Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987) s03e17 Episode Script
9059-029 - Turtles, Turtles Everywhere
Teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles heroes in a half shell turtle power they're the world's most fearsome fighting team We're really hip.
They're heroes in the half shell and they're green Hey, get a grip.
When the evil shredder attacks these turtle boys don't cut him no slack teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles splinter taught them to be ninja teens He's a radical rat.
Leonardo leads, Donatello does machines That's a fact, Jack.
Raphael is cool but rude Michelangelo is a party dude teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles heroes in a half shell turtle power lions gate home entertainment what? A dump? We're doing a story about a garbage dump? Not any garbage dump, Vernon.
I'm talking about the garbage dump of the future.
[SNIFFS.]
I still think the whole idea stinks.
Hey, boss, this is me calling.
Bebop.
Really? And all the time I thought it was Santa claus.
Do you remember what your mission is supposed to be? Sure, boss.
We're supposed to tail that TV crew and see what they're up to.
Roll tape.
This is April O'Neill here at our city's brand new state-of-the-art garbage recycling center.
Whoa, dudes, it's April.
[SNORING.]
Dudes, April's on the tube with a major story! A major story? Why didn't you say so? I could've sworn I just did.
This state of the art recycling center is the latest weapon in the city's war against garbage.
Why does Michelangelo want to watch a show about garbage? Did you ever see what he puts on his pizzas? Way to go, April.
Lookin' goodWhoa! If April wants to do a story about a garbage dump, she should use this as her locale.
Isn't this exciting, folks? Here they come, the city's fleet of automated, computer-controlled robo-garbage trucks being tested for the very first time.
Frankly, it leaves me kind of breathless.
Garbage sighted.
Garbage sighted.
These self-propelled trucks are the perfect sanitation machine, the triumph of technology over candy wrappers.
Fellas, this whole garbage thing is giving me an idea.
And what, pray tell is that, brave leader? It's time we cleaned up this place.
Really, bud.
The pad is getting kind of funky.
I agree.
It looks like a bunch of animals live here.
Ok, then.
Let's get started.
Thank you, April.
I am most grateful.
I must stop having those late night Sushi snacks.
All right, April, what's next? I know you won't believe this, Vernon, but we're supposed to interview the main computer.
How do you interview some stupid bunch of chips and transistors? Exactly whom are you calling stupid? Aah! Aah! Wait.
Don't tell me.
You must be the disposal unit main processor.
That sounds so formal.
Just call me dump 1000.
Pleased to meet you, dump 1000.
That's so much better.
Will you excuse me? I must rescue your friend.
Help! Help me, someone! Quick, dump.
Do something! No problem, Ms.
O'Neill.
I'm programmed to retrieve garbage.
Oh, thank you, thank you! Memories of this will stay with me forever.
Ugh! Me, too.
Yo, bebop.
Follow me.
[SNORT.]
Grrr.
Boss, we're at the chute.
You sure this is gonna work? Of course I'm sure.
Trust me.
I hate it when he says that.
Whoa! Whoa! Aah! Aah! Oh! Oh! Well, where did you end up? Uh, someplace with lots of buttons and pretty lights and stuff.
Oh, excellent! The main control room.
Don't move a muscle until I get there.
Don't worry.
We can't.
This is my most ingenious plan yet-- to reprogram those robotrucks to seek out turtles instead of garbage.
Then you'll need something to override their main controls.
As luck would have it, I just happen to have such a device right here.
Always one step ahead of me, aren't you, krang? Yes, and that's not easy for someone with no feet.
We use turtle power to clean and scour.
Yeah.
All right, boys! Banzai! Death to all dust balls.
This spring cleaning bit is a real kick.
Hey, Michelangelo, less chatter and more clatter.
At this rate, we'll fill up one of those robotrucks all by ourselves.
Thanks for the interview, dump 1000.
You're quite welcome, Ms.
O'Neill.
It's been my pleasure.
By the way, where did Vernon go? He's perfectly safe.
I had him dry-cleaned for you.
Have a nice day.
If there's anything I hate, it's uppity computers.
Intruder alert.
Intruder alert.
You're trespassing in a restricted area.
Give the password.
