The Boondocks s03e06 Episode Script

Smokin With Cigarettes

I am the stone that the builder refused I am the visual, the inspiration that made lady sing the blues I'm the spark that makes your idea bright the same spark that lights the dark so that you can know your left from your right I am the ballot in your box, the bullet in the gun the inner glow that lets you know to call your brother son the story that just begun the promise of what's to come and I'ma remain a soldier till the war is won chop chop chop judo flip chop chop chop judo flip Can you tell me your name? Lamilton.
And your last name? Taeshawn.
How old are you, Lamilton? Lamilton, do you know why you're here? Yes.
Why are you here? 'Cause I'm a bad kid.
I do bad things.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Yo-ho ho! Lamilton! Yo, where you get this? I stole my grandmother's car.
You said you do bad things.
What kind of bad things do you do? I don't listen to my grandmother, and I hurt people, and I smoke with cigawettes.
You smoke with cigawettes? Do I smoke with "cigawettes"? Man, I be smokin' with "cigawettes" all the time.
Look out, nigga! Ooh! You smoke with cigarettes? Yeah.
Can I have one? No, you can't have a cigarette, Lamilton.
Young boys aren't supposed to smoke with cigarettes.
They can make your lungs sick.
I don't care about my lungs.
It's fun to smoke.
I like doing unhealthy things.
Watch where you're going! Excuse me! Man, what you just hit? I don't care if I hit stuff.
It's fun to hit stuff.
I -- I lied.
I don't really smoke with "cigawettes.
" You said that sometimes you hurt people.
How do you hurt people? Hit them.
How? Punch them.
Hit them in the face and in the stomach.
Or grab their arm and yank it till it breaks.
Hey! Yo, it's the cops.
Good.
Now for a high-speed chase.
How do you feel about those people you hurt? I don't care nothing about those people.
What if you killed them? I don't care.
Aah! Let me out the car, bitch! Let me out the car! Aah! Get out of the car with your hands up now! Please step out of the vehicle! [bleep.]
Hey, a-anybody see the guy who did all this? Why did you do bad things? 'Cause it's fun.
It's fun to do bad things.
Ow! Ow! You've got a lot of nerve riding around in a stolen car with some hooligan! Like I wasn't gonna whup your narrow behind! Granddad, please stop! Stop, granddad! I swear to God! Granddad, please, you killing me! Stop! What the hell you doing smoking with cigarettes?! Oh, God, please! Jesus, please, help me.
Help me, Jesus, please.
Oh, shut up! From now on, you don't talk to Lamilton Taeshawn, you don't see Lamilton Taeshawn, you don't even think about Lamilton Taeshawn! Do you understand me?! I understand! I understand! I promise! Good.
Now, I want you to sit there and think about how stupid you are.
I'm going to sleep.
That ain't hurt.
Lamilton Taeshawn is not a typical 8-year-old.
While most kids in his neighborhood were at home playing video games, he was leaving a path of destruction behind the wheel of an S.
U.
V.
he stole from his grandmother.
And I came into the kitchen, and I saw my keys were gone, and I thought, "oh [bleep.]
" I can't believe granddad wouldn't let me do no interviews.
Lamilton blowing up over this.
I bet he get his own tv show.
Ooh! I bet he do! Lamilton, where were you going? I went and drove to pick up my friend, and he smokes with cigawettes.
Once he picked up his friend, another unidentified 8-year-old, the two went on a nearly fatal rampage through the Woodcrest area.
Lamilton, what about the people you could have hurt? I don't care nothing about those people.
I wanted to do hoodrat stuff with my friends.
See, you have to understand, all children his age love stealing cars and going on high-speed chases.
Now, Lamilton, why exactly did you steal your grandmother's car? 'Cause it's fun.
It's fun to do bad things.
Riley, don't you think that kid seems a littleOff? "Off" like how? "Off" like "not quite normal.
" See, that's your problem.
You want to be normal like everybody else.
But, see, me and Lamilton, we want to be different from normal.
We want to be abnormal.
