Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987) s03e28 Episode Script

9059-019 - Beware the Lotus

Teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles heroes in a half shell turtle power they're the world's most fearsome fighting team We're really hip.
They're heroes in the half shell and they're green Hey, get a grip.
When the evil shredder attacks these turtle boys don't cut him no slack teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles splinter taught them to be ninja teens He's a radical rat.
Leonardo leads, Donatello does machines That's a fact, Jack.
Raphael is cool but rude Michelangelo is a party dude teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles heroes in a half shell turtle power lions gate entertainment.
Oh, look at that beautiful moon.
Oh, just made for romance.
Irma, quit mooning about romance.
We've got a newscast to do.
You should pick on Irma, Mr.
Thompson.
Every woman in town feels the way Irma does.
Hmm.
Every woman in town, huh? I smell ratings.
Perfume, flowers, long moonlit walks-- that's it! We'll do a series of live reports on romance from all over the city.
Well, April, finally a milksop story you're qualified to cover.
I'm glad you agree, Vernon, 'cause you'll be her cameraman.
Oh, great.
Oh, please, Mr.
Thompson, why can't I do a story on all the crazy crimes that happen when there's a full moon? Because I want romance! Take a number and get in line.
[HOWL.]
All right! Way to go, wolfman.
That is one hairy dude.
What do you expect? The poor slob is half-human and half-animal.
What am I saying? Remember, join us for a special channel 6 series on romance under a full moon.
Come on! Boo! Boo! How bogus, dude.
Some people just have no taste.
Shredder, I need you! That's what I keep trying to tell you, krang.
Aww, I see you're wearing your best suit.
What's the occasion? You'll see.
A demonstration, please.
Ohh! I prefer to see the agony on the faces of my enemies as I destroy them.
What? I am lotus, ninja warrior! Ahh, boss, he's a dame! Lotus is your replacement.
A female ninja? Why not? I'm an equal opportunity tyrant.
No mere slip of a girl can replace me.
I challenge you to a ninja contest! Your challenge is accepted.
WhoaOoh! Bravo, lotus! I'd applaud, if I had hands.
You'll regret that.
Ah, ah.
The ninja who loses his temper, loses the battle.
And you are about to lose your pretty little head.
Aah! [CRASH.]
Hey, no ninja bimbo can do that to our boss.
Yeah, we'll fix her wagon.
Whoa! [CRASH.]
Well, at least after we fix her wagon, we'll have plenty of oil to grease it with.
Well, shredder, had enough proof? I'm going, krang, but hear me well.
The day will come when you'll beg me to return.
Excellent, my dear lotus! I can't wait to see what you have in store for the turtles.
A more tragic fate, I assure you.
Just remember our bargain.
Yes, yes, But for that price, I want to personally witness their end.
I am coming to the surface with you! Uh, where to now, boss? To find the turtles before lotus does.
I'll show krang I'm not to be sneezed at! AhAh Ah-choo! Whoa! Wherever you boys came from, you must not have been too popular.
We want a room with a bath.
Well, I can see you already brought your own feather beds.
One room and no wisecracks.
Oh, yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
Now, the first in April O'Neill's reports on romance under a full moon.
There's nothing like the right fragrance to set the stage for romance.
That's why we're here at the olaf perfume factory to ask monsieur olaf how he develops his romantic fragrances.
Oh, it is highly, um, how you say, top secret, mademoiselle.
Behind that door we have a scent analyzer that can sniff out any fragrance.
An armed guard? Oui, we have 2 more on the other side-- hyah! [SCREAMS.]
Aah! These perfume makers play too rough for me! Gang way! Mon dieu! The scent analyzer! Just as I feared.
It is gone! But there's something left in it's place.
A lotus blossom? What can it mean? Yeah, we at aqualand, hope you enjoyed meeting these gentle creatures of the sea.
And that concludes our giant sea turtle show for this evening.
You are Dr.
gillman, the marine biologist? Yeah, I have that pleasure.
I wonder if I might speak to you alone? I'm sorry, miss, it's closing time and I'm all tied up.
You could not be more right! What on earth You have analyzed the genetic code of turtles.
I need that code! Yeah? And what will you do if I should refuse? This--hyah! Yeah.
Just curious.
It's in the red folder.
Whoever stole olaf's scent analyzer left this lotus blossom.
