The Avengers (1961) s02e17 Episode Script

1 (theme music playing) And now, ladies and gentlemen, the world's most famous illusion, the disappearing lady.
But first I want to show you that this cabinet is entirely solid.
Solid sides, solid back solid floor.
And now I'm going to ask my assistant, Valerie, to step inside the cabinet.
Here she is, Valerie! (drum roll, light applause) No, madam, she's still there.
(light laughter) (drum roll ends) (light applause) And now the young lady will return! (piano plays flourish, woman screams) (piano playing upbeat song) It's a pity to say good night Because I never saw stars so bright But if you've gotta go home, you've gotta go home Give me a goodnight kiss It's a pity to say farewell Because the man in the moon won't tell But if you've gotta go home, you gotta go home Give me a goodnight kiss How's about tomorrow night Just you and me? I'll be waiting for you people Second show begins at 3:00 It's a pity to say adieu It's been a pleasure to sing for you I hope you've had a good time I hope you've eaten and drunk your fill So good night But don't forget to pay your bill.
Good night.
(finale plays, light applause) That's very kind of you, my dear.
Not at all.
It's a pleasure.
How's business? Not so good.
But it is early, and things are looking up.
Do you want a drink? Thank you.
I haven't seen you here before, have I? I've been around, but there's always a first time for everything.
Let's hope so.
Gin and tonic, please.
Would you like cigarettes? No, thank you.
That's not one of my weaknesses.
You must tell me what are sometime.
Well, it's rather funny you should say that because actually, I have just a lo You been here long? Well, yes, quite a while.
Of course, I used to be an actress, you know, but I found things so difficult Yeah, it must be very difficult.
Were you around when that unfortunate accident happened? Well, yes, that was only a couple of weeks ago.
But actually that was no accident, you know.
That girl was murdered.
Murdered? Don't tell me that.
You sure? Look, then she got into that cabinet, somebody was waiting around somewhere with a gun.
- And I'll bet you - Well? Go on.
Well, actually, we're not supposed to discuss it.
See you later, huh? Pity.
Getting quite exciting.
Mr.
Steed, I'm delighted to see you again.
Major, so am I, too.
Welcome back to my club.
May I? Please.
Your client is a great success.
I'm delighted to hear it.
Venus, the evening star.
I may even consider extending the booking.
Well, business has been terrible since that poor girl was murdered.
Such a tragedy.
I expect you worried about it.
Yeah, I saw something about it in the paper.
Oh, the police were everywhere.
First, they closed us altogether.
Then when they did allow us to open again, there were no customers until, uh, Venus arrived.
- And here she is again.
- Oh, well done, my dear! Well, if you'll excuse me, I'll leave you to talk.
Now you promise not to take her away.
(chuckles) This is a surprise.
What are you doing here? I came to hear you sing, what else? I bet you say that to all the big successful stars.
You know, I can still hardly believe it.
One minute, there I was out of work, and the next, my agent rings me up and tells me to come here.
Funny thing is even he doesn't seem to know how the booking came about, just got a phone call out of the blue.
- Funny, isn't it? - Never question the mysteries of fate, my dear.
- What'll do you have? - Nothing, thanks.
I've still got some more work to do.
I ran to a friend of yours the other day.
Who? Somebody you knew a couple of years ago when you were at the YWCA in Victoria.
Captain Sutherland, remember? Oh, yes, I remember.
Her father is a bigwig in the army.
He's a semi-invalid now, but NATO have seen fit to bring him out of retirement and give him a job as a technical advisor while Kathleen is looking after him It's a bit lonely.
Thought you'd go along and see her? Oh, poor Kathleen, of course, I'd love to go and see her.
Good.
How's life here, eh? Um what are the girls like? You know, all they ever talk about is the murder and their aching feet.
Oh, I heard about that, the murder.
Isn't it awful? I can't understand why anyone would like to kill a girl like that.
She was so popular.
Everybody seemed to like her.
- Who's taken her place? - Denise.
Gerry's very lucky to get her.
