The Fall Guy (1981) s02e04 Episode Script

Colt Breaks Out

(FINGERS SNAPPING) COLT: # Well, I'm hot the kind to kiss and tell But I've been seen with Farrah # I've never been with anything less than a nine, so fine! # I've been on fire with Sally Field Gone fast with a girl named Bo # But somehow they just don't end up as mine # It's a death-defying life I lead I take my chances # I die for a livin' in the movies and TV # But the hardest thing I ever do is watch my leading ladies # Kiss some other guy while I'm bandaging my knee # I might fall from a tall building I might roll a brand-new car # 'Cause I'm the unknown stuntman that made Redford such a star (FINGERS SNAPPING) # I've never spent much time in school But I taught ladies plenty # It's true I hire my body out for pay # Hey, hey # I've gotten burned over Cheryl Tiegs Blown up for Raquel Welch # But when I wind up in the hay It's only hay # Hey, hey # I might jump an open drawbridge Or Tarzan from a vine # 'Cause I'm the unknown stuntman that makes Eastwood look so fine # COLT: Last week on The Fall Guy, you ma y remember we went down south to make a movie.
One of my best friends, who taught me everything I know, wound up in jail, framed for a murder he had nothing to do with.
As a matter of fact, the man who ran the whole town was responsible.
So I did the only thing a red-blooded American stuntman could do.
I went back up and got me the baddest biker gang I could find, made up of nothing but the best stuntmen.
And we wen': down there to tear that town apart.
Boy, we did just what we intended to do.
We got our buddy out of jail.
Okay, when I say "fire", you push this button.
They got away.
That's right, we got away clean.
Or did we? You know the old expression, ”Out of the frying pan, into the fire”? Well, stay with us now for Part 2 of The Fa“ Guy.
Never seen anything like it.
We'd all be a lot better off if you still hadn't seen it.
They're all gone.
Wilde, his friends, my deal.
- And Mary, too.
Don't forget about her.
- Mary? Mary Walker? She was awful tight with the leader of those stuntmen, Mayor Littlefield.
I ain't sure what she knows, but it's something.
You know, she don't live far from the Station.
Going to the movies, she passes this way all the time.
Meaning she might've seen what we done to Reneau.
Oh, damn.
- We gotta get her back.
- No, we've gotta get 'em all back.
- I think I know just exactly how to do that.
- What're you gonna do, Mayor? I'm going to make a little phone call, Matt.
To somebody who doesn't have to respect any county lines.
- You thinking what I think you are? - Exactly, Dwight.
I didn't get to own this county for nothing.
I'm going to talk to my cousin, Colonel Andrew Stonewall Hamilton himself, Commander-in-Chief of the National Guard.
(ALL THREE LAUGHING) DAN: Did you see that? Did you see that, Miss Mary? He flew it just like a bird.
MARY: Oh, I've never felt anything like it.
We were really flying.
If you guys don't cut that out, I'm gonna get a swelled head.
Just 'cause you have brains enough to be a good student? Hell, everybody knows that it's the teacher who should get all the credit.
I knew it.
I knew this was coming.
DAN: And old Wild Dan's the best teacher in the whole world.
You know, I put that young whippersnapper, Colt, up on his first bucking bronc.
- You should've seen his face.
- No wonder I looked funny.
He told me that horse was an old bridle trail nag.
What's the matter? I told Howie and Jody I'd meet 'em up where the movie location was, but I don't know how to get there.
- Where's it at? - Cross Creek.
- Well, then, that's the way you want to go.
- You sure? Oh, Colt, when you've been stuck in a place as long as I have, you learn that place.
- I'm sure.
- Okay.
Can you imagine the look on Littlefield's face when we crossed that county line? Oh, yeah.
You know, for a minute, I didn't think we were gonna make it.
Are you kidding? You've seen me handle this thing.
As an ace stuntman, I was bound to be a great rider.
JODY: Howie! See? Even Colt couldn't have done better than that.
Now I'm worried about Colt.
We didn't see him leave the county.
Hey, if there's one guy in the world you don't have to worry about, it's Colt Seavers.
For once, you don't have to worry about us, either.
We've got it knocked.
Yeah, no one can touch us.
- What's that? - Oh-oh.
You're under arrest, all of you.
