The Boss Baby: Back in Business (2018) s02e08 Episode Script

Plushythingy

Hold all my calls.
I had rescued the captive, but the woman was hot on our tail.
You'll never escape me! Hang left! Croque-monsieur, she's gaining on us! Do it, Templeton! It's time.
- Better? - Le best! - Stop! Stop! - We can't stop, she'll What the heck? What is it? Have you seen anything like it? - "Plushythingy"? Sounds dumb.
- Name's irrelevant.
We're standing in the presence of great business.
A stuffed animal with a dumb name? Perfect engineering! That fluff, those eyes.
The ears alone can make you believe there's a better world, and you belong in it.
See what I mean? This is a toy that will alter the entire baby industry.
Whoa! Aha! I caught you.
And now, off to my hideout, where you'll be interrogated by ice cream! No! I'm powerless against brain freeze.
mint chocolate chip.
Round, but not too round.
Relatable, but not without self-respect.
Probably great at parties.
- Why are you looking at me like that? - You want that toy.
It's no mere toy.
Plushythingy transcends supply and demand.
It creates a hole in your life that didn't exist before.
Stop looking at me! You love it.
I respect it.
Look, I've been there.
When I was a little kid, I saw a commercial for this Kentucky Outlaw Police Chase slot car set.
Two tracks, a Thunder Comet Loop that went upside down.
I thought if I got it, it'd make me happy forever.
Yes, I know where this is going.
"Money can't buy happiness" Blah, blah.
When I got it, I was happy forever.
Until the track got ruined when the basement flooded.
There it is.
It was all gone.
Kentucky Outlaw car, police car Thunder Comet Loop.
- You want that Plushythingy? - Yes! Uh, for research purposes.
Then we are going to get you that Plushythingy.
But how to convince Mom and Dad.
If only I had a birthday coming up.
Pfft! Birthdays are for amateurs.
I know how we'll get them, but we gotta be subtle.
Huh.
A thing.
Ugh.
What the milk? Hmm.
A thing.
Ah! A thing! We're out of toilet paper! Tim's at a fun age, isn't he? I'd get up to take it off, but, honestly, I can't muster the energy.
- Tim! Get in here right - Oh! Hello, Father, Mother.
Wouldn't be in the mood for some toy shopping, would you? Huh? - Is it? - Oh, yeah.
Mount St.
Janice is gonna blow! Wow! Mom knows a lot of bad words.
It was a good effort, Templeton.
But maybe look up "subtle" while you're in there.
If you want, you can play with Football Mike.
He knows touchdown karate.
Hup, hup, kee-aw! Thanks, but if it's all the same to you, I just wanna take a bottle in my crib and Psst! When I was a kid, it was a Gilly Ann doll with eyes that opened and shut.
Mama thought that made her tawdry.
What are grandparents for but to undermine parents here and there? Oh! Hello, Janice.
Aw.
You bought the thing.
How sweet.
- Staci, Jimbo.
- What about Tim? - Shh! - As summer break winds down, he insists on watching as much television as possible.
Anyway, he's not our demographic.
I assume you've each procured the product? This toy represents a momentous opportunity for Baby Corp.
Happy babies equal cute babies.
And who doesn't love cute babies? Don't answer.
Nobody! Baby love will skyrocket, along with our careers.
Who wants a fancy job title? Vice President of Making People Feel Good About Themselves.
I call Regional Distributor of Butt-Kickings! - Neat title, Staci! - Thanks! See how great I'd be? Do your parents love you? Are you sure? Well, now you can find out.
Just ask them to buy you Plushythingy.
Your parents must love you very much.
This is the greatest commercial I've ever seen.
What ad genius came up with this? For babies! Boss! You don't think there's something wrong with Plushythingy? Take that back! What's the game here, Estes? I want a full product analysis.
No surprises.
Looks like we're gonna be spending a lot of time together, Plushythingy.
Okay, kid, why don't you tell me about yourself? Peekaboo! Wait, something's not right.
Oh.
And remember, never trust anyone who doesn't tea party.
Looking at you, Mr.
Fuzz Guts! Those are some crazy secrets, Plushythingy.
Wanna hear mine? Good night, Plushythingy.
Tomorrow, I'll teach you how to tie a constrictor knot.
I was a fool for ever doubting you.
You make me a better businessman.
I trust you both had as productive a night of research as I did.
I discovered that Plushythingy is my best friend.
He's right, Boss.
There's nothing wrong with Plushythingy.
In fact, mine's a cuddle bug who taught me how to love again! "Cuddle bug"? "Friend"? Can we please keep this professional? Beauregard B.
