The Horror of Dolores Roach (2023) s01e01 Episode Script

They Called Me Magic Hands

And I don't know how
many times I told you
that I can't stop.
But I'm gonna miss you.
And I was obsessed with
that true crime podcast
about Dolores, but I couldn't imagine it
being done like this. She's
such an unlikable character.
I mean, I almost understand
why she did it all
- almost.
- But you gave her
such humanity, you
made her a real person.
I really appreciate it.
I had to really crawl inside her skin
to pull the rabbit out of this hat.
Ugh, let me tell you something,
this shit is heavy.
Gonna be ready to be
done with her real soon.
Done? This stuff is, like, blowing up.
I can't go a day without seeing
- 20 posts about the girl.
- Did you see that thing
this morning about the cafe in Taipei
serving human flesh dumplings?
Yes, yes, yes, yes, and
the human bone marrow
in that bistro in Paris.
- That's got to be her, right?
- Facts.
The real Dolores is still out there.
Mm-mm. No.
Ooh, car's here.
Are you coming to the "partay"?
Am I coming to the party? Of course.
I just have to wash
I just have to wash
- this blood.
- Congratulations.
You were so brilliant.
- Thank you for coming. Thank you so much.
- See you there.
- See you later. Thank you.
- I love you.
- Love you, too. Bye.
- Bye.
Ooh, don't be scared.
It's just me.
I'm not the monster you're
making me out to be, seriously.
I'm just like you,
if everything went wrong.
- I thought you were
- Dead?
Yeah, I know you did,
and that would be pretty
convenient for you, huh?
'Cause you're just
throwing my name around,
making me fucking famous
for all the wrong reasons.
Making everybody money,
except me.
Wh-What happened to your hand?
My hand?
I thought you crawled inside my skin.
You missed that part in
your little "research,"
are you gonna kill me?
I'm gonna tell you shit
you could never un-know.
Shit you can't wash off.
And then
you're gonna help me.
- I'm-I'm-I'm gonna help you?
- Yeah.
By setting the fucking record straight.
'Cause, see,
I was never some blood-hungry sociopath
people say I am.
I was just some chick
in Washington Heights.
Washington Heights, back in the day,
best years of my life.
You remember those years
after 9/11, when everybody
was trying to come
together and love and shit.
But it was still
Giuliani time, you know?
And the city was cracking
down hard on some of us.
There's your house in Hoboken, baby.
Dominic was the king of this block.
So, all right, you, uh,
you got some customers?
And for those five years,
I was his queen.
I loved that man so fucking much
I would've done anything for him,
and I did.
Antonio? You here?
Oh, can you just
stay right there, though, please?
Dominic said this guy's
gonna buy a shit ton of weed.
Hands in the air.
Dominic Arfonso.
I never heard of him.
- Dominic, can
- We're sorry.
You have reached a number that
has been disconnected or is no
If you feel you have
reached this recording in
- We're sorry.
- Dominic
- You have reached a number that has been disconnected.
- Dominic!
Sixteen years they locked my ass up.
Sixteen years
at New York State Correctional
for possession with intent
and assaulting a cop.
Sixteen years in a cell with a
handless masseuse from Philly.
My girl Tabitha.
And then, one morning, in 2019
they gave me back my clothes
that I was wearing when they took me.
They gave me $200 in gate
money and a train ticket.
And they dropped me off
at the train station,
like they're doing me a favor.
With all these suburban motherfuckers
who probably think I
deserved what I got.
This is the train to
Grand Central. Tickets.
- Tickets, tickets.
- Oh.
- Ah Yeah. Yeah, I got it.
- Tickets.
- Here.
- That's your receipt.
Oh, I'm sorry. Oh.
First stop in Manhattan,
Harlem-125th Street.
Harlem-125th Street.
Oh, my God.
My New York City.
So I start walking north
to the only place in the world
there might be a bed for me tonight.
'Cause I got no family left.