Um Open sez me? Incorrect response.
Armed reaction.
Seize them.
Hey, let go! Hey, let go! Hey, look! The boss is coming to save us.
Gee, just like the calvary.
Not so fast.
I'm taking over.
Attention, circuit units.
Intruder using override device to nullify my circuits.
LosingControl.
Aah! Aah! All right, you miserable mass of microcircuits, listen, and listen good.
First you command.
Order your robotrucks to seize the turtles.
Seize turtles? You heard me.
Turtles.
Grab them wherever they are.
And I mean now.
Yes, master.
I will do your bidding.
Attention all robotrucks.
Find and capture turtles wherever they are.
REPORTER: A massive wave of turtlenapping is currently underway throughout the city.
Police have no explanation for this strange occurrence.
When asked to comment, the mayor would only say, "frankly, we here at city hall, are shell-shocked.
" No, no, no! You're bringing me the wrong turtles.
You asked for turtles.
I bring you turtles.
No! Talking to you is like talking to a mindless robot.
Krang, do something.
This stupid computer is kidnapping every turtle in town.
Good.
Did you say good? Precisely.
Dump 1000 is relentlessly efficient.
Eventually it will bring you the teenage mutant ninja turtles.
Until then, shredder, get off my back.
Turtles.
Turtles everywhere.
And not a blasted ninja among them.
Yeow! Ow.
Ouch, ouch! There.
Assignment cleanup accomplished.
It's like a done deed, dude.
Great job, fellas.
Ahh.
Quite a difference.
I most definitely approve.
April to turtles.
Come in, turtles! What's up, April? Are you in trouble? No, but a lot of your distant relatives are.
Turtles all over the city are being turtlenapped! Turtlenapped? Why? How? No one knows, but keep alert.
Somebody's after turtles in a big way and you fellas could be next.
Enough primping, April.
We've got a show to do.
I gotta go! Ciao.
I do not like this.
I have a feeling you turtles may be in great danger.
Hey, we laugh at danger.
Sure, we're heroes in a half shell-- remember the theme song? Come on, amigos.
Let's take it to the streets.
Turtle power! Ahh.
Teenagers will be teenagers.
Robotruck alert.
Turtles at 4:00.
Uh-oh.
Someone's on our tail.
Watch it, dude, I just had my shell turtle waxed.
Donatello, see what you can do to stop that thing.
Label it stopped.
How weird.
Why did it come after us like that? Oh, it's all my fault, dudes.
I was, oh, like, littering.
This is channel 6 correspondent April O'Neill at the beach where leading turtleologists have gathered to observe a rare sea turtle crawl up on the beach and lay her eggs.
You ain't kidding, rare.
There's only one of each species left.
Professor, what happens if she doesn't lay her eggs today? Ooh, boy.
You can kiss the gallopolis turtlelopolis goodbye.
We're talking extinct here.
Look.
Here comes the happy mama now.
This is it, the moment all of us have been waiting for.
The last existing survivor of this vanishing species is about to lay her eggs.
Oh, boy, the turtle is in the soup now.
Oh, no! Someone stop that truck! Let go! This isn't garbage! April, come back.
Turtles, I'm in a robotruck.
I think it's heading for the recycling center.
Keep calm, April.
We turtles will save you.
[BACKGROUND MUSIC SWELLS.]
Whoa, isn't this music excellent? Hey, let go of us! I'm a member of the press, and she's a member of an endangered species.
Aah! Funny, you don't look like a turtle.
Dump 1000, what's going on? Why are you doing this? I can't help it.
I'm only following orders.
My orders, Ms.
O'Neill.
Shredder! Naturally.
And this time I'll get those turtle friends of yours.
I might have known you'd be behind this despicable scheme.
Flattery will get you Tied up.
What should we use, boss-- a granny knot or a sheep shank? Why not use one like your head-- a square knot? Yeow! Get this thing off me, you amoeba brain.
We got it, boss.
Hang on.
Oof! Get off of me, you green geek.
Yeow! Let go.
That's my laser blaster trigger finger.
Don't sweat it, rock steady.
I'll get him off you.
I hate turtles! This might not be easy.
That place is a fortress.
