The Idol (2023) s01e05 Episode Script

Jocelyn Forever

MIKE DEAN: Let's roll the
vocals you did earlier.
- JOCELYN: Yeah.
- MIKE: Even though it's not the final, you know.
nobody what I told you ♪
Our secret that I own you ♪
I just wanna hold you ♪
And to feel you, baby,
deep under my skin still ♪
Lasted for a moment,
take it like you own it ♪
Say it ♪
Give me tough love ♪
Leave me with nothin'
when I come down ♪
My kinda love ♪
Force me and choke
me 'til I pass out ♪
We don't gotta be in love, no ♪
I don't gotta be the one, no ♪
I just wanna be one
of your girls tonight ♪
We don't gotta be in love, no ♪
I don't gotta be the one, no ♪
I just wanna be one
of your girls tonight ♪
Oh-oh-oh, ooh ♪
What if you came in with the same
melody that you do in the second verse?
You know, the song is about
you. Make it about you.
(SINGING) There's
just somethin' about ♪
Close out the fuckin' chapter.
- Yeah, getting what you need and being
- Bye-bye.
One of your girls tonight ♪

(ON RECORDING) Oh-oh-oh, ooh ♪
Joss, so good.
- One of your girls tonight ♪
Mm-mm, mm-mm-mm-mm ♪
Mm-mm, mm-mm ♪
Push me down, hold me down ♪
JOCELYN: Do we have that outro?
We should work on that outro.
'Cause I liked it. I just need to f
like, find a way to fit it in better.
(SINGING) I usually numb my
own pain when I'm with you ♪
Take me away from it all ♪
Sounds good, bring it back.
I wanna hear that part again.
JOCELYN: You know, I
think you should go.
You want me to leave?
You're gonna kick out
your only source of inspiration?
Well, you've served your purpose.
I don't think so.
Well, I'm sorry that you feel that way.
So, you wanna, you wanna kick me out?
You wanna, you wanna
cut off your lifeline?
You wanna turn the faucet off?
- Tedros!
- You wanna kill the soul in the room?
I'm done with you.
The song's about me.
Without me, no song.
- JOCELYN: It's actually about me.
- Oh, is it?
- JOCELYN: Yeah.
- Oh, it's, it's a self-portrait now?
Oh, you're just singin'
about yourself in this song?
- Is that what you're saying?
- I'm singing about my experiences,
my feelings, and what I've
been through and it's about me.
Aww, really? Yeah. Oh,
your feelings? Yeah, right.
- Hm.
- JOCELYN: Yeah, right.
Mike, did I ever tell you
about how I first met this guy?
- Sage, did I tell you this story?
- SAGE: No.
It's so funny. He, uh, knew this, like,
random backup dancer of mine,
and he saw that I
followed her on Instagram,
and he'd been, like,
obsessed with me for years,
like back when he was
in prison and stuff,
and, um, he had her,
like, bring me to his club.
And then he pointed me
out on the dance floor
- and he's like, "Is that Jocelyn? Oh, my God."
- That's not true.
JOCELYN: "You're here." It is true.
- TEDROS: That's not fucking true.
- JOCELYN: And, and we were dancing and stuff
and then when we started talking,
he was talking about "When Doves Cry,"
and Prince, and everything, 'cause
she must've told him that I had
this, like, huge poster
of Prince upstairs.
I'm the one that pointed that out.
I'm the one that pointed
out the coincidence.
You're a fucking con man and a fraud.
- MIKE'S ASSOCIATE: Ooh, shit.
- Oh, really?
JOCELYN: Yeah, and it was
this whole fuckin' setup.
This whole time, he had
this crazy fucking plan,
- and it worked, ya know?
- TEDROS: Fuck you, Jocelyn.
- It worked.
- That's some super LA shit.
Fuck you, Mike.
MIKE: Fuckin' vampire.
- TEDROS: It's bullshit.
- Chloe, when did, uh,
Tedros first bring me up?
Uh, I mean, he's been manifesting this
- for forever.
- What are you t Chloe, no, that's not true.
What the fuck you That's not true.
Not true.
You wanted to find a way into my life?
You wanted me to hear
your artists? I did.
I like them.
They can stay.
You, on the other hand, can go.
