The Boss Baby: Back in Business (2018) s01e04 Episode Script

Formula for Menace: A Dekker Moonboots Mystery

1 [grunts] Hold all my calls.
[giggling] [music] Boss Baby I'm the boss, Boss Baby Boss boss, Boss Baby, boss boss - Boss Baby - Watch a itty-bitty kid get large I'm the big Boss Baby in charge Stroller rolling Up and down the boulevard I'm the big Boss Baby in charge - Boss Baby - I run this house, I rule this crib Change my diaper, son, where's my bib? Don't pacify, you just got to pay me Who's in charge? Me, the Boss Baby.
Teddy bears! You want one, I want one.
The people want one.
I want one! I want one! But what if you also want a soft, cuddly elephant? - I do.
I want both! - Enter the Inter-Custo-Plushie 1-9-B, all the animals that tickle a baby's fancy in one body.
Sure, a teddy bear makes babies happy, but the ICP 1-9-B will make babies do that face where they look so excited, they can't breathe.
[coos] That's the face we're aiming for, people.
Maximize baby cuteness, you maximize baby love.
We're running a full field test of every plushy combo.
Staci, octo-bear with antlers.
Jimbo, elephant-faced panda seal.
I love it.
What is it? Doesn't matter.
I'll try out rhino-moose-bear [snores] Boss? Boss! [grunts] Trickle-down economics! Wait, what happened? You fell a night-night.
- [gasps] On the job? - No judgment, sir.
Everybody naps.
Everybody naps at nap time, not on the clock.
That's [snores] [grunts, sucking] - Can I stop making the face now? - No! [groans] Okay.
[snorts] Giraffes are a lie.
[gasps] Again? Something's wrong.
One nap, nobody's perfect, but two? It's unnatural.
We need to get to the bottom of this.
Track down every possible source of whatever's making me sleepy: climate control problems, gas leak from diaper disposal, some sort of subliminal Eh? Oh how long was I out? I don't know, but things got worse.
- Worse? - [drawls] Way worse.
- Agh! - I know, right? What happened to my voice? Why am I talking like this? There's more.
Jimbo, did you eat a second, smaller Jimbo? - [grunts] My diaper pinches.
- So it's not just me.
Something and/or someone did this to us.
But why? And/or who? Bootsy Calico? But there's no kitten angle.
And we've been here the whole time.
Bootsy's got no access to Baby Corp.
No.
We have to think outside the box.
Big ideas! No theory too wild! Let's do this! - Why am I holding a crayon? - You fell asleep for, like, two hours.
- What? - But don't worry.
We still brainstormed some pretty big ideas.
Two hours and you two made one drawing of Bootsy Calico with a stinky head? Actually, boss, you drew the stinky lines, in your sleep.
We already ruled out Bootsy Calico.
I said, outside-the-box ideas.
[grunts] Where's the original thinking? Sir, we work for a large corporation.
Look around you.
- There is no imagination.
- I don't buy it.
[loudly] Hey, what's everybody wearing to work tomorrow? [all] Professional business attire! - [groans] Sassy-voice Staci is right.
- [Staci] Duh.
We need someone with more imagination.
And I know just the man.
[Tim] Bring it on, space creeps.
It'll take more than space garbage to stop Dekker Moonboots, space detective! - [thumping] - Templeton! We've got a mystery on our hands at Baby Corp.
A mystery, you say? What kind? The kind that needs a special brand of crazy.
Dekker Moonboots crazy? Let's talk supplies.
I'm gonna need a whole set of those markers that smell like food.
- Done.
- And a spinny chair.
- We'll see what we can do.
- Animal crackers, - no rhinos.
- They all taste the same.
Danny Petrosky said his uncle ate a rhino, and his stomach exploded.
Danny is a liar and a moron.
We gonna argue about animal crackers, or am I gonna solve a space mystery? Fine! Unusual problems call for unusual solutions, and you are nothing if not [snoring] - Whoa! - Careful, sir! - [gasps, yells] - [Jimbo] Boss! - [screams] - [snorts, gasps] Wait, that's your mystery? Voice changing, getting bigger, - needing extra naps? - [snores] You have theories? - Hit me, Moonboots.
- [sighs] There's no mystery.
- You're having a growth spurt.
- I'm not following.
It's what happens when you grow up.
Your body changes, and the little factory inside goes, "Toot-toot! Break time!" - When did my body go union? - You need extra naps because - your body's working so hard at growing.
- Impossible.
Hmm.
