The Amazing World of Gumball (2011) s05e27 Episode Script

The Sorcerer

You're late, too?! Yeah, the alarm clock went back to sleep mode, and I didn't have the heart to wake it up.
You? My alarm clock didn't dare wake me up, not after what I did to the last one! Right, uh, well, see you at school! How did you get here first? Yeah, my Uncle Mario gave me a lift.
What, in his go kart? No, he only races at the weekend.
During the week, he's too busy with his plumbing business.
Wait, is he scared of ghosts, by any chance? Yeah.
And he likes stars, dinosaurs, and princesses.
And he's your uncle.
So? Marry me! Called it.
Guess I owe you 20 bucks.
No, okay, I get it.
I'm moving too fast.
I meant adopt me.
What? Date! Uh, should we d-date first? You mean you want to be friends? Best friends! Uh, okay The rest will follow naturally.
Gumball, it's a bad idea to manipulate someone's feelings for your own gain, especially if that someone's Ocho.
Yeah, I get your point, but on the other hand Mario Let's just take a moment to remember what Ocho's like when he's angry.
Eh, he's not that bad if you think about it with different music.
You'll regret this.
Yeah, but my tombstone will say, "This dude met Mario.
" Follow me! I need to test you before you can enter my circle of trust.
Okay, where do we start? I need to see if you've got my back in a fight.
I'm gonna punch you so hard, you're gonna beg for your baby teeth back! Yeah? Well, I'm gonna punch you so hard, it'll make the Big Bang seem like the Little Pop! How did this situation escalate so quickly? I was literally two steps behind you! Get them! Okay, don't worry.
I'm not gonna hurt you.
I'm just gonna take a swing, and you just go, "Aah!" and take a fall and we're good, all right? Ohh! Okay, great.
You're right.
It looks better if you put up more of a fight.
So next, I So now I'm gonna pretend to kick.
You dodge.
And then pretend to fall on a right hook.
Uh, yeah! That That's what you get! Very good.
But we're not done yet.
Good job.
You really sold it.
Please call an ambulance.
Okay, now you're just being hammy.
Now I need to test if you can keep a secret.
Ocho isn't my real name.
This is my real name.
Harry Tootmorsel.
But real friends don't laugh at each other's misfortune.
Of course, Tootmorsel.
Is it Nordic? Old Flemish, actually.
It means "the hot wind from the south.
" It's a family name that's been passed down the generations.
My grandfather passed it.
My father passed it.
One day, I will pass it.
Cool secret.
Anything else? I still sleep with the blanket I had as a baby.
Aww! I use it as a gag when I take people's pets hostage.
There's no punch line 'cause it's not a joke, is it? Why did you agree to lend Ocho $100?! Because it was another one of his tests.
That's not a valid reason.
Because Mario.
That's even worse! Anyway, where'd you get the money from? Even Mom and Dad don't have $100.
Not anymore they don't.
But that's what credit cards are for, right? What's the worst that could happen? So 100 expired doughnuts comes to $1.
Oh, better put it on the credit card.
The card's been declined, sir.
What? I'm afraid I'm gonna have to cut it up.
Ohh, this couldn't get any worse! But we have our own store credit-card scheme that lets you borrow as much as you like With interest, of course.
Fine! Thank you.
According to our interest scheme, you now owe us $7,578.
This really couldn't get any worse.
Unfortunately, the interest rate doubles every second, so you now owe us $15,156.
It really, really couldn't get any worse.
Touché, universe.
Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! What is this?! What is going on?! You took my best friend from me! Who are you? What do you want?! You took Ocho from me! Now you're gonna have to make a choice.
What?! What do you mean? Choose between yourself and Ocho.
One of you has to go.
Option "A" Jump, and I spare him.
Option "B" Don't jump, and he goes down.
So what's your answer? Yes.
"Yes," what? What?! Hold on.
Let me get closer.
I can't hear a word of what you're saying.
Ha! You fell into my trap.
I'm on the other side.
You've made your choice.
Make your decision! It's him or you! You're running out of time! Choose now! Aah! Huh? Good choice.
A true friend always puts the other before himself.
Also, funny prank, right? Yeah.
You really got me there.
Um, w-what's this? The circle of trust.
To complete the ritual, you must forsake all other friends and declare your loyalty to me alone.
What do you mean? You must sacrifice Darwin.
"Darwin is no longer my best friend.
Best friendship is begun with Ocho"? Uh, ouch.
Trust me.
It's way better than what he suggested I use this for.
And this is the final hoop I had to jump through to be friends with that nut case.
You know you'll always be my bae.
And you'll always be my boo Your friendship gets me through the trials of the day And through the darkness of the evening Too, whoo All right, then, so when do you get to see Mario? Apparently, he's taking me and Ocho for golf! I mean, that's probably the most boring game you can play with Mario, but still Yahoo! Let's-a go! Whoo! Wizz! Huh? Gross.
Wahoo! Hey, man! Oh, hey, dude.
This is my uncle.
It's me.
Uh You must be really disappointed it wasn't the real Mario.
Still, makes sense.
I mean, any guy would like go-karting, stars, and princesses.
I think I'm more upset about the amount of butt he flashed every time he picked up the ball.
It looked like a huge purple apricot stuffed into a cheap pair of polyester pants.
So what now? I refuse to hang out with a kid whose own parents have to lock their bedroom door to feel safe at night.
Uh, how do you let someone that dangerous down? Off the edge of a cliff.
You mean that metaphorically, right? Yeah.
O-Of course.
How are you gonna break it to him? A strongly worded letter.
A mildly worded poem? I wanna say you're a real good guy But we both know that would be a lie It's been a nightmare being your friend So it's time for this charade to end I can't sa-a-a-y goodbye 'Cause you might grind me down into meat pie I'll tell the school that you've got avian flu So it'll be their job to get rid of you I hope they put you into quarantine Or lock you up until you turn 18 So maybe then I'll never have to fear That you might suddenly bite off my ear Please don't bite off my ear I can't say goodbye My face will be too mangled to identify If I could get your house repossessed You'd be forced to relocate to your gran's in the Northwest I could get you arrested for stealing a car I could get you a job as a miner I could ship you in a crate to Qatar Or sell you as kebab to a dirty diner It's not meat, anyway I could get your folks to forget you on the freeway Sell you to a freak show on its way to Uruguay I could get you stuck on a fair ground ride Forever Send you to a wedding in Somewhere-Stan With you as the bride I can't say goodbye But it's no use trying to deny That I don't wanna be friends with you So do whatever you have to do I get it.
Too intense, right? If I had to rate my stress on a scale of 1 to 10, I'd score a I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have tested you like that.
It's just I got trust issues.
I always wonder if people really want to be friends with me, or, you know, because of my uncle being so famous and stuff.
What? Mario? No, the other one.
The blue hedgehog who can run very fast.
But it's cool.
After all we've been through, I think I'm more able to trust people now.
So thanks for that.
Wait! Not worth it.
You're right.