We just do whatever, no matter what nobody say.
I'm-a do what I want to do whenever, whatever.
What?! Shut the hell up before I come down there and beat you till you pee on yourself again! I do what I want to do.
Coming! Damn it.
Who is it? It's that damn crazy kid with some old woman.
What do I do? I don't want that crazy little nigga in my house.
Okay, think.
Got to stall for a plan.
Uh, who is it? It's Lamilton and his grandmother, Mr.
Freeman.
[bleep.]
That didn't buy me no time.
Just see what they want, granddad.
I don't care what they want.
I don't want these crazy people in my life.
This is so unfair.
Why me? All right! One second.
I'm sorry to bother you, Mr.
Freeman, but I know it was your grandson smoking with cigarettes in the car with Lamilton, and I just thought he should come over here and apologize for putting Riley in danger like that.
Oh, that's not really necessary.
Can we leave now? Yes.
No! Now get in that house right now and get ready to start apologizing.
That's not -- I don't even want that to happen.
Lamilton, I said, "get in that house!" And I want to apologize to all of you for what I did.
It was very wrong, and I am very sorry.
I just would like to move on and lead a normal life.
You know, get a job and a wife and change my ways.
And I hope this apology impresses you even though my grandmother made me do it and I don't really mean it.
You mean you do mean it.
I mean I do mean it.
I don't think he means it.
Look, Mr.
Freeman, I just would hate for you to feel like you had to stop Riley and Lamilton from being friends because of this.
Please, Riley is the nicest boy Lamilton's ever been friends with.
That kid's more trouble than I thought.
Well, I appreciate the apology, but -- please, Mr.
Freeman, Lamilton is not a bad child, I swear.
He's an a/b student.
He helps me around the house.
Most of the time, he's no problem.
Mm-hmm.
He just has some anger-management issues, you know? Mm-hmm.
And when he was little, all he ever saw was domestic abuse between his mother and his father, his uncles, his aunties, his cousins.
Mm-hmm.
And I just been trying to get him some help.
And then when he was 5, I remember his mother was drinking heavily at the time And his father had just been laid off from his job at Popeye's And there was a lot of tension in the house.
And he just wanted to have a little fun.
I mean, he's a little boy, and sometimes they're going to get in trouble.
Okay, okay, fine! Fine, the boys can still be friends.
But now, if you'll excuse me, we have some very important TiVo to watch.
Don't want to miss it.
Thank you, and please, no need to ever come back again, ever.
Cheers.
So, me and Lamilton can still be friends? Hell no! I ever catch you around that fat [bleep.]
again, I'm gonna chain you to the bedpost! And I ain't playing with you! Lamilton Taeshawn is back in the news.
Two weeks ago, he achieved nationwide fame for stealing a car at the tender age of 8.
And now he's assaulted his grandmother at a local Walli-mart.
According to witnesses, Lamilton asked his grandmother to buy him some fried chicken.
When she refused, he got angry.
Here he is assaulting his grandmother again and again and yet again.
Then he stops, walks to the counter to order the chicken, then goes back to beat on his grandmother some more.
Lamilton, did you hit your grandmother? Yeah, I beat her ass.
But why? 'Cause I asked for some fried chicken, and she said no.
What she expect? Lamilton's grandmother wants the public to give Lamilton another chance.
You have to understand, he really likes that fried chicken.
Hey, did you see me on tv? Hell yeah.
Man, I really like how you handled yourself on the news.
You wasn't apologetic or nothing.
I'm gonna be a famous superstar.
I want to be famous for doing bad things.
Yeah.
My granddad tried to tell me I couldn't hang out with you no more, but I was like, "man, we do what we want to do.
" We gots the juice.
I don't never listen to nobody.
If somebody gives me good advice, I do the opposite thing.
So, what you want to do now? Let's have some more fun.
Okay.
Yo, you my nigga don't never forget it if you need it and I got it Ohh! You need it, I ain't got it we can go get it 'cause you my dude so, whatever, I'm with it Oh, God! It's urine and hot sauce! Never second-guessing Mama, mama.
