The Big Leap (2021) s01e01 Episode Script

I Want You Back

1 - And if you're going in - ANNOUNCER: Wow! Returning champs Dolores Huerta High School are crushing this! And I won't stop now ANNOUNCER: That's Gabby Lewis.
The heart and soul of this team.
She's got a bright future, heading off to NYU on a dance scholarship.
LUDACRIS: And I'm on this foolish track So I spit my foolish flow ANNOUNCER: She choreographed this routine with Justin Calgrove.
- SINGER: Whoo! - ANNOUNCER: Wow! We're expecting big things from these two.
LUDACRIS: Last time on the Khaled remix Now I'm on the original version Can't never count me out Y'all better count me in T-PAIN: Every time I step up in the building Everybody hands go up [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
And they stay there And they say yeah, and they stay there SINGER: Up, down, up, down I love you.
You were everything.
I love you too.
You were fire.
You were the sun.
You were Super Bowl Beyoncé.
How does she not know he's gay? How does he not know he's gay? Honey, you were so good.
Wow, your boobs look amazing.
- Mom.
- GINA: What? It's the benefit of being curvy.
I can't believe she's leaving.
Oh, I'll take good care of her at NYU.
You said I could have the house tonight, right? Yes.
I'll be back at 1:00.
No drinking.
SINGER: I don't care! I love it I don't care! You and Justin.
I'm curious.
I mean, you two have been together for so long.
- How's the sex? - Can I tell you something? - You two haven't had sex? - How'd you know? He said that he wanted to wait so it would be special.
You know, that all tracks.
And there's something else.
We took a break over Christmas.
There was this guy.
- [GASPS.]
- It was one time.
I'm empty.
I have more in my room.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
You had actual sex.
That's great.
One time, but it really just convinced me that Justin is my soul mate.
Gabby, Gabby.
Gabby, wait.
No, no, no, please.
So we were always going to have this conversation.
I just thought it would happen earlier.
- JUSTIN: Gabby, Gabby, Gabby! - Ooh, what happened? Justin's finally gay.
Justin's finally gay? Oh, thank God.
You guys, Justin's gay now.
- PERSON: Finally! Are you okay? Get out! Wait, why are you throwing up? - You only had one drink.
- Get out! Gabs, I'm so sorry.
It just happened, but I love you, and I'll never do it again, I promise.
Except for my dreams.
I can't control my dreams.
- Get out! - JUSTIN: Okay! Gabby, I don't know why I did that.
You know, my therapist says - I use sex as power, but - Get out! Girl, I don't know who you think you talking to.
So Christmas break guy.
He used protection, right? [UPBEAT MUSIC.]
Sam! Sam, we can't be late again.
Come on, we got to go.
Come on.
Mom! That's, like, a brick of sugar.
I know, honey.
That's why I didn't give it to you.
Oh, my God.
Every morning? Tampered.
You know this one.
SAM: Tampered.
You are so ready! You have the best day ever, okay? [SCHOOL BELL RINGS.]
JULIA: Sometimes the universe really is trying to tell us something.
I'll give you an example.
Last week, I was mid-warrior three pose, hmm, when in walks the most beautiful, perfect woman in her 20s.
Well, I literally toppled over.
So what is the lesson here, ladies? Compare and despair.
You know, as a former ballet dancer, I should know this, right? Aging is a-a wonderful, wonderful journey.
We've worked hard to create these beautiful, loving Mom, where is my frickin' backpack? Is this another post about how great it is to be old? Okay, we don't use the O-word in this house, and I'm helping an entire community of women feel less alone.
Are you sure you're not helping an entire community of women feel like crap? Your backpack is on the hook where it always is.
KEVIN: Good morning, family.
Good morning.
Working from home today? Yep, all day in my office.
Please do not disturb.
I'm on a deadline.
Hey, girls, do you need me to make cupcakes for No, we don't need anything.
Feel free to live your life.
Bye! - Have a good day.
SCOTT: You have a relevance problem.
Do you know what I mean when I say that? You're calling me old? [BOTH LAUGH.]
I didn't say that.
- Don't put words in my mouth.
- Okay.
I'm saying that you're competing with influencers who have existed for less time.
Okay, I may have lost followers.
You're losing sponsors.
Try something new.
A face-lift or a divorce.
Are I'm so sorry.
Are you offended? Are you crying? MIKE: Okay.
