The Adventures of Superboy (1988) s03e22 Episode Script
Mine Games
Rocketed
from a distant planet,
to a bold new destiny
on Earth,
found by a Kansas family
and raised as Clark Kent,
he learned he possessed
the strength of steel,
the speed of light
and the desire
to help all mankind.
He is Superboy!
[music playing]
[Lana grunts]
Luthor, let her go!
I'm the one you want.
The game's over, Luthor.
The games have just begun.
It's a trap!
What else is new?
Gotcha, sucker.
No!
Lana, run!
Out of my way.
Luthor! Luthor.
Lana. Lana.
Wake up!
Luthor, snap out of it.
Get the Kryptonite
away from me.
Throw it so I can
move this thing.
Go. Luthor, crawl out.
Help me.
Bombs away.
[laughing]
You're dead meat, Superboy.
A dead duck.
Dead as a dodo.
Look around, Luthor.
If I'm dead,
you're dead, too.
- Shut up.
- We're trapped.
I said shut up.
[gasping]
Move it or I'll die.
Well, that's the idea.
You need my help.
Of course, you're right.
How silly of me.
What can I do for you, boss?
Get the Kryptonite
as far away from me
as you can.
Right.
The best I can do.
The place is kind of tiny.
And now, your highness.
[panting]
Let's just hope
Lana made it out.
Because she'll bring help.
Oh, goody.
I've got a plan.
Do you now?
Me too.
I plan to have some fun.
For God's sake, Luthor.
[laughs]
You're out of your
mind, Luthor.
Perhaps we'll play some
Kryptonite dodgeball.
You think this is all a game?
You can die in here, too.
Do you have me enough to die?
Let me see.
How do I hate thee?
Let me count the ways.
I hate that dull look
of integrity in your eyes.
I hate your moronic
pretty boy charm.
I hate
I hate that damn curl
in the middle of your
forehead.
I hate your
feebleminded glaze
of honesty, goodwill.
Bottom line, I hate you
'cause you're hate me.
You're scum, Luthor.
But I don't hate you
or anybody else.
You hate me when I do this.
Oh!
Now do you hate me, huh?
[blows raspberries]
How about if I do this?
This is the way
it's supposed to be.
Man to man.
Fight to the death.
You know, I've waited
my whole life for this.
Go on. Kill me.
Kill me! If you don't
kill me, I'll kill you,
you stupid spineless
weakling simp.
Murder me!
[screams]
Superboy!
[echoes]
[laughing]
Now that was worth
the price of admission.
I haven't had so much fun
since I drowned
my little sister's kittens.
You think you won
that round?
Well, I'm still alive.
Why, you think you won?
Of course I did.
How do you figure?
You're still alive.
You should have killed me
when you had the chance.
You don't think I would
love to kill you, Luthor,
to crush you like a bug?
But I've got values
and rules.
And the second
I compromise them
is the second I become
a monster like you.
The crushing responsibility
of superpower.
You make me wanna puke.
There's no air in here.
You're running out of oxygen.
The lanterns are
burning it up.
You're finally getting
scared, huh?
Maybe I'll just jam this
down your throat, huh?
You think you can threaten
your way out of here.
We're trapped.
What happens if they
don't get us out in time?
You can either work
with me or die.
Work with you?
I could take all the Kryptonite
and shove it to the farthest
corner of this stinkin' hole.
It wouldn't be far enough away
to restore your powers.
The place is too small!
I saw some batteries
on the way in.
If we can get to them,
break them open,
we can use the lead
to shield the Kryptonite.
Then I can get us out.
How far in are these
lead batteries?
I'm not sure.
My vision's cloudy, obstructed.
OK, I'll make you a deal.
- I help you dig,
you let me go if we get out.
- No way.
Yeah, well, there's no way
I'm going to the chair.
That's the chance
you'll have to take.
This game was your call.
[rocks falling]
Maybe I'll just burn that bridge
when I come to it.
What a waste.
Keep digging.
I mean you.
You could have had it all.
Money, power, women, anything.
If you just had the guts
to reach out and take
what you want.
That's not what I want.
Well, what do you want?
To make the world
a better place.
[laughs]
[coughs]
Oh, God, you're so
like a greeting card.
So that's why you're
wasting your ability?
To save the world?
The world isn't worth it.
It is worth it.
People are worth it.
People are slime.
Everyone blubbers
about kindness and good will
and then quietly looks out
for number one.
Dig.
Compassion's a little too
expensive for the average Joe.
Survival of the fittest
is the name of the game.
It's the law of the jungle
and everyone knows it.
That's what every psychotic
since Hitler used
to justify himself.
Shut up and dig.
Our lucky day.
Jackpot.
There's no lead in here.
It's just some kind
of carbon alloy.
Lana's our only hope.
[grunting]
[coughs]
This is a hell of a way
to cash in your chips.
You know, you never really
answered my question.
Huh?
What did you want?
I mean, for yourself.
More than anything else?
Yeah.
For you to stop bothering me.
