The Avengers (1961) s05e10 Episode Script

Never, Never Say Die

Call the morgue.
Dead on arrival.
Mrs Peel? We're needed.
Where's the body? - There isn't one.
- No body? - No body.
- There's always a body.
- There was.
- Ah.
But this one got up and walked away.
I can confirm that.
Mrs Peel, this is Dr James, the duty resident.
It's a fact, Mrs Peel.
There was no pulse, heartbeat, respiration.
Ice-cold to the touch, pupils completely dilated.
- All the symptoms of death.
- Yes.
- If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes - Doctor? - Is it all right if I go now? - Do you feel fit enough to drive? Oh, fine, yes.
I admit, it did shake me up a little bit, but now that I know he's alive again - He is alive? - Not when I examined him.
Well, alive or not, he's up and about again, isn't he? That's all that matters.
How severe were the man's injuries? The car hit him head-on.
He was thrown 20 feet.
If I hadn't seen him, I'd have said his chances were nil.
Well, if he's hurt that badly, he can't have gone far.
- Well, goodbye, Dr James.
- Dr James! I've killed him.
I've killed him again.
But he was here.
Just there.
I tell you, he was just there.
It looks as though the dear departed has departed.
And not a sign of blood.
Anagram? You're absolutely sure it was the same man? Yes, same man again.
Dead again.
It's ridiculous.
- It's ludicrous.
- It's medically impossible.
- And yet it did happen.
- Twice.
I must say, he seems to be sadly lacking in traffic sense.
Well, what do we do now? Sit and wait for him to be knocked down again? Well, not me.
MOT-NRU must mean something.
I'll do some checking.
Let me know if the body turns up.
Casualty, found unconscious a mile from here.
He'd been attacked.
By a banana? - What happened? - He he hit me.
- Who did? - This man, huge fellow.
He attacked you? And the radio, he smashed the radio.
Well, this looks as nice a place as any.
I say, excuse me, Sergeant, but we are on manoeuvres.
The rest of the battalion With any luck, the rest of the battalion is ten miles away by now.
- Look, we're the forward patrol, right? - Right.
And what was the last thing the Major said to us before we left? - Use your initiative, right? - Right.
Sitting here while the rest go chasing through the mud, that's real initiative, right? - Right.
- Then be a good boy and sit down.
Right.
- Forward patrol.
- Yes, sir.
- What's your position? - We're heading north, sir.
- What's the terrain like? - Pretty tough, but we're ploughing on.
- Good show.
Keep it up, men.
- Yes, sir.
That's initiative.
All right, you can stop now.
I said you ca Hold it.
Hold it! Concussed.
And severely shocked, I'd say.
- What happened? - You won't believe it.
Try us.
We were on manoeuvres and we'd stopped for a rest.
- You were using the radio? - Yes, sir.
- And then this man appeared.
- A big man? Very big? Yes, sir.
He slammed into him and then he came at me, so I shot him.
I had to.
It was self-defence.
He came at me like a mad thing.
- Where have you left him? - I told you, you wouldn't believe me.
He wasn't hurt.
He came right at me.
I could see the bullet holes in his chest.
He took a whole magazine and he wasn't hurt.
- Then he smashed the radio.
- And then? - He walked away.
- Where did he go? Into the forest.
Net.
Quickly.
You know the regulations.
Grade A personnel only.
- But - It's all right.
Everything's ready.
Professor Stone can handle him.
I've had patients who claimed a cast-iron constitution, but this fellow Steed, MOT-NRU stands for Ministry of Technology, Neoteric Research Unit.
Good guess.
I've seen the place.
It's about a mile from here.
- What else did you find out about it? - Not a thing.
- Neoteric? That means - Modern, futuristic, advanced.
The Ministry wouldn't say a word about it.
- What goes on in there, Doctor? - It's a research establishment.
- It's run by a man named Stone.
- Stone? - Professor Frank N Stone.
- I found this at his cottage.
"See George Eccles, Aerial Cottage, serious interference.
" Worth following up.
And I'll see the Professor.
Pass, please, sir.
This way, sir, to your left, please.
I'll need your pass again, sir.
Thank you, sir.
Thank you, sir.
Oh, excuse me, sir.
Dr Penrose, this is Mr Steed.
He's from Security.
Security? Thank you, Carter.
Oh, yes, we've some VIPs arriving next week.
- You're here to - To make sure they're safe and secure.
Perhaps if you wouldn't mind waiting in the Professor's office.
Your security appears to be more than adequate.
I can't recall meeting such stringent precautions.
Very necessary, I assure you.
I'm assured, but I'm curious to know what you're harbouring.
Under the rules covering this establishment, our work may only be discussed with our immediate superiors.
I have only one, Professor Stone.
Ah, that will be him now.
Mr Steed, meet Professor Stone.
A threat to the Queen I cannot allow, Vladimir.
If my plan is to succeed, it is vital to remove her.
Then, comrade, you give me no alternative.