Let's set an intention, a goal.
70 to 75 RPM on two and one and two.
Now close your eyes.
Now I want you to imagine someone you love more than anyone in the world.
And I want you to imagine that that person is trying to leave you.
Are you gonna let that person leave? - ALL: No.
- No! Because that is your wife.
You made a commitment in front of 150 people.
A wedding, by the way, that we're still paying off.
I wanted to do an intimate wedding, and she wanted all her cousins, and she has so many cousins, and a lot of them aren't great.
Okay, guys.
Elbows in, wrists relaxed.
This is deranged.
You need help.
And stop saying I got fired! It's not accurate.
The auto industry shipped my job to Mexico, and there was a global pandemic from a bat.
A bat killed all of our grandparents.
How is that my fault? Any hands? No? Then in that case, let's go to shoulder rolls.
Yes? So I got fired from my spin class.
Have you read that Brené Brown book I gave you? She writes a lot about vulnerability and letting go.
You know what I hear when you say that? "Give up.
" That's not me.
I'm getting my life back.
That life is not coming back, Mike.
The factory is closed.
Paige is gone.
No, she's not.
She just needs room.
It's a trial separation.
We're not even seeing other people.
But you're dealing with a lot right now.
We're trying to say we're worried.
We're concerned you're at sea.
We're not gonna stand here and watch you kill yourself, man! - Whoa! - What's the matter with you? Guys hey, hey, hey! He's got those sad eyes and everything! My eyes are fine! I'm fine! No, I don't want a hug.
So okay.
What do you say we go cobble together a paycheck? [UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC.]
Okay, all buckled in? We can always stop and get more.
Guys, do you have a shortcut you want me to use? Instacart.
They were out of Merlot.
- Alan? - ALAN: Yeah, hi.
- Uh, this is us.
- NICK: Oh, this is us? Oh, that's great.
I love riding in the backseat of a compact sedan from 2001.
The broken heater and wet dog hair comes standard.
NICK: Never in the history of television has an executive producer been left behind to die at a location, Alan.
I thought you were in the lead van! You th I'm gonna push you out of this car.
JESSICA: They can move the Zoom 15 minutes, but they're worried about turnout and want to add that to the agenda.
Well, how is that my fault? They dropped me in Detroit three days ago to save a stupid dance show, and last thing Alan.
Alan, that that is too much hand sanitizer.
Do I need to reach in and flip a breech baby later? - I'm sorry.
- Is that on the prep schedule? I just want a normal amount, Alan.
And why do you have the boom? Why does sound not have the boom? Gary asked me to hold it.
And then what happened? Then I lost Gary.
Jessica, switch places with me, or I'm going to do murder.
No, no, no.
- Not safe.
NICK: I've got hand sanitizer all over my leg now.
Well, this is it.
We are here.
This is the opera house.
Oh, hey.
The posters are up.
What do you think? The woman in the wheelchair is a little much.
No, it's perfect.
Very moving.
Emotional, right? Good.
BARB: Gabby Lewis, guess what.
You're getting a promotion to project manager! You don't seem that excited.
Oh, I am.
Thank you.
It's just You know, I have always thought of you as the next me.
Holy crap.
So it's a dance reality show.
It's called The Big Leap.
What does that have to do with you? Well, I'm gonna audition.
It's for amateur dancers.
- No.
- Why would you do that? Yeah, why would you do that? 'Cause they want regular people.
All styles of dance welcome.
Auditions are Monday.
Since when are you a dancer? My mom ran a dance studio.
Did you ever take classes? Whatever.
I absorbed it.
Wait a minute, is this an elimination show? Actually, no.
It's not an elimination show.
They pick a dance company of 20 people, and then they create something together.
Sounds like a train wreck.
That's the thing.
It's very positive.
And it all builds to a live performance of Swan Lake, which is, you know It's very scary, but also very exciting.
It's a grand gesture.
- This is how I get Paige back.
ANTHONY: You lost me there, man.
I withdraw my support.
Don't you see? This could change my whole life.
Are you sure? Remember when Ryan Locker dropped you dropped you during cheerleading tryouts? [LAUGHS.]
I literally think about it every day, but thank you for checking.
Maybe it's not too late for me to dance again.
This is the dumbest thing I've ever heard of.
I'm doing the show, and I'm getting my wife back.
I'm going for it.
Really? By yourself? No.
