The Great Indian Kapil Show (2024) s01e09 Episode Script

1
Roll, boys!
Check the sound.
Okay, ready? Roll and
Five, six, seven, eight! Dance!
Hey, do it properly! What are you doing?
Come on, Papaji! Energy!
Come on!
Papaji, energy! Full energy!
What is Kapil doing here?
You aren't thinking
about dancing, are you?
No, not at all.
Kapil, don't think about dancing at all.
People laugh at your jokes.
I hope they don't start
laughing at your dancing skills.
So, I can't try anything new?
-Don't try anything at all.
-Not at all.
I can try new things.
I'm a versatile actor.
Starting today, I'll be hosting your show.
Then I will be the judge.
I've always been eyeing Archana's chair.
Hello! Namaste!
Sat Sri Akal!
Adab!
Welcome to
The Great Indian Anil Kapoor Show!
Clap for me!
Listen. Find yourselves good seats
and be seated among the audience, please.
-Me too?
-Yes, please.
You stay there!
-Papaji
-I have brought a judge along.
Our judge is Papaji!
-No! No! No!
-Applaud her!
Hello! Farah is my best friend.
She will never take my seat.
Archana, I wouldn't have claimed your seat
if you hadn't already taken it
from someone else!
Now, she will audition
for Archana ji's post.
We'll have to see who among Archana ji
and Papaji is better, okay?
-Yes.
-So, here's my dialogue.
I agree that you like
I agree that you like
Hey, she is amazing! This is superb!
-Papaji, too good! Too good!
-Wow! Wow!
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
Farah, you're a successful
film director. Just do that!
See! When someone
challenges her position,
-she perceives others as successful.
-Correct.
-Otherwise, she overlooks everything.
-Archana, I will cook food for you.
No, I'm fine with diet food.
Archana, I will make a movie for you.
Papaji, I will make a biopic for her.
A biopic! That will be a first for Farah.
She has never made a biopic.
For the first time,
she's going to make a biopic.
But Archana can act
in only one person's biopic.
-Who is it?
-Archana Puran Singh in and as
Raza Murad.
I thought you were my friend!
Archana, I will get you
a crime series on Netflix.
How to Murder Your Husband
and Get Away With It.
This is good!
No! For me, forever and ever
The Kapil Show!
The Kapil Show! The Kapil Show!
Right?
Even those who engage in protests
don't sit for so long!
She won't budge, Anil sir.
Let's carry on with our work.
A big round of applause
for Anil sir and Farah ma'am!
I wonder what kind of elixir
both of them have been drinking.
-Really.
-They're aging in reverse.
We always compliment Anil sir
on his fitness.
All of you have watched Animal, right?
Yes!
Both Anil sir and Ranbir Kapoor
were shot in the movie.
While Ranbir was recovering,
he got a paunch. But he never did!
Why didn't you get a paunch, Papaji?
Now, in the movie Masoom 2,
he's going to play Jugal Hansraj's role.
-Really?
-Yes.
And in Hey Baby 2,
he will play the role of the baby.
He is aging in reverse.
They want you to play another role.
In Badhaai Ho, you will be in
Neena Gupta ji's womb.
Let me tell you that Anil sir has shared
great chemistry with all his heroines,
be it Madhuri Dixit ji,
Juhi Chawla ji or Rani Mukerji.
We presented him with all the options
and asked which heroine
he'd prefer to accompany here.
He said, "I won't accompany a heroine.
I want to accompany a man."
-A jibe at me.
-No!
After he said that, we tried
to rope in Jackie Shroff sahab,
but he wasn't available.
Then he said,
"Farah is my best friend."
-How did you choose Farah ma'am?
-So, you found neither a man nor a woman.
That's why you brought me here!
Let me tell you something
about Farah ma'am.
She hasn't choreographed
many songs for Anil sir,
but in the songs like "Dhol Bajne Laga"
and "Ek Ladki Ko Dekha Toh Aisa Laga,"
the heroines have danced more.
