TaleSpin (1990) s01e27 Episode Script

Feminine Air

[male voice]
Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Spin it!
Oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh-oh oh-oh
oh-oh oh-oh oh
Let's begin it.
Oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh-oh oh-oh
oh-oh oh-oh oh
Friends for life through
thick and thin with another tale to spin
All the trouble we get in
with another tale to spin
Spin it!
Oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh-oh oh-oh
oh-oh oh-oh oh
Spin it, my friend.
Oh-ee-yeah, oh-ee-yeah
Oh-ee-yo, oh-ee-yo
Oh-ee-yeah, oh-ee-yeah
Oh-ee-yo, oh-ee-yo
Spin it, let's begin it,
bear and grin it when you're in it
You can win it in a minute
when you spin it, spin it, spin it
Ha ha!
So spin it
TaleSpin! ♪
Baloo, where are you sneaking off to?
I've got cargo to deliver.
You gotta help me! I'm in a jam.
Aw, Becky, I gotta help Louie.
He's in a jam, too. A jam session!
I promised to play bongoes
in the Aloha Band.
You're always helping Louie. Why not me?
'Cause Louie asked nicely.
He gives me lots of what you
give me none of: respect.
I give you all the respect due a guy
who's always partying, always broke,
and who's never gonna
amount to anything.
Aw, what do you mean?
Hmm. [tuts]
What's with you, buddy?
Never seen a set of bongoes before?
"Austin Featheridge of the law firm
Featheridge, Featheridge and Nowinsky"?
I am looking for a certain gentleman.
Have you ever come to the wrong place.
I think not.
Striking resemblance, sir.
Yes, Hans. I believe our search is over.
Madam, before you stands
a member of royalty.
The bluest of bluebloods.
The long-lost 13th Baron of Bruinwald!
- Him?
- Me?
You, sir, are now fabulously wealthy.
How fabulous?
Oh, you could easily buy this airplane,
say, a thousand times over.
If I may, sir
Now wait a minute!
If it's not to your liking, sir,
your tailor will be happy to make you
another dozen or so when we get home.
- Home?
- To your castle, sir.
- Castle?
- 650 rooms, madam.
Six hundred and Well, now!
Hmm. So, I'm never gonna
amount to anything, huh?
[laughs] Oh, baby, am I gonna love this!
[upper class accent] Home, Hans!
But you can't leave.
What about your job?
[Hans] Barons don't have jobs, sir.
You'll never have to work another day
as long as you live.
Sorry, Becky.
You heard the man. I'm gone.
Solid gone!
Go hire yourself some other chimp.
That's chump, sir.
But what about my cargo?
[Baloo] Stick it in your ear!
[Rebecca coughs] Baloo!
[creepy music]
Castle von Bruinwald, sir.
Wow! My chapeau!
That's "château", sir.
I'm so hungry I could eat a horse.
If you wish, sir, I can put that
on the menu for tomorrow.
[clock strikes]
[German accent] Baron, I have prepared
the von Bruinwald family favorite.
Maybe I'm not as hungry as I thought.
Ach! I'm sorry, sir.
All the other barons
like their meat rare.
Don't you have any regular food?
Cheeseburgers? French fries?
How some cookies? Cake?
A triple-thick malted with extra fudge?
Ah, now I understand, sir.
You wish to have dessert.
Now we're talkin'!
Ach! But allow me, Baron.
[gulps] Not sure if I want that, either.
Of course not, sir.
Dessert is properly served flambéed.
Bon appétit.
[Baloo] Whoa!
Terribly sorry, sir.
Can't imagine how it could
May I bring something else, sir?
Kinda lost my appetite.
Oh, boy! If only Becky could see this.
Hey, I almost forgot! The Sea Duck.
[phone rings]
[Rebecca] Higher for Hire.
Hello, Miss Cunningham?
Baron von Bruinwald here.
What do you want, Baloo?
I thought we might discuss
me purchasing my plane
over dinner at my place.
No sale.
We're havin' peasant under glass.
That's pheasant!
