The Adventures of Superboy (1988) s03e15 Episode Script
A Day in the Double Life
[Announcer] Rocketed
from a distant planet
to a bold new
destiny on Earth.
Found by a Kansas family
and raised as Clark Kent,
he learned he possessed
the strength of steel,
the speed of light
and the desire to
He is Superboy.
[siren wailing in distance]
It's Superboy.
I've got an idea.
Come on.
[siren wailing in distance]
Say goodbye, Superboy.
[laughs] Oh!
Let's get out of here.
[siren wailing]
Looking for me?
They're all yours.
Can't thank you
enough for the
[air rushing]
Guy doesn't even wait
around for thanks.
Amazing.
Guy like that has more
important things to worry about.
[Harris] I told you last
time, it's the last time
[Keller] Why?
You don't like Chinese?
Where is Kent with
my pastrami on rye?
Stuffed pork is one of the most
wonderful meals ever invented.
I don't see those
advertisements.
You seen him?
[both] Uh-uh.
I can't believe you.
What do you want to eat?
- [Harris] I want
- What? What?
[Harris] I want
something healthy.
[indistinct arguing]
Here's your sandwich, sir.
I'm sorry for the wait.
I sent you across the
street over an hour ago.
What took so long?
[sighs] I had a
little emergency.
An emergency!
What kind of an emergency!
What are these little
emergencies that you
Family problems?
Emotional problems?
Well, no. No, sir.
You know what this is?
It's a diary.
The kind lawyers keep.
It divides the day
into 15-minute segments.
Tomorrow, I want you to write
down everything that you do,
and then at quitting time,
you turn it in to me
so that I will know
exactly what it is that
Unless of course, you're the
kind of a person who would lie.
- No, sir!
- No, I didn't think so.
Tomorrow night, I will
know everything there
[sighs]
[alarm buzzing]
[Clark] 6:45 a.m.,
woke up.
Need to replace
clock radio again.
[yawns]
7:00 a.m.,
took shower and shaved.
Got dressed
made some coffee
and read the paper.
No, no, no!
Wait, wait, wait!
7:31, missed
the 7:30 bus.
7:32, found alternate means
of transportation.
[Keller] OK, here's our
schedule for the morning.
We have an hour before
we meet with Mel and go
Wait, hold on.
Who put you in charge
of scheduling?
We're both GS7s, you know?
A rank you never would've
gotten without my help.
Help you gave me because you
wanted something back.
[kissing]
From you?
Don't kid yourself.
Good morning.
Huh, early for a change.
I didn't forget.
I'll see you at 5:00.
I heard what happened.
Tough luck.
You know, actually, I'm glad
to see a government official
who's concerned about how the
taxpayers' money is spent.
Right.
Oh, would you step over
to my desk, please?
Come on.
I got something that just
might cheer you up.
Two tickets to
tonight's benefit.
Thought maybe you'd like them.
Like them?
I love them!
Think you can find
somebody to go with you?
I hope so.
- [horns honking]
- [whistle blowing]
- Good morning, Lana.
- Hey, Clark. [chuckles]
Looks like it's going
to be a nice day, huh?
Mm-hmm.
You know that benefit
Matt was talking about?
It sounded like fun, huh?
Not too often you get
to go to something like that.
[car screeching, crashes]
I was wondering
if you were free
Somebody's gonna get killed.
- What?
- Look.
[whistle blowing]
I'm sorry,
what were you
[people chattering]
[whistle blowing]
[horn blaring]
- Are you OK?
- Couldn't be better.
You got a piece of
Foil, I know.
It helps keep the voices out.
That badge,
it isn't real, is it?
It better be.
I paid enough for it.
I think you better
come with me.
[horn blaring]
[Clark] 7:58
helped an old
woman cross the street.
How could you possibly
forget to do the reports?
Probably brain damage from
working with you for too long.
[scoffs] You want brain
damage, keep it up.
Is something wrong?
[both] You bet there is!
What's bothering
you two this time?
He was supposed
to fill out our C29
Now we can't go out
in the field.
I would've filled them out
except somebody didn't give them
- Somebody could've asked.
- And somebody could've offered!
Stop it!
- I mean, I'll do them.
- Great. [sniffs]
Thanks, Clark.
I'm glad somebody around
here is reasonable!
Where you headed?
Out near 262
on the interstate.
A pilot spotted another one of
those circles in a cornfield.
Any idea who's doing it?
Or "what's" doing it?
Nobody knows.
Be careful, OK?
I'm driving.
You drove last time.
I'm driving.
[Keller] You're driving me nuts,
is what you're doing.
[Harris] Last time you drove,
you got a ticket.
[chuckling] I'm worried.
Me, too. Anything could be
out in those cornfields.
