The Girls on the Bus (2024) s01e10 Episode Script

The Everydays

Grace, wake up. I need you.
Kimberlyn, Lola, rise and shine.
Everybody, let's go downstairs.
I need at least six hours of sleep
to cover a brokered convention.
I just took a shit-ton of CBN.
- I'm prime time tomorrow.
- Yeah.
You guys just get your beauty rest.
It's only our democracy at stake!
Dick Braun went from
billionaire brainchild
of crypto, running the world's
largest digital exchange,
to a wanted fugitive.
His company, Pygmy FX,
valued at $52 billion, is now bankrupt.
The man, the legend, Dick
Braun joins us now live.
Bryce, thank you for having me.
You know, I was napping
in my sleep sack,
and the maid comes in.
And I'm watching her,
and I realized the regulators, the SEC,
they all have the IQ of this woman
who cannot figure out
how to use a fitted sheet.
Why am I watching this
when I should be sleeping?
Oh, no reason. I just figured we
could all use a little brush-up
on Dick Braun since I
just found out he's the one
who paid for the dirt on Walker.
I think he's using his billions
to meddle in the election
and try to get Hot White Guy elected.
So, you know, we need to stop him.
What do you mean,
found out? Who told you?
Okay, well, even if this is true,
at least he's not the worst candidate.
But what if he is?
What if Hot White Guy
is the actual devil?
I mean, we've been giving this guy
a free hall pass for months.
Now he might be the Democratic nominee,
and what do we actually know about him?
What do the American
people know about him?
Fucking nothing.
And that's on us.
- We failed.
- No, we didn't fail.
I don't spend my time vetting candidates
- polling in the single digits.
- Really?
Really, there's nothing that
you wish you'd followed up on?
- No. Um
- Hmm?
Maybe the car crash in South Carolina.
I still don't know who
the mystery woman is.
My editor said there was no
there there, so I dropped it.
We all dropped it.
I mean, we liked him.
Hell, even Lola liked him.
The man held a baby.
Okay, well, we still
have time to fix this.
We gotta find out everything
we can about Hot White Guy.
The roll call vote is tomorrow night.
Action Star's delegates
are up for grabs,
so that means it's
basically a two-way tie
between the Mayor and Walker,
and the delegates
need to know the truth.
You know what?
That Ken Doll Mayor is always bragging
about his grassroots
army of online donors.
I call bullshit.
I don't usually say
this, but Lola is right.
We should look into all the angles.
Okay, I'm starting a group chain
so we can share our reporting.
All right.
I'm gonna scrub the shit out
of the Mayor's background.
- Lola, follow the money.
- Yeah.
Grace, follow the woman.
Kimberlyn, follow up
with your GOP sources.
The first person who
finds anything concrete,
- run with it.
- Calm down, Ben Bradley.
Oh, OTR on the record, baby.
- No, no, it's off the record.
- Okay. I know.
I'm fucking with you.
I'm ordering a pot of coffee.
- Okay, look, Sadie
- Huh?
Do not beat yourself
up about this, okay?
We're gonna figure it out,
but you gotta get some rest.
Yeah, I'll be right up.

Hey, whoa.
Hey, there she is.
What time is it?
Uh, almost 7:00. Did
you spend the night here?
I, uh, I was working.
Where are you headed?
Catching an Acela home to D.C.
What about what about the vote?
It's in, like, less than 12 hours.
I will catch "The Sentinel's" needle
with the rest of the civilians.
I thought you were more
of a Delta Shuttle guy.
Aw, you remembered.
Do you do you really have to go?
Ah, well, there's
nothing for me here, so.
I mean, there's nothing for me to do.
Mm-hmm, right.
You, on the other hand, you
got your hands full, you know?
Busy speaking truth to
power, all that nonsense.
Mm, nonsense, all of it.
I gotta figure out my next move.
Hey, you're gonna be
all right, McCarthy.
Come here.