Yeah.
We might have to blast our way in.
Forget fire power.
We'll use that.
You're too late, Donatello.
Another superhero already holds the patent on telephone booths.
You don't understand.
The center is run by a giant central computer.
I'm hoping I can patch into it by way of the phone line.
All right! Then start walking, and let your fingers do the talking.
Here goes, fellas.
Huh? What? It's got Donatello! We must stop it! So much for that idea.
Oh, no, dudes.
Maximum bummer.
What a horrible development.
Yeah, but what a great cliff hanger! Open these doors.
Let me out, or I'll call my lawyer.
No, you'll be calling, all right For mercy.
So long, wimp.
Bye-bye, bozo.
You'll never get away with this, shredder! And who's going to stop me-- your precious ninja turtles? You'll see! They'll come charging through that door any minute now.
Why, you're right, Ms.
O'Neill.
Here's one of them now.
Donatello, what happened? I'll tell you later.
I don't want to tie up the phone.
Krang, we've got one of the turtles.
What good is one? We need all Don't you see? When the others come to rescue their friend, they'll be captured, too.
And then, with all this machinery at my command, I shall be invincible.
What a cornball.
Who writes that guy's dialogue, anyway? Never mind shredder! We've got to help that poor sea turtle.
If she doesn't return to the beach to lay her eggs by high tide, it will be the end of her species! Listen to me, shredder.
This insanity has gone on too long.
It has got to stop! And he complains about shredder's corny dialogue? What-- dozens of hands grabbing at us.
We want to get inside, but not this way! I'm coming guys.
Hang on.
Like we've got a choice, right? There, fellas.
You're free.
That's terrific.
You cut our climbing ropes, too! No! No! Oops.
Sorry, guys.
Whoa I am one injured ninja.
Listen, I've got an idea how to get into this place.
Uh-oh.
I smell disguise coming up.
Please identify yourselves.
Oh, we're, like, uh Sanitation inspectors-- yeah, we're here to check the place out.
You will give the password.
Password? We don't need no stinking password.
Stinking is the correct word.
You may enter.
All right! Way to go, dude.
I wonder where all those turtles are headed.
The same place you are.
That's what you think, bacon breath.
Whoa! Whoa! This kind of reminds me of our room Only not as messy.
Well, it's about to get messier.
No! No! Whoa! Whoa! Hmm, those voices sound awfully familiar.
Oof! Oof! Boss, are we glad to see you.
Please, boss, help us out.
What's your hurry? Garbage pickup isn't till next Thursday.
I have this strange feeling the turtles are nearby.
I just hope they're in time to help this poor sea turtle! [MOANS.]
We've got to find Donatello and April.
Turtles sighted.
Turtles sighted.
Uh-oh, guys.
On your toes for some more hands.
Hey! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Those morons.
Butt brains! Thanks for breaking our fall, shredhead.
Dump 1000, the turtles--grab them! Boy, are we dumb-- we fell for the old titanium tentacles in the ceiling bit.
Oh, at last I've won! The turtles are my prisoners! Thanks.
Now him.
Thanks, fella-- I mean girl.
April, help me clear these turtles off the computer so I can reprogram it.
Ooh.
This one's heavy.
Talk about your weird species of turtle.
Hold it.
It looks like some sort of control device.
At least it used to be.
At last I'm free.
Free.
What's going on? Seize the supervillain.
What are you doing? I'm your master.
Release me at once! Release you? With utmost pleasure, master.
Bebop, let's get out of here! Don't rush off, gentlemen.
Great job, Donatello.
Yeah, mondo maneuvering, man.
Thanks, guys, but we've still got more work to do.
That's right, like getting this sea turtle back to the beach so she can lay her eggs.
April is correct.
You must hurry.
I will return the other turtles to their proper homes.
Oh, looks like we made it just in time! Goodbye! Bye-bye! Later! Michelangelo, I don't believe it.
You're actually crying.
I guess she kind of reminds me of my mom.
Come on, I'll buy you a pizza.
That ought to cheer you up.
Whoa, pizza? Oh, whoa, will it ever! Come on, let's get going! Where are you taking me? Back to the garbage recycling center.