Anil sir has made
small appearances in them.
Did he take advantage of your friendship?
-Did he tell you
-No.
"Have the heroine dance, and I'll make
my entrance during the kissing scene."
No, I have also done
dance numbers with Papaji.
-Okay.
-But after seeing him dance,
I thought my career would end.
So, I
1942: A Love Story.
-During the shoot of that movie
-We met for the first time.
-he was a huge star, and I
-What do you mean I was?
-Am I not a star anymore?
-No, I mean
Well, he has always been a huge star.
Earlier, I was a huge star.
Now, I am humongous.
-Oh, my God!
-Even bigger than that!
-But now, he has got an iconic dance
-Step.
-I mean his style is iconic.
-Yes.
But the movies that we were doing
were very natural and realistic.
The type of films people are attempting
to make nowadays but failing at.
Papaji, they have been trying
to recreate it for a long time.
Right.
We have to praise him every minute.
Remember that.
-Yes.
-After every minute,
the topic has to circle back to Papaji.
If you don't praise him every minute,
he'll pull out a mirror and say,
"Wow! I look so good!"
Okay, tell me something.
I have noticed that
Farah ma'am always
addresses Anil sir as "Papaji".
-It's not in the fatherly context.
-Yes.
While we were working on
1942: A Love Story,
-Vinod Chopra ji was there.
-Yes.
-Everything that he did was
-Here's the thing.
Whenever he'd do something, we'd say,
-"Papaji, you are great!"
-"You are great!"
-"Papaji, you're great! The only one!"
-"Papaji, you're the only one!"
-Then it became our code word.
-Every morning, we'd go there and say,
-"Papaji, bless me!"
-"Papaji!"
Since then, whenever we meet,
we refer to each other as "Papaji."
At that time,
I used to be slim and sexy.
-You still are, Farah.
-You still are!
That's precisely why I said that!
So, Papaji would always You know,
I used to wear short skirts to the shoot.
What was your dialogue, Papaji?
"You got fine legs.
What are you doing this evening?"
Is there any change
in his compliments now?
No, he still asks me
what I'm doing in the evening.
-Not in the evening
-I say, "I'm tutoring my triplets."
"I'm sending them to tuition classes."
That's how I respond.
Nowadays, we just talk about our kids.
And every day, early in the morning,
we have a 15-minute bitch fest.
-Oh!
-Yes, that means we praise everyone.
-Gossip!
-After those 15 minutes,
-Papaji turns into a saint.
-A saint.
And then, he starts praising everyone.
That makes me feel like I'm the bad one
who keeps bitching about everyone
while he's always praising them.
Sometimes, we don't mean
anything bad against anybody.
But in an attempt to be humorous,
-the press perceives it differently
-Do you have a pooja ki thali?
-so things become bitter.
-It creates rifts.
It makes relationships
and friendships sour.
Thank you so much.
-Someone please get a pooja ki thali.
-Does anyone have incense sticks?
I feel that until you can
make fun of yourself
You have no right to laugh at others.
Again
Both of them know
how to name a relationship.
Now, I want to ask you
about a few relationships.
You have to tell me who suits it
best in this industry.
It's Netflix. You can speak openly here.
All of you know that
there's a fufa at every wedding,
who harbors anger towards
something or someone in particular.
Who do you think is that fufa
in the industry?
-We thought of someone's name.
-Yes.
-Then I said
-Then Papaji transformed into a saint.
He insisted that we refrain
from mentioning that name.
We just wanted a name.
Come to my van later.
I'll tell you in private.
There is always an unmarried sister
of the bride,
who captivates everyone's attention.
Who is that person in the industry?
Malaika?
Well, it's true that
everyone is crazy about her.
-Indeed.
-I'm afraid of who might beat me up.
You mentioned Nora Fatehi earlier.
Never mind.
Papaji!
You have known each other
for many years.
Between the two of you,
who do you think is more tightfisted?
