Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987) s03e11 Episode Script

9059-002 - April's Fool [A.K.A. April Foolish]

Teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles heroes in a half shell turtle power they're the world's most fearsome fighting team We're really hip.
They're heroes in the half shell and they're green Hey, get a grip.
When the evil shredder attacks these turtle boys don't cut him no slack teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles splinter taught them to be ninja teens He's a radical rat.
Leonardo leads, Donatello does machines That's a fact, Jack.
Raphael is cool but rude Give me a break.
Michelangelo is a party dude teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles heroes in a half shell turtle power lions gate home entertainment and today the city welcomes emperor allister, ruler of malacuria, and his daughter, princess mallory.
The emperor is here to sell the mining rights to a newly discovered deposit of lidium 90 in his native malacuria.
Harder than diamond, more beautiful than gold, lidium 90 just may be the most valuable element on earth.
This is April O'Neill, channel 6 news.
April, I thought channel 6 was supposed to report happy news.
Ohh, I'm sorry.
But when I hear about diamonds and gold, I can only think of one thing-- an engagement ring, which, as you can see, I've got a severe shortage of.
We'll talk about it later, Irma.
Right now I've got to cover the party at the malacurian embassy tonight.
You're not going like that, are you? Well, of course.
What's wrong? You can't go to a fancy party looking like that.
Come on, I'll have you looking like a new woman in no time.
Why would I want to look like a new woman? 'Cause it's the best way to find a new man.
Oh, krang, this cooling system you built is useless.
It's hotter than Japanese horseradish in here.
And now another capacitator is down.
The technodrome needs more power! KRANG: I think I know where we can find some.
Where? Lidium 90 is the most powerful source of energy yet found on this miserable earth.
Even a fragment this small would power the technodrome out of this inferno.
If it's that valuable, it will be heavily guarded.
How will we get it? I'll think of something.
I always do.
Oh, what is that, sensei? It's called tekamaki-- raw tuna roll.
Have some, Michelangelo.
Whoa, major gross out.
No, thanks.
A wise person embraces as many new experiences as possible.
Master splinter, perhaps you'd like to try some pizza.
It's marshmallow and pepperoni.
Ugh! The wise person also realizes that some experiences are less embraceable than others.
Wow! Talk about embraceable.
Who is that? Hi, guys.
It's me.
Gosh, April.
You look just like aGirl.
You look lovely.
Truly tubuloso.
Yeah, you clean up real good.
April, you make this ancient rodent feel young again.
Thanks, guys.
You're all just a bunch of big green sweeties, and you're the nicest rodent I know.
And now I'm off to the malacurian embassy to cover a fancy party.
I think we should keep an eye on her.
Better yet, two.
Mondo notion, dude.
Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go.
[ALL SHOUTING.]
Watch my shell, buddy.
Father, I will not be chauffeured about and looked after like a child.
You are the princess of malacuria, and you will not leave this embassy unescorted.
Now please prepare for the masquerade.
I hate masquerades! You always make me go as a princess.
Oh, no.
It's a costume party.
Now I'll have to go home and change.
Just a moment, you! What's going on here? Oh, I'm sorry, your highness.
I didn't know it was you.
Your highness? But I'm not-- you should not be out here alone.
You must come with us.
It is time to dress for the masquerade.
Heh.
Sure, fellas.
Whatever you say.
Heh heh.
[SNORTS.]
This is a real great plan, boss.
Oh, yeah.
I love this plan.
Um, what was it again? The plan, you pathetic peons, is to kidnap princess mallory and ransom her for the lidium 90.
If you followed my instructions, we should be directly beneath the embassy basement.
Yeow! Ohh! You cretins.
This isn't the basement! What's going on there? Quickly, hide the module.
Are you here for the costume ball? Costume ball? What costume-- of course we are.
You will take us there at once.
As you wish.
Nice costumes, sir-- especially the, um, creatures.
Thank you.
I made them myself.
Well, Donatello, what do you see? Shredder and his 2 freakazoids.
Guys, I think we better take a closer look.
Right, dudes.
Let's scope out the action.
Oh, another princess costume.
This is so boring.
Father will be furious, but I'd rather see the city than a bunch of stuffy officials in some silly costumes.
Good evening, your highness.
Hmm, I could get to like this.
Your highness? Hello? Hmm.
As long as everyone thinks I'm the princess, I might as well go along with it.
Maybe I can get an exclusive story out of this.
Oh, why couldn't we stay at the party, boss? We're real party animals.
They also had my favorite chow-- shrimp puffs and cheese dip.