Are you having other symptoms? Uh, little bit of baby acne on my tush.
Staci says I'm having mood swings, but Staci can't see inside of me! You don't know everything! I want to be a dancer! [sobs] - [gasps] I'm growing up.
- [sighs] You didn't need Dekker Moonboots, but I will take those markers that smell like food.
[sniffs] Ooh, hot dog.
No, Templeton, this is literally impossible.
All Baby Corp employees drink a special formula.
Yeah, it's supposed to keep us babies forever.
Something went wrong.
It wouldn't be just us aging.
- It'd be - [voices yelling] - [baby] What's happening? - the whole office.
[staff wailing] - Has my voice always sounded like this? - Aah! My shoes stretching! Why are my feet enlargening? [grunting] - [crashes] - [snores] - We're really growing up.
- [gasps] - No, no, no, no, no! Make it stop! - [Staci gasps] How is this happening? It's a mystery! Dekker Moonboots is back! Whee! Mega Fat CEO Baby demands your attention! Make the opening small talk "blah-blah" for me.
Imagine this announcement has started with a humorous anecdote and laugh appropriately! [chuckling] No, you love me the most, and you! Hey there! Okay, I understand some of you are changing and just acting like real grown-ups.
As CEO, let me assure you, change is totally normal.
- Nature has a way of sorting things out.
- [chuckling] Thank goodness.
That's why I'm going to fire everyone who's aging.
Let's say, by end of business today.
Why not? - [staff yelling] - [alarm blaring] This is a baby corporation.
If you can't handle your baby formula, you have no business here.
Again, normal, nature's way.
Peace out.
- [baby] No! - You are all expendable! [group screaming] I gotta go hide.
- Oh, curse my comically large feet! - [screaming] I'm terrified.
Stop that.
Stop panicking! You're making me emotional! [snores, gasps] Oh, my acne.
- Everyone, calm down! - Oof! We'll figure this out before anyone gets fired.
- Whee! - Moonboots, good call on the aging.
So, new mystery.
Wow us with that outside-the-box thinking.
What's wrong with the formula? Bad batch? Past its expiration date? Here's how I see it: a race of aliens that age backwards, old folks to babies.
They're trying to change your formula so they can be old forever.
Their company? Old Alien Baby Corp.
- It's on Mars.
- Uh, take one step back inside the box.
Or Vent Babies.
"Vent Babies"? They live in your air vents and steal your formula.
[whispers] They could be watching us right now.
Stop talking.
You said, "Steal our formula"? Well, Old Alien Baby Corp was built in the Martian year 74 billion This was no accident.
Someone's tampered with the formula! OMG! [gulps] - I'm a growing boy! - Hyuh! [slurping, swishing] [slurps, gargling] Their methods are unorthodox, but darn it, they get results.
[gargling] [spits] The formula's been tainted.
- [spits] Super tainted.
- [deep voice] I concur.
Normal Baby Corp formula, vanilla milkshake.
You separated them in your mouth? Oh yeah! We get it! You have a super cool deep voice now.
So someone did tamper with the formula.
The vanilla milkshake must've thrown off the effect, - causing rapid aging.
- Dekker Moonboots, you've done it again.
Case closed.
Theme song.
We solved some space crimes And had some great times You didn't solve anything.
We don't know who changed the formula.
We're still growing up.
And Mega Fat CEO Baby is going to fire half this company.
Wait of course! Who benefits from all this? The one who jumps at any chance - to fire employees just to shake things up? - You don't think? - No, I know who tainted the formula.
- [both] Mega Fat CEO Baby! Old Alien Baby Corp or possibly Vent Babies! I'm putting extra rhinos in your animal crackers.
- Don't you dare.
- Why are we always fighting? Ahem.
Sorry.
Mood swing.
But seriously, no point bickering.
- We need proof Mega Fat CEO Baby - Or my ideas That Mega Fat CEO Baby is behind this.
Time to hit formula storage.
Yay! [grunting] - [all groaning] - Maybe we'll split up.
Formula storage was darker than the black hole of Sector 2-72.
You have to keep doing that? You knew what you getting into when you hired Dekker Moonboo - [grunts] - [whizzes] [hissing] - Space goblin! - Destroy it! Hi! I'm Frankie from formula storage.
[giggles] So nice to see you.
Just working on inventory.
Uh, hi there, Frankie.
I'm, uh Boss Baby, in charge of field operations.
- I know who you are.
- Uh-huh.
Well, uh, Frankie, my associate and I are investigating some tainted formula.
