The Adventures of Kid Danger (2018) s01e06 Episode Script
YooHoo Tube
1 [exciting music.]
# Oh here we go up the tubes # Fighting crime is what we do A superhero and his sidekick with a plan Who's the one behind the mask Who can move super fast? - # It's Kid Danger # - And look! It's Captain Man - # So come along # - All: # Come along # It's "The Adventures of Kid Danger" - # This is the song # - All: # This is the song # For "The Adventures of Kid Danger" - # I'm okay # - Feels good.
[dramatic music.]
Okay.
Sharp knife, check.
Stomach shovel, check.
Perfect face, check.
[chuckles.]
Later, handsome.
[dramatic music.]
Yeah, you know, I mean, I just think there should be - three E's in "cheese.
" - There are.
- Okay, you're insane.
- Ray! What are you doing to Schwoz? Surgery.
[music.]
- Whaaat? - Surgery? Why? What happened to Schwoz? Well, this might sound weird, but [yells through nose.]
Sounds weird, right? Why are you doing surgery on Schwoz? Oh, right.
See, earlier today, Schwoz was working on an experiment Experiment experiment Try it with me.
All: Experiment, experiment, experiment Experiment, experiment.
Okay, little kitten.
[meows.]
To cure your dyslexia, first I do this.
[electronic warbling.]
And this [purring.]
And finally, plutonium gas! [buzzer blares.]
[music.]
[whimpers.]
[demonic growling.]
[growling.]
Ahh! [muffled shouts.]
[meow, gulp.]
[yowling, slapping.]
[slurping.]
But why was he spanking himself? No one knows.
And were you just using Schwoz's mouth as a cup holder? Yes, I was, and I still am.
[music.]
Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait.
So right now there's a little monster inside Schwoz's stomach? Yep, and if we don't get it out soon, it's gonna eat its way out.
[screeching, growling.]
See? Look at that there.
[demonic growling.]
- Ugh.
- Aw, nasty.
Too nasty.
So time for surgery on Schwoz.
Shouldn't we take him to a hospital? No way! Hospitals don't have the special surgery tools that you need to remove micro-creatures from stomachs.
Special tools? This is a cheese knife, this is an ice cream scoop, and this is a melon baller.
None of which are found in most hospitals.
I don't think you know a dang thing about using tools.
Oh, yeah? Well, who do you think mounted that multi-inch TV on the wall over there? [crack, shatter.]
[gasps.]
Um, not me.
J Jasper? Oh, hey, Henry.
[laughs.]
I talked! Now you gotta pay me for the whole episode.
[chuckles.]
- We're not paying him.
- Okay.
How are you gonna do surgery on Schwoz? Yeah, you don't know anything.
Uh, I don't need to know, because years ago, Schwoz uploaded a video to YooHoo Tube, and that video will show us exactly how to safely cut open his stomach and remove whatever's inside it.
And once again, I'm gonna suggest we take Schwoz to a hospital.
You know, every year, more people die in hospitals than die in libraries.
So? Exactly.
And now let's watch and listen to Schwoz's medical instructions.
[lively music.]
Hello, everyone! Uh, if you're watching this video, I assume that I have, once again, swallowed something that's alive and might eat me from the inside.
[laughs.]
Oh, gosh.
Am I a character or what? - Yeah, yeah.
- Come on, Schwoz.
How do we cut open your gut? To remove something from my tummy, first you must must must get get [all groan.]
- Oh, come on.
- Ah, geez.
Okay, what's wrong with our Wi-Fi? Yeah, why is it going so slow? Are you downloading anything? No, I haven't downloaded anything all day! Okay, Miss Questions? Wow! I can't believe I can download all these movies at the same time! "Mean Girls," "Beaches," "Lorenzo's Oil," "Sister Act 2," "Sister Act 3: The Sistering.
" [sighs.]
It's still loading.
Ooh! Hey-hey-hey-hey-hey! Here it comes, here it comes, here it comes! Remember to never, ever do [beep.]
Ahh! That's it.
I'm just gonna have to figure out how to do the surgery myself.
So you're gonna wing it? - Wingin' it! - Okay.
Uhh [saw whirring.]
One more time.
What do you say we take Schwoz to a hospital? No! Swellview Hospital has terrible Wi-Fi.
Yeah, dude.
It was voted worst Wi-Fi ever.
Hey, I know where we should take Schwoz.
- Where? - Downtown Brown.
- The coffee place? - Oh, yeah.
They got the best Wi-Fi ever.