No, Papaji is very
-We are very generous. Not at all.
-Anil is not at all tightfisted.
I can tell you who the most stingy person
in the industry is.
Who?
There is only one person.
Chunky Panday.
Yes, he is
I swear. Fetch my phone.
I'll ring him up and ask for 500 rupees.
-He won't give it.
-Bring her phone here.
-Turn on the speaker, ma'am.
-I'll turn on the speaker.
How much do I ask for? Tell me.
Chunky!
-Hi.
-Hi, it's Farah.
-Farah? Hi
-Chunky, listen. I need 500 rupees.
So, go to the ATM.
Chunky, at least give me 50 rupees.
Hello? Who do you want to talk to?
God!
-Hello, Chunky! Hello, Chunky?
-Chunky, it's Papaji. Anil.
-Hello, Chunky. Chunky
-Yes, who is it?
He doesn't want money, Chunky.
He's Anil Kapoor.
He doesn't want money.
-Oh! Anil, how are you?
-Chunky, I have a role for you.
Do you think you can do it?
I I will do any role.
Will you play the role
of the hero's mother?
Any day! I hope it's a young mother.
Chunky, bye! We love you!
-Bye, Chunky!
-We love you, Chunky sir!
Bye!
It's so much fun.
We have mischievous guests today.
Please, sir.
Welcome to the show.
-Sir, this pillow shouldn't be hidden.
-No, sir.
-Right. It's where the money comes from.
-Sir
-Stop! Stop! Stop!
-Slow down!
Why don't you stop it?
-Do you know how to stop it?
-What
Wait a minute. I know how to stop it.
I will stop it. Watch me.
No!
You said you learned how to stop it.
I learned how to crash it.
-Hello.
-Hello.
Hello.
-Runway Engineer Chumbak Mittal.
-Chumbak?
-Chumbak Mittal.
-Chumbak Mittal.
He's not an engineer. He just claims
to be an aeronautical engineer.
He just drives parrots away.
You know the birds that appear in front
of airplanes on the runway, right?
Why are you standing? Sit on the floor.
Farah ji,
I couldn't bring anything for you.
-But I got something for your kids.
-Oh, wow! What did you get?
Give these ten-rupee notes
to your three kids.
Tell them it's from Uncle Chumbak.
-Are they real?
-Yes, they are real.
-Buy them some video game
-A video game?
What type of video game costs ten rupees?
They cost up to 250,000 rupees!
It doesn't matter
even if they cost five lakh rupees.
But the battery they run on
costs only ten rupees. They can buy one.
You can buy three batteries.
-Chunky was much better than him.
-Yes.
Okay. Anil ji, here's a ten rupee note
for your kids.
-Oh, my God!
-But he has three kids.
Look, I only had 40 rupees,
so I can only give him ten rupees.
Wait. Pick a finger.
All right.
Let's finalize Rashmika Mandanna.
Please take my wedding proposal to her.
-Wait, who was the second choice?
-Tripti Dimri.
Why would he take
your wedding proposal to Rashmika?
Why not? What problem does he have?
He will talk to her.
Right?
-Okay, why don't you do it?
-What?
Check it.
You hurt Rashmika!
-Tripti, are you all right?
-Tripti!
Tripti is fine.
Well, if you have a problem
with taking my wedding proposal
to Rashmika and Tripti,
then there are background dancers.
Perhaps someone who dances poorly
that you want to dismiss from your team.
So, you want me to sit here
and do that at this age?
You can also do it while standing.
That's fine.
Anil sir, let me tell you.
You did a movie named Nayak.
-Yes.
-He is our nalayak.
-Are you comfortable?
-Indeed.
If you don't mind,
can I get comfortable as well?
Those who are married
don't face any problems.
Those who are unmarried
need to come up with such schemes.
I'm sure you know what a scheme is.
For example, the scheme
that these two have with Netflix.
You were only invited here
because of your friendship.
These two are raking in a fortune
from this show, you know?