Both of my parents died
when I was still in school.
Dominic's the one who
took me in after that.
I mean, I know he
must've moved on by now,
but I protected his ass for 16 years.
He owes me a place to stay.
Here we go. Washington Heights.
What the fuck?
It's gentrified.
Okay, not totally gentrified.
If the closest thing to
family I had isn't here,
I'm gonna need a miracle.
What the fuck is this shit?
Hi. Hello? Hi, is-is, uh, Dominic there?
Does Dominic still live here?
Um, I don't know him. Sorry.
- I never used to mind these five flights in my 20s.
- Ugh. Okay
Hi. Look, I'm so sorry.
Um, I used to live here.
And I would have never
let nobody up, either.
This is totally inappropriate of me.
But I just got out of the country.
I've been out for 16 years,
and I'm just, like, praying
that my boyfriend might still live here,
or you might know Oh, hi.
- Hi, thanks.
- You don't know where your boyfriend lives?
I guess he's not my
boyfriend anymore, huh?
- Babe!
- It's fine.
- Babe, I got this.
- You know what? I'm so sorry.
So embarrassing.
But do you have, like, a tampon?
- Oh, uh
- Or anything, anything.
I'm just trying real hard
not to bleed on your floor out here.
No, no, no. Uh
- Thank you.
- Come on. Uh, it's just under
the-the sink in there.
Tile behind the toilet.
Please, God.
- Did you let in a fucking Jehovah's Witness?
- Shh!
Come on, come on.
I must've known it'd all be gone by now.
I'm not stupid.
But I had to see for myself.
There's your house in Hoboken, baby.
He left me to rot.
The one person I had left in the world.
You left me to rot.
You fucking
You fucking left me to fucking rot!
You left me to fucking you fucking
You left me to fucking rot.
Oh, my God.
Hey, are you okay in there?
Yeah, I'm okay. Yeah,
I'm-I'm okay, thank you.
I am not okay.
- So we were thinking
- I'm so sorry.
I think I had a little incident
with your shower curtain in there.
When did you move in here?
- To this place?
- Uh, last June.
Right. Uh, do you guys know
who used to live here before?
- Nope.
- What about the landlord?
Can I have the landlord's number?
- Mm, no. The building was sold about a year ago.
- Yeah.
- It's a different landlord now, so
- Yeah. Right. Okay.
We can't help you.
- Okay.
- Sorry.
I hope I didn't make you nervous.
I really don't want to be that person.
- Hey, sexy mami.
- Jesus Christ.
Oh, you're not gonna talk to me now?
'Cause I was gonna help you out.
Who you looking for?
- I'm looking for Dominic.
- Dominic?
Dominic who?
Dominic Arfonso.
You know, I've never seen
you around here before.
Well, I used to live right here
for five years with Dominic.
You say that like I know
who the fuck that is.
So what the fuck you ask me for, then?
He used to run this block,
that's who the fuck he is.
And he would have never let
anybody who worked for him
handle cash out in the
open like you just did.
I saw you do it.
You know what, do me a fucking favor.
Don't blow your smoke
in my face, please.
So you a bitch, huh?
- What the fuck you say to me?
- You're a fuckin' hard-ass bitch.
- Hey, motherfucker!
- Hey!
Do not give me a motherfucking reason
to go back to prison today. Don't do it.
Don't tempt me, you stupid motherfucker.
Shit, bitch!
You tried to light me on fucking fire.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
Fuck you, you stupid ass.
Nobody used to dare
fuck with me around here,
but now?
It's all gone.
Like a mirage in the desert,
Empanada fucking Loca!
Hey, hey, hey!
You don't see me here,
either? Shit. God!
Oh, Jesus!
I am so sorry, young lady. You okay?
"Young lady."
My dad used to call me young lady.
Well, mine would call me young man,
but only when I was in trouble.
I would take being in trouble
if I could see him right about now.