Not by myself.
What are you I found out you work here on Instagram.
I just came to say hi.
You just came to say hi after seven years of not speaking to me? Yeah.
Well, no.
There is this reality show for amateur dancers.
Audition with me.
Justin, got a ball jam on nine.
Yeah, okay.
I'll be right there.
I called you so many times.
I thought you hated me.
Who is that? That is my son, Sam.
Say hi, Sam.
- Is he mine? - GABBY: What? Are you so gay now that you don't know how babies are made? We never had sex, remember? Ball's not unjamming itself, buddy.
Bruce, we're already in hell.
It's not an emergency.
I'm coming.
Just so you know, I'm not I mean, this isn't a permanent job.
Things are a little hard out there without a degree.
I'm not judging.
I never made it to college either.
What happened with you? I came out to my dad.
He kicked me out.
Said he wouldn't help with college.
Haven't spoken since.
Which you would know if you just called me back.
I'm sorry, okay? I-I was pregnant and scared and ashamed and depressed, and I just I couldn't be anybody's friend.
But I'm here now.
SINGER: Loving you Can I ask you something? Are you happy? I work at a bowling alley.
Okay, so maybe we're both living the wrong lives, and and this show could be a creative rebirth for us.
- A what? - A creative rebirth.
I can't have a creative rebirth right now.
I've got a ball jam.
Please don't be dancing.
Junior year.
Partners final.
You and me.
I know you remember.
Justin! I need that lane! You look like the biggest dork right now.
It's how much I love you.
TSHAWE: Put your loving hand out, baby Beggin', beggin' you Put your loving hand out, darling Riding high, when I was king Played it hard and fast 'cause I had everything Walked away, wondering then But easy come and easy go, and it would end YOSEF: So, ah, any time I need ya, let me go Any time I feed ya, get me low Any time I see ya, let me know But I planted that seed, just let me grow - I'm on knees while I'm - TSHAWE: Beggin' - YOSEF: 'Cause I don't wanna lose - TSHAWE: You YOSEF: I got my arms so spread I hope that my heart get fed Matter of fact, girl, I'm beggin' - TSHAWE: I need you - YOSEF: Yeah TSHAWE: To understand Tried so hard to be your man The kind of man you want in the end Only then can I begin to live again Beggin', beggin' you Put your loving hand out, darling [PINS CLATTER.]
- Whoa.
- Wow.
Hello, Detroit! We're here.
We're back.
We came through a nightmare, and now we get to be together again.
Raise your hand if you are sick of dancing like nobody is watching.
I see you.
When I went to New York, they told me I didn't have the training to be a ballet dancer.
So I worked my ass off, and three years later, I was a principal dancer at the American Ballet Theater because I demanded a second chance for myself, like I'm demanding a second chance for you.
We are gonna dance like everybody is watching.
He's good.
Not too earnest.
I like him.
WAYNE: We are gonna take the big leap! Is it the right title? Should we go with Dance Your Heart Out? We should go with Career-Ending Diaper Fire.
Save that for the camera, sister.
WAYNE: Audition in any style you want today.
40 of you will advance, and of those people, they will partner dance, then we will pick 20 people, and that will be The Big Leap Dance Company.
- Are you ready? - [CROWD CHEERING.]
I said, "Are you ready?" ALL: Yeah! Hey! That was just great.
Couple of things.
We're looking for personality.
Crazy is not a bad thing.
I thought we were trying to find great dancers.
All we're going to find is type 2 diabetes.
She's gonna test through the roof.
- What is happening right now? - Move him along.
- Okay, stop.
Thank you.
- WAYNE: Next.
No! Oh, shoot me.
WAYNE: You did the best you could.
See, look, I made her go away.
Thank you.
Oh, that just gave me a UTI.
Is she giving me a curse? - WAYNE: Thank you.
- MONICA: We're good.
- Hello.
- Hello.
Uh, um, I'm Mike Devries.
- Yeah, bro! Mike! Mikey! - Hey, Mike! Oh, my God.
JAMIROQUAI: Ooh, yeah Oh World we're living in Let me tell ya And it's a wonder men can eat at all When things are big that should be small Who can tell what magic spells We'll be doing for us? And I'm giving You go, disenfranchised white male.
Get a camera on his schlubby friends back there.
JAMIROQUAI: I can't see I can't breathe No more will we be And nothing's gonna change the way we live 'Cause we can always take but never give - And now that things - WAYNE: Fantastic.
