The Consultant (2023) s01e01 Episode Script

Creator

1


Hi.
Well, good morning,
everybody. My name is Elaine,
and it is my pleasure today to show you
what we do here at CompWare.
So why don't you all come on back?
Okay.
Now, can anybody tell
me what a coder does?
'Cause I seriously don't know some days.
- [TOKYO] I do!
- Yes.
- Coders write the games.
- That is correct.
Coders write the games, but
they do not create the games.
For that, we rely on one person.
Our great creator in the sky.
Who'd like to meet him?
Okay.

Sang-woo was just 13 years
of age when he published
his first game, made in his tiny
bedroom in Busan, South Korea.
Can anybody tell me
the name of that game?
- "Fuck Dragons".
- [KIDS GIGGLING]
Actually, F-Dragons
was a later release.
His first game was "Skittle
Dolly", which, to date,
has garnered over 37 million downloads.
Seven years later, Sang has over
100 original games on the market
and many more in development.
Obviously, Sang is a very busy man,
but I'm sure he'd just
love to say hello to y'all.
And, maybe if you guys ask nicely,
he'll let you guys play
an exciting new demo
of a game we've been working on.
Just give me one second.
Hi. The children from Glendale
Middle are here to see you.
Okay.
All right. Here we go. Come on in.
Don't be shy, he won't bite.
Okay.
He's got tiny people in with him.
How long are these little
fuckers gonna be in there?
Um, if he needs his ego
stroked, 30 minutes, but if not
they'll be out in
three. What do you need?
I actually have an idea that
I wanted to pitch to him.
- You know how that tends to go.
- Uh-huh.
Yeah, but this time, I
decided to take your advice,
and I'm gonna make him
think that it's his idea.
I know Sang can be conceited, vain
- Yes.
- immature, narcissistic,
but he's not a bad person.
Eh, he's sort of a bad person.
[GUNSHOT]
[GUNSHOTS]
[MAN] No!
[GASPING]
I want my mommy.

[DISTANT SIREN]
[DOG BARKING]
[BOOMING]
[RAPID GUNFIRE]
Did you come to bed yet?
Yeah, twice. But I think
I'm gonna go for a run.
Be safe.
[SOLDIERS IN GAME SHOUTING]
[SOUND CRACKLING IN HEADPHONES]
[GAME PLAYER OVER HEADPHONES]
Clear. Gunslinger 28.
What's your location?
Where the fuck are you?
[PLAYER 2] I'm right behind you.
[PLAYER 1] What the fuck.
[PLAYER 1] Yo, is anyone
gonna waste this motherfucker?


[LOUD BEEP]

- What are you doing?
- Fuck, Craig!
Oh! You almost gave me a heart attack.
What is that?
- What?
- What the thing
that you're putting Is that, uh
- Is that a camera?
- What? You're paranoid.
Okay, then show it to me.
- Okay, it's a camera.
- What the fuck?
What are you doing filming in here?
It was Sang's idea,
ever since the lawsuit,
- he was paranoid.
- Okay, where else?
Where else are all the cameras?
I'm just getting started.
Oh, this fucking place.
What are you doing here?
I can't sleep. I was just
I think I left some weed here.
Ah!
Huzzah.
You wanna share some of that?
So, you found something else yet?
Yeah, looks like I'm going to Lobster.
They're putting together an offer.
- Oh.
- You?
- I'm just taking some time.
- [TAPS PIPE]
Don't take too long,
it's cold out there.
So, uh, what does Patti
think you should do?
You guys are still
Yeah, she thinks that I
should, uh, pray for my soul
and change my career.
- She never said that.
- Eh
Not in the same breath.
Hey, Elaine, you ever think about how
if the devil made him do it,
then, like, what does that make us?
[SIGHING]
Cigarettes make you cough.
Coke rots your teeth.
TV makes you stupid.
You've been playing video
games your whole life, right?
Yeah, since I had thumbs.
And did you ever go on a killing spree?
Did I ever go on a killing spree?
No, not yet.
But, I, uh, you know
I'm not 30 yet, so who knows.
[DOOR SLIDES OPEN, CLOSES]
- Didn't you lock up?
- I thought I did.

