The Good Guys s01e16 Episode Script
Silence of the Dan
Did you just dip a donut in guacamole? Your eyes do not lie.
"Guacomonut.
" Frank invented it when we were first partners.
It's probably not the best thing for my indigestion.
No, probably not.
Why are you still eating it? It's The best cure in the world for a hangover.
See, the dough fills you up, the cinnamon gives you a righteous kick-start.
And the guacamole? It acts as a kind of a grout to prevent the expulsion of any, uh, you know, ancillary fluids.
You want a bite? No, thanks.
Besides, we've got a case.
97, 98, 199 Hodges, what is going on? The rook here just set the new department push-up record.
Check out these guns, huh? Hey, Hodges, you want to caress the biceps of a tawny rookie, why don't you do it in private, okay? Now, I hold the department push-up record since 1989.
Not anymore.
Well, now Hold on.
Oh, no.
It's go time.
One.
Ohh.
Two.
Are you sure you should be letting him do this? Because, you know, after 40, muscle tone decreases precipitously.
See? Look at the blood vessels near his skin are kind of straining.
They have this interesting consistency, sort of like an old plastic bag.
Hey, uh, that's fascinating.
Come on, partner.
All right? We got a case, all right? And you can reclaim your throne when we get back.
You're lucky I got a punk to bust.
I'm just getting warmed up.
Come on.
All right.
Are you sure you're okay? Yeah, I'm good.
I still can't believe it.
Someone was in my home.
It's like a furnace in here.
I feel like I grew me a coat of fur.
Are you sure you're feeling all right? Yeah, I'm good.
Broke through the door.
You don't have a security system, Mr.
Morris? I didn't think I needed one in this neighborhood.
And, well, it's doctor Morris.
I-I'm sorry.
It's just that I did go to eight years of medical school.
My apologies.
Dr.
Morris it is.
Thank you.
What other items were stolen from the house? Uh, well, the tv, stereo, uh, jewelry from the bedroom, and, worst of all, the muirragui.
It was an original.
A painting, Detective.
It was worth a small fortune.
I have a photo of it.
Oh, wow.
Look at that.
That's a Well, t-t-that's a double rainbow, right? It's what you want it to be.
That's the genius of muirragui.
Huh! It's a terrible loss.
Well, Dr.
Morris, my partner and I promise you that we will do everything we can to get the, uh, "miyagi" Muirragui.
Muirragui? We'll get this muirragui back on your wall.
Dan, do you mind doing a little Dan? Dan, are you all right? Jacko, why's your face all stretchy? What?! Dr.
Morris: Detective Stark? Dan? Dan, can you hear me? Da Dan?! Hmm.
Uh, doc, you recall seeing any suspicious characters in the neighborhood? Whoa, whoa, Dan.
I-I think he should go to the hospital.
No, come on.
B-because I passed out? It was nothing.
No, it's not nothing.
Come on, Jack.
I pass out all the time.
It's healthy.
It's natural.
Focuses the mind.
Shakes my etch a sketch.
Your partner's right.
It's not healthy or natural.
No offense, doc, but the only time a man should go to a hospital is when he's been shot, and I'm not talking about the leg or the shoulder or something you can fix with duct tape.
I'm just I'm tired.
Why don't we go over to my office? I-I can run the tests there.
You hear that, Dan? No hospital.
I'm worried, Dan.
I am, too.
Maybe you should take it easy for a while.
I take it easy, crime gets off easy.
Is that what you want? More murderers murderin', more druggers druggin', more flashers flashin'.
Okay, what did this doctor say when he examined you? Uh, you know.
He's concerned that Dan may have suffered some heart trauma.
Ohh.
I'm fine.
It's indigestion.
He's not gonna know until the test results come back.
And how long is that gonna be? A day or two.
This is how it's gonna go Until those test results come back and you are cleared medically, you're restricted to desk duty.
Oh, come on, you can't tie me to a desk while some lab jockey stares at my vital fluids! I'll die.
Nobody wants you to die, Dan.
That's why I'm doing this.
Come on, partner.
Back me up here.
You know, I got to be where the action is or I want to, Dan.
I really do, all right? But you heard what the doctor said.
Look, besides, t-this is a simple burglary, all right? There's not gonna be any action to miss.
Where's my money?! I don't have What part of "finder's fee" don't you understand, doc? I'm sorry, rondo.
I thought You thought what? I would pay the fee once you did the finding.
Wrong! I don't find until you fee.
Right.
Are you sure that you can sell the muirragui? What kind of fence do you think I am, doc? I'm rondo green.
I can sell anything.
And I'll start working on selling that painting when I get my $20,000.
$20,000? You said $10,000.
Interest.
Please! I will pay you your money.
I'm just having some cash-flow issues right now.
My ex killed me in the divorce.
Whoa, time-out I thought the idea here was you was getting insurance for the painting.
I am, but I-it takes time to collect! You know, the police They got to file the report.
Ohh! And I don't care, doc! Tomorrow.
Or else.
So, this painting It's a sharktopus, right? Everything okay, baby? It's not okay.
Rondo wants 20 grand now, "or else," he says.
I'm sure it's just tough talk.
You don't know this guy, Angie.
He likes to beat me up.
And I don't think he knows anything about art.
Who cares? As long as he knows how to sell it.
You need to relax, baby.
I'm starting to have second thoughts about this.
You worry too much, okay? You'll think of something, Mr.
smarty-pants.
"Doctor.
" Doctor.
All you have to do Is believe in the power of love, Hmm? Oh.
Oh.
I can't bust any punks when I'm sitting behind a desk! What? Dan, calm down.
Man, how am I supposed to calm down? You want me to sit there rotting in my chair when we're on a losing streak.
Come on, now.
A losing streak? What are you talking about? The yard-sale thing! We never busted that punk! You mean the punk who stole the vacuum cleaner and two boxes full of paperbacks? Oh, Dan.
That's not a losing streak.
All right? The owner didn't even care, okay? It just doesn't matter.
It matters to me, okay? I'm hitting the streets.
What? No.
Dan, your heart.
You have got to start worrying about your health.
Don't worry about my ticker.
My ticker's fine.
And even if there was something wrong with it, the best thing for it would be for me to bust some punks instead of sitting here behind a de Dan? Dan? Yeah, I'm just I'm just gonna I'm just gonna sit here behind the desk.
- Oh my God.
- Hey.
What do we got here? The boys set up a pool.
"The Dan Stark death pool"? Yeah.
Who did this?! This isn't funny, guys! It's all right.
It's all right.
It's all right.
It's all right.
Jack, I-I'm no longer in denial.
I'm embracing the inevitable.
You know, I was lying in the sack last night, and I'm thinking so many thoughts.
I made a list of Everything I want to do before I die.
"Dan Stark bucket list.
" Well, this will be interesting.
"Sleep with Olivia newton-john.
" Yeah, I hear she's got a new hip.
"Number two Bed down Heather Locklear and/or Heather Thomas.
" I'll take the heathers any way I can get them.
"Number three, bust one more punk.
" And that's the most important one.
Okay, Dan You are not going to die.
We all are.
Now, I always figured that I'd go out in a blaze of glory.
I pictured it, even.
But if If I got to be here behind this desk, so be it.
As long as I can bust me one more punk.
You got to promise me this, Jack.
- One more.
- Bailey.
Jack.
As long as Dan is stuck behind a desk, you are gonna need a partner when you go out.
Oh, uh, no.
Lieutenant, I-I'll be fine.
Well, sorry.
It's department rules.
I don't like it any more than you do, Bailey.
What, you mean him?! You got to be kidding me! He has a partner.
Where's lang? Lang's on vacation.
But don't worry.