See? Hey, I think that barista still works there.
Okay.
Got your matcha.
Here you go.
- Climate change is real.
- You too.
You guys, I got you some coffee.
Yeah, just a minute! Gah! [demonic growling.]
- This is a great men's room.
- Who cares? Now, come on, let's chew our gummy, then cut open Schwoz's tummy.
[both chuckle.]
- With the rhymes.
- That's good.
[upbeat music.]
[music.]
And now I'll open my door a little wider.
Dude! You just knocked Schwoz into the pee fountain.
[laughing.]
Yeah, well At least the pee fountain doesn't flush automatically.
That would be a doozy of a oh, there it goes.
[water trickling.]
Still holding coffee.
Ahh! [whistles.]
- Charlotte? - Where'd she go? I dunno.
She said she had coffee for us.
Huh.
Well, come on.
Let's go surgerize Schwoz.
[music.]
[groans.]
[indistinct chatter.]
All right.
Your attention! Your attention, please.
[chatter.]
Okay, I want everyone here to just ignore us! Just keep doin' what you're doin'.
[growling.]
Uh-oh.
- What? What's wrong? - [gasps.]
The creature's foot popped out! - [gasps.]
- Uh! There.
Now hurry up, and start the video that'll show us how to do the surgery.
I know what to do.
Hmm.
Now, where is the internet button? Oh! Give me that.
Ooh, here's the video.
Okay, watch.
Let's watch.
- [sighs.]
- Tired of living alone with a bunch of cats and no gluten? Aw, man, it's an ad.
Relax, I can skip it in nine more seconds.
Well, now you can perk up that gluten-free food with [gasps.]
Ooh.
Gluten Cream.
Okay, I can skip it now.
No, don't! I wanna see what happens.
[chewing loudly.]
[meows.]
- Ahh - [gasps.]
- Ooh, wow.
- Hey.
- Ooh.
- Yeah.
Gluten Cream: Turns your cats into men.
Thanks, Gluten Cream! - You see, that's nice.
- Yeah, good for her.
Hey, hey, hey, here comes the surgery video.
Ooh, ooh! Hello, everyone.
Uh, if you're watching this video, I assume that I have, once again, swallowed something that's alive and might eat me from the inside.
Come on, Schwoz, get to the point.
Before I get to the point, some shout-outs.
[clears throat.]
Shampoo! Unitard! Ravioli! Yeah, I don't think he understands how to do shout-outs.
Ah, just give me the thing.
What what you gonna do? I'm gonna skip ahead to where he explains how to do the surgery.
That's how you remove a creature from my tummy.
Aww, you dragged the thingy too far! I realize that.
Wait.
How do I go back? Ahh, you're so old.
Just give me it.
There.
Now let's just watch and do the surgery, okay? To begin the surgery Tired of living alone with a bunch of cats [both groaning.]
It's not fair to make us watch the same commercial again.
You can perk up that gluten-free food Yeah, yeah.
Gluten Cream.
It turns your cats into hot men.
We get it.
- Wait.
Hot? - Huh? The guy on the commercial never said the men were hot.
Just just click "Skip Ad," okay? Okay.
To begin the surgery Come on, Schwoz.
Tell us what to do.
Good, good.
Here we go.
Oh, and let's both listen with headphones so we can't hear anything else around us.
Smart.
First, you should wash your hands very [dramatic music.]
[demonic growling.]
[people screaming.]
My man bun! Ahh! My hipster identity! [growling.]
- No, no! - My goatee! - Ahh! Oh, I just got a blowout! I'm already bald! Please, no! Whoa! What is happening? Some insane little creature is eating everyone's hairs! Ah! I think it's some kind of bug! Does anyone have bug spray? No, but I have some Gluten Cream! Hey, toss me that Gluten Cream.
[music.]
- Where'd the creature go? - Towards the men's room! [music.]
[growling.]
Charlotte! Hey, you get away from my friend.
[growls, roars.]
I don't care if you growl.
Now have some Gluten Cream.
[music.]
[screeches.]
[twinkling music.]
Whoa.
It really works as advertised.
[groans.]
Whoa.
What what happened? Well, hello.
[meows.]
I mean, uh [clears throat.]
Me-ow.
Well, "meow" back at you.
Wait, Char.
Charlotte.
That guy was just he was inside Schwoz's Ah, who am I to judge weird love? [disgruntled chatter.]
[grunting.]
I still don't feel the creature.
Ooh, ooh, maybe this is A ruby slipper? Ooh, yay! You found it! [music.]
