!
- Ice?!
- And some snow.
A hundred tons of ice? Why would
anyone want a hundred tons of ice?
Perhaps. But where
would they get a straw big enough?
I will ask the prisoners.
No. I will boil them in vinegar first.
Vinegar and maybe some salt.
Then I will ask them. [cackles]
Uno momento
Those are no pirates.
Those are the prisoners.
[Kit] Pull chocks!
[pirates gabble]
I can't believe they chopped up
the whole thing. The prince will ne
Wait. Wait. What's this red button for?
Oh. That's the bomb bay door release.
Thank you.
He's opened the bomb bay doors.
This is no time to be brave. Run away!
[Baloo] All right.
Inside, everybody, and hang on.
- Take the ship after them!
- [whispers]
What do you mean,
the engines are still on full throttle?
Ooh, this is wonderful!
[Kit] Start the engines, Baloo!
Start the engines!
This ankle bracelet's caught.
I can't fly.
- [Rebecca] I can.
- You?!
If you tell me how. I'll listen.
Then strap in, sweetheart.
Let's see.
Which one is the starter button?
[Baloo] OK, honey. Gently on the engines
and push forward on the stick.
[Baloo] Brakes. Brakes!
[Baloo laughs] Whoo!
Way to go! Right on my money, honey.
You did it, Miss Cunningham. You did it!
I gotta hand it to you, lady.
It was a real pretty landing.
Really? I am getting the hang of it.
Why, pretty soon
Who am I fooling? You're the real pilot.
I've been nothing but trouble,
not listening to you.
I'd better apologize to the prince
and give him back his 50,000 shaboozies.
Hey, Rebecca. Here. Look
Maybe on the way back to Cape Suzette,
I can give you a flying lesson
or something.
Miss Cunningham! 'Ello, 'ello!
I'm so sorry about your iceberg,
Your Princeness. The snow
- It is feeling wonderful!
- It is?
Oh, yes, yes. I had planned on having
very many servants chop up iceberg
to make ski slope for me.
But this much better.
Get whole blizzard. Come see, come see.
- Ski slope?
- Ski slope?
I guess we delivered our cargo
after all.
Well, what do you know?
You still don't have a license, Baloo.
Not for another week.
I'll have to fly the missions till then.
You're crazy. Give me my cap back.
Who's gonna fly us home then?
- Can I fly? Can I?
- [both] No!
[Baloo] I'm not letting
you touch the Duck.
[Rebecca] I can do it fine. I'll listen.
[Kit] Why can't I fly?
Another tale to spin
Another tale to spin
Oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh-oh oh-oh
Oh-oh oh-oh oh
[Baloo] Ha ha ha!
TaleSpin ♪
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