I'm worried about the
two of them driving in
- Oh, the answer's yes.
- Yes?
Um, the benefit tonight?
I heard you before, but I
didn't get a chance to answer.
You didn't ask
anyone else, did you?
Good, I'll be
looking forward to it.
Me, too.
Did you see what
Superboy did out there?
No, I missed it.
Oh, it was incredible.
[chuckles]
Wow.
I'll see you after work.
[Jackson] There you are!
I need you to watch
the front desk for a
But Harris and Keller
just gave me these.
You can do that later.
Right now
Found it in the woods.
I think it might be
some kind of spaceship.
I think there might be
little people inside.
Looks like trashcan lids.
Tricky little devils,
ain't they?
Well, thanks.
[Clark] 10:30 to 12:30,
watched the front desk.
Met a multitude of
interesting people.
I pulled it off the vine
yesterday. [chuckles]
It is the spitting image
of my late husband.
[phone rings]
Fill this out.
[Matt] Will you hold a second?
Dennis, you better take this.
It's the police.
This is he.
Yes, they left earlier this
morning, is something wrong?
Uh-huh.
Yes, thank you.
Please keep us posted.
You know, he really
did look like this.
The police found
Harris and Keller's car
Burned?
What about Harris and Keller?
They don't know.
The car was found
on a deserted highway,
near 262 and Troy,
completely burnt out.
Well, did the police
have any ideas?
- Kent!
- [snorts]
I've got something
for you to do.
We started storing things
here the year I was hired.
Some of this stuff looks
like it dates back to
Never mind.
It wasn't so long ago.
[thumping]
I need you to file these
in those cabinets.
All of these?
What's the problem?
I was thinking maybe I'd
help find Harris and Keller.
Don't worry about that.
The police are
taking care of it.
You do this.
Hi, Clark.
Jackson felt guilty so he asked
me to come in here and help.
Oh, great. We'll get
done a lot faster now.
That's what he figured.
Doug, you mind
helping me with these?
Oh.
[straining grunts]
[Clark] 1:30 p.m.,
started cataloging crates.
4:00 p.m., finished,
thanks to Doug.
- Any word on Harris and Keller?
- No.
Hank! Those index cards
you were asking for?
I'm going to go buy them now.
[Harris] How could
you even think
that you could fix the
fuel line by yourself?
[Keller] I did fix it.
It was that damn sparkplug
You never want to
take the blame, do you?
Sure I do, but I'm not
gonna be your scapegoat.
[Harris] I never asked
you to be my scapegoat.
[Keller] Well, what
do you want from me?
Why are we always fighting?
Because
I don't know.
[yelps]
Oh, my ankle!
You OK?
Yeah, I'm all right.
What do you care?
I don't.
I just didn't want to have
to carry you, that's all.
- All right.
- It's the truth.
Just help me up, will ya?
4:32 p.m., did a small
favor for some friends.
Clark?
Oh, hi, Eddie.
I can always tell it's you.
'Cause you're always
in a big hurry.
That's for sure.
Boy, you gotta slow down.
I'll work on it.
[Jackson] Where's Kent?
- Kent!
- Yes, sir.
Where have you been?
- Getting index cards.
- For 45 minutes?
I was shopping for
a discount store.
You told us to save
the government money
Yeah, yeah.
Where are those C29 forms
that Harris and Keller
Um, I'm working on them.
I need to take them
home with me tonight.
- No problem.
- Dennis, Keller's on the phone.
Frank, what happened?
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
You shouldn't have tried
to fix it by yourself.
No, no, I'm just
glad you're both OK.
Vacation time?
Sure, you got four
weeks accumulated.
Now?
Well, I suppose.
What about Harris?
How's she going to get
Oh.
She's taking her
vacation time, too?
Sure. Well, I-I'll see
you both in four weeks.
Oh, Frank.
Did you find out what
was making those circles
Uh-huh.
Well, I guess tractors
will do that if their
Oh, you gotta go?
Oh, OK, bye.
Huh.
It's time.
Clark.
Are we still on?
I'm meet you at the
club around 5:30, OK?
OK, sure, but why can't
we just go from here?
[Jackson] Kent!
That's why.
Shaved.
Made some coffee.
Missed your bus.
Helped an old lady
across the street.
[sucks teeth]
Mm-hmm.
Kent, now I know
the truth about you.
You do?
You have the world's
most boring existence.
You ever consider
getting a life?
I'm trying,
I'm really trying.
Should be a good show.
I hope you two enjoy it.
We will,
we definitely will.
Hey, everybody!
Water main just blew!
Street's going to be a river
unless somebody does something.
[panicked chattering]
[man] Can I get a refill,
please?
[women laughing]
[man] Where were you?
[woman] Thank you.
[waitress] Here you go.
Oh, you're welcome.