I'm your host, Mike Moriarty,
and today, we've got a close one.
We're here with Felicity Walker
and Hayden Wells Garrett, neck and neck.
Lola, why does it smell like
a hippie's armpit in here?
Oh, it's this Juniper
Palo Santo partnership.
- Why, you don't like it?
- Ugh.
Can you hear me that, please?
Okay, fine. What?
I'll just burn it while you're at work.
Oh, no, that's not it, it's
I have an apartment here and a doorman
and a walk-in closet and a husband.
I should be home.
Well, what about Sadie's
Hot White Guy assignment?
I don't even think I'm gonna
be that much help with that.
Weirdly, all of my GOP sources like him.
Ugh, proof that he's a bad
fucking dude, Kimberlyn.
Hey, look.
The second you guys find something,
I will shout it from the rooftops, okay?
I promise.
I still don't want you to leave.
Look, this has been super fun,
but it's time for me to face my life.
So does that mean I have
to start packing up too?
No, Liberty Direct is
paying for this room.
You can say.
Oh, thank God.
What? You said it was on Liberty.
Hi, this is Sadie McCarthy
from "The Sentinel."
You were on Parris Island
with Hayden Wells Garrett, right?
Would you be willing
to go on the record?
Background? Anything?
And you served with the Mayor in Iraq.
Would you be willing
to go on the record?
- Are you there?
Hi, this is Sadie McCarthy
from "The Sentinel."
We're a newspaper.
And you served with the Mayor in Iraq.
Hayden Wells Garrett, he's
he's running for president.
No, no, he's not he's
not the president yet.
He's running. It's called a primary.
Just never mind.
It's fine. Thank you.
Sadie McCarthy.
Declan Morales.
Finally. Finally.
Look, I know that Braun
is backing the Mayor,
and I could tell that something
was up from his time in Iraq,
but no one's giving me anything usable.
I need your help.
I'm dropping you a pin.
Meet me in an hour.