You're advancing.
Okay! - Come on, Mike! - Hey! WAYNE: Wonderful.
Yes, yes.
I feel a second chance coming on.
Oh, no, no, sorry.
I can't do another Spider-Man.
How many Spider-Men are there in Detroit? Apparently a lot.
JAMIROQUAI: Futures made of virtual insanity Now, always seem to We can't believe we're gonna say this, but you're going through.
- Yes! - Yes! Congratulations! Next.
JAMIROQUAI: Futures made of You're going through.
JAMIROQUAI: Now always seem to Be governed by this love we have Now, that is a ticket I am willing to pay.
You are advancing.
Yes, yes.
I love the meter maid.
She had breast cancer last year.
She almost died.
That's good Breast cancer always plays.
- It's not enough.
- Sorry.
- Why is this so hard? - I'm so sorry.
JAMIROQUAI: Twisting, poppin' new technology Oh, now there is no sound What's your name? Do you have a Broadway background? Paula Clark.
I was a musical theater major in college.
- Welcome back.
- Hi, I'm Brittney Lovewell.
- Simon Lovewell.
Married couple team.
- No, no, we're siblings.
- We're twins.
Uh, twintastic.
Show me what you got.
JAMIROQUAI: Of our new technology And now there is no sound For we all live underground I feel like they're gonna kiss.
I don't want to see it, but I can't look away.
JAMIROQUAI: Oh, now there's nothing that we live in Call research and see how incest plays in the Midwest.
Whenever you're ready.
Oh, finally! A ballet dancer.
JAMIROQUAI: A foolish mind She is the exact average age of our viewer.
JAMIROQUAI: Virtual insanity Is what we're living in Yeah, yeah It's all right WAYNE: Absolutely beautiful.
- It was nice.
- She was wonderful.
- MONICA: Well yes.
- Congratulations.
- You're moving through.
- Thank you so much.
- Okay, is ballet boring? - I love the ballet.
All right, name one ballet dancer.
- Natalie Portman's husband.
- What's his name? - Okay.
- WAYNE: Next.
I'm Raven Price.
I'm an exotic dancer and adult-film actress.
I have a new movie coming out.
It's my first fan bang, just in time for the holidays.
SINGER: I'm on fire for you I'm hypnotized by what you do That's a lot of baby powder.
SINGER: You're like my favorite dream I watch you over and over again NICK: I love her.
Guys, hey, I love her.
She's in.
- Oh, gosh.
- Next.
MONICA: If I got in a car crash, could Do you think I could get out of my contract? [MADCON'S "BEGGIN'" PLAYING.]
TSHAWE: I need you to understand Tried so hard to be your man The kind of man you want in the end Only then can I begin to live again An empty shell, I used to be [GASPS.]
- JUSTIN: Are you okay? - GABBY: Yeah.
J-just give us a second.
Justin, you were excellent.
You're advancing.
Gabby, I'm sorry, but this is the end of the road for you.
- JUSTIN: Gabby - It's okay.
It's okay.
I'm so happy for you, okay? MONICA: Five and six and seven and eight.
It's a simple partner dance.
I took all the ballet out of this.
I cannot dumb it down for you any further.
Don't want to see that in here.
Watch the stripper back, please.
I prefer the term "sex worker.
I started dancing when I was six years old.
I worked until my feet bled.
I spent six years in the corps before I became a prima ballerina.
Didn't get my period until I was 30.
You guys you just rolled out of bed this morning, ate a bowl of cheese, and now you get to dance in front of millions of people.
We're building to a live performance of Swan Lake, and you're too stupid to be nervous.
I'm nervous now.
Shut up! - [NICK LAUGHS.]
- MONICA: Again! I'm turned on and terrified at the same time.
Listen, I just got off a Zoom with the network.
A little worried about the lack of star power.
Reggie Sadler.
Tight end for the Detroit Lions.
He's on the wrong side of 30.
Plus, he just got suspended from his third DUI.
Here, check him out.
REGGIE: Telling me I can't play.
- I can play! - TEENAGER: Guys.
This is Reggie Sadler wasted on a football field.
- It's so sad.
- Watch the pizza.
- REGGIE: Touchdown! - NICK: Spike! Look at those moves.
Look at that potential.
You see the dancing? And then he gets angry at the camera guy, and he might hit him.
