Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987) s04e02 Episode Script

9060-067 - Turtles of the Jungle

[THEME SONG.]
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Heroes in a half shell Turtle power They're the world's Most fearsome fighting team We're really hip.
They're heroes in the half shell And they're green Hey, get a grip.
When the evil Shredder attacks These turtle boys don't cut him no slack Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Splinter taught them to be ninja teens He's a radical rat.
Leonardo leads Donatello does machines And that's a fact, Jack.
Raphael is cool, but rude Gimme a break.
Michelangelo is a party dude Party! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Heroes in a half shell Turtle power [DONATELLO.]
A final adjustment.
There; it's ready.
Righteous, dude.
But the question is, what is it? Well, you've heard of the jet age, the electronic age and the computer age.
Da da di da da da da And now-- Make way for the "Garb-age.
" Ho, ho.
Very funny, Raphael.
Perhaps if you explain your-- [CLEARS THROAT.]
invention, Donatello.
Things fully understood are not object of ridicule.
Well, it takes a great scientific mind like professor Willard W.
Willard to fully understand the complexity of it, but, well, I'll give it a shot.
How modest can one get? You are gazing at the cutting edge state-of-the-art, brand new hot dog fixer-upper, that phenomenal kitchen helper, the sniff and squirt.
[SNIFFING.]
A trifle heavy on the mustard, wouldn't you say? [LAUGHING.]
Do not be discouraged, my student.
We must fall many times before we learn to stand.
[TURTLECOM BEEPING.]
Donatello here.
Donatello? Is that you? Yes, April, it's me.
What happened to your face? It's a long story and I don't think you'd relish hearing it.
I'm calling because your idol, Professor Willard W.
Willard will be at the International Science Conference today.
Professor Willard? Are you serious? Uh-huh.
He's unveiling his newest invention: a molecular intensifier.
Where's it taking place? At the Park Central hotel.
Can you make it? Are you kidding? I'll be there with bells on.
Also with mustard, chili and ketchup on.
[LAUGHING.]
Hang on, Krang.
Here comes some more space junk! I hate living on this floating junk pile.
We're going to get the Technodrome back to Earth if it's the last thing I do.
[GROANING.]
Or the last thing I do.
Well, let's see.
The Park Central hotel oughta be right about here.
It'll be great to be with serious scientists instead of laughing turtles.
[WILD LAUGHTER.]
You dare laugh at me? Professor Willard W.
Willard? The only true genius in this entire room? [THUD.]
And you call yourselves scientists.
Uh, guys, getting a little hostile, aren't we? [LAUGHTER CONTINUES.]
Come on, professor.
We're getting out of here.
Although Professor Willard admits his molecular intensifier isn't quite perfected, he's confident he's learned to control the growth rate of all living things.
What an incredible concept! I must have that invention.
But why, Krang? It doesn't even work.
I can make it work! I'm handy.
Wonderful.
What's in it for me? Why, with that kind of power, you can take control of the planet Earth and crush those pesky turtles.
And we can finally move off this low-rent asteroid.
Exactly! Now, into the portal, and hurry.
You're sure that professor's device will work? Of course! Trust me! And Donatello has one of the finest scientific minds I've ever seen on a turtle, Professor Willard.
And I'm your biggest fan, professor.
Well, all right.
I will allow you to assist me.
It's just a minor setback, professor.
Don't let those stuffed shirts get you down.
They will be sorry they laughed at me, Donatello.
Uh, professor? I'm over here.
Here, Jocko, have a banana.
Oh, whoa, hey! I was just peeling it for ya! And now for a private demonstration of my molecular intensifier.
Stand back, Jocko, this could be dangerous.
Now, keep your eye on that tiny plant.
[ELECTRICAL CHARGE.]
Yikes! Look out, professor! [SHOUTING, MONKEY SCREAMING.]
Ow! Phew.
Well, at least it stopped swinging around.
Oh, I only hope the molecular intensifier wasn't damaged.
[LASERS FIRING.]
Face it, the professor's a wacko.
A pistachio nut.
And I thought he was a genius.
How could I have been so wrong? Heroes fall hard, Donatello.
You know, actually, we're lucky that growth ray of his didn't work.
[CREAKING.]
Right.
No telling what kind of damage that contraption could cause! [SCREAMING.]
Hmm.
They've really let this city go to seed since I was here last.
Heh.
Well, now to find that professor and his molecular intensifier.
