The Bold Type (2017) s03e02 Episode Script
Plus It Up
1 Previously, on "The Bold Type" I don't write for the dot-com.
Welcome to the digital team, Jane.
We're gonna have a lot of fun.
People don't want perfection, they want honesty.
This is the real me.
Heartbroken.
And I think it's about time we started being real - with one another.
- Look at how many people you're inspiring.
You're also a carrier of the BRCA gene.
- That is a game-changer for you.
- Why? If kids are in your future, you need to start thinking about it now.
Richard asked me to move in with him.
I don't want to lose this.
- Me.
- What do you want to do? I want to move in with Richard.
[laughs.]
[upbeat music.]
Turns out I am a hoarder.
[laughs.]
- Who knew? - I did.
- Ha-ha.
- Gonna miss your mess, though.
I know you will.
I think I'm all packed.
[sighs.]
Officially out of here.
Oh.
Thanks.
You know, um I could just ask them to move my bed back and forth.
Mm, you probably should.
But first they should take their shirts off.
- It's very hot in here, right? - Yeah, so hot.
You know As long as I live here, it's your home, too.
I know.
[bittersweet music.]
Both: I love you.
[soft laugh.]
[sighs.]
Stop.
- Why are you taking this? - Come on.
Yes, my sex life with Richard is fantastic, but I am not leaving Mr.
Hemsworth.
"Mr.
Hemsworth"? This is "Reliable Buddy.
" Uh, excuse me, I think that I know my vibrator when I see it.
I got it at the [together.]
Pink Pussycat on Bleeker.
- Mine's missing.
- Okay.
That doesn't mean that we swapped vibrators.
You keep yours near your bed, right? Yeah! Oh, except for when we had the dinner party, so I moved it from my bedroom to the [together.]
Bathroom.
Where I dumped my makeup bag - [gasps.]
- after I got back from Jersey Shore.
You know what, you take it.
Actually, I think it's yours.
- Nope, it isn't.
- No, it is, - because mine has a dent in it.
- How did you dent it? - Don't ask me questions.
- It is a going-away present.
- You're welcome.
- No thanks, not necessary.
I don't want it.
Take it.
[squeals.]
[buzzing.]
Well, let's do this.
[Josie Dunne's "Make You Mine".]
Love ya.
Thanks.
One kiss one touch you're mine Gonna make you mine [laughs.]
[sighs.]
You know I really thought I had less stuff.
Well, thank God you have this lamp.
Which is great, 'cause I've had my eye on it in your apartment for a while now.
- [laughing.]
- Both: Ah.
And, uh, this is dirty, I assume? Yes, very.
With the move and work, I haven't had much time to do anything.
Oliver's been leaning on me a lot, so All right, well, dirty laundry goes in the closet.
- Fran does it on Monday.
- Oh, hey, uh you know, Fran is your housekeeper.
She doesn't work for me.
Fran is your housekeeper because you live here now.
- I live here.
- Yeah.
[laughing.]
That's so great.
I think I'm still gonna do my own laundry, though.
What seriously? 'Cause you don't have to.
I know, but I like to.
And anyway, these are my unmentionables.
Then I shall not mention them.
But I shall go tip the movers.
[pensive electronic music.]
Okay, come on out.
I wanna see you in your hockey outfit before you go.
It's not an outfit.
- It's a uniform.
- I like it.
Give me a little spin.
- Whoo, yeah.
- [laughing.]
Wow.
You are so hot.
You are gonna melt that ice, which is gonna send that puck right into the net.
Yeah, I mean, I want to like it, but no.
- It's not doing it for me.
- [laughing.]
But what is doing it for me is the fact that you made me a pre-game snack.
Oh, no.
"Follitropin"? Oh, hey, is it egg-freezing time? Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Uh, I went to the doctor and they gave me the go-ahead to start my egg-freezing process.
- That's great.
- Mm-hmm.
- That's a big deal.
- I guess.
I mean, it's just some injections and then the egg extraction, which is a small procedure, but, uh, it's pretty straight-forward.
Oh, except, um, no drinking, no carbs, and no sex for two weeks.
I probably should have told you that.
Uh, yeah.
Are you kidding me? No carbs for two weeks? - So, what can I do? - Nothing.
They taught me how to do the injections at the doctor's.
- Easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy.
- You're gonna inject yourself? - Mm-hmm.
- I can help.
I mean, I can be late for hockey, it doesn't matter.
No, no, no.
You have playoffs, - which is so exciting - Mm.
And, uh, I'm fine, so go.
- And go Ryan's hockey team.
- The Zambronis, you mean? The Zambronis.
Go.
[laughs.]
- Bye.
- Bye.
[text message swoops.]
All right.
[sighs.]
Here goes Operation "Freeze Jane's Eggs to Keep Her Options Open for Her Future.
" [syringe clicking.]
- That's it? - Yep.
Wow.
Bikini waxes laugh at that.
- Hah.
- Yeah.
- Okay, so it is 10:30 - Mm-hmm.
So for the next ten days, I have to take the injection at the exact same time.
Okey-dokey.
You know, I love any excuse to hang out, but why don't you just get Pinstripe to help you with this stuff? Because, I mean, we're seven weeks into our relationship.
I don't want to kill our early, fun dating vibe with "alcohol wipes, hormone injection, mild cramping" vibes.
This is mucking through some tough stuff, and - [sighs.]
- It's too early for mucking.
You want to focus on the other "ucking.
" Exactly.
I'm really happy.
And I want to protect what we have.
You know, it might bring you closer together.
Really? Well, answer this question: Did you poop in front of Adena? I don't know what that has to do with anything.
Answer the question.
- I'd go to the Duane Reade - [laughing.]
On my corner.
But I'm an only child.
I don't poop in front of anyone.
And I don't see what pooping has to do with fertility injections.
It's something that has to be done, and just because it's happening doesn't mean that Ryan needs to be there.
I already have a plan.
His hockey team is in the playoffs.
He's busy, and once hockey season is over, I'll be done with this, and we are back to where we were.
Non-stop "ucking.
" [upbeat music.]
Is that how you "uck"? How you doing? I'm good.
Yeah, better.
- What about you? - I'm I'm great.
So last night I got into one of those obligatory "is social media good or bad?" debates, and you came up on the side of good.
Kat, your #BeReal campaign has exploded, it's incredible.
I mean, look, look.
- That's crazy.
- Break-ups, unemployment, health issues.
I mean, it's amazing.
- I keep scrolling.
- Oh, hold on.
- What? - Yeah, just go back up.
- This? - Yeah.
"After 30 years, my bar is being shut down.
"I'm devastated that the safe haven I've created for queer women will be gone forever.
" You know this place, Wild Susan? Yeah, it Adena took me there once, and it's kind of become my spot.
[pensive music.]
I'm gonna be in and out today.
Cover when needed.
Text when necessary.
- Call when don't call.
- Okay.
- Where you going? - Out.
I'm gonna need you to run point on the prom-themed shoot.
- I will not be there.
- And it's all set? - Models, photographers booked? - Yes.
We can effectively memorialize the most traumatic night of my youth.
Oh, no.
You hated prom? - I don't call.
- 'Kay, bye! [upbeat music.]
- Hi, Jane.
- Hi.
Sorry, I didn't want to interrupt.
Oh, not at all.
I did this incredible retreat at Kripalu and they taught me mini-meditations.
Five minutes and I'm fully aligned with the present moment.
And here for you, so go.
I'm starting my egg-freezing process this week.
- Obsessed.
- Good.
Because I'm writing a piece on it.
Wait, Jane.
So what's your angle? Demystifying the egg-freezing process.
Mm.
Yeah, needs a little bit more.
No problem.
It's probably better for the magazine anyway.
Remember, you write for the dot-com.
I really want this one for the dot-com, - so we just need to plus it up.
- [scoffs.]
Plus it up? Plus up the challenges of my medical condition? Yeah, next-level it.
Find a fresh angle.
Once you figure that out, then you can write your piece.
Okay.
Thanks, Jane.
[funky music.]
Jacqueline.
Andrew told me you wanted to talk? Yes, I saw that you are reaching out to Cardi B for digital's new date-night column.
I was hoping that maybe you could hold off on that, because we're trying to get Cardi for a feature in the magazine, and it's kind of an either/or situation.