It's not important, but he's good.
- No way.
- I know.
That's what I said.
He's never gonna do this, but he lost all his endorsements.
Twitter is mad as hell at him because he called Michelle Obama's ass fat.
No one wants to touch him.
We got a meeting with him tomorrow.
MONICA: Wake up! There are people who would kill to be here! GINA: I'm so sorry.
Sammy! What happened? He got a really hard word.
Who even knows what that means? I peed my pants.
We have to move! Sam, it stinks, but life is about coming back from a punch.
You got to keep getting up, no matter how many times you get kicked in the teeth.
Sam, I want you to run to the vending machine.
We need some chocolate, okay? Go back to the show.
Tell them they made a mistake.
Get a second chance.
I had my second chance, Mom, and I blew it.
I know your depression is telling you terrible things about yourself and your future, but your depression is a liar.
I love you so much.
You deserve a little more in life, honey.
Go get it.
All right, uh, this group's released for today.
Thank you.
Oh, you're reading Brené Brown.
That's impressive for a guy.
Um, yeah, no, a friend gave it to me.
Oh, you have a friend Also impressive for a guy.
Even more impressive, I'm reading it in French.
- Really? - No! What? - [CHUCKLES.]
- MIKE: You bought that? PAULA: That book helped me so much.
MIKE: Really? How so? I had this big corporate job, and then I got sick.
She helped me realize it was time to quit.
- Is everything okay? - Oh, yeah.
I'm more worried about getting cut in there.
Everyone else is so fresh and I'm all like Shuffle, ball, change Stop, you're great.
You know, my mom loves musicals.
You know, I can do a poor man's Gene Kelly here.
Does this poor man's Gene Kelly have a broken foot? Wow, see, I should be offended, but I feel like it's coming from a place of jealousy.
So how about a little, uh, Singin' in the Rain? Oh, here comes the rich man's Debbie Reynolds.
Oh, wow.
We're committing, huh? SINGER: Luck ain't got nothin' to do with it I see what's going on.
- Here I go.
- Wow.
Are we actually in a musical right now? So those two? He was laid off from his auto factory job.
She worked for the same company Vice President of Restructuring.
So she fired him.
He has no idea, and now they're cutely flirting and dancing on a fire escape.
Why are we not filming this? Hey, guys, what do you think we're doing here? - Come on.
- MIKE: Nice.
- That's pretty good.
- Permission to smack your foot? - Go ahead.
Coming up.
- Going down.
- PAULA: Going up.
- MIKE: Going across.
Let's snap.
- Let's do that.
- Okay.
I feel like you're more of a reader than a dancer.
The funny thing is, I actually can't read either.
All right, then, now watch me play.
- PAULA: Yeah.
- MIKE: One hand, throw up and PAIGE: Mike? Paige.
That's gre okay.
Um, this is my, uh, wife.
- He said wife? - JESSICA: Uh-huh.
Oh, it's a gift from God.
I want one on her I'm trying to patch things up, uh - PAULA: Uh-huh.
- MIKE: With her and, uh Whoa, hey.
It's crazy that you are Hi.
How are you? - MIKE: Good, good.
- What is all this? This is a reality dance show that I'm doing.
How are you Who's who's this guy? I thought we weren't seeing other people.
I'm Patrick.
I-I heard a lot about you.
- Maybe I should go.
- No.
What? This is amazing.
Hey, come here.
Come here.
You stay.
I need you here because, uh, triangle, okay? MIKE: Is he in wealth management? Mike, don't start Don't even start this crap.
I never said I wasn't seeing other people.
- You made that up! - We can keep this friendly, right? Patrick, nobody's talking to you, man, so Easy.
Can I get you to sign this? It's the release.
Oh, I-I don't want to be on reality TV.
- So, no, thank you.
- You want to talk about this? Let's talk about it.
Give me the paper.
- Yes, here we go.
- MIKE: Don't do that.
Just one initial there and sign right at the bottom.
Maybe we can take a walk around the block That's great.
Carry on, please.
Okay, you got laid off.
You think you're the first person to lose their job? That's not why I left.
I left because you were mean, and you wouldn't get off the couch.
You need help, Mike.
What, you're You're doing a reality show? Really? Is this really a great time for you to be introduced to the world? Oh, and this guy, Patrick Again, don't want to be on TV.
He's a teacher.