[snores.]
[giggles, snores.]
[both gasping.]
# Oh here we go up the tubes # Fighting crime is what we do A superhero and his sidekick with a plan Who's the one behind the mask Who can move super fast? - # It's Kid Danger # - And look! It's Captain Man - # So come along # - All: # Come along # It's "The Adventures of Kid Danger" - # This is the song # - All: # This is the song # For "The Adventures of Kid Danger" - # I'm okay # - Feels good.
[dramatic music.]
Okay.
Sharp knife, check.
Stomach shovel, check.
Perfect face, check.
[chuckles.]
Later, handsome.
[dramatic music.]
Yeah, you know, I mean, I just think there should be - three E's in "cheese.
" - There are.
- Okay, you're insane.
- Ray! What are you doing to Schwoz? Surgery.
[music.]
- Whaaat? - Surgery? Why? What happened to Schwoz? Well, this might sound weird, but [yells through nose.]
Sounds weird, right? Why are you doing surgery on Schwoz? Oh, right.
See, earlier today, Schwoz was working on an experiment Experiment experiment Try it with me.
All: Experiment, experiment, experiment Experiment, experiment.
Okay, little kitten.
[meows.]
To cure your dyslexia, first I do this.
[electronic warbling.]
And this [purring.]
And finally, plutonium gas! [buzzer blares.]
[music.]
[whimpers.]
[demonic growling.]
[growling.]
Ahh! [muffled shouts.]
[meow, gulp.]
[yowling, slapping.]
[slurping.]
But why was he spanking himself? No one knows.
And were you just using Schwoz's mouth as a cup holder? Yes, I was, and I still am.
[music.]
Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait.
So right now there's a little monster inside Schwoz's stomach? Yep, and if we don't get it out soon, it's gonna eat its way out.
[screeching, growling.]
See? Look at that there.
[demonic growling.]
- Ugh.
- Aw, nasty.
Too nasty.
So time for surgery on Schwoz.
Shouldn't we take him to a hospital? No way! Hospitals don't have the special surgery tools that you need to remove micro-creatures from stomachs.
Special tools? This is a cheese knife, this is an ice cream scoop, and this is a melon baller.
None of which are found in most hospitals.
I don't think you know a dang thing about using tools.
Oh, yeah? Well, who do you think mounted that multi-inch TV on the wall over there? [crack, shatter.]
[gasps.]
Um, not me.
J Jasper? Oh, hey, Henry.
[laughs.]
I talked! Now you gotta pay me for the whole episode.
[chuckles.]
- We're not paying him.
- Okay.
How are you gonna do surgery on Schwoz? Yeah, you don't know anything.
Uh, I don't need to know, because years ago, Schwoz uploaded a video to YooHoo Tube, and that video will show us exactly how to safely cut open his stomach and remove whatever's inside it.
And once again, I'm gonna suggest we take Schwoz to a hospital.
You know, every year, more people die in hospitals than die in libraries.
So? Exactly.
And now let's watch and listen to Schwoz's medical instructions.
[lively music.]
Hello, everyone! Uh, if you're watching this video, I assume that I have, once again, swallowed something that's alive and might eat me from the inside.
[laughs.]
Oh, gosh.
Am I a character or what? - Yeah, yeah.
- Come on, Schwoz.
How do we cut open your gut? To remove something from my tummy, first you must must must get get [all groan.]
- Oh, come on.
- Ah, geez.
Okay, what's wrong with our Wi-Fi? Yeah, why is it going so slow? Are you downloading anything? No, I haven't downloaded anything all day! Okay, Miss Questions? Wow! I can't believe I can download all these movies at the same time! "Mean Girls," "Beaches," "Lorenzo's Oil," "Sister Act 2," "Sister Act 3: The Sistering.
" [sighs.]
It's still loading.
Ooh! Hey-hey-hey-hey-hey! Here it comes, here it comes, here it comes! Remember to never, ever do [beep.]
Ahh! That's it.
I'm just gonna have to figure out how to do the surgery myself.
So you're gonna wing it? - Wingin' it! - Okay.
Uhh [saw whirring.]
One more time.
What do you say we take Schwoz to a hospital? No! Swellview Hospital has terrible Wi-Fi.
Yeah, dude.
It was voted worst Wi-Fi ever.
Hey, I know where we should take Schwoz.
- Where? - Downtown Brown.
- The coffee place? - Oh, yeah.
They got the best Wi-Fi ever.
See? Hey, I think that barista still works there.
Okay.
Got your matcha.