HOWIE: What's the charge? SOLDIER: Assault and battery, aiding and abetting a jailbreak and conspiracy to commit murder.
Nobody arrests the Outlaws.
Or the Fall Guys.
Halt or we'll fire! SOLDIER 1: Hey, look at that guy.
Look! Hey, what's going on? I can't see.
(SCREAMING) Freeze! (SHOUTS) SOLDIER 2: Hold it right there, turkey.
SOLDIER 1: Okay, you two, halt.
SOLDIER 2: All right, the fun's over.
SOLDIER 3: Come on, you guys, spread out.
- Any sign of the others? - No.
Let's keep circling around the ridge.
They're in here somewhere.
I don't hear anything.
You're right.
We did it, we finally got away from them.
Where'd we get away to? I think we're lost.
Hey, look, don't panic, kid, I took a summer of forestry at the University of Northern Colorado.
Don't bother to look for the moss on the north side of the tree, that's all a myth.
What do we look for? I don't know.
That's all I remember from the course.
I think I see a trail.
Halt! Howie? Howie? Jody? Anybody? Nobody else is here yet.
Yeah, well, they probably didn't take all those shortcuts you knew about, Mary.
Gang's probably still out on the road.
Oh, sure they are.
What else could've possibly happened? Where are you going? Well, I figure as long as we're gonna spend a little time here, that we'd better have some sustenance.
What'd you do, stash some food? You got it, Colt.
Well, I'm gonna get a fire started.
I'm gonna go get some wood.
- I'll help you.
- Come on.
Mary, something wrong? Oh, no.
No, I was just thinking.
That's a dangerous habit.
Ask any stuntman.
If we thought about what we were doing, we probably wouldn't allow ourselves to do it.
I think I'm starting to know that feeling.
But I was just thinking about how all my life I've dreamed of getting away from Littlefield County.
Now I am away.
Well, we should have you in the state capital by tomorrow.
Your testimony should put Littlefield and LeClerc where they belong.
Colt? Yeah? Thanks.
- For what? - For giving me a chance.
A chance to really live.
Get out of here.
What is it? - They here? - Nope.
No sign of 'em.
- What time is it? - You've got the watch.
Just before 6:00.
You know, even after a night out on the town with you, Howie and I have made it back here in better time.
- Well, what are we gonna do? - What do you think I woke you up for? You're the teacher, remember? You tell me.
Take it to the union.
That's what they say on the set.
We are the union.
You know, there's only one possibility, and that's Howie misunderstood and he's halfway back to LA by now.
And there's only one way to find that out.
Let's go.
Rise and shine.
Well, look at them, Dwight.
They don't look so mean now, do they? Now it looks like the National Guard just busted these buzzards right in two.
(GRUNTING) You think that's funny, do you? Now, when you gotta depend on me for everything? You clowns don't even get fed if I don't say so.
The Sheriff's got a point.
LITTLEFIELD: Hollywood stunt folks or not, you're now guests in my county.
And I'm gonna make you pay for what you took away from me.
I'm gonna make you pay for it right through the nose.
COLT: Boy, you thought we were in trouble before.
You know what I want, Mr Thomas.
Now when can I expect delivery? You make that a day earlier and we got a bargain.
I've got a very important deal to set here.
Thank you.
(TELEPHONE RINGS) - Littlefield.
- Mayor, this is Colt Seavers.
Well, I figured I'd hear from you.
COLT: I didn't think my name would mean anything to you, Mayor.
LITTLEFIELD: Oh, [do my homework, Mr Seavers.
And you've got some friends who talk about you as if you were the next best thing to Houdini.
Well, as a matter of fact, those friends are what I wanted to talk to you about.
They don't belong in that jail of yours.
Well, that's not exactly the way we look at it in Littlefield County, sir.
You see, they are charged with assault and battery, malicious mischief, aiding and abetting a jailbreak and conspiracy to murder.
All the same things that you're charged with, sir.
Except that Sheriff LeClerc has added kidnapping to your charges.
Kidnapping? Now hold on.
The victim is a very popular young girl hereabouts.
Name of Mary Walker.
Now why is it I knew you'd say that? Mayor Littlefield, I think it's time we talked a deal.