He doesn't have two nickels to rub together, but he's happy.
He likes himself, and he likes me.
I like you.
I love you.
I tried so hard to make things work, but you just completely shut down.
I married a happy guy, Mike.
If that guy ever shows up again, he can give me a call.
Come on, Patrick.
PATRICK: Paige, this is still a-a date, yeah? A little tighter.
Two tease.
There we go.
All right, we got that.
Thank you, guys.
Looks great.
PERSON: Lunch is here.
I made it to the next round.
Are you really gonna do this show? Yeah, if I make the final cut.
- Mm.
- Want to fool around? Oh, honey, I'm just tired.
You know, we haven't had sex in six months.
What, are you keeping score? Well, that's not hard because the score is zero.
- We barely talk anymore, Kevin.
- [SIGHS.]
All you do a sit in your office all day long.
You know, I'm getting really tired of apologizing for working my ass off.
- Are you having an affair? - No! Why is this all of a sudden so important to you? What, you want to put it on Instagram? "Kevin lasted 14 minutes last night.
Champagne emoji, heart emoji, smiley face.
" - Okay, that's mean.
- It's true! Our whole lives are online, and this reality show I don't want you to do it.
Well, that's not entirely up to you.
I want my privacy.
Please, please don't do it.
Please! [DOOR SLAMS.]
MARTY: Nick, Charlotte wants to move to London with Henry.
Well, Charlotte can't because we share custody in New York.
Um, Reggie Sadler's here.
MARTY: She is making the case, since you were never home, that you don't really live in New York No, my work is out of town.
This is ridiculous.
She can't take my kid.
- ALAN: Reggie Sadler's here.
- NICK: Hold on.
Oh, really, Ron Weasley? Reggie Sadler's here? Okay, I'll just give up custody of my kid so we can start the meeting on your schedule.
You have no idea what to do right now, do you? - I no.
- Punch yourself in the face and go offer him some coffee! - Obviously I need a minute here.
- Sorry.
Look, Marty, I need you to make this go away, okay? I can't I Marty, I got to be able to see my kid.
Please figure it out.
Holding auditions from which we will choose 20 people who will go on to rehearse and then perform Who's in there? - It's, uh, Reggie Sadler.
- NICK: Swan Lake.
We are prepared to offer you $2 million.
Well, you'll have to audition, of course.
Audition on on camera? [LAUGHS.]
- No.
- He doesn't have to audition.
- He absolutely has to audition.
- Of course he does! No, I have to protect his brand.
Well, look, right now, his brand is crazy, drunk misogynist.
- What else are you gonna do? - We'll figure it out.
NICK: Thanks for playing for the team, guys.
WAYNE: Well, we'll have to know if he can dance.
MONICA: How am I supposed to pull off a production of Swan Lake with no real dancers? NICK: I don't know! It's gonna be a real nail-biter.
The harder your job is, the better the show is.
Excuse me, if I can teach him the choreography and get him to audition, can I get another shot? - No.
- Yes.
You're the single mom we cut yesterday, right? Gabby, and that was unfair.
There was stripper dust on the stage.
I'm sorry, she was cut.
There's no second chances.
Well, to be fair the show is literally about second chances.
NICK: Yeah, I like her coming down here and asking for another shot.
That's plucky as hell, and look at her.
Her hair, those freckles I'm drawn in.
I don't know whether she's Black or white or what.
You know what she looks like to me? She looks like America, and America needs a win.
- She really does.
- Yeah.
Come on, teach her the dance.
I'm only showing you this once.
- Mm-hmm.
- REGGIE: It's a lot of money, Jade.
JADE: We're appealing your suspension.
We can't find a doctor to say I can play.
My career could be over.
I'm selling my furniture, Jade.
I need a plan.
Excuse me! Excuse me! Hi, excuse me.
Uh, I'm Gabby Lewis.
I'm with the show.
You need to do this.
You need the money, your reputation is trash, and women hate you.
That last part ain't true.
This will be goodwill in the bank.
I can teach you.
Yeah, okay.
Let's do it.
Your house, one hour.
Uh, sorry.
Um, I don't know where you live.
REGGIE: All right, so what we doing? [CLEARS THROAT.]
Let's, um, partner up.
Your, uh, your right hand on my shoulder, and your left onto my [LAUGHING.]
Uh, pandemic.
I haven't been I haven't been touched by a man in in, like, a year.