What can you do? You are trapped, surrounded.
That's where you're wrong, comrade.
Bishop to queen's knight four.
Please, I must have time to consider.
- But of course.
- Mr Eccles? Yes? Hello.
- Is that you, Savi? - Indeed, it is me.
- And have you deliberated your move? - I have.
After much thought and prayer, my knight moves to rook six.
Ah, I shall answer with my rook to bishop four.
Goodness gracious me.
- Mr George Eccles? - That's right.
And Mrs Twiggy.
She's quite harmless really.
This is Mrs Peel and I'm quite harmless too.
Yes, well, I'm afraid you've caught me at a rather inopportune moment.
It's my daily chess hour.
There's nothing like chess to improve international relations.
Excuse me.
Hello? Tokyo? - Gleetings, George.
- Gleetings.
I am still luminating.
Luminate all you wish.
- What do you think? - Most implessive.
This is rather fun, isn't it? Come in, Carolina.
- What can I do for you, Mrs Peel? - It's about Professor Stone.
- Carolina calling Eccles.
- Eccles receiving y'all.
Have little ol' you made your little ol' move yet? I was thinking of moving my pawn to bishop five.
OK.
- What about Professor Stone? - You do know him? Of course I know him.
He's been hounding me for months.
- What about? - Interference.
Interference? Interference, downright interference.
Our security arrangements couldn't possibly be tighter.
All the same, I thought perhaps I'd better just check up on you.
- On me? - Well, your establishment.
Do you spend much time in the village? Very little.
Our work is reaching a climax.
I like to be close at hand.
So you don't see your cottage much.
Cottage? Your weekend cottage, Professor.
Oh, yes, of course.
That answers your question, Mr Steed.
It's been so long since I've been there, I've forgotten I ever owned it.
When did you last leave the establishment? Oh, must've been about a month ago.
Really, Mr Steed You haven't been beyond these walls for a month? Professor Stone is a dedicated man, Mr Steed.
May I ask just why it's so important? Well, it could be important.
The Ministers of Science, Technology and Finance are coming here shortly.
We don't want to expose them to risk, so could we go over your security arrangements just once more? Over and out.
- Now, then - Professor Stone.
Ah, yes, the dear Professor.
Said I was interfering with his experiments.
- How? - Using certain radio frequencies.
Said they clashed with a project he was developing.
- Which frequencies? - Oh, about 540 megacycles.
Hardly my territory, though.
Only operates over short distances.
Ah, well, perhaps the Professor was using that waveband.
Could be.
We can easily find out.
Tune in.
Do you mind? She's not very heavy.
Hmm Well, there's something there, but it's very faint.
Can you boost it? We can have a go.
That's about it, Mr Steed.
Our complete security layout.
- What's this section? - That's the experimental section.
- Oh, I'd like to see it.
- That's out of bounds, even to you.
But surely if we came round here we wouldn't be in any Professor? - Are you all right? - Yes.
Yes, it's just a slight headache.
Perhaps you ought to lie down and rest, hm? I'm perfectly all right, thank you.
He suffers from a slight migraine, nothing serious.
You really ought to lie down, sir, rest.
He really ought to.
You won't mind if we continue this discussion at some later date? Not at all.
- Are you sure it's not serious? - Nothing we can't handle.
Quickly, Professor, hurry.
Is that as high as it will go? No, we could cut in another amplifier.
Let's do that.
Quickly, fetch the ambulance.
He's gone again.
No one's using this waveband.
It's a collection of signals and harmonics from other stations.
Then why did Stone complain? Well, if you tune into these high frequencies, it can cause interference.
Affects instruments.
Easy, Twiggy.
- You saw no one? - Just his handiwork.
He disposed of Eccles and wrecked his equipment.
Well, if it is Professor Stone, Jekyll and Hyde.
You say he was identical to our corpse? - Identical.
- How did he behave? Very courteously.
They rolled out the carpet, gave me the full VIP treatment.
- No hint of what was going on? - Not a glimmering.
All very mysterious.
Stone's cottage hasn't been lived in for weeks.
He explained that.
He's residing at the unit.
Sounds believable, but it merits another look.
Thems are my sentiments.
Dr James.
I can assure you that whatever has occurred in the village has got nothing to do with what's happened up here.
- You'll have to convince me.
- I thought we had.
What I mean is, when you were here last.
When I was here last, the Professor was not at his best.
- How are you now, by the way? - I'm fully recovered, thank you.
- No chance of a relapse? - None whatever.
Good, then I can have a look at the experimental section.
I thought I'd made it quite clear Oh, I have official consent.
You can check it if you like.
I see I'll have to lay my cards on the table.
We have had problems here.
Problems which, perhaps foolishly, we have tried to cover up.
But now we have solved them.
There will be no more incidents, I promise you.
I suppose we shall have to show him.
Mr Steed, an inquiry now could put back the entire project.
It could even finish it altogether.
If we can show you the results of our work, if we can convince you that it's perfectly safe, can we rely on your support? Ask me again after you've shown me.