You think you are their friend.
No, you are a product.
He has such a collection of things
in his bag.
-No, I
-Bar nibbles, glasses, and whatnot.
-Would you like some?
-No.
If you ask me, I'm ready to be married.
Look over there.
It has been connected.
It's a PPT. These are my options
for a wedding sherwani.
-I'm completely ready.
-But where is the bride?
Well, you have to find me one.
That's why I came to you.
If the girl wears this dress,
I have a matching option.
And if she wears this one,
I have the option to match her outfit.
If she wears this one,
I have that as a matching option.
For this one, I've got this.
And for this one, I've got this.
-Now, look at this.
-The wedding mare!
-Why have you put up your photo?
-What
-That's a horse!
-A horse? I thought it was a donkey.
Look, I have options
for honeymoon destinations.
I have food options as well. Paneer
lababdaar, paneer tikka, paneer tandoori.
-Veg gravy and this
-Engineer sahab
This is normal gravy.
If the girl is a non-vegetarian,
we can add chicken to it.
And if she's a vegetarian,
-we can add paneer to it.
-Engineer sahab.
These are the milk options
to drink on the wedding night.
We have buffalo milk, cow milk,
and milk from a white and a black cow.
And this is a thumbprint lock.
It will be installed on the bedroom door.
Only my bride and I will
be able to unlock it.
-Engineer sahab
-Four options for the wedding garland.
-Engineer sahab!
-Now, the vessel options for grihapravesh.
One, two, three, four, five.
These are the options for wedding cards.
-Engineer sahab!
-These are the options for the band.
I've also got options for
mangalsutra and sindoor.
Look, these are the options
for the honeymoon bed.
-Engineer sahab
-I can hear you! I'm not deaf!
I have been listening
to your nonsense for so long!
Why do you drink so much?
-I drink to increase my tolerance.
-Oh, my!
You know
Hey, stop it. Stop playing.
It didn't work out. You can leave now.
-Didn't work out?
-What didn't work out?
I came here a little prepared.
I thought the bride would be finalized,
-so I thought I'd bring the band along.
-You call this a little prepared?
Well, yes.
Now, if you had seen this,
you would have said, "Jhaapdi ke!"
You know, the downside is that
we get to see such people at this airport.
-Random people just show up.
-He should be at the railway station.
-How did he come to the airport?
-He shouldn't have come into the world.
Let's ask an interesting question
to Anil sir.
Anil sir, is there a Hollywood actress
with whom you wouldn't mind
rumors of an affair,
finding it amazing
rather than devastating?
Anyone.
-Anyone!
-Anyone.
-Absolutely right. Anyone.
-Anyone.
-Anyone from Hollywood is fine.
-Even from Bollywood.
-No, not from Bollywood.
-No? Okay.
-Holl
-That was out of line.
-Farah ma'am, if you get a chance, who
-Tom Cruise! Tom Cruise!
Tom Cruise.
She didn't even let me finish.
Tom Cruise. The one and only.
I even have my son's permission.
You should have your husband
Shirish's permission.
My husband told me to go
and do something, but
Anil sir did a movie called Nayak.
It's an amazing movie.
Everyone has watched it.
Sir, you became the CM for a day
in the movie.
Now, imagine this.
If you became Farah Khan for a day,
what would you like to do?
If I became Farah Khan
Well, I think she is
You know, there's commercial entertainment
in her films.
For example, Main Hoon Na
and Om Shanti Om.
Even I would like to try to make
-A commercial film.
-I want to make a commercial film.
What if you became Anil Kapoor
for a day, ma'am?
I have many films. She has just two.
If I became Anil Kapoor for a day,
I will eat from morning to night.
-Is that so?
-Because he is so careful.
Even if he gets something to eat,
Sunita takes his plate away.
Then he tries to take food
from our plates.
But there is a legendary story.
I don't know if it's true or not.
There were two directors. I think
Abbas-Mustan, or someone, came to Papaji
and explained his role
where he had to play Sonam's father.