A deal, sir? Well, now that just doesn't exactly sound Like the spirit of the Law.
Still, I think something probably could be worked out, and the charges against you and your friends just might get dropped if Mary was to appear in my office, alive and well and alone.
I can't get her to go back there, Mayor.
Well, now, you just think about that a minute.
You work on it.
'Cause nobody's going to hurt the young lady.
We just want to make sure that she's not in a position to be Well, to besmirch any of the respected names of this county.
What about Dan Wilde? Who knows? With Mary safely home, the Sheriff may realize that he has been mistaken about Mr Wilde.
Now you think real closely about that, Mr Seavers.
Then you call me back again.
Damn it.
I couldn't get him to say anything the least bit incriminating.
Well, there's something in here to interest the Attorney General, but nothing to take action on.
Maybe I should go talk to him the way we planned.
No, Mary, it wouldn't help.
As long as Littlefield and LeClerc have any members of the Fall Guys, they've got perfect hostages.
Well, that's what Littlefield was really saying, ain't it? And to think a man like that could become powerful enough to control the National Guard.
According to my sources, Colonel Andrew Stonewall Hamilton's an honest man.
But you know how the old saying goes.
Which one's that? "Blood is almost as thick as graft.
" I'm really sorry to have to be the one to say it again, Colt, but it looks like an impossible situation again.
Well, you know what we did about it the last time.
Let's see if ol' Phineas can help us out again.
COLT: We know something's wrong, we'll do the same thing we did last time we got in trouble.
We got help.
- Hi, Melody.
Thank goodness you're back.
You took away half our business that night you made the big speech.
-Where is everybody? - You had to ask.
Actually, that's why I'm here.
I wanted to catch johnny before he went on - He'll be off soon.
- Is his bride here? Charlene? Sure, she's right over there.
Do me a favor.
Would you give this note to johnny when he gets off? Sure thing.
I'll be with Charlene.
- Hi, Charlene.
- Hey, Colt.
Good to see you.
- Johnny'll be glad you're here.
- Yeah, well, I hope so.
I need to make another speech, and I sure could use his help.
Well, from what he tells me, you're a pretty fine talker.
Well, it could help if johnny could kind of get the crowd on my side.
You see, I don't know all these boys as well as I did our regular bunch.
You know, the ones I got to come help me with the little problem I had? Yeah, johnny told me what happened.
Y'all must be really close, huh? That's great, the way you all got together to help save that one guy.
Yeah, that was great.
So you're going to get up there and thank 'em all, huh? - Well, not exactly.
- Not exactly? Well, actually, a lot of 'em aren't here tonight.
Oh, really? They don't come in here any more? Well, no.
I mean, they can't.
-Why's that? - Well, you know the guys that volunteered to go with me down to get my friend out of jail? Well, they're in jail.
- In jail? - In Littlefield.
You mean you're the only one that's not? Charlene, I can explain that.
Is that what you want to do up there on stage? No.
What I want to do on stage is Well, you see, what I thought Well, you know how we, all stuntmen, we all stick together? Well, I thought if I could just tell these boys what happened, by golly, we'd get a whole new bunch and go back down there to that miserable little town and show that ugly little sheriff what we're made of.
What do you think? You're going to get up in the middle of Johnny's show to make that announcement? - Right.
- You got a lot of life insurance, Colt? Charlene, you just don't understand stuntmen.
I mean, even the boys I don't know will just jump in there to stick together.
Yeah? Even after you tell 'em what happened to the last bunch that tried to help you? (MUSIC STOPS) (ALL CHEERING) JOHNNY: Thank you very much.
Thank you.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, there's an old friend of mine out there who's going to come up and say a few words to you, Colt Seavers.
Come on up, Colt.
Go get 'em.
You just watch.
Thank you.
Thank you, johnny.
Colt Seavers is the name.
I just wanted a quick word to all you great fellas out there that belong to the Fall Guys' Stunt Association.
What in the hell happened to those good old stunt boys you talked into going down south to get old Wild Dan out of jail? Yeah.
Where are they? Well, what I was going to say is that (STUTTERING) The mission was a great success.
Wild Dan Wilde is out of jail.
He's a free man.
Good going, Colt.
When are them other good ol' boys coming home? Yeah, you're home, but where are they? Well, like johnnys hit, I guess they're Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places.
