Teen Titans Go! (2013) s03e25 Episode Script

Pyramid Scheme

1 "Pyramid Scheme" Beast Boy, your sadness is leaking from your eyeholes.
It's just I can't afford the birthday present Cyborg really wants! Wait, haven't we been through this before? And besides, my birthday is like months away.
If I don't get him an expensive gift, - it can ruin our friendship.
- That's not true! What kind of person do you think I am? Yeah, yeah, this has definitely happened before.
You guys know how much he loves expensive gifts.
- You're making me sound like a monster! - I have to gets a job, so I can afford the expensive presents Cyborg wants! You don't! You really don't! Let me guess, Beast Boy, you're going to get a job at the pie shop.
I ain't getting a job at the pie shop.
I'm gonna make money the easy way.
- Check it! - Wait.
This is a pyramid scheme! Whoa, pyramid, as in mummies? I'm not sure you should do business with mummies.
Not that kind of pyramid! A pyramid scheme is an unsustainable business model, that promises payments to participants, based on the amount of additional people they enroll in the business, instead of focusing on the sale of goods or services to the public.
- Ah! - Oh - Mmm-hmm.
As you can see here, the exponential growth of the "business", will eventually cause the entire operation to collapse, leaving the participants at the bottom of the pyramid bankrupt, while those at the top walk away rich.
- Thus, the name "pyramid scheme".
- Interesting.
I do have the question.
Did the mummies build the pyramids? There are no mummies! It's not a literal pyramid! My point is there's no such thing as easy money.
- You need to earn it with hard labor.
- Ew, no way! Hard labor is for criminals and pregnant ladies.
But, if you lives on the top with the mummy, - you can get rich! - Well, technically, yes, but Cyborg is gonna get the most expensive present ever! Just give me a card.
Cough up that dough! - What are you doing to Beast Boy? - He was eating a cash salad, and I refuse to stand by and watch money being wasted.
- Cash salad? Any good? - Hmm, not really.
I just gots more money than I can spend, so I am thinking of new ways to use it, check it! Well, I bought a gold boat Bought a gold star Bought a gold bear Put him in a gold car Bought a gold fridge Filled it with some gold food Bought a gold me I call him the gold dude I'm makin' that money That pyramid mummy money I'm makin' money That pyramid scheme money Makin' that money The pyramid mummy money I'm making money The pyramid scheme money - # I stack my money brick by brick # - # Yeah! # Check my gold fronts I go lick, lick, lick Need a new wallet 'cause my money don't fit Bought a gold bomb that go tick, tick, tick Makin' that money That pyramid mummy money I'm making money That pyramid scheme money Makin' that money That pyramid mummy money I'm makin' money That pyramid scheme money Oh! Here's your birthday present, by the way.
- Ooh, sparkly! - So, where did you get all this cash? From the pyramid scheme, yo! I signed up and now I'm a money sheriff.
Ooh! What is the money sheriff? It's kind of like being president of your own company, but with a badge.
We want to wear badges and eat money! You want in, huh? Well, it's super easy.
- First, give me $100.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You don't give money to make money! That's like paying to have a job.
And those badges are worthless.
They're just to trick you into thinking you have some sort of status.
This is why it's called a pyramid scheme! - Here you go! - I love moneys! Great! Now, you're my money deputies.
Cool! Reach for the sky, compadres! - Bangs, bangs! Horse, horse! - Yee-haw! Lookin' good, y'all.
Like you wanna make that mummy money.
You are not cowboys, and there are no mummies in a pyramid scheme! You are participating in a fraudulent business.
What you need is honest work.
Hard labor.
I am not the prisoner! Bang bang! And I'm no pregnant woman.
We are cowboys, hombre! What's next, Sheriff? Get out there and recruit more deputies! Yee-haw! - Hungry, partner? - I'm not eating your filthy money.
Mmm, tastes real clean to me, buckaroo.
This is disgraceful behavior.
This pyramid scheme is going to leave you broke, Titans.
Us, big money cowboy millionaires? Broke? Get that cash out of your mouth! Give me that! Hurry.
No, no, no, no, don't eat that five! - Hey, I was still working on that! - Sorry, ma'am.
The boss wants his cut of the money, or we'll be six feet under.
See, only the person at the top of the pyramid gets any money.
Whoa! Oh, it's the boss! Whoa.
Mummy money.
- Is that a mummy? - Of course it is.
- And you're not surprised? - Not particularly.
You're not wondering where the mummy came from?! It came from the pyramid, where else is he supposed to come from? Mummy money.
Uh, here you go, Mummy.
Mummy money! - But But, there isn't anymore! - We ate the rest.
Mummy money! So hot.
- Mummy money.
- Okay, okay.
This is my fault.
All because I had to buy Cyborg the most expensive birthday present, he wanted so much! Look where your materialism has gotten us, Cyborg.
I would have been satisfied with a hug! I was wrong too, Beast Boy.
I thought pyramid schemes were dangerous because you risk losing your money.
But really, it's because of the mummies.
Mummy money.
- Sorry, guys.
- Well, Beast Boy, there's only one way to get out of financial trouble.
- You mean, hard labor? - We're already doing that, you varmint! - The other kind of hard labor.
- Oh, the pregnant kind.
Uh-huh, I think I hear what you're saying.
Remember to breathe, Beastie.
You're doing great! - Keep breathing.
- Almost there.
One more push! Ooh.
- Congratulations.
- Aw.
I'm a mama! Perfect! Now that you've learned the value of hard labor, let's get these chains off.
The key to saving ourselves was inside Beast Boy all along.
But, what are we going to do about all these mummies? - Did you forget, Beast Boy? - You're still the Sheriff.
And we are still your deputies.
Yee-haw, hombre! I won't let you down, Sheriff.
Then, let's get along, little doggies.
Mummy money! Huh? Yee-haw! Mummy money! This, here, pyramid ain't big enough for the both of us.
Mummy money.
Gold Bear, you crazy, dude.
Well, Titans, I hope y'all learned about the dangers - of pyramid schemes.
- The mummies are scary.
Super scary.
But being a cowboy, whoo, doggy is fun! Well, in that case, buckaroos, I know what we gots to do.
Ride into the sunset, baby.
Yee-haw!