Very well.
If you'll be good enough to come with me.
- Please.
- Thank you.
No, no.
No, Mr Steed, that is not my twin.
That is a machine, what we call a duplicate.
- A robot? - No.
Robots need a master control and men to build them and maintain them.
- What's the difference? - This can repair and recreate itself.
All it needs is power.
It's programmed like a computer with a man's complete memory, his total experience.
It's based on the absorption of electrical impulses, what you would call, I suppose, a brain transfusion.
I see.
By this means, Mr Steed, great minds need never die.
We can preserve not only memory and experience but thought processes as well.
- Is that skin plastic? - And heat resistant.
I utilised new alloys.
It's virtually indestructible.
- Why does it have to look like you? - In my own image, you mean? Vanity, perhaps.
I was the first of the guinea pigs.
Of course, we still have our problems.
The weight, for instance.
And certain radio frequencies affect the circuits.
But this one's nothing to worry about.
I've drained the memory.
It's completely harmless now.
But this one, this is my mark two.
He will be perfect.
Are you quite certain he's securely tucked up? Quite certain, Mr Steed.
So you will appreciate the need for absolute secrecy, Mr Steed.
If we are to preserve our finest minds, in a matter of 10 or 20 years we shall outstrip every other nation.
There will be no limit to our advancement.
I don't relish the idea of permanent politicians.
The duplicates will be carefully selected from amongst the creative fields.
There will be adequate controls.
- Goodbye, Mr Steed.
- Goodbye, Professor.
Oops, excuse me.
This problem of radio frequency appears insoluble.
Nothing is insoluble, Doctor.
I've utilised every technique.
Yes, I'm sure you have.
Perhaps the answer lies in our earlier papers.
Hello? - Hello.
Dr James? - Yes, Mrs Peel.
- Is Steed there? - No, he isn't.
Would you tell him I called? Tell him I'm at Get off! I'll take those, Mrs Peel.
- Oh, Doctor? Any news? - No.
- Did Mrs Peel call by any chance? - As a matter of fact, she did.
- And? - She's gone back to town.
If you're the real one, who's minding the store? - What else did Mrs Peel say? - Just what I've told you.
- She's going back to town.
- But why? - Did she explain why? - Just what I've told you.
Surely surely she must've said something else.
Mr Steed.
Do you know Dr James, Dr Betty James? Yes, she runs the village hospital.
- How well do you know her? - Hardly at all.
Let's put it this way.
How closely have you studied her? Why don't you get to the point? The point is that I have just locked away a replica of Dr James.
- A replica? I don't understand.
- A duplicate.
- An exact duplicate.
- Nonsense.
That model of yours downstairs, the one that you didn't show me.
Who did you duplicate this time? Dr James? No, it was Penrose, as a matter of fact.
The mark two model is his duplicate.
I made it in his image.
Penrose.
Who models the faces, the features? Somebody must do it.
Well, yes, Penrose does.
He has a certain artistic flair.
Penrose! Do you know what's been happening? It isn't Penrose who's assisting you.
It's his duplicate.
- That's quite impossible.
- But it answers so many questions.
I think, perhaps, you'd better let me deal with this.
- Are you sure you can deal with it? - Yes, of course I can.
- You wanted me, Professor? - Yes, Penrose.
Mr Steed wishes to see the brain transfuser in operation.
I told him I was sure you'd be willing to cooperate.
Certainly, Professor.
Would you care to come over here? It's possible to feed the vibrations into the duplicate, or, with a touch of this switch, withdraw them.
Come with me, Mr Steed.
Mrs Peel, Dr James, I do apologise.
I can't tell you how sorry I am.
- I hope you haven't come to any harm.
- Untouched by human hand.
- Do you have a key? - Oh, yes, of course.
I really am extremely sorry.
Dr James.
You have the real Dr Penrose in here.
- And? - And the real Dr James.
And? Remarkable.
Whoever heard of a robot growing a beard? You're a duplicate.
Come on, Doctor! We duplicates are programmed to survive, Mr Steed.
We are programmed to take over.
Your ministers will arrive on their tour of inspection but duplicates will leave, duplicates so perfect they will defy detection.
- Want the latest cricket scores? - Mm-hm.
Frequency 540.
Do you find her attractive? Not a patch on you.
How about him? 'And now, friends, we bring you your number one pop programme' Isn't there anything intellectually stimulating, morally uplifting? Maybe a comment on the rich pageant of life.
Something with warmth, humanity, substance, tragedy, maybe even a touch of humour.
Ah, you mean a political broadcast.
We bring you a political broadcast.
Here is the Minister of Economics.
Good evening.
Tonight I wish to talk to you about the engendered five-year plan for the establishment of industrial sanctions and arbitrations in the north-eastern sector of heavy and light-heavy industries.
I am sure you would all agree, a fascinating topic - You know, we just averted a disaster.
- Eh? Can you imagine plastic politicians? Who would ever know the difference? Cheers.