You wouldn't get me going anywhere near that cabinet.
(laughs) What actually happened? Well, During the magic act, there's a complete silence except for a roll of drums just before she reappears.
Now, if I wanted to shoot her, first of all, I'd need a gun.
- What about the noise? - With a silencer, of course.
- Of course.
- You could shoot it from almost anywhere in the club.
I bet it would be very interesting to take a look at that cabinet because is she was shot while she was in there.
There's bound to be a hole in the wood somewhere - where the bullet passed through.
- That's true.
Are you sure you don't want anything, my dear? Oh, no, thanks, I ought to get ready to do some more work.
- Will you be staying? - Well, I'll hope to.
But if I don't, I'll look by and say goodbye.
Don't forget.
Major, who's the girl over there? Oh, that's Denise.
Oh, she's the new magician's assistant, eh? She's very attractive.
Can I talk to her? But of course.
Nothing could be easier.
Denise? Denise, I'd like you to meet Mr.
Steed.
Very pleased to meet you.
How do you do? Will you have a drink? No, no, no.
This is on the house.
Nino? Now, you two enjoy yourselves.
Excuse me.
Cognac.
None for me, thank you.
I'm always a little nervous before I do a show.
So you're the new magic act.
Mm-hmm, yes.
About this cabinet, is that the same one they used originally when the When that silly little girl got herself killed? Yes, it is the same.
If that is all you are interested in, why don't you go and have a look at the cabinet for yourself? - It's backstage.
- Is it really? Thank you, I will.
Man: Well, gentlemen, the position is clear.
Three detachments to be moved by the end of the month.
Got that? I'm thinking of your armored units.
It means moving them without delay.
Got that? Now, we come to the question of Hello.
Oh! Found any bullet holes yet? No, you frightened me to death.
- I haven't found anything yet.
- I think if there had been any, the police would have found them long ago.
Oh, yes, I suppose so.
But if there aren't any bullet holes in the cabinet, she must have been shot when she got out.
When did she get out? How does this thing work? Well, there's a trap at the dance floor up there.
When she gets in the cabinet and closes the door, it automatically releases the lid which brings her down inside the inner shell of the cabinet.
It's dead easy.
"Dead" being the operative word.
This place gives me the creeps.
You know, I could hear someone talking before you came along.
Really? What'd they say? Well, I couldn't make it out very clearly.
Something about three detachments, armored units, and this man kept saying, "Got that? Got that?" Just like a schoolmaster talking to a class of backward kids.
I don't hear any mysterious voices.
Oh, it stopped now.
Who do you think it was? I've no idea.
I'm afraid I can't stay to the show.
Now there's Kathleen Sutherland's address.
Good luck.
Thanks.
Kathleen? Kathleen? Where the devil is everybody? Oh, it's you.
Jackson, while you're here, go fix me a brandy, will you? - Yes, sir.
- Just help me through this door.
Right we are, sir.
Thank you.
Thank you, sir.
You can't have brandy, father.
You know it's not good for you.
I'll not be told what I can or cannot do by you or anybody else.
If I want a brandy in the morning or the afternoon or the middle of the night, I shall have it, got that? Yes, father.
Now, if you'll just lean forward, I'll fix your cushion.
Stop treating me like an invalid.
I'm not ill.
No, father.
I tell you I'm not ill.
Now look, that wound in my back is a permanent injury, and no doctor or quack can do anything whatsoever about it.
Ooh, I dare say I get irritable and over-strained at times, I've got a heavy load on my shoulder.
But there's nothing wrong with my general health.
You admitted that yourself.
I never said there's nothing wrong with you.
What I have said time and again is that doctors can't help you.
I can't argue with you.
Look, father, all you have to do is to see that man I told you about.
Never mind whether or not you agree with his methods.
Greater things have been done by faith than by all the medicines in existence.
Faith.
(Chuckles) But Dr.
Gallam's a good man.
He can take away the pain and the suffering and transfer it to himself because he's such a good person.