Plushy and I have formed a lucrative partnership.
What's that, Bobo? We should take five for a cuddle break? You heard the man! Hold on.
You guys found out your new archenemy made those toys, and you're not doing anything? Of course we are.
I said we'd get to the bottom of this.
Full investigation, appropriate vengeance, standard package deal.
But surely you don't think we should take this out on our Plushythingies? Look at these clearly innocent faces.
- But - Shh! Don't listen to the bad man, Bobo.
I know your heart.
Flip it to Channel 8.
That old gossip bag Adele Goldfarb said Frederic's on the news! - I was watching commercials.
- plush toy craze The savvy senior behind the hottest baby toy in town Frederic Estes.
Hello, television.
It's Frederic.
Yeah, I invented your baby's Plush-a-doodle, whatever bushwa name we gave it.
So, turns out that toy has some dangerous design flaws.
Oopsie.
It's just your typical manufacturing kerfuffles rusty nails in the stuffing, the fur can give kiddos paper cuts exposed high-voltage wires Oh, my.
bursts into chemical flame when exposed to human saliva, emits an odor that causes hair loss, prolonged eye contact makes children go blind.
Blah, blah, et cetera.
Should our viewers feel like terrible parents and/or grandparents for buying such a horrific toy? Heavens, no, because my company is gonna make this right, by taking them all back.
Right now! No! - Mrs.
Templeton.
- Mrs.
Fardy.
Enough small talk.
I'm here for Plushythingy.
Ah! There's that death trap.
- Ha! Gimme! - Hey! You can't just take a baby's toy like that.
It's my duty.
And a Fardy takes her duties seriously.
Fardy duties.
Sorry.
Not the moment.
So, do we get a refund, or? He's got a taste for human flesh! Gigi, do something! Chop, chop, Fardy.
Just grab and go.
Take the toys, all the toys.
Don't let them sway you with their big, sniffly baby faces.
Faster! Faster! Sorry for your loss, little baby.
Sorry, kiddo.
You think this was the plan? Make babies fall in love with the toys just so he could take them away? I will avenge you, Bobo.
And then I said, "I did write my name on it, Steve.
" And then Steve said, "Oh, are you calling me a yogurt stealer?" So I said, "Yeah, I guess I am, Steve.
" Then guess what I did to his filing cabinet.
What's wrong with the baby? His new toy got recalled, and he's depressed.
Whoa-oh.
You know who feeds on sad babies? The neck fart monster! Wow.
Nothing.
What do we do, Ted? I don't know.
But do you know who would? Dr.
Tickle! Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle.
Oh, no! Spittle makes Dr.
Tickle melt like a banana splittle! I love Dr.
Tickle! Glad someone does.
Tough crowd.
He'll be fine.
We just need to get his toy back.
Oh, honey, by now, I'm sure all the toys have been destroyed.
Whoa! Sounds like a thirsty baby.
You want some milk? My yogurt! Oh.
I gotta call Steve before he looks in his filing cabinet.
Look at you all.
Don't you have a TV to watch? You know, when I lost my slot car track Ugh.
Again with the slot car track.
I thought I'd never laugh again.
And I never did.
For a long time.
But you wanna know what helped? Jokes.
What do you call a pork chop? A pig that does karate! Oh, wait.
I got it mixed up.
My comedy career! Where's Jimbo? Right here, where I've been the whole time.
Is it just me, or does Jimbo suddenly seem happier? What? I'm not happy.
He's so happy he can't stand it.
- He came from there, behind the sofa.
- No! Jimbo, I swear, if there's a kitten behind that couch Yes, it is a kitten.
Meow! Plushythingy! But how? Can I hold it, Jimbo? Jimbo? Jimbo? Can I hold it? - Jimbo, can I hold it? Jimbo.
- Turn her off! She's scaring me! Can I hold it? Jimbo? Now! Forget her, Jimbo.
I'm the boss.
I get first cuddle.
- Jimbo, I'm ordering you to - Ha! Oh! - Ha! - Oof! Stop! Would you look at yourselves? Tripping, fighting, hitting Spitting, Staci? I should call the old people right now and tell them they missed one Plushythingy.
No! Stop him! Ah! Guys! Gag him! We'll stow him in the basement till the heat cools off.
Don't you see yourselves? You're Wait, wait.
Stop.
He has a point.
Go on, Templeton.
Hmm.
Well spoken.
What's worse than no toys for any baby? One toy that all babies want! Tim's right! Frederic knew we'd tear each other apart over this.
What Tim said! So there's only one solution.
- I should take it.