Wow.
Do you have a problem with that? No, I'm just a little surprised.
Patrick, it's really important that digital and print work well together, especially since we're sharing resources You misunderstand.
Of course, I will hold off on Cardi B.
I'm just a little surprised that digital and print are throwing elbows for the same talent.
Mm, I gotta up my game.
"Plus it up"? Egg-freezing is emotional, and hard, and plenty plussed-up.
Okay, look, I know you don't like the guy, but you have to admit it's pretty cool that he authorized a field trip to Wild Susan.
I want you guys to see how great it is.
Hey, do you guys think it's weird that I don't want Richard's housekeeper doing my laundry? - That's insane.
- Yes.
I bet he's had a housekeeper his whole life.
Well, I've had a housekeeper my whole life.
I had my aunt come over and help my brother and I clean the house, but my life goal is to be successful enough to never have to do my own laundry again.
Not only have I never had a housekeeper, but in 12th grade I almost was one at a hotel.
- What happened? - Failed the drug test.
[indistinct chatter.]
I don't get it.
I mean, this place is packed.
- Why is it closing? - It's a scam.
They say we owe 42 grand to the state liquor authority, but the fines are 20 years old and we didn't even know about them.
Most of it is penalty.
We can't afford that.
So, why did they come up now? Owner, city, developer, they want to gentrify the neighborhood, so they dug them up.
Now we have to pay them all at once or we're in breach of our lease.
It was a good run, but we're done.
Thank you.
- That sucks.
- Yeah.
You know, I love going to straight bars with you guys, I do, but I'm still finding myself and finding my place, and having a bar like this has been really great.
And now they're gonna tear it down to build a luxury condo.
Well, you know what, we can go to other lesbian bars with you.
- Mm-hmm.
- Well, you know, this is actually one of only two lesbian bars in the city.
- What? - You're kidding.
It's ridiculous.
You know what, I'm texting my lawyer.
- [both laugh.]
- You have a lawyer? I do.
She did #BeReal and hated her firm and quit, and we DM'd.
And now I have a lawyer.
- Do I need a lawyer? - Yeah.
- [phone buzzes.]
- Oh, no.
I gotta go.
- Sorry.
- What? [electronic music.]
Hey.
So, um, we really have to get going.
Is Deirdre ready? Why did Oliver book Nick Chassen? Because he's great at doing make-up.
Yeah, well, Nick's also the guy she caught blowing her boyfriend last Christmas.
Oliver knew that.
What was he thinking? Give me one second.
Hey, Deirdre.
Well, see you practicing that smolder.
Let's get you some of that genius face-painting.
Yeah, try Bob Ross, because if she's the model then you're losing the best make-up artist in town.
Best at blowing guys too drunk to care.
- Trust me, he cared.
- Oh.
- Screw this.
- Fine.
Oh, no, no.
Um, guys! Okay.
Hey, can you give me ten minutes - and I can figure this out? - No, you won't.
I can't believe Oliver booked them together.
I'm billing for this time.
[indistinct chatter.]
Actually, the thing is, they're all very distinct.
It makes my job relatively easy.
- Hey.
- Hi.
What are you doing here? I just had a meeting with Trish.
My editor.
I have a book deal.
Oh, I know Trish.
She she's great.
She just did Marina's book.
Abromavic.
- Right, yeah.
- I'm sorry.
Do you two know each other? Well, we just met, but I loved his column in "Pinstripe" and I'm super into the fact that he's dating you.
Good times.
Uh, we should all go back to work.
Well, maybe we are working.
I mean, isn't that the cool thing about being a writer, you could argue that every life moment is material? No, not every life moment.
- It's debatable.
- Agree to disagree.
You agreeing to disagree with me - is material.
- That doesn't make sense.
Pitch: You two should write about your egg-freezing process together.
- Cool.
- No.
Think about it: Two brilliant writers, who are a couple, going through this monumental change together.
You could really dig in, explore the hopes around it, the fears.
Well, I hope [laughs.]
that this isn't happening.
Well, I really want it to, so - I'm afraid that it is, okay? - We'll make it work.
Good.
Looking forward to it.
- Good meeting you, Ryan.
- You, too.
Thanks for the gig.
[rousing music.]
So, how do you want to do this? Should we take turns typing? Or maybe one of us controls the keyboard.
Who am I kidding, that's all you.
[laughs.]
Yeah, that's probably best.
I think it would be really helpful if you broke it all down for me, explained the whole process so far.
Also, I'd really love to get a schedule of all of your doctor's visits, your injections.
I wanna be there for all of it.
Also, I want to talk about side-effects.
Are you experiencing mood swings because of all the hormones, or is it more physical stuff like bloating, cramping? You know, I don't really think that approaching it this way makes sense.
So is that a "yes" on the mood swings? Okay, well, what's your angle? Well, um [sighs.]
I was thinking it could be a he-said, she-said? Go off on our own, write from our own perspectives.
I mean, you're Pinstripe, right? Actually, that was always your nickname for me.
- Not really mine, but okay.
- I just mean Patrick really loved your column, and, uh, we can't have sex for ten days.
That's something you could write about.
Well, that's not really an angle that interests me.
Jane, I know we've never written together before, but I think this could be a really cool bonding experience.
We could be like Michael Chabon and Ayelet Waldman, only with less micro-dosing.
I don't really think this story lends itself to that.
[phone buzzes.]
Okay.
- Um - I'm so sorry.
I forgot I have a meeting.
Um but look, it's gonna be great and I can't wait to see what you come up with.
All right, Sloan, however you want to do it.
But you still have to keep me looped in on the process.
I wanna know what's going on here.
Yeah, um, absolutely.
You'll be looped.
Happy writing.
[soft electronic music.]
Hello.
- Hi.
- Sutton.
It's a coincidence, I was just about to call Oliver.
I heard there was an issue at the prom shoot.
Right, yes.
Unfortunately, we walked right into some model drama.
Oh.
And Oliver didn't step in? I tried to fix it.
Lesson learned.
Don't be a hero.
Especially when there's tens of thousands of dollars at stake.
Yes.
Um, Oliver and I are are working on it.
Good, because I have eight pages that need to be filled by tomorrow, midnight.
[soft dramatic music.]
- And our car is here.
- I'll be right down.
- You okay? - Yeah.
Yeah, I got it.
Um, I'm gonna go get some coffee.
I'm probably gonna be here late tonight.
All right, well, I'll be waiting up with a ice-cold martini for you.
You're number one.
Hey.
Skinny latte with cinnamon.
Extra sweet, just like you.
Well, I'm sure you've heard by now that the photo shoot was a little bumpy.
I heard.
Well, I checked, and since the model walked off, the agency has to offer a replacement at no cost, and I figured we could use an up-and-coming make-up artist to save a little bit of money there Sounds good.
Actually, it's not great.
- Jacqueline was pretty upset.
- Well, it came up unplanned.
So, um, it's handled.
I'm gone for the day.
You're leaving again? Where are you going? I'm going out, Sutton.
Stop asking where.
Out.
I'm sorry.
[tense music.]
Look photo shoots sometimes implode.
We're allowed a misstep every now and then.
Just get the shoot done by 10:00 a.
m.
tomorrow, get me the proofs to approve by 8:00 p.
m.
, or those photos won't make the issue's close.
Neither of us need that.
[phone buzzes.]
- - [sighs.]
So my lawyer said before trying an injunction I should talk to my city councilman, see if you can help.
The Wild Susan is a really important bar.
It is, and I am committed to District 1 remaining inclusive for our queer community.
That's great.
- But I'm not sure I can help.
- Really? Look, I'll admit the fines are onerous and unfortunate, but I can't have scofflaws.
And every penny that we don't collect is a penny we don't have for necessary social services - that improve this district.
- Well, sure, but there's gotta be something they can do.
Yeah, come up with the $42,000.
Other than that, I'm sorry.
It's really the best I can do.
How do we raise $42,000 for the Wild Susan in one week? Um, crowdfunding.
You know, the first five people to put money in get free drinks forever.
Hey.
I am back from being prodded.
- That romance faded quickly.
- No, Dr.
Kelso.
- Oh.
- I got my ovaries checked.
- And we're all good.
- Good.