Oh, rubbish, Kathleen.
I wish I can make you understand.
He's dealt with hundreds of cases, and because they put themselves completely in his hand, - he's cured them.
- Once and for all, Kathleen, I will not have that man in this house, got that? Yes, father.
You seeing your masseur today? Yes.
Where the devil's the fellow got to? He should have been here ten minutes ago.
Here we are, General.
Approximately nine and a half minutes late.
- I'm very sorry.
- Well - Good afternoon, Miss Sutherland.
- Good afternoon.
Let's get it over with and start beating me to a pulp again.
Ah! Hold tight then, General.
And here we go.
This is 1068.
May I have Welbeck, 9291, please? Thank you.
Oh, may I speak to Dr.
Gallam, please? Kathleen Sutherland.
Thank you.
Dr.
Gallam, look, I think you ought to come again, please.
It's about my father.
Quite a nip in the air today, eh, General? Still, anything's better than the snow.
That's what I always say.
Missed my number 9 bus again this morning.
I'd like to meet the joker who makes them line up in bunches of six then not another one for half an hour.
Steed, what do you know about faith healers? Faith healing, General? My daughter's been hoodwinked to believing that I should put myself in the hands of some faith healer.
Well, I'm not really qualified to talk about it.
But there is something in it, you know.
If a patient refuses to be healed, no amount of medicine will help.
But take a psychosomatic disease, for instance.
Now there's a disease in which the symptoms are self I'm so sorry, General self-induced.
You were suggesting that my injury is self-induced? Ah, not for one moment.
But if your condition was serious, it might take a psychosomatic condition.
Talking about it would help.
You mean I should confide in you? Well, we menservants observe the strictest confidence.
Now, I was at NATO headquarters the other day, and there was quite a lot of talking in the air about, oh, official secrets.
You mean you listen to gossip, eh? Oh, I wouldn't call it gossip, you know, General, No, leakage of information.
Hmm.
Yes.
Well, we'll stop there for today.
That'll do.
Well, not quite up to it today, General? Another time.
There we come.
Ooh! Take it easy.
There's your jacket.
Keep warm.
That's fine.
There's your scarf, sir.
Let's get you ready.
Oops, oops, sir, steady ship is a safe ship.
There we are, sir.
- Young man? - Yes, sir? If there were a leakage of information, I should be committing a grave indiscretion if I discussed it with you.
Well, of course, yes, sir.
Now hold tight.
- Tea's ready? - Ah, good.
Will you join us, Steed? Oh, thank you very much, sir.
Oh, on second thoughts, I think I better be that getting home.
Takes me all of an hour.
Don't want to miss that number 9 bus again, eh? See you tomorrow.
Good afternoon, Ms.
Sutherland.
- Good afternoon.
- Very well then.
Oh, thank you very much, sir.
Oh, good afternoon.
Fellow's got a mania about buses.
Ah, and who is this? This is Venus Smith.
Venus, this is my father.
- How do you do? - How do you do? We met at the YWCA.
It must be over two years ago now.
Oh, yes, nice to have you here, my dear.
Well, you two have a lot to talk about.
Look, Kathleen, just pour me out a cup of tea and send it in to the study, will you? I've got a lot of work to do.
Let me take it through for you.
And only one lump.
Got that? (door closes) Hello there, I didn't expect you back so soon.
Well, I'm surprised to find you alone.
What's that supposed to mean? You know.
I thought you knew everything, Mr.
Genius.
I don't know why you bother to work in this place, - knowing what you know.
- Oh, lay off, will you? Oh, you're so clever.
You make everybody else look like idiots.
- I said lay off.
- They sent me.
I'm no idiot and I'm not going to be pushed around anymore! Look, supposing you just stop nagging and tell me what's on your mind! She's very attractive, isn't she? - Who? - Henriette, of course.
(chuckles) Yes, she's all right.
I suppose that means that I'm all wrong.
Well, you're wasting your time.
She isn't even interested in you.