We got his bets on the death pool before he left.
Shut up, Hodges.
All right, girls.
Enough.
That's an order.
It's all right, Jack.
It's all right.
Here.
No, no.
I can't take the trans am.
Pony's got to gallop.
Easy, Bailey! At least let me get my seat belt on in this death trap.
Where are we going, anyway? To go talk to an informant, all right? Now shut up and hold on.
Angie, I'm trying to come up with $20,000.
Rondo threatened to kill me.
Why are you shopping?! Why are you yelling at me? I just put a couple things on your credit card.
A few things?! You maxed it out! I bought some lingerie.
I was thinking about modeling it for you, you know, to inspire you, to help you with all this stress.
You're just not attracted to me anymore.
Is that it? I'm not worth spending any money on.
Oh, come on.
I didn't say that, honey.
It's it's it's You don't know this rondo guy.
He He's a psychopath.
I'll figure something out.
I know you will.
I love you.
Hello? Myoglobin's okay.
Cholesterol a bit high.
Blood type a.
B.
-Negative? Eve, will you schedule an appointment with Bronson Jones, please? Bronson Jones? He's not dead yet? No, he's not dead.
But he's rich.
Very, very rich.
Oh.
And I was having a good day.
Julius.
It's nice to see you, too.
Listen, I need your help with something.
Yeah, you always do.
Uh, where is the moustache? Oh, uh, well, Dan is not feeling too good, so he's, uh, taking a little time off.
Uh, you know Detective Hodges.
Know him? I busted him.
Oh, wow.
Really? Okay, look.
That was a big misunderstanding.
I'm a valuable police resource now.
Please.
This guy's a felon.
You're fraternizing with the enemy.
Julius is not the enemy.
Come on.
Give us a minute here, all right? Go get yourself a soda.
You got cran-apple? No, okay? I don't have cran-apple.
Really? Sorry.
What's up, man? What do you need? You know anything about art? Oh.
Okay, right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay, it's a It's a naked girl on the beach.
It's a muirragui, all right? It's a very valuable piece of art.
And it was stolen from a doctor's house a few days ago.
So? Do you know anyone who deals with art? Nah.
I don't know any no.
Julius? What? Why are you looking at me like that? Listen, in my entire career As a-a purveyor of fine goods, nobody ever tried to sell me a painting.
Really? You know what, though? There was this one dude, tried to sell me a stuffed dog in a fish tank.
And he called that art.
Man, I told him he was crazy.
"Get that out of my apartment.
" Yeah, crazy.
Uh, will you ask around for me? You know what? I'll make a deal with you.
You get Detective Hodges out of here, I will make some calls for you.
Done deal.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Tell Dan I said feel better.
I will.
All right.
It's so simple.
All you need to do is open two windows.
Go ahead.
Come on.
You can try it.
Oh, man.
All right.
Yeah, yeah.
Just type that in.
Mm-hmm.
Letter by letter.
Yeah.
This is gonna take a while.
No, no, no.
You're doing really good.
Oh, uh, I almost forgot.
I downloaded this new ringtone on your phone so now that if anyone calls you, it's gonna Foghat?! Yeah.
Foghat on my On my phone? Mm-hmm.
You put that there? Yeah.
That's one of the sweetest things anybody's ever done for me.
Thank you, darling.
You know what I'm gonna do for you? I'm gonna give you this "Savage and Stark, " a very important tv movie about me and the way I work and the way I approach the job.
Anything you want to know about being a cop, it's in here.
I'm gonna sign it for you.
Thanks! Wow! All right.
Hey, lunchtime.
All right.
Hey.
What? I brought you some lunch.
We've got a high-protein tofu salad with low-fat dressing.
It looks like what's under a lawn mower.
And a delicious veggie sandwich.
A sandwich without meat isn't a sandwich.
It's just lonely bread.
Yeah, well, I'm trying to save your life, okay? You got to start taking better care of yourself.
That's an order.
I can't believe how messy this place is.
Oh, stop being such a wuss, all right? This place is great.
Dan and I come here every Tuesday.
It's getting all over me.
I ever tell you about the time Dan and I busted up the burger bandit? No.
Back in march, right, there's this place called, uh, buffalo bill's.
It's got a hell of a burger.
It's one of Dan's favorite spots.
Anyways, this place kept getting robbed by the same guy every week.
He'd show up mask, gun Take the cash.
Same guy, same place, every week.
Dan starts thinking, "how come he never takes any of the food?" You know? I mean, they've got one hell of a burger.
So then Dan's got this hunch, "maybe it's someone who works there, "someone who works there "who's tired of the food, hates the food, wouldn't want to take it with them.
" We did a little investigating.
And, sure enough, it was the fry cook.
Crazy, huh? What's your point? There's no point, Hodges.
It's just, you know, classic Dan.
You know, he's got this hunch that it's, you know, some inside job, that it's Hold on.
Someone breaks into the doctor's house, okay? He takes a tv, a stereo, and jewelry from his ex-wife.
That's got to add up to your average Homeowner's theft-insurance deductible, right? Except the painting.
Yeah, except the painting.
Exactly.
All of this stuff you could sell on the street easy, but not a painting.
Why would the robber take that painting? It's a muirragui original! This is the most valuable thing in the house.
Yeah, but just this one? What about the one that you have hanging in the bathroom? The one with the birds on the beach? That's from a department store.
Looks like A waste of money.
What are you getting at, Bailey? Julius said in all of his time as a fence, not once has anyone ever tried to sell him a painting.
I got a hunch that this is an insurance scam.
We're talking about a doctor here, a man of science Not a criminal.
This is just a burglary, Bailey.
Now, why don't you go hunch us up some more wet-naps? Stark.
Hey, Dan.
It's Jack.
Listen.
I-I need you to do me a favor.
Now, it's not exactly going out on the street and busting a punk, but I'm in.
Hey, Liz.
Dan.
I was not aware I had an appointment with you.
Hey.
Or you.
Hi, there.
I thought I told you to wait outside.
I'm supposed to be watching you.
You want me to tell Hodges that you're really, really attracted to him? Fine.
All right.
Just please don't die in here because I will get in so much trouble.
All right, bye.
Hi, Dan.
What can I do for you today? I'm hearing you're feeling sick.
Tell me about it.
Well, I've been better.
Listen.
Jacko's onto a scam.
What kind of scam? Well, it involves a stolen painting, okay? Now, he wants you to get a warrant or a "supoenie" or or whatever you call it so he can check out the owner's insurance company.
He's got a hunch.
No.
Dan.
I've told you 100 times.
I cannot issue you a warrant based on a hunch.
I don't have time for your rules and procedures and whatnot! I'm dying here, you understand that? And there's two things I need before I go.
I need to bust me one more punk, and I need to know what's going on between you and jacko.
Okay.
Well, jacko and I are dating.
And we are taking it slow.
Slow? He can't take it slow.
Life's too short.
Take it from me.
You could die any moment.
Dan, guess what.
I don't feel the need to discuss my personal life with you.
Not only that, I don't even know if I want to be in a relationship with Jack in the first place.
Okay.
Liz.
Listen to me.
You're a beautiful woman.
And you are smart.
Hell, you can even make a pantsuit sexy.
But you will never find Any man better than Jack Bailey.
No woman could.
And I need to know that you two slept together once more before I die.
Okay, Dan.
I will work on that for you.
The case.
And I want you to have fun.
Fun? Okay, thanks, Dan.
All right.
Dan? Yeah? You're not gonna die.
You're going to die very soon, unless we do something about it.
Do you remember when we were talking about you needing a new kidney and I said that, because of your age, your refusal to quit drinking and smoking, and, most importantly, your very rare blood type, that it was going to be impossible for you to get one? And then you said Sorry, maybe it was in jest You said that you would pay anything for one.