Did your, uh, writing partner happen to join you? He did not.
Look, I don't care what Patrick assigned us.
There's some lines I'm not willing to cross, and having my boyfriend witness my trans-vaginal ultrasound is one of them.
- Also pooping.
- Speaking of shit.
I think something's going on with Oliver.
He's been, like, totally out of it with this photo shoot thing.
And at first I thought it was because he hated his prom, you know? Just being gay in the '90s in Oklahoma.
- Oliver hated his prom.
- Yeah, I guess so.
Anyway, then he snapped at me, which was very strange.
He's never done that before.
I bet he felt like he didn't belong.
At his prom? Maybe.
- I'd redo that night if I could.
- [laughs.]
- I think a lot of people would.
- You guys, what if we threw a prom at the Wild Susan? Except it's-it's like a a charity event.
We charge admission, we get donations, we invite a bunch of people with a lot of coins.
I love that.
We have so many prom dresses and so many prom decorations.
- Let's do prom.
- Not just any prom.
Queer prom.
We go we go pandemonium [upbeat music.]
Oh, man.
I'm gonna be late because I can't find anything and I have to be at work early for this prom re-shoot.
I thought Oliver hated morning shoots.
- "Eye-bags.
" - He does, but I'm taking over - this shoot, so - Really? After what happened the other day, doesn't that seem a little irresponsible? - Richard - Because it kind of does to me.
- I have it handled.
- Okay.
Hey, you wanna get dinner tonight? Wanna go to a lesbian bar? Kat is organizing a fundraiser to save the place from closing, and also it just happens to be prom themed.
So I would be your prom date? - Yeah.
- [laughs.]
[laughs.]
I feel a way Mm.
- Oh.
- What? You know what else I don't have? - What? - Underwear.
Oh, I know, you don't need 'em right now No, I don't have any clean underwear.
- Oh.
- Which is fine, 'cause - I'm doing laundry tonight.
- Sutton, this is stupid.
- Just let Fra - It's fine.
I'm gonna do laundry tonight.
Jump in my feet Thump in my chest Have fun.
That's what I need that's what I love That's what I want yeah Jump in my feet thump in my chest Dizzy in my head I caught a rush like I'm riding a bullet Kind of dangerous but I'm still gonna do it Headed for a wall but I'm gonna break through it - Hi.
- Hi, you're early.
Mm-hmm.
Just wanted to get a head start - on the day.
- Wow.
You're still on laundry strike? Yeah, and I'm sorry, but I can't just become a person who has who has a maid.
Yeah, that's great.
I've now seen both of my best friends' vaginas.
What? No, this is long enough.
And with backlighting, completely sheer.
- [gasps.]
- Trust me, Landing Strip, we're gonna go to the fashion closet - and get you some underwear.
- Okay.
Yep, we're good.
Bump in my feet thump in my chest Dizzy in my head La la la la la la la Hey, who do we have covering the Fenty roll-out? That would be Angie, or she might actually kill me.
- Yeah, I could see that.
- Yeah.
Hey, um, I've decided to host a fundraiser for Wild Susan.
- Oh, that's great.
- Yeah.
I was just wondering, do you think it would be okay if I tweet about it from the "Scarlet" account? Mm.
Fundraiser for a bar.
I think that might be a gray area for Safford Publications.
Well, it's a queer prom for anyone and everyone who feels like they missed out or wants a do-over.
And gray can very easily become black and white.
You can totally tweet about that.
- Thank you.
- Jacqueline, Kat's hosting a queer prom fundraiser.
You should totally come.
You'd get a kick out of that.
- That sounds fun.
- Oh, my God, you know who would love this is Sasha Velour.
Oh, yes.
She was a winner on "RuPaul's Drag Race.
" So smart, sexy.
She really is the perfect person to launch - our date-night column.
- Oh, yeah.
I'm familiar with "RuPaul's Drag Race.
" Really? If you need any help.
Oh, that's sweet, but I got this.
[punchy music.]
He's very passionate.
- Indeed he is.
- Yeah.
That shoot went pretty good, but still no Oliver? Nope.
I need an approved PO number now - or I'm getting paid in 2020.
- Okay.
[uneasy music.]
Oh, my God.
I am really worried about Oliver.
Something's definitely going on.
It's Oliver.
He's a rock.
- Rocks crumble, Jane.
- I don't think they do.
Where do you think sand comes from? The beach.
Who cares? It's Oliver.
These queer prom dresses are great.
ROYGBIV.
Anyway, I found court papers on Oliver's desk.
Wow.
What for? Well, I didn't want to be nosey er than I was being.
The thing is, Richard knows something is wrong, and he wants to talk to me about Oliver, and I want to talk to him because he's my boyfriend, but then I remember that Oliver is a "Scarlet" employee and Richard's a board member, and Hasn't that always been true, though? Yeah, but ever since we moved in together things have changed.
- The boundaries are blurry.
- [knocking on glass.]
- People knock now? - I like it.
People are starting to pick up on the fact that this is our room.
- Mm-hmm.
- Who is it? It's Ryan.
Come in.
Hi, ladies.
You have a second to talk? So, did you visit the doctor after we met yesterday? 'Cause, uh, I've been doing some research, and from everything that I've read, you're supposed to go every other day to monitor the egg growth.
- I did.
- Really? After we decided to write the article together? Um, after Patrick decided and you hopped on the bandwagon.
Okay, I thought it would be fun.
My egg-freezing is not fun for me.
That's not what I meant.
I why do I feel like you're hiding this from me? Because I am.
[sighs.]
I just did this.
I let Ben get involved in all this medical stuff and it became a huge part of our relationship, and it ruined everything.
I don't want that with you.
Jane, you're going through something right now.
What do you expect me to do? Just ignore it? Yes.
I appreciate everything you're doing, but this is about me.
It has nothing to do with you right now.
Yeah, except I'm dating you right now, and I told you I want to be involved.
I don't want you involved.
[sighs.]
I'm just trying to keep things with us from getting heavy and weird, okay? Right.
I don't think it's working.
I gotta go.
[bitter music.]
[sighs.]
[MNDR's "Gravity".]
Up on the wall down to the floor Work out our demons But the way we slam them doors Entre.
[giggles.]
'Cause love is like a warrior - Hi! - Hey! - Welcome to queer prom.
- Gay prom! - Whoo! - You guys look amazing.
- Look at this bowtie.
- Wow, is that velvet? - Yes, it is.
- You'll almost fit in.
- How's it going? - It's good.
You know, got a good turn-out, I'm wearing this dress that feels the correct amount of extra.
- Whoo! - Okay.
And oh, uh, Patrick didn't end up getting Sasha Velour, which was kind of disappointing, but - Mm.
- If you, uh, direct your attention to the vagina thermometer.
- Wow! - The night is young.
I would also like to say hello to my best friend's boyfriend, who has a lot of coins.
Right.
[clears throat.]
You can donate! It's a worthy cause.
Okay, okay, sure.
There.
- Hey! - Hey - And that's - Wow, Richie Rich.
You guys are all worth it.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
- Come on, get in here.
- All right.
- Please, enter.
- Jane.
- Why are you sad? - Oh, well, you know, it's prom but I can't sneak any booze and I have to leave early to take hormones, so - You know what you should do? - What? Dance, baby! Come on! Come with me! Come on, let's go! All around me My heart in agony when you're around me So why do you pull me down Why you pull me down why you pull me down Oh, it makes me so happy.
[punchy upbeat music.]
[camera shutter clicks.]
[laughter.]
- Oh, come on.
- - What? - [sighs.]
The only thing that Oliver has to do is approve the photos I already sent him to make this month's cover.
- And he hasn't? - I'm really sorry, but I'm gonna have to go deal with this right now.
Sutton, come on, this is getting ridiculous.
Just tell me what's going on.
Richard, you know that I can't.
I gotta go.
[upbeat pop music.]
Club soda? Yay.
So, prom.
Let me guess, you went to yours middle fingers up - [scoffs.]
- And you were Prom King.
I actually skipped my prom to stay home with my mother and watch reruns of "Full House.
" I, uh, didn't have a boyfriend or girlfriend in high school.
I guess I could have gone with friends, but I decided to play it safe.
I have been known to get in my way sometimes.
What about you? Uh, my prom was great.
