The Big Door Prize (2023) s02e05 Episode Script

Night Under the Stars

"In conclusion, Shelia's
Fudge And Cheese is downgraded
to three two stars."
Good morning. Ciao, bella.
Oh, my gosh, is that for me?
I don't see any other bing-bang brainiac
who loves lattes and Froot Loops.
Wait, where did you get
these? The colors are so dull.
I imported them from Canada
because I know that the
artificial food coloring
in American Froot Loops hurts
- Hurts my eyes. Giorgio, they're perfect!
- Yep.
Okay, but before you take a
bite, take a look inside the bowl.
Giorgio. [GASPS]
Holy bananas, is this
- A Stanley Cup Championship ring?
- No.
- Oh.
But it's inspired by a Stanley Cup ring,
I had it made special for you
because you deserve the finest ring,
and I can't wait for you to show
it off tonight at the restaurant.
I thought Giorgio's was closed tonight.
Isn't Dusty doing the astronomy
thing with the students?
Yeah, technically, "Night Under
the Stars" is for the students.
But you have an all-access pass
to my restaurant, home and heart.
We're setting up tents
inside the dining room
and we're projecting stars
onto the duomo ceiling.
I reserved the best tent
for you, me and Savannah.
It's gonna be our first
family camping trip.
Oh, man, what's wrong?
Something's wrong I can feel it.
What? No, no, no, no.
Nothing's Nothing's wrong.
Everything's been so, so, so great.
So then what's going on?
I noticed that you slept on your
own side of the bed last night.
I just I wonder if, um
if maybe we should slow things
down a little bit for Savannah.
The first family camping trip just
might be a little fast for her.
No, totally. That's what I thought too.
I also promised Cass that I would
take her out for a girls' night
to support her self-ploration.
But it doesn't mean I'm any
less excited about us. Okay?
I got you, girl. No worries.
[GIORGIO] Okay, what do you think?
Does the sign look better next to
the hostess stand, or by the bar?
Oh, shit, maybe there's a way
that we could suspend
it from the ceiling.
- Yeah, I really don't think it matters, G.
- What? Of course it matters, D!
My future stepdaughter is coming.
This is a big deal for me, okay?
This is not just about
you having a sleepover
with a bunch of random teens.
They're not a bunch of random teens.
This is an educational
event for my students
that I set up and organized.
I even got the star projector.
- I know that, D, it's a co-pro.
- Then why is it your name on the poster?
And why does it say, "Giorgio's Nuts?"
It does not say "Giorgio's Nuts."
[BEAU] Yeah, "Giorgio's Nuts."
I guess it should say,
"Dusty and Giorgio's Nuts."
Or we just scrap the poster.
So, where do I fit in, as Sheriff?
So far, I've located all the exits,
but it seems to me the
threat level is pretty low.
I'm sorry, Beau, I brought
you here for extra security
so that you could guard
Natalie's engagement ring.
But she's not coming. She's
comforting Dusty's estranged wife.
We are not estranged.
We are on good terms.
But, hey, Beau, if you wanna hang out,
we could probably use
an extra chaperone.
Great! Just pop my head into
kids' tents at random times.
Keep 'em on their toes.
- Yeah, don't do that, please.
- Your call.
If you wanna host a teen
sex orgy, that's on you.
- Hi, I'm here for the sex orgy.
Yes, I see that you've
brought your case of orgy
- Yeah. Mmm.
- thangs. [LAUGHS]
You do realize that I haven't played
this in front of anyone in, like,
- a lot of years?
- Oh, you're gonna you're gonna do great.
the things I do for you.
I think we do each other Do
things for each other, Ms. Wickstead.
Look at my boy, D, over there
acting like a schoolboy again.
Ooh, I love it.
Stop it. Stop, will you? Please
don't make comments like that tonight.
Trina's gonna be here, so I
would appreciate your discretion.
Wait, Trina doesn't
know about you and Alice?
There's nothing to know. Alice
and I haven't even, you know
I don't know. I've got,
like, hundreds of scenarios
- running through my head right now.
- Kissed. We haven't even kissed.
What? Why so slow though, D?
- Like, do you not like her or something?