Good.
That's good.
So Tell me, what exactly did you mean by "anything"? What do you think Mr.
Jones meant? Well, let's try this.
I have a number written on a piece of paper.
Mr.
Jones is prepared to offer you $500,000.
Excellent.
Because I found you a match.
Well, well, well, Mr.
Stark.
How you feeling? You know if you croak on a toilet, I win 200 bucks? That's funny, Elton.
How about I shoot you first, and everybody wins? Liz is is gonna help out on that insurance thing.
Good.
Did you ask the doc about it? Oh, I wanted to But someone doesn't believe in hunches.
Hey, just show me some evidence.
Wait.
Here.
- Julius.
- You know what? Y'all really should just think about deputizing me.
Okay, what are you talking about? Some of my friends, they work in the art world.
They told me that somebody is actually trying to move a painting right now.
It's a dude by the name of rondo green.
I know this guy.
Cheers.
Rondo green.
He took over a lot of my business when I switched career paths.
Listen, he's not really a top-shelf business talent, though.
You know, he doesn't understand the The economics of black-market retail, okay? That's just one man's opinion.
Isn't that good? Isn't that tasty? All right, listen, Jack.
This is where you say, "thank you, Julius.
" Thank you very much.
I owe you one.
Rondo green.
Arrested five times for trafficking stolen goods.
Primary residence is So it was just a simple burglary.
It looks like your hunch was wrong, Bailey.
Oh, God, shut up, Hodges.
Let's go.
Let's roll.
Where you think you're going? - Bust some punks.
- Hey! Stark! Where you going? I told you not to leave the station.
And you I'm disappointed in you.
Come on, now.
Don't get mad at her.
I'm fine.
It's nothing.
I told you.
I got pills.
It's just indigestion.
It is not indigestion, Dan! And this is not a joke! We're all worried sick about you, you dumbass! Shut up, Hodges.
Shut up, Hodges.
All right, jacko, you got to tell me every detail of what happens, all right? If he resists, I want to know the move you used to take him down.
I want to know what he smelled like when you slapped the cuffs on him.
You got it, partner.
You sure I'm not already dead? 'Cause this sure does feel like hell.
He lives on the second floor.
Why don't you go around back? Make sure there aren't any other exits? Shouldn't we call for backup? To question a burglary suspect? Come on.
Who is it? Mr.
green, this is Detective Jack Bailey with the Dallas police department.
I'd like to ask you a few questions.
Mr.
green? Are you there? Freeze! Get off me! Shut up! Toy cop! You just got hodged! It's okay, Bailey.
I got him.
Wow.
You're not so tough now, are you, punk? Wow, Hodges.
I didn't know you had it in you.
Well, you mess with the bull, you get the horns.
Whoa! Ugh! Damn it! Fr Get out! Freeze! I took it for granted, jacko.
Busting punks.
I thought it was never gonna end.
Now all I want to do is burn rubber, kick in a door, feel the wind in my 'stache as I chase down One more punk.
But it's never gonna happen.
I mean, let's face it.
I've been replaced by Hodges.
I was like, "bow! " And then I was like, "ba-tow!" And I was like, "hey, where you going?! " And I went, "ba-shaw!" Around, and I got him down, and I said, "hey, you just got hodged.
" It was that easy.
No one is getting replaced by Hodges.
Okay, look, let me get the muirragui into the evidence room, log it, then you and I can go out and grab some food.
What do you say? No.
You got to see Liz tonight.
I had a little tete-Ã -tete with her earlier.
Life's too short to go slow, Jack.
And as far as the muirragui Death.
That's all I see.
Dr.
Morris: You were arrested?! What did you tell the police?! Nothing.
But that's gonna change if you don't bail me out pronto.
Okay, okay, uh, I will bail you out, a-a-and w-w-we'll figure our way out of this.
I just got to take care of something first.
All right, you do that, doc.
But remember.
The longer it takes The more I'm thinking about talking.
Paging Dr.
Morris.
Are you ready to get to work? I believe it's time for us to make a half a million dollars.
Yeah, let's do this.
Oh.
I'm cutting you off.
That's it.
Hey! Detective Dan Stark! How you doing? My brother! I'm sorry.
I know.
You don't like it when I call you that.
You know what? It's okay.
It's all good.
What can I get you to drink, my brother? Something strong and sweet that you keep on pourin'.
You want a smoothie? Smoothie? Mm-hmm.
A smoothie.
It's fruity.
Damn it to hell! Who got to you?! It was ruiz.
Ohh.
Look, Dan, she said that she would shut me down if I served you.
Can't a man go out on his own terms? All I want to do is drink myself to death, have Frank speak at the memorial service.
Jack could talk, too, if he doesn't get too emotional.
You don't want me to get shut Hey.
Hey.
I'm sorry.
I don't normally do stuff like this.
But, uh I kind of have a thing for guys with moustaches.
I get that.
Mm-hmm.
Do you want to get out of here? I do.
Desperately.
Apparently the rumors of my demise are premature.
I'll catch you later.
Mm.
Jack.
Jack, we were gonna take it slow, remember? I know.
I know.
I had an interesting visit from Dan Stark today.
Oh.
Uh, yeah.
You know, that case ended up going in a different direction, so Wait.
What do you mean, "interesting"? Well, Dan told me that I could never possibly do better than youEver.
Really? Yeah.
For an "I told you so, " it was kind of sweet.
I'm worried about him.
He's one of the best cops I've ever seen, and he is a good friend.
But the thought of Jack, listen Dan Stark may be lewd and crude, and he might put you into all sorts of situations that I could definitely kill him for, but he also has the heart of a lion.
Even I know that.
Maybe you should tell him how you feel, just in case.
Slow.
I can't kiss you any slower than I already am.
That moustache.
I know.
I just love it.
Of course you do.
Can I touch it? Oh, yeah.
Yeah? You can touch it, you can stroke it, you can put a leash on it and take it for a walk.
Mm.
Then close your eyes.
Close my eyes? Mm-hmm.
Keep them closed.
Oh, come on.
Mm-hmm.
I love a surprise.
Mm.
Yes.
Mm-hmm.
Whoa.
Chloroform? Uh, you don't need that.
I would have gone home with you Willingly.
Have you seen Dan? He hasn't came in yet.
He's not answering his phone.
Well, you think he took a day off? Seriously? All right.
I'll send a couple of unis over to check on him.
I'm sure he's just working the case alone.
Yeah.
Bailey.
I'm sure he's fine.
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm just gonna try him one more time.
Dan, it's Jack.
Listen.
If you're around and you somehow find a way to hear this Call me.
Look, I know that you're worried.
I know that you're depressed.
But you're gonna have to just trust me.
Everything is gonna be fine.
And your car yeah.
I-I-I keep trying to not grind the gears.
It's just just give me a call, buddy, okay? I, uh I love you, man.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Where's Dan? Uh, I was just wondering that same thing.
But I'm sure he's fine.
What's up? Hey, that, uh, stolen-painting case.
You said that was closed already, right? Uh, yeah.
It was a standard burglary.
We caught the guy.
Why? I did a little bit of extra digging, and I found out that that painting was insured for $150,000 Not once, not twice, but three times.
Now, that's not totally illegal, but it's still highly Highly suspicious .
Suspicious, yeah.
Hodges! The muirragui painting Dr.
Morris, your man of science, he insured it three times.
So? So? Don't you think that's a little suspicious? I want to talk to rondo.
Bailey, rondo made bail.
He did? Look, all you got to do is refuse to press charges, and everything's gonna be cool.
No! It's not gonna be cool.