I, uh, planned the whole thing all the way down to the soundtrack I lost my virginity to.
Oh, that's amazing.
It was, on paper.
I wasn't into my boyfriend anymore but I didn't want to admit it to myself.
And I chose my dream dress but it was itchy and hot, so none of it was real.
And I kind of wish it was.
Uh, I think I screwed things up with Ryan, so I'll get you that article, it just might take a little while.
Jane.
[bombastic music.]
Showtime Roll time Oh, my God.
[laughs.]
Okay, I am rolling, so it's possible that I am conjuring this, but did Sasha Velour just come to prom? - Oh, my God.
It's Sasha.
- I can't believe she's here.
Hi, I'm Kat.
Yeah, that's her.
Wait, you're rolling? Thank you so much for coming.
What is happening? Is is Jacqueline really friends with Sasha? Jacqueline's friends with everyone.
I know that you feelin' me Oh If you live this loud, show it Show it, show it - Hey.
- Oh, hi.
I'm fertility Cinderella, so I've gotta go.
Oh, your injection.
I was supposed to do that.
Oh, no, I can do it myself.
It's fine.
Hey, what you did here is really amazing.
Thanks.
You know, I've been so in my feelings lately.
It feels good to channel my energy into something that really matters, you know? - I'm proud of you.
- Hey.
- Oh, is that the councilman? - Yeah.
Well, that's a good sign that he came, right? Yeah.
All right, good luck.
- I love you.
- I love you, too.
Oh Oh Because you should know better [elevator dings.]
Good lord, what's happening? You would know if you responded to my texts.
- What are you doing here, Red? - We need to talk.
All right.
Well, my guests are just leaving.
See you later, Carly.
Aww [tender music.]
- Mm - Bye, Ollie.
[sighs.]
[sighs.]
These look good, by the way.
Thank you.
So you're probably wondering who that was.
Her name is Carly, and she's the daughter of an old friend.
A boyfriend.
We lived together for six years, and three of them were with Carly.
So, you're like her dad? I taught her how to Rollerblade, dance, accessorize [laughs.]
What's going on now? Uh, Jasper, my ex, used heroin before I knew him, and recently it's gotten the best of him.
Um, Carly's mom isn't in the picture, so Carly was headed for a group home, but I'm not having that.
So you're what? I'm applying to be her legal guardian.
- [soft laugh.]
- And we'll see, okay? The paperwork, the vetting, it's intense.
They don't make it any easier for a single gay black man.
I bet.
Oh, Oliver - I approve.
- [laughs.]
- [laughing.]
- Oh, thank goodness.
[laughs.]
[Kim Petras' "Heart to Break".]
Every time Gonna give you my heart to break Devilish Every kiss Gonna give you my heart to break [both laughing.]
- Should we get a drink? - Absolutely.
Can we get some champagne, please? - [soft laugh.]
- [sighs.]
- I love this.
- This is so great.
Both: Thank you.
- Thank you.
- Ah.
- Both: Cheers.
- Hi, Jacqueline.
Oh, Patrick.
Well, you were right.
I am getting a kick out of this prom.
I just have to tell you, I I'm, like, a huge fan.
- Yeah.
Just, yeah.
- Thanks.
So how do you two know each other? - Oh, um - [laughs.]
Well, I discovered Sasha when she was performing completely unknown in a little club right around the corner from our apartment, and Ian and I became superfans.
I was completely broke, but we hit it off.
Turns out Sasha is amazing with kids.
She needed a job, we needed a nanny, so she ended working for us - for two years.
- Best two years of my life.
And then the world finally discovered what we already knew.
- Brilliant.
- Stop.
Jacqueline told me all about your date-night column.
Sounds amazing.
Come find me on the dance floor when you're ready.
See you.
[soft laugh.]
Well, I feel stupid saying that I underestimated you, because you're Jacqueline Carlyle, but I did.
Puts you in good company.
- We live and learn.
- We do.
Okay, I'm gonna go get that interview.
Good idea.
Even if it means that I'll never Put myself back together Gonna give you my [soft tender music.]
- Hi.
- Hey.
What are you doing here? It's almost 10:30.
[soft tender music.]
So you missed hockey? I wanted to be here.
In case you needed help with your injection.
And if you don't, that's okay, too.
But I pushed you away.
Well, I came back.
I know you said you've tried this before and it was hard, but you haven't tried it with me.
[sighs.]
I just really like what we have right now.
I've never felt this way about anybody, and I wanted to protect that so badly that I tried to keep all the mess away.
But that's dumb because that's part of it all, right? Right.
[Elina's "Here With Me".]
It's funny how you wait till the moment comes Moment's here Moment's gone Kiss you heavy heavy but you know we ain't done yet [phone chiming.]
- [sighs.]
- Did you set an alarm for my injection? - Damn right, I did.
- [laughing.]
That's so sweet, but you're half an hour early.
Oh, that's just the first reminder.
There'll be another one at 10:30.
I got you, Jane.
And it's happening to hurt you And we're not even on drugs Why make things complicated When we could stay like that Why makes things so much harder We could be gone like that We'll come across them days that go Out their way to bring us down to our knees So for once baby for once Baby for once be here with me Hey.
$42,000 was a lot to ask.
But you got people out here.
Loud, proud, and enjoying themselves.
- Yeah.
- It's a victory.
We'll we're not done yet, so I know.
- Night, Kat.
- Night.
I love you when you love me but our boat is rocking Storm's right here let it in We'll keep it steady steady 'Cause you know we ain't done yet - Councilman Reynolds.
- Hi, Kat.
- So we made $20,000 tonight - That's good.
Do you think there's any way we can use that as partial payment, take care of the rest - at a later date? - I'm sorry, Kat.
It doesn't work that way.
- The developer's gonna put up - A luxury condo.
Yes, I'm aware.
I mean, look around.
People need this space, and they elected you, so we have to fight.
I'm sure the condo plans will include some open space.
- Open space? - Yeah.
In a luxury condo? What does that even mean? Think of it like a park.
Right.
You really don't care, do you? I mean you act like you do, you love a photo-op but when it comes to actually taking care of the interests of the people that live here, you really don't give a shit.
I'm sorry you feel that way, Kat.
What people like you see as gentrification, I see as neighborhood improvement.
Mm.
But I admire your passion.
'Cause it's those lights 'Cause we happen to be feeling all right Whatever happens got this feeling I like - Hey.
- Hey.
- Did you do my laundry? - I did.
I get that moving in is a big adjustment, and if you're not ready to have a housekeeper do your laundry, let me help you.
- I'm shocked.
- Not only do I know how to do it, I'm real good at it.
I did a ton of laundry when I was a kid.
What? I thought your family had a whole staff.
Yeah, but at boarding school if you wanted clean clothes you did laundry, and I picked up a lot of tips.
For instance, hot water doesn't get your clothes cleaner, it just fades the colors.
Wow.
Oh, wow, wow, wow.
Okay, let me ask you this: Did they also make you hose down the yachts after sailing? [laughing.]
But seriously, if I smell fabric softener on you, you're out, because that stuff's the worst.
Wow, I am learning so much about laundry, and you.
[Jessie Ware's "Alone".]
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
I'm sorry that I've been weird about work stuff.
I wanna tell you everything.
I just feel kind of like I'm betraying Oliver if I do.
And why is this happening now? I think 'cause we live together now.
Okay, well, from now on when we're in this space, in our home, I'm not Richard from the board.
I'm just your boyfriend.
Okay.
- You can be Richie.
- No, never Richie.
Nope.
- You could be Dick.
- Don't you dare.
[both laughing.]
Ricardo.
I can work with that.
Okay, come here then, why don't you go ahead and tell Ricardo - how was your day? - Well it was pretty incredible.
- Do tell.
- Yeah.
Could talk about how messy it gets when all of the kind of health stuff - started happening.
- Absolutely.
So how that got kind of messy and awkward and weird and Oh-oh-oh Move.
I want to write.
[vocalizing.]
Just want to talk a little longer So baby don't you want to stay - A little later - 'Cause I could watch you Watch me forever 'Cause I know you better - I don't want to hurt you.
- It's fine.
Who's taking me home? Me home [syringe clicking.]
- Ow! - Oh, my God! [laughing.]
[sighs.]