Hello.
Can I help you?
Mr. Sang-woo, please.
Sang isn't available.
Is there someone else
I can direct you to?
Oh, that's right, he
killed those children
and then turned the gun on himself.
- I didn't get your name.
- Regus Patoff.
Mr. Patoff, he actually
didn't kill any children.
Some children killed him
or one child shot him.
It was a psychotic break caused by
They don't know what caused it.
- We don't know what caused it.
- You're right.
I told myself that other version
and it sounded so incredible,
it must have stuck in my mind.
Do you mind?
Uh sure.
- I'm not very good on stairs.
- Okay.
I'm sorry, sir, can I just ask,
where do you think you're going?
To work.
I trust Mr. Sang was true to his word
and made an appropriate arrangement.
My contract isn't
starting until the morning,
but it sets a very good example
to be the first one to arrive.
What did Sang hire you
to do, Mister, uh
Patoff.
Patoff. Is that, uh, Russian?
It's Crimean Peninsula.
I am to consult Mr. Sang
on all matters of business.
Specifically, corporate structure?
Productivity? Branding?
On all matters of business.
Oh, it doesn't look so
high from down there.
Yeah, there is a service elevator,
but we're more than
halfway up, so, maybe
Well, then, logic dictates we proceed.
[SIGHING]
Thank you.
I can carry myself from here.
Sir, sir!
You can't go in there. Sir!
Sir! That's
Yeah, this will do.
Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
It's vacant.
Mr. Patoff, I'm sorry if
you've had a wasted journey.
Take a look around, there's
no business left to consult on.
We're totally shuttered.
I wish to call a full staff
meeting for tomorrow morning.
Shall we say, 9 AM?
[BRIEFCASE CLICKING]
And you'll find this
illustrates Mr. Sang's wishes.
[CRAIG] What does it say?
Who owns us?
When the lawyers are done,
Sang's only living relative,
his mother, who lives in
Busan and speaks no English.
Fuck, why did you let me get high?
It's what he says. He's here
to consult directly with Sang
on all matters relating to CompWare.
Okay, so in the absence of
Sang, who's in charge here?
Mr. Can't Get Up the Fucking Stairs?
Why are you asking me?
You were Sang's assistant.
Creative liaison.
Creative liaison?
- I gave myself a title bump.
- When?
When I started applying for other jobs.
You don't know what it's
like out there. You don't try.
Well, maybe you should
make yourself CEO,
'cause apparently right
now we do not have one.

[SNIFFING]
Did you smoke weed last night?
No.
The bedding stinks. I'm not nagging,
but could you maybe do
a wash for me, please?
- What time is it?
- It's 8:30. I gotta go.
But will you be around
later to sign for something?
- Wait, I have to go to work.
- No, honey. You don't.
Ah, there's this guy,
Patoff. He's a consultant.
Sang hired him. Everybody has to go in.
If you strip 'em, I'll
wash 'em. Love you.
- Love you.
- Love you.

Yo. Is he here?
I don't know. I don't think he left.
Shouldn't someone talk to legal?
I already did. Unless they
shut us down or sell us off,
everything sanctioned
by Sang is in play.
[CELL PHONES CHIMING IN UNISON]
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
Good morning, comrades.
Unfortunately, Mr. Sang
cannot be with us today,
but he sends his best regards.
To the wonderful faces I see below,
thank you for being an important
part in CompWare's success.
I'm looking forward to getting
to know you all personally.
You are valued.
Uh, and for those who work remotely,
you have exactly one
hour to get here in person
or your contracts of
employment will be terminated.
That's all.
- [CROWD MURMURING]
- [WOMAN] My God.
Can he do that?
He seems to think so.
Dude, what happened to Spin Diesel?
Dude.
This place is a fucking death factory.
Yo, so, who's the suit?
His name is Patoff. That's all we know.
Hi, Elaine Hayman for Diane Delaney.
Is she contactable?
Yes, I'm just following up
on a position that we dis
No, yeah, yeah, yeah. I
understand. Things come up.
Okay.
Is there anything I can
help you with, Mr. Patoff?
What do we make?
- Make?
- The thing we sell?
We produce games. For your phone.
People pay for these games?
No, not directly.
They pay through advertising,
in-app purchases, merch.
I'm surprised Sang didn't explain this
when he engaged your services.
It's pretty much all he
did in his short life.
No, Mr. Sang and I discussed
wider concepts, but
Such as?
There it is again. Do you smell that?
I I don't smell anything.
It's like putrid fruit
or decaying flowers.
I can, um
[SNIFFING]
No, it's not you.
Ah, 10 o'clock exactly!
It's an, an entirely different
prospect going down, isn't it?
Can I show you the elevator?
[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]
Let her in.
I gave them all one hour.
She's right there. If
you just open the
Why should I make an exception for her?
What's different about this
employee from the others?
Nothing.
It's not as if she didn't
have transportation.
I'm sorry.


He doesn't even know what we do here.
You check your account this
morning? We all got paid.
Did you hear what he did to Lois?
Wheelchair Lois or cleft palate Lois?
I don't know who the
fuck he thinks he is.
I've been looking into that.
And?
- And we'll talk at lunch.
- I want to talk now.
Did you get rid of all the cameras?
- Not yet.
- Okay.
So maybe we should talk at lunch.
Fine.