Then why get so worked up? Because I'm not gonna sit back while you throw yourself at some other woman.
At least Valerie didn't live long enough to know what sort of a rat you were.
Just what do you mean by that? Supposing I were to tell the police that you weren't quite so heartbroken about Valerie's death as you seem.
It wouldn't look too good, would it? - Why you dirty, little - (gasps) Shh! Listen.
What's going on? Nothing, I just knocked this over.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to disturb you.
I had no idea anyone was down here.
What a fascinating room.
Do all these things belong to your act? Yes, most of them are.
I enjoy making the props.
Did you build the disappearing cabinet as well? Yes.
Venus, I want to talk to you for a moment about our rehearsal.
Yes, well, we'd agreed not to rehearse.
You come up on stage.
I show you what I mean.
- You'll see.
- All right.
See you later.
Come on, what's wrong? Well, isn't it obvious? I thought everybody knew.
- Knew what? - Gerry! What's happened? He's after that girl, Henriette.
Oh, don't worry, it won't last.
I don't care, I'm gonna teach him a lesson he won't forget.
- How? - I'm going to give him a shock.
I'm not gonna do the act anymore.
Now look, Venus, I want you to go on in my place.
Me? In that cabinet? Oh, no, thank you.
Look, it's easy.
I'll show you how it works.
Oh, I know how it works, all right, but don't forget a girl was killed in that thing.
Oh, please, Venus, just for this one.
But, Denise, I don't want to go in there.
There's nothing to be afraid of.
Look, just shut the door and count five.
All right.
One two three four five.
All right, you can come up now.
One two three four five.
Denise? Denise? Denise, where are you? (clang) Oh, come on, Denise, stop playing tricks.
Denise? Denise? (gasps) What's the matter, my dear? I was showing Denise how the cabinet worked.
She's gone in there and gone down in the lift Well, take it easy.
Come on, show me.
Now, let's have a look.
(screams) What a day.
I began to think the police would never go.
Standing round, asking questions Yes, I wonder who told them that I quarreled with Denise.
Yes, I knew I'd be suspect number one.
Well, look, I didn't do it.
Steady on, dear boy.
No one is accusing anybody.
But who am I going to get to do the act with me? It might be a little difficult.
I've got to have someone.
(snaps fingers) Venus How about you? Oh, no.
Wait a Come on.
You know how it works.
- Well, yes.
- Ah, good, I knew you'd do it.
Just a minute, old boy.
She hasn't said anything of the kind.
Do you want to do it? Gerry: Please.
All right.
Thank you, Venus.
You're a real sport.
All right then.
Now I suggest you both go home and rest before the show.
- See you later.
- It's been quite an afternoon.
Hmm, I'll get my coat.
Nobody's got any reason to want to murder me, have they? Of course not.
By the way, I've got something to tell you.
You know last night at the club, I told you I heard a voice.
- Well, I found out who it was.
- Who? General Sutherland.
You know I said the man kept saying, "Got that? Got that?" Well, that's an expression that the General uses.
He was nowhere near here at the time.
But I tell you it was him.
I heard him.
Come on then.
And here's your coat.
Thanks very much.
There we are.
Do you know a man called Gallam, a doctor? Oh, yes, he treats some of the girls in the show.
He's always hanging round here.
He has some kind of magic box.
That's him.
Goodness knows what's inside it.
Some sort of healing thingamajig, you know, cosmic rays and all that.
You carry it around with you all the time, and the vibrations are supposed to cure you, or so they say.
I'd rather like to meet him.
- Do you think you could arrange it? - Yes, I should think so.
Say the girls have told you about his wonderful healing powers.
You have a friend, very rich, very ill, very sorry for himself.
(chuckles) A hypochondriac millionaire.
Me.
I got here as soon as I could.
Thank you.
This way.
Is it safe for us to talk? - Oh, yes, my father is working.
- Good.
I have the new box prepared.
Here it is.
I'm sure this is the answer.
You followed my instructions? Oh, yes, it was near him all the time.