The police are gonna figure everything out.
I-I might as well just turn myself in.
They don't have any evidence we was working together, doc.
So just relax.
Everything's all good here.
Now, about my finder's fee I'm sorry.
You still want your finder's fee? I'm sorry.
You got a problem with that? The police have the painting.
Y-you never even found a buyer! And you agreed to pay me up front! And do you know how hard it is to move a painting? Because I didn't.
You did not do what I hired you to do! And I want another 20 for emotional distress.
Emotional distress? I got beat up by a cop, man! Do you have any idea what that feels like? No.
All right, I'll show you.
Ohh! Now, look, you gonna pay me my money, or I'm gonna show you again.
I used it to bail you out! I don't care, man! Pay me, man! Pay me! Pay me my money! I don't have it! Rondo? Rondo green.
I want you to find him and bring him in for questioning.
Oh, uh, hey, uh Samantha, listen.
Uh, I got to ask you for a special favor.
What do you need? Okay, um, do you remember that that thing that you hooked up to the phone lines that automatically traced all the outgoing calls of the department? Yeah, you yelled at me and told me that it was invasion of privacy and that I should unhook it immediately.
Yeah.
Uh, I need you to hook it up again.
Why? Rondo green.
I need to find out who he called from the interrogation room.
I can do that.
Mm.
Mm.
It's a shame we have to cut you open.
Hey, what happened? Help me out! I hit him! It was an accident! Oh, my God, Angie! What am I gonna do?! Calm down.
Try not to panic, please.
"Try not to panic"?! Look, you don't know this guy, okay?! Are you sure this painting is worth what he says it is? Yeah.
It's a muirragui original.
Ugh, he's such a loser.
Trust me, if I had known that his wife was gonna take everything, I would have never broken up their marriage.
So things didn't work out the way we planned.
We improvise.
We still gonna get paid, and then we gonna jet.
You feel me? I feel you, baby.
Oh, my God! He's waking up! Angie! What are you doing?! Herman, I am knocking him out so that you can kill him with something.
I'm not gonna kill him! Why not? You're gonna kill the cop, aren't you? No.
I'm just gonna take one of his kidneys and sew him back up That's all.
Tomorrow he's gonna wake up in a bathtub full of ice and have absolutely no idea what happened to him.
And rondo? I don't know! Okay?! Damn it! Damn it! Look at me, Herman.
Come on.
Now, you can either embrace this, or You can lose everything that's good And hot.
Do you understand? Yeah.
Alright, thank you officers.
Keep looking.
You ready to take this back, Bailey? It looks like some sort of elephant man or something.
The unis are having a hard time tracking down rondo green.
Bailey, the case is closed! Yeah, well, not for me, it isn't.
Stay here.
Maybe it's more like a lady minotaur or something.
Riding a panther.
You got anything good? Rondo called Drumroll, please Dr.
Herman Morris at his office address.
Uh, they talked close to seven minutes.
I knew it.
High five.
High five.
I got to talk to the lieutenant.
Good job.
Still no word from Dan? Could probably take his other kidney, too, and his liver.
And rondo, Hmm? You want to start a business now? Yes, that's a great idea.
Just think of all the rich people out there with cancer and And t-tumors.
We could sell hearts! I wasn't being serious! People would pay so much money for hearts! Oh! Where did he go?! He just walked away! You said he was gonna be out until tomorrow! I gave him enough to put out an elephant! Obviously Do something! He went upstairs! Help me.
Somebody.
Dr.
Jack! There's a dungeon! Call 911! You must be the donor.
What? Sorry.
Can't help you.
Oh.
Oh.
So you think this Dr.
Morris was trying to commit insurance fraud? He paid rondo to try to sell his painting on top of it.
He would have gotten away with it if we hadn't busted rondo first.
Do you have any evidence? It's circumstantial, but I can get him to break.
I'm more concerned about where Dan is, how his heart's doing.
Bailey.
Do me a favor and grow a pair, please.
Excuse me? Wherever Dan is, he would want you to continue working on this case.
And for the record, his heart is fine.
The results of his medical tests are in.
W I-I don't get it.
I-if it's not his heart, what's wrong with him? Remember these? You sure this guy has a healthy kidney? It's healthy enough.
Now, if your boss needed a new liver, that would be a different story.
How about a heart, Hmm? Your boss need one of those? I'm not cutting out anyone's heart! I really am sorry, but the good news is, we're giving your kidney to an incredibly rich man, which means he pays a fortune in taxes, taxes that are used to build schools and parks and hospitals.
And as long as he's alive, he's gonna continue to pay those taxes, which means that That more schools are gonna get built and more kids are gonna get a good education, so if you look at it that way, really, the positives outweigh the negatives here.
All right, let's operate.
Are you expecting someone? Not that I know of.
Take care of it.
Or I will.
Dr.
Morris.
How are you? I believe this belongs to you.
Oh, my goodness.
My muirragui.
I never thought I was gonna see this again.
Well, it's your tax dollars hard at work.
Well, thank you.
Just doing my job.
Before you go, I'd like to ask you a couple more questions.
Okay.
Have you ever heard of a man by the name of rondo green? UhNo.
Why? Oh, he's just the guy who stole your stuff.
You know, w-we still haven't found your tv or stereo, by the way.
Oh, yeah.
I was just I was gonna ask you about that.
You're sure you don't know a rondo green? No.
Definitely not.
I do not know a rondo green.
Well, then, why did you bail him out? I don't know what you're talking about.
You can call my lawyer if you have any more questions.
Come on, Dan.
Answer the phone.
That's my partner's phone.
Dan?! Dan? This is the Dallas p.
D.
! Drop your weapon! All right, freeze! Trying to kill me?! Dr.
Morris?! Dan?! What the hell is going on? Dan? You, uh They're getting away! Jack! Jack, leave! I'm not leaving you.
Leave, Jack.
You can have the trans am.
No.
I'm dying.
You are not dying, okay? I'm not? No.
You recognize these? Those are my indigestion pills.
Yeah.
You're just having a toxic reaction, all right? These expired 20 years ago, Dan! Ohh.
The fda's banned them.
I have felt better since I stopped taking them.
Yeah? Well, if I'm okay What the hell we waiting for? I don't believe this.
Come on! Come on! This is taking forever! The important thing is that we still have each other.
Just go! Go, go, go, go! Come on! Aah! Want a bite? Mmm.
God, no.
I'm sure glad you're feeling better.
Well, thanks, l.
T.
'Cause you are absolutely useless behind a desk.
Yeah.
How about you, gorgeous? Were you getting all misty just thinking of losing me? Oh, I did.
I ran out of kleenexes.
Whoa.
Hey, now.
Save it for jacko.
And, you, sweetness.
Hmm.
Thank you so much.
And, once again, foghat saved my life.
How do I check, uh, messages on this thing? Oh, it's it's easy.
You just hit that button.
Uh-huh.
Hey.
Yeah.
From you.
Oh, uh, I was just calling to see where you were.
Don't I mean, don't worry about it.
Y-you can just delete it.
Do you know how to do that? The "l" word.
Partner, you [ beep .]
You know we're in Texas, right? Can get in trouble for that.
Come here.
Bring it home.
Give it to me.
I love you, too, partner.
Rook! Come over here.
Get down.
On the floor.
Show me what you got.
I got an announcement to make! Yeah? I'm officially passing the Baton to the new Dallas police department push-up champion! Everybody give the rookie a hand! All right! Drinks on me at Julius'! How's that sound? Okay.
Yeah? Yeah well, I mean, the alcohol and the, uh, music might make it a little hard to True.
It might be tough to take it slow.
But then again, we could die tomorrow, so we should probably take it fast.
