Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987) s06e11 Episode Script

9062-9204 - Adventures in Turtle-Sitting

[theme] Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Heroes in a half shell Turtle power They're the world's Most fearsome fighting team We're really hip.
They're heroes in the half shell And they're green Hey, get a grip.
When the evil Shredder attacks These turtle boys don't cut him no slack Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Splinter taught them to be ninja teens He's a radical rat.
Leonardo leads Donatello does machines That's a fact, Jack.
Raphael is cool, but rude Gimme a break.
Michelangelo is a party dude Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Heroes in a half shell Turtle power [sizzling] Oh, man, what's taking Michelangelo so long? I'm starving.
Steady, Raphael.
Remember, a ninja is always patient.
[Michelangelo] Whoa, hang on, dudes.
Here comes the cavalry, bringing marshmallow, octopus, and chili pepper pizza.
[Raphael] All right! At last we can do some serious deep-dishing.
[Donatello] Not so fast, fellow pizza-lovers.
This is a perfect opportunity for me to demonstrate my latest invention: the automatic pizza-slicer.
Whoa, it looks more like a pizza shredder.
Face it, it just looks like Shredder, period.
It'll carve up those pizzas in the blink of an eye.
Uh, Donatello, are you sure this is such a good idea? Hey, have you ever known one of my inventions to fail? Uh, never mind, don't answer that.
[whirring] Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Turn it off! Uh, I'll-- I'll handle this.
[machine turns off] Oh, no, that was my favorite bow.
Nice going, boy genius.
You just turned our lunch into wallpaper.
I think that machine of yours is a little over-engineered, Donatello.
Uh, gee, guys, I'm really sorry.
Well, dudes, looks like we're heading up to Vinnie's.
Yeah, for some unshredded pizza.
Donatello! What happened here? Gee, sensei, another one of my inventions backfired.
It's the third time this week.
The only way one learns is by making mistakes.
Although I admit this was a particularly messy mistake.
I don't know, sensei.
I mean, I'm supposed to be the brainy one, yet all I seem to do lately is goof up.
There is no dishonor in failure, my student.
You must learn to turn your failures into victories.
I'd like to turn this thing into scrap metal.
Do not be hasty, Donatello.
Before this day is over, you may yet understand the meaning of what I have told you.
Hoo, what a job, cleaning up that mess.
I deserve to watch a little TV.
[Announcer] And now, Channel 6 brings you a live report from the city zoo.
Vernon Fenwick, ace reporter here.
I'm at the reptile house, where a new turtle habitat has just been opened to the general public.
This new sanctuary will be a boon to turtles everywhere.
All right! Score one for the good guys! [Vernon] Not only will it protect numerous endangered species of our turtle friends, but it will help educate the public about these highly intelligent creatures.
And now, back to our studios.
Ew, what a waste, spending our hard-earned tax dollars on a bunch of dirty, smelly reptiles.
Uh, Vernon, we're still on the air! [chuckling] Oops.
Dirty, smelly reptiles, huh? Why, that overblown windbag! He can't talk that way about our species! I'm going down to Channel 6 and give that Vernon a piece of my green mind! This is April O'Neil with an important news bulletin.
We have word that an unidentified flying object has just landed in the mid-town section of the city.
An alien creature has emerged, wielding a large variety of technologically advanced weapons.
Eyewitnesses describe the alien as having the appearance of a large, vicious turtle! A large, vicious turtle flying a spaceship? That almost sounds like-- like Slash, the evil turtle from Dimension X.
Nah, couldn't be.
That Slash character was as dumb as mud.
That UFO must have landed around here somewhere.
[chatter] "Police barricade-- do not pass.
" Aw, that just means humans.
Oh, no.
I don't believe it! It's the Space Scow.
That's the ship Slash made his getaway in the last time we met! He really must be back.
[crash] Uh-oh.
Trouble! All right, Slash! [rustling] [growling] Binky.
Why would a rock-stupid shellback like you be interested in complicated electronic gear like this? My dear fellow, I needed to complete my Trans-Frequency Flux Oscillator.
And you, I'm afraid, are in my way.
Whoa! Whatever happened to the old, lovable, stupid-as-a-sea-slug Slash? No use trying to hide, old chap.
Your meager wits don't stand a chance against my super-intelligence.
Well, you may now be some kind of a brainiac, but-- but are your muscles still in shape? Yaah! [growling] Argh! Whoa! Well, I guess that answers that.
I've both brains and brawn, my dear fellow.
If I've calculated the trigonometric angles correctly, you're about to be squashed.
Whoa! Now, I'm afraid, we must end this little soirée.
I have much work to do.
Well, he's still as mean as ever.
Oh, some things never change.
They sure don't build cars like they used to.
I intend to be the supreme turtle in this town.
[grunting] Whoa! plus a factor of 5 across stress plus minus 12 of gravity.
[high-pitched sound] [rumbling] Whoa! Uh-oh.
I knew I should have worn a hard hat.
Oh, wouldn't you know it, and I just had my shell waxed! One down and three to go.
Now, on to Channel 6 for the equipment I'll need to complete my Trans-Frequency Flux Oscillator.