- You good? - Mm-hmm.
Yes, yes.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Right hand on my shoulder.
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
It's actually been, um, much, much longer than a year.
I'm gonna just I'm gonna get some water, okay? I'm gonna [GIGGLES.]
GABBY: And don't forget to breathe.
One, two.
Shoulders back.
Watch your posture.
Look me in the eye.
Ow, that's my foot.
And that's my boob.
- Sorry.
- It's okay.
It's okay.
Don't let a sweet handful of boob get in the way of your success.
It's not the boob.
The boob is wonderful.
I'm a boob man.
Oh, my God.
I'm not a dancer.
Hey, have you ever even seen Swan Lake? Man, hell, no.
Where's the part where Mila Kunis starts having sex - with Natalie Portman? - That's Black Swan.
There's no ecstasy-fueled lesbian sex scene in Swan Lake.
- God.
- There should be.
Ooh, we gonna do the lift? What? No.
I-I don't want to throw your back out.
You let me worry about my back, huh? No, it's just [SIGHS.]
If you're the one who gets lifted, you're you're, like, the the best one, the smallest one, the one that gets everything.
That's that's just not me.
You're getting a little worked up about this.
What are you so concerned about the lift for? You know what you should be concerned about? - Not sucking.
- I'ma show you not sucking.
When? Okay.
Turn around.
Up and down.
Yeah, got it.
Chin up.
And go.
Up, down.
Seven, eight, and go.
Go, go.
- Across.
- Yeah, that Hook the arms.
- How about this? - Stop it.
SIMON: Push me back.
That's not a push, but okay.
Up, down.
Elongate your neck.
Okay, well, can you elongate your foot, please? - Big smile, or we'll lose.
- BOTH: Ow! Brittney.
Hey! Excuse me.
You are a grown woman, You don't hit.
- Let's go.
This is so unfair.
What? Your dinner, including the extra-large shake, is, like, 4,800 calories and 91 points on Weight Watchers.
- How do you do that? - GABBY: I just do.
I know how many calories are in everything.
How many calories am I? What, you mean if I, like, killed you and ate you? Yeah, roasted Reggie.
What do you go, 220? 223? 221.
That's pretty good.
I'm gonna minus out the organs for you.
You are 96,500 calories and 2,135 points on Weight Watchers.
Wow, that is crazy.
You're insane.
I was a dancer growing up.
Small's better.
REGGIE: Mm-mm.
This is your issue.
That call's coming from inside of the house.
Oh, okay.
The guy who tweeted about Michelle Obama's big ass says it's all in our heads? - God, that was a compliment.
- GABBY: How about this? Just don't say anything about anybody's body ever.
- Period.
- How about this? We are physical creatures, and attraction is a wonderful thing, period.
Man, just lighten up.
Why is the answer always for women to just lighten up? Bullying, harassment.
"Babe, just lighten up.
" Oh, how did we get to rape, mood killer? Damn! It is a slippery slope from commenting on our bodies to wanting to own them.
It's gender terrorism.
You really believe that? Sometimes.
Okay, and then other times, I just want to look pretty.
ROBBIE: Why don't we steal away You are pretty.
ROBBIE: Into the night? I know it ain't right We got to get out of here.
Got to crush that audition tomorrow.
PERSON: That's Reggie Sadler.
Thanks for getting mowed over last year.
You cost me two grand, drunk hair bag.
Let's go.
Who cares? PERSON: Team's better off without you, man.
Come on.
Let's go.
Yeah, that's right.
Listen to your fat-ass girlfriend! [DRAMATIC ORCHESTRAL MUSIC.]
Yo! Reggie! - PERSON: Come on, chill! - GABBY: Reggie! Say it again! Yeah, you got the right one today, bro.
Hi, can I help you? I need to know how much porn my husband is looking at, but he clears his history constantly.
Can you help me? Of course.
Right this way.
- Okay.
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
Do a system restore, Scout.
I had to do it for a lady last week.
- You do this a lot? - Oh, you have no idea.
I got it.
I got it.
I got it.
Okay, so this guy's hitting it ten times a day.
This dude was looking at porn like it's his job.
Amateur Slamature, Suburbanjugs, American Butts Only, Tightpitts.
Looks like he's on a webcam site a lot.
Wait, webcam, that's with a live girl? Why do you look at porn when you have someone at home to have sex with? Easier, faster, more variety.