I'm sorry.
You're not invited.
Thank you.
"Guacomonut.
" Frank invented it when we were first partners.
It's probably not the best thing for my indigestion.
No, probably not.
Why are you still eating it? It's The best cure in the world for a hangover.
See, the dough fills you up, the cinnamon gives you a righteous kick-start.
And the guacamole? It acts as a kind of a grout to prevent the expulsion of any, uh, you know, ancillary fluids.
You want a bite? No, thanks.
Besides, we've got a case.
97, 98, 199 Hodges, what is going on? The rook here just set the new department push-up record.
Check out these guns, huh? Hey, Hodges, you want to caress the biceps of a tawny rookie, why don't you do it in private, okay? Now, I hold the department push-up record since 1989.
Not anymore.
Well, now Hold on.
Oh, no.
It's go time.
One.
Ohh.
Two.
Are you sure you should be letting him do this? Because, you know, after 40, muscle tone decreases precipitously.
See? Look at the blood vessels near his skin are kind of straining.
They have this interesting consistency, sort of like an old plastic bag.
Hey, uh, that's fascinating.
Come on, partner.
All right? We got a case, all right? And you can reclaim your throne when we get back.
You're lucky I got a punk to bust.
I'm just getting warmed up.
Come on.
All right.
Are you sure you're okay? Yeah, I'm good.
I still can't believe it.
Someone was in my home.
It's like a furnace in here.
I feel like I grew me a coat of fur.
Are you sure you're feeling all right? Yeah, I'm good.
Broke through the door.
You don't have a security system, Mr.
Morris? I didn't think I needed one in this neighborhood.
And, well, it's doctor Morris.
I-I'm sorry.
It's just that I did go to eight years of medical school.
My apologies.
Dr.
Morris it is.
Thank you.
What other items were stolen from the house? Uh, well, the tv, stereo, uh, jewelry from the bedroom, and, worst of all, the muirragui.
It was an original.
A painting, Detective.
It was worth a small fortune.
I have a photo of it.
Oh, wow.
Look at that.
That's a Well, t-t-that's a double rainbow, right? It's what you want it to be.
That's the genius of muirragui.
Huh! It's a terrible loss.
Well, Dr.
Morris, my partner and I promise you that we will do everything we can to get the, uh, "miyagi" Muirragui.
Muirragui? We'll get this muirragui back on your wall.
Dan, do you mind doing a little Dan? Dan, are you all right? Jacko, why's your face all stretchy? What?! Dr.
Morris: Detective Stark? Dan? Dan, can you hear me? Da Dan?! Hmm.
Uh, doc, you recall seeing any suspicious characters in the neighborhood? Whoa, whoa, Dan.
I-I think he should go to the hospital.
No, come on.
B-because I passed out? It was nothing.
No, it's not nothing.
Come on, Jack.
I pass out all the time.
It's healthy.
It's natural.
Focuses the mind.
Shakes my etch a sketch.
Your partner's right.
It's not healthy or natural.
No offense, doc, but the only time a man should go to a hospital is when he's been shot, and I'm not talking about the leg or the shoulder or something you can fix with duct tape.
I'm just I'm tired.
Why don't we go over to my office? I-I can run the tests there.
You hear that, Dan? No hospital.
I'm worried, Dan.
I am, too.
Maybe you should take it easy for a while.
I take it easy, crime gets off easy.
Is that what you want? More murderers murderin', more druggers druggin', more flashers flashin'.
Okay, what did this doctor say when he examined you? Uh, you know.
He's concerned that Dan may have suffered some heart trauma.
Ohh.
I'm fine.
It's indigestion.
He's not gonna know until the test results come back.
And how long is that gonna be? A day or two.
This is how it's gonna go Until those test results come back and you are cleared medically, you're restricted to desk duty.
Oh, come on, you can't tie me to a desk while some lab jockey stares at my vital fluids! I'll die.
Nobody wants you to die, Dan.
That's why I'm doing this.
Come on, partner.
Back me up here.
You know, I got to be where the action is or I want to, Dan.
I really do, all right? But you heard what the doctor said.
Look, besides, t-this is a simple burglary, all right? There's not gonna be any action to miss.
Where's my money?! I don't have What part of "finder's fee" don't you understand, doc? I'm sorry, rondo.
I thought You thought what? I would pay the fee once you did the finding.
Wrong! I don't find until you fee.
Right.
Are you sure that you can sell the muirragui? What kind of fence do you think I am, doc? I'm rondo green.
I can sell anything.
And I'll start working on selling that painting when I get my $20,000.
$20,000? You said $10,000.
Interest.
Please! I will pay you your money.
I'm just having some cash-flow issues right now.
My ex killed me in the divorce.
Whoa, time-out I thought the idea here was you was getting insurance for the painting.
I am, but I-it takes time to collect! You know, the police They got to file the report.
Ohh! And I don't care, doc! Tomorrow.
Or else.
So, this painting It's a sharktopus, right? Everything okay, baby? It's not okay.
Rondo wants 20 grand now, "or else," he says.
I'm sure it's just tough talk.
You don't know this guy, Angie.
He likes to beat me up.
And I don't think he knows anything about art.
Who cares? As long as he knows how to sell it.
You need to relax, baby.
I'm starting to have second thoughts about this.
You worry too much, okay? You'll think of something, Mr.
smarty-pants.
"Doctor.
" Doctor.
All you have to do Is believe in the power of love, Hmm? Oh.
Oh.
I can't bust any punks when I'm sitting behind a desk! What? Dan, calm down.
Man, how am I supposed to calm down? You want me to sit there rotting in my chair when we're on a losing streak.
Come on, now.
A losing streak? What are you talking about? The yard-sale thing! We never busted that punk! You mean the punk who stole the vacuum cleaner and two boxes full of paperbacks? Oh, Dan.
That's not a losing streak.
All right? The owner didn't even care, okay? It just doesn't matter.
It matters to me, okay? I'm hitting the streets.
What? No.
Dan, your heart.
You have got to start worrying about your health.
Don't worry about my ticker.
My ticker's fine.
And even if there was something wrong with it, the best thing for it would be for me to bust some punks instead of sitting here behind a de Dan? Dan? Yeah, I'm just I'm just gonna I'm just gonna sit here behind the desk.
- Oh my God.
- Hey.
What do we got here? The boys set up a pool.
"The Dan Stark death pool"? Yeah.
Who did this?! This isn't funny, guys! It's all right.
It's all right.
It's all right.
It's all right.
Jack, I-I'm no longer in denial.
I'm embracing the inevitable.
You know, I was lying in the sack last night, and I'm thinking so many thoughts.
I made a list of Everything I want to do before I die.
"Dan Stark bucket list.
" Well, this will be interesting.
"Sleep with Olivia newton-john.
" Yeah, I hear she's got a new hip.
"Number two Bed down Heather Locklear and/or Heather Thomas.
" I'll take the heathers any way I can get them.
"Number three, bust one more punk.
" And that's the most important one.
Okay, Dan You are not going to die.
We all are.
Now, I always figured that I'd go out in a blaze of glory.
I pictured it, even.
But if If I got to be here behind this desk, so be it.
As long as I can bust me one more punk.
You got to promise me this, Jack.
- One more.
- Bailey.
Jack.
As long as Dan is stuck behind a desk, you are gonna need a partner when you go out.
Oh, uh, no.
Lieutenant, I-I'll be fine.
Well, sorry.
It's department rules.
I don't like it any more than you do, Bailey.
What, you mean him?! You got to be kidding me! He has a partner.
Where's lang? Lang's on vacation.
But don't worry.
We got his bets on the death pool before he left.
Shut up, Hodges.
