That's So Raven (2003) s04e11 Episode Script

Checkin' Out

Raven, terrible news.
I just lost my assistant.
Tiffany called in sick.
Tiffany? This Tiffany? Yeah, she came down with some type of horrible lip fungus.
Seriously, I mean, how can she get sick the same week I'm launching my new line of boys' clothing? Everything happens to me! So, you need someone to, step in and help you, don't you? Yes! I bet you do.
But who? I mean, I'm planning this huge photo shoot in Boston, Raven, and I need someone who's Organized.
I need someone who is tireless.
I need someone who's prepared to jump through hoops for me.
Raven! Raven! Raven! Please! Please! I'm trying to think.
Ok, well, you can pick me while you think.
You can pick me.
I'm here.
Wait a minute.
Ok.
Raven, I have a fabulous idea.
How would you like to be my assistant for the trip? My bad.
Yep, that's me.
So, I need you to set up the photo shoot at the Tipton hotel.
Tipton.
Right.
And this is the most important thing.
Ok.
I got Pistache to agree to do the shoot.
Pistache? You mean the world-famous fashion photographer? Shut up! She hasn't been seen in years.
Yeah, well, I had to beg her to come out of seclusion.
I need the best in the world for this campaign to be a success.
Yes, you do, miss Donna, and I am right by your side.
Mama, I got you.
Good.
Now I need you to put all the details into this Secretech.
Turkey neck? What did you say? Raven, you do know how to use a Secretech, don't you? Yes, I do.
Good.
Because, you see, this little device, is going to be the nerve center for our entire trip.
Now get started.
Thank you, miss Donna, yes.
And I am all over it.
Thank you for the opportunity.
This is great.
This is great.
How do you Turn this thing on? Hey, guys, thanks a lot for helping me clean out the attic.
This looks like fun.
How does it work? Chelsea? Let me show you.
I'm a pro.
Let me try! Let me try! Let me try! This is so frustrating! I'm trying to do it like Mr.
B, but the ball keeps getting in the way.
Hey, Chels.
Look at you go! Yeah, she's a natural.
You guys! Stop teasing me! It's not as easy as it looks.
No, you're doing it right, Chels.
You're supposed to hit the ball.
Well, in that case, Mr.
B.
, you stink.
That's 'cause I broke it in for you.
Show off.
Hey, yo, Corey, I wonder what the world record is for this.
Who cares? Well, sometimes they give out prize money.
Money? Money.
Move, man! This just got serious! Hey, you guys, how do I stop this thing? Actually, Chelsea, you won't be stopping for another 17 hours and 22 minutes.
Ok.
Raven, I'm still waiting for my Secretech teleconference with Pistache.
Don't worry about it, miss Donna.
I'm all over it.
I got it.
I'm handling it.
Hello? Bonjour.
Holy moley, I got her.
Is anybody there? Actually, Pistache, Donna Cabonna's coming in a second Hi! Pistache! It's such an honor.
Thank you so much for agreeing to do the photo shoot for my new line of boys' clothing.
I will shoot these clothes and make them tres beautiful on one condition.
Yes, of course.
Anything.
I will require you to fly in my models, these 2 amazing-looking boys I discovered in a small mountain village.
Perfect.
Raven will handle all the arrangements.
Now, what are their names? Jan and Kvelte, last name Unpronounceable.
Jose and Gefilte Fish.
So how do I get in touch with them? Do they have a phone number? They live in a small village of Buddhaprogoslovakia.
Booga-hooga what? Don't worry, I will send you all the information to your Secretech.
You make the arrangements.
I will see you in Boston.
Au revoir.
Au revoir! Au revoir! Au revoir! Au revoir! Au revoir! Au revoir! I'll holla.
She's gone.
Raven, that was perfect.
You are the master of the Secretech.
Now, come on.
Come help me pack.
Ok.
Ok.
Let me just save my work, 'cause I am the master of the Secretech.
File error.
Did y'all say something? Ok.
All right, thank you.
Thank you.
You guys, I just got off the phone with the world record officials.
They're on their way over right now.
Man, Chels, this is gonna be so big.
You think so? Absolutely.
They're even handing out a $1,000 prize.
Well, I don't care about the money, you guys.
I just always wanted to hold a world record.
Yeah, but it's not a done deal yet.
It seems there's one other person going for the same record.
Well, bring him on.
Yeah, that's the attitude.
There they are.
Gentlemen.
We're from the office of world records.
Meet your competition.
Hello, my brother.
