The Adventures of Superboy (1988) s04e05 Episode Script

[theme music]
(male narrator)
Rocketed from a distant planet
to a bold new destiny on Earth.
Found by a Kansas family
and raised as Clark Kent.
He learned, he possessed
the strength of steel
the speed of light
and the desire to help
all mankind.
He is Superboy.
[theme music]
[intense music]
[snapping]
(female #1)
Lex.
Lex.
Oh, Lexy poo.
Close your eyes.
Are they closed?
Ta-da!
How do I look?
Answer me.
You look marvelous, darling.
Oh, Lex,
you're just saying that.
Classiest star
in the whole face of the Earth.
Oh, Lexy, poo.
You, bug eyed creep,
it's my birthday!
You forgot, didn't you?
After everything I've done.
One lousy day of the year
isn't asking too much.
I've done your socks,
wash your underwear
cut off the letters
for your ransom notes.
Feed your fat face
day in and day out.
Hiding in this dump
like a cockroach.
How I might as well be dead.
Now this is it, skin head.
If you don't take me out
right now, tonight
it's over.
Lex, look at me.
You look at me!
If you don't put that down
right now..
and look at me..
I'll kill myself.
Lex.
Three and a half months..
I've been working
on this a..
a formula
that could increase
my mental powers exponentially.
Three and a half months.
- And you just destroyed it.
- Good.
I suppose mega-mental power
doesn't mean much
to a flee brain twit like you
because you've got the mind
of an amoeba.
But it means a lot to me.
So, go on, kill yourself.
You'll be doing us,
both a favor!
[intense music]
[glass shattering]
[coughing]
[screaming]
No!
Darla?
Darla?
Are-are you okay?
That's wrong.
What?
You killing a peptide bonds.
Huh?
You structurals are okay
but you're never gonna generate
any deoxide ribules
if you keep breaking down
your pyrimidines,
dehydration synthesis
doesn't work like that.
Dumbo.
Oh my God, it worked.
What's the square root
of eight seven million
nine hundred
and forty six thousand
eight hundred and eight four?
This is getting tedious.
Now, you're just jealous.
Dummy.
Well, if you're so smart
why don't you put it to use?
Why don't you plan something?
- Like what?
- Oh, I don't know.
A bank job.
Another bank job?
I'd say, Lex, you have
the imagination of a trout.
I'm the most brilliant criminal
genius in human history.
I need to make a debut.
Global debut.
- What do you have in mind?
- Something.
Spectacular.
[phone dial tone]
(man on radio)
This is a WCXP news flash.
The financial record
of the entire international'
banking system
have been scrambled
by a mysterious
computer virus.
The unknown hacker sent
a ransom note
demanding 100 million dollars
to restore the system
It's signed
the bird of paradise.
- Wonder what that..
- This is WXCP news flash.
Clark?
This is nuts.
How we gonna escape?
We'll worry about
that later.
- Don't you have a plan?
- Trust me.
You maybe a genius
but this's really pushing the--
Shut up and do
what you're told, dumbo.
- We have an appointment.
- Wait a minute.
The Bird of paradise,
I presume.
Bingo.
An apt description.
Oh.
You like what you see.
Perhaps, had we met
under a happier circumstances.
It's all here.
This should solve
your little problem.
Much thanks.
Oh, before you rush off
I'd like to introduce you
to a friend of mine.
Right on schedule.
- You expected this?
- Button it.
Hey there, big fella.
- Long time no mumbo jumbo.
- Oh, God.
Tell me, Luthor.
Did you really think
that you can get away with this?
I'm taking you in.
Oh, wouldn't you rather
take me out?
I never let a guy touch
me in the first date.
- What's going on?
- It's simple.
Whatever I think, umm, happens.
Psychokinesis,
that's impossible.
- The formula was--
- All this and brains too.
What you gawking at, handsome?
Darla, what are you after?
Fly me to the moon.
You are kidding.
Well, I am woman, you are man.
You are pathetic.
You may be dangerous,
you may be powerful.
But you're still
a bad joke.
How dare you.
I have the mental power
of a whole computer bank.
I can move things with my mind.
My I.Q. is off the scale.
And not only that..
I'm pretty.
Beauty is in the eyes
of the beholder.
[intense music]
Darla, you should learn
to control your emotions.
You want control?
What this.
No, wait.
Wait-wait a minute.
What-what? No, no.
What are you doing?
Get me down.
Pull me back, get me out.
What is she doing?
Wo, no. No, oh, no.
Yeah, that's it.
That's better.
- Ah.
- Better, easy.
Easy now, easy now.
That's it?
- Great.
- Thanks. Right.
[instrumental music]
Darla, this is insane.
If I take his girl friend out,
Superboy will wise up.
What the devil you want
with Superboy?
Oh, great, she's got Kent
with her. Let's forget it.
Oh, what's the matter?
You're scared of him?
Oh, please.
- Your coming with us.
- Not this again.
Do you realize that kidnapping
is a violation of--
Don't make me mad.
I'm giving Superboy 24 hours
to meet me on my turf
and on my terms.
Or you both history.
- We're taking both of them?
- The more the merrier.
Lick this.
You better pray that he shows.
Now get moving.
[humming]
[humming continues]
[instrumental music]
And then she drank it?