All right, girls.
Enough.
That's an order.
It's all right, Jack.
It's all right.
Here.
No, no.
I can't take the trans am.
Pony's got to gallop.
Easy, Bailey! At least let me get my seat belt on in this death trap.
Where are we going, anyway? To go talk to an informant, all right? Now shut up and hold on.
Angie, I'm trying to come up with $20,000.
Rondo threatened to kill me.
Why are you shopping?! Why are you yelling at me? I just put a couple things on your credit card.
A few things?! You maxed it out! I bought some lingerie.
I was thinking about modeling it for you, you know, to inspire you, to help you with all this stress.
You're just not attracted to me anymore.
Is that it? I'm not worth spending any money on.
Oh, come on.
I didn't say that, honey.
It's it's it's You don't know this rondo guy.
He He's a psychopath.
I'll figure something out.
I know you will.
I love you.
Hello? Myoglobin's okay.
Cholesterol a bit high.
Blood type a.
B.
-Negative? Eve, will you schedule an appointment with Bronson Jones, please? Bronson Jones? He's not dead yet? No, he's not dead.
But he's rich.
Very, very rich.
Oh.
And I was having a good day.
Julius.
It's nice to see you, too.
Listen, I need your help with something.
Yeah, you always do.
Uh, where is the moustache? Oh, uh, well, Dan is not feeling too good, so he's, uh, taking a little time off.
Uh, you know Detective Hodges.
Know him? I busted him.
Oh, wow.
Really? Okay, look.
That was a big misunderstanding.
I'm a valuable police resource now.
Please.
This guy's a felon.
You're fraternizing with the enemy.
Julius is not the enemy.
Come on.
Give us a minute here, all right? Go get yourself a soda.
You got cran-apple? No, okay? I don't have cran-apple.
Really? Sorry.
What's up, man? What do you need? You know anything about art? Oh.
Okay, right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay, it's a It's a naked girl on the beach.
It's a muirragui, all right? It's a very valuable piece of art.
And it was stolen from a doctor's house a few days ago.
So? Do you know anyone who deals with art? Nah.
I don't know any no.
Julius? What? Why are you looking at me like that? Listen, in my entire career As a-a purveyor of fine goods, nobody ever tried to sell me a painting.
Really? You know what, though? There was this one dude, tried to sell me a stuffed dog in a fish tank.
And he called that art.
Man, I told him he was crazy.
"Get that out of my apartment.
" Yeah, crazy.
Uh, will you ask around for me? You know what? I'll make a deal with you.
You get Detective Hodges out of here, I will make some calls for you.
Done deal.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Tell Dan I said feel better.
I will.
All right.
It's so simple.
All you need to do is open two windows.
Go ahead.
Come on.
You can try it.
Oh, man.
All right.
Yeah, yeah.
Just type that in.
Mm-hmm.
Letter by letter.
Yeah.
This is gonna take a while.
No, no, no.
You're doing really good.
Oh, uh, I almost forgot.
I downloaded this new ringtone on your phone so now that if anyone calls you, it's gonna Foghat?! Yeah.
Foghat on my On my phone? Mm-hmm.
You put that there? Yeah.
That's one of the sweetest things anybody's ever done for me.
Thank you, darling.
You know what I'm gonna do for you? I'm gonna give you this "Savage and Stark, " a very important tv movie about me and the way I work and the way I approach the job.
Anything you want to know about being a cop, it's in here.
I'm gonna sign it for you.
Thanks! Wow! All right.
Hey, lunchtime.
All right.
Hey.
What? I brought you some lunch.
We've got a high-protein tofu salad with low-fat dressing.
It looks like what's under a lawn mower.
And a delicious veggie sandwich.
A sandwich without meat isn't a sandwich.
It's just lonely bread.
Yeah, well, I'm trying to save your life, okay? You got to start taking better care of yourself.
That's an order.
I can't believe how messy this place is.
Oh, stop being such a wuss, all right? This place is great.
Dan and I come here every Tuesday.
It's getting all over me.
I ever tell you about the time Dan and I busted up the burger bandit? No.
Back in march, right, there's this place called, uh, buffalo bill's.
It's got a hell of a burger.
It's one of Dan's favorite spots.
Anyways, this place kept getting robbed by the same guy every week.
He'd show up mask, gun Take the cash.
Same guy, same place, every week.
Dan starts thinking, "how come he never takes any of the food?" You know? I mean, they've got one hell of a burger.
So then Dan's got this hunch, "maybe it's someone who works there, "someone who works there "who's tired of the food, hates the food, wouldn't want to take it with them.
" We did a little investigating.
And, sure enough, it was the fry cook.
Crazy, huh? What's your point? There's no point, Hodges.
It's just, you know, classic Dan.
You know, he's got this hunch that it's, you know, some inside job, that it's Hold on.
Someone breaks into the doctor's house, okay? He takes a tv, a stereo, and jewelry from his ex-wife.
That's got to add up to your average Homeowner's theft-insurance deductible, right? Except the painting.
Yeah, except the painting.
Exactly.
All of this stuff you could sell on the street easy, but not a painting.
Why would the robber take that painting? It's a muirragui original! This is the most valuable thing in the house.
Yeah, but just this one? What about the one that you have hanging in the bathroom? The one with the birds on the beach? That's from a department store.
Looks like A waste of money.
What are you getting at, Bailey? Julius said in all of his time as a fence, not once has anyone ever tried to sell him a painting.
I got a hunch that this is an insurance scam.
We're talking about a doctor here, a man of science Not a criminal.
This is just a burglary, Bailey.
Now, why don't you go hunch us up some more wet-naps? Stark.
Hey, Dan.
It's Jack.
Listen.
I-I need you to do me a favor.
Now, it's not exactly going out on the street and busting a punk, but I'm in.
Hey, Liz.
Dan.
I was not aware I had an appointment with you.
Hey.
Or you.
Hi, there.
I thought I told you to wait outside.
I'm supposed to be watching you.
You want me to tell Hodges that you're really, really attracted to him? Fine.
All right.
Just please don't die in here because I will get in so much trouble.
All right, bye.
Hi, Dan.
What can I do for you today? I'm hearing you're feeling sick.
Tell me about it.
Well, I've been better.
Listen.
Jacko's onto a scam.
What kind of scam? Well, it involves a stolen painting, okay? Now, he wants you to get a warrant or a "supoenie" or or whatever you call it so he can check out the owner's insurance company.
He's got a hunch.
No.
Dan.
I've told you 100 times.
I cannot issue you a warrant based on a hunch.
I don't have time for your rules and procedures and whatnot! I'm dying here, you understand that? And there's two things I need before I go.
I need to bust me one more punk, and I need to know what's going on between you and jacko.
Okay.
Well, jacko and I are dating.
And we are taking it slow.
Slow? He can't take it slow.
Life's too short.
Take it from me.
You could die any moment.
Dan, guess what.
I don't feel the need to discuss my personal life with you.
Not only that, I don't even know if I want to be in a relationship with Jack in the first place.
Okay.
Liz.
Listen to me.
You're a beautiful woman.
And you are smart.
Hell, you can even make a pantsuit sexy.
But you will never find Any man better than Jack Bailey.
No woman could.
And I need to know that you two slept together once more before I die.
Okay, Dan.
I will work on that for you.
The case.
And I want you to have fun.
Fun? Okay, thanks, Dan.
All right.
Dan? Yeah? You're not gonna die.
You're going to die very soon, unless we do something about it.
Do you remember when we were talking about you needing a new kidney and I said that, because of your age, your refusal to quit drinking and smoking, and, most importantly, your very rare blood type, that it was going to be impossible for you to get one? And then you said Sorry, maybe it was in jest You said that you would pay anything for one.