Stanley? You're going down, big red.
Please.
It is go time.
Swanky! Ho-ho! Thank you.
We take pride in our swank.
Welcome to the Tipton.
Do you have a reservation? Actually, yes, I do.
I Secreteched it in.
The guest is Raven Baxter.
That's me.
Yes.
Raven Baxter.
I have it right here.
You do? You do? It went through? Yes.
Ok, ok, ok.
Ready? Next one.
Next one.
Donna Cabonna.
That's with a "C".
A "C".
Ok.
Yes.
Right in here.
Checking in is so exciting! Ok, next one.
Pistache.
Pistache.
This is like charades.
You give me something, I go "ok.
" Check it up.
Yes, just checked in.
Room 315.
Yeah! Excelente! In our Milan hotel.
Milan? Well, that's the next door one, right? Italy.
No, no, no, no! Ok, ok.
Wait, wait, wait.
Ready? Try try Juan and Kvelte-fish.
That's Ok.
The last name on that? I it's unpronounceable.
Ok.
Yes.
They sent a fax.
Yeah.
Yep, urgent.
Says they have not received their tickets and they are stuck in Buddhaprogoslovakia.
Will there be anything else? Yes.
I need a bellhop.
Sure.
Wade! Front! I ruined everything.
Everything! Yeah, listen here, Secretech support, I told my boss I knew how to use your stupid machine, and now her photographer and models are stuck halfway around the world.
No, I don't have a question.
I just I just i just need someone to cry to.
I can't believe our favorite actress is checking out today, and Moseby won't even let us near her.
Tyler Sparks.
All I wanted was one autograph.
I just wanted to smell her.
This is Tyler.
Yes, I read it.
It's garbage.
Of course I'll do it.
This is Tyler.
Yes, I read it.
It's garbage.
You guys put your arms out! Why? Just do it.
Of course I'll do it.
You saved me.
Thank you.
No, thank you.
Hey, how'd you know she was gonna trip? Don't y'all watch the news? There's been, like, a rash of falling stars this week.
It's scary.
Good to know.
I'm Cody, and this is Zack.
I'm Raven.
If there's anything we can do for you, we got your back.
Really? You do? Hey, do you know how to work a Secretech? Nobody does.
The Tipton.
My favorite hotel.
Time to face the music.
Miss Donna Raven! So here's the deal.
I need to talk to you.
Not now.
We're on camera.
This is Kendra Blair with the trendy channel.
We're here at the Tipton hotel covering the return of the great fashion photographer Pistache.
Thanks to me.
Raven, have our incredible models arrived from Buddhaprogoslovakia? Right, about them pradaflagin boys Miss Donna, have you ever seen them? Of course not.
Then they're here.
And has Pistache arrived? I can't wait to meet her.
Yes, me, too.
No, see, Pistache, she's here upstairs, and she said she's just getting herself together, picking out her clothes.
I'm gonna go.
Isn't she incredible? Thank you.
It's from Pis Milan! I mean, Milan is so lovely this time of year.
I gotta hand it to you, red.
You know how to work that paddle.
Hey, you're not so bad yourself, Stanley.
I guess we're both champions.
You know what? Now that I think about it, maybe we should share the record.
Yeah, I guess we both earned it.
Corey! They're talking about sharing the money.
Not in my house.
Tell you what, when I count to 3, we'll stop.
That sounds fair.
No! Chels, do not listen to him! When you stop, he's gonna keep going! I resent that, my brother.
I give you my word.
Stanley, come on, man.
You've been scamming me since the day I met you.
Corey, listen! I believe that people are basically good.
Now, Stanley gave me his word, and I'm gonna believe him.
I appreciate that.
So we stop on 3? On 3.
1, 2, 3.
Got ya, sucker! Chelsea, that was so beautiful! The player got played! Yeah, I did.
I trusted you, red.
I guess the world is just a cold, cruel place.
Enjoy the money.
Man, we will.
What have I done? You just set the record.
But at what price? 1,000 smackers! Congratulations.
I just destroyed a young man's faith in humanity.
And restored it in 2 others.
No.
Guys, I can't do this.
Look, there's only one way to wipe my conscience clean.
Stanley, I want you to have all the money.
No! Yes.
Now, listen.
Stanley was the only one who was honest.
I mean, he should be rewarded for that.
Thank you, red.
I guess there is good left in the world.
Gentlemen.
It's been real.
Man! Do you see what he just did? He just scammed you.
I don't feel scammed.
I feel good.