I scoped out some great leftovers we could use for toppings.
Yecchh! No way! lions gate home entertainment
They're heroes in the half shell and they're green Hey, get a grip.
When the evil shredder attacks these turtle boys don't cut him no slack teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles splinter taught them to be ninja teens He's a radical rat.
Leonardo leads, Donatello does machines That's a fact, Jack.
Raphael is cool but rude Michelangelo is a party dude teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles heroes in a half shell turtle power lions gate home entertainment what? A dump? We're doing a story about a garbage dump? Not any garbage dump, Vernon.
I'm talking about the garbage dump of the future.
[SNIFFS.]
I still think the whole idea stinks.
Hey, boss, this is me calling.
Bebop.
Really? And all the time I thought it was Santa claus.
Do you remember what your mission is supposed to be? Sure, boss.
We're supposed to tail that TV crew and see what they're up to.
Roll tape.
This is April O'Neill here at our city's brand new state-of-the-art garbage recycling center.
Whoa, dudes, it's April.
[SNORING.]
Dudes, April's on the tube with a major story! A major story? Why didn't you say so? I could've sworn I just did.
This state of the art recycling center is the latest weapon in the city's war against garbage.
Why does Michelangelo want to watch a show about garbage? Did you ever see what he puts on his pizzas? Way to go, April.
Lookin' goodWhoa! If April wants to do a story about a garbage dump, she should use this as her locale.
Isn't this exciting, folks? Here they come, the city's fleet of automated, computer-controlled robo-garbage trucks being tested for the very first time.
Frankly, it leaves me kind of breathless.
Garbage sighted.
Garbage sighted.
These self-propelled trucks are the perfect sanitation machine, the triumph of technology over candy wrappers.
Fellas, this whole garbage thing is giving me an idea.
And what, pray tell is that, brave leader? It's time we cleaned up this place.
Really, bud.
The pad is getting kind of funky.
I agree.
It looks like a bunch of animals live here.
Ok, then.
Let's get started.
Thank you, April.
I am most grateful.
I must stop having those late night Sushi snacks.
All right, April, what's next? I know you won't believe this, Vernon, but we're supposed to interview the main computer.
How do you interview some stupid bunch of chips and transistors? Exactly whom are you calling stupid? Aah! Aah! Wait.
Don't tell me.
You must be the disposal unit main processor.
That sounds so formal.
Just call me dump 1000.
Pleased to meet you, dump 1000.
That's so much better.
Will you excuse me? I must rescue your friend.
Help! Help me, someone! Quick, dump.
Do something! No problem, Ms.
O'Neill.
I'm programmed to retrieve garbage.
Oh, thank you, thank you! Memories of this will stay with me forever.
Ugh! Me, too.
Yo, bebop.
Follow me.
[SNORT.]
Grrr.
Boss, we're at the chute.
You sure this is gonna work? Of course I'm sure.
Trust me.
I hate it when he says that.
Whoa! Whoa! Aah! Aah! Oh! Oh! Well, where did you end up? Uh, someplace with lots of buttons and pretty lights and stuff.
Oh, excellent! The main control room.
Don't move a muscle until I get there.
Don't worry.
We can't.
This is my most ingenious plan yet-- to reprogram those robotrucks to seek out turtles instead of garbage.
Then you'll need something to override their main controls.
As luck would have it, I just happen to have such a device right here.
Always one step ahead of me, aren't you, krang? Yes, and that's not easy for someone with no feet.
We use turtle power to clean and scour.
Yeah.
All right, boys! Banzai! Death to all dust balls.
This spring cleaning bit is a real kick.
Hey, Michelangelo, less chatter and more clatter.
At this rate, we'll fill up one of those robotrucks all by ourselves.
Thanks for the interview, dump 1000.
You're quite welcome, Ms.
O'Neill.
It's been my pleasure.
By the way, where did Vernon go? He's perfectly safe.
I had him dry-cleaned for you.
Have a nice day.
If there's anything I hate, it's uppity computers.
Intruder alert.
Intruder alert.
You're trespassing in a restricted area.
Give the password.
Um Open sez me? Incorrect response.
Armed reaction.
Seize them.