[laughs]
Looks like you're finally
gonna get your wish.
Come on, for old time's sake.
What did you really want?
An ordinary life.
What, you mean a house
in the 'burbs?
A wife, kids and station wagon?
The freedom to compromise.
I've heard of aspiring
to mediocrity,
but this is ridiculous.
How about you?
What did you want
more than anything else?
To be king for a day.
And that would
make you happy?
Happiness is for pigs.
The secret of joy
is absolute power.
[shouts]
It's gonna come down.
I wonder if
the spots.
They don't change.
What are you talking about?
I noticed it when
I first came into the mine.
Noticed what?
My vision penetrates normally,
except for certain spots
where it's cloudy
or completely obstructed.
Your visions are weakened.
That's what I thought
at first, but the spots,
they don't change.
They don't shift back
and forth when I move my eyes.
They're really there.
This must be
a lead mine.
OK, give it all you got.
Come on, you can do
better than that.
Beef it up.
Pour on the coals.
There we go. There we go.
That's it.
OK, just hang in there.
Hang in there.
Hey, come on.
You can't give up.
Think of think of
think of the people
you gotta save.
Women, children,
innocent victims.
What, you're gonna let 'em
fend for themselves? Come on!
You gonna let 'em all down?
You gonna let the bad guys win?
What am I saying?
You have a duty,
a responsibility.
Now fight!
Fight! Fight!
Oh, my God.
It worked.
We did it.
[grunts]
We're catching
the next train out of here.
And, man,
you're the locomotive.
Hey, how we doing, champ?
Superboy.
Hey, come on, come on.
You can't check out
on me now.
No fair. Come on, Superboy.
Are we feeling better?
- Thanks.
- Huh?
- I didn't think you could
- Yeah, me, neither.
Come on, come on.
It's getting stuffy in here.
[inhaling]
[shouts]
What took you so long?
Checkmate.
[laughs]
This is just too easy.
I'll tell you what.
I'll cut you the same deal.
You promise to let me go,
I'll put this stuff away.
I can't do that.
Oh, Supey, buddy,
after all we've been through?
Not a chance.
But I'm gonna kill you.
I know.
And you accept that?
You can just say you were
gonna let me go and then
grab me when you were safe.
I can't do that, either.
Well
you just don't leave
me much choice, do you?
I guess not.
Can't do it, can you?
[shouts]
There.
That oughta hold you a while.
Turning over a new leaf?
Don't you ever
tell anyone I let you go.
You'll never win, Luthor.
It matters now whether
you win or lose.
I'm gonna hate myself
in the morning.
[music playing]
from a distant planet,
to a bold new destiny
on Earth,
found by a Kansas family
and raised as Clark Kent,
he learned he possessed
the strength of steel,
the speed of light
and the desire
to help all mankind.
He is Superboy!
[music playing]
[Lana grunts]
Luthor, let her go!
I'm the one you want.
The game's over, Luthor.
The games have just begun.
It's a trap!
What else is new?
Gotcha, sucker.
No!
Lana, run!
Out of my way.
Luthor! Luthor.
Lana. Lana.
Wake up!
Luthor, snap out of it.
Get the Kryptonite
away from me.
Throw it so I can
move this thing.
Go. Luthor, crawl out.
Help me.
Bombs away.
[laughing]
You're dead meat, Superboy.
A dead duck.
Dead as a dodo.
Look around, Luthor.
If I'm dead,
you're dead, too.
- Shut up.
- We're trapped.
I said shut up.
[gasping]
Move it or I'll die.
Well, that's the idea.
You need my help.
Of course, you're right.
How silly of me.
What can I do for you, boss?
Get the Kryptonite
as far away from me
as you can.
Right.
The best I can do.
The place is kind of tiny.
And now, your highness.
[panting]
Let's just hope
Lana made it out.
Because she'll bring help.
Oh, goody.
I've got a plan.
Do you now?
Me too.
I plan to have some fun.
For God's sake, Luthor.
[laughs]
You're out of your
mind, Luthor.
Perhaps we'll play some
Kryptonite dodgeball.
You think this is all a game?
You can die in here, too.
Do you have me enough to die?
Let me see.
How do I hate thee?
Let me count the ways.
I hate that dull look
of integrity in your eyes.
I hate your moronic
pretty boy charm.
I hate
I hate that damn curl
in the middle of your
forehead.
I hate your
feebleminded glaze
of honesty, goodwill.
Bottom line, I hate you
'cause you're hate me.
You're scum, Luthor.
But I don't hate you
or anybody else.
You hate me when I do this.
Oh!
Now do you hate me, huh?
[blows raspberries]
How about if I do this?
This is the way
it's supposed to be.
Man to man.
Fight to the death.
You know, I've waited
my whole life for this.
Go on. Kill me.
Kill me! If you don't
kill me, I'll kill you,
you stupid spineless
weakling simp.
Murder me!
[screams]
Superboy!
[echoes]
[laughing]
Now that was worth
the price of admission.
I haven't had so much fun
since I drowned
my little sister's kittens.