You always like Aah! But you my homey, though we go toe-to-toe Hey, hey! Aah! Hey, it's getting late.
I need to head home.
I want to do more bad things.
Nah, man, I'm out.
I said I want to do more bad things! Come on! Yo, what's wrong with you, man? I said I'm through.
I'm going home.
Riley! Man, I'm sorry.
Look, we ain't got to do nothing else.
Let's just go back to my house and watch movies.
A'ight, fine.
Is this the Freeman residence? Depends.
You asking for money? No, I'm -- Jehovah witness.
No.
Police? No, sir.
But there is an urgent matter I need to speak with you about.
It's about your grandson.
May I come in? S-sure.
My name is Dr.
Doomus.
I'm a school counselor at point pleasant elementary.
I want you to know that Lamilton is no ordinary juvenile delinquent.
He's something far, far worse.
Far worse? How far worse? I first met Lamilton three years ago, when he started kindergarten.
I saw this 5-year-old child with a blank, emotionless face, and eyes that had absolutely no compassion in them.
No conscience whatsoever.
I spent the first year trying to help him and the last two years trying to have him locked away forever with no hope of release.
Because I realized that what was living behind that boy's eyes wasNot human.
Oh, man, I knew it! I should have never listened to that old woman and her old [bleep.]
sob story.
Now we have to kill him before he kill us.
Exactly right.
No! Wait.
What? Some people just got to die.
That's all I'm saying.
So, you want to kill him for something he might do.
Well, you a doctor.
If you say we should kill him for the sake of our own health, doesn't that mean we allowed to? I wish.
They won't even lock him up.
They want to wait until an innocent person gets hurt first.
But it's only a matter of time.
You must protect Riley.
Well, I've already told Riley he can't be friends with Lamilton, so that's that.
He wouldn't dare.
Believe that.
No, Mr.
Freeman.
Riley is with Lamilton as we speak.
Ah.
Aah! Yo, why you watch this stuff all the time? I like watching people get hurt.
It looks fun to me.
I want to hurt people.
Yah! Aah! Whatever, nigga.
It's getting late.
Wait! I want to show you something.
It's my grandmother's.
Hold on.
Ooh.
Hey, Riley, check this out.
Yo! Yo, man! Watch where you point that thing! My grandmother has it in case of burglars.
She told me never to touch it, so I'm touching it.
Man, you need to be careful with that! Now we can do anything we want.
We could take whatever we want, and we could hurt whoever we want.
Let's go.
Yo, you trippin'.
I'm going home.
I said, "let's go!" I don't want to hear no more excuses.
I want that little psycho bastard out of our lives for good.
That's that.
Time for me to lay down the law.
Hey, boy, listen up! You know what, granddad? I've been hanging out with Lamilton even though you told me not to, and I don't think I'm gonna do that no more.
I just need to go to my room where I belong, no tv, no dinner, no nothing.
I might even need to whup myself.
Good night, y'all.
Well, you better not break my belt! Where you been, Riley? Uh I've been real busy.
When are we gonna hang out again and do bad things? My granddad won't let me, a'ight? He said we can't be friends no more.
But I say we're still friends.
Okay.
But my granddad says we not.
Well, I say we are.
So come on.
Whose house is this? It's Betty Von Hausen's.
She an evil old white woman with a whole bunch of guns.
Why? What you want to do to her? Rob it, take all her stuff.
Rob it?! Hell no! Stop being scared.
Man, this is stupid.
We both gonna go to jail for this.
They can't send me to jail.
I been on tv.
I'm a superstar.
What was that? Oh, snap! Aah! Come here, boy.
I got something for you.
Yo, man, forget this.
Lamilton, you on your own! Oh [bleep.]
.
Yo, yo, we got to go! Come on! What'd you shoot the dog for?! Hey, he got loose.
He was about to bite me.
You lying! He was chained up! Man, you sick! I think you don't want to be friends no more.
I think you gonna tell on me for shooting a dog.