That is not funny.
[laughs.]
Who's taking me home? So I can get you alone
Welcome to the digital team, Jane.
We're gonna have a lot of fun.
People don't want perfection, they want honesty.
This is the real me.
Heartbroken.
And I think it's about time we started being real - with one another.
- Look at how many people you're inspiring.
You're also a carrier of the BRCA gene.
- That is a game-changer for you.
- Why? If kids are in your future, you need to start thinking about it now.
Richard asked me to move in with him.
I don't want to lose this.
- Me.
- What do you want to do? I want to move in with Richard.
[laughs.]
[upbeat music.]
Turns out I am a hoarder.
[laughs.]
- Who knew? - I did.
- Ha-ha.
- Gonna miss your mess, though.
I know you will.
I think I'm all packed.
[sighs.]
Officially out of here.
Oh.
Thanks.
You know, um I could just ask them to move my bed back and forth.
Mm, you probably should.
But first they should take their shirts off.
- It's very hot in here, right? - Yeah, so hot.
You know As long as I live here, it's your home, too.
I know.
[bittersweet music.]
Both: I love you.
[soft laugh.]
[sighs.]
Stop.
- Why are you taking this? - Come on.
Yes, my sex life with Richard is fantastic, but I am not leaving Mr.
Hemsworth.
"Mr.
Hemsworth"? This is "Reliable Buddy.
" Uh, excuse me, I think that I know my vibrator when I see it.
I got it at the [together.]
Pink Pussycat on Bleeker.
- Mine's missing.
- Okay.
That doesn't mean that we swapped vibrators.
You keep yours near your bed, right? Yeah! Oh, except for when we had the dinner party, so I moved it from my bedroom to the [together.]
Bathroom.
Where I dumped my makeup bag - [gasps.]
- after I got back from Jersey Shore.
You know what, you take it.
Actually, I think it's yours.
- Nope, it isn't.
- No, it is, - because mine has a dent in it.
- How did you dent it? - Don't ask me questions.
- It is a going-away present.
- You're welcome.
- No thanks, not necessary.
I don't want it.
Take it.
[squeals.]
[buzzing.]
Well, let's do this.
[Josie Dunne's "Make You Mine".]
Love ya.
Thanks.
One kiss one touch you're mine Gonna make you mine [laughs.]
[sighs.]
You know I really thought I had less stuff.
Well, thank God you have this lamp.
Which is great, 'cause I've had my eye on it in your apartment for a while now.
- [laughing.]
- Both: Ah.
And, uh, this is dirty, I assume? Yes, very.
With the move and work, I haven't had much time to do anything.
Oliver's been leaning on me a lot, so All right, well, dirty laundry goes in the closet.
- Fran does it on Monday.
- Oh, hey, uh you know, Fran is your housekeeper.
She doesn't work for me.
Fran is your housekeeper because you live here now.
- I live here.
- Yeah.
[laughing.]
That's so great.
I think I'm still gonna do my own laundry, though.
What seriously? 'Cause you don't have to.
I know, but I like to.
And anyway, these are my unmentionables.
Then I shall not mention them.
But I shall go tip the movers.
[pensive electronic music.]
Okay, come on out.
I wanna see you in your hockey outfit before you go.
It's not an outfit.
- It's a uniform.
- I like it.
Give me a little spin.
- Whoo, yeah.
- [laughing.]
Wow.
You are so hot.
You are gonna melt that ice, which is gonna send that puck right into the net.
Yeah, I mean, I want to like it, but no.
- It's not doing it for me.
- [laughing.]
But what is doing it for me is the fact that you made me a pre-game snack.
Oh, no.
"Follitropin"? Oh, hey, is it egg-freezing time? Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Uh, I went to the doctor and they gave me the go-ahead to start my egg-freezing process.
- That's great.
- Mm-hmm.
- That's a big deal.
- I guess.
I mean, it's just some injections and then the egg extraction, which is a small procedure, but, uh, it's pretty straight-forward.
Oh, except, um, no drinking, no carbs, and no sex for two weeks.
I probably should have told you that.
Uh, yeah.
Are you kidding me? No carbs for two weeks? - So, what can I do? - Nothing.
They taught me how to do the injections at the doctor's.
- Easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy.
- You're gonna inject yourself? - Mm-hmm.
- I can help.
I mean, I can be late for hockey, it doesn't matter.
No, no, no.
You have playoffs, - which is so exciting - Mm.
And, uh, I'm fine, so go.
- And go Ryan's hockey team.
- The Zambronis, you mean? The Zambronis.
Go.
[laughs.]
- Bye.
- Bye.
[text message swoops.]
All right.
[sighs.]
Here goes Operation "Freeze Jane's Eggs to Keep Her Options Open for Her Future.
" [syringe clicking.]
- That's it? - Yep.
Wow.
Bikini waxes laugh at that.
- Hah.
- Yeah.
- Okay, so it is 10:30 - Mm-hmm.
So for the next ten days, I have to take the injection at the exact same time.
Okey-dokey.
You know, I love any excuse to hang out, but why don't you just get Pinstripe to help you with this stuff? Because, I mean, we're seven weeks into our relationship.
I don't want to kill our early, fun dating vibe with "alcohol wipes, hormone injection, mild cramping" vibes.
This is mucking through some tough stuff, and - [sighs.]
- It's too early for mucking.
You want to focus on the other "ucking.
" Exactly.
I'm really happy.
And I want to protect what we have.
You know, it might bring you closer together.
Really? Well, answer this question: Did you poop in front of Adena? I don't know what that has to do with anything.
Answer the question.
- I'd go to the Duane Reade - [laughing.]
On my corner.
But I'm an only child.
I don't poop in front of anyone.
And I don't see what pooping has to do with fertility injections.
It's something that has to be done, and just because it's happening doesn't mean that Ryan needs to be there.
I already have a plan.
His hockey team is in the playoffs.
He's busy, and once hockey season is over, I'll be done with this, and we are back to where we were.
Non-stop "ucking.
" [upbeat music.]
Is that how you "uck"? How you doing? I'm good.
Yeah, better.
- What about you? - I'm I'm great.
So last night I got into one of those obligatory "is social media good or bad?" debates, and you came up on the side of good.
Kat, your #BeReal campaign has exploded, it's incredible.
I mean, look, look.
- That's crazy.
- Break-ups, unemployment, health issues.
I mean, it's amazing.
- I keep scrolling.
- Oh, hold on.
- What? - Yeah, just go back up.
- This? - Yeah.
"After 30 years, my bar is being shut down.
"I'm devastated that the safe haven I've created for queer women will be gone forever.
" You know this place, Wild Susan? Yeah, it Adena took me there once, and it's kind of become my spot.
[pensive music.]
I'm gonna be in and out today.
Cover when needed.
Text when necessary.
- Call when don't call.
- Okay.
- Where you going? - Out.
I'm gonna need you to run point on the prom-themed shoot.
- I will not be there.
- And it's all set? - Models, photographers booked? - Yes.
We can effectively memorialize the most traumatic night of my youth.
Oh, no.
You hated prom? - I don't call.
- 'Kay, bye! [upbeat music.]
- Hi, Jane.
- Hi.
Sorry, I didn't want to interrupt.
Oh, not at all.
I did this incredible retreat at Kripalu and they taught me mini-meditations.
Five minutes and I'm fully aligned with the present moment.
And here for you, so go.
I'm starting my egg-freezing process this week.
- Obsessed.
- Good.
Because I'm writing a piece on it.
Wait, Jane.
So what's your angle? Demystifying the egg-freezing process.
Mm.
Yeah, needs a little bit more.
No problem.
It's probably better for the magazine anyway.
Remember, you write for the dot-com.
I really want this one for the dot-com, - so we just need to plus it up.
- [scoffs.]
Plus it up? Plus up the challenges of my medical condition? Yeah, next-level it.
Find a fresh angle.
Once you figure that out, then you can write your piece.
Okay.
Thanks, Jane.
[funky music.]
Jacqueline.
Andrew told me you wanted to talk? Yes, I saw that you are reaching out to Cardi B for digital's new date-night column.
I was hoping that maybe you could hold off on that, because we're trying to get Cardi for a feature in the magazine, and it's kind of an either/or situation.
Wow.