You think you won
that round?
Well, I'm still alive.
Why, you think you won?
Of course I did.
How do you figure?
You're still alive.
You should have killed me
when you had the chance.
You don't think I would
love to kill you, Luthor,
to crush you like a bug?
But I've got values
and rules.
And the second
I compromise them
is the second I become
a monster like you.
The crushing responsibility
of superpower.
You make me wanna puke.
There's no air in here.
You're running out of oxygen.
The lanterns are
burning it up.
You're finally getting
scared, huh?
Maybe I'll just jam this
down your throat, huh?
You think you can threaten
your way out of here.
We're trapped.
What happens if they
don't get us out in time?
You can either work
with me or die.
Work with you?
I could take all the Kryptonite
and shove it to the farthest
corner of this stinkin' hole.
It wouldn't be far enough away
to restore your powers.
The place is too small!
I saw some batteries
on the way in.
If we can get to them,
break them open,
we can use the lead
to shield the Kryptonite.
Then I can get us out.
How far in are these
lead batteries?
I'm not sure.
My vision's cloudy, obstructed.
OK, I'll make you a deal.
- I help you dig,
you let me go if we get out.
- No way.
Yeah, well, there's no way
I'm going to the chair.
That's the chance
you'll have to take.
This game was your call.
[rocks falling]
Maybe I'll just burn that bridge
when I come to it.
What a waste.
Keep digging.
I mean you.
You could have had it all.
Money, power, women, anything.
If you just had the guts
to reach out and take
what you want.
That's not what I want.
Well, what do you want?
To make the world
a better place.
[laughs]
[coughs]
Oh, God, you're so
like a greeting card.
So that's why you're
wasting your ability?
To save the world?
The world isn't worth it.
It is worth it.
People are worth it.
People are slime.
Everyone blubbers
about kindness and good will
and then quietly looks out
for number one.
Dig.
Compassion's a little too
expensive for the average Joe.
Survival of the fittest
is the name of the game.
It's the law of the jungle
and everyone knows it.
That's what every psychotic
since Hitler used
to justify himself.
Shut up and dig.
Our lucky day.
Jackpot.
There's no lead in here.
It's just some kind
of carbon alloy.
Lana's our only hope.
[grunting]
[coughs]
This is a hell of a way
to cash in your chips.
You know, you never really
answered my question.
Huh?
What did you want?
I mean, for yourself.
More than anything else?
Yeah.
For you to stop bothering me.
[laughs]
Looks like you're finally
gonna get your wish.
Come on, for old time's sake.
What did you really want?
An ordinary life.
What, you mean a house
in the 'burbs?
A wife, kids and station wagon?
The freedom to compromise.
I've heard of aspiring
to mediocrity,
but this is ridiculous.
How about you?
What did you want
more than anything else?
To be king for a day.
And that would
make you happy?
Happiness is for pigs.
The secret of joy
is absolute power.
[shouts]
It's gonna come down.
I wonder if
the spots.
They don't change.
What are you talking about?
I noticed it when
I first came into the mine.
Noticed what?
My vision penetrates normally,
except for certain spots
where it's cloudy
or completely obstructed.
Your visions are weakened.
That's what I thought
at first, but the spots,
they don't change.
They don't shift back
and forth when I move my eyes.
They're really there.
This must be
a lead mine.
OK, give it all you got.
Come on, you can do
better than that.
Beef it up.
Pour on the coals.
There we go. There we go.
That's it.
OK, just hang in there.
Hang in there.
Hey, come on.
You can't give up.
Think of think of
think of the people
you gotta save.
Women, children,
innocent victims.
What, you're gonna let 'em
fend for themselves? Come on!
You gonna let 'em all down?
You gonna let the bad guys win?
What am I saying?
You have a duty,
a responsibility.
Now fight!
Fight! Fight!
Oh, my God.
It worked.
We did it.
[grunts]
We're catching
the next train out of here.
And, man,
you're the locomotive.
Hey, how we doing, champ?
Superboy.
Hey, come on, come on.
You can't check out
on me now.
No fair. Come on, Superboy.
Are we feeling better?
- Thanks.
- Huh?
- I didn't think you could
- Yeah, me, neither.
Come on, come on.
It's getting stuffy in here.
[inhaling]
[shouts]
What took you so long?
Checkmate.
[laughs]
This is just too easy.
I'll tell you what.
I'll cut you the same deal.
You promise to let me go,
I'll put this stuff away.
I can't do that.
Oh, Supey, buddy,
after all we've been through?
Not a chance.
But I'm gonna kill you.
I know.
And you accept that?
You can just say you were
gonna let me go and then
grab me when you were safe.
I can't do that, either.
Well
you just don't leave
me much choice, do you?
I guess not.
Can't do it, can you?
[shouts]
There.
That oughta hold you a while.
Turning over a new leaf?
Don't you ever
tell anyone I let you go.
You'll never win, Luthor.
It matters now whether
you win or lose.
I'm gonna hate myself
in the morning.
[music playing]