I thought we said no phones.
You are right. We did.
I'm sorry.
That's a bullshit rule. What's going on?
Nothing, just just work.
It's okay.
Does anyone have anything
interesting to discuss?
Well, I thought we'd see
a show this afternoon.
- That's fun. What show?
- "The Lehman Trilogy."
Oh, a three-hour play
about an investment bank?
- Sounds so fun.
Uh, this is my editor,
literally two seconds.
Walt, hi.
Yes, well well, I am
chasing something bigger.
Yes, bigger than a brokered convention.
Just find me a competent stringer
that can handle news of the day.
Is that too much to ask?
Thank you.
Everyone enjoying their pancakes?
They're really fluffy.
Maybe the Frick could be fun.
Fuck the Frick. What is happening?
So much.
So much is happening.
The Democrats may have
a Manchurian candidate on their hands
or he's the one pulling the strings.
I don't know which.
What I do know is that if I cannot find
a competent stringer who
can handle the bullshit news,
I will never nail this story.
- Maybe I could help.
- No, Annie.
I'm serious.
Before I destroyed my life
by dropping out of school
and following a sociopath,
I was getting an A in New Journalism.
You were taking New Journalism?
You were getting an A?
Do you know the difference
between background
and deep background?
How long you been standing there?
Not long.
- Can I, um
- Yeah.
I thought you were staying
at the hotel tonight.
Yeah, I was.
Then I missed my bed.
I missed you.
Well, thank God.
I don't mean to sound ungrateful,
but everything but "the"
and "and" is redacted.
Everything you need to take
down the Mayor is in there
and here.
Off the record?
I told the Mayor
things, personal things.
I actually thought he was the
most decent man I'd ever met.
Everyone thought that.
That's why Dick Braun handpicked him.
But then why would Braun pay
to dig up dirt on his own horse?
What better way to have
leverage over a candidate
and the president than to
know his darkest secrets?
And I should warn you,
we could both be
arrested for having those.
You're a whistleblower.
We've got the First
Amendment on our side.
Tell that to Snowden and James Risen.
The DOJ uses the Espionage
Act to come after spies,
leakers, reporters.
They can and will prosecute anyone
who disseminates government secrets
related to national defense.
Well, then I better get reading them.
We have to stop him
from becoming president.
We will.
I promise.
Okay, my chocolate superstar, I'm ready.
Tell me all of it. Give me the details.
Don't spare me a drop.
- Tell me everything.
- Okay.
I mean, isn't that
much of a story to tell.
Terry Heite called me into his office.
Terry Heite?
Terry Heite? Big Dog Terry Heite?
Big Dog Terry Heite
recognized my big dog wife?
- Is that what you're saying?
- Stop it.
- You're making me blush.
- No, I'm proud of you.
Okay, so you get your own segment.
I get my own show.
He wants to roll it out
during the convention.
So you're home now, right?
You get to be home.
That's what this means.
That's what that means.
Are you are you
being humble or are you
- not that happy about it?
- No, I'm happy.
- Of course I'm happy. I'm happy.
- Okay. You're sure?
- Yeah.
- 'Cause it seems like
there's something you're
not telling me then.
I have been considering
some other options.
Because, you know,
Liberty has been a challenge, and I
And you rose to meet that challenge.
And that is exactly
why now you get to do
what you've always wanted to do.
You get to do what you love,
and we can build a life together.
Maybe even a family
If that's still what you want.
That is the only thing I
know for sure that I want.
I don't know much,
but I know I've got ♪
Je ne sais quoi ♪
Ooh, la, la, la, ooh, la, la ♪
Je ne sais quoi, ooh, la, la, la ♪
Ooh, la, la, la, je ne sais quoi ♪
Ooh, la, la, la, ooh, la, la ♪
Je ne sais quoi, ooh,
la, la, la, la, la ♪
I told you I'm freelance,
but I'm in Senator Walker's
traveling press corps.
[SIGHS] I have to get inside.
Je ne sais quoi ♪
Ooh, la, la, la, la, la ♪
I think Dick Braun is using
the Mayor as his puppet.
He wants to control him.
And the Mayor isn't who he says he is.
You know those ads he's been running,
touting himself as a war hero?
All politicians embellish
their personal stories.
No, I'm not talking
about embellishment, Alex.
He lied about his entire story.
Are you saying that he
was never captured by ISIS?
No, he was.
It just wasn't for an act of heroism.
He he abandoned his post.
He was charged with
with desertion and misbehavior
unbefitting of a marine.
Soldiers died searching for him,
and the Pentagon buried it.
And all of this is in those documents?
My source obtained them from the DOD,
the NSA they're legit.
And we and we need
to move fast on this.
We have to publish
before the roll-call vote.
Someone is going to
win this election today.
The delegates need to know the truth.
Sadie, the roll call vote
starts in less than two hours.
These are explosive,
libelous allegations.
Our lawyers would need
to do a thorough review.
Even if the documents are authentic,
we would be criminally
exposed by even having
classified intelligence,
much less publishing it.
And you would need to
give the Mayor, Dick Braun,
anyone involved, time to comment.
- Sadie.

Who are you, and what have
you done with my friend Lola?
I know, I know.
I just thought maybe
if I dressed the part
then I would be let inside.
Just made me more of a joke.
You know a young female
journalist's superpower?
Nice tits?
Being underestimated.
I can't even get inside for
them to underestimate me.
All of the big donors are in the arena.
If I'm gonna break this money story,
then I have to be in
there with the money.
Fuck that. Access is a curse.
You don't need them.
What have you got so far?
Just show me.
Well, nothing concrete yet.
But my gut says
if this Dick Braun crypto bro
was able to create an
entire scam currency,
then he could have
easily made an algorithm
to filter his donations
to make them look like
they were small-dollar gifts.
Avoiding FEC laws like the Koch brothers
- funding the Tea Party.
- Exactly.
All right, let's stick with that, okay?
Brenda, can you give me ten seconds?
Okay, thank you.
This might be a lead on the accident.
Now, listen to me.
Party insiders and
donors aren't your ticket.
You are an outsider,
and not for much longer.
So use that and break the story.
Brenda, hi.
Yeah, no, I'm sorry. I'm all yours.
Please take your seats.
The roll call is about to begin.
Oh, yes, I love it.
Thank you, Monty.