Good, then before very long, you'll begin to notice a very great improvement in your father.
He seems much more comfortable already.
This is only just the preliminary radiation.
When his body becomes used to the proximity of these rays, he will respond very much more quickly.
I can't tell you how grateful I am.
It's so wonderful to hear absolute confidence.
I understand.
You know, I have a lifetime's dream.
I would like to run a clinic where sufferers could come secure from outside distractions and harmful vibrations.
It's very same with our work.
Not if I can help it.
- Father - You disobeyed my orders, Kathleen.
- General.
- You're doing your best to turn me into a laughingstock.
- Father, please let me explain.
- Don't trouble to explain Show this gentleman out of the house at once.
And you, sir, don't you ever set foot in this house again, got that? Father, you've no right to behave like that.
We're both doing the best we can to help you.
For the last time, show this man out.
I think it will be best.
Get out! You hear? Get out! Father, that was very childish of you.
Whatever your own prejudices may be, it doesn't give you the right to insult my guests.
Understand this I will not allow you to entertain that man under this roof again.
He is not going to treat me.
He's not going to attempt to treat me.
The fellow's a charlatan, and that is the end of it.
Good evening.
Can I help you? I hope so, Doctor.
I hope so.
May I sit down? I I feel a trifle dizzy.
My name is Thackeray.
Of course.
Miss Smith made your appointment, - but it was for 6:00.
- Time means nothing to me.
If I started counting the hours, I should become morbid.
Oh, yes, Miss Smith said you are unwell.
Miss Smith has a very strange sense of understanding.
I'm a chronic invalid.
Have you seen another doctor? Dozens.
They're all fools.
Some of them suggested there's nothing wrong with me, it was all in my imagination, One even went so far as to prescribe healthy exercise and a plain diet.
Some doctors are most unsympathetic.
Now could you give me details of your symptoms? Incurable lassitude, occasional spells of dizziness, acute internal disorders after heavy meals, and above all, an indefinable crushing sense (coughs) that one is not, as it were, in tiptop condition.
I understand, Doctor, that you can work miracles.
I would like to help you.
But you must help me.
Life is intolerable to me.
Now if it's a question of payment, I can pay you No, no, no.
It's not that.
I have a mission in life.
I'm here to help people.
If you don't charge at all, how do you live? I only ask for money if the cure is successful, and then only for the amount necessary for research and materials for the cure.
Materials? Yes, at all times, my patients must carry a small box which I give them.
Each box contains a complicated and finely balanced arrangement of minerals.
Each works in conjunction with its neighbor, together producing radiant vibrations of such a nature and intensity as to override completely any physical disability.
Now this balance can, of course, be upset, and to guard against this, I have to seal the boxes.
I see, and this is the best treatment for me? It doesn't involve exercise or diet or anything nauseating like that? Well, it's not quite that simple.
I can't just hand over one of these boxes without making quite sure that you are a suitable patient.
You see, these boxes are very difficult to prepare and once prepared, they must not be disturbed by anyone but me.
Now if I decided that you are a suitable patient, I should prepare one of these boxes with the necessary minerals and have it delivered to you.
Now the address? The address, please.
I recently returned to this country.
I'm trying to find a hotel without glass, without intolerable central heating, and above all with absolute quiet! No traffic no whistling pageboys.
I'm beginning to find it quite impossible.
Perhaps I could send it to Miss Smith? How thoughtful of you.
Now I shall need some details of your medical history.
I'm very grateful to you, Doctor.
I'm in your debt.
Morning, Harry.
Ah, morning, Miss Smith.
You're a bit early.
Yes, I've got rehearsal this morning.
Oh, don't work too hard.
Oh, I won't.
Wonder what this can be? Hello, there.
What's that? Box of chocolates from an unknown admirer? - Oh, sure.
- (chuckles) Ah, hello, Mr.
Weston.
Thank you.
(telephone rings) Hello? Oh, yes.
Yeah? I see.
Whatever's inside it, I want it kept intact.
Don't open it.
But I already have.
