The Healing Powers of Dude (2020) s01e08 Episode Script

I'll Be Right Here

1 - [NOAH.]
All right.
Good boy.
- [DUDE BARKS.]
All right.
Go get it, bud.
Nice.
Good boy.
All right.
All right.
You ready? Go long, Dude.
- [BARKS.]
- Nice.
[RUMBLING.]
[WHIMPERS.]
[WHINES.]
Dude! And he goes by Dude.
Watch it, Mom.
Uh, no, I don't know how he got that name.
Finished the fliers.
I went back and forth a bunch, but I ended up going with Comic Sans.
Who cares about the font? Why'd you use the pic of Dude licking himself? Because we want people to recognize him, don't we? Hey, good news.
Meghan Harrison thinks she saw Dude near the old Dunkin' Donuts.
The same Megan Harrison who thinks Jay-Z is a time-traveling vampire? I'll keep making calls.
- Hey, bud.
- Hey, you hungry? I can make you anything you want.
Anything but eggs.
I'm okay.
Still feeling sick from last night? I can't believe you vomited all over Valerie Stevens' party.
Well, believe it.
Maybe if I change my last name, I can get an invite next year.
Guys, I appreciate you doing this, but I don't think Dude's gonna want to come back.
He came back last time.
This is different.
I was so mean.
We need to stay positive.
I'm making these phone calls.
Your dad printed out these Oh.
Comic Sans? I knew I should've gone with Helvetica.
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING.]
Pretty sure I buried it right around here.
Rough night? You look like you slept in a dumpster.
Well, Noah and I got into a fight, and he basically told me to leave and never come back.
Also, yes, I slept in a dumpster.
Yeah, you reek of moldy cheese and self-pity.
Don't worry.
I'll be out of your cotton-candy hair in a minute.
I only came back to grab my panaffle, and then I'm gonna hit the road.
Hey, you should come with me.
- What? - Yeah, we could travel the world together.
I hear Worcester, Mass, is gorgeous this time of year.
I don't think so.
[LORI.]
Oh, Ms.
Grumpy Pants.
Mommy just scheduled us an appointment to get matching island braids.
- When do we leave? - Immediately.
Let me just grab my bag.
So the plan is to start on the west side and then work our way back.
- Let's go.
- But Dude could be anywhere.
How do we even know where to look? Well, I didn't mention this before, but remember that time that I went downtown? Alone.
Yes, alone.
Well, I was walking down this really sketchy street when Dude! He came back.
You want me to go with you? No.
I got this.
- [DOOR OPENS.]
- So what were you saying about being on a really sketchy street? Mom, just let it go.
Okay.
Just play it cool.
Play it cool.
Oh, shoot.
Here comes Noah.
Just play cool.
Play it cool.
Hi.
Hey.
Look, I'm sorry I yelled at you.
You straight up white-fanged me.
Ah, Scratch was right about not wasting time on humans.
I was hurt by something Valerie's friend said, and then Amara and Simon got upset with me.
But none of that matters.
What matters is everything's better when you're by my side.
You're not just my emotional-support dog.
You're part of my family.
Part of your family? [SIGHS.]
So - what do you say? - I say - it's good to be back home.
- Oh.
[CHUCKLES.]
Ew.
You smell like dumpster vomit.
Yeah, I get that a lot.
- [CHEERS.]
- Whoo-whoo.
[SING-SONG.]
Okay.
I'm ready.
Oh, boy.
Noah, give me a second.
- So there's been a change of plans.
- What? Uh, Noah apologized.
Something about Valerie's friend.
- Anyway - I hate you.
Yeah, that's fair.
See you around.
[BARKS.]
[LAUGHTER.]
Married to my cat.
We Um, we just live together.
In a normal human-cat situation.
It, um Ach, I wish you hadn't dragged me into this mess.
Now all my cat friends are gonna be like, "Yo, Dane, what up with your loser human?" We-We-We really should be getting to that gym because Aah.
[FAST FORWARDS TAPE.]
[MAN.]
Meyers might be the principal, but it's pretty clear who's running this school.
- [REWINDS TAPE.]
- Meyers might be the principal but it's pretty clear who's running this school.
Have no idea who's running this school.
You are acting cray right now.
[NASALLY WHINE.]
Why couldn't I have become an accountant like father wanted? [PURRS.]
What? It can't be.
A flea? But I give you pills.
Yeah, about that.
I pretend to eat them and then spit them in your coffee when you're not looking.
Also, the fleas are probably from the street cat I've been seeing.
Okay, several street cats.
[SIGHS.]
Okay, perfect.
I guess we'll have to cancel your salon appointment.
Let's get you out of here before this spreads.
Uh-oh.
The last time I saw that smile, you put me in a Leonardo DiCaprio look-alike contest.
[CHUCKLES.]
So - last night was - Awful.