Johnny, why don't you play us another song, huh? Thank you.
You were real great, Colt.
Now you know why they don't let stuntmen talk.
MARY: You sure Colt's not gonna be angry? DAN: Colt's not thinking clearly right now.
He's thinking of you and me and all those guys in jail.
He needs some help.
Now get in.
(JOHNNY LEE SINGING) What the hell are you What're you two doing out here? DAN: I keep telling Colt and telling Colt he's got to be more careful.
We both wanted to come along and help you.
Mary, no matter what Littlefield says, you know what danger you and Dan are in if you go back there.
Well, it's a chance I'll have to take.
Those other people have worked so hard on our behalf.
It's the least we could do.
(SIGHS) It'd be a shame if I had to go all the way back to California now.
Oh, thank you, Colt.
Thank you.
Man just brought that in.
Beautiful, huh? Yeah, but I don't understand.
What's it all about? Well, the way I see it, this land scheme's old-fashioned anyway.
I mean, why sell interest in land I don't own when I can sell the whole town? Who's going to buy a town? Oh, big business, Dwight.
They're looking for new headquarters, and when they see Littlefield, they're just gonna jump at it.
Well, the only problem is, john, the town don't look like that.
Well, a special assessment will take care of that.
You mean to tell me you figure to get everybody in the county to pay to make improvements on property you own? Makes very good business sense to me.
Soon as this stunt people business is over, we got nothing to worry about.
You figure that'll be soon? It's gotta be.
We got all the aces sitting in our jail.
No, Seavers has gotta come around.
It's only a matter of time before we get Mary back.
And when we do, she ain't never going no place else, is she? Partner? All right, you two, make yourselves useful.
Dan, put this on the other side of the truck.
Okay, you stay here.
If there's any trouble, you get out of here as fast as you can.
Dan, see if you can find where the bikes are.
Won't put anything past Wild Dan.
That's enough, Gene.
Come on! Come on, Gene, you're fading.
Get those old triceps moving.
Howie, if you'd shut up he'd get it.
You're distracting him.
That's what I'm trying to do.
I've got 14 million bucks bet against his being able to do 40 of these.
You'd never earn enough money to pay off that bet.
That's for sure if we don't get out of here.
- But a man's got to think positively.
- That's right.
(SOFTLY) Howie.
Colt, what're you doing? What does it look like I'm doing? I'm gonna get you out of here.
- How? - No time for Indian talk.
Just wrap this chain around them bars.
Okay, but Colt Don't worry, it'll work like a charm.
I found the bikes.
Right over there in the yard.
You heard the man.
Now, when these bars pop out, y'all run like hell for them bikes.
- Yeah, yeah, but they - Do it, kid.
Colt, you don't understand.
While you were gone, they brought these guys in to work on the wall.
I tried to tell you.
They added some kind of special reinforcement this time.
COLT: Oh, no.
Hold it.
Hold it.
You're under arrest.
You're Dad burn it.
Wasn't too smooth, Colt.
How the heck did I know they were going to reinforce the bars? Murphy's Law.
What the heck is Murphy's Law? "Anything that can go wrong, will.
" Do you think we can get this Murphy fellow to pay for my truck? Oh, that's good.
I think they're gaining, Colt.
COLT: This bridge coming up here gives me a great idea.
I know what you got in mind, Colt.
Let 'er rip.
If Seavers comes back here, we're ready for him.
You were supposed to be ready for him last time.
Well, at least we know Mary's with him.
The boys spotted her in the truck.
Your boys could've done more than just spot her.
(EXPLOSIONS) WELLS: Keep an eye on these here turkeys, they're trouble.
Damn it, Dwight, you've gotta find out where they're hiding, and you've gotta get that little waitress girl back here.
As long as she's out there, ain't none of us ever gonna be safe.
Hey, here's the Mayor and his two stooges.
Well, hey.
What's the matter, Mayor? Looks like something didn't work out the way it was supposed to.
Looks like trouble just keeps popping out all over your streets.
You're gonna have to bring some law and order to this town, Mayor.
That's enough.
You ought to learn some stunt choreography.
That one missed by a mile.
Well, that's all right.
Let 'em have their fun.
There just may be a bright side to this thing, after all.