If you don't stop whining, I'll dip you in something a lot less pleasant than cheese.
THIS IS IT: The princess' room.
[BEEP BEEP.]
What a time for the turtlecom.
[BEEP BEEP.]
April here.
What's up? April, are you all right? We just spotted shredder and his 2 henchmutants.
Oh, you fellas are so sweet to worry about me.
I'm in princess mallory's room on the trail of a hot story-- grab her! With pleasure.
Let go of me, you--oh! April? April? April, answer me! April! She doesn't answer.
Something's wrong.
Yeah, and that something sounds like shredder.
Ooh, that does it.
We've got to get in that place.
Like how? We're not exactly first on the guest list.
Hey, chill out, dudes.
This won't be the first party we've crashed.
Michelangelo's right.
Let's do it! I think that's where we need to be.
Alley-oop, guys.
Up you go.
Which way now? Hey, I smellPizza! That way.
Pizza? At an embassy party? Hey, bud, you can be a head honcho and still have good taste.
Wow, dudes! Fabuloso blast! Too bad we won't have time to enjoy it.
We're here to find April.
Faster, you fools! We must get the princess back to the technodrome.
Ooh ooh, you mean before it turns into a pumpkin? That was a different princess, you bimbo.
All them princesses look alike to me.
Stop! Where are you taking the princess? We ain't got time to explain, chum.
Aaaah! Going down? Please face the front of the car.
[SNORTS.]
Mallory? Mallory, my dear, are you ready? Mallory! There's a note of some sort.
"We have the princess.
We will trade her for your lidium 90.
" Guards! Princess mallory has been kidnapped! Seal all the exits.
No one leaves this embassy until she's found.
Immediately, your grace.
What's this? It looks like some kind of turtle shell.
I'll take this.
Perhaps it's a clue.
[CRASH.]
Ohh! They must be sealing off the escape routes.
Blast through the floor! Quickly! Does this mean we don't get no shrimp puffs? [MUSIC PLAYING.]
Hoo hoo hoo! What a marvelous costume.
Would you care to dance? Well, actually, no.
How very scintillating.
What do you call that step? Turtle twirl.
[APPLAUSE.]
All right! Finally! Do you see April? No.
Something better.
It's pizza! Or at least it will be when it grows up.
Ladies and gentlemen, no one is to leave this embassy.
Princess mallory has been kidnapped.
Oh, I bet old shredhead's grabbed her, too.
April said she was in the princess' room.
Maybe she saw something.
Excuse us, lady.
Emergency.
Yeah, sorry.
Our dance card is full.
Kindly cooperate by showing your invitations and removing your face masks.
Uh-oh.
Major problemo, dudes.
We don't have invitations.
Worse than that, we don't have face masks.
Maybe we can slip out in the confusion.
Gentlemen, you will please remove your masks.
Heh.
Whatever you say.
Your face masks, please.
Ow! That hurts, bud.
Soldiers, they must have dropped this shell in mallory's room.
Guards, seize them! Come on! Oof! It's a lovely party, but we really can't stay.
Please, don't get up.
Cowabunga! Excitable group, aren't they? This will hold them.
Now to find April.
And the princess-- wherever she is.
REPORTER: And to repeat tonight's top story, princess mallory has been kidnapped from the malacurian embassy.
No, I haven't.
I'm right here.
Oh, poor father.
I've got to get back to the embassy.
Taxi, taxi! Bebop, blast the doors.
We're in the basement.
Now to find a way out of here.
Ooh! Oh, let me go, you slobbering beast.
Just wait till the turtles get their hands on you.
Wait.
That voice-- it sounds familiar.
Just as I thought.
This isn't princess mallory, you moronic mutants.
It's April O'Neill.
The dame reporter? What are we gonna do, boss? We're going to make the best of a bad situation.
Shredder, everywhere you go is a bad situation.
P.
A.
: Attention, kidnappers.
I have the lidium 90 in a helicopter waiting for you on the embassy roof.
Please let my daughter go! They think we have the princess.
Oh, I have an idea.
Unh! Well, so have I! After her! Aah! Unh! Ooh! Oof! Oof! She got away.
After her, you klutzes! If shredder heard that announcement, he's on his way to the roof.
How do we get there? This place has more twists than a pretzel factory.
I have a feeling it's that way.
Halt! Hands in the air or we'll open fire.
Well, so much for feelings.
For the last time, where is the princess? Well, fellas, I guess we have to tell them.
ALL: She went that way! Seize them! Stop! Leave them alone.
Oh, April, are we glad to see you.