Welcome, everyone. Welcome.
We will now proceed with a
roll call vote of the states
to nominate the Democratic
Party's candidate
to become the next President
of the United States.
Alabama, Heart of Dixie,
home of the Crimson Tide,
casts all of its 52 votes
to Senator Felicity Walker.
Yes, I have had a lot
of eye-opening background conversations.
I need to get something on the record.
So just think about what
you would be willing to say.
Thank you.
The great state of Alaska,
North to the Future,
The Last Frontier, has 15 delegates
to Senator Felicity Walker.
I know this sexy hacker in Shanghai
deep in with the dark-web shit.
I can get her on this.
Wait, can she tailor the search
to target a fundraising platform?
Connecticut, The Charter Oak,
casts 11 votes for
Senator Felicity Walker
and 49 for Mayor Hayden Wells Garrett.
Mr. Mayor, it's "The Sentinel."
We need to talk.
So, like, I fucked a guy
in Tulum whose whole job
is to hide money for the rich.
You know, the web is the new Caymans.
A walled tropical garden
of opaque transactions.
The great state of
Georgia, The Peach State,
casts 32 votes for Senator Walker
and 73 votes for Mayor
Hayden Wells Garrett.
Anything on the mystery woman?
Mm, nothing usable yet.
Kansas, Home of the Jayhawks,
Amber Waves of Grain,
casts its 39 votes for native son
Mayor Hayden Wells Garrett.
Mr. Mayor, we need to talk.
It's urgent.
I was just fine-tuning my speech.
You have a way with
words. Do you wanna help?
I don't.
So this digital fundraising platform,
it sounds pretty simple, right?
Totes. It's like buying followers.
- Not that I've done that.
- Mm-hmm.
Kentucky, The Bluegrass
State, Home of the Derby,
proudly casts its 54 votes
to Mayor Hayden Wells Garrett.
Mr. Mayor, I don't
think you're hearing me.
I have official documents showing
that you were dishonorably discharged.
So let me ask you this again.
Did you lie about your military record?
Sadie, I don't know who's
feeding you this garbage,
but you know me.
It's not a denial.
Michigan, The Great Lakes
State, The Wolverine State,
casts 32 votes for
Senator Felicity Walker
and 93 votes for Mayor
Hayden Wells Garrett.
According to his campaign,
in the last quarter,
the mayor of Topeka received 5 million
individual contributions
totaling $28 million,
breaking fundraising records.
But according to my
sources, that amount came
from a single donor, the
crypto criminal Dick Braun.
I spoke with Lizzie.
I'd want you to be Chief
White House Correspondent.
That's that's your dream, right?
Not like this, it's not.
If Dick Braun is
blackmailing you, tell me now.
We'll publish it, expose him.
West Virginia, The Mountain
State, Heart of Appalachia,
casts 28 votes for
Senator Felicity Walker.
Come on, Sadie. You can't be that naive.
You know that every single
presidential candidate
has played dirty. That's the game.
What, you think that FDR didn't
lie and root around in shit
just so he could implement the New Deal?
LBJ had to kiss a lot of assholes,
but thank God he did,
because he passed the Civil Rights Act.
He expanded Social
Security, voting rights
bold, sweeping legislation
that moved this country forward.
So what if he had to do some
unsavory things to get there?
Spare me the sanctimony.
You're a fucking fraud, and
I'm gonna tell the world.
Shh, shh, shh.
Do you hear that?
That's the sound of me
becoming the nominee.
The Middle Coast proudly
casts all of its 84 delegates
to Mayor Hayden Wells Garrett.
Please congratulate the next
President of the United States
I couldn't have done this without you.
Stick with me, McCarthy.
We'll make history together.
Who walked into the room? ♪
Who walked into the room? ♪
'Cause it feels like crashing ♪
And it feels like landing ♪
And I want to dance ♪
And I want to cry ♪
Your wide eyes ♪
Your wide eyes ♪
Here is everything,
I got nothing to hide ♪
And I got your wide eyes ♪
Your wide eyes ♪

Give me a minute.