He doesn't exist.
There is sweet fuck-all out
there about Regus Patoff,
or his so-called consultancy
firm. Hi. How's it going?
Can I get the corn with no salt?
It's ok if you cook it in salt,
but can I just get none
of the salt on the top?
- Yep. Your name?
- Thanks. Craig.
It doesn't stack up. We
were doing really well.
We were in a bit of debt, but
Sang bought a shit-ton of toys.
I don't know why he'd
bring in a grandpa.
- [MAN] Next.
- Cheese quesadilla.
No conditions.
- Name, please.
- Elaine.
What if he's more
than just a consultant?
Like, a guru? Sang would never
fall for that kind of shit.
They don't give you a choice.
They worm their way in with
the top CEOs before you know it,
their mission statement's being
translated into fucking Klingon.
They're all parasites.
Sang would never fall for
any of that kinda stuff.
He didn't have friends.
He didn't have any
hobbies. He didn't get laid.
I know you hated him but he
was actually quite pathetic.
[MAN] Craig, Elaine?
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
Ok, so you're saying this guy
just waltzed in off the street
one day and then just got Sang
to sign over complete authority?
I don't buy it.
Are you saying the contract is fake?
- What's the date on it?
- Why?
Well, if they signed in person,
then maybe Patoff came
to visit the office.
We have everything recorded.
Sang kept everything on the server.
Can we look at that?
Yeah, we just need the date.
Hello, I'm Mr. Regus Patoff.
[SNIFFING]
Hello, I'm Mr. Regus Patoff.
Chanel.
[SNIFFING]

Hello, I'm Mr. Regus Patoff.
[SNIFFING]

March 24th.
Hello, I'm Mr. Regus Patoff.
[SNIFFING]
- Viktor Kulzer.
- [PATOFF] Hello.

Our our cleaning
service is the worst.
I called and complained,
and apparently they are not
authorized to remove blood.
If it offends you so
greatly, I suggest you acquire
a sponge and a bucket
with warm, soapy water.
I'll get right on that.
Oh. You'd be pleased to know
I identified it,
and have taken measures to eradicate it.
- What's that?
- That rancid smell out there.
Won't be bothering us any longer.
- That's a relief.
- Yeah.
March 24th. I was back East
with my sister all that week.
Dana was handling all
of his appointments.
[CRAIG] Is that live?
If you ever tell anyone I did this
I'm not telling anybody.
Right. It's archived,
it'll take a minute.
Where you going? You aren't helping?
I thought we could play the back nine
for some Sour Patch while we wait.
I've gotta go clean up a spill first,
- but save me the green ones.
- You got it.
[WATER SLOSHING]
[INDISTINCT WHISPERING]
Psst. Hey.
- Oh.
- What happened?
He's firing Iain.
Says he doesn't like the way he smells.
It's constructed humiliation.
Who put this guy in charge?
Sang we think.
[GHISLAINE] Well, Iain
relies on this job.
You know he can't survive out there.
- Let me see what I can do.
- Okay.
[GAME BEEPING]
- [KNOCKING]
- In.
I can do this later if you're busy.
No, you can work around me.
[PATOFF CHUCKLING]
Whoever would have thought
pressing a repetitive
sequence of buttons
could hypnotize a
young mind into murder.
They still don't know
what made him do it.
To think you could train an
army of soldiers from their beds.
And when you're ready [SNAPPING]
Actually, gaming has been
proven to increase memory,
focus concentration, and enhance
problem-solving abilities.
[GAME BEEPING]
In some instances, it
can benefit social skills.
I picked up a baby's bottle.
Do I feed the baby or
restore my own health?
Well, if you wanna beat the game
eventually you'll
have to sacrifice the baby.
[CHUCKLING]
Look, I know everyone's
pretty fucking grateful to
be getting paid right now, but
that doesn't give you license
to fire people who are five
seconds outside of curfew
or because of the way that they smell.
My purpose is to improve
the business for Mr. Sang.
Yes, but Sang's gone.
What's left of him is in my bucket.
You liked him.
I felt sorry for him.
I think he had too much too young,
and he wasn't the genius
everybody said he was.
It's rude of me, but I am yet to ask.
What do you do here?
I was Sang's
I was Sang's creative liaison.
Now that's a position of responsibility?
Sang could always rely on me.
Then I'll leave the matter to you.
And if I smell him
again, you're both fired.
[WATER SLOSHING]
[GROANING]



[PATOFF RECORDING] Hello,
I'm Mr. Regus Patoff.
Motherfucker.

[PHONE CHIMES]
[CRAIG] Sang made him wait
in reception for 56 minutes.
[ELAINE] That means he
didn't have an appointment.
Exactly. Is there any audio?
Not in here. Sang only wanted to know
if the cleaners were stealing his candy.

[WEEPING]

That's it?
14-minute conversation and
he gets this guy to sign?
That is one charming motherfucker.
Have you, uh, ever
heard of Viktor Kulzer?
Hilltech Industries? They make
artificial limbs in Moscow.
You don't want to work in Moscow.
[ELAINE] Well, their CEO signed
the same contract as Sang,
and he was found decapitated in
his apartment two weeks later.
Was Sang
Asexual.


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