Do you have a problem with that? No, I'm just a little surprised.
Patrick, it's really important that digital and print work well together, especially since we're sharing resources You misunderstand.
Of course, I will hold off on Cardi B.
I'm just a little surprised that digital and print are throwing elbows for the same talent.
Mm, I gotta up my game.
"Plus it up"? Egg-freezing is emotional, and hard, and plenty plussed-up.
Okay, look, I know you don't like the guy, but you have to admit it's pretty cool that he authorized a field trip to Wild Susan.
I want you guys to see how great it is.
Hey, do you guys think it's weird that I don't want Richard's housekeeper doing my laundry? - That's insane.
- Yes.
I bet he's had a housekeeper his whole life.
Well, I've had a housekeeper my whole life.
I had my aunt come over and help my brother and I clean the house, but my life goal is to be successful enough to never have to do my own laundry again.
Not only have I never had a housekeeper, but in 12th grade I almost was one at a hotel.
- What happened? - Failed the drug test.
[indistinct chatter.]
I don't get it.
I mean, this place is packed.
- Why is it closing? - It's a scam.
They say we owe 42 grand to the state liquor authority, but the fines are 20 years old and we didn't even know about them.
Most of it is penalty.
We can't afford that.
So, why did they come up now? Owner, city, developer, they want to gentrify the neighborhood, so they dug them up.
Now we have to pay them all at once or we're in breach of our lease.
It was a good run, but we're done.
Thank you.
- That sucks.
- Yeah.
You know, I love going to straight bars with you guys, I do, but I'm still finding myself and finding my place, and having a bar like this has been really great.
And now they're gonna tear it down to build a luxury condo.
Well, you know what, we can go to other lesbian bars with you.
- Mm-hmm.
- Well, you know, this is actually one of only two lesbian bars in the city.
- What? - You're kidding.
It's ridiculous.
You know what, I'm texting my lawyer.
- [both laugh.]
- You have a lawyer? I do.
She did #BeReal and hated her firm and quit, and we DM'd.
And now I have a lawyer.
- Do I need a lawyer? - Yeah.
- [phone buzzes.]
- Oh, no.
I gotta go.
- Sorry.
- What? [electronic music.]
Hey.
So, um, we really have to get going.
Is Deirdre ready? Why did Oliver book Nick Chassen? Because he's great at doing make-up.
Yeah, well, Nick's also the guy she caught blowing her boyfriend last Christmas.
Oliver knew that.
What was he thinking? Give me one second.
Hey, Deirdre.
Well, see you practicing that smolder.
Let's get you some of that genius face-painting.
Yeah, try Bob Ross, because if she's the model then you're losing the best make-up artist in town.
Best at blowing guys too drunk to care.
- Trust me, he cared.
- Oh.
- Screw this.
- Fine.
Oh, no, no.
Um, guys! Okay.
Hey, can you give me ten minutes - and I can figure this out? - No, you won't.
I can't believe Oliver booked them together.
I'm billing for this time.
[indistinct chatter.]
Actually, the thing is, they're all very distinct.
It makes my job relatively easy.
- Hey.
- Hi.
What are you doing here? I just had a meeting with Trish.
My editor.
I have a book deal.
Oh, I know Trish.
She she's great.
She just did Marina's book.
Abromavic.
- Right, yeah.
- I'm sorry.
Do you two know each other? Well, we just met, but I loved his column in "Pinstripe" and I'm super into the fact that he's dating you.
Good times.
Uh, we should all go back to work.
Well, maybe we are working.
I mean, isn't that the cool thing about being a writer, you could argue that every life moment is material? No, not every life moment.
- It's debatable.
- Agree to disagree.
You agreeing to disagree with me - is material.
- That doesn't make sense.
Pitch: You two should write about your egg-freezing process together.
- Cool.
- No.
Think about it: Two brilliant writers, who are a couple, going through this monumental change together.
You could really dig in, explore the hopes around it, the fears.
Well, I hope [laughs.]
that this isn't happening.
Well, I really want it to, so - I'm afraid that it is, okay? - We'll make it work.
Good.
Looking forward to it.
- Good meeting you, Ryan.
- You, too.
Thanks for the gig.
[rousing music.]
So, how do you want to do this? Should we take turns typing? Or maybe one of us controls the keyboard.
Who am I kidding, that's all you.
[laughs.]
Yeah, that's probably best.
I think it would be really helpful if you broke it all down for me, explained the whole process so far.
Also, I'd really love to get a schedule of all of your doctor's visits, your injections.
I wanna be there for all of it.
Also, I want to talk about side-effects.
Are you experiencing mood swings because of all the hormones, or is it more physical stuff like bloating, cramping? You know, I don't really think that approaching it this way makes sense.
So is that a "yes" on the mood swings? Okay, well, what's your angle? Well, um [sighs.]
I was thinking it could be a he-said, she-said? Go off on our own, write from our own perspectives.
I mean, you're Pinstripe, right? Actually, that was always your nickname for me.
- Not really mine, but okay.
- I just mean Patrick really loved your column, and, uh, we can't have sex for ten days.
That's something you could write about.
Well, that's not really an angle that interests me.
Jane, I know we've never written together before, but I think this could be a really cool bonding experience.
We could be like Michael Chabon and Ayelet Waldman, only with less micro-dosing.
I don't really think this story lends itself to that.
[phone buzzes.]
Okay.
- Um - I'm so sorry.
I forgot I have a meeting.
Um but look, it's gonna be great and I can't wait to see what you come up with.
All right, Sloan, however you want to do it.
But you still have to keep me looped in on the process.
I wanna know what's going on here.
Yeah, um, absolutely.
You'll be looped.
Happy writing.
[soft electronic music.]
Hello.
- Hi.
- Sutton.
It's a coincidence, I was just about to call Oliver.
I heard there was an issue at the prom shoot.
Right, yes.
Unfortunately, we walked right into some model drama.
Oh.
And Oliver didn't step in? I tried to fix it.
Lesson learned.
Don't be a hero.
Especially when there's tens of thousands of dollars at stake.
Yes.
Um, Oliver and I are are working on it.
Good, because I have eight pages that need to be filled by tomorrow, midnight.
[soft dramatic music.]
- And our car is here.
- I'll be right down.
- You okay? - Yeah.
Yeah, I got it.
Um, I'm gonna go get some coffee.
I'm probably gonna be here late tonight.
All right, well, I'll be waiting up with a ice-cold martini for you.
You're number one.
Hey.
Skinny latte with cinnamon.
Extra sweet, just like you.
Well, I'm sure you've heard by now that the photo shoot was a little bumpy.
I heard.
Well, I checked, and since the model walked off, the agency has to offer a replacement at no cost, and I figured we could use an up-and-coming make-up artist to save a little bit of money there Sounds good.
Actually, it's not great.
- Jacqueline was pretty upset.
- Well, it came up unplanned.
So, um, it's handled.
I'm gone for the day.
You're leaving again? Where are you going? I'm going out, Sutton.
Stop asking where.
Out.
I'm sorry.
[tense music.]
Look photo shoots sometimes implode.
We're allowed a misstep every now and then.
Just get the shoot done by 10:00 a.
m.
tomorrow, get me the proofs to approve by 8:00 p.
m.
, or those photos won't make the issue's close.
Neither of us need that.
[phone buzzes.]
- - [sighs.]
So my lawyer said before trying an injunction I should talk to my city councilman, see if you can help.
The Wild Susan is a really important bar.
It is, and I am committed to District 1 remaining inclusive for our queer community.
That's great.
- But I'm not sure I can help.
- Really? Look, I'll admit the fines are onerous and unfortunate, but I can't have scofflaws.
And every penny that we don't collect is a penny we don't have for necessary social services - that improve this district.
- Well, sure, but there's gotta be something they can do.
Yeah, come up with the $42,000.
Other than that, I'm sorry.
It's really the best I can do.
How do we raise $42,000 for the Wild Susan in one week? Um, crowdfunding.
You know, the first five people to put money in get free drinks forever.
Hey.
I am back from being prodded.
- That romance faded quickly.
- No, Dr.
Kelso.
- Oh.
- I got my ovaries checked.
- And we're all good.
- Good.
Did your, uh, writing partner happen to join you? He did not.
Look, I don't care what Patrick assigned us.