- I do. I do like her.
Didn't Cassie say that
you could see other people?
Actually, Cass said that
we should see other people.
- But she's not.
- That you know of.
[STAMMERS] No What? Okay, stop it.
We are not turning the
whole night into that.
I totally hear you, D.
But if you did wanna make the
plunge tonight, under the stars,
I can't think of a more
romantic atmosphere.
Fire alarm works!
That's why we brought you here, Beau!
Okay, I know it's a bit of a trip,
but trust me, this place is worth it.
We're talking top-shelf
glitz and glamour.
Plus, I know for a fact
we'll get free drinks.
Uh, yeah, we will. Dressed
like this, I mean. [CHUCKLES]
You both look amazing.
Uh, we all look bitchin'. Do
people still say "bitchin'"?
You say "bitchin'," and
I say that's bitchin'!
- I'm not gonna say it, but I support it.
- [NAT LAUGHS] Yeah! Come on!
- [SQUEALS] Oh, excuse us. Oh.
- [CHUCKLES] Oh, sorry.
Um, are we getting free
drinks 'cause this is a casino?
I used to come here with Mikey,
but I remember it being
a lot more bitchin'.
Seems like the clientele tonight
Hi Is a real mixed bag.
I don't know, um,
they got strong drinks and they've
got, like, a tropical theme going on.
[HANA] Yeah, and apparently,
there's a "Magic Mark" show
every 30 minutes.
Okay, well, um, we're here now so,
ladies, this is my first
girls' night out in forever.
- So we should have fun!
- Gamble! [CHUCKLES]
- [STAMMERS] Have fun, yes.
- Yeah.
- Gamble. We can gamble.
- Gam Gamble. Fun. Gamble.
If we wanna have fun,
we can gamble. [CHUCKLES]
Magic Mark is really
gambling with that G-string.
Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.
I have a perfect idea.
Nobody knows who we are here
so we can just pretend
to be different people.
I used to do this in Italy,
all you gotta do is just
make up a new persona.
I love it. Yes, yes! Okay, okay.
Ooh, I will be Susan O'Keefe,
a chain-smoking gambling
addict with a dark past
who's lucky at roulette
but unlucky in love.
- That is surprisingly fully formed.
I love it. I love it. Okay,
I will be Britt
international party girl
who has a different man in every city.
Oh, okay and I'll be Hana,
a bartender who lives
alone and has no friends.
- [NORMAL] Okay, perfect.
- All right.
[AS SUSAN] Come on, girls,
Susan's ready to hit the tables.
I think that bachelorette
party is leaving
- Great. Let's go, let's go.
- [AS BRITT] Bachelorette party?
How charming!
I wish the bride-to-be well on
her marital journey. [CHUCKLES]
But I am Britt, and I never
let one man tie me down.
Okay, hey. This is Susan's goddamn night
and she's ready to
scratch that goddamn itch!
Give me five-hundo in chips, lollipop!
[CASS] Ooh.
[BEAU] Hey, everybody. Come on in. Hi.
Welcome. Welcome to a
"Night Under the Stars."
That's right, baby. Astronomy
Night, by Giorgio and Dusty.
Let's get hyped, y'all.
When I say "stars," y'all
say "galaxies." Stars!
- Galaxies. [CHUCKLES]
Okay, can we calm it down a bit?
Sup, Dad. This is pretty sick.
Yeah? Not so bad, right?
I gotta say, I'm surprised that
so many students are coming.
Giorgio did offer free pizza, so
You see, D? It's a co-pro, let's go.
Hi, Savannah! Hi, honey.
Hey, so I reserved the
best blanket for you.
It's right under the
center of the universe
- because you're the center of my universe.
- Okay.
I am excited to, like,
learn about stuff though.
I never knew you were so into stars.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
And it's amazing what these
little projectors can do now.
- Okay, nerd.
Bully me all you like.
No, I think it's beautiful.
And this music is such a vibe.
Ms. Wickstead's really
wailing on that cello.
You know, it's really nice to see you
so passionate about something, Dad.
What? No, no, no. No, no.
No, I'm not passionate
about Alice, I'm just
I just asked her here to play the music.