It's not cheating.
It's just release.
- No, no, no, man.
- That's disgusting.
I think anything sexual outside of a relationship is definitely cheating.
And besides, porn is degrading to women.
Oh, my God.
You are so uptight.
Everybody looks at porn.
No, no, no.
You cannot separate your heart from your genitals, man.
- Okay, you're not - Let me guess.
He tells you that he's been working a lot.
Oh, he's been working, all right.
He's been working his damn ding-dong.
It's not like he has a girlfriend.
No, this is so much worse.
He can have whatever he wants whenever he wants.
The Internet is his girlfriend! What am I supposed to do, huh? I think you should do whatever you want.
Yeah, you're right.
You are exactly right.
I can do whatever I want.
Thank you for the depressing focus group.
I have an audition.
SCOUT: Good luck on your journey.
Thank you! [LAUGHTER ON TV.]
Don't you have your thing today? I don't think so, buddy.
Kind of fell apart last night.
- Ah! [LAUGHS.]
- Oh, hey! - Look who's here! Oh, wow! - Oh, whoa! - Hello.
- GABBY: Hi.
Come with me? Moral support.
Plus, maybe all the women will be eaten by bears.
Sam, should we go cheer for Justin? Yeah? Okay, I guess we'll go.
Come on, Mike.
Open up.
I see you.
Paige told me what happened.
You're gonna miss your audition.
- I'm not doing that.
- Why not? 'Cause it's stupid and she told me off on camera.
Said I was miserable and that I pushed her away.
Is any of that true? It's been a hard few years.
I'm lost, man.
I think a lot of people feel like that.
It's a hard time to be alive, but I'll tell you what, I did not know that you could dance like that.
Why not do the show? Be a part of something.
See what happens.
I just want her back.
Is it possible that you don't want Paige back? Is it possible that you want you back? [THE JACKSON 5'S "I WANT YOU BACK".]
Oh, you're a lifesaver.
What prevents us? PRODUCER: Final couple dance starts now.
Roll sound, please.
- Um - MIKE: I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, sorry, sorry I'm late.
MICHAEL: Uh-huh, huh, huh, huh Let me tell ya now Uh-huh I'm weirdly invested in Spider-Man and the meter maid.
SINGERS: Let you go, baby MICHAEL: But now since I see you in his arms [OVERLAPPING CHATTER.]
WAYNE: She's just glowing.
I'm doing this, Alan.
You do something else.
MICHAEL: All I need JERMAINE: Oh, just one more chance To show you that I love you, baby JESSICA: Final cuts in five.
Ready the star drop.
Cue the lights, please.
GABBY: Oh, my God.
- I'm so proud of you.
- Thank you.
Hey, where's my football player? Uh, he couldn't do it.
I'm just here for Justin.
Nah, don't be.
I mean, feel sorry for me.
I'm the one that's stuck in Detroit for the next four months.
But you you don't want to do this show.
I mean, all these people, their gonna have their lives turned upside down.
We're gonna look for dirt, and we're gonna exploit it, and I'll feel bad, but not too bad 'cause that's my job.
We doing this or what? [DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
Oh, who is that? NICK: All right, it looks like you're up.
- I don't have shoes.
- I brought them just in case.
- She brought them just in case.
- O-okay.
JUSTIN: It's okay.
Just breathe.
She's coming! Slow but fast.
Oh, my God, your hair! Take it down.
REGGIE: Sadler's in the zone.
Let's go.
He's, like, really attractive in person.
Did you Did you tell me that? GINA: Honey, I'm gonna muss the hair in the back.
- GABBY: Just pull it back.
- You look beautiful, okay? You got to go.
You got to go.
Beyoncé! I thought you got arrested.
They both had warrants.
Hey, we need some music.
MIKE: Check it out.
Let's do the lift.
- What? No, no, no.
- Yeah.
GABBY: No, no, no, no! [GASPS.]
What? What's up? Nothing.
I Thank you.
Thanks for that.
Thank you.
Jessica, let me see your notes.
Let me see your notes.
I want you to find out everything you can about her family, socioeconomics.
- Who's the father of her kid? - She didn't want to say.
That means there's something there.
- Can you figure it out? - Yeah.
- Why are we doing this? - 'Cause she's our story.
How is she the story? She's gonna fall in love with him, and he's gonna break her heart.

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