[Clark] 7:05, went home.
Spent the night reading.
from a distant planet
to a bold new
destiny on Earth.
Found by a Kansas family
and raised as Clark Kent,
he learned he possessed
the strength of steel,
the speed of light
and the desire to
He is Superboy.
[siren wailing in distance]
It's Superboy.
I've got an idea.
Come on.
[siren wailing in distance]
Say goodbye, Superboy.
[laughs] Oh!
Let's get out of here.
[siren wailing]
Looking for me?
They're all yours.
Can't thank you
enough for the
[air rushing]
Guy doesn't even wait
around for thanks.
Amazing.
Guy like that has more
important things to worry about.
[Harris] I told you last
time, it's the last time
[Keller] Why?
You don't like Chinese?
Where is Kent with
my pastrami on rye?
Stuffed pork is one of the most
wonderful meals ever invented.
I don't see those
advertisements.
You seen him?
[both] Uh-uh.
I can't believe you.
What do you want to eat?
- [Harris] I want
- What? What?
[Harris] I want
something healthy.
[indistinct arguing]
Here's your sandwich, sir.
I'm sorry for the wait.
I sent you across the
street over an hour ago.
What took so long?
[sighs] I had a
little emergency.
An emergency!
What kind of an emergency!
What are these little
emergencies that you
Family problems?
Emotional problems?
Well, no. No, sir.
You know what this is?
It's a diary.
The kind lawyers keep.
It divides the day
into 15-minute segments.
Tomorrow, I want you to write
down everything that you do,
and then at quitting time,
you turn it in to me
so that I will know
exactly what it is that
Unless of course, you're the
kind of a person who would lie.
- No, sir!
- No, I didn't think so.
Tomorrow night, I will
know everything there
[sighs]
[alarm buzzing]
[Clark] 6:45 a.m.,
woke up.
Need to replace
clock radio again.
[yawns]
7:00 a.m.,
took shower and shaved.
Got dressed
made some coffee
and read the paper.
No, no, no!
Wait, wait, wait!
7:31, missed
the 7:30 bus.
7:32, found alternate means
of transportation.
[Keller] OK, here's our
schedule for the morning.
We have an hour before
we meet with Mel and go
Wait, hold on.
Who put you in charge
of scheduling?
We're both GS7s, you know?
A rank you never would've
gotten without my help.
Help you gave me because you
wanted something back.
[kissing]
From you?
Don't kid yourself.
Good morning.
Huh, early for a change.
I didn't forget.
I'll see you at 5:00.
I heard what happened.
Tough luck.
You know, actually, I'm glad
to see a government official
who's concerned about how the
taxpayers' money is spent.
Right.
Oh, would you step over
to my desk, please?
Come on.
I got something that just
might cheer you up.
Two tickets to
tonight's benefit.
Thought maybe you'd like them.
Like them?
I love them!
Think you can find
somebody to go with you?
I hope so.
- [horns honking]
- [whistle blowing]
- Good morning, Lana.
- Hey, Clark. [chuckles]
Looks like it's going
to be a nice day, huh?
Mm-hmm.
You know that benefit
Matt was talking about?
It sounded like fun, huh?
Not too often you get
to go to something like that.
[car screeching, crashes]
I was wondering
if you were free
Somebody's gonna get killed.
- What?
- Look.
[whistle blowing]
I'm sorry,
what were you
[people chattering]
[whistle blowing]
[horn blaring]
- Are you OK?
- Couldn't be better.
You got a piece of
Foil, I know.
It helps keep the voices out.
That badge,
it isn't real, is it?
It better be.
I paid enough for it.
I think you better
come with me.
[horn blaring]
[Clark] 7:58
helped an old
woman cross the street.
How could you possibly
forget to do the reports?
Probably brain damage from
working with you for too long.
[scoffs] You want brain
damage, keep it up.
Is something wrong?
[both] You bet there is!
What's bothering
you two this time?
He was supposed
to fill out our C29
Now we can't go out
in the field.
I would've filled them out
except somebody didn't give them
- Somebody could've asked.
- And somebody could've offered!
Stop it!
- I mean, I'll do them.
- Great. [sniffs]
Thanks, Clark.
I'm glad somebody around
here is reasonable!
Where you headed?
Out near 262
on the interstate.
A pilot spotted another one of
those circles in a cornfield.
Any idea who's doing it?
Or "what's" doing it?
Nobody knows.
Be careful, OK?
I'm driving.
You drove last time.
I'm driving.
[Keller] You're driving me nuts,
is what you're doing.
[Harris] Last time you drove,
you got a ticket.
[chuckling] I'm worried.
Me, too. Anything could be
out in those cornfields.
I'm worried about the
two of them driving in
- Oh, the answer's yes.
- Yes?