I meant astronomy.
- Right. Right.
- Right.
Yeah. Love me them stars.
Oh, my God, Jacob, call the police.
- What? Why?
- Someone stole your socks.
That's a good joke. Worth terrifying me.
What is happening here, sir?
I don't know I just feel like
comfort's pretty crucial these days.
Uh, well, I am pretty uncomfortable
seeing this much of your ankles.
- Come on, you know you love it.
Also, speaking of uncomfortable,
my dad just said something that
was potentially quite disturbing
Jacob! How's Papillon ?
That's fine. We weren't talking.
Trev, what's up?
Yeah, no, I'm not totally
getting all the French,
but the small percentage that
I do understand is, like
[CHUCKLES] it's revelatory.
Sorry, why is Trevor here?
Wait, I'm just trying to
place this piece of music.
- It's Holst.
- It's Holst.
- [JACOB] Mmm.
- It's "Jupiter," from The Planets.
We play this in band.
Yeah, it's kind of pop-classical.
Okay, uh, are we still
sharing a blanket?
Or do you wanna gaze at the
stars with your twin here?
Well, it would make more sense
to look at the actual stars,
especially since it's
a blood moon tonight.
The blankets are pretty big.
Maybe we could all sit together?
Hello, everybody.
Fellow stargazers and the sky-curious.
I am Mr. Hubbard, your history teacher.
But tonight, I will be your
tour guide through the night sky.
Hit the lights, Rita.
- [GASPS] Wow.
Actually, most of the light
that we get from the stars
was created hundreds of years ago.
So when we gaze up, we
are looking into history.
This looks incredibly fake.
Now, I need to operate this
projector, so I have enlisted
- the wonderful Father Reuben
- Oh.
to do our narration
this evening. Father Reuben.
- Whoo!
Smart. Because Father Reuben's
voice is so deep, it sounds like God.
It's really good casting.
Thousands of years ago, when Homo
sapiens first began to look up,
they observed connections between
the world above and the world below.
But let's start close
to home. Our home
- Deerfield.
- the Milky Way.
Here we go.
- No. Oh, shit.
Mr. Hubbard, what did you
do? It was just getting good.
I think it's it's Pretty sure
it's just a just an input issue.
Technology has failed us.
Quelle surprise.
- Dad, do you need help?
- No, we're good. We're goo
You know what? We're gonna take
a pause just while we sort it out.
- All right.
- Rita, can you get the houselights?
- Thank you.
Hey, I think we might go
look at the actual stars.
Jacob, I feel like I've
barely seen you recently.
To be fair, isn't that
kind of what you asked for?
I'm sorry, what?
Yeah, I didn't tell him that.
I I don't need to go. I
don't have to see a blood moon.
You don't have to see a blood moon?
[SAVANNAH] I wanna see a blood moon.
No, no. You don't
Blood moons suck. No.
You know [STAMMERS]
I have an announcement to make.
- Who wants fresh hot pizza?
- Oh, I do.
[GIORGIO] All right. Excuse me.
I'm just gonna go. I'll
be right back. [KISSES]
- You want a slice? Okay.
- I'll take one slice.
[AS SUSAN] Come on, red, give it
to me, red, red mama, no drama.
Red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red.
Seventeen, black.
- Fucking balls nuts! Shit.
- [NORMAL] Oh, my God, I won!
- [AS BRITT] I won.
[NORMAL] Wait, you won? That's so lucky.
[NORMAL] Seventeen, baby! My
baby girl Trina's birthday. Whoo!
- Trina's your daughter?
[AS BRITT] Do you have
a problem with that, huh?
Just because Britt
parties hearty, honey,
doesn't mean that she can't
have her own baby girls. [LAUGHS]
I mean, I have so many baby girls,
in fact, I can't even keep track.
I've got a baby girl in every port!
I feel like you're
losing your character.
- Mmm. probably.
[NORMAL] Hey, Susan, don't you wanna
bet on something other than red?
[AS SUSAN] Nah, Susan's
got a system, okay?
[NORMAL] I put all my money on red,
and then if I lose, I
double my bet, also on red.
And then, if I lose again,
I double my bet again.