The pink bus was a mistake.
The bus was epic.
That's what the think pieces will say.
"Walker blew it again.
She overplayed the woman card."
Senator, I am I am so
Here, I think we can
drop the formalities now.
Call me Felicity.
They were never gonna
let me be president.
Felicity, I know
I know Dick Braun and the
Mayor colluded to take you
Dick Braun?
That's what you think this is about?
Who were you talking about?
The American people.
[STAMMERS] Sen Felicity,
more people voted for you.
If it hadn't been for
that fucking dossier
Sadie, it's over.
If it wasn't Dick Braun, it
would have been someone else.
If it wasn't puppy
play, it would have been
some other nothingburger scandal.
If it wasn't you, it would
have been another journalist.
You're all the same
big egos, not very bright.
It's not about you and me.
It's the system.
God, that's depressing.
You called me an enigma on the
front page of "The Sentinel."
- I just meant
- No, you were right.
Years of racist, sexist attacks
I put up walls. I developed
a protective armor.
But what did people want from me?
I think people just wanted you to be
the best version of yourself.
Yeah, be yourself and
you're playing a card
a race card, the woman card.
Hide yourself and you're
cold, calculating, a bitch.
We were harder on you
because you're a woman,
because-because you're defensive,
because you're fucking impossible.
I'm sorry, but you
kind of are sometimes.
But no candidate is perfect.
And deep in my heart,
I always knew that you were
a committed public servant.
You cared about the
people the media ignored.
And you would have
made a great president.
I'd like to be alone now.

The Democrats love to
talk about diseased aliens
and trans-friendly daycares.
But when the day comes,
who do they elect?
A straight white man.
They hate us 'cause they ain't us.
Felicity Walker is now a two-time loser.
You had to endure traveling
the country with that woman.
What do you think, Kimberlyn?
You know what, Mike?
I'm gonna tell you what I think
after traveling the country.
I think that we're in a recession.
I think folks are working
longer hours for lower wages.
I think they can't afford to buy eggs
or fill up their gas tank.
Their jobs have gone to China,
their towns are boarded up,
their husbands are unemployed,
their sons are on opioids,
their neighborhoods are unsafe,
and yet the liberals want us to believe
that the rise in crime
is all in our heads.
If they're white, their economic
anxiety is dismissed as racism.
And if they're Black or brown,
they can't vote Republican
without being told they've somehow
internalized white supremacy?
We sit in our bubbles and we
post our politics on Twitter.
But God forbid we actually do something
to improve people's lives.
Half of the country is
screaming into an abyss,
and the other half is just
too tired to scream at all.
And then there's you, Mike.
There's you and the rest
of Liberty Direct News.
Instead of bridging the
divide, you pour salt in it.
And the worst part is,
you don't actually believe
half of the vitriol you're spewing.
You exploit our viewers' deepest fears,
stoking grievances, inciting riots,
and then you bring me out
here to widen the audience
and make you feel a little less racist
before retreating to your
safe space at the Yale Club.
And yes, Mike, I know you went to Yale
even though you scrubbed
it from your Wikipedia page.
And Nellie Carmichael,
if you're watching this,
I know you saw "Hamilton" twice.
You bitch.
I am tired of being your token.
I won't do it anymore.
I'm tired of screaming into an abyss,
and you should be too.
Cut off cable news, quit Facebook,
get off Twitter, and get mad.
Get pissed. Demand better.
Demand better of us
because you deserve it.
And as for me, I promise
to be less focused
on lip gloss and ratings,
and more focused on holding
both sides accountable.
The future of our country depends on it.
I'm talking to you, Mr. Mayor.
You're the bloody
money-in-politics beat reporter
for "The Wall Street
fucking Journal," Brad.
Do you wanna tell me how an influencer
beat us on the biggest
money story of the cycle?
Oh, for fuck's sake.
- Over here.
- Are you all right?
I got here as quickly as I could.
You gotta be freaking out right now.
No, I'm not freaking out.
You want a drink?
No. You did you not get fired?
Oh, yeah, I got fired. I got real fired.
But I think that I have something else,
something better.
I don't understand.
Okay, the speech that I just gave
was not exactly off the cuff.
I've been writing it for a while.
But at first it was just,
like, ramblings for myself,
just a way to get my
feelings off my chest.
Then I had an idea, and
it was kind of a big idea,
so I didn't think that
I could pull it off,
but I did, and I think that it worked.
What worked?
I do not what the hell
are you talking about?
Okay, I had a meeting
with a media consultant
named Johnny Beamer about
launching my own media outlet.
Nobody is talking to
the center-right anymore.
Rational conservatives
who have values like mine
don't have anywhere to go.
And Beamer liked the idea,
but he didn't think that I had
enough followers and everything
to really properly launch it.
So he thought that maybe
I needed a viral moment.
And, baby, I am trending. Look.
I'm sorry, are you saying
that you planned this?
And you didn't bother to tell me?
Well, it's like I said.
I wasn't sure I really had
the nerve to actually do it.
Yeah, but the whole meeting with Beamer,
this whole other life plan?
Girl, you clearly put
a lot of work into this.
You built a pitch deck, didn't you?
[SCOFFS] We talked about everything
and you didn't think
this was worth mentioning?
I tried to, but you were really happy
about the Liberty job, and I just
I felt like if I told you
about this crazy idea I had,
you'd probably try to talk me out of it.
And then I would never take the risk.
Oh, so that's what I am.
I'm the guy that talks you out of stuff.
No, I'm not saying
that you're talking me
out of what I wanna do, I'm
just where are you going?
- You can't just
- I gotta go.
I got a meeting that I pushed
specifically to support you.
And it sounds like you
don't even want that.
In fact, Kimmy, I don't
really know what you want.
I really don't.