Have there been any break-ins here recently? No, sir.
None that I know of.
Oh, really? No mysterious intruders messing with the formula? - [stammers] I - The truth, Frankie! Spill it! Even if the truth lives on Mars or in vents.
Ignore that last part.
Mega Fat CEO Baby was here, wasn't he? - He tainted the formula.
- Yes! It was Mega Fat CEO Baby.
He made me promise I wouldn't tell.
And Dekker rockets over rainbow To the future Stop theme-songing.
The mystery's not over until the best part: - busting the crook.
Let's go.
- You're talking to the CEO? Can you pitch him this idea I had? Invisible pacifiers! We'd all look like fish! [smacking] Um we're just gonna go.
La, la-la la-la-la, la-la La-la Oh, sorry.
Mood swing went super happy.
I figured out your little formula scheme, Mega Fat CEO traitor! - And you're not getting away with it.
- [Mega Fat CEO Baby] Magnus? [clapping] [Mega Fat CEO Baby] Congratulations, Boss Baby.
You solved the mystery of, "Is Boss Baby wrong about everything?" - The secret answer, "Yes.
" - [Boss Baby] Whoa! [laughing] Your mockery only makes me want to fire everyone faster.
What about you? Should I go get you a mirror so you can watch as you fire yourself? [laughing] Joking on the job.
Very unprofessional, Boss Baby.
You're unprofessional! The baby in formula storage said you tainted the formula.
Which all makes sense, except boop! There aren't any babies working in formula storage.
- What? - Oh, twist! Wait a sec.
So who was Frankie? Weird kid, creepy, pants-less? But we've all been there.
Never heard of him.
Though I can't be expected to remember names of people I don't care about.
How many times have I called Magnus "Jason"? Five hundred thirty-two, and it hurts every time.
If no one works in formula storage, what was she even doing there? Isn't it obvious? She's the formula thief.
- Hi! - [gasps, screams] Vent Baby! Moonboots, you've solved it again.
- [Mega Fat CEO Baby yelping] - [loud thudding] [Boss Baby] So, anybody going after them or? [Magnus] Enclosed spaces make me emotional and violent.
Ugh.
Fine.
Jimbo, block the vent so she doesn't double back.
[Mega Fat CEO Baby] Oh, no! Please! Have mercy! [wails] - This way.
But no rush.
- [Mega Fat CEO Baby] I'll do anything! Oh, please! [sobbing] Oh, no, no more.
This is unbearable.
Game's over, Frankie.
Give us Wha? My next idea: Who says we have to work in cubicles? Close your eyes and imagine office carnival! With roller-coaster desks! Boss Baby, save me! This is agony! - Hey! This is a private meeting.
- Meeting's over, Vent Baby.
Oh! Oh, thank you, Boss Baby.
I knew I could count on you.
I'll be back with security, freakish Vent Baby.
- But - Where do you think you're going? I didn't finish telling him my great ideas.
Forget it, Frankie.
You're done.
[sobs] Please, Boss Baby.
I meant no harm, sir.
Whoa.
Uh please stop crying.
It's weird and creepy.
I'm emotionally vulnerable right now! So stop it.
[sobbing] I can't stop.
Oh, please, don't make me leave, sir.
I love Baby Corp.
- How did you get here in the first place? - Nobody asked for backstory.
Keep her here until security - I came from the factory, like all babies.
- [Boss Baby sighs] [Frankie] I was so excited.
I had great ideas already, like a shortcut to the chute where they sort babies - into families or management.
- [yelling] Well, obviously, that one didn't work, but - [Tim] You never got placed anywhere.
- [screams] I had nowhere to go, so I fled into the walls of Baby Corp.
And I've been here ever since.
- [security] Which way was this hideout? - [Mega Fat CEO Baby] What am I, a map? Security's coming, Frankie.
You're still a formula thief.
I had to, so I could stay young like a real executive.
Then I needed more and more once I assembled my own team, just like yours.
Jeez! There's more than one of you Vent Babies? This is Jonesy, my right-hand man and the office jokester.
[laughs] Oh, stop, you're so bad.
This is Stapler.
He's a stapler, but he thinks he's a real baby.
Shh.
Don't tell him.
The newest member of the team, Headless Bear, fresh from your R&D department.
And last but not least, Poobag MacDougal, the brains of the operation.
- It's very nice to meet your team.
- No.
Stop indulging this.
- You're gonna cost us our jobs! - Jeez.
Mood swing.
No, I'm genuinely angry! I'm sorry.