And I just keep going
and doubling my bet
and I literally can't lose.
But you are losing, like, a lot.
- Yeah, you definitely can lose.
- [AS SUSAN] No, I can't!
[GRUNTS] It's a tested system, okay?
[NORMAL] I read a book.
Hey, did you know that we were
going to be gambling tonight?
Susan's whole life is a goddamn
gamble. You know what I mean?
Now come on, sweet nips, give
her a spin, huh? Show me some red.
[AS BRITT] This reminds me of a time
in Monte Carlo, which is one of
- What about you? What's your story?
- Okay.
I'm Hana.
- Twenty-six, black. -
[NORMAL] Fucking what?
This game is frigging rigged.
Sorry, ladies, I actually
need to shut down the table.
[AS SUSAN] Why? Why? Why?
'Cause I'm out of chips?
- I can get more chips.
- Uh, no,
I just have something I need
to, um [CLEARS THROAT] do.
You're Magic Mark, aren't you?
[CHUCKLES] Um, a magician
never reveals his secrets.
But, um, yes.
Okay, you listen up, Magic Mark.
You get up there, you
shake your candy ass.
You give 'em the old razzle-dazzle,
and then you get right
back here, you hear?
Now where is the ATM?
No, I don't [NORMAL] I-I
don't think that's a good idea.
No, a good idea would be to
get your paws off my mitts.
Susan needs a cigarette
and a bourbon, hot.
I don't work here.
I think your friend has a problem.
[ALICE] Okay, so here's a little
button that's blinking green.
- So maybe if you just
- Whoa.
- Oh!
- Look at that.
- Wow.
- We fixed it. [CHUCKLES]
- Yeah, "we"? Okay. [CHUCKLES]
And nobody here to appreciate it.
I'm here.
You know, I don't want to be hyperbolic,
but I think that maybe you're
my favorite cello player now.
- [ALICE] Wow.
- Yeah, top five anyway.
Why, thank you. [CHUCKLES]
You know, it's funny.
Even now when I play,
I can still hear my
parents' voices in my head
just telling me not to fuck up.
You didn't fuck up.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. I did. [CHUCKLES]
Well, I didn't notice.
But then I was too busy
ruining everybody else's night.
No way. No. Look at how
much fun they're having.
Kids are dumb. They always
look like they're having fun.
Well, I'm having fun.
Oh, that was amazing.
Hey, hey. Look at mine, look
at mine. Mine's still sticking.
- Oh, you're a legend, Mr. Kovac.
- Yeah.
Well, I've been slinging panna
cottas since before you were born.
Trina, this game's so fun.
Where's Jacob? He's gotta try it.
Um, hmm.
He's hanging out with his new friend
and not responding to my texts.
[SHOUTS] No! What the hell are
you doing with my panna cotta?
This is really fun.
Really? Okay. Yes.
I love it. Good throw.
Everybody have fun on Big Papa
G. Go ahead, get some more.
- There's a bunch in the fridge.
Go ahead, bro.
Hey, Sav, can I talk to you for a sec?
Sure. What's up?
Your mother mentioned
that our relationship might
be moving too fast for you.
And I just wanted to say that I am here
to slowly but surely prove to you,
beyond the shadow of a doubt, that
I am worthy of being your stepdad.
- I don't have a problem with you.
- You don't?
No. Your house is dope and
you gave me a Kia Sportage.
"Spor-tage." In custom aquamarine.
But wait, wait. Then w
Why did your mom say we
needed to slow down for you?
Maybe she wants to slow down herself?
I used to love field trips
when I was in high school.
Yeah. I just remember
it being so exciting,
you know, to be with
all my friends at night.
- You know, like anything could happen.
- Mmm.
- Oh.
- Hello, Giorgio's playlist.
- [LAUGHING] This song.
My goodness. This is
such a make out song.
- Mm-hmm.
- I've heard.
Yeah. You know, I almost had
my first kiss to this song.
- Almost?
- Mm-hmm.
It was this kid, Sammy B., and
I had such a big crush on him.
And we were playing spin the
bottle, and it landed on me.
yeah. He just couldn't do it.
Yeah. It was humiliating. [GIGGLES]
Men are cowards.