Well, what is it? Nothing of the least interesting, just a box with bits of wire and metal and gas tubes with something that looks like sand in them.
Look after it safely.
I want to see it over with you as soon as possible.
This is very important.
I want it delivered to Dr.
Gallam and I want it to get there before this evening.
- It's very important.
- Yes, madam.
Can I deliver it, Miss Sutherland? I'm going into town, and I know Dr.
Gallam.
What? Um, that'll be all for now, Mary.
Thank you.
Yes, madam.
Have you been spying on me? Of course not, Miss Sutherland, no.
I was in need of medical attention once, and I went to Dr.
Gallam as a patient.
- What are you trying to do? - I'm trying to help your father.
Can I deliver that letter for you, Miss Sutherland? No, thank you.
I'll deal with it myself.
Very good, Miss Sutherland.
Mr.
Steed? I am only trying to help my father.
I'm sure you are, Miss Sutherland.
(knock on door) - Come in.
- Hello there.
Oh, what do you want? I wanted to have a word with you about your friend, Mr.
Thackeray.
Oh? What about him? It appears that he's not an honest man.
He's trying to discredit my work.
Oh.
Really? You're not surprised? Well, after a couple of years in show business, I'm not easily surprised, But I believe what he told me.
Why shouldn't I? Didn't you know he was a doctor? No, I didn't know that.
Well, he is.
And he's out to make trouble for me.
- What do you mean? - Thanks to your folly, my whole life's work is in jeopardy.
I'm sure he didn't mean any harm.
In the future, if you recommend anyone to me, be more careful, and you better tell Mr.
Steed not to interfere in my business again.
Hello, darling.
All ready? Yes.
Come on now.
There's nothing to worry about.
Well, I hope not.
Let's go.
- Good evening, Nino.
- Good evening, sir.
A large brandy.
Well, hello there.
Well.
Hello there.
How about buying me a little drink or something? - (fanfare plays) - Well Excuse me.
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
Its cabaret time again.
We're very fortunate in having with us that internationally famous magician, the man who even mystifies the magic circle, Gerald Weston! (piano melody plays, light applause) - Ready? - Ready as I'll ever be, yes.
- Nervous? - Wouldn't you be.
- Want a drink? - No, thanks.
Don't worry.
I'll keep an eye on things.
Thanks.
By the way, Dr.
Gallam's has been to see me.
He told me to tell you not to interfere in his business.
He thinks you're a doctor.
Tsk tsk tsk.
Professional jealousy.
Something like that, yes.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, I would like to ask for the help of a young lady from the audience, someone you all know very well Venus.
(fanfare plays) Good evening.
Good evening.
Go on.
And now I'm going to ask Venus to step inside the cabinet.
(drum roll) And now the young lady will have disappeared.
(drum roll) (drum roll stops, light applause) But with a touch of Oriental magic and a dash of Western charm, voila! (fanfare plays, light applause) - Glad to have you back.
- Oh, I'm glad to be back.
Tell me something, did you hear any funny voices down there? No, nothing since the time you were there before.
You still say it couldn't have been General Sutherland? - I don't see how.
- I'm sure it was.
What about the package from Dr.
Gallam? - Where'd you put it? - It's in my dressing room.
Well, we'll go and have a look at it, but first, to your safe return.
Cheers.
Gerry, hurry up! I'm starving.
Worth waiting for.
And where will it be tonight, madam? The Ritz again, I suppose? (both chuckle) Oh, Gerry.
Look at this.
It's gone.
Did you lock the door? No.
I wonder.
Look, there it is.
Venus: I don't like this little box very much.
Oh, I know it's got nothing inside it, nothing that makes any sense, but all the same, I can't help thinking that well It's full of murder, eh? Yours or mine.
But how did they know it would work? They knew I'd come back to see you.
I want to see what's inside it.
It's quite easy, you know.
You rig up a booby trap.
When we move the box, the counterweight holding the lift goes and bingo.
When you saw the box, did you know? Not exactly, I half guessed when I saw the wire.