Man, I ain't no snitch, but you got problems, yo! Just stay away from me, man! Riley.
Riley! Lamilton Taeshawn was apprehended today for shooting a Woodcrest resident's dog.
Yeah, boy! They got him! Ha ha! They finally got him! Boys, come quick! He shot Betty Von hausen's dog.
Oh, I always hated that dog! Even though he's only 8 years old, police decided to arrest Lamilton so they can get him into the system and get him the help he so desperately needs.
He's in the system.
Oh, how I love the system.
Let's hope they keep his ass in the system forever! Whoo! My tax dollars hard at work.
Whoo! That's some good news.
Good news system, system, stay in the system system, system, stay in the system Yeah! You're wondering how they found out Lamilton shot that dog.
I told them.
But how did you know? I was following you and Lamilton.
I saw what happened.
I know he forced you to be there against your will.
Well, why didn't you give the cops your name? A year ago, Lamilton's grandmother filed a restraining order against me.
Said I was obsessed, disturbed, icky.
Oh, man.
Now he gonna think I snitched.
Don't you understand?! He's in the system! He can't hurt you now! They're going to lock him away forever, with no hope of release.
And now we add 1 to 7 and 3.
Holy [bleep.]
Look! Riley.
He was just there! I swear! Riley Freeman, I have no patience for your potty mouth today.
I'll see you in detention.
Mr.
Freeman, I have terrible news.
They've let him go.
Who? Lamilton? Yes! But I thought he was in the system.
The fools let him go.
He's out of the system?! Oh, no! Huey, he's out of the system! Grab my shotgun! They said they didn't have enough evidence to hold him.
Granddad, what's going on? Lamilton Taeshawn escaped.
Go grab my pistol with the silver bullets.
He's not a werewolf, granddad.
Shh! Hush, little nigga.
If Riley is home with you, don't let him out of your sight.
Riley's not home.
He's in detention.
Meet me at the school right away! We must hurry! You have no idea what we're dealing with.
Okay, let's go.
Huey, grab the wooden stake.
And my holy water! Yo! What the -- - 'Sup, Riley? What's wrong with you, man? Why you sneaking up on niggas? And what you doing here? You don't even go to this school.
How come you told on me? Riley, I thought we was friends.
Yo, I didn't tell on you, man, and this ain't funny no more.
Stay away from me, a'ight?! I ain't playing with you! You crazy, and you need help! Everybody says I'm crazy.
But I don't care.
I don't care about my grandmother.
I don't care about that dog.
And I don't even care about myself.
And since we ain't crew no more, I don't even care about you.
A'ight, chill, man.
Look, I was trippin', all right? We still crew? Let's go hang out like we used to.
Really? You promise? Yeah.
We -- we'll do whatever you want.
Okay.
Cool.
Look out! Hey! Watch it! That's it.
No more gun.
Now what you gonna do? Used to use the two, too but don't got to shoot you still leave with your hand wrapped almost bulletproof the lyrics is the proof 'cause the flow would surround me the gangster fakeness done niggas ain't this the lead in your belly like feeding paint chips no more contests on who's the nicest challenge my flow bring floatation devices start back casing you know who you're facing? leave a mark over your eyes, like punctuation can love from band broads with banners on them get flashed in the street like red lights with cameras Hey, hey, hey! What's going on here?! What's going on over there?! Oh, just two niggas killing each other.
Proceed.
Aah! Lamilton! Riley, pull me up! I'm trying, but You really fat.
Riley, don't drop me.
I'm sorry I tried to kill you.
I have problems with my anger.
You got problems with your weight, too.
Boy! Granddad! There he is! I'm coming! Hold on! No! No! You must let him die! Aah! You killed him.
He deserved to die.
He's gone.
No, wait.
He's right there.
He's still alive?! No! No! Aah! You're the spawn of satan! I must destroy you! Get off me! Somebody call my grandmother! You're not supposed to be within 100 yards! Well, that's that.
Let's go home.
Yo, man.

Previous EpisodeNext Episode