The Avengers (1961) s05e03 Episode Script

Escape in Time

[Steed] Clive Paxton, one of our best agents, Mrs Peel.
- Or rather he was.
- What are the details? Only this morning at exactly 3:45 a.
- He was fished out of the Thames.
- Obviously dumped.
- Obviously.
- Obviously.
- Drowned? - Shot.
With this.
- It was fired - From a 16th-century gun.
Medium calibre.
Probably a sporting piece.
Used almost exclusively by noblemen in the Elizabethan period.
With that answer, you gain ten points.
Your team goes into the lead.
- It's curiously archaic.
- Ah, but the problem is bang up to date! [Clears throat] Notorious criminals, miscreants.
- Evil-doers - Men on the run.
are disappearing without trace.
It's a fact.
On the run one minute, vanished the next.
Someone has devised an escape route.
Exactly what we at the Ministry think There was an escape route all right.
Paxton was onto it.
I'll show you the file Excuse me.
at my apartment.
Oh, er, thanks for all your help.
The first one was Carl Bleschner, a German financier.
- Ran off with half an embezzled million.
- Ah, yes, I've got him.
- A very greedy face.
- Well, there's an even greedier one.
French bank robber.
He disappeared with a cool million.
Now, there's a face full of avarice.
- Reminds me of an auntie of mine.
- This one needs no introduction.
- President BB Jinn.
- Arrived at Election HQ, took off his hat.
- Took off his coat.
- Took off with the party funds.
I wonder what did happen to BB Jinn.
And none of these notorious criminals and evil-doers have ever been found.
Nor their ill-gotten gains.
And stranger than that, they were last seen heading for these shores.
Most men on the run go to South America.
These are coming here.
Now, there's an evil face if ever I saw one.
That's Tubby Vincent.
He's on our side! [Clip-clop of hooves] [Doorbell rings persistently] And one for Tubby.
Friend Tubby's going to wreck that bell.
Colonel Josino.
Josino, the ex-dictator.
Absconded with half the treasury.
Another man on the run.
"Josino arriving from South America.
" With a black crocodile? "Make contact 12:30.
" - Do you think he'll turn up? - I hope so.
He could lead us to the escape route, the first link in the chain.
Starting at Mackidockie Court.
[Door opening] [Motorbike revving] Took quite a beating.
- Luckily, Mrs Peel, you -are made of sterner stuff.
- Like it? - Remarkable, quite remarkable.
- Oh, it's not that good.
- That you can sew.
Known you all this time, never knew you could sew.
Well, our relationship hasn't been exactly domestic, has it? Shall we go? Remember, I follow the escape route and I follow you.
How do you do? My name is John Ooh.
I will take your passport.
Well, I'm very sorry, but I haven't got it with me.
Oh, I'm I'm most terribly sorry.
Erm, hang on.
Business is brisk, eh? Ask no questions.
You obey implicitly.
I trust that is clearly understood.
- Oh, your trust is not misplaced.
- Excellent.
You have travelled far? Far enough.
You are now near the end of your road.
But from now on, Ganesha is with you.
Ganesha, the elephant god.
Good for human beings too? It is the remover of all obstacles.
With its help, you can surmount any barriers.
And how do I get the Ganesha to shine on me? What would you give for an escape, for freedom, for complete liberty? Half my kingdom.
Our terms exactly.
You will leave the shop, turn right, and then left past the barber's.
And then? Oh, in the lap of the gods, eh? - You will turn right, then left - Past the barber's.
One more thing.
Your height was estimated as 6'2, your weight at 170 lb.
- Correct? - Correct, but you know You entered carrying your umbrella in your right hand.
Please continue to do so.
[Emma] Steed? Steed! [Birds squawking] He's here.
What are you escaping from? Forgive me, but I don't recall your notorious exploits, Mr Steed.
I haven't been found out yet, Mr Thyssen, Waldo Thyssen.
You have foresight, Mr Steed.