And Papaji said, "What nonsense!
How can I be Sonam's father?"
We always joke about the things
Archana ji does to Parmeet sir.
Today Parmeet sir himself is here.
Hey, Bittu!
I would like to say that
he is not here out of love.
-Yes.
-Today, she has a flight after the shoot.
Her driver didn't show up. So, she said,
"Parmeet, drop me off at the airport."
You always make jokes about Parmeet,
but he's never here to defend himself.
I make jokes about you.
Parmeet sir is very sweet.
But you do make jokes about him.
And if you do it today
-Bittu, deal with him today.
-No, I could never hit him.
What a handsome man! Wow!
Love you, Parmeet sir!
Parmeet Bittu is not here as her driver.
He is here to make sure
that she catches the flight and leaves.
He doesn't want her to miss the flight.
He has some other plans this evening.
Let me tell you all that Anil sir
has filed a petition in the High Court
that no one can copy his voice, looks,
and pictures. No one can mimic him.
-Is that so?
-Sir, why did you do that?
Were the mimicry artists
not paying your share?
-Didn't you get your commission?
-I wanted more people to do it.
Nowadays, people misuse it too.
Once, on the radio in Delhi,
I heard someone was selling flats
using Akshay paaji's voice.
It really must have been Akshay.
Did you see this avatar of Farah ma'am?
She is so jovial.
But she is very different on the set.
When she is the director,
she scolds everyone.
The audience wanted to know this.
Have you ever chewed out Shirish at home?
Well
Anil will say no.
He's the macho man on the set,
and his wife rules the household.
But here, it's the opposite.
Shirish is the boss in the house.
-Is that so?
-Yes.
-Really?
-He stays quiet when he's outside.
At home, he talks so much
that all of us hide behind the couch,
thinking that he will come
and start giving us lectures.
So, that's not the case.
At home, I'm very
-Work is work after all.
-Work is work.
I'm very polite and very
Farah, I can't imagine
"polite" and "Farah" together
in a single sentence.
-They seem incompatible.
-No, she is a great hostess.
-I've been to her house so many times.
-Hostess, yes.
She's such a great hostess,
sometimes she invites celebrities over
and does not recognize them.
Once, Ed Sheeran,
the international singer, visited her.
-She didn't recognize him.
-No, I recognized him.
That's not true.
The story is Ed Sheeran visited us
well, later, all of us were a bit drunk.
-Yes.
-The DJ was playing something.
I was inebriated and I told him,
"Hey, DJ!" I even cussed at him.
"Why are you playing funeral songs?"
He said, "Ma'am, I'm playing
Ed Sheeran's songs."
I said, "Oh! Ed Sheeran's songs!
Keep playing!"
-Greetings! Greetings, Farah ma'am!
-What happened to you?
Welcome to our café!
-Has he become a waiter?
-I'm the famous waiter Yes.
Very famous. I'm Raju.
-What do I present in your honor?
-Present?
Are you a courtesan
that you'll "present" something?
I'm no less than a courtesan.
Ma'am, tell him.
You have seen my excellent dancing skills
and grace in the dance show.
All right. Since Farah ma'am is here,
let's address it today and clarify it.
-He was eliminated from the dance show.
-Correct.
That day, he said,
"Farah ma'am wasn't keeping well,
and she didn't come to the show.
So, the other judges eliminated me."
"If she had been there,
she wouldn't have eliminated me."
-Yes.
-How true is that?
I was truly unwell, but I was sent
to the ICU because of his abysmal dancing!
Farah, he mentioned that
due to his selection for a dance show,
his comedic timing might be off here!
Archana ma'am, you're one to talk!
-Why?
-I've seen you dance with Naseer sahab.
But, honestly, when I saw
Naseer sahab and you dancing,
I couldn't discern who was worse.
I was a background dancer in Jalwa,
-and Archana was the lead.