Do you really think it was meant for one of us? Oh, cheer up.
No, I think it's meant exclusively for me.
Dr.
Gallam knew that I was trying to expose him.
He had to stop me, but that is going a little far.
Unless the stakes are very high.
He probably makes a small fortune after selling all those little boxes.
But wait a minute, he wouldn't take any money when you offered it to him, would he? No.
Something else besides money concerning Dr.
Gallam.
Father? They're waiting for you, father.
Is anything wrong? No.
You're not depressed? No, why should I be? Well, let's do your cushions for you.
Now I'll take you in.
Thank you, my dear.
Kathleen? Yes, father? Are you going out? I was going out.
Why? I'd like to talk to you when I come out of the conference.
Well, I shan't be far away.
Good morning, gentlemen.
(telephone buzzes) Yes? Oh, yes, yes, of course.
Could you ask her to wait for just a moment, please? Oh, Miss Sutherland, please come in.
Do sit down.
Thank you.
You've brought the box? Oh, yes.
The box and my check.
You understand this is only for immediate expenses.
I wouldn't consider accepting any more money until your father was completely cured.
How is he, by the way? He seemed a bit depressed today.
Is he working hard? Yes, conferences mainly.
Well, it's always conferences.
He had another one this morning.
Oh, yes.
(Chuckles) I'm glad you called.
I meant to phone you.
I'm afraid I gave you the wrong box the last time.
It wasn't completely recharged.
I wonder if you could let me have it back.
Well, it's with my father now.
It could undo all our work.
When could you let me have it? - This afternoon? - I have to go out.
What about tonight? Yes, that could do.
Perhaps you could meet me.
I have to see a patient about 8:00.
Here.
The Gemini? We could have dinner together.
Well, that would be very nice.
Until tonight then.
Goodbye.
Goodbye, Miss Sutherland.
Steed? Steed? Fellow's never about when you want him.
Yes, General? You were calling.
Yes, I did.
Come in.
I want a word with you, young man.
Anything I can do for you, General? I think it's high time you came out into the open.
What are you up to here? This business of a masseur is just a cover, isn't it? You're quite right.
I'm checking a leakage in information.
This letter of instruction will tell you why it was necessary to keep my cover completely secret from all ranks as long as possible.
I see.
Sit down.
It may interest you to learn that I I have just received information that I'm to be relieved of my post.
I suppose you had a hand in that.
Your being relieved had nothing to do with me.
Then perhaps you will tell me how it is that this no question of this until you came here.
- Coincidence.
- Coincidence? I find that very hard to accept.
I'm only concerned with security.
Security? Are you suggesting there's anything lax in the security arrangements here? I'm afraid we must come to that conclusion.
Well, go on.
It's fairly clear that someone in this house is passing on secrets as fast as they're learned.
Now those are things only in the information of people in the position of trust.
But no one escapes the most thorough screening here, as you will know yourself.
Do you mind if I have a word with Miss Sutherland? - My daughter? - I'm not suggesting she can tell us anything.
We can't take any chances.
I want to ask her one or two questions.
There are some things she might be able to clear up for me.
- Kathleen? - I think you'll agree we have to check every possibility.
Well, you'd better get on with your job.
It's out of my hands.
Steed? If there is anything you want, you know where to find me.
Thank you, sir.
(boogie-woogie music playing) Nino, give me a drink, for goodness sakes.
I can't stand any more of that old flapper.
Good evening, madam.
Oh, good evening.
I'm Miss Sutherland.
I have an appointment to meet Dr.
Gallam.
Yes, of course, madam.
This way, please.
Thank you.
(soft piano music playing) This is it, fireworks night.
What do you mean? We're not gonna plant roses.
- Huh? - Good luck.