And now the woman who stole Dr.
gillman's genetic formula left one, too! There's must be some connection, but what? Sounds to me like some flipped out florist.
I would not be too certain.
This appears to be the work of a superior mind.
First we take the genetic code for turtles, install it into the scent analyzer, which is programmed to seek out turtles.
The bigger they are, the easier to find! Hmm, you have a flair for the scientific.
I believe we will make an undefeatable team! The turtles lair is that way! Well, guys, I've got to do another romance report in 15 minutes.
Permit me, April.
This lotus reminds me of someone I heard about years ago in Japan.
A young girl, of amazing skill who wished to become a ninja.
But soon she surpassed all the masters who tried to instruct her.
Even at that tender age, no man could match her skill.
Wow! That was a great flashback, master splinter.
So who was that girl? Her name was-- [CRASH.]
Her name is lotus! Foot soldiers, seize him! Aah! They stun-gunned master splinter! Low blow, dudes.
Let's teach them some turtle manners.
Mr.
Thompson, the ratings show a 5-point jump since April's first romance report.
I knew it would get big numbers! There are a lot of romantic females out there.
In fact, April's next report is due on right now.
I can't pass up this story! Go now! And now we go live to April O'Neill for a report on romance.
Cowabunga! What kind of romance is this? Looks like my last blind date.
Only that guy's a better dancer What is going on? And I guess we gave those foot soldiers the boot.
Hold on.
Where's master splinter? Bummer, dudes.
They got him.
Come on, let's go! Not so fast, green one.
First you must get past lotus.
She's magnificent! Lotus, I don't want to fight you.
Then you had better surrender! Ahh, no way, lady! Ah, nice costumes, gentlemen.
Better than those chicken suits you arrived in.
Quiet, you idiot.
Ooh, look, boss.
It's that turtle Leonardo.
And that lotus bimbo.
Ahh, you try my patience, reptile! Wow, you're good! You're not bad yourself.
Ugh! Cream her, shell head! Ahh, take them apart, lotus.
Someone trash someone.
Go! Go ! Go! Go! Go! Go! Um, gentlemen, I'm afraid this is a bit too stimulating.
[SCREAMS.]
Ok.
Look, why don't you just give up so we can catch our breath? I'm not A bit tired.
All right then, I give up.
Ahh! I accept your surrender.
Hey, uh! Sayonara for now.
Our viewers are really upset.
They think we cancelled the romance report for some corny ninja movie.
That does it! Cut off April's feed.
Ah, thank goodness! I'm safe at last.
Not yet you aren't.
What happened to the romantic perfumes report? It's too dangerous.
I left April to do it.
I'm giving you another chance.
Find the nearest florist and do a report on the romance of roses.
Uh, but, but, oh! Now, hurry.
You're on in exactly Did you find splinter? Major wipe out, babe.
Not a trace.
Hey, what's with Leonardo? Lotus' suckered him with a trick sword.
It knocked him silly.
Why, that lowdown, double-dealing cheater! No, no! She's cunning.
She's treacherous.
Ah, she's wonderful! Why, Leonardo, under that tough shell beats the heart of a true romantic.
Swell.
Would you kindly tell Romeo that Juliet's goons just kidnapped our sensei? Master splinter? What are we waiting? Let's rescue him! MR.
THOMPSON: April, wherever you are, get over to aqualand and start doing your next romance report.
Aqualand? All right, Mr.
Thompson.
A flower shop.
I've got to find a flower shop.
And now, here's Vernon fenwick with the channel 6 special report on the romance of roses.
Oh, no! That's me! Thank heavens.
I'm here at this quaint little flower stand in little Tokyo with the most romantic roses.
Oh, so sorry.
No roses.
Only lotus blossoms! A beautiful lady who live upstairs buys them all the time.
Lotus blossoms? So that's her hide out! And in 5 minutes, April O'Neill reports from romantic aqualand.
Come with me.
We're going to aqualand.
We're going to lead the turtles back to lotus.
We're helping the turtles? Ain't nothing sacred no more? It's so they can finish each other off.
This is April O'Neill here on the romantic ocean view walk at aqualand.
Finally, a report on romance.
The perfect spot to hold hands and gaze at the moon with someone you-- [CRASH.]
[SCREAMS.]