I tried adding the vanilla milkshake so no one would know.
But what was I supposed to do? Let Stapler starve? That's right, you need formula, Stapler, because you're a baby.
[Mega Fat CEO Baby] Maybe the left? [security] I think we'd move faster if we didn't have to carry you.
[Mega Fat CEO Baby] Wah, wah, wah! That's what you sound like.
- Getting closer, sir.
- He's in a firing mood, Frankie.
- It's you or us.
Frankly, it's you.
- But this is my life.
I can be an asset to Baby Corp.
I have lots of great ideas.
[gasps] Maybe you'd like to hear them.
- Not really.
- Of course we do.
I solved your mystery.
This is what I want for payment.
Just listen to her ideas, okay? [groans] Oh, fine.
I would love to hear your ideas.
But I reserve the right to fall asleep, get moody and/or scratch my acned tushie.
Thank you, sir.
This means [moans] so much! And now I can't fall out of my shirt at my desk.
Thanks, Stapler! Upside-down meetings! Think how many more ideas we'll have with extra blood rushing to our heads.
And now you have a million cookies instead of one.
Turn it inside out and you can use it again! I always overhear CEO Baby complaining about the budget.
Think of the quarterly savings.
Thank you.
Those are the worst ideas I've ever heard, anywhere, ever, and I live with this guy.
- Hey! - But maybe The worst.
There is zero place for you at Baby Corp.
You are so fired.
You can't.
You said you wanted outside-the-box ideas.
Well, Frankie's got lots.
- Templeton - No.
It's Moonboots, the guy who said it was Vent Babies and nobody believed me.
But was I right? Yeah, you also said it was Old Alien Baby Corp from Mars.
And I stand by that.
Nobody in your company has any imagination.
Here's a baby who does, so why don't you do something outside the box? Take a chance on Frankie and her ideas.
[Mega Fat CEO Baby] Attention, creepy little Vent Baby, you have one minute to surrender your creepy little vent self before security drags you out.
I'm sorry, Tim, there's nothing I can use there.
No! This is my home! You can't make me leave! No, wait! Frankie, come back! Oof! Oof! - This chick is good.
- We're on her turf.
She must know this whole place like the back of her hand.
Split up.
Staci, go right.
Templeton, left.
- [Frankie gasps] - Going somewhere? - End of the line, Frankie.
- [yelps] These are my vents! I can't leave! [Mega Fat CEO Baby] I hear her whiny voice! We're close! - We can't give Frankie to them.
- Have to do what's best for the company.
[gasps] I want every vent shaft checked.
We are going to flush this system clean.
Specifically, the "you" part of "we" are going to do this.
Agh! A hideous failure monster! Just kidding, except about every part of that.
Out of the way! We're tracking a Vent Baby.
Stand down.
I've got your Vent Baby here.
- She has a name.
- Just do it, Templeton.
Fabulous.
Hah! Who's captured who now, freaky-freak? [wheels squeaking] Don't be sad.
We'll dump you on a family.
Maybe they'll let you live in a closet.
You're fired! [laughing] Oh, that feels amazing.
Magnus, make me high-five myself.
All clear.
Thank you ever so much, Boss Baby.
But I don't know if I'm ready for this.
Everyone has to change sometime, Frankie.
Welcome to Baby Corp.
For real this time.
Thank you, sir.
Stapler and I are gonna make you so proud.
What about the rest of my team? We had to put something in that decoy.
But don't worry.
I think their first field mission will be a rousing success.
Well, he's a bear with a diaper face, but he's ours.
Special formula! Get your non-contaminated, keep-you-a-baby-forever formula.
[gulping] [Jimbo sighs] - Yay! - [wails] [squealing] [regular voice] Oh, I'm cured! [deep voice] Nuh-uh.
I'm never going back.
[gulping] [regular voice] Aw! By the way, I know you're a stapler.
Oh, don't cry.
I'm proud of you.
Letting Frankie join the company was pretty outside the box, for you.
I made a strategic decision for the good of the company.
- You liked her ideas? - All terrible.
Then I remembered Frankie saying how she always overheard Mega Fat complain about the budget.
She knows Baby Corp inside and out.
She must have been spying on everyone for years.
[laughing] I just got my own man on the inside! Can you imagine the power plays I can make with a resource like that? - Do you ever do anything to be nice? - [chuckles] - You'll never know.
- You're right, but I know who might.
Theme song! Dekker Moonboots is Ugh! Space blindness! Boss Baby