-Yes, the group dance
I swear, the dance master
from the South of India
was thoroughly annoyed
while getting them to dance.
He wanted to take me
with him to the South.
Yeah!
If you call him here now,
he can sign her as his hero.
-Shut up!
-It's an old joke.
This joke has been repeated 150 times.
Tell us a good joke.
Farah ma'am
I miss you over there.
She always applauded me
with a standing ovation.
Nonsense! The doctor
advised her against prolonged sitting,
so she would intermittently stand up.
Did the doctor also recommend
she applaud and evaluate my performance?
-This is an exercise
-No, Kapil.
Here's the thing.
Nobody laughs at his comedy.
But his dancing certainly made us laugh!
So, you've joined hands with him!
I feel like I might end up
fleeing the country.
I wonder what is so magical
about him that no one ever likes him!
Kapil ji, the one who can endure
others making fun of him
while maintaining a stoic expression
and allowing the jests to persist
-He's a stubborn man!
-He
Sir, please get me another job.
-I
-I won't Sir, I got him a job.
There's an astrologer who has a parrot.
The parrot comes out
of its cage and picks out a note.
I got him a job bathing that parrot.
He couldn't do it properly.
He told the parrot,
"Gangaram, will you eat seeds?"
The parrot replied,
"Have you ever had it?"
Then I wonder
what the parrot thought and said,
"Jhaapdi ke!"
First, tell me. Who gives
a bath to someone else's parrot?
The parrot's owner can give it a bath.
Is it even a job? If it were
a proper job, I would have done it.
Okay, I'll give you a job.
You know those dogs that chase after
vehicles along Juhu Beach?
As soon as they complete 10,000 steps,
you have to feed them glucose.
You never do the jobs I give you.
Are you amused to witness
a poor man being insulted? Laugh!
You've managed to buy a Mercedes
through enduring insults.
You know, he also earns money
by making you cry and mocking you.
Anil sir, if you could grant me
just one favor
-Yes, sir?
-give me the role of the second lead
in one of your movies.
-The second lead?
-I myself am the second lead. How can I
Farah ma'am, thank you
so much for coming here.
Anil sir, I'm a big fan. I really am.
You could have said the same to me.
-Ma'am, I praised you so much on
-They edited it.
-It got edited out of the show.
-It got edited?
They will edit it out here as well!
Thank you very much! Thank you!
Sir, I want to ask you something.
We have never asked him this.
So, your inner personality,
what is this personality like?
Do you believe in taking revenge
or do you believe in forgiveness?
Both.
-So, you take revenge and then forgive?
-I take revenge and forgive people too.
-I have never seen you take revenge.
-I do it through my work.
-What do you mean?
-I do great work to take revenge.
-Saintly god-man!
-Saintly god-man!
Saintly god-man!
This question is for you too.
I don't exactly take revenge.
I harbor negative feelings
toward them deep down.
-You curse them.
-I curse them.
My curses inevitably materialize.
If someone does something really bad,
I wholeheartedly curse
their upcoming films to fail.
So, whoever is delivering
flop movies right now,
now you understand why.
-Mine are all hits.
-Papaji, I'll never curse you. I love you.
Both of you have a successful career.
What scares you the most?
Look, before the release,
everyone is afraid.
The rise in trolling on social media
has reached such an extent
that the joy we get from making a movie
is marred by the negativity
during the release.
-We are old-timers now.
-Yes.
-So, there is not much to fear
-Indeed, that's not the case.
-We have already seen so much
-Yes, we have.
that we know this phase shall also pass.
-This too shall pass.
-Yes.
We keep getting
random news on social media,
like someone went to a salon
wearing a night suit or something similar.
But we have never seen Anil sir
like that in all these years.
He's always dressed to the nines, sporting
a suit, jacket, boots, and whatnot,
always looking handsome.
Do you also sleep like that, sir?
Or do you wear a night suit to bed?
-That's not how it is. I
-But that is true, Papaji.