- D! Yo, D! I have to talk to you.
- Oh Oh, my
- Uh
- G G-Giorgio,
I'm just in the middle of something,
almost. How can I help you, pal?
Oh, shit. My dog sitter's
called, like, seven times.
Uh [EXHALES] yeah.
Um, part of this whole
go-with-the-flow thing
is, um, I took in a stray.
She has bad separation anxiety
and she's not good on her own.
- So I should probably go.
- That poor dog.
Yeah, um, okay. Bye. [CHUCKLES]
Give her a big kiss from me.
Yo, sorry, D. I actually waited a minute
because it looked like you
were maybe gonna kiss Alice.
- Mmm.
- And then you didn't.
How can I help you, Giorgio?
I need your advice about Natalie.
Come on. Gather the troops.
We're gonna talk about our
emotions around the fire
just like the cavemen did.
Let's go.
What? How can I be over my limit?
- I'm the only one who knows my limit.
- Hey. Hey, hey.
- Nat, hey. Hey, sweetie.
- Uh, let's maybe get you away from that
- Mm-hmm.
- okay?
I think we've had enough
of Susan for tonight.
Right. That's That's enough.
That's enough, guys. [CHUCKLES]
Okay. You haven't even put
money in that. Stop it. Stop.
[CASS] Okay, just
Let's get you seated.
Let's get you, uh,
some space on the couch.
Get rid of some of these
dildos out of the way. Oof.
Snagged us a bottle of wine.
I think it's from the Magic Mark show.
It's a "Penis Grigio."
Okay. That is perfect.
Uh, Nat. All right. Penis down.
Come on, Nat. What's going on?
Giorgio gave me this ring today.
I've been shy about wearing it. But
- Is that
- Wow.
Loosely inspired by a real
Stanley Cup Championship ring? Yes.
He said nothing's too good for me.
But the truth is, I'm
not good enough for him.
I'm in debt, guys. Like, a lot of debt.
Oh, Nat.
When Mikey and I broke up,
the only thing that made me
feel better was online shopping.
And I-I got really carried away.
And I've been too embarrassed
to tell anyone about it.
And then yesterday, I finally
got my vision from the MORPHO.
[NAT] There were all these
packages falling down on me.
And I was trying to outrun them,
but they just kept falling,
faster and faster
- which is exactly what debt feels like.
And then finally I was crushed.
Which is how I'll feel
if Giorgio leaves me.
He might leave me when
he finds out the truth.
And that's why I was
trying to gamble my way out.
This is me saying this, by the
way. I'm not Susan anymore. I'm Nat.
- That was super clear. Yeah.
- Oh, yeah, we got that.
I got my vision today.
And it was me, little Giorgio,
loading plates of
spaghetti onto gondolas.
[GIORGIO] But then the gondolas
started moving faster and faster.
And then more and more
plates kept coming
until finally I was missing the gondolas
and dropping plates left and right.
So what do you think it means?
It definitely scraps my plans to
have a gondola pasta delivery system.
On a deeper level, I think that it
means that if I take on too much,
I'm gonna mess things up.
Like, I'm already a restauranteur,
a pillar of the community,
a best friend to Big D,
and now I'm a stepdad and
a lover/fiancée to Natalie,
and she thinks I'm moving too fast.
But moving fast is how I
keep the plates in the air.
- It's the only way I know how to be.
- It's all relative though.
I mean, you say that
you're moving too fast.
Maybe somebody else thinks
that they're moving too slowly.
Everyone has to move at their
own pace. That's the point, right?
Right. I mean, my wife
died three years ago.
And I'm still not ready
to get back on the horse.
Three years? That's so long, bro.
It's not that long.
I guess not. Look at D.
He needs three years just to kiss
a woman. His wife didn't even die.
- Come on, man.
I would have kissed a woman
tonight if it wasn't for you.
D, we could've waited till these
teens were full-blown adults
and you wouldn't have kissed her.
That's true. Why is that?
I don't know. You had a
beautiful and talented young woman
- in hot pursuit, bro.
- Yeah, but why?
Why is there a beautiful young woman
in hot pursuit of a middle-aged potato?