There's some lines I'm not willing to cross, and having my boyfriend witness my trans-vaginal ultrasound is one of them.
- Also pooping.
- Speaking of shit.
I think something's going on with Oliver.
He's been, like, totally out of it with this photo shoot thing.
And at first I thought it was because he hated his prom, you know? Just being gay in the '90s in Oklahoma.
- Oliver hated his prom.
- Yeah, I guess so.
Anyway, then he snapped at me, which was very strange.
He's never done that before.
I bet he felt like he didn't belong.
At his prom? Maybe.
- I'd redo that night if I could.
- [laughs.]
- I think a lot of people would.
- You guys, what if we threw a prom at the Wild Susan? Except it's-it's like a a charity event.
We charge admission, we get donations, we invite a bunch of people with a lot of coins.
I love that.
We have so many prom dresses and so many prom decorations.
- Let's do prom.
- Not just any prom.
Queer prom.
We go we go pandemonium [upbeat music.]
Oh, man.
I'm gonna be late because I can't find anything and I have to be at work early for this prom re-shoot.
I thought Oliver hated morning shoots.
- "Eye-bags.
" - He does, but I'm taking over - this shoot, so - Really? After what happened the other day, doesn't that seem a little irresponsible? - Richard - Because it kind of does to me.
- I have it handled.
- Okay.
Hey, you wanna get dinner tonight? Wanna go to a lesbian bar? Kat is organizing a fundraiser to save the place from closing, and also it just happens to be prom themed.
So I would be your prom date? - Yeah.
- [laughs.]
[laughs.]
I feel a way Mm.
- Oh.
- What? You know what else I don't have? - What? - Underwear.
Oh, I know, you don't need 'em right now No, I don't have any clean underwear.
- Oh.
- Which is fine, 'cause - I'm doing laundry tonight.
- Sutton, this is stupid.
- Just let Fra - It's fine.
I'm gonna do laundry tonight.
Jump in my feet Thump in my chest Have fun.
That's what I need that's what I love That's what I want yeah Jump in my feet thump in my chest Dizzy in my head I caught a rush like I'm riding a bullet Kind of dangerous but I'm still gonna do it Headed for a wall but I'm gonna break through it - Hi.
- Hi, you're early.
Mm-hmm.
Just wanted to get a head start - on the day.
- Wow.
You're still on laundry strike? Yeah, and I'm sorry, but I can't just become a person who has who has a maid.
Yeah, that's great.
I've now seen both of my best friends' vaginas.
What? No, this is long enough.
And with backlighting, completely sheer.
- [gasps.]
- Trust me, Landing Strip, we're gonna go to the fashion closet - and get you some underwear.
- Okay.
Yep, we're good.
Bump in my feet thump in my chest Dizzy in my head La la la la la la la Hey, who do we have covering the Fenty roll-out? That would be Angie, or she might actually kill me.
- Yeah, I could see that.
- Yeah.
Hey, um, I've decided to host a fundraiser for Wild Susan.
- Oh, that's great.
- Yeah.
I was just wondering, do you think it would be okay if I tweet about it from the "Scarlet" account? Mm.
Fundraiser for a bar.
I think that might be a gray area for Safford Publications.
Well, it's a queer prom for anyone and everyone who feels like they missed out or wants a do-over.
And gray can very easily become black and white.
You can totally tweet about that.
- Thank you.
- Jacqueline, Kat's hosting a queer prom fundraiser.
You should totally come.
You'd get a kick out of that.
- That sounds fun.
- Oh, my God, you know who would love this is Sasha Velour.
Oh, yes.
She was a winner on "RuPaul's Drag Race.
" So smart, sexy.
She really is the perfect person to launch - our date-night column.
- Oh, yeah.
I'm familiar with "RuPaul's Drag Race.
" Really? If you need any help.
Oh, that's sweet, but I got this.
[punchy music.]
He's very passionate.
- Indeed he is.
- Yeah.
That shoot went pretty good, but still no Oliver? Nope.
I need an approved PO number now - or I'm getting paid in 2020.
- Okay.
[uneasy music.]
Oh, my God.
I am really worried about Oliver.
Something's definitely going on.
It's Oliver.
He's a rock.
- Rocks crumble, Jane.
- I don't think they do.
Where do you think sand comes from? The beach.
Who cares? It's Oliver.
These queer prom dresses are great.
ROYGBIV.
Anyway, I found court papers on Oliver's desk.
Wow.
What for? Well, I didn't want to be nosey er than I was being.
The thing is, Richard knows something is wrong, and he wants to talk to me about Oliver, and I want to talk to him because he's my boyfriend, but then I remember that Oliver is a "Scarlet" employee and Richard's a board member, and Hasn't that always been true, though? Yeah, but ever since we moved in together things have changed.
- The boundaries are blurry.
- [knocking on glass.]
- People knock now? - I like it.
People are starting to pick up on the fact that this is our room.
- Mm-hmm.
- Who is it? It's Ryan.
Come in.
Hi, ladies.
You have a second to talk? So, did you visit the doctor after we met yesterday? 'Cause, uh, I've been doing some research, and from everything that I've read, you're supposed to go every other day to monitor the egg growth.
- I did.
- Really? After we decided to write the article together? Um, after Patrick decided and you hopped on the bandwagon.
Okay, I thought it would be fun.
My egg-freezing is not fun for me.
That's not what I meant.
I why do I feel like you're hiding this from me? Because I am.
[sighs.]
I just did this.
I let Ben get involved in all this medical stuff and it became a huge part of our relationship, and it ruined everything.
I don't want that with you.
Jane, you're going through something right now.
What do you expect me to do? Just ignore it? Yes.
I appreciate everything you're doing, but this is about me.
It has nothing to do with you right now.
Yeah, except I'm dating you right now, and I told you I want to be involved.
I don't want you involved.
[sighs.]
I'm just trying to keep things with us from getting heavy and weird, okay? Right.
I don't think it's working.
I gotta go.
[bitter music.]
[sighs.]
[MNDR's "Gravity".]
Up on the wall down to the floor Work out our demons But the way we slam them doors Entre.
[giggles.]
'Cause love is like a warrior - Hi! - Hey! - Welcome to queer prom.
- Gay prom! - Whoo! - You guys look amazing.
- Look at this bowtie.
- Wow, is that velvet? - Yes, it is.
- You'll almost fit in.
- How's it going? - It's good.
You know, got a good turn-out, I'm wearing this dress that feels the correct amount of extra.
- Whoo! - Okay.
And oh, uh, Patrick didn't end up getting Sasha Velour, which was kind of disappointing, but - Mm.
- If you, uh, direct your attention to the vagina thermometer.
- Wow! - The night is young.
I would also like to say hello to my best friend's boyfriend, who has a lot of coins.
Right.
[clears throat.]
You can donate! It's a worthy cause.
Okay, okay, sure.
There.
- Hey! - Hey - And that's - Wow, Richie Rich.
You guys are all worth it.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
- Come on, get in here.
- All right.
- Please, enter.
- Jane.
- Why are you sad? - Oh, well, you know, it's prom but I can't sneak any booze and I have to leave early to take hormones, so - You know what you should do? - What? Dance, baby! Come on! Come with me! Come on, let's go! All around me My heart in agony when you're around me So why do you pull me down Why you pull me down why you pull me down Oh, it makes me so happy.
[punchy upbeat music.]
[camera shutter clicks.]
[laughter.]
- Oh, come on.
- - What? - [sighs.]
The only thing that Oliver has to do is approve the photos I already sent him to make this month's cover.
- And he hasn't? - I'm really sorry, but I'm gonna have to go deal with this right now.
Sutton, come on, this is getting ridiculous.
Just tell me what's going on.
Richard, you know that I can't.
I gotta go.
[upbeat pop music.]
Club soda? Yay.
So, prom.
Let me guess, you went to yours middle fingers up - [scoffs.]
- And you were Prom King.
I actually skipped my prom to stay home with my mother and watch reruns of "Full House.
" I, uh, didn't have a boyfriend or girlfriend in high school.
I guess I could have gone with friends, but I decided to play it safe.
I have been known to get in my way sometimes.
What about you? Uh, my prom was great.
I, uh, planned the whole thing all the way down to the soundtrack I lost my virginity to.