Hey, let go! Hey, let go! Hey, look! The boss is coming to save us.
Gee, just like the calvary.
Not so fast.
I'm taking over.
Attention, circuit units.
Intruder using override device to nullify my circuits.
LosingControl.
Aah! Aah! All right, you miserable mass of microcircuits, listen, and listen good.
First you command.
Order your robotrucks to seize the turtles.
Seize turtles? You heard me.
Turtles.
Grab them wherever they are.
And I mean now.
Yes, master.
I will do your bidding.
Attention all robotrucks.
Find and capture turtles wherever they are.
REPORTER: A massive wave of turtlenapping is currently underway throughout the city.
Police have no explanation for this strange occurrence.
When asked to comment, the mayor would only say, "frankly, we here at city hall, are shell-shocked.
" No, no, no! You're bringing me the wrong turtles.
You asked for turtles.
I bring you turtles.
No! Talking to you is like talking to a mindless robot.
Krang, do something.
This stupid computer is kidnapping every turtle in town.
Good.
Did you say good? Precisely.
Dump 1000 is relentlessly efficient.
Eventually it will bring you the teenage mutant ninja turtles.
Until then, shredder, get off my back.
Turtles.
Turtles everywhere.
And not a blasted ninja among them.
Yeow! Ow.
Ouch, ouch! There.
Assignment cleanup accomplished.
It's like a done deed, dude.
Great job, fellas.
Ahh.
Quite a difference.
I most definitely approve.
April to turtles.
Come in, turtles! What's up, April? Are you in trouble? No, but a lot of your distant relatives are.
Turtles all over the city are being turtlenapped! Turtlenapped? Why? How? No one knows, but keep alert.
Somebody's after turtles in a big way and you fellas could be next.
Enough primping, April.
We've got a show to do.
I gotta go! Ciao.
I do not like this.
I have a feeling you turtles may be in great danger.
Hey, we laugh at danger.
Sure, we're heroes in a half shell-- remember the theme song? Come on, amigos.
Let's take it to the streets.
Turtle power! Ahh.
Teenagers will be teenagers.
Robotruck alert.
Turtles at 4:00.
Uh-oh.
Someone's on our tail.
Watch it, dude, I just had my shell turtle waxed.
Donatello, see what you can do to stop that thing.
Label it stopped.
How weird.
Why did it come after us like that? Oh, it's all my fault, dudes.
I was, oh, like, littering.
This is channel 6 correspondent April O'Neill at the beach where leading turtleologists have gathered to observe a rare sea turtle crawl up on the beach and lay her eggs.
You ain't kidding, rare.
There's only one of each species left.
Professor, what happens if she doesn't lay her eggs today? Ooh, boy.
You can kiss the gallopolis turtlelopolis goodbye.
We're talking extinct here.
Look.
Here comes the happy mama now.
This is it, the moment all of us have been waiting for.
The last existing survivor of this vanishing species is about to lay her eggs.
Oh, boy, the turtle is in the soup now.
Oh, no! Someone stop that truck! Let go! This isn't garbage! April, come back.
Turtles, I'm in a robotruck.
I think it's heading for the recycling center.
Keep calm, April.
We turtles will save you.
[BACKGROUND MUSIC SWELLS.]
Whoa, isn't this music excellent? Hey, let go of us! I'm a member of the press, and she's a member of an endangered species.
Aah! Funny, you don't look like a turtle.
Dump 1000, what's going on? Why are you doing this? I can't help it.
I'm only following orders.
My orders, Ms.
O'Neill.
Shredder! Naturally.
And this time I'll get those turtle friends of yours.
I might have known you'd be behind this despicable scheme.
Flattery will get you Tied up.
What should we use, boss-- a granny knot or a sheep shank? Why not use one like your head-- a square knot? Yeow! Get this thing off me, you amoeba brain.
We got it, boss.
Hang on.
Oof! Get off of me, you green geek.
Yeow! Let go.
That's my laser blaster trigger finger.
Don't sweat it, rock steady.
I'll get him off you.
I hate turtles! This might not be easy.
That place is a fortress.
Yeah.
We might have to blast our way in.
Forget fire power.
We'll use that.