What're you thinking, john? I'm thinking if Seavers wants to keep coming back into town, we ought to give him a reason to come in.
You murdering Outlaws will start paying now.
And the longer it takes for Seavers to buy, the higher the price will be.
Of course, it doesn't have the tang of a good stew.
Well, you can't have everything, Dan.
I just hope that farmer across the way doesn't notice you've been milking his cows.
Well, the only things that seen me is the chickens.
And they don't dare say anything, because they know I'll eat them.
Don't laugh too much until I've read this.
What is it? Take a look.
The Littlefield Gazette.
Well, what does it say? "The people of Littlefield should finally be able to breathe more easily "as the county prosecutor begins his case "against the outlaw bikers who terrorized Littlefield County recently.
"Mayor john P.
Littlefield told this reporter that he is anxious to see justice done.
"The Mayor said he expects a quick verdict of guilty on all counts.
" Colt, if the Mayor expects a verdict on anything, he usually gets it.
On all counts.
Doesn't that include the Reneau murder, too? That's what I heard.
I'll say one thing for john P.
He sure knows how to play rough.
So, what're we going to do? Well, I'm going to go talk to Littlefield.
No, you're not.
No, I'm going to tell him that I will not testify, that I didn't see anything, if he'll let all the Fall Guys go.
Mary, you can't bargain with people like Littlefield and LeClerc.
Well, we have no choice.
There's no other way.
I've got to take that chance, Colt.
The last person that took that chance is dead.
I'm not gonna let that happen to you.
Well, they got us.
We're beaten this time.
That "quick verdict" isn't in yet, little sister.
Littlefield isn't the only one that can use the National Guard, you know.
COLT: Oh, come now, Colonel, don't be modest.
It was Mayor Littlefield himself who leaked the news that you captured that biker gang.
Sit down.
Now let me get this straight.
Mayor Littlefield contacted you, and suggested No, no, Colonel, not me.
My studio.
Contacted your studio, and told the studio that they should make a movie about me? You'd be an inspiration to the youth of this nation, sir.
And they sent you down here to talk to me about it? Yes, sir.
Seavers, what is your position there? What's your rank, mister? Your title? I'm a producer, sir.
- Trooper? - Yes, sir? Bring in my personal personnel file.
Right away, sir.
It's all in there, Mr Seavers.
My whole history.
How Andrew Stonewall Hamilton rose up through the ranks.
Anzio, Normandy, the Yalu River, Vietnam.
That's wonderful, sir.
That's exactly what we need.
But, I wonder You see, this is going to be an action picture.
A real action picture, and my people want to know exactly what kind of vehicles you have in your command, sir.
- Vehicles? - Yes, sir.
You see, that's what sells these days.
That's the American way, huh? Mr Seavers, you come with me and I'll show you every vehicle on this base that rolls or crawls.
Mary, just who the Mayor's been looking for.
Matt Prentiss.
Merry Christmas.
Well, look what we have here.
I was just saying hello to an old friend.
Dan, this is Matt Prentiss.
Colt said he wanted a deputy.
Well, now, from what you've told me about this gentleman, I think that he's going to be just perfect for what Colt has planned.
This court finds the defendants guilty as charged.
You are remanded over to the state prison.
Okay, let's move 'em along.
Move 'em along.
- Easy, Sheriff, I'll give you a real free ball.
- Come on.
Come on.
I'm a real stuntman here.
I'll give you a real free ball.
Come on.
Get in there.
Well, you Outlaws can't say you don't have a fair county here.
You've certainly gotten your day in court.
Day in court? That trial's a farce and you know it! Yeah, our lawyer fell asleep right after the judge came in, and he still hasn't gotten up.
Roscoe Gentry's been practicing law here before my daddy was born.
Now you cannot blame him for acting his age.
Yeah, well, I'm going to send a letter to the Bar Association.
Not from my jail you don't.
Get in there.
Get in there.
Mayor Littlefield.
Mayor Littlefield.
Mayor, do you hear me? 1 know you're there.
Mayor Littlefield.
Am I hearing things? If you are, so am I.
This is Colt Seavers.
You're taking it out on the wrong people, Mayor.
This is between you and me.
Where is he? Where is he? I want to meet you, Mayor, man to man.