I mean, I got the title, Stanley got the money, and we all got what we wanted.
We didn't get what we wanted! No, but you got what you deserved.
Nothing? Exactly.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to set the record behind my back.
Kendra Blair here, awaiting the return of the great fashion photographer Pistache.
Here she comes now.
Bonjour! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Frere Jacques.
All right! Where does Pistache do the big show? Shouldn't we wait for Donna? No, we do not wait for Donna.
Pistache works very quickly.
I have to go back into seclusion.
You know what that sound means.
It's ze boys! Thank you, Zack and Cody.
Actually, I'm Zack and he's Cody.
Whatever.
Listen.
You Juan and you Kvelte.
Actually, he's Juan, and I'm Kvelte.
Ok, listen, I don't want you to speak English.
Do not speak to this woman.
I better not hear no peep out of you! Ze boys! Ze boys! Ze boys! How does it feel to be in America? No! You may not speak to the ze boys! They do not speak the same English as you.
The speak another form of language you do not know.
Boys, sabate woodata zuzu.
Wicki-wa wicki-ficki-ficki-wa chicka-chicka Tiki-tiki wa.
Tiki-tiki wa-wa.
Ok, you guys.
Time for the big shoot! Ok, now, we work.
We work.
You pose, we work.
I dance, you pose, we work.
We do it, we drop to the floor, do the funk Shouldn't you be using a camera? Let me tell you how Pistache does the genius with them.
You take all ze pictures with your mind, and then, and only then, do you take out the camera.
Where is ze camera? Pistache sees a camera.
Be back in moment.
Bye-bye.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Can I get a camera? Bonjour! Hello! It is Pistache.
So, you're Pistache? But of course.
Who else would I be? Donna Cabonna? I make myself laugh, you see? Where is Donna? Who is Donna Sacre bleu.
Well, hello! Jan and Kvelte.
Kvelte.
Und jan.
Pistache found ze camera! Ok, boys, smiley smile.
The pointing! The pointing is so rude! It's so rude! I love it! So nasty! Pistache, have you met Pistache? There is no other Pis Oh, snap! Ok, there is a perfect explanation Yes, there is, and it's over there.
Raven, what are you doing? I'm trying to save your butt, and then save my butt.
What are you doing? I'm trying to save my butt.
I don't care about your butt.
Why is Pistache in Milan? Right.
About that.
I couldn't work the Secretech.
What? Why didn't you tell me in the first place? 'Cause I really, really wanted you to trust me, miss Donna.
I wanted to come to Boston, I wanted to help you with the shoot.
What shoot? Where is it? Without Pistache there is no shoot.
I got a couple good pictures, actually.
What a mess.
I'm going to be totally humiliated unless we have an explanation.
Or Or Or? We run.
Watch out, Pistache! Pistache is here! And what is this? This? Are you here to mock me? We don't We don't mock.
No, no, no.
I am Donna Cabonna, and this is my assistant Raven.
Raven Baxter.
Hi.
We're just dressed like you to To Honor your great genius.
Yeah, that's what we're doing.
That's exactly what we're doing.
This, I can understand.
If I were not me, I would want to be me, too.
Touche.
Ok, here's the question.
How'd you make it so fast from Milan? I chartered an outrageously expensive private jet, and I charged it to miss Donna Cabonna.
I'm sure she would not mind.
No problem.
No problem at all.
This Is not Jan And Kvelte.
Raven, you're fired! Yeah, I kind of figured that.
They are even better.
Raven, you're rehired.
Sweet.
Strike a pose.
Ok, turn a little, please.
Here.
Turn a little more, please.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Turn a little more, please.
But you can't even see our faces.
Exactement.
That is the genius of Pistache.
My goodness.
It's amazing.
It's amazing.
It's brilliant.
I don't need to It's amazing.
Well, Raven, thanks to this ad, our new boys' line is a huge hit.
I think this is gonna work.
I know it is.
I got it.
And now We dance.
Mama say! Mama say! Mama say! Mama say! Checking out? I hope you enjoyed your stay at the Tipton hotel.
Yes, everything was great.
I just have to get back to San Francisco on my 9:00 flight, so Yes, 9:00 tonight.
No.
No, this morning.
It's 7:00, right? No, it's 10:00.
No.
Yes.
No, it's not.
No, look! Look! No, no, no! I set the alarm on my Secretech! I thought I'd finally figured it out! Well, obviously, you haven't.
Room 732.
Would you like a wake-up call for tomorrow? Yes, please!
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