[STAMMERS] Stop it.
No, I can't even with you
right now. We're being serious.
You're married to Cassie,
one of the top two most
beautiful women in town.
And you are a solid eight, D. Like,
am I wrong? Tell me if I'm wrong.
- You're very handsome.
- Yeah. Women like tall men.
Good skin, good physique.
Good sense of humor.
Interesting face.
if you could see yourself
the way that the men
around this campfire see you,
you would be so turned on right now.
The only thing holding you back is you.
Can you just come back, please?
Or, like, let me know where you
are so that I can come to you.
The grown-ups are having a share
circle around a fake campfire
and people are just going home, so
[DUSTY] Hey, Alice. Hold on.
Oh, God. Did I forget
something? [CHUCKLES]
No. I just I wanted to give you this.
Thanks for taking the lead.
I'm so sorry you felt you
couldn't share this with me.
- Hey.
Nothing you say would ever
change how I feel about you.
But what if Giorgio's feelings change?
They won't. If he loves you, they won't.
Well, they might.
[CASS STAMMERS, SIGHS] Yeah, they might.
- [SIGHS] Oh, God.
- They might, but hey, hey.
That's the gamble.
That's relationships.
It's a deal you make with someone
based on who you are at the time.
And if you ever surprise someone
with new information about yourself,
that's the new deal.
And they, they can either
accept who you are now
[HANA] Or not.
And that's okay too. You know?
Like, let's just say I'm
someone who, you know,
because of my fucked-up childhood
has only dated men who are
emotionally or literally unavailable.
And then I start flirting with
/dancing with/making out with a priest,
the most unavailable
person humanly possible.
And then he's like, "Hey, maybe I
don't want to be a priest anymore."
And I'm like, okay, that's a new deal.
Well, what the fuck is that about?
- Is that you?
- That's a very specific example.
Okay. The point is [SIGHS]
if you really want
to be with someone,
you both have to be willing
to roll with the changes
and trust that you'll make
it out on the other side.
Now what would you do if Giorgio
told you that he was in debt?
I would sell my goddamn soul for him.
Good. So just tell him the truth.
And tell me how that goes. I'm gonna
go have a drink with Magic Mark.
[BOTH] Oh!
- Okay. Have fun.
- That's nice. [CHUCKLES]
- I'm really glad she's our friend.
I'm just gonna go hit the
roulette table one more time
No. Susan's cut off.
Hey. Just saw that you
called. Is everything okay?
Yeah. Everything is fucking great.
I just watched my dad
make out with my teacher.
At my place of work. At a
school event. And meanwhile,
my boyfriend is out
gazing at the fucking stars
with his boyfriend Trevor.
I'm so sorry, Trina. I
immediately regretted leaving.
I don't even like Trevor, and
there isn't even a blood moon,
which Trevor says is probably
because the sky is a projection
made by the government.
- Fuck that guy. He sucks.
- I know. He sucks.
- He fucking sucks, for sure.
- I hate him.
But I think he was giving me attention
that I was sadly really craving.
And I know I've been
clingy with you. But
[CHUCKLES] I don't really like
hanging out with anyone who isn't you.
Well, I don't really like hanging
out with anyone who isn't you.
I think that we both
need each other right now,
and that's okay.
- Oh. Oh, my God.
[GIORGIO] "Looking at the stars
can be an overwhelming experience.
When you truly take in the
vast and endless universe,
it's hard not to feel
insignificant and alone.
But I always take comfort,
my fellow stargazers,
when I zero in on star clusters.
If galaxies are like
communities of stars,
then clusters are like families."
Oh, man. D is such a good writer.
I'll just be a minute, okay?
[GIORGIO] "The stars in a cluster
are bound to each other by gravity.
Like it or not, they travel
through the universe together."
[NATALIE] Giorgio.
- Natalie.
I don't want to slow down.
I'll go as fast as you want.
But you need to know, I'm not perfect.
I have a lot of debt,
and if that's a deal-breaker,
we can part as friends.
Natalie Pearl, I wouldn't
part with you for anything.
- Oh.
- Me and you are like stars, baby.
We're bound to each
other. We're a family.
And we're really fucking hot.
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