I know the feeling.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Welcome to Empanada Loca.
We got a special going on:
- three for five dollars.
- What?
Oh, God.
Shit, it's not called
Empanada Loca for no reason.
Can I help you?
Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm
so sorry. It's just
This is the first place
I've been that's still here,
and it's exactly the fucking same.
I know, it's so sad.
No! Oh, my God, my God,
there used to be, like,
people in here all the
time, lines around the block.
Shit, I missed this place.
Mm-hmm. Cute.
Damn, girl, you're tall.
You could be, like, a model.
Oh, here it is. Right
there, that's my favorite.
This one. Guava and
cheese. Oh, I love this one.
Can I have one, please?
Oh, here we go.
One eighty-five.
- Here you go.
- I can't break a 50.
- Oh, that's all I
- Is it even real?
Yeah, it's real. They
gave me $200 in 50s.
That's all I have. Uh, you really can't?
I just want to crawl
into a hole and die,
but I don't even have
a hole to crawl into.
Dolores Roach?
Holy fuck, it is you.
You're all grown up.
Oh, my God, Dolores Roach
in the fucking flesh.
It's been, like, forever, mami.
And, yo, mami, you ain't,
you ain't aged a day.
Nellie, Nellie, this fine
lady right here and I,
yo, we go back!
- Mm-kay.
- Yo, don't worry
about a thing, Dolores, I got you.
You know you have VIP access
at Empanada Loca para siempre.
Come on. Vente. Let's go!
Thank you.
Thank you.
- Wow.
- My pride and joy right there.
Mmm! My guava and cheese.
Same secret recipe since
my pops opened up this place
back in '87.
- Oh, what
- Oh
Uh, sorry, sorry, so sorry.
I forgot to warn you
about the splash zone.
- Guess it's not my day.
- Come on.
- When did you get out, anyway?
- That would be this morning.
You You just got out this morning?
And you, uh
You-you came right back here?
I know. Well, I guess
- You guess?
- I know, I thought
I just I thought
You thought, uh What did you think?
That I would crash with Dominic.
Do you know where he is?
I mean, uh, I ain't seen Dominic
since the last time I saw you.
Yeah, nah.
You know where he is?
No, I don't know.
That's why I just asked you.
I don't know where he is.
Well, I remember, like,
right after you went in,
I heard he had, like,
some kind of heart attack.
Oh, my God, what?
Then I also heard,
like, he moved to Oregon
to work at a fucking grow house.
So no one knows what
they're talking about.
They just know that he ain't here.
Goddamn it.
- Goddamn it!
- Hey, hey, hey, hey.
- It's okay. It's
- No, it's not okay.
I gave up 16 years of my
life to protect his ass.
And now we got these fucking
kids living in our apartment.
And all our money is gone.
Everything I saved up for five years.
And I don't got shit, Luis.
Are you in, like, a halfway house or
Halfway house? Shit, I wish.
You have, like, a parole
officer to check in with?
No, no. Parole? No, no parole.
I have fulfilled the
maximum requirements
of my determinate sentence.
So stick a fucking fork in me, I'm done.
Shit, man.
on the plus side,
you're not gonna get, like, drug tested?
Not drug tested.
Yo, Nellie!
Keep an eye on our customers
up here for a minute.
- Okay.
- Yo, come on.
I still live down in the basement.
Oh, shit, that's right.
He lives below the shop.
I remember this place.
Where's your pops?
Is he still the super here, too?
Oh, no, he, uh, he passed
away a few years back.
His kidneys shut down.
Aw, I'm sorry, Luis.
- I really liked that old guy.
- I appreciate that.
Sixteen years stolen just
for this fucking plant.
Here goes nothing.
Mmm, so this strain right here
is called Sour Apple Pop.
Whoa, shit. Sorry.
Yo, hold on. Hold on real quick.
- Oh, God.
- Don't worry, I got you.
I got you, I got you.
I think my lungs
lungs are out of practice.