I told you that party would be dumb.
So dumb.
The dumbest.
You psyched about the performance tonight? I can't believe it sold out.
It did? Oh.
I forgot.
You're not on the Gram.
The video of you singing got reposted by Channel 4 News.
Everyone in town is coming tonight.
Everyone in town? Yep.
Well, technically, not everyone.
My Uncle Ross went to an all-you-can-eat sushi place and got mercury poisoning.
So, like, nearly everyone, but it is going to be packed.
Okay, Simon, I get it.
Hey, guys.
I just wanted to say You got this.
Just say anything.
Anytime.
Speak.
I have to go study my lines for tonight.
I too have something important to do that needs to happen at this very moment.
Don't stress, but now you have to run after them Tom Cruise-style.
People always love that.
Or maybe we just take a moment.
Noah! How'd it go? Noah? How'd it go? Noah! We're just getting our feelings out, Dad.
Okay, I'm getting the vibe that things maybe didn't go so great with Simon and Amara.
They never want to talk to me again.
No, sweetie.
Um you and your friends are gonna figure this out.
- Yeah.
- Sometimes people need a little space.
Yeah, like your mom did summer of '05.
When are you gonna get over that? It's hard to get over having your heart ripped out of your chest.
I thought we were talking about me.
- Sorry.
- Yes.
You know, I was thinking maybe I shouldn't go to the show tonight.
- What? - No.
You can't bail on the show.
You're the Second assistant prop master.
Second assistant prop master.
That's so important.
[TEXT ALERT.]
Oh.
Uh, I just got a text from Logan.
Why are you getting texts from him? Somebody just bought your sculpture.
For hella hundos? Pretty close.
Dad, that's awesome! - That's great, huh? - Hey.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- Dad sold his statue? Does that mean that we can finally go to Paris? Mm, I do look good in a beret.
[MUTTERS.]
Man, this tree looks so real.
I'm gonna pee on it.
Don't even think about it, Dude.
[WHINES.]
Amara.
Thirty minutes to show time.
Amara? [AMARA.]
I'm not going on.
Tell Tinsley she can do tonight.
Amara, please open the door.
This is all my fault.
I have to do something.
Oh, we got this.
- You know, my mom once said - Go away! - [BANGS DOOR.]
- Just need to get some backup.
Uh, yep.
[BOY.]
I know, right? It's so stupid.
- Right? - What's your hurry? He probably has to throw up.
[ALL SNICKER.]
[MAKES VOMIT NOISES.]
I'm a lover not a fighter, but say the word, and I'll bite that kid.
[HEART BEATING.]
Back off! It's our girl.
We were just joking around, Val.
[SIGHS.]
Confirming why I never thought of you as my funny friend.
Whatever.
Let's go.
You okay? Totally.
Why wouldn't I be? Because a kid was just making vomit noises at you.
Oh.
Right.
That.
Sorry for what happened at my party.
I just wish I'd known you weren't feeling good.
It's all right.
You were too busy talking to Tia.
Ooh.
You heard that.
I hope you know that's what she thinks, but it's not what I think.
Yeah, Dude is awesome.
Preach.
But you're awesome, too.
So I'll see you tonight at the musical? The musical.
Uh, I I got to go.
- But I I just - Later! Okay.
Enjoy the show.
Enjoy the show.
Hey.
Enjoy the show.
Love is a myth.
Look, I get why you're mad.
I didn't realize Amara liked me until right before we went into the party.
But don't worry.
She completely hates me now.
Enjoy the show.
Please ignore this backstabber to my left.
I'll just give you boys some space.
Ah.
Dude.
There you are.
Hey, pal.
You talking to me? Aw, you are such a good boy.
Yeah, good boy.
[CHUCKLES.]
Ah.
Just so cute.
Okay, that was super-weird.
Fine.
Stay mad.
I'm only here 'cause something's wrong with Amara.
Is she hurt? Is she sick? Did she finally run over the director with the wheelchair? All I know is she's locked herself in her dressing room.
Then what are you waiting for? Let's go.
Enjoy the show.
Amara, it's Noah.
- And Simon.
- And Dude.
I know you're still mad at me.
Yeah, we're both still mad at you.
Can you please just open the door so we can talk? Okay, stand back.
I've seen this done in movies.
[YELLS.]
Ow.
[GROANS.]
Hi.
I was under the impression that the door was locked.
Do these guys know how to make an entrance or what? I still can't believe our Noah is second assistant prop master for the school musical.
You guys do realize that he'll be backstage the entire time and won't even know we're here.
- We're not leaving.
- Ay.
- So, based on the program - Mm-hmm.
this musical is about Elliot's little sister Gertie, who's now grown up and considered the town eccentric for trying to contact E.
T.
and bring him back.
It's the sequel we've all been craving.
Amara, if this is about what happened at the party, I am so Slow down, egomaniac.
