The Boss Baby: Back in Business (2018) s02e03 Episode Script

P.U.

Hold all my calls.
Brother meeting.
Our temporary roommate situation is at crisis level.
There's been enough bloodshed.
Sorry about that, Templeton.
I got a little carried away.
- Our sacred brothership is strong.
- Rock solid.
And I think if we come up with ground rules, things can go even better.
I concur.
A contract.
When I work, I need a quiet, calm space.
A mouse fart should be alarming.
Don't touch my stuff.
That's actually the only one I need, but it would be in really big letters.
We're agreed on terms.
So, how will these rules be enforced? We'll figure that out as we go.
- Gah! Templeton, what? - Spit wad.
I believe there was a rule about touching my stuff.
So I said, "Is this Acquisitions, or is it" - Ow! Templeton.
- Shh.
Quiet work space.
Mouse farts.
That was my rule! Ow! How are you so precise with these spit wads? I didn't do anything! You were thinking about doing anything.
Ugh! - I got a little in my mouth.
- Oh, me too.
I'm impressed you tried, Tim, but I'm not sure you can reason with a baby.
Maybe you can use the room for the first half of the day and let the baby play in there in the afternoon.
Unacceptable.
It's my room.
Did you try spit wads like I've been training you? Please don't teach him to spit wad the baby.
Spit wads are a harmless, long-range way to keep a kid on a straight and narrow path.
How do you think my Ted turned out so sweet? I'd soak him in the things.
Flashback! And there goes my appetite.
Ah! - Finish your dinner.
- Yes, Mother.
Tim, I shared a room with six siblings, all horrible.
Three of them just passed gas non-stop.
Drove me crazy.
So when spit wads didn't work, you know what I did? I got out in the neighborhood and kept busy.
So in conclusion, I want to take Super Cool Big Kids Incorporated Making money.
You had me at "money.
" So, ideas.
What should our business be? Gum testers.
Business bees.
We catch bees for business.
Fart detectors.
Who farted? We're on it.
We could be turtlesitters.
We would be awesome turtlesitters.
Do we just watch awesome turtles or cruddy ones, too? Eh, we shouldn't discriminate.
What's with your brother? Diaper problems? He must be hungry or something.
What do you mean "terrible ideas"? A word of professional advice: if you want to build a successful business - I'm good.
- Uh, sorry? I'm trying to find a way for us to spend some time apart, for the sake of our brothership.
You're starting a business without my help? Would you also do surgery without a doctor, or go into space without an astronaut? Second one, yes.
First one, maybe.
I'm gonna write down rake-punchers.
We're gonna be so rich.
See? We already have too many great ideas.
I do like the confidence.
A gentleman's wager, then.
You and Danny make, say, $20 by the time the streetlights come on.
Do that, you get exclusive daytime use of our room for the summer.
If not, this place is mine.
And no more spit wads.
- Twenty dollars before dark.
- The room is the prize.
And some time apart is the cherry on top.
Deal.
Feels nice to come to an agreement with you, like the old days.
Hey, you should come into the office with me.
It's Peg's birthday, and Hendershot brought way too much chocolate cake.
Cookie crumbles on top, trick candles.
Yes! Those are hilarious.
I'm in.
Wait.
You're just trying to trick me into getting distracted from my business.
What? Me? No.
Yes.
Had to try.
Good luck.
Don't need it.
Close your eyes for one second.
Now open them.
Welcome to right now, formerly known as one second from now.
What's going on? I think they finally re-figured out how to make Stinkless Serum.
They've done it? Then Turtleneck's ready to step down.
They'll need a new CEO.
You're gonna be the boss, boss.
R&D Baby Simmons, tireless, genius.
Hear her speak.
I haven't slept in a week.
Whoo! I think it's affecting my brain.
Brain.
Brain, brain, brain, brain, brain, brain.
You ever say a word so much, it doesn't even sound like a word anymore? Brain.
But I do know this.
We just reinvented Stinkless Serum.
Now I also haven't showered in a week.
Uh, we know.
We can smell.
Good, 'cause now you can watch those bad smells disappear through the raw power of Stinkless Serum.
Smells like rotten egg fart burrito.
We sell pizzas, but only the toppings.
No.
Soda pop with just the bubbles.
Wait.
The insides of hot dogs.
- I got it! - Okay, but I got plenty more in the tank.
Look at these people just walking around the neighborhood.
I bet they'd love to hire a taxi.
But a taxi won't go from their porch to their mailbox.
That's where we come in.
We give the rides too short for taxis.
Yes! We need a wagon and a chair.
- What happened? - Simmons.
Did she get the formula wrong? Yes, colossally.
She's made herself the stinkiest baby on the planet.
I can fix it.
Just need brain.
Oh.
Look how fast my eyes move.
Whoa, whoa.
There it goes.
Whoa.
No sleep for a week and bad serum.
Totally cuckoo and totally poo-poo.
Rhymes.
How amusing.
I see why music is so popular.
Solution, give me one.
She needs a dose of original Stinkless Serum.
The vial's still safe.