Um, the benefit tonight?
I heard you before, but I
didn't get a chance to answer.
You didn't ask
anyone else, did you?
Good, I'll be
looking forward to it.
Me, too.
Did you see what
Superboy did out there?
No, I missed it.
Oh, it was incredible.
[chuckles]
Wow.
I'll see you after work.
[Jackson] There you are!
I need you to watch
the front desk for a
But Harris and Keller
just gave me these.
You can do that later.
Right now
Found it in the woods.
I think it might be
some kind of spaceship.
I think there might be
little people inside.
Looks like trashcan lids.
Tricky little devils,
ain't they?
Well, thanks.
[Clark] 10:30 to 12:30,
watched the front desk.
Met a multitude of
interesting people.
I pulled it off the vine
yesterday. [chuckles]
It is the spitting image
of my late husband.
[phone rings]
Fill this out.
[Matt] Will you hold a second?
Dennis, you better take this.
It's the police.
This is he.
Yes, they left earlier this
morning, is something wrong?
Uh-huh.
Yes, thank you.
Please keep us posted.
You know, he really
did look like this.
The police found
Harris and Keller's car
Burned?
What about Harris and Keller?
They don't know.
The car was found
on a deserted highway,
near 262 and Troy,
completely burnt out.
Well, did the police
have any ideas?
- Kent!
- [snorts]
I've got something
for you to do.
We started storing things
here the year I was hired.
Some of this stuff looks
like it dates back to
Never mind.
It wasn't so long ago.
[thumping]
I need you to file these
in those cabinets.
All of these?
What's the problem?
I was thinking maybe I'd
help find Harris and Keller.
Don't worry about that.
The police are
taking care of it.
You do this.
Hi, Clark.
Jackson felt guilty so he asked
me to come in here and help.
Oh, great. We'll get
done a lot faster now.
That's what he figured.
Doug, you mind
helping me with these?
Oh.
[straining grunts]
[Clark] 1:30 p.m.,
started cataloging crates.
4:00 p.m., finished,
thanks to Doug.
- Any word on Harris and Keller?
- No.
Hank! Those index cards
you were asking for?
I'm going to go buy them now.
[Harris] How could
you even think
that you could fix the
fuel line by yourself?
[Keller] I did fix it.
It was that damn sparkplug
You never want to
take the blame, do you?
Sure I do, but I'm not
gonna be your scapegoat.
[Harris] I never asked
you to be my scapegoat.
[Keller] Well, what
do you want from me?
Why are we always fighting?
Because
I don't know.
[yelps]
Oh, my ankle!
You OK?
Yeah, I'm all right.
What do you care?
I don't.
I just didn't want to have
to carry you, that's all.
- All right.
- It's the truth.
Just help me up, will ya?
4:32 p.m., did a small
favor for some friends.
Clark?
Oh, hi, Eddie.
I can always tell it's you.
'Cause you're always
in a big hurry.
That's for sure.
Boy, you gotta slow down.
I'll work on it.
[Jackson] Where's Kent?
- Kent!
- Yes, sir.
Where have you been?
- Getting index cards.
- For 45 minutes?
I was shopping for
a discount store.
You told us to save
the government money
Yeah, yeah.
Where are those C29 forms
that Harris and Keller
Um, I'm working on them.
I need to take them
home with me tonight.
- No problem.
- Dennis, Keller's on the phone.
Frank, what happened?
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
You shouldn't have tried
to fix it by yourself.
No, no, I'm just
glad you're both OK.
Vacation time?
Sure, you got four
weeks accumulated.
Now?
Well, I suppose.
What about Harris?
How's she going to get
Oh.
She's taking her
vacation time, too?
Sure. Well, I-I'll see
you both in four weeks.
Oh, Frank.
Did you find out what
was making those circles
Uh-huh.
Well, I guess tractors
will do that if their
Oh, you gotta go?
Oh, OK, bye.
Huh.
It's time.
Clark.
Are we still on?
I'm meet you at the
club around 5:30, OK?
OK, sure, but why can't
we just go from here?
[Jackson] Kent!
That's why.
Shaved.
Made some coffee.
Missed your bus.
Helped an old lady
across the street.
[sucks teeth]
Mm-hmm.
Kent, now I know
the truth about you.
You do?
You have the world's
most boring existence.
You ever consider
getting a life?
I'm trying,
I'm really trying.
Should be a good show.
I hope you two enjoy it.
We will,
we definitely will.
Hey, everybody!
Water main just blew!
Street's going to be a river
unless somebody does something.
[panicked chattering]
[man] Can I get a refill,
please?
[women laughing]
[man] Where were you?
[woman] Thank you.
[waitress] Here you go.
Oh, you're welcome.
[Clark] 7:05, went home.
Spent the night reading.