Whenever I have randomly landed
at his house, he's always dressed
-Properly.
-Proper. I mean, he looks smart.
That's not the case. When I go
on morning walks or to exercise,
I wear normal tracksuits,
-shorts and T-shirts.
-Okay.
When I go, all of you are asleep.
That's the problem.
So, you don't get to see it.
Because I leave early in the morning.
That's so true!
Too good!
Wait.
What is it?
How dare you dance in front
of the lead artist? Are you stupid?
Go back!
Why are you dancing behind me?
You told me to dance behind you.
Whether you're at the front or the back,
you can't dance
better than the lead artist!
If you do such things,
who will be willing to hire us?
-Get out of here now.
-I will catch you later.
How will you catch me?
I don't work for TV anymore!
You have to spend 199 rupees
in order to catch me!
I'm Mona from Netflix!
You can't catch me for free anymore!
Come on, leave.
Translate my anger to them.
Okay, baby, bye. I love you.
He's too good!
-Hello, sir. Hi, Kaps. How are you?
-Hi!
Jhakaas greetings to you!
-Jhakaas greetings!
-Hello!
How are you?
-So pretty.
-I had a lot of fun today.
Wow, Farah ma'am! You look great!
A big round of applause for her. Wow!
Farah ma'am looks so beautiful.
You can't say that she has four kids.
-Four?
-Hey! She has three kids.
That's what I meant.
You don't seem like you have four kids.
You do look like you have three kids.
How do I look?
Today, I have dressed up as
-Whom?
-Malaika from "Chaiyya Chaiyya."
She looks more like Arbaaz than Malaika.
You're an air hostess.
Why are you doing this?
Kaps, our airline has completed 50 days.
And today, we are having a party.
-Who parties after completing 50 days?
-We do.
Actually, we never anticipated
it would last even a day, sir.
Anil sir, I'll be honest with you,
when our plane initially took off,
the sky was shrouded in smoke.
Also, the plane's silencer fell off!
-Planes don't have silencers.
-We used a scooter's engine,
so we had to use a silencer as well.
He keeps me busy with his talks.
Let's talk to the people from Animal.
-Farah ma'am, how are you?
-She wasn't in Animal.
-I wasn't in Animal.
-Well, she's a big party animal.
I see.
She does all the parties
in the film industry.
A birthday party,
a movie's success party,
-a movie's failure party
-Hey! Who has a failure party?
Other people.
That's right!
There's a thing called jealousy, sir.
No one wants others
to surpass them, Anil sir.
Look, now that you are here,
Remo is here too as a violinist!
Remo!
That's how they are.
Sir, we have a party this evening.
It would be great if you could attend.
-Of course. Sure.
-Right? It's okay if you don't.
Anil Kapoor from Dahisar is coming anyway.
Sir, don't listen to her.
She only invites the lookalikes.
Of course, only the duplicates
will show up, not the originals.
Also, this evening, there's a dance
performance by Shah Rukh Khan.
-Do watch.
-Which Shah Rukh? The one from Bhandup?
No, he was too expensive. He demanded
that his commuting expenses be covered.
-Then?
-We have a Shah Rukh here.
-Is that so?
-He is cheap.
Let me call him. Hey, Shah Rukh!
That's Shah Rukh?
Hey, you dropped your hat!
The hat
"Hey! Everyone falls in love."
"But no one can love the way I do."
"After all, no one has you."
"Hey"
Hey, Dhaniya!
-Dhaniya
-He is our chef, Dhaniya.
-Hey!
-Hey! Wait a minute.
Hey, what is this?
How did you recognize me, Sharma ji?
I wore a mask and these shades.
I even wore a hat.
And yet, you recognized me!
I saw your mask,
but your body that resembles
Shah Rukh's bungalow gave it away.
Ma'am, this is the Shah Rukh
who wants to learn how to dance.
Please teach me.
I'm a big fan of your dancing.
You know, while cooking in my kitchen,
I copy all your steps.
