The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air s03e15 Episode Script

Robbing the Banks

Yo C can you take me to the beach man.
Will you going to take that baseball to the beach with you.
No no C this isn't just a baseball.
This is autographed by Say Hey Willy Maze I mean I had to sell half you coin collection just to buy it.
Well if you ask me your obsessed.
I'm obsessed? Look Carlton you hurt his feeling, say sorry.
Say it! I'm sorry.
Will seek help.
Carlton can you just drop me off at the beach.
Scrach that drop me off a couple blocks away you know the honeys might get nerves if they see me with a migit.
Will today is seiner day, were supposed to work on our collage applications and think about our futures.
I am and it just that my future that involves sweet young thing in a thong.
Come on lets jet pee-wee.
Forget it Will, I'm not going to the beach I'm going to the library.
Oh really, well I got ten spankies here that says your going to the beach.
They lied.
G can you please take me to the beach? So sorry Master Willam I'm on a break.
G when is it going to be over.
When you get another ride.
Good morning sweetheart.
-Geffory my bag are upstairs.
-How thrilling for you.
Geffory you know I am very very fond of you but I'm also eight months pregnet and I'm not in a very good mood.
I can very easily rip out your heart, eat it then have cappacino.
I'm I making my self quite clear.
Whole mark couldn't have put it any better.
Hey you know Aunt Viv i'm really gonna miss you this weekend.
No your not and i'm not gonna miss you either.
Vivian sweetheart there was army of ants in my shower this morning.
Welcome to the club Phillp call the extermenator, while your at it call the garage door people and the plumber.
Well I thought your gonna take care of that.
Phillp i'm as big as a house.
All I wanna do is lie in bed and eat pie.
Me to but i still get things done.
Guess what, your not gonna believe this.
You paid for your on dinner.
Are you insane.
Im gonna be interviewed by the LA Weekly Now that I'm a famous weather girl people want to know the real me.
Now if anyone asks I'm 21 and fort in Desert Storm.
Madam I've put your luggage in the limousine.
Okay.
Goodbye sweetheart.
-Alright I'll give John and ????? your love.
-Okay And I promise i'll try to come back in a better mood.
If I come back at all.
You know Uncle Phil if were lucky she'll come back as Claire Huckstable.
Look a black Howdy Dudy.
That is my assistant Edward, shame on you Will.
God! Good morning Howdy, err Edward.
Good morning Jugde Banks I hope you dont mind the inposition but I thought you could review your notes on the way to court.
Edward even I can't drive and read at the same time.
Sure you can Uncle Phil I do it every morning on the way to school.
Actually I took the liberty to putting your notes on tape.
Thank you Edward it must have taken you hours.
Three days, But I found it extermly inlightning not to mention rewarding.
Yeah.
I almost forgot one thing.
If it's your nose I think I know where you left it.
I was hoping that I could have a day of.
I have a interview with a very persegus lawfirm.
I have a very busy day today Edward can't you postpone it.
Ofcourse I'll be happy to.
I'll just wait another eight months.
Go to the interview Edward.
Thank you Sir.
Thank you again, and again, and again.
Ed do you want me to get you some knee pads.
Mr.
Banks, the gardener left this for you.
Dear Mr.
Banks how can I put this your wife is crazy and your cheap I quit adious Hector.
Great just what I need.
Can I be of assistant Sir.
Yes you can now call the gardener call the extermenator find a plumber and fix the garage door.
Even Aladin only got three wishes.
What I'm I gonna do, how am I gonna make it through the day without an assistant.
Oh well gotta go.
Not so fast Will.
I really need your help.
Uncle Phil look you know I'm your man right, but come on today is senior day.
I gotta go down to the beach and harash young women.
Will sometimes you have to put yourself aside and do something to help others.
You know your right Uncle Phil and I see it, it's like a vision.
I'm gonna do that when am thirty.
Will I'll never make it through this day without help.
Come on like my father used to say to me, its better to give then to recive.
Your pap had a bit of a drinking problem didn't he.
Get out of those clothes and get in the damn car.
A gentleman would atleast give me dinner first.
And if you want to stay out of jail I sugest you stop asosiating with nown criminals and low life scums.
Jamal.
Will! Whats up! -Man you cool, you cool this is my Uncle.
-Alright Yo Uncle Phil this isThe defendent.
Sit down Will.
Oh my fault sorry.
Hey Jamal why don't you offer him this Kit-Kit Will! Next Case.
Where are my files? I got them right here Uncle Phil.
I'll just clean them up a little bit.
Why? I don't know man some fool spilt some slurpy or something on it.