(upbeat piano music plays) The night is young, the skies are clear And if you want to go walking, dear It's delightful, it's delicious It's de-lovely I understand the reason why You're sentimental, well, so am I It's delightful, it's delicious It's de-lovely You can tell at a glance What a swell night this is for romance You can hear dear Mother Nature murmuring low "Let yourself go" So please be sweet, my chickadee And when I kiss you, just say to me It's delightful, it's delicious It's delectable, it's delirious It's dilemma, it's de-limit It's deluxe, it's de-lovely.
Good evening, Miss Sutherland, waiting for someone? As a matter of fact, I am.
Somebody's birthday? Look, will you please mind your own business? I don't think we have anything to talk about.
You're waiting for Dr.
Gallam, aren't you? Did my father ask you to follow me? No, but this does concern him.
Well, look, Mr.
Steed, I am determined that he shall be cured and by the methods I believe in.
It has nothing to do with his health but his reputation.
His reputation? Now, I don't think you chose this rendezvous for a discussion with Dr.
Gallam.
Well, no, as a matter of fact.
I'm merely returning something he lent me.
- A little white box? - Yes.
May I see it please? Look, if I was able to prove to you that Dr.
Gallam was a fraud, will you believe it? I could never believe such a thing.
May I see it, please? It may affect your father's entire future.
Thank you.
You mustn't open it! There.
Now, do you think this tape recorder has healing properties? Now that's how secrets were leaving your house.
But that can't be the box I had before.
I'm afraid it is.
All the ones he gave you were like that.
Now where have you been putting them? Well, Dr.
Gallam said they were to be kept near the patient.
I fastened them on the back of father's wheelchair.
They were with him wherever he went.
How did you come to meet Dr.
Gallam? - Did he approach you? - No.
No, we met at a dinner party.
But he must have impressed you.
He did.
Look, are you sure about this? I can't believe it.
Take that home and lock it up safely.
I'll collect it later.
Mr.
Steed? You do believe me, don't you? I was only trying to help father.
Of course.
I do believe you.
(fanfare plays) And now, ladies and gentlemen, I need the assistance of a member of the audience.
I wonder, madam, would you care to step up? - Oh, no - Yes, you, madam.
I wonder whether you could come up here.
- No, I have to go.
- Oh, come along.
There's nothing to worry about.
After all, I'm only going to make you disappear.
What's a little vanishing trick between friends? (chuckles) After all, our charming volunteer has very sportingly agreed to put her life into my hands and step inside the cabinet.
(applause) (drum roll) Dr.
Gallam.
Dr.
Gallam, what's going on? I think I ought to talk to you.
But of course.
Let us go in here, my dear.
Give me the box.
And where do you think you're going? Please let me go.
Please! Give me that.
- All right, but hurry.
- Don't worry.
It'll only take a second to transmit the whole of this.
That's far enough, Steed! Turn round.
All right Steed, over there.
Get out.
I'll handle it.
Sit down.
You won't mind if I take this? Are you all right? Yes, I will be in a moment.
Dr.
Gallam is out now.
He's armed.
- What? - Stay here.
Gallam: Well, phone him at once and tell him I want to see him in my office right away! (chuckles) No gun, eh, Mr.
Steed? He'll be all right.
Call the police.
Mr.
Steed? I've been very silly.
Never mind.
The phone's in there.
Of course, Gallam was the brains.
Gerry's job was the radio transmitter.
Right.
And Denise and Valerie were probably murdered because they found out that Gerry wasn't just a magician.
- Yeah.
- Perhaps they even heard the general's voice on the tape recorder, too, like I did, remember? Maybe.
Cheers.
Well, obviously Gallam was the murderer.
I mean, Gerry was on stage I'd forgotten all about Gerry.
But I didn't.
Police picked him up.
Oh, that's good.
Cheers.
Cheers.
Mm! And then there's Kathleen putting all those little boxes behind the general's chair like that, and all the time they've got tape recorders - Shall we dance? - Yes, all right.
Do you know, I think we made a dreadful mistake.
We should never have let Dr.
Gallam know that we knew what he was up to.
Then we could have fed him all sorts of false information, You know, had an entire roundtable conference with all the generals and admirals and everything (chattering indistinctly) (theme music playing)