You don't need me, I don't want your
money, so take your invitation
Baloo, what's going on?
The water got a little hot.
Uh Call you back.
[stutters] Hans! Hans!
Have some of this duck?
Hans! A shark!
Impossible. No sharks have been
sighted in this part of the castle
Well, since the second baron.
- [tuts]
- What do you mean [tuts]
Perhaps, Baron,
no one told you about the
von Bruinwald family curse.
Each of your ancestors expired
under peculiar circumstances.
[sighs] Oh, dear.
What do you mean, "Oh, dear"?
I was just remembering the fourth baron.
What happened to him?
The electric eel soup
didn't agree with him.
Shocking, sir.
And then there was the sixth baron.
He was taking his evening stroll
on the parapet
when he slipped on
a pat of butter, fell and
Aw, that's a lot of mumbo-jumbo.
There's no such thing as curses.
Come on!
Where's the kitchen? I'm hungry.
This way, sir.
Watch your step, sir.
- What was that?
- What was what, sir?
Hans, I was almost sliced!
Strange you should mention it.
The same thing happened to
the seventh baron on that very spot.
The kitchen, sir.
Mm, baby!
- [Baloo munches]
- Oh, my.
What do you mean, "Oh, my"?
The ninth baron popped off
by choking on a cupcake.
I'm not crazy about devil's food anyway.
- Will there be anything else, sir?
- No.
I'll just take a little trip
through the icebox.
Have a safe journey, sir.
Oh, yeah! This is what I call
a killer snack!
- [Rebecca] Higher for hire.
- [stutters] Becky?
- Who is this?
- It's me, Baloo.
Oh, you mean the fabulously wealthy
Baron von Bruinwald?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta help me.
You walk out on me
and want me to help you?
Becky, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
but I'm in big trouble.
I'm [gulps] cursed.
[yawns] Tell me something
I don't already know.
No, no, I'm serious.
Somethin's tryin' to get me.
I was down in the kitchen and and
Oh no, it's the curse!
[sobs] It's tryin' to get in!
Becky, come quick.
Bring Wildcat, bring anybody.
I'm beggin' you. Help, help!
[line goes dead]
Baloo. Hello?
Baloo, are you there?
You screamed, sir?
Yeah, yeah. I gotta yell my head off
to get any service around here.
- Where were you?
- Uh, down in the kitchen
Um downstairs, Baron.
Setting traps. We have a problem with
with rats.
Is there anything you require, sir?
Yeah. Make up the ghost guest room.
We're havin' company.
I hope.
[Wildcat] Wow!
[Rebecca] Yeah, double wow!
If he's this rich, how come he needs us?
I don't know, but if this is a trick
he's gonna need a hospital!
Ah, Miss Cunningham and Mr. Wildcat.
Welcome to our humble house.
Thank goodness! You gotta protect me.
The curse got the first 12 barons
and [gulp] I'm number 13.
Give me one reason I should help you.
Uh 'Cause we're pals?
- Gimme a better reason.
- 'Cause if you go
- I go.
- OK, OK.
We'll protect you from
the big, bad boogey monsters.
Hey, not to worry.
With us here you're gonna be just fine.
Hi. Where's the bathroom?
On top of the stairs.
Second right after the third left, sir.
Thanks. And I mean it, bud.
[Rebecca] What's for dinner?
Baloodel strudel, if I don't watch out!
This joint's full of booby traps.
"Booby" is right!
Rebecca, would you mind, um
switchin' places with me?
Oh, OK.
[Baloo yells]
[Hans] Dinner is served.
If it's a cake,
call the fire department.
Tonight Helga has prepared
the baron's favorite.
- What's that?
- Bavarian cupcakes.
Two rights and three lefts, ta-dum
Or was it three rights
and two lefts, ta-dum?
Ha! Let's see a curse get through that!
- Now what?
- Uh, can I stay here?
No, you cannot stay here.
[stutters] But it's spook central
in my room. Could we trade?
[yawns] Anything to get some sleep.
Oh, thanks, Becky. You're a pal.