I have far more than that.
- In currency? - Diamonds.
Hmm How did you hear of us, Mr Steed? A friend of a friendof a friend.
You know my terms.
50% of the - The spoils? - Hmm, just so.
My problem is immediate.
Then we will deal with it imm immediately.
Mine is a unique service, Mr Steed, and one that has been utilised by many before you.
Bleschner, Joubert, BB Jinn, Colonel Josino.
[Steed] He disappeared quite recently.
Reports say he's in South America.
Yes, but the r-r-reports are wrong.
You can see Colonel Josino if you wish.
- Here? - Oh, you'll never be here, Mr Steed.
But you can still see him.
[Projector whirring] Come over here.
[Steed] That's Epsom, isn't it? [Thyssen] Derby Day, 1904.
A little before my time.
Not necessarily.
[Steed] And I would've thought before his time too.
Colonel Josino.
Well, Mr Steed? I can send a man back through the centuries, back to an era where before he never even existed.
[Steed] Thank you.
And where better to hide? A place where authority may never pursue you.
[Steed] Incredible, if it can be done.
Yes, yes, they're all sceptical at first.
That's why I insist on this trial run, so that you may see for yourself that it that it is possible.
Well, I've always had a hankering for the 18th century.
Gadzooks and stap me vitals! Now, where shall I arrive? Waterloo? You'll be travelling through time, not distance.
You'll arrive at your point of departure, this house and the year 1790.
- This house, hmm? - Yes.
It's been in my family since the 15th century.
Oh, well, then, I shall run into your forebears.
Samuel Thyssen was alive then.
A philanderer by repute, a great one for the l-l-ladies.
How about the others? Bruno, a sportsman.
Edwin, a duellist.
Herbert, squire of four counties.
How about this chap? Oh, that's Matthew Thyssen.
The black sheep.
An inquisitor and torturer.
It is said that he invented the rack.
I think I prefer Samuel the philanderer.
He's far more my line.
- Are you ready to find out? - Mm-hm.
Through the doors, then, if you please.
- Just - Oh, I I will control the rest.
You may experience dizziness at first.
That's just centrifugal force.
Don't worry, it'll soon pass.
- An escape in time.
- Bon voyage! [Horse and carriage approaching] Samuel, a philanderer by repute.
[Laughter] No! No.
If Samuel Thyssen sees us, he'll whip me.
Samuel's outside with his latest doxy.
Come on! Welcome back, Mr Steed.
I take it that you have no further doubts.
What happens now? Well, you purchase a one-way ticket to the past and your troubles of the present are over.
The price? Well, you said you had diamonds, Mr Steed.
I'm inordinately fond of diamonds.
I can't set my hands on them right away.
Oh, but we can give you time, Mr Steed.
After all, time is our speciality.
You get changed now.
We'll contact you in a day or two.
And you'll have to leave as you arrived, blindfolded.
Forgive me, but it's our precaution ag-ag Against unwelcome intruders.
A woman! Our European agent should have warned us.
- I shall have to check with head office.
- Head office were my original contacts.
Even so, I ought to I was told to expect an efficient operation.
- If this is an example of efficiency - Wait.
I should have been warned.
You will leave the shop, turn right, then left past the barber's.
You will then make your final contact.
[Birds squawking] Wait here.
Mrs Peel? Mrs Peel? We're looking for a 15th-century house.
- Righty-ho.
Which road? - Somewhere around here.
Somewhere? I was blindfold when I was taken there.
Yes, but I say, old chap, a house in an area the size of that? Well, blindfold or not, there are things I do remember.
- Hilly terrain.
- Hills - Church clock.
- Churches - But there are dozens of them.
- Oh, a bridge.
Bridges - Any more useful information? - Yes, turkeys.
- Turkeys! - Yeah, there were turkeys about.
Why didn't you say so in the first place? - Escape into the past? - [Thyssen] Where b-better? Do you have a particular vintage in mind? It's a woman's privilege.