I've been playing with you so far, but now the time for games is over.
Where are you? Come and meet me, Mayor.
I'm at the football stadium, and I'm there alone.
Man to man? Nothing like a fair fight.
I want everybody you got to come out there now.
I hope Colt knows what he's doing.
Of course he does, Jody.
COLT: I'm waiting for you, Mayor, man to man.
We're going to do if.
Well, Mayor, you're right on time.
Mayor, I thought you would come alone.
LITTLEFIELD: What's he doing sitting out there? I'm waiting, Mayor, to see what you're made of.
DAN: Calf, they're all hiding behind the squad cars.
Why're you all hiding behind the cars? I'm just one guy in the middle of a field.
Well, it sure looks like there's somebody out there.
Yeah, but Why'd he do it? LITTLEFIELD: Clever guy like that's gotta have a reason.
Now don't you take your eyes off him.
I think we can keep them tied up here for another five minutes.
Colt, they parked all the cars at one end of the field.
Mayor, you parked all your cars at one end of the field.
Wouldn't it be better to surround me? This is too easy.
Now why is he making it so easy? That could be a dummy.
It's gotta be him.
He can see where we are.
DAN: Okay, Colt, we got 'em real confused.
They're going for it, Colt.
Make your move.
Make your move.
Okay, Seavers, if that's really you, let's see you raise your right hand.
Hell, you heard what the nice man said, now.
LECLERC: Raise it up nice and high where I can see it.
Raise your little arm, or I'll let Harvey come out and play.
LITTLEFIELD: We said raise your hand, or we start shooting.
Come on, raise it.
LITTLEFIELD: I still think it's a dummy.
Make him raise his hand.
Harvey's real anxious.
Raise your arm.
Come on, Matt, raise it up.
LITTLEFIELD: I'm only goin' to give you three more seconds, then we start shootin'.
Well, he ain't a dummy.
Let's go check him out.
LITTLEFIELD: Matt Prentiss? Prentiss, you jackass.
What're you doin' here? MATT: What would you do if you had a snake staring down your throat? LITTLEFIELD: Why, I'll show you what I would have done.
Shoot the snake.
WELLS: It's wax.
You're not Let Murphy try and stop this.
That's beautiful, Colt.
- You sure know how to make an entrance.
- Taxi? Fast, man.
COLT: The cops are right on my tail.
Let's move.
Come on, guys.
Dwight, you get me to the helicopter.
DAN: We did it, Colt.
I told you, Mary, I'm the best teacher.
COLT: We're not out of the woods yet.
All right.
There he is.
Now, you get this chopper down there and you crush that truck.
Oh, he'll pay for coming into Littlefield.
All right.
Now hit him.
Hit him.
Hit him again.
Lower down.
That's it.
We got him now.
Oh, we got him now.
I got you now, Seavers.
Colt, this old truck got a name? - Yeah, "My".
-"My" what? “My 'may.
Why? Keep driving like this, I just want to know what to call it when we kiss it goodbye.
Don't let him in those trees.
Force him back.
Hit him lower.
Come on.
You're letting him get away.
COLT: I got something I want to try.
Get down.
That man's crazy! He's coming straight at us! Get it up! Get it up! Well, Mayor, looks like this time you're coming with us.
Throw the garbage in the back, Dan.
Well, the way I hear it, Littlefield, LeClerc and that deputy are in jail for murder, and the whole town is lined up to testify against the Mayor's business practises.
Well, Colt, you're a hero.
There's a whole county full of grateful people.
Especially me.
Now I can go home.
Home? You said you wanted to leave and never go back.
Yeah, but it wasn't a home the way it was.
Now it can be for everybody, thanks to you.
Well, gee.
Now, all we have to do is figure out how to get them to have a Colt Seavers Day.
I can see it now.
Large cash gifts.
Well, actually, they're doing better than that.
The State Attorney General has said that they would pay for all the damage you guys did.
And the people of Littlefield County want to change its name.
Now that they don't have to live in fear any more, they want to honor the man responsible.
Well, now, ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to thank my cast, my crew for this award.
You're now looking at the man behind Seaverstown.
"Seaverstown" Well, the way they see it, nothing would've happened if old Dan hadn't been locked up.
SQ? So, Wilde County, that's the new name.