[yawns] It's OK. See you later.
Third right and then a left.
Is that my left or the hallway's?
Phew! Safe at last.
Rebecca! [screams]
If that curse doesn't kill him, I will.
Baloo, would you please
I'm sorry I didn't believe you.
You are cursed!
Becky, if I get outta here alive,
I'm buyin' you a whole fleet of planes.
- Now, come on!
- Wait a minute.
Where's Wildcat?
OK. The square root of
two lefts times three rights.
And you put the decimal in the
middle, minus the first two lefts
[Rebecca] Wildcat!
[Baloo] Psst! Wildcat!
[Hans] That dumb bear's stupider
than all his ancestors put together.
[Helga] Patience, mein lieberschnitzel.
We almost got him with the piano.
Father didn't have this trouble
with the 12th baron.
Oh, don't worry, my strudelie-poo.
He is the last of the Bruinwalds.
Und when he is disposed of,
the castle is ours!
- [evil cackling]
- [Rebecca gasps]
[Rebecca yells]
I do so love it when guests drop in.
Und we insist you stay for dinner!
[evil cackling]
I love it!
[Baloo babbles]
[Rebecca] Help!
You called, madame?
Oh, Baloo, thank goodness!
Thanks, Baloo! You saved my neck.
Let's bust those bums!
- They escaped!
- But you won't!
[Hans] Charge!
[both scream]
[panicked cries]
[Baloo yells]
We're trapped. Now what do we do?
[Wildcat] Three lefts and then right.
If you got one
leaves one left, right?
Uh, no. No, left. OK, OK, OK
They're not going anywhere,
my lieberfitzel.
We'll find 'em. And when we do
[makes slicing sound]
Oh, I love it when you talk cutlery.
Ooh, Hansie! [giggles]
You just can't get good help these days.
They're fired!
They won't quit till you're kaput.
They're after your castle!
Hey, they can have the castle.
I just want to get outta here alive!
I've got a plan. The only way
to get you out of here alive is
to kill you!
Bad plan.
Trust me.
I've been waiting for this a long time.
[Baloo] Oh, no! I'm a goner!
- [thud]
- I think that sounded like the baron.
I can't believe it.
He fell out the window!
[Helga] Oh, wieberfetzel!
The least he could have done
is let us push him.
Who are you?
Fritz Knedlhoffer, county undertaker.
Undertaker? You called the undertaker?
I thought you did!
Oh, who cares? We needed him anyway.
[Helga] Uh, is he
Uh, could he be
I'm afraid so. Are there any relatives?
Uh, no. He's all yours!
The von Bruinwalds
always were tubs of lard.
I guess it's all that fine cookin'.
- [Helga] The castle's ours!
- [Hans] My little lederhosen. Schatzi!
That tub of lard
can't call me a tub of lard!
- Doesn't she know who I am?
- [Featheridge] Baron von Bruinwald?
Hey, just in time. Arrest those two!
On what charge?
Attempted murder!
And bad cookin'!
[sighs] Becky
Uh, thanks for savin' my bacon.
And speakin' of food
[upper class accent]
We're having fish eggs and franks
in the south-west drawing room.
Would milady care to join me?
I'd love to!
Not so fast! There is a curse
on the von Bruinwalds.
300 years' worth of back taxes.
So? I'll write you a check.
- Mere truffles.
- That's trifles.
The amount is 500 million
and one dollars and 89 cents.
We're repossessing your entire estate.
Which is only worth 500 million.
You owe a buck eighty-nine.
Your cheeseburger, sir.
A French fry for milady?
Becky, your cookin' beats
that rich-folk food any day.
[chuckles] Thanks! But you know
I have this nagging feeling
we forgot something.
[both] Oh, no!
[Wildcat] Lean to the left,
you lean to the right.
And you stand up, sit down,
Jack, fight the fight!
No, wait, I got it
Another tale to spin
Another tale to spin
Oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh-oh oh-oh
Oh-oh oh-oh oh
[Baloo] Ha ha ha!
TaleSpin ♪
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