Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012) s01e08 Episode Script

Never Say Xever

1x08 - Never Say Xever Hamato Yoshi's disciples are turtles? And yet they managed to defeat you? Not just turtles.
Man-sized turtles.
Trained in ninjutsu.
And I almost had them.
Till you lead us into their trap.
If you'd let me take them down when I wanted - Then we'd never find Hamato.
- Silence.
You were such a promising student.
I expected much more from you.
Sensei, give me another chance.
I will not fail you again.
No, you won't.
Xever, you are in charge.
I won't take orders from this gutter trash.
Is that so? Unless you want me to, master.
I've already put the word out on the street to watch for the turtles.
And when I find them, I'll peel them out of their shells and drop them at your feet.
Teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles heroes in a half shell, turtle power! Here we go, it's the lean green ninja team on the scene, cool teens doing ninja things so extreme, out the sewer like laser beams get rocked with the shell shock pizza kings can't stop these radical dudes the secret of the ooze made the chosen few emerge from the shadows to make their move the good guys win and the bad guys lose.
Leonardo's the leader in blue does anything it takes to get his ninjas through Donatello is the fellow has a way with machines Raphael's got the most attitude on the team Michelangelo, he's one of a kind and you know just where to find him when it's party time.
Master Splinter taught them every single skill they need to be one lean mean green incredible team! Teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles heroes in a half shell, turtle power! You guys want to speed it up a little? - Are you saying turtles are slow? - That's a hurtful stereotype.
Trust us, April.
We are better off keeping a low profile.
We find people treat us better when they don't know we exist.
Sorry.
I'm just so excited to get you out of the sewer for a change.
What are you talking about? We go out all the time.
Yeah but tonight you're going to do something besides hitting people.
- Aww.
- Don't worry.
You're going to love this noodle place I found.
And you're sure we'll be welcome? Oh, yeah.
Mr.
Murakami doesn't care what you look like.
In fact, he won't even know what you look like.
- He's blind.
- Awesome.
[grunts.]
I mean, for us obviously.
[grunting, glass shatters.]
Oh, no.
- Who are those creeps? - The Purple Dragons.
They think they own the streets around here.
[grunts, gasps.]
[laughter.]
Ah! Ugh! [grunts.]
So much for not hitting people tonight.
Oh, well.
Booyakasha! Huh? All right, let him go.
You don't want any trouble.
We, on the other hand, do.
Whoa, those guys were serious.
There really are giant turtles.
You've heard of us? Dudes, we're famous.
- That's bad.
- Oh.
Right.
Whatever you are, this neighborhood is ours.
So why don't you slither back to the ocean you came from? Actually, we're freshwater turtles.
I suspect that we're derived from the diamondback terrapin - but it's possible we're a common box - Get 'em! [growling.]
Aah! [grunting.]
Hmm.
Hmm.
[glass shatters.]
[gasps.]
Huh? - Thanks, April.
- You're welcome.
Duck! Huh? Huh? Get out of here.
Come on.
Let's go.
This ain't over, greeny.
"Greeny"? Really? I wonder how many brain cells he put to work on that.
You just let him go? What the heck was that? They weren't exactly a threat.
They'd had enough.
Dude! They were beating up a blind guy.
There's no "enough".
Now they'll think we're wimps and we don't have the guts to finish the job.
Wow.
That was great, you guys.
Thanks, April.
Did you see when I caught the one guy and flipped him onto the counter? Did it look cool? - I bet it looked cool.
- The coolest.
- You didn't see it, did you? - No, I did not.
My friends, I'm indebted to you.
Please, allow me to make you a meal.
Free of charge.
- I think we can allow that.
- What is your favorite dish? All: Pizza! Murakami-san, that was awesome! You're like a ninja but for food.
Pizza gyoza.
Pizza gyoza? - Mmm.
- Wow.
Delish! It's like I got a one-way ticket to Flavorville.
This is really good too, you know.
Uh, Murakami-san, do the Purple Dragons come around a lot? [sighs.]
Yes.
They demand protection money but I refuse to pay.
They will surely return.
Well, they wouldn't if somebody hadn't wimped out.
Huh? Mmm! [grunting.]
Whoa, whoa, Leo.
I think he's had enough.
You better let him go.
I get it.
You're making fun of me for not mercilessly pummeling a helpless man.
Yes, I am.
You showed weakness.
Those guys only understand one language.
Chinese? - No.
Fists.
- What about feet? [sighs.]
They understand feet.
That would make them bilingual.
Argh! The point is we can't go soft on them! To show mercy is not soft.
It is a sign of true strength.
But, sensei, they're criminals.
This is war.
A Daimyo of the "in times of peace, never forget the possibility of war.
In times of war, never forget compassion.
" I'm guessing that guy lost a lot of wars.
[gasps.]
You see? Mercy.
Ow! Okay, look.
Compassion is great.
But the Purple Dragons are not going to leave Murakami alone.
So we'll track down the Dragons and make sure they got the message.
And if they didn't, we'll send them one.
Special delivery.
Was that meant to sound tough or stupid? How are we gonna track someone down when we can't talk to anybody? I'm looking for the Purple Dragons.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Don't worry, I can protect you.