The, er the choice is yours.
I really don't care.
As long as it's a good year.
- Victorian? - I hardly think they'd be amused.
No, perhaps not.
And women then, well they lacked your independence.
- I'm thoroughly emancipated.
- Hmm Does Elizabethan appeal to you? Not at all.
The men were so tiny.
And Matthew was alive then.
I wouldn't want you to meet Matthew Thyssen.
He was so cruel, especially to pretty women.
- The 1790s.
- Ah, Georgian.
A gracious age.
Women had their say and men appreciated them.
And you, Mrs Peel, you n-n-need to be appreciated.
I appreciate your appreciation.
When do I leave? There's no time like the p-present.
[Birds squawking] There you are.
This is it, or very near it.
The sound came from my back, so the house must be over there, behind that farm.
[Door opens] It suits you.
Oh, yes, it suits you.
You'll become one of the b-b-beauties of the era, matching Pompadour and If I decide to take up permanent residence.
Yes, yes, quite so.
Well, the sooner I'm there, the sooner I'll know.
Are we ready? Through these doors, Mrs Peel.
Through the doors.
By your leave.
[Woman] Thyssen? Thyssen! Thyssen, the woman who was here, she's the one who followed the escape route.
She she can't be.
She is.
I'm certain of it.
- How did she get here? - That we must find out.
- She's on her way to the 1790s.
- What? But we will divert her to another era, Matthew Thyssen's era.
He will know how to deal with her.
Now, look, old chap.
I know you're labouring under a strain, you're worried about Mrs Peel.
But if that's a 15th-century house to you Now, I ask again.
Who are you? I've already told you.
My name is Peel, Mrs Emma Peel.
These strange clothes you wear, the devil's work, designed to daze and to bewitch a man's senses, to inflame him to lust.
You should see me 400 years from now.
You're a heretic! A bawd! A witch! I can think of some names to call you too.
Short, up-to-date, highly descriptive names.
Do you know who you're addressing? Thyssen, Matthew Thyssen.
You're honoured, or benighted.
Whatever happened to the gracious 1790s? How came you here? I will know, madam.
We shall loosen your tongue from your very head if necessary.
We shall purge your secrets from you.
You will tell us how you came here.
You'll recount every step of your journey.
That would take some time.
Time is something that we have aplenty.
Yes? Where? Right, you deal with them.
I'll tell Thyssen.
I see you doubt our ability.
Well, we will know, madam.
We will know.
Looking for your associate, Mr Steed? I'd hardly call her an associate.
She's an old friend.
A late lamented friend when Matthew's finished with her.
Oh, Matthew.
He's the really nasty one, isn't he? Well Well? Mrs Peel in the hands of the enemy, my confederate lying unconscious, a loaded gun pointed at my neck.
I'm trapped.
Shall we dance? Oh, thank you.
Thyssen! Get back.
How do you do? Out you come.
You're a little ahead of your time.
And your time, M-Mr Steed, is running out.
Oh, come now, Waldo.
Do you mind if I call you Waldo? Or would you prefer Matthew, Edwin, Samuel? - He's very good at them all, you know.
- His Matthew's marvellous.
I prefer his Samuel.
He's a lovable little rogue.
No, no, no.
His Matthew's much more in character.
- [Steed] I think I see your point.
- All right.
That's enough.
- Drop it.
- Drop it? - Drop it.
- Drop it.
Drop it! Game and set.
The time machine's in there, cleverly placed mirrors, coloured lights.
- Plus a canister or two of sleeping gas.
- For the trial run, that is.
- Once the loot's been handed over - The game is more lethal.
- How do we get back? - The way I came.
Through the 1690s into the 1790s, back into the 1960s.
Next stop the moon.
Didn't we get the vote? - Escape route.
- Dangerous.
I'm taking you to a party.
I've got a taxi waiting.
[Emma] Wouldn't it be safer by horse? [Engine stutters] [Engine backfires]