I can bring it in.
No.
Spies everywhere.
Serum stays in the field.
Take her to it.
You want me to take her into the field? Ma'am, that's a huge risk.
My job is making sure people love babies.
What happens when they smell a baby that stinks like a wet dog threw up a ham salad? Solutions haunt us like the ghosts of our failures.
A true innovator, a future CEO, fears neither.
So fear is a bronco to be tamed? You're talking nonsense.
It confuses and enrages me.
Stop it.
Uh, yes, ma'am.
Don't worry.
I'll take care of this.
You okay? We have work to do.
Too weak to move.
The smell, worse than Jimbo's diapers.
Oh, no.
I just threw up in my mask.
Right.
Looks like it's just you and me, loopy, sleep-deprived Simmons.
Oh, I have 13 toes.
We're the Picker-Uppers.
We pick you up so you'll never have to walk again.
No trip is too short.
Hop aboard our comfortable chair-agon.
- A wagon with a chair on top.
- But not just any chair.
The finest, most comfortable chair I could find at the dump.
Did I hear you shouting about giving rides? Hey, this is kinda fun.
Ow.
Ow! Ow.
Ow! My Teflon shinbone! Sorry.
We'll give you a discount.
A half-hour for a tow truck? Ah! But all the good crimes are happening now.
Let's get that speeder, boys.
Just three dollars? We worked all morning.
Are you kidding? We did great.
That's at least two candy bars and tons of change left to throw at squirrels.
But I need to make $20 before the streetlights come on.
- How do we make more faster? - I have an idea.
Quick, give me a quarter.
I see you, squirrel! Eat two bits! Think, Templeton.
Gotta win this bet.
More passengers, faster trips, higher fares.
Ugh.
Missed him.
But totally worth it for the life experience.
We need to upgrade our vehicle.
Do you know anyone with a go-kart? What? No.
Why would I know anyone with a what did you say? Glo-klart? Do you have a go-kart? She's not ready for the road yet! Fine.
Sheesh.
I hope you like fun.
Well, that's the smell contained at least.
If I go grab the serum, you'll be good here? Ooh.
I've never been out in the real world before.
I must see everything! Oh.
The trees are calling to me.
Business is booming.
So fun being successful.
Just need to quickly grab a helmet.
Here I come, trees! Templeton, were you born in a barn? Hey, what's Simmons doing here? And why is she in a ball thing? Tell me, what's the worst smell you've ever smelled? - Dad's socks.
- Fine.
Now imagine those socks pulled from the gut of a fish.
Ugh! That's what Simmons smells like, times a thousand.
If this thing cracks and anyone smells her, baby love may never recover.
But if I fix this, I'm on the fast track to CEO.
I just need a sec.
Can you watch her for me? I guess if you really need me to Wait.
Watch her until the streetlights come on, right? I get what you're trying, Sneaky Pete.
What are you talking about? The wager we made this morning? I don't even care about that anymore.
Sure.
This is a prank, right? Nothing is real.
Not even my eyes.
Ha! I knew it.
You almost had me.
- See ya.
- Templeton, wait! Stay put.
High noon.
Time for lunch.
Gah! I forgot about Gigi! Do not move! No nap yet, mister.
Lunchtime.
You're staying on Gigi's strict character-building schedule.
Here I come, trees! That's so amazing! Me and my dad built her from parts we found at the dump.
She's my Thunder Dumpling.
Wow! Even feels fast.
Half horsepower engine.
That's triple the power.
And with the backseat and the wagon attached, we've doubled our passenger load.
Watch out, neighborhood.
You're about to get picked up.
Let's be successful.
Yeah! This baby's touchy.
You gotta punch this and pull that and twist this, and then a slap on the dash.
- How do you make it go faster? - Engage thunder pedal.
- Yeah! - Yeah! Wow.
Love to see that initiative.
Come on, tummy.
We can do this.
Gotta get back to Simmons before she bolts.
Timmy! Lunchtime! I'm gonna make a sandwich for Tim.
Be with you in a minute.
Gah! I hear ya.
Nap time it is.
But you're waking up in two hours on the dot.
No, no, no, no, no! Serum, serum, serum, serum.
There you are.
Hire the Picker-Uppers! Feel the raw power of Thunder Dumpling.
A registered subsidiary of Super Cool Big Kids Incorporated.
- Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop! - What is it? I got a way to billionaire supercharge our business.
Watch.
Hi, Mr.
Willis.
How's the garage sale going? Where are your customers? Well, I don't know, Tim.
Maybe I didn't put up enough signs.
You know, Danny and I have a neighborhood taxi business.
We can drive around, spread the word about your garage sale, and give customers rides here.
Sold.
You didn't buy anything? I'm eyeing one of those spatulas.
He's paying us to bring him customers, who will pay us to bring them to him.
By the time the streetlights come on, you'll be buying every spatula in town.
It's like you're reading my dream journal.
Simmons? Simmons? Where are you? Trees, sidewalks.
I love outside! I don't know if you heard, but Mr.
Willis is having a garage sale.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Oh, a small fellow.