April? What? April? Who is April? You are, remember? Maybe that new hairdo is pulling your brain too tight.
Mind how you speak to the princess of malacuria.
The princess? I have heard tales of you turtles, but I am curious as to why you are here.
We're searching for our friend April O'Neill.
She looks just like you, your highness.
Yeah, so much so that we think she got kidnapped instead of you.
Oh, no.
We must get to the roof.
Come, we'll take the back stairs.
Make sure the exits stay sealed.
Yes, your highness.
One of these doors should lead to the roof, but which one? Maybe it's this one.
You should have tried door number two.
Boo! Got you! You may not be the princess, but you look enough like her to ensure our safe getaway-- if you keep that pretty little mouth shut.
Not a chance, shredder.
As you wish.
I sure hope that's clean.
[DONATELLO PANTING.]
Are weAre we almost there? PRINCESS: Yes.
Just a few more steps.
Mallory! [MUFFLED SCREAMS.]
You fiends! Ha ha.
Nevertheless, a deal is a deal.
Rock steady, get the lidium 90.
Right, boss.
You have what you want.
Now release my daughter.
Only after I get where I'm going.
And don't try to follow us.
[SNORTS.]
You pulled it off, boss.
Stop that chopper! SHREDDER: The turtles! Oh, no, you don't, shredder! Oh, yes, I do, you bothersome turtles.
This time I won't lose.
Aah! Whoa! Remember, kids, we're professionals.
Don't try this at home.
[TURTLES SCREAMING.]
Oh, my poor daughter.
What will become of her? Father! Mallory, you're safe! But who's-- it's a long story.
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa, I think I'm losing my grip, guys! We've known that for a long time.
I can't hold on much longer! You won't have to.
Look.
The turtle blimp! Yeah.
I stashed it there.
I thought it might come in handy.
Great! Let's go! Banzai! Fire up the turtle blimp, Donatello.
We've got to get April back.
Come in, krang.
Are you there? Where else would I be, out nightclubbing? I'm 10 Miles beneath the surface of the earth! SHREDDER: I have the lidium 90.
Send a module alongside the art museum.
Ha ha! For once you've done something right.
Ho ho! Nothing can stop me now! LEONARDO: Stop right there, shredder! You're too late, turtles.
Which way did they go? This way.
After 'em, fellas! Cowabunga! Oh, can we stop and blast them, boss? Huh? Can we? Can we? Yeah.
They're like sitting ducks.
There's no time.
The module is on its way.
Donatello, what's happening? Beats me.
Krang, what-- what happened? Where's the module? It's inside the museum.
Inside the museum? You fool! You fouled up the triangulation.
So sue me.
Into the museum! Hurry! They're going inside.
So are we.
Now, where's that blasted module? [SQUEAK.]
Something tells me it's there.
Hey, dudes, sculpt this out.
Yeah, I may not know about art, but I know what I like.
Turtles, help! APRIL: Help! Over here! It's April! This way! Like, how are we going to find her? Yeah, there are so many rooms in this place.
Well, looks like we're in luck.
DONATELLO: And shredder's has just run out.
Oh, no! It's those wretched amphibians again.
Now can we blast them, boss? Blast away, my moronic mutants! Stop! I am placing you under house arrest.
Much as I hate to disobey a royal command Uhh! We've got to stop them.
It's no use.
It won't budge.
Aah, watch out! Ooh! Ow! Hey! Ow! Ooh! What was that? Krang must've flooded the tube with lava.
It looks like shredder beat us this time.
No, he didn't.
The lidium 90 sample is worthless.
Worthless? Lidium 90 is highly unstable.
Subjecting it to pressures like those found will cause it to disintegrate, maybe even explode.
Explode? Awesome concept.
How about that? Old tin grin got faked out.
By the way, congratulations.
Your turtle costumes won first prize.
Yeah, I guess they are kind of original.
Oh, no, not for originality, for ridiculousness.
Here, krang, the lidium 90.
Give it here.
Give it! Give it! What's going on here? I don't know, but I'm not waiting to find out.
[COUGHING.]
Shredder, you idiot! I could have been blown to bits! So sue me.
And that's how it all happened, sensei.
You have done well, my turtles.
Thank you, master splinter.
As for you, April, I hope this has taught you a lesson.
It certainly has.
I learned that a disguise is a great way to get a story.
There's a convention of bald-headed diplomats in town next week.
Maybe I could pass as one of them.
Well, what do you think? Paint that thing green, and you can pass as one of us.
[TURTLES LAUGHING.]
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