Here you go.
- Climate change is real.
- You too.
You guys, I got you some coffee.
Yeah, just a minute! Gah! [demonic growling.]
- This is a great men's room.
- Who cares? Now, come on, let's chew our gummy, then cut open Schwoz's tummy.
[both chuckle.]
- With the rhymes.
- That's good.
[upbeat music.]
[music.]
And now I'll open my door a little wider.
Dude! You just knocked Schwoz into the pee fountain.
[laughing.]
Yeah, well At least the pee fountain doesn't flush automatically.
That would be a doozy of a oh, there it goes.
[water trickling.]
Still holding coffee.
Ahh! [whistles.]
- Charlotte? - Where'd she go? I dunno.
She said she had coffee for us.
Huh.
Well, come on.
Let's go surgerize Schwoz.
[music.]
[groans.]
[indistinct chatter.]
All right.
Your attention! Your attention, please.
[chatter.]
Okay, I want everyone here to just ignore us! Just keep doin' what you're doin'.
[growling.]
Uh-oh.
- What? What's wrong? - [gasps.]
The creature's foot popped out! - [gasps.]
- Uh! There.
Now hurry up, and start the video that'll show us how to do the surgery.
I know what to do.
Hmm.
Now, where is the internet button? Oh! Give me that.
Ooh, here's the video.
Okay, watch.
Let's watch.
- [sighs.]
- Tired of living alone with a bunch of cats and no gluten? Aw, man, it's an ad.
Relax, I can skip it in nine more seconds.
Well, now you can perk up that gluten-free food with [gasps.]
Ooh.
Gluten Cream.
Okay, I can skip it now.
No, don't! I wanna see what happens.
[chewing loudly.]
[meows.]
- Ahh - [gasps.]
- Ooh, wow.
- Hey.
- Ooh.
- Yeah.
Gluten Cream: Turns your cats into men.
Thanks, Gluten Cream! - You see, that's nice.
- Yeah, good for her.
Hey, hey, hey, here comes the surgery video.
Ooh, ooh! Hello, everyone.
Uh, if you're watching this video, I assume that I have, once again, swallowed something that's alive and might eat me from the inside.
Come on, Schwoz, get to the point.
Before I get to the point, some shout-outs.
[clears throat.]
Shampoo! Unitard! Ravioli! Yeah, I don't think he understands how to do shout-outs.
Ah, just give me the thing.
What what you gonna do? I'm gonna skip ahead to where he explains how to do the surgery.
That's how you remove a creature from my tummy.
Aww, you dragged the thingy too far! I realize that.
Wait.
How do I go back? Ahh, you're so old.
Just give me it.
There.
Now let's just watch and do the surgery, okay? To begin the surgery Tired of living alone with a bunch of cats [both groaning.]
It's not fair to make us watch the same commercial again.
You can perk up that gluten-free food Yeah, yeah.
Gluten Cream.
It turns your cats into hot men.
We get it.
- Wait.
Hot? - Huh? The guy on the commercial never said the men were hot.
Just just click "Skip Ad," okay? Okay.
To begin the surgery Come on, Schwoz.
Tell us what to do.
Good, good.
Here we go.
Oh, and let's both listen with headphones so we can't hear anything else around us.
Smart.
First, you should wash your hands very [dramatic music.]
[demonic growling.]
[people screaming.]
My man bun! Ahh! My hipster identity! [growling.]
- No, no! - My goatee! - Ahh! Oh, I just got a blowout! I'm already bald! Please, no! Whoa! What is happening? Some insane little creature is eating everyone's hairs! Ah! I think it's some kind of bug! Does anyone have bug spray? No, but I have some Gluten Cream! Hey, toss me that Gluten Cream.
[music.]
- Where'd the creature go? - Towards the men's room! [music.]
[growling.]
Charlotte! Hey, you get away from my friend.
[growls, roars.]
I don't care if you growl.
Now have some Gluten Cream.
[music.]
[screeches.]
[twinkling music.]
Whoa.
It really works as advertised.
[groans.]
Whoa.
What what happened? Well, hello.
[meows.]
I mean, uh [clears throat.]
Me-ow.
Well, "meow" back at you.
Wait, Char.
Charlotte.
That guy was just he was inside Schwoz's Ah, who am I to judge weird love? [disgruntled chatter.]
[grunting.]
I still don't feel the creature.
Ooh, ooh, maybe this is A ruby slipper? Ooh, yay! You found it! [music.]
[snores.]
[giggles, snores.]
[both gasping.]