Gyah! What's happening? Whoooa! [APRIL.]
I've never seen anything grow like this.
What could be causing it? Whoa! Help! It's Mr.
Thompson! Let me out of here! Don't just stand there, find out what's happening with these plants.
I want Channel 6 on the air with this story first.
I'm on my way, chief! You too, Vernon.
Go, go, go! A molecular intensifier's a stupid idea, anyway.
I mean, if it was any good, I would have already invented it.
Okay, who's the joker? Whoa! We're being invaded by giant vines! Do you realize what this means? Somebody traded our cow for a handful of beans? [ALL SHOUTING.]
It's the rays from the professor's molecular intensifier! It actually works! [MONKEY SCREAMING.]
No, I don't understand it either, Jocko.
My calculations were correct.
It shoulda worked.
Now, let's see.
Jocko was struck by the growth ray.
According to my calculations, divided by 6, carry the 5, he should now be exactly about 30 feet tall.
[MONKEY LAUGHING.]
My molecular intensifier works! I'm a genius after all! [LAUGHS.]
Traffic is at a stand-still and the entire city has become an overgrown jungle.
This mutant vegetation continues to grow at an incredible rate.
Um, do you mind, sir? [FOOTSTEPS.]
Please move, we're trying to do a telecast! [GROWLS.]
Forget I said anything.
Whoa! Tubuloso mode of transportation.
Hi, fellas.
Uh Don't look now, but, uh Tell me it's a trick done with mirrors.
[GROWLS.]
I'm afraid it's no trick.
That's Jocko, the professor's pet monkey.
I sure hope he's house-trained.
[GROWLS.]
[MICHELANGELO.]
The professor's growth ray really went ape.
[LEONARDO.]
We've gotta stop him! Any suggestions? [GROWLS.]
Okay, so maybe he's bigger than us, but we've got [IN UNISON.]
Turtle Power! Watch it, guys! Size 88s headed this way.
Gitchy-gitchy goo! [LAUGHING.]
For a minute there, I thought we were goners.
Well, Shredder? Have you found the professor yet? Not exactly, Krang.
You see, I ran into this teeny problem.
[STOMPING, GROWLING.]
That asteroid we're stuck on is beginning to look better every moment.
Cry me a river.
Don't come back until you have that molecular intensifier! Get back! Stay away from me, you youbig ape! Roll the camera, Vernon.
We've gotta get this on tape! Oh, no! Help! [SCREAMS.]
[SPLASH.]
Thank you.
[GIGGLES.]
But I don't accept gifts from strangers.
Hey, looks like he's got a thing for April.
What a time to develop a crush.
[GROWLS.]
And I do mean, "crush!" We've got to stop that ape before it tears up the entire city! [RAPHAEL.]
Leonardo, why are we climbing this tower? So when that ape gets close enough, we can jump him.
[MICHELANGELO.]
Whoa! Primo notion, dude! Uhthen what? Then we'll think of something! What now, fearless leader? Whoa! Do you suppose this will count on my frequent flier mileage? This is one date I'm standing up.
I have a feeling you'll lead me straight to that professor and his invention.
[TIRES SQUEALING.]
Oh, no.
[GROWLING.]
We've got to get his attention away from April.
[TARZAN YELL.]
I've always wanted to do that.
[BRAKES SQUEAL.]
Well, don't stop now! I didn't stop! [ALL.]
Whoa! It's that overgrown ape, again! We're about to get the story of a lifetime.
Persistent little guy, isn't he? Look, buster, you put us down right now.
This is Channel 6 property! [LEONARDO.]
He's taking the news van to the East river! [MICHELANGELO.]
Hey, dudes! That banana boat gives me an awesome idea! Daylight come and you wan' go home.
Huh? Uh, no, like, ordering a banana pizza! Great! But first, let's do a little monkey business.
[MONKEY CHATTER.]
I feel so ridiculous.
Keep it up.
I think he's convinced we're monkeys.
Hey, hairy dude! Look what we've got.
Free bananas! Come and get 'em! [MONKEY CHATTER.]
Woop, time for the banana split.
[SHOUTING FROM VAN.]
I know it's a dirty job and someone has to do it, but why me? Oh The only hope for the city is to reverse the molecular intensifier's rays.
But can Professor Willard do it in time? Think, professor.
The formula for reversing the rays.
What is it? The formula, yes! Ah, let's see now.
Oh, oh, I believe it's MC squared equals the root of the hypotenuse.