Oh, my goodness! Aah! Lotus could have taken master splinter anywhere.
It like looking for a needle in a haystack.
Hey, dudes, check out the tube.
The scene here at aqualand is one of total destruction.
No wonder.
It's bebop and rock steady.
Donatello, head for aqualand! The turtles! I knew this would bring them.
Don't lose him, Donatello.
Assignment completed.
The gold, please.
Not yet.
I still don't have the turtles.
[CAR APPROACHES.]
The turtles! How did they find us? What difference does it make? Bring the rodent here.
It's master splinter! Stop right there, turtles.
One more step and I make this rat go splat! Surrender your weapons or this rat goes flat! Those scuzz buckets have got splinter.
Do as he says.
Cool it, dudes.
We're dropping them.
I'll try to slip in the back way.
Can you stall krang? Can turtles break dance? Looks like they're going to rumble, huh, boss? Yes.
And no matter who loses, it'll be someone I hate.
Get in, April.
Bern says you've got one last chance to do that segment on romance.
After that incredible footage? Mutants trashing an amusement park is not bern Thompson's idea of romance.
How am I going to find a florist on such short notice? I know just the place.
Welcome, Leonardo.
I hope you are well rested after our last battle? Ahh, I had a pleasant nap, thanks to that trick sword of yours.
Ahh, I had no choice.
You are most skillful.
As a team, you and I would be unbeatable! Except I battle for the cause of good.
For you, Leonardo, I would give up crime.
Join me and together we will be ninjas for hire! Enough stalling.
Seize them! Ah, what a letdown.
All those weapons and no fighting.
Ohh, looks like this lotus is your replacement for good.
Ha, not quite.
I've a few tricks left up my sleeve.
Ohh, ohh, can I see? If I join you, will you help me rescue my master? I can not! I'm being paid to kidnap splinter.
After all, I'm a professional.
And I can't be a traitor to a friend.
Ahh, then be destroyed with him! Ooh! I'm sorry, Leonardo.
It would never work out between us.
You do not respect my career.
Where am I? Right where I want you, you mutant maggot.
My job is done, krang.
Now, pay me! Not so fast, you traitor! Who dares call me traitor? We didn't say nothing.
He said it.
Shredder, you has-been.
What are you doing here? Saving you from your own folly, krang.
She led the turtles here on purpose.
Liar! You betrayed krang because of your feelings for this turtle.
For this treachery I paid you I never betrayed you.
My feeling have nothing to do with our bargain.
Deals off.
Lose the gold.
So be it! Hyah! Hey, the rat was playing possum! Stop him! Dig it, dudes.
Here's a few weapons we forgot to lay down.
You forgot to search them.
How amateurish.
Amateurish, am I? Hyah! Hyah! This is April O'Neill, in her ongoing search for love and romance.
[CRASH.]
Aah! Mama! Hello, bern, get ready for that report on roses you wanted.
Ow! I don't believe it.
For once April is actually going to follow orders.
So how long have you been selling roses at this stand? No, no roses, I tell you.
Only lotuses.
[RING.]
Channel 6.
How can I help you? Mr.
Thompson, the viewers are going wild! I know.
They hate monster movies.
No, they absolutely love all the craziness.
They want to see more.
That's it! Our new on-location series.
Oh, this week, April O'Neill reports on full moon madness! It'll be a smash! Hey guys, where you going? Uh-oh.
Whoa! Shredder, fancy seeing you here.
Surely you're not leaving without me? Don't worry, I'll write you a nice poison-pen letter.
Please, I'll do anything.
Just take me with you.
Do you promise never to insult me again? Oh, I promise.
Now get me out of here, you tin-faced moron.
Hey, boss, wait for us! No, you cretins, wait till I get down first.
Lotus, with your great ninja skills, you'd be a powerful force for good.
Yes, why don't you stay and work with us? Sorry, turtles.
But there's not much gold in goodness.
Till we meet again Sayonara! Like, lighten up, dude.
You'll see her again.
Ahh, no, I don't think I will, Michelangelo.
Hey, who sent us a pizza? I don't know, but we should tip the kid.
Hmm, most strange.
Way weird.
What kind of bogus topping is this? You need "flower" to make a pizza, but this is ridiculous.
Maybe someday, Leonardo, you and I will be on the same side.
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