People vs Luther Devens case number 3612 What's up baby why don't you stnog your number down for me Girl you look so good I wish I could plant you and grow a whole field of ya'll.
Will, would you approch the bench please.
Yeah just a second Uncle Phil Get your butt over here.
Closer.
Come closer.
Come on, come on.
Come On.
May I remind you that you are hear to help me not help yourself.
Now you sit your butt over there and shut up.
Kong not happy.
Well, Counceler I see that your client has violted probation again.
Why hasn't he found a job yet? He's tried your Honor but he hasn't been able to.
Were here to request more time.
Mr.
Devens I see you've served five years in a penitentiary.
I'm sure you learned to trade in there.
Actually I wrote a book your Honor.
Word.
Thats kinda fly man.
Hey, tell that to the publishers that rejected me.
I hate rejections, as a matter of fact I wrote a book of poetry about it.
Mr.
Devens.
I find it difficult to believe that you put forth in honest effort to find employment.
I'm willing to take any kind of job your Honor.
I'm good with my hands, I can fix paractical anything.
Then why are you unemployed.
I'm a ex-con nobody wants to hire an ex-con.
Oh please, thats a very lame execuse Mr.
Devens.
Are you aware that I am perfectly within my rights to send you back to prison.
Yo Uncle Judge.
Uncle Phil you could give him a job.
Are you crazy he's and ex-con.
Come on Uncle Phil all that stuff that's broken round the house.
Plus I'm telling you I got a good feeling about this guy, look at him.
I don't think that would work Will.
Uncle Phil, remember what your pap said it is better to give then recive.
I really really hate you.
Love you to Uncle Phil.
Yo check it out G ma Willy Maze just went up again, I can get 300 spankies for this.
And when you finsh mowing the lawn you can prown Mrs.
Banks roses.
My pleasure.
I have a date tonight would you mind washing the car.
Oh and can you jack up the drivers seat a little.
And can you pick up my dress from the dry-cleaners.
And while your at it could you type up your thoughts on the Industrial Revolution double space and put my name on it.
You drible and you shoot you know you hope for the best.
I'll take care of everything right away and thanks again for the work.
Hey, there's more where that came from.
What a great guy.
Incredable.
Dude got it going on I mean expecal after spending 5 years in the PEN.
The PEN? Please tell me that slang for The Valley.
Don't everybody over react but he did surve some time for burguly.
Are you out of your damn mindAshley! Oh my god I got to make myself look less atractive.
I know I'll put on something of mom's.
I'm nailing down all of my dolls right now.
Me to.
Hold it! Now the man has paid his dept of society.
Yeah.
He deserves a second chance like everybody else.
Who's idea was this.
His.
Will you have put this entire family in danger.
This is the dumbest thing you've ever done.
Will your are a genius.
Luthur is a godsend, he fix all the bulbs in my Venotie Mirror.
I'm even prettier then I thought.
You know Hilary I don't think it's possible to be prettier then you thought.
Thank you Will.
Yo Will I fixed that T.
V.
in your room.
Oh by the way you now get the Playboy channel.
My man.
I don't know Will.
I don't think I'll leave a convicted fellow alone in my room.
But what could you have possible of any value.
What you talking about man.
How about for instance my Willy Maze baseball.
Look at the time.
4 o'clock already, better get some sleep.
Where's my Willy? Carlton I can't find my Willy! Carlton tell me that there's a baseball in this thing.
There's no baseball Will.
I guess you wasn't listening.
Carlton tell me that there's a baseball in this thing! It's gone.
Will, Luther's a thief.
What are we gonna do.
We don't know Luther did it.
Come of it Will.
If it looks like duck smells like a duck and sounds like a duck what is it.
Your prom date.
I told you she had a cold.
Look if your so sure Luther didn't take it why don't you just ask him.
He won't have anything to hide.
Come on Carlton you can't just walk up to people and acuse them off stuff.
You think he did it, you ask him.
Oh right, like I'm going to march up to a vicious harded criminal and say "Hey Mister Can I Have My Ball Back And Please Don't Snap My Neck Like A Twig" Will, you have to be clever to out think the criminal mind.
Hey Luthur.
I'll find out if he's honest.
Hey Luthur you dropped your wallet.
No thats yours.
So it is.
How honest of you to say so.
So Luthur, baseball is a fine game isn't it? Oh yeah.
Carlton, can I have a word with you? Sure.
The word is "Idiot" man, can't you see he's innocent? Well I'm going to buy my self some lumber I want to get started on that trellis.
Good for you Luthur, nice talking to you Luthur, your doing a darn good job Luthur.