I'll take that.
Shredder! I just knew old tin grin would show up sooner or later.
Oh, no you don't, Shredder.
Agh! My precious intensifier! Don't worry, professor, I've got it! This isn't over yet, Turtles.
We mustn't let him escape! [GROWLING.]
Uh-oh, it's King Klutz again.
I say we jump him.
[MARTIAL ARTS CRIES.]
Whoa! Looks like he's into spin the turtle.
[SCREAMING.]
Ha.
I guess this is our day for garbage.
I thought that was Thursday.
You naughty boy! Where were you? Uh, you're not planning on spanking him, are you? Now, listen here.
Aren't you ashamed of yourself, going around scaring people like that? Uh-uh.
Put me down, banana breath.
You've really done it this time, professor.
There's nobody big enough to stop that big gorilla.
Oh, no? Well, we'll see about that.
Nono, professor! No, wait! What-- What are you doing? [STOMPING.]
[MONKEY NOISES.]
Will you grow up? First giant plants, and now giant apes! And my star reporter, right in the thick of it.
How do I get into these messes? Professor Willard makes me 30 feet tall and now I've gotta tackle that overgrown monkey.
Look, look, look! Here comes another giant creature! Why, it's Donatello! I think.
Hold it, Jocko.
Huh? Donatello, I don't believe it.
Why, you're-- You don't have to rub it in.
I kind of like you tall.
Oh, you're just trying to be nice.
Look, if the professor can't reverse that ray, the lair could get a little cramped.
[GROWLS.]
I don't know monkey talk, but I think he's challenging me to a fight.
Okay, big guy, let's get it on.
[GROWLS.]
Whoa! Let me down from here! Whoa! [GROWLS.]
Whoa! What color do you turn if you're already green? Wow, they must have spent their entire budget on this one episode.
Surprise! Oof! Whoa! Oh, oh! When I get loose, you're gonna be in big trouble.
Ahh! Either giants apes like to hold women and climb tall buildings, or he's seen the movie.
I sure hope the guys are on their way with that intensifier.
Are those ropes too tight, I hope? How could we let that tin-can head get the jump on us? Hey, stuff happens, all right? Shredder, you might have actually pulled this one off.
Are you surprised, Krang? Not surprised.
Amazed! Now, get that molecular intensifier into the portal.
Hurry it up, dudes.
We're about to say, "adios" to the intensifier.
We're rubbing as fast as we can! Soon, all this power will be ours! That's it! Just a little more! All right! Yeah! What in blazes? Oh! Have a nice trip, dude.
The awesome foursome strikes again! Yeah minus one.
[IN UNISON.]
Donatello! Where's my air support? Right here, dude! I've got a remote molecular intensifier that the professor rigged up, and I'm ready to zap that hairy hulk.
Are you sure the intensifier's been reversed? I mean, we wouldn't want him to get any bigger.
No duh! We don't want to create a banana famine.
Okay, Michelangelo's right above us, professor.
How long before you can reverse the intensifier? Hey, don't bother me now, turtle.
Can't you see I'm busy? Okay, R to the third power divided by the square root of six cubed-- Woops.
Oh, I keep forgetting: turtles don't have prehensile toes.
Yo, fur face! You want to chill and hold still? [GROWLS.]
Whoa! Mondo close! [BRAKES SQUEALING.]
I have done it! The molecular intensifier's energy is reversed! Everything's go in the Turtle van.
Good luck, Michelangelo.
All right! A few more steps, and this is one shrunken monkey.
Uh-oh.
Wha! Oof! Thanks for the lift.
Hey, no prob, dude.
Drop in anytime.
Okay, here goes! Nothing.
The intensifier's not intensifying! Oh, I guess it needs the Donatello touch.
Hi-ya! [MONKEY CHATTERING.]
Don't be scared, little guy.
You're in good hands, now.
[APRIL.]
Thanks to four fearless heroes, the city is back to normal, and for his personal heroism, I especially want to thank-- Oh, bummer.
Donatello, can't you fix this thing? After that molecular intensifier, the TV ought to be a cinch.
Yeah, dude.
How'd you do that, anyway? Are you sure you want to know? I mean, it might be a trifle complicated for unscientific minds like yours.
Try us.
Well, first I adjusted the potentiometer and then I reset the electro-galvanic rectifier and then, when that didn't work, I did this.
Hi-ya! [LAUGHING.]
Excellent! Perfect!
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