I'm an undercover cop.
You look like you're 16.
I know.
I'm really good at this.
Whoa.
[chuckles.]
Let me see a badge.
Are you crazy? I can't carry a badge.
That would blow my cover.
I suppose that makes sense.
April said this was the place.
Cool.
Can we get tattoos? I want to get one of my face on my face.
It'll be like I'm wearing a mask and the mask is me.
- I just blew your minds, right? - You know they use needles for that.
Can it, dorks.
There he is.
We saw that gang of turtles you were looking for.
And we'll tell you where, for a price.
Freeze, dirt bags.
Uh-oh.
I think we can find them ourselves.
Oh, man.
This is awkward.
It's Chris Bradford, my ex-friend.
- And that other guy.
- The name is Xever.
So you don't forget, I'll write it on your shells with these.
[blows landing.]
[grunting.]
Ugh! You're making me sorry I let you go.
Ah! [grunts.]
- Turtles, fall back! - We're giving up? Again? You kidding me? Yes, it's all part of my hilarious "let's all live" routine.
Hey! Stay and fight, you cold-blooded cowards! Man, could that fight have been any more embarrassing? Sure.
We could have been hit in the face with pies.
[growls.]
It's called fighting smart, Raph.
The Purple Dragons have Bradford and Xever on their side now.
Last time, we barely beat those guys.
Yeah, because they're willing to fight to the finish.
The only way to beat them is to be just as ruthless as they are.
Raphael, this Xever can cross lines that you won't.
This may make him dangerous, but it does not make him strong.
But Xever wins fights.
Isn't that what matters? And he never shows anyone mercy.
Please, please.
I helped you find the turtles, didn't I? Idiota.
You led them to our hideout.
[groans.]
So much for your street connections.
You really think these common hoodlums can tell us anything useful? They'd better.
Where'd you see those turtles? The east village.
Some old man's noodle shop.
Murakami's.
We were roughing him up and they jumped in to protect him.
Oh, did they? Big deal.
How are you going to make sure the turtles don't get away again? Easy.
I'll give them a reason to stay.
- April, what's wrong? - It's Murakami.
Someone took him and left this.
- Sweet! Free knife.
- The note, dummy.
"No more running.
If you want the old man, meet us on the roof of the fortune cookie factory.
" Well, what are we waiting for? Let's bust in there and save Murakami.
Not so fast.
Think, Raphael.
There's two words that don't usually go together.
- This is obviously a trap.
- Well, what choice do we have? Maybe we do need to think more like Xever.
- But master Splinter said - I know.
But Xever crossed the line dragging Murakami into this.
He's got to learn that we can cross the line too.
No more Mr.
Nice turtle.
Yes! I never liked Mr.
Nice turtle.
Okay, he's strong, so speed and stealth are essential.
Okay, everybody know the plan? - Mikey? - Yes.
- Are you sure? - Yes.
Tell me what it is.
Um maybe we should go over it one more time? Gentlemen, welcome to the other side of the line.
Now I'm definitely going to need a tat.
Ow! Dang, this sucker's heavy.
[grunts and groans.]
- Sorry.
- Don't apologize to him.
I mean, sorry I didn't drop you harder! There you go.
Cozy in there? [mumbles.]
Good.
Uh-oh, you guys.
Look.
Dude, Xever's a jerk.
We're here, Xever.
Now let the noodle man go.
Sorry, there's been a change of plans.
Actually, there's been another change of plans.
I love it when a change of plans comes together.
You let our friend go and we'll let your friend go.
[laughs.]
He's not my friend.
Uh, we're not kidding.
Okay, s-stop or we'll toss him.
Go ahead.
It'll save me the trouble.
[angry mumbling.]
- Uh, Raph? - Aw, crud.
That's what I thought.
Attack! [all grunting.]
[both chuckle, imitate explosion.]
Huh? [gasps.]
How could you be so sure they were bluffing? I wasn't.
Way! All right.
Let's settle the score, pond scum.
We're the ones who didn't want to throw you off the roof.
[growls.]
Raph! [grunts.]
[chuckles.]
See, Bradford? That is how you catch turtles.
And next, I'll show you how to filet them.
You'd never have caught them without me and you know it.
Oh, yes.
What would we have done without your brave leadership from inside the trash can? Now, if you'll excuse me, it's time to cut these turtles into little pieces.
I don't think so.
Aah! - I got him! - Nice save, Mikey.
Don't look down, Murakami-san.
Or, um, listen down.
Accept this token of my gratitude.
Pizza gyoza.
Awesome.
Thanks, Murakami-san.
- You're welcome, turtle-san.
- Wait, how did you I do have other senses.
Touch, smell.
You don't think we're weird and scary? You saved my life.
Who am I to complain? Just try one.
Sometimes things that don't seem like they go together actually make a great couple.
I mean, food.
[sighs.]
Fine.
Whoa.
These are amazing.
Huh? You boys showed your strength today.
Yeah, but we almost got beaten.
Your strength was mercy.
That is why the Purple Dragon helped you.
Well? Say it.
Okay, okay.
You were right.
Ahh, see? That wasn't so Your wimpiness might not be totally useless.
Oh-ho.
I'll show you who's wimpy.
No mercy.
- This is unacceptable.
- Humble apologies, master Shredder.
- I swear, next time, we will - Enough! I shall deal with Hamato Yoshi's disciples myself.

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