Good.
That's good.
So Tell me, what exactly did you mean by "anything"? What do you think Mr.
Jones meant? Well, let's try this.
I have a number written on a piece of paper.
Mr.
Jones is prepared to offer you $500,000.
Excellent.
Because I found you a match.
Well, well, well, Mr.
Stark.
How you feeling? You know if you croak on a toilet, I win 200 bucks? That's funny, Elton.
How about I shoot you first, and everybody wins? Liz is is gonna help out on that insurance thing.
Good.
Did you ask the doc about it? Oh, I wanted to But someone doesn't believe in hunches.
Hey, just show me some evidence.
Wait.
Here.
- Julius.
- You know what? Y'all really should just think about deputizing me.
Okay, what are you talking about? Some of my friends, they work in the art world.
They told me that somebody is actually trying to move a painting right now.
It's a dude by the name of rondo green.
I know this guy.
Cheers.
Rondo green.
He took over a lot of my business when I switched career paths.
Listen, he's not really a top-shelf business talent, though.
You know, he doesn't understand the The economics of black-market retail, okay? That's just one man's opinion.
Isn't that good? Isn't that tasty? All right, listen, Jack.
This is where you say, "thank you, Julius.
" Thank you very much.
I owe you one.
Rondo green.
Arrested five times for trafficking stolen goods.
Primary residence is So it was just a simple burglary.
It looks like your hunch was wrong, Bailey.
Oh, God, shut up, Hodges.
Let's go.
Let's roll.
Where you think you're going? - Bust some punks.
- Hey! Stark! Where you going? I told you not to leave the station.
And you I'm disappointed in you.
Come on, now.
Don't get mad at her.
I'm fine.
It's nothing.
I told you.
I got pills.
It's just indigestion.
It is not indigestion, Dan! And this is not a joke! We're all worried sick about you, you dumbass! Shut up, Hodges.
Shut up, Hodges.
All right, jacko, you got to tell me every detail of what happens, all right? If he resists, I want to know the move you used to take him down.
I want to know what he smelled like when you slapped the cuffs on him.
You got it, partner.
You sure I'm not already dead? 'Cause this sure does feel like hell.
He lives on the second floor.
Why don't you go around back? Make sure there aren't any other exits? Shouldn't we call for backup? To question a burglary suspect? Come on.
Who is it? Mr.
green, this is Detective Jack Bailey with the Dallas police department.
I'd like to ask you a few questions.
Mr.
green? Are you there? Freeze! Get off me! Shut up! Toy cop! You just got hodged! It's okay, Bailey.
I got him.
Wow.
You're not so tough now, are you, punk? Wow, Hodges.
I didn't know you had it in you.
Well, you mess with the bull, you get the horns.
Whoa! Ugh! Damn it! Fr Get out! Freeze! I took it for granted, jacko.
Busting punks.
I thought it was never gonna end.
Now all I want to do is burn rubber, kick in a door, feel the wind in my 'stache as I chase down One more punk.
But it's never gonna happen.
I mean, let's face it.
I've been replaced by Hodges.
I was like, "bow! " And then I was like, "ba-tow!" And I was like, "hey, where you going?! " And I went, "ba-shaw!" Around, and I got him down, and I said, "hey, you just got hodged.
" It was that easy.
No one is getting replaced by Hodges.
Okay, look, let me get the muirragui into the evidence room, log it, then you and I can go out and grab some food.
What do you say? No.
You got to see Liz tonight.
I had a little tete-Ã -tete with her earlier.
Life's too short to go slow, Jack.
And as far as the muirragui Death.
That's all I see.
Dr.
Morris: You were arrested?! What did you tell the police?! Nothing.
But that's gonna change if you don't bail me out pronto.
Okay, okay, uh, I will bail you out, a-a-and w-w-we'll figure our way out of this.
I just got to take care of something first.
All right, you do that, doc.
But remember.
The longer it takes The more I'm thinking about talking.
Paging Dr.
Morris.
Are you ready to get to work? I believe it's time for us to make a half a million dollars.
Yeah, let's do this.
Oh.
I'm cutting you off.
That's it.
Hey! Detective Dan Stark! How you doing? My brother! I'm sorry.
I know.
You don't like it when I call you that.
You know what? It's okay.
It's all good.
What can I get you to drink, my brother? Something strong and sweet that you keep on pourin'.
You want a smoothie? Smoothie? Mm-hmm.
A smoothie.
It's fruity.
Damn it to hell! Who got to you?! It was ruiz.
Ohh.
Look, Dan, she said that she would shut me down if I served you.
Can't a man go out on his own terms? All I want to do is drink myself to death, have Frank speak at the memorial service.
Jack could talk, too, if he doesn't get too emotional.
You don't want me to get shut Hey.
Hey.
I'm sorry.
I don't normally do stuff like this.
But, uh I kind of have a thing for guys with moustaches.
I get that.
Mm-hmm.
Do you want to get out of here? I do.
Desperately.
Apparently the rumors of my demise are premature.
I'll catch you later.
Mm.
Jack.
Jack, we were gonna take it slow, remember? I know.
I know.
I had an interesting visit from Dan Stark today.
Oh.
Uh, yeah.
You know, that case ended up going in a different direction, so Wait.
What do you mean, "interesting"? Well, Dan told me that I could never possibly do better than youEver.
Really? Yeah.
For an "I told you so, " it was kind of sweet.
I'm worried about him.
He's one of the best cops I've ever seen, and he is a good friend.
But the thought of Jack, listen Dan Stark may be lewd and crude, and he might put you into all sorts of situations that I could definitely kill him for, but he also has the heart of a lion.
Even I know that.
Maybe you should tell him how you feel, just in case.
Slow.
I can't kiss you any slower than I already am.
That moustache.
I know.
I just love it.
Of course you do.
Can I touch it? Oh, yeah.
Yeah? You can touch it, you can stroke it, you can put a leash on it and take it for a walk.
Mm.
Then close your eyes.
Close my eyes? Mm-hmm.
Keep them closed.
Oh, come on.
Mm-hmm.
I love a surprise.
Mm.
Yes.
Mm-hmm.
Whoa.
Chloroform? Uh, you don't need that.
I would have gone home with you Willingly.
Have you seen Dan? He hasn't came in yet.
He's not answering his phone.
Well, you think he took a day off? Seriously? All right.
I'll send a couple of unis over to check on him.
I'm sure he's just working the case alone.
Yeah.
Bailey.
I'm sure he's fine.
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm just gonna try him one more time.
Dan, it's Jack.
Listen.
If you're around and you somehow find a way to hear this Call me.
Look, I know that you're worried.
I know that you're depressed.
But you're gonna have to just trust me.
Everything is gonna be fine.
And your car yeah.
I-I-I keep trying to not grind the gears.
It's just just give me a call, buddy, okay? I, uh I love you, man.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Where's Dan? Uh, I was just wondering that same thing.
But I'm sure he's fine.
What's up? Hey, that, uh, stolen-painting case.
You said that was closed already, right? Uh, yeah.
It was a standard burglary.
We caught the guy.
Why? I did a little bit of extra digging, and I found out that that painting was insured for $150,000 Not once, not twice, but three times.
Now, that's not totally illegal, but it's still highly Highly suspicious .
Suspicious, yeah.
Hodges! The muirragui painting Dr.
Morris, your man of science, he insured it three times.
So? So? Don't you think that's a little suspicious? I want to talk to rondo.
Bailey, rondo made bail.
He did? Look, all you got to do is refuse to press charges, and everything's gonna be cool.
No! It's not gonna be cool.
The police are gonna figure everything out.
I-I might as well just turn myself in.