- What? What happened?
- The water's out again.
Yo, I-I'm sorry, girl, it's fucking
The building got sold a few months back,
and the new landlord's, like,
fucking with my water and shit.
You're getting harassed
by your landlord?
- You got to move?
- Oh, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no. I'm good. I got a lease.
Yo, man, that weed is mad strong.
Yeah, 'cause it's that
medical-grade shit.
You still can't buy it
legally in New York yet,
so I found myself, like,
this, like, albino dude, right?
He gets his shit from a
dispensary in Colorado.
You kidding me?
Even the drug business got gentrified.
What was that? Oh, my God.
Jesus, what
Oh, God.
Thank you.
Yo, I swear to God
- I'm gonna kill this fucking guy.
- Who?
Who? The landlord, the
fucking piece of shit, man.
You know? This place has
always changed hands before,
but you know, it's never
been worth more than
what we were fucking paying, you know?
But now this area, this area
is, like, blowing the fuck up
- and shit, you know?
- How stoned is he?
- I could've taken fucking
- How stoned am I?
This place was an empanada
shop when I was born,
and it's gonna be an
empanada shop when I die.
Dude sounds nuts like my dad did
by his second whiskey.
But just like then, I
got nowhere else to go.
Oh, oh
Oh, my God, Luis, wha-wha-what's
the matter with you?
- I
- What do you Come on.
- No. Oh, my God.
- Oh, got all tingly.
- Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
- Let's sit down.
Relax, man.
That shit is strong.
- No, I think I'm having a panic attack.
- Okay. All right.
I'm having a fucking panic attack.
Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Your shoulders are jacked up.
So is your neck.
- What?
- Yo.
Your hands.
How you get so good at this?
Oh, shit.
Man, I've been giving
massages for commissary
for, like, a decade.
And I was in there
with some angry bitches,
let me tell you.
But not one of them I
couldn't turn into Jell-O.
They called me "magic hands."
- Magic Hands Dolores.
- Yeah.
I thought maybe that I could
do this, like, for real.
You know, like like be a
legit masseuse out here, you know?
Yeah. That-that sounds amazing, D.
You got a plan.
Well, my plan was to find Dominic.
'Cause he owes me a place to stay.
You know, at least he owes me that shit.
Yo, fuck that dude.
Why don't You could stay here.
Really? 'Cause I'm not gonna lie.
When I saw this couch, I thought that,
I could just, I could
crash here for, like,
- you know, tonight.
- Oh, no.
- You know, even on your floor.
- No, no, no. My dad's room
is just sitting there empty.
- You know?
- I don't I don't care.
- It's just sitting there empty.
- Listen, I got like, $200 in 50s.
- No, no, I wouldn't charge you no rent.
- I promise you that
- I'm gonna find a job, I swear to God.
- No, no, no. Stop.
- ASAP, I'm gonna find a job.
- Stop.
Dolores, stop.
All right?
You can have that room
for as long as you want.
You know, I could feed you, too.
Smoke you out. Huh? Nah, just kidding.
Or not.
You know, it'd be really nice
to have you around, Dolores.
So many people gone now.
You would really let me stay here,
just for a minute, for free?
I'm not letting you
I'm asking you to.
Why would you do that for me?
I miss you, Dolores Roach.
And I've been thinking
about you a whole lot.
If I had any other options right now,
that might creep me out.
with the door locked
It's a miracle.
This bedroom is where
Luis said his old man died.
But it feels sort of safe down here.
Like sort of safe.
Luis's pop's old shirts and shit.
And I get all curled up
thinking about Tabitha,
'cause this is about to be
my first night without her
in a very fucking long time.
And thinking about Dominic
the love of my life.
Thinking about Luis's dad
dying in this room peacefully.
Of course I had no idea
how many more people
were about to die in that room
maybe not so peacefully.
You coming to the party?
Yeah. Um
I'll meet you there.
You're such a good listener.
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