[Leonardo] Where could Donatello have disappeared to? [sighing] I'll try and reach him on the TurtleCom.
Donatello, where are you? [Donatello] Uh, under a pile of girders, somewhere in the mid-town area.
[Leonardo] Do you need help? Does Michelangelo like pizza? Now to make certain no one gets out or in.
Whom do you wish to see, sir? Your broadcasting antenna on the roof.
I'm sorry, but that's impossible.
[chuckling] Nothing is impossible to someone with an anti-gravitational beam.
Aah! Hey, buster, you can't come up here without a pass.
[Slash] I don't need no stinking pass.
My own invention, an immobilizer ray.
Hey, you're not allowed back here! As they express it so crudely on your primitive planet, chill out.
Aah! Aah! Are you in there, Donatello? [Donatello] What's left of me.
Whoa, dude.
Looks like somebody got the drop on you big time! Yeah.
Hard to believe it was Slash! Slash? You're dissin' us, right dude? You were beaten by the dumbest turtle this side of Moe's Pet Shop? Somehow he's turned into a super-genius.
All right.
Yeah, sure, right.
Hey, he said he was going to Channel 6.
You can see for yourselves.
[beeping] [Chief] Up and at 'em, Vernon.
The story of the century is right under our noses.
Uh, what story is that, Chief? Some kind of alien turtle is on the loose! [scoffs] Not another turtle! I've done enough turtle stories for one day.
From the looks of it, he's out to conquer the world, starting with Channel 6! What? He's here? In the building? Yes, and we're going to get the exclusive story.
There it is! [Michelangelo] Whoa, why is the Channel 6 building glowing like that? [Donatello] You'll see.
[zapping] [all] Oh, ouch! What was that? Our dumb as a brick friend has used his super-intelligence to create an impenetrable force field! It only goes halfway up the building.
Maybe we could climb over it.
Yeah, it's worth a try.
Bingo! We next add 1 pound sugar, a shake of nutmeg, and a quart of chicken fat, and bring it all to a boil.
Then we-- Eeh! Run for your lives! Ha ha ha ha! These ridiculous earthlings.
It takes so little to send them into a panic.
Soon, thanks to my intellectual genius, this entire city will be turtlized! [Slash] There will be turtle cooking shows And next, you add then 5 cups of turtle food, then a dozen more cups of turtle food.
[Slash] Turtle news shows Disaster was averted today when the turtle police rescued three citizens who had accidentally rolled over onto their backs.
[Slash] Turtle home shopping channels.
Folks, I got to tell you, these plastic palm trees are going like hotcakes-- ouch! So call in now.
[Slash] Even a turtle weather channel.
Weatherwise, it looks like it's gonna be an absolutely perfect day for sunning yourself out on a rock.
And I shall be the turtle supreme! From here, you look more like a turkey supreme! Okay, Slash, your time is up.
Ah, my earthling enemies.
You've arrived precisely on schedule.
I calculated it to the nanosecond.
[all] Huh? Guys, I told you.
He's changed.
Okay, so he sounds smart.
But is he really smart? Smart enough to have invented this little gadget.
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Look out! I'm beginning to see the light.
And now I shall destroy you utterly.
Whoa, now, whoa, whoa time out.
Easy, easy.
Let's, uh, let's discuss this.
Well, now that I have such an incredible vocabulary, discussing things is my strong point.
Then answer us this.
How did you get so smart all of a sudden? I was wondering when someone would ask me that.
It happened while I was drifting through space which was entirely your doing, I might add.
[Michelangelo] Yeah, I remember, episode 74.
[Slash] At any rate, I happened to crash land on this alien world which turned out to be inhabited by a race of hyper-intelligent beings.
Seeing that I was something of aunderachiever-- [Raphael] Try no-brainer.
They took pity on me, and increased my intelligence beyond the wildest dreams of mere mortals, or even turtles.
From that moment on, I became a turtle with a mission to return to Earth and become the number 1 supreme turtle by turtlizing the entire planet.
And just how do you plan to do that? By using my animalizer ray to turn every single human being on Earth into a turtle.
No way, dude.
There's no such thing as an animalizer ray.
That's why I used my super-intelligence genius to invent one.
There's that creature.
Get some footage of him.
Me? [gulping] What if he attacks me? I can dream, can't I? [door thumps] Ah, two ideal subjects.
Huh? What's happening? I knew I should have called in sick today! Chief! You-- You're a turtle.
Well, have you taken a good look at yourself lately? I don't believe it.
That animalizer gadget actually works.
I've had enough of you, Slash.
You're giving a bad name to law-abiding turtles everywhere! And Slash fights with brain power.
[all] Whoa! I think I liked that guy better when he was a blithering idiot.
Now, let's examine the situation logically.
Since I can't be supreme turtle with you four around, I'll just have to put you on ice.
And the weatherman said it would be sunny and m-m-m-mild today! Oh! Sorry to give you the cold shoulder, but I've got a world to turtlize.
And I'll take my first two loyal subjects with me.
Uh, w-whatever you say, boss.
Hey, hey, hey! I'm your boss.
Maybe so, but he's bigger than you are.