This has nothing to do with you.
Seriously.
Full of yourself much? It's actually all Simon's fault.
- What? - You're the one who told me the entire town is coming to the show tonight.
Except for my uncle.
Mercury poisoning.
Well, that's exciting, right? It's one thing to perform in front of our school, but in front of everyone we know, including my dentist? I just can't do it.
Okay.
Well my therapist always asks me "What's the worst thing that could happen?" Let's see.
Amara forgets the words, then everyone boos.
- She cries onstage - Everything you just said.
Minus the crying.
I haven't cried since I came out of my mom's belly via C-section in the booth of an IHOP.
That sounds horrifying.
I just feel like if I can overcome my fear of facing you guys after what happened at the party Yeah, I heard you threw up.
You did? That's awful.
Yes.
It was pretty awful.
But my point is that if I can stand here with you guys now, then you, Amara, the most fearless person I know, can go out on that stage and sing.
Sorry.
This itch is just killing me.
- You're forgetting one key thing.
- What? You have Dude.
If I go up on that stage I'll be all by myself.
But what if you weren't by yourself? But I will be.
Okay, but - what if you - Don't say it again.
Weren't.
[AMARA SIGHS.]
Okay, Embry, it's starting.
But Ally just texted me that T.
Swift is cooler than Beyoncé.
I can't just let that slide.
Embry, now.
[BANG.]
Is that? Noah.
[HEAVY BREATHING.]
Everything's okay.
Just pretend they're all in their underwear.
What are they doing? This play just got a lot more exciting.
He can't be up there.
He's gonna have a panic attack.
[HYPERVENTILATING.]
E.
T.
Every time I try to tell them They rebuff me E.
T.
Elliott tells me it's absurd E.
T.
Earth to Gertie Not a word He's had enough, see You think I'm lost in my own world But I'm lost in yours E.
T.
He's the alien, but they alienate me E.
T.
You can't phone home When your home thinks you're phony Dissect my memories Like a high-school laboratory Tried to guess, I felt the red light Put my thoughts in quarantine - Remember - [AUDIENCE.]
Aw - You try to put together pieces - [LAUGHS.]
- Remember - I hope this audience has seen E.
T.
, or there's no way they get what's going on up here.
for you What happened there that night Like riding a bike But you forgot the ride I see him all the time In my mind saying I'll be right here 'Cause if he comes when he comes They'll all believe me I'll be right here I wouldn't be alone at home My brothers would be right here Remember Try to put together pieces Remember Follow the trail of Reese's I can Speak & Spell it out for you What happened there that night Like riding a bike But don't forget the Ride Yes! Yes! [LAUGHS.]
[OVERLAPPING CHATTER.]
[MARVIN.]
Noah! Oh.
I can't believe you sang onstage.
We just did it to support Amara.
Thankfully, she only needed us for one song.
Well, I've never seen a better singing Elliot in my life.
Except for the five other singing Elliots onstage.
But you were pretty good.
Aw, what a picture-perfect family.
Now will someone please scratch my butt? Unh.
We'll meet you at Grandma's to celebrate.
We're so proud of you.
Looks like you've got a ton of adoring fans.
One is from Mrs.
Wakowski, one is from Ms.
Fleckburg, and the other seven or so are from my family.
They want to take me out for celebratory ice cream, but I told them I had plans with my friends.
So we're friends again? Last night, I wanted to flatten you with my wheelchair, but tonight you reminded me what a great friend you are.
And I think that's how we should stay.
Friends.
Well, it means a lot to me to be your friend.
Ah.
Man, I can't stay mad at you, either, bro.
Oh.
Uhh Wait.
Why were you mad at Noah? Uh because I accidentally ripped the tail off of his cat costume.
- It was a rental.
- Sorry.
Speaking of costumes, you know you can take that off now, right? Oh, yeah.
It's actually really comfortable.
Also, I can't find my pants.
Just think.
A few months ago, Amara wasn't a musical-theater star.
Simon wasn't bully-free on the bus.
And I wasn't Able to stand in a school hallway without screaming and running away? [BOTH CHUCKLE.]
But here we are now.
Best friends.
We are going to rule this school by years end.
I love these kids.
Even the loud one.
Ah, there he is.
There has been a flea outbreak, and there's only one mutt they could've come from.
Why is everyone staring at me? I suggest you check his fur.
- Fleas.
- Ah, yeah, that explains the itching.
I knew it.
I knew it.
Which is why I already alerted the school board, and they told me that Dude is to stay off school property indefinitely.
[HYPERVENTILATING.]
[HEART POUNDING.]
Just when things were going well.
[LAYUP.]
All the best things that I've seen In all the most-wonderful hues All the best sights that I see I see with you All All All All the best All the best streets I drove down All the towns I've wandered through All the best ones Are all better with you All All All All the best All
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