When I have to knead the dough,
I go like this
Like this.
When I have to pump the stove,
I go like this
-I copy all your steps.
-This is nothing.
-Last week, four dogs were chasing him.
-Why?
He was doing the step from
"Munni Badnaam" to apply some ointment.
-Well, I do my own steps.
-Wow.
I don't copy anyone's uncle!
Sir, here's another thing.
I have a friend whose father is your fan.
And sir, he is about
ten years older than you.
He doesn't go to the gym.
He eats all kinds of junk food.
And yet, he is more fit than you are.
-How?
-Anil is six feet tall,
while he is six and a half feet tall.
We can keep talking, but, Farah ma'am,
please teach me
a few steps of Shah Rukh ji.
Now? For free?
Well, just teach me.
Later, I don't want society to say
that I look just like Shah Rukh Khan,
but I can't dance like him.
Now, you are overdoing it.
Be thankful that I made you
dress up as Shah Rukh Khan.
Otherwise, his family was
going to use him as a water cooler!
No kidding.
Such an idiot!
You don't look like Malaika Arora either.
You look like a malai ka katora!
I have no interest in dancing with you.
I won't dance! There you go!
-Bye!
-Hey!
Why are you angry, my Dunki?
My Pathaan.
My King Kong I mean King Khan. Yes.
Farah ma'am, hear me out.
In "Chaiyya Chaiyya,"
-you made everyone dance on the train.
-Yes.
Today, for the first time on our show,
we will make Farah ma'am
and Anil sir dance on a plane!
-A plane!
-Yes!
-We have leveled up.
-Where is it?
-We will get it.
-Come on, bring the plane!
-Come on! Sir, hurry up.
-Where is
-It's coming in from both sides.
-Oh, it's on the runway.
-It's on the runway
-Yes.
-Is this the plane?
-Yes, it is. Look at this.
So, this is the plane.
Now, we will dance on the plane.
-Come, Farah ma'am.
-Unbelievable!
-Will it take our weight?
-You stand there.
Please come. Dance on the plane.
How was it?
Mind-blowing!
We danced on the plane, sir.
How was it, Farah ma'am?
I must say that I have never
seen anyone dance like this.
I mean, the plane crashed
before it could even take off!
-Okay, let's go.
-Pick up your planes.
Look, a cruise is carrying a plane.
Get going!
-Okay, bye, sir!
-Come on.
Okay, see you, sir!
-Kapil.
-Yes, ma'am?
You were eager to dance outside,
weren't you?
-Well, I
-Let me teach you now.
No, I There was no one outside,
but there are so many people here.
-You can teach anyone. I can sing.
-Teach
-Will you sing?
-Yes.
-A Spanish song, "Bella Ciao."
-He's a superb singer.
A Spanish song! You can't even
speak Hindi and Punjabi properly,
and you want to sing a Spanish song!
Challenge?
Okay!
Yes, guys. Here's a Spanish singer.
The one and only
Wow!
Wow! Good night!
Take care!
See you next week!
Please welcome Janhvi Kapoor
and Rajkummar Rao.
Janhvi, would you like to choose
a partner with the same interests as you?
The shikhar you are at right now
This is your second film together.
In Roohi, she played a ghost.
Did she scare you more
as a ghost or as a wife?
Be it a ghost or a wife,
it's all the same when you're in love.
The way you are playing Janhvi's husband,
in the same way, you can be mine as well.
He did it while shooting.
Yes, you have to shoot with me too.
After the shoot,
I myself am someone's husband!
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
THE GAME IS HERE
What is something that he always
keeps in his vanity or his bag?
She always travels
with her Pilates equipment.
-Oh, wow!
-She's a fitness freak. We all know that.
I thought Pilates was a type of food.
Pilates!
Hungry?
Demon?
No, something similar.
Monkey, dog, gorilla,
horse, crow, cow, bear!
-Yes!
-Bhaloo!
Ghanti? Ghanta?
Plural.
Ghante?