I wanna pet you.
How do I open it? Aha! No! Don't let them smell you! Ah! What's your name, huh? Ah! What's that smell? Fried throw-up and onions? Hi, Mr.
Fried Throw-Up and Onions.
I'm R&D Baby Simmons.
Very tired brain.
Who wants to watch me run? I do! No! Simmons, you stop right there! So many customers.
Golly! Think you can find more where they came from? Ha! Whoa! Ha, ha! Ah! That smell Hard to breathe.
Goodbye, baby love.
It was nice knowing you.
We got her, BB.
Reinforcements! Ha, ha! I love my team.
Oh, wait.
Wait.
Your masks! Clam farts! Diarrhea sushi! Oh, fart poop duty.
Whoa! Just a couple more cartloads, and we'll make our goal.
Stop at Mrs.
Dingle's.
She loves a good bargain.
Sure thing.
- Huh.
- What? Brakes don't work.
- What? - I told you Thunder Dumpling wasn't ready for the road.
What are we gonna do? Find a safe place to crash.
I'm not crashing this beautiful machine.
We'll just have to drive until we're out of gas.
Huh.
Funny.
Nothing's happening.
What do you mean nothing's happening? Good news.
Something happened.
We're about to go down the steepest hill in the neighborhood.
Hill Street? Yeah, and it leads down to the busiest street in town.
Busy Street? What? No.
Main Street.
We'll be crushed! Let's bail.
I'm not bailing on Thunder Dumpling.
It's our lives or your Thunder Dumpling.
If you don't care about Dumpling, you jump.
I'm staying.
I'm not going without you.
Oh, no.
- I'm outta here.
- What? You just said Out of gas.
Boy, we really lucked out.
I almost died and peed.
Psst! Templeton.
I need to take a walk.
Cool.
I'll see if I can fix Dumpling.
- Ah! - This Simmons thing, it's real.
She's out of the bubble, and she stinks.
You stink at lying.
You know what's actually real? I'm this close to winning our bet.
Room, room.
Room, room, room, room, room, room, room! - How much have you made so far? - Around $15.
Already? Let me hire you.
Five dollars to help me catch Simmons.
- What? - That gets you to 20.
You win the bet, you get the room.
I thought we were spending time apart, to save our brothership? I need your help.
You need my help.
What's a brothership good for if we can't come together in a crisis? Why does this baby smell like a skunk who eats other skunks' butts? Oh, it's so sick.
Simmons! It's like dog poop learned how to poop other poop.
I told you I wasn't lying, this time.
She slowed down, but she's making her way to that garage sale at the bottom of the hill.
How are there so many people at a garage sale? 'Cause I'm a great, boom, businessman.
I'm impressed, but that crowd only makes this worse.
If they get a whiff of stinky Simmons, baby love might never recover.
Forget the CEO job.
My career is over.
- Can we take the go-kart? - I mean, it's totally broken, but The plan again? Can't steer or stop.
We need a perfect glide.
If she still stinks, we'll faint.
Then it's all up to your disgusting talent.
One shot, one chance.
It's stinkless or get stunk.
Trust me.
I can spit wad anything that moves.
That's disgusting but comforting.
Scooch! Hey, Simmons! Templeton, now! - Yeah! - Yeah! No more stinky Simmons.
That was easy.
What the What, what? Whoa! - You okay? - I'm fine.
Boss Baby, giant hot dog person.
I've been awake for all the hours.
Well, it's been a long day.
Hello.
- Fear not, babies.
She stinks no more.
- Phew! Boss Baby, that was CEO-quality problem-solving.
In you, I see our future.
Simmons! How's my rock star change agent? That was CEO-quality risk-taking.
In you, I see our future.
Uh, I thought I was being groomed to be the next CEO.
Of course you are.
As is everyone else.
Eating a carrot kills hunger, but chasing a carrot births innovation.
Cutthroat.
I like it.
- No, I don't.
- Nice pants, Hendershot.
In them, I see our future.
What happened to my kart? It crashed down the hill.
And I had to pay Mr.
Willis our profits.
We just have a few cents left.
I'm really sorry.
Maybe you and I aren't meant to be business partners.
- I'm happy just being your - Squirrel! Watch your tail, acorn smuggler! Well, good news for you.
I lost the bet, you won.
Enjoy the room.
Oh, forget the bet.
You made more money in a half-day than I thought you could in a week.
You helped me with Simmons and saved my career.
Certainly, we can figure out how to share this room.
I do have a few ideas.
It's raining dinosaurs.
How will Timothy Thrasherton, Jurassic rock star, make it to the big show? Thrasherton! I'm interested in becoming your manager.
I can protect you from dino rain, but I take 20%.
10%! Well, have fun being crushed by dinosaurs.
- Fifteen.
- Deal.
Hop on.
- A rake? - This is no ordinary rake.
And away we go! Fend off the dinosaurs! It's so fast! I bet no dinosaur could catch up with us.
Bye-bye, triceratops! Take that, tyrannosaurus! Hey, Tim, did I leave my punching rake up there?