They don't have any evidence we was working together, doc.
So just relax.
Everything's all good here.
Now, about my finder's fee I'm sorry.
You still want your finder's fee? I'm sorry.
You got a problem with that? The police have the painting.
Y-you never even found a buyer! And you agreed to pay me up front! And do you know how hard it is to move a painting? Because I didn't.
You did not do what I hired you to do! And I want another 20 for emotional distress.
Emotional distress? I got beat up by a cop, man! Do you have any idea what that feels like? No.
All right, I'll show you.
Ohh! Now, look, you gonna pay me my money, or I'm gonna show you again.
I used it to bail you out! I don't care, man! Pay me, man! Pay me! Pay me my money! I don't have it! Rondo? Rondo green.
I want you to find him and bring him in for questioning.
Oh, uh, hey, uh Samantha, listen.
Uh, I got to ask you for a special favor.
What do you need? Okay, um, do you remember that that thing that you hooked up to the phone lines that automatically traced all the outgoing calls of the department? Yeah, you yelled at me and told me that it was invasion of privacy and that I should unhook it immediately.
Yeah.
Uh, I need you to hook it up again.
Why? Rondo green.
I need to find out who he called from the interrogation room.
I can do that.
Mm.
Mm.
It's a shame we have to cut you open.
Hey, what happened? Help me out! I hit him! It was an accident! Oh, my God, Angie! What am I gonna do?! Calm down.
Try not to panic, please.
"Try not to panic"?! Look, you don't know this guy, okay?! Are you sure this painting is worth what he says it is? Yeah.
It's a muirragui original.
Ugh, he's such a loser.
Trust me, if I had known that his wife was gonna take everything, I would have never broken up their marriage.
So things didn't work out the way we planned.
We improvise.
We still gonna get paid, and then we gonna jet.
You feel me? I feel you, baby.
Oh, my God! He's waking up! Angie! What are you doing?! Herman, I am knocking him out so that you can kill him with something.
I'm not gonna kill him! Why not? You're gonna kill the cop, aren't you? No.
I'm just gonna take one of his kidneys and sew him back up That's all.
Tomorrow he's gonna wake up in a bathtub full of ice and have absolutely no idea what happened to him.
And rondo? I don't know! Okay?! Damn it! Damn it! Look at me, Herman.
Come on.
Now, you can either embrace this, or You can lose everything that's good And hot.
Do you understand? Yeah.
Alright, thank you officers.
Keep looking.
You ready to take this back, Bailey? It looks like some sort of elephant man or something.
The unis are having a hard time tracking down rondo green.
Bailey, the case is closed! Yeah, well, not for me, it isn't.
Stay here.
Maybe it's more like a lady minotaur or something.
Riding a panther.
You got anything good? Rondo called Drumroll, please Dr.
Herman Morris at his office address.
Uh, they talked close to seven minutes.
I knew it.
High five.
High five.
I got to talk to the lieutenant.
Good job.
Still no word from Dan? Could probably take his other kidney, too, and his liver.
And rondo, Hmm? You want to start a business now? Yes, that's a great idea.
Just think of all the rich people out there with cancer and And t-tumors.
We could sell hearts! I wasn't being serious! People would pay so much money for hearts! Oh! Where did he go?! He just walked away! You said he was gonna be out until tomorrow! I gave him enough to put out an elephant! Obviously Do something! He went upstairs! Help me.
Somebody.
Dr.
Jack! There's a dungeon! Call 911! You must be the donor.
What? Sorry.
Can't help you.
Oh.
Oh.
So you think this Dr.
Morris was trying to commit insurance fraud? He paid rondo to try to sell his painting on top of it.
He would have gotten away with it if we hadn't busted rondo first.
Do you have any evidence? It's circumstantial, but I can get him to break.
I'm more concerned about where Dan is, how his heart's doing.
Bailey.
Do me a favor and grow a pair, please.
Excuse me? Wherever Dan is, he would want you to continue working on this case.
And for the record, his heart is fine.
The results of his medical tests are in.
W I-I don't get it.
I-if it's not his heart, what's wrong with him? Remember these? You sure this guy has a healthy kidney? It's healthy enough.
Now, if your boss needed a new liver, that would be a different story.
How about a heart, Hmm? Your boss need one of those? I'm not cutting out anyone's heart! I really am sorry, but the good news is, we're giving your kidney to an incredibly rich man, which means he pays a fortune in taxes, taxes that are used to build schools and parks and hospitals.
And as long as he's alive, he's gonna continue to pay those taxes, which means that That more schools are gonna get built and more kids are gonna get a good education, so if you look at it that way, really, the positives outweigh the negatives here.
All right, let's operate.
Are you expecting someone? Not that I know of.
Take care of it.
Or I will.
Dr.
Morris.
How are you? I believe this belongs to you.
Oh, my goodness.
My muirragui.
I never thought I was gonna see this again.
Well, it's your tax dollars hard at work.
Well, thank you.
Just doing my job.
Before you go, I'd like to ask you a couple more questions.
Okay.
Have you ever heard of a man by the name of rondo green? UhNo.
Why? Oh, he's just the guy who stole your stuff.
You know, w-we still haven't found your tv or stereo, by the way.
Oh, yeah.
I was just I was gonna ask you about that.
You're sure you don't know a rondo green? No.
Definitely not.
I do not know a rondo green.
Well, then, why did you bail him out? I don't know what you're talking about.
You can call my lawyer if you have any more questions.
Come on, Dan.
Answer the phone.
That's my partner's phone.
Dan?! Dan? This is the Dallas p.
D.
! Drop your weapon! All right, freeze! Trying to kill me?! Dr.
Morris?! Dan?! What the hell is going on? Dan? You, uh They're getting away! Jack! Jack, leave! I'm not leaving you.
Leave, Jack.
You can have the trans am.
No.
I'm dying.
You are not dying, okay? I'm not? No.
You recognize these? Those are my indigestion pills.
Yeah.
You're just having a toxic reaction, all right? These expired 20 years ago, Dan! Ohh.
The fda's banned them.
I have felt better since I stopped taking them.
Yeah? Well, if I'm okay What the hell we waiting for? I don't believe this.
Come on! Come on! This is taking forever! The important thing is that we still have each other.
Just go! Go, go, go, go! Come on! Aah! Want a bite? Mmm.
God, no.
I'm sure glad you're feeling better.
Well, thanks, l.
T.
'Cause you are absolutely useless behind a desk.
Yeah.
How about you, gorgeous? Were you getting all misty just thinking of losing me? Oh, I did.
I ran out of kleenexes.
Whoa.
Hey, now.
Save it for jacko.
And, you, sweetness.
Hmm.
Thank you so much.
And, once again, foghat saved my life.
How do I check, uh, messages on this thing? Oh, it's it's easy.
You just hit that button.
Uh-huh.
Hey.
Yeah.
From you.
Oh, uh, I was just calling to see where you were.
Don't I mean, don't worry about it.
Y-you can just delete it.
Do you know how to do that? The "l" word.
Partner, you [ beep .]
You know we're in Texas, right? Can get in trouble for that.
Come here.
Bring it home.
Give it to me.
I love you, too, partner.
Rook! Come over here.
Get down.
On the floor.
Show me what you got.
I got an announcement to make! Yeah? I'm officially passing the Baton to the new Dallas police department push-up champion! Everybody give the rookie a hand! All right! Drinks on me at Julius'! How's that sound? Okay.
Yeah? Yeah well, I mean, the alcohol and the, uh, music might make it a little hard to True.
It might be tough to take it slow.
But then again, we could die tomorrow, so we should probably take it fast.
I'm sorry.
You're not invited.
Thank you.