Sadie, why does the FBI want to see you?
Did you tell anyone
about those documents?
No. No.
Not really.
I reached out to the Mayor for comment.
I told him what I learned.
They want you down at
the federal building now.
Now? But the convention is
Sadie, I'm not asking.
Go. Now.
So what's our next move?
I'm crazy.
You're not here. No. You're not real.
This is not this is not
Said the reporter who has lengthy talks
with Hunter S. Thompson.
Fair point.
I miss you, Bruce.
Oh, for the love of God and Johnny Cash,
will you buck the fuck up?
Nobody said this caper would be easy.
Come on, come on, we got work to do.
- What do you know?
- Okay.
We we know Dick Braun is
a is a bad fucking dude.
And he is backing the Mayor,
who is most definitely a liar
a liar who may or may not
have reported me to the FBI.
But none of it matters anymore.
- He won.
- No.
That's what makes it a better story.
Nobody wins a Pulitzer
for taking down a small-time mayor.
Nope. He's the nominee.
Why why do you think Braun
would back a nobody mayor?
My best guess?
Braun knows the power
of a pretty filter.
Put deregulation,
pro-business, neoliberal policy
behind the Mayor's glossy façade,
add the fact that he's a Democrat,
and most people won't realize
that he is quietly shredding
our social safety net.
This is a great fucking story.
But I God, I need
a comment to publish,
and I'm supposed to drop everything
and report to the Feds.
Well, fuck the feds.
You're a journalist.
But I can't even get near Hot White Guy
now that he's the nominee.
You know there's somebody else out there
who can confirm or deny this
all of it.
You gotta be kidding me.
You find Dick Braun,
and you confront him with what you know.
Don't give up on this.
And don't give up on yourself.
My money's on you, Polar Bear, always.
Oh, God.