Great having you abord Luthur.
Thanks.
See you Luthur.
Luthur's guilty Will, I'm going to tell dad.
No your not man, cause if you do I'm gonna tell him about those calls you been making to one-nine-hundred horney.
You wouldn't? Come on boys lets go out to dinner.
Out? We can't go out.
We got lots of food right here, we can't leave the house our stuff is here.
Carlton, Jeffory's away mom's gone, if we don't go out to eat we'll starve.
Come on lets celebrate, it's not everyday that will does something right.
Luthur's a good worker.
Good thing he worked out or I'd have to take it out of your hide.
That would be nasty wouldn't it? Come on boys lets go.
Will we got to tell dad about Luthur he might be dangerous.
Carlton please, the man is innocent.
Trust me.
What happened in here.
We was robbed.
Oh my god, what they take.
I knew it.
I told you we shouldn't have left Luthur here.
Luthur did this? Will dad's gonna kill you.
Why? No he's not.
First of all we don't even know that Luthur did this.
Second of all Uncle Phil's a fair man he can blame me for none of this.
Will I'll kill you.
Uncle Phil this ain't my fault man.
I don't believe this.
"Why Don't You Give Him A Job Uncle Phil".
"I Got A Good Feeling About Him Uncle Phil".
Look Uncle Phil I'm telling you there's probably a perfectly good explanation for this.
Like what? Maybe Luthur took all our stuff to get his scotch guarded.
It could happen.
Shut up! Any idiot could see he's guilty.
I'm calling the police.
My Tevin Campbell posters.
If he's touched them I will hunt him down like a dog.
Wait a minute, lets just calm down here.
What did he lose for real.
A bunch of things.
Were all healthy.
Were all safe.
Were all the video games? Alright I can't breathe.
Well he got all the T.
V.
s.
He got all the silverwear too.
Feel like such a fool.
He was probably planning this from day one.
Don't blame yourself big guy, blame will.
He should have told you when Luthur stole his baseball.
What baseball? What Baseball? Baseball Game With A Man With Stick Hit Ball And Run.
Something Like This.
Hold it! You mean to tell me that Luthur stole your Willy Maze and you didn't tell me about it.
I didn't really know Uncle Phil.
If we want to be serious about this, this is all your fault.
Excuse Me! If you had let me go to the beach, then none of this would have never happened.
Will, I will give you to the count of 10 to get out of my sight.
Nine! Luthur get on my nerves, steals my stuff and I get in trouble.
I wish that punk was in here right now, boy cause I'd scream like a girl, Uncle Phil! Luthur's in the house.
Yeah you right, Dig Me With My Bad Self.
The hell are you doing here? Let me warn you Luthur I've called the police! You got a lot of damn nerve coming back here after you robbed us.
What are you talking about? Oh please! If this wall wasn't in my way mister you'd be plenty sorry.
After we gave you a second chance this is how you repay us.
I did not rob you, you got to believe me.
Will you believe me, right? Its people like you who give ex-cons a bad name.
Am calling the police man.
Damn! That was fast.
They must have thought we were white folk.
-Come on in officer.
-Thank you.
Thank god you got here when you did, I was about to turn this sucker out.
Officer I want you to arrest this man, he stole my baseball and some other stuff.
-I can't do that Sir.
-Why not.
We already arrested the perpetrader.
His name Edward Haskel.
Claims to be your law perk.
Edward, officer there must be some kind of mistake.
Oh am afraid not Sir, see we say his Uhall double parked.
Pon suggesting he moved the vehicle.
Suspect broke down and confessed to cleaning you out Sir.
Why would he wanna rob me? Well acording to him "He's sick and tired of getting you Bagels".
"It's not his job to iron your Robes.
And he said you unfairly accused him of calling one-nine-hundred horney.
The man is obvously a deviant.
Thank you officer, I'll meet you down at the station to make a positive I.
D.
Luthur.
Luthur, were sorry we were wrong.
Tell me about it.
Luthur, sorry someone in my possition should be a better judge of charcter I'd like for you to continue to work for us.
Well after working i this house, jail wont be so bad.
See you.
Well I trust we all learnt somehing from this.
Yeah, don't work for you.
Well we werent compleatly wrong about Luthur Yes we were, he didn't touch my ?????? posters.
Yeah well he took Will's baseball.
You mean the one in the plastic case? I boroad it for ???? practice.
Where is it Ashley that thing is worth alot of money! Really didn't look like it, somebody wrote all over it.
But don't worry I cleaned it off for you.
Where are those damn ????? posters.
No!
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