Every last drop.
So what happened next?
She turned in to a very
intelligent monster.
Sort of a cross between
Raquel Welch and Godzilla.
- Can you change her back?
- Sure.
All I have to do is replicate
what happened in that beaker.
And then mix an antidote
to the serum.
It ought to be easy
with a super computer
in about three years.
Uh, excuse me.
I know someone that might help
to speed the process.
Yeah, sure.
He-he wears a red cape?
You don't actually exp--
[thunder rumbling]
I'd think about it.
When hell freezes over.
(Darla)
Think about what?
[intense music]
Oh. Nothing.
When the cat's away..
What are you doing, Lex?
Uh, well, you know.
Doodles.
Darla!
Darla, you broke..
Darla. Oh, no, please.
I wasn't doing anything!
I wasn't doing anything.
I'm what you
made me, Lex.
Don't even think
about undoing it.
There's no way back.
[sparking]
But apparently Superboy likes
to keep his dates waiting.
Well, if he doesn't show up soon
I'm afraid I'll have some..
very unhappy guests.
The storm is the earthquake.
She's causing them, isn't she?
That's the least of it.
She's growing more powerful
by the second.
We maybe headed
for a global holocaust.
Well, if you let us go.
I can reach Superboy
and arrange a meeting.
There's a lab
at the bureau, right?
You tell Superboy
to meet me there in an hour.
- Let Lana go too.
- She stays.
It's the only way.
Go!
No, wait.
Hit me.
- What?
- Gotta look like you escaped.
Now, hit me.
- I don't know.
- Oh, come on.
[laughing]
You really are a wimp,
aren't you?
Can't you put
a little muscle into it?
[intense music]
Well, if you say so.
I got the latest
science readings.
Darla is over charging
the Earth's magnetic field.
Looks like things
are getting worse.
Icebergs in the L.A harbor.
Eskimos with
heat prostration.
- It's definitely getting worse.
- Let me see that.
[beeping]
Professor Peterson!
I gotta go.
It's quite a shiner.
It's nothing.
Who did it?
I ran into a door, okay.
The whole earth is about
to go out of orbit.
So can we just focus here?
We got to identify
the exact amount of enzyme
that was released
into the solution
when Darla grabbed my arm
and knocked that dropper
into the beaker. Now,
we're talking trial and error.
Unless we get lucky.
We'll have to run the experiment
several thousand times.
I can do that
in few minutes.
- A few minutes?
- Hyper speed.
Ah.
Well, once we got the formula
I can whip up the antidote.
And how you gonna test it?
Unless you want to volunteer,
I suggest we feed it to a rat.
Fine.
Can you handle the taste?
Let's just get started.
[instrumental music]
I don't get it.
He was down to 22 seconds
and now he's just sitting there.
(Lex)
He's reading.
I'll mix the anitdote.
[thundering]
The head geophysicist
is predicting that the Earth
is gonna flip off its axis.
In 38 minutes.
Oh, my god.
I sure hope she's thirsty.
[intense music]
I didn't want
any of this.
I didn't plan
to hurt anybody.
And I certainly wasn't trying
to steal your guy.
It's just..
Darla..
You need help because Superboy
can do something about this.
Superboy doesn't understand
me anymore than Lex does.
[rumbling]
I just wish..
I just wish that Lex wouldn't..
You're free to go.
Darla.
I'm not gonna leave
you like this.
(Lex)
Greetings.
Wo!
It's a regular
monsoon out there.
- Where have you been?
- I tried to track down Clark.
You know. A funny thing happened
on the way to the library.
This guy comes up to me.
And he asked me for a light.
Ha ha, blood of the wine.
You know, it's kind of funny
because I don't smoke.
I used to but I quit.
I don't even miss it.
Well, I suppose I could
use one right now.
(Lex) Have you ever seen
photos of smoker's lungs?
Black and charred.
Strange..
passive growths.
Here, honey. Drink up.
Your hand is shaking.
Oh, well, I-I probably caught
a chill, the rain, you know.
Or is it poison?
Or the antidote?
Antidote for what?
Don't insult
my intelligence.
You've been working
with Superboy.
- Superboy?
- He's coming, isn't he?
No, what makes
you think that..
Real clever, Lex.
- Darla, you have to drink it.
- Why should I?
- You have a minute left.
- Before what?
Before your psychokinetic powers
destroy the whole world.
So?
[rumbling]
And Darla.
What do you want?
All I ever wanted
was a little affection.
Maybe a little respect.
Will destroying
the world get it for you?
Believe me.
I would drink it if I could.
Well, here.
Darla, come on,
drop the shield.
- I can't.
- What do you mean you can't?
I can't control it.
- It's involuntary.
- A defense mechanism.
[whispering]
- What?
- Try it.
Oh, God, geez
Gosh, honey, I'm a really..
I'm really sorry about all
the stuff that I..
I mean, what I'm..
[instrumental music]
I love you.
What did you say?
I love you.
Really.
Here, honey.
Let me help you.
Here.
[intense music]
What's going on?
What's everybody
looking at?
A very brave woman.
- Huh?
- A very smart lady.
Who me?
Classiest doll in
the face of the Earth.
Aww.
Lexy poo.
[theme music]