- But I'll just die without it.
And my ghost will haunt your posterity for seven generations! You're missing the point.
This is exactly what he wants.
As long as this exists, the team is doomed.
Then, who's gonna fight for babies? There's only one thing we can do.
Destroy Plushythingy or it will destroy us.
But not at all me.
Just the three of you.
It's the toy or the team.
Make the call.
Jimbo, send it off honorably.
You've got to let go, Jimbo.
- I'm trying.
I can't! - I got this.
Just close my eyes, pretend I'm back in daycare and Braden just took the good carpet square.
My body won't let me! I have too many feelings! Fine.
I'll do it.
Uh Boss.
What is wrong with you babies? Templeton, what do you think you're doing? Bon voyage, sailor.
Shh! - Do you hear that? - What? The sound of your old Kentucky Outlaw slot car, vrooming down the track.
- I can hear it! - But wait! What's that rumbling noise? The water! Templeton, it's so cold! The basement rats are singing a funeral dirge.
Your toy didn't deserve that, and neither does this one.
Now, if all of us can just come together and form a rational solution, - this whole thing - Couldn't agree more! Ha! - Timmy! - Gigi! There's my Bobo back.
BB, hide the toy! Okay, Dumpy Sad Face, time to flip that frown with a Gigi car ride.
Tim, find my keys.
You're coming, too.
The perfect escape.
Together forever, miles away from any other baby.
Ta-da! Look at all these other babies.
I didn't think it was possible, but she's even worse when she tries to be nice.
If this joint can't get your baby spirits up, I don't know what will.
Have fun, boys.
I'll be in the grown-up lounge.
Templeton, we have to get out of here.
I remember this place.
Stay away from the ball pit.
If any baby sees what I've got behind my back, I'm applesauce.
Maybe you should have thought of that before you, um, got a toy? No, shoot.
There must be a lesson here.
He's on to us! - Templeton, put this in your shirt! - What? Hey! He knows everything.
We'll have to take him out.
What? He's a baby.
Shh.
He'll alert the whole place.
You have to silence him! Seriously? No! I just mean put a bottle in his mouth.
Oh.
- He doesn't have a bottle.
- Then create a diversion.
No one can see what I have Oh! Templeton, help me! He can't take that much love! He's very poorly built! My armpits! It tickles! - I can't keep arms up! - Here! Ah! Ah! Ah! Boss, throw it here! - No way! - What's worse? Jimbo takes it, or it gets torn to shreds by this drooling, toy-crazed mob? Oh! Jimbo, I'm open! See you on the other side, babies.
Sorry, Stace.
For Plushythingy! Ah! Banzai! Ginger ale! And keep the free refills coming! Sorry, babies, the fighting will never end as long as Plushythingy exists.
Wait! Yeah! Templeton, what are you doing? Those sharks will tear it apart in seconds! It must be destroyed! Triplets, it's time.
Is that the toy? I love it so much! Trade you either one of my brothers for it! Hey! No, that's fair.
I was afraid it might come to this, so I had the triplets bring in an old friend of yours to help teach an important business lesson.
You know what separates those on bottom from those on top? Leverage.
The Thunder Comet Loop.
Picture it, just the two Templeton boys with the toys that make them happiest.
We'll never know sadness, loneliness, boredom ever again.
Simply hand me Plushythingy, then you get the car set, we take the zip-line down to Gigi, and we leave with everything our hearts have ever wanted.
What do you say, brother? I'm sorry.
No! Come on, fella, give it back.
I'll give you visitations every other weekend.
We just want to keep it in the family! Forget it, you guys.
You have to learn to let it go.
I just saw my dream toy busted, for the second time in my life.
And you know what? No big deal.
Let the kid have it.
- Nope, still want it! - Simon, time to go home! Guys, seriously, let it go! This is the lesson.
If you really love something, you have to Holy smokes! It really does burst into chemical flame when exposed to human saliva.
Die, abomination! Die! Die! Uh, you were in the middle of a lesson, Templeton? Ugh.
Who cares? Let's go home.
I can't believe Gigi bought this for us! She really knows how to brighten our day after we were almost burned alive in a fire sparked by my own foolishness.
Two loops! Who knew there could be two loops? Are you sure you're okay, about Plushythingy and everything? Never been better, Templeton.
Now If you'll excuse me, I think I'm gonna turn in.
Mr.
Charrington.
Something tells me you and I will be in business forever.
- I knew it! - No! No! - Templeton! Let me have this one thing! - Let go! - Ah! Rusty nails! - Don't touch the high-voltage wires! - Rest in peace, Bobo! - Run!
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