Can I buy you a coffee?
- No, thanks.
- Bloody Mary?
Uh, look, you're cute in a
Steve Kornacki type of way,
but you are not my type. Sorry.
- I'm not hitting on you.
- Why not? Fuck off.
[CHUCKLES] Okay. Okay.
Uh, let's try this again.
My name is Tate Winston Wade.
I'm the Washington Bureau Chief
at "The Wall Street Journal."
We read your story on the Mayor's
online fundraising juggernaut
with great interest.
So what are your thoughts on Feingold?
Mm, I prefer real gold.
But here we were, so focused on holes
in McCain-Feingold soft
money, sourcing at super PACs,
chasing independent expenditures
in a post-Citizens United world.
But you came in with a fresh angle.
It's impressive.
I have no idea what you just said.
You will.
Come work for me.
Texting your girl tribe so early.
Guess there's a lot to
unpack after last night.
It's the truth.
But I'm actually texting with Annie.
She got a lead on my mystery woman.
It's so great what you're doing.
Annie needs this type of
encouragement from you,
even if it's just to build
her self-esteem back up.
Have you ever seen me
blow smoke up anyone's ass?
- No.
- Our girl is on fire.
I'm telling you, Annie
could have a future at this.
Well, we'll see.
I mean, she's supposed to
sign up for some classes
at community college next semester.
Fuck community college.
She wanted a gap year.
Let's make it worthwhile.
You already have something in mind.
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, boy.
All right, well, at least
let me just get some coffee.
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
Pygmy FX Manhattan.
- Jay Carl, please.
- Who's calling?
This is Sadie McCarthy
from "The Sentinel."
- Again?
- Yes, again.
Please hold.
- Yeah, I'll hold.
Oh, shit.
So I was in Delaware when I
realized, I don't have a home.
Did you get rid of your apartment?
No, uh, the thing I'm
I am trying to say,
Sadie, is, uh, you are my home.
Yeah, so, um, I was headed
back to my sad, empty,
very tidy Georgetown
apartment, and I realized
I love your messy, mid-range hotel room.
I love that you have 15
half-empty water bottles
all around you at all times.
I love that your power cords,
they're constantly tangled.
I love that you wear boxers
in a freezing cold hotel room.
I love that you you mumble
about the Electoral College
in your sleep, and every morning,
it takes you 45 minutes
to turn off your alarm.
I love that you eat more Twizzlers
than could possibly be healthy.
I love that you are the only person
who understands this crazy
lifestyle we've chosen.
Sadie McCarthy, you are the only person
who understands me.
I don't know, I just figured
I should tell you that.

You do know "When Harry Met Sally"
- is my favorite movie, right?
- Yeah, I do know that.
Now, how can I help?
Funny you should ask.
Do you know Jay Carl,
Dick Braun's press guy?
Yeah, I know Jay Carl.
I'm feeling rough, I'm feeling raw ♪
I'm in the prime of my life ♪
VIP suite credentials?
Your name's Malcolm?
Yeah, that's correct.
Jay Carl! Jay Carl! Jay Carl!
Jay I know you can hear me.
- Jay.
- What the shit, Sadie?
A story is about to run
a very damaging story.
And the entire world is going to ask
why Mr. Braun didn't comment,
and he's gonna say to you,
"Why couldn't you spin this for me?"
And you'll say, "Oh, well, I could have,
but, you know, I was a pussy."
My, we are a hotshot, aren't we?
Yeah, we are.
Wait here.
Yes, I'm heading there now, Mr. Beamer.
I'll meet you at the press check-in.
Right, the social media tent.
Right. That sounds good.
Maybe we should get an Uber instead.
- Hey.
God damn this.
God damn this fucking day.
What are you talking about?
You crushed it last night.
You're a viral sensation.
A viral sensation on
the verge of divorce.
And work won't love you back, right?
So where does that leave me?
What happened?
I don't know what happened.
I don't all I know
is that you were right.
Everything that you
told me back in Vegas
everything you've been saying
all along, you were right.
We can't have it all. That's what it is.
Okay, listen to me.
There is no such thing
as work-life balance.
It's all an ebb and flow.
Some days the work is good
and the home life is shit.
Other days, it's the other way around.
What's fucking beautiful
is that you have two things
you care about that much.
You have a husband who
loves you and you love him.
You two are gonna figure this out.
We're all just gonna
figure it out, you know?
Now, Lola told me about Johnny Beamer.
Does this mean you're
starting your own media empire?
- That's huge.
- I don't know.
I don't know what it means.
Beamer says that I need more
than one viral moment, so
Well, what about a scoop
that could take down America's Mayor?