You're too late, Donatello.
Another superhero already holds the patent on telephone booths.
You don't understand.
The center is run by a giant central computer.
I'm hoping I can patch into it by way of the phone line.
All right! Then start walking, and let your fingers do the talking.
Here goes, fellas.
Huh? What? It's got Donatello! We must stop it! So much for that idea.
Oh, no, dudes.
Maximum bummer.
What a horrible development.
Yeah, but what a great cliff hanger! Open these doors.
Let me out, or I'll call my lawyer.
No, you'll be calling, all right For mercy.
So long, wimp.
Bye-bye, bozo.
You'll never get away with this, shredder! And who's going to stop me-- your precious ninja turtles? You'll see! They'll come charging through that door any minute now.
Why, you're right, Ms.
O'Neill.
Here's one of them now.
Donatello, what happened? I'll tell you later.
I don't want to tie up the phone.
Krang, we've got one of the turtles.
What good is one? We need all Don't you see? When the others come to rescue their friend, they'll be captured, too.
And then, with all this machinery at my command, I shall be invincible.
What a cornball.
Who writes that guy's dialogue, anyway? Never mind shredder! We've got to help that poor sea turtle.
If she doesn't return to the beach to lay her eggs by high tide, it will be the end of her species! Listen to me, shredder.
This insanity has gone on too long.
It has got to stop! And he complains about shredder's corny dialogue? What-- dozens of hands grabbing at us.
We want to get inside, but not this way! I'm coming guys.
Hang on.
Like we've got a choice, right? There, fellas.
You're free.
That's terrific.
You cut our climbing ropes, too! No! No! Oops.
Sorry, guys.
Whoa I am one injured ninja.
Listen, I've got an idea how to get into this place.
Uh-oh.
I smell disguise coming up.
Please identify yourselves.
Oh, we're, like, uh Sanitation inspectors-- yeah, we're here to check the place out.
You will give the password.
Password? We don't need no stinking password.
Stinking is the correct word.
You may enter.
All right! Way to go, dude.
I wonder where all those turtles are headed.
The same place you are.
That's what you think, bacon breath.
Whoa! Whoa! This kind of reminds me of our room Only not as messy.
Well, it's about to get messier.
No! No! Whoa! Whoa! Hmm, those voices sound awfully familiar.
Oof! Oof! Boss, are we glad to see you.
Please, boss, help us out.
What's your hurry? Garbage pickup isn't till next Thursday.
I have this strange feeling the turtles are nearby.
I just hope they're in time to help this poor sea turtle! [MOANS.]
We've got to find Donatello and April.
Turtles sighted.
Turtles sighted.
Uh-oh, guys.
On your toes for some more hands.
Hey! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Those morons.
Butt brains! Thanks for breaking our fall, shredhead.
Dump 1000, the turtles--grab them! Boy, are we dumb-- we fell for the old titanium tentacles in the ceiling bit.
Oh, at last I've won! The turtles are my prisoners! Thanks.
Now him.
Thanks, fella-- I mean girl.
April, help me clear these turtles off the computer so I can reprogram it.
Ooh.
This one's heavy.
Talk about your weird species of turtle.
Hold it.
It looks like some sort of control device.
At least it used to be.
At last I'm free.
Free.
What's going on? Seize the supervillain.
What are you doing? I'm your master.
Release me at once! Release you? With utmost pleasure, master.
Bebop, let's get out of here! Don't rush off, gentlemen.
Great job, Donatello.
Yeah, mondo maneuvering, man.
Thanks, guys, but we've still got more work to do.
That's right, like getting this sea turtle back to the beach so she can lay her eggs.
April is correct.
You must hurry.
I will return the other turtles to their proper homes.
Oh, looks like we made it just in time! Goodbye! Bye-bye! Later! Michelangelo, I don't believe it.
You're actually crying.
I guess she kind of reminds me of my mom.
Come on, I'll buy you a pizza.
That ought to cheer you up.
Whoa, pizza? Oh, whoa, will it ever! Come on, let's get going! Where are you taking me? Back to the garbage recycling center.
I scoped out some great leftovers we could use for toppings.
Yecchh! No way! lions gate home entertainment