Ah, the new ultra-heterodyne antenna, Just what I need to complete my Trans-Frequency Flux Oscillator, and turn everyone in the city into my turtle minions.
If I didn't know better, I'd say he's bent on world domination.
He's bent all right, especially in the area of the brain.
Reverse polarity of the flux indicators, bridges passages at the audion sequencer transmismodifier Phew, being a genius is certainly hard on my neuron endings.
Where'd everybody go? [gasping] Guys! What happened? Who did this to you? Mmm! Oh, sorry.
I didn't realize you can't talk.
I'll get you out of there somehow.
Just keep cool.
[Vernon] We've got to get out of here and warn the world.
Maybe we can tip this box over.
Good thinking.
You push, I'll supervise.
Oh, come on, Chief, give me a hand.
I-I mean, flipper.
Ooh, all right.
[both grunting] We did it! Let's get to that stairway.
Hurry! Hurry? I'm a turtle, remember? Hang on, guys, I'll get you thawed out.
I have a feeling we're not going to make it.
Don't be ridiculous.
Of course we will.
You go first.
[both] Ooh, ooh, ow! Oh, Chief, I've fallen and I can't get up! All right, Vernon, don't get your shell bent out of shape.
Come on, we've got to get help.
Almost there.
Ooh, thanks, April.
You're a warm and wonderful human being.
Hey, after all those times you've rescued me, it was the least I could do.
Now we've got to find out where Slash has gone.
He's on the roof! Chief? Vernon? Is that you? Why, you're talking turtles! That turtle freak friend of yours is doing something to the station's new antenna.
You've got to stop him.
That thing cost me a fortune.
I wonder what Slash wants with a broadcasting antenna.
I've got it.
Slash can't turn everyone in the city into a turtle with that little handheld animalizer ray of his, so he's going to amplify its power with the station's antenna.
Come on, then.
We've got to stop him.
Wait! You're not going to leave us here, are you? You've got to return us to normal.
You know, Vernon, after the rotten things you said about turtles, we should just leave you that way.
Oh, oh, p-please.
I'm sorry.
I take back everything I've ever said to anyone about anything! Oh, all right.
It's finished! And so are you, Slash! Arrivederci! Bonjour! Adios! And sayonara! Man, what a show-off.
The dude makes an exit in four different languages.
Look where he's heading.
[Leonardo] The Trumpet Tower apartment building.
The tallest structure in the city.
Sure, he wants to get the maximum range out of his animalizer ray.
[Vernon] Oh, where are we going? I've got to get something from the lair.
But what about us? You've got to get us back to normal.
Keep your shell on, Vernon, I'll get you fixed up.
It's ready.
Now to turtlize this entire city.
You're the one who's gonna get turtlized, Slash! By the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
I suppose you consider that some sort of honor? [beeps] [Leonardo] All right, fellas, let's take him! Whoa, hot stuff! Whoo, cool it, already.
En garde, you hunk of junk! Touchy, touchy.
Farewell, you ignoramuses-- or to be more grammatically correct, ignoramusi.
[door opening] Farewell, yourself! Donatello! All right, you've come to rescue us! I brought this to dismantle the antenna, but I've got a better use for it.
We're about to go bungee jumping without a rope, and you bring your dumbest invention of all time? [Donatello] Hey, I'm just following Master Splinter's advice and turning a failure into a victory.
[beeping] [Raphael] Well, what do you know.
That pizza-slicer was good for something after all.
You might have saved your shells for the moment, but you can't stop me from turtlizing this city.
You know, Slash, you think you're so smart, but you're actually pretty stupid.
Exactly what did you mean by that disparaging remark? You never thought of using your animalizer ray on us.
You could set that thing to change us into humans, and then you'd be the only mutant turtle in town.
Hm, a most intelligent plan.
I'm surprised I didn't think of it myself.
[Donatello] It's just what I was hoping.
Oh, I'm human again! I'm normal.
Human, yes.
Normal? No, no, no, no, no.
You tricked me! And here comes the treat! [grunting] You've destroyed my animalizer.
And now, I'll destroy you! Annihilate, decimate, demolish, pulverize! [Raphael] I think we get the idea.
Aah! Aah! Aah! Hang on, compadres! Cowabunga! Phew, everybody okay? We're all fine, but what about Slash? [rumbling] Come on, dude, upsy-daisy.
[chuckling] Duh, hey.
Tell me again about the turtles, George.
I think that crash landing made him his old stupid self again.
Come on, Slash.
We're gonna take you back to your spaceship.
Oh, goodie.
I like riding in spaceships.
[Leonardo] I've got to hand it to Donatello.
He outsmarted Slash and his alien super-intelligence.
Yeah, but there's just one thing that's bugging me.
Nothing blew up.
And this bugs you? Well, you know how when we defeat the bad guys, there's always, like, this big, humongous explosion? Yeah? So? Well, so we defeated Slash, but nothing blew up.
Since I am once again the inventive genius of this group, Here's my latest creation: the automatic cheese grater! [groaning] See, you put the parmesan here, and presto! [explosion] You happy now? When am I gonna learn to keep my big beak shut?