Oh, that's amazing.
It was, on paper.
I wasn't into my boyfriend anymore but I didn't want to admit it to myself.
And I chose my dream dress but it was itchy and hot, so none of it was real.
And I kind of wish it was.
Uh, I think I screwed things up with Ryan, so I'll get you that article, it just might take a little while.
Jane.
[bombastic music.]
Showtime Roll time Oh, my God.
[laughs.]
Okay, I am rolling, so it's possible that I am conjuring this, but did Sasha Velour just come to prom? - Oh, my God.
It's Sasha.
- I can't believe she's here.
Hi, I'm Kat.
Yeah, that's her.
Wait, you're rolling? Thank you so much for coming.
What is happening? Is is Jacqueline really friends with Sasha? Jacqueline's friends with everyone.
I know that you feelin' me Oh If you live this loud, show it Show it, show it - Hey.
- Oh, hi.
I'm fertility Cinderella, so I've gotta go.
Oh, your injection.
I was supposed to do that.
Oh, no, I can do it myself.
It's fine.
Hey, what you did here is really amazing.
Thanks.
You know, I've been so in my feelings lately.
It feels good to channel my energy into something that really matters, you know? - I'm proud of you.
- Hey.
- Oh, is that the councilman? - Yeah.
Well, that's a good sign that he came, right? Yeah.
All right, good luck.
- I love you.
- I love you, too.
Oh Oh Because you should know better [elevator dings.]
Good lord, what's happening? You would know if you responded to my texts.
- What are you doing here, Red? - We need to talk.
All right.
Well, my guests are just leaving.
See you later, Carly.
Aww [tender music.]
- Mm - Bye, Ollie.
[sighs.]
[sighs.]
These look good, by the way.
Thank you.
So you're probably wondering who that was.
Her name is Carly, and she's the daughter of an old friend.
A boyfriend.
We lived together for six years, and three of them were with Carly.
So, you're like her dad? I taught her how to Rollerblade, dance, accessorize [laughs.]
What's going on now? Uh, Jasper, my ex, used heroin before I knew him, and recently it's gotten the best of him.
Um, Carly's mom isn't in the picture, so Carly was headed for a group home, but I'm not having that.
So you're what? I'm applying to be her legal guardian.
- [soft laugh.]
- And we'll see, okay? The paperwork, the vetting, it's intense.
They don't make it any easier for a single gay black man.
I bet.
Oh, Oliver - I approve.
- [laughs.]
- [laughing.]
- Oh, thank goodness.
[laughs.]
[Kim Petras' "Heart to Break".]
Every time Gonna give you my heart to break Devilish Every kiss Gonna give you my heart to break [both laughing.]
- Should we get a drink? - Absolutely.
Can we get some champagne, please? - [soft laugh.]
- [sighs.]
- I love this.
- This is so great.
Both: Thank you.
- Thank you.
- Ah.
- Both: Cheers.
- Hi, Jacqueline.
Oh, Patrick.
Well, you were right.
I am getting a kick out of this prom.
I just have to tell you, I I'm, like, a huge fan.
- Yeah.
Just, yeah.
- Thanks.
So how do you two know each other? - Oh, um - [laughs.]
Well, I discovered Sasha when she was performing completely unknown in a little club right around the corner from our apartment, and Ian and I became superfans.
I was completely broke, but we hit it off.
Turns out Sasha is amazing with kids.
She needed a job, we needed a nanny, so she ended working for us - for two years.
- Best two years of my life.
And then the world finally discovered what we already knew.
- Brilliant.
- Stop.
Jacqueline told me all about your date-night column.
Sounds amazing.
Come find me on the dance floor when you're ready.
See you.
[soft laugh.]
Well, I feel stupid saying that I underestimated you, because you're Jacqueline Carlyle, but I did.
Puts you in good company.
- We live and learn.
- We do.
Okay, I'm gonna go get that interview.
Good idea.
Even if it means that I'll never Put myself back together Gonna give you my [soft tender music.]
- Hi.
- Hey.
What are you doing here? It's almost 10:30.
[soft tender music.]
So you missed hockey? I wanted to be here.
In case you needed help with your injection.
And if you don't, that's okay, too.
But I pushed you away.
Well, I came back.
I know you said you've tried this before and it was hard, but you haven't tried it with me.
[sighs.]
I just really like what we have right now.
I've never felt this way about anybody, and I wanted to protect that so badly that I tried to keep all the mess away.
But that's dumb because that's part of it all, right? Right.
[Elina's "Here With Me".]
It's funny how you wait till the moment comes Moment's here Moment's gone Kiss you heavy heavy but you know we ain't done yet [phone chiming.]
- [sighs.]
- Did you set an alarm for my injection? - Damn right, I did.
- [laughing.]
That's so sweet, but you're half an hour early.
Oh, that's just the first reminder.
There'll be another one at 10:30.
I got you, Jane.
And it's happening to hurt you And we're not even on drugs Why make things complicated When we could stay like that Why makes things so much harder We could be gone like that We'll come across them days that go Out their way to bring us down to our knees So for once baby for once Baby for once be here with me Hey.
$42,000 was a lot to ask.
But you got people out here.
Loud, proud, and enjoying themselves.
- Yeah.
- It's a victory.
We'll we're not done yet, so I know.
- Night, Kat.
- Night.
I love you when you love me but our boat is rocking Storm's right here let it in We'll keep it steady steady 'Cause you know we ain't done yet - Councilman Reynolds.
- Hi, Kat.
- So we made $20,000 tonight - That's good.
Do you think there's any way we can use that as partial payment, take care of the rest - at a later date? - I'm sorry, Kat.
It doesn't work that way.
- The developer's gonna put up - A luxury condo.
Yes, I'm aware.
I mean, look around.
People need this space, and they elected you, so we have to fight.
I'm sure the condo plans will include some open space.
- Open space? - Yeah.
In a luxury condo? What does that even mean? Think of it like a park.
Right.
You really don't care, do you? I mean you act like you do, you love a photo-op but when it comes to actually taking care of the interests of the people that live here, you really don't give a shit.
I'm sorry you feel that way, Kat.
What people like you see as gentrification, I see as neighborhood improvement.
Mm.
But I admire your passion.
'Cause it's those lights 'Cause we happen to be feeling all right Whatever happens got this feeling I like - Hey.
- Hey.
- Did you do my laundry? - I did.
I get that moving in is a big adjustment, and if you're not ready to have a housekeeper do your laundry, let me help you.
- I'm shocked.
- Not only do I know how to do it, I'm real good at it.
I did a ton of laundry when I was a kid.
What? I thought your family had a whole staff.
Yeah, but at boarding school if you wanted clean clothes you did laundry, and I picked up a lot of tips.
For instance, hot water doesn't get your clothes cleaner, it just fades the colors.
Wow.
Oh, wow, wow, wow.
Okay, let me ask you this: Did they also make you hose down the yachts after sailing? [laughing.]
But seriously, if I smell fabric softener on you, you're out, because that stuff's the worst.
Wow, I am learning so much about laundry, and you.
[Jessie Ware's "Alone".]
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
I'm sorry that I've been weird about work stuff.
I wanna tell you everything.
I just feel kind of like I'm betraying Oliver if I do.
And why is this happening now? I think 'cause we live together now.
Okay, well, from now on when we're in this space, in our home, I'm not Richard from the board.
I'm just your boyfriend.
Okay.
- You can be Richie.
- No, never Richie.
Nope.
- You could be Dick.
- Don't you dare.
[both laughing.]
Ricardo.
I can work with that.
Okay, come here then, why don't you go ahead and tell Ricardo - how was your day? - Well it was pretty incredible.
- Do tell.
- Yeah.
Could talk about how messy it gets when all of the kind of health stuff - started happening.
- Absolutely.
So how that got kind of messy and awkward and weird and Oh-oh-oh Move.
I want to write.
[vocalizing.]
Just want to talk a little longer So baby don't you want to stay - A little later - 'Cause I could watch you Watch me forever 'Cause I know you better - I don't want to hurt you.
- It's fine.
Who's taking me home? Me home [syringe clicking.]
- Ow! - Oh, my God! [laughing.]
[sighs.]
That is not funny.
[laughs.]
Who's taking me home? So I can get you alone