What do you say to allegations
that you commissioned
opposition research
on Felicity Walker in an effort
to get Mayor Garrett elected?
[SNIFFS LOUDLY] You still think anything
you write in your paper matters?
But I think the truth matters.
I hate to break it to you, "Sentinel,"
but the truth left the
building a long time ago.
Okay, this is not Russia, Mr. Braun,
and you're not some fucking oligarch
who can buy our democracy.
You know, you your
fantasy about democracy,
it doesn't exist anymore.
You know, people vote out of fear,
misinformation, selfishness.
Our political system is a joke.
No one is in charge.
It is a circus that never packs up.
And who better to step
in and fill the void
than the people in this room
CEOs, titans of industry, entrepreneurs?
Huh? Who else? Them,
the unwashed masses?
They'd elect a cantaloupe
for a trip to Disney
and a blooming onion
grease bomb at Outback.
Democracy is not your plaything.
Ho-hoo! Whoo!
Everybody, can I have
your attention, please?
Your attention, please, everyone!
Attention, please.
I'd like to introduce you to Sadie.
Excuse me.
She thinks our democracy
cannot be bought
And that our future should rest
on the morbidly obese shoulders
of everyday fucking Americans!
How are we gonna break it to her
that our democracy is dead?
It's fucking dead!
Can you hear me in the cheap seats?
- It's dead!
D-E-A-D, dead!
Peanuts? EpiPen! [GASPS]
- Fuck you!
- Oh, shit!

Some folks are born
made to wave the flag ♪
Ooh, they're red, white, and blue ♪
And when the band plays
"Hail to the Chief" ♪
Ooh, they point the
cannon at you, Lord ♪
It ain't me, it ain't me ♪
Please welcome to the
stage Hayden Wells Garrett!
It ain't me, it ain't me ♪
I ain't no fortunate one, no ♪
Some folks are born
silver spoon in hand ♪
Lord, don't they help themselves, no ♪
[LAUGHS] Thank you.
Thank you.
To the chairman and my great friends
in the Wisconsin delegation,
and to all my fellow Americans
on both sides of the political aisle,
it is with deep humility
and profound gratitude
I accept your nomination
for the Presidency of the United States.
May God bless you,
and may God bless the
United States of America!
Some folks inherit
star-spangled eyes ♪
Ooh, they send you down to war, Lord ♪
And when you ask 'em ♪
How did we get it so wrong?
Why did we give him a pass?
Were we blinded by youth?
As I watched him on stage, it hit me.
We had become unwitting
agents of the patriarchy,
and it would take all of us to stop him.

We have a warrant to search
for the classified materials.
Right now, agents are
ransacking your apartment,
your hotel room, your mom's house,
your boyfriend's apartment.
Is he really my boyfriend?
We will find them.
Go ahead.
I don't have them.

Can I go now?
The boys on the bus would
have knifed each other
to get the story.
We were supposed to be rivals,
nemeses, vicious competitors.
Instead, we became a family,
bonded together to save our
democracy or go down trying.
You can stand me up
at the gates of hell ♪
But I won't back down ♪
No, I'll stand my ground ♪
Won't be turned around ♪
And I'll keep this world
from dragging me down ♪
Gonna stand my ground ♪
And I won't back down ♪
Hey, baby ♪
There ain't no easy way out ♪
Hey, I ♪
Will stand my ground ♪
And I won't back down ♪
No, I won't back down ♪
Greg, move your head.
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