All right, we should work
on that outro, I think.
(SINGING) Somethin' about the
way that you give me your love ♪
Ohh ♪
Love, give me your love ♪
Ohh ♪
I just wanna sing that chorus again.
I keep going back to the
chorus 'cause it's so good.
LEIA: I'll wait for you here, Joss.
So, did she like the song?
She loved it.
LEIA: Joss, you have to get
up. Finkelstein is on the phone.
- What?
- He's on mute.
- What does he want?
- I-I don't know.
He just said, "Get her up."
You told him I was sleeping?
- Hey. How's it goin'?
(ON PHONE): Good, good.
But, uh, I have some
concerns about the tour
and I need to talk to
you about it face-to-face.
So, I'm gonna come by. I'm just in
a little bit of a meeting right now.
Gonna come by at one o'clock,
and we're gonna have a
chat, 'kay? See ya then.
Great. Can't wait Bye.
Um Joss, um, there's
something important
that I need to talk to you about.
Does it have anything
to do with the tour?
- No.
- Great. Nothing else matters to me right now.
All right, listen up!
- Get up. Get up. Get up.
- Come here.
- Wake up!
- Joss.
Guys! (CLAPS) Wake up. All right.
My entire team is
coming over at 1 P.M
- What?
- To dis
(DEEP BREATH) My entire
team is coming over at 1 P.M.
- TEDROS: What, you weren't gonna tell me?
- JOCELYN: To decide whether
or not the tour is moving forward.
- Don't ignore me.
- JOCELYN: Alright?
- What they don't know
- I'm right fuckin' here.
is I want Ramsey and Chloe
- TEDROS: Oh, you want?
- and Izaak Where's Izaak?
- Um, he's doing yoga.
- Okay, well, I want Ramsey,
and Chloe, and Izaak
to be my opening act.
TEDROS: Oh, you, you want them to
be your opening act? That's funny.
That's very funny. Wow Wow.
Are you still here?
TEDROS: Of course, I'm fuckin' here.
Alright, we have one shot.
Alright? One fuckin' shot.
We're gonna put on the best fucking
show they've ever seen. All right?
- Aye-aye, Captain!
- Shut the fuck up!
- Oh, shut the fuck up?
- Yeah, shut the fuck up.
Nobody's talking to you.
Well, you're talkin' to my people.
- They're an extension of me.
- JOCELYN: Tedros,
these are my fucking people now.
Oh, really? You just come
and you just swoop down
and you just fuckin' take it?
You are a sweaty, drunken,
fucking, pathetic mess.
I'm getting ready for my show.
- Alright?
- Our show.
Do you fucking understand?
They're gonna cancel this fucking tour.
All right? You're being a
fucking distraction right now.
I'm talking 'bout putting
on the greatest fucking show
they've ever seen. Are
we fucking ready for that?
- This is it.
The difference between me and him
is I can actually make you a star.
Xander come here.
Come here.
- What's up?
- You gonna let her do that to you?
- Huh?
- Do what?
You gonna let her fuckin' cut
you out of the fuckin' show?
Huh? Come on, Xander.
You're gonna let her fuckin'
walk all over you like before?
You have a fuckin' gift.
Don't fuckin' forget that, huh?
- Okay?
- Mm-hmm.
You're fuckin' talented.
I want the world to see it.
You gotta fuckin' take it, man.
You gotta take it by the
fuckin' balls. (SNORTS)
- Yeah, I can do that.
- All right, go sit down.
All right, so you heard
her, right? One o'clock.
These fucking bigwigs
are gonna get down here.
Let's fuckin' look good. Let's
clean this fuckin' place up.
Let's look sexy, right?
Bianca, I wanna see some
ass and fuckin' tits.
Don't forget, sex sells.
If they're giving you any
attention, you fuckin' lean into it.
If you gotta suck dick to
keep 'em here, keep 'em here.
All right, what are you guys
waiting for? Get up. Let's go.
Let's clean this fuckin' place up.
Come on!

ANDREW: He's like a
really hot Targaryen.
Is she opening an Abercrombie?
- NIKKI: Look.
- ANDREW: I don't really
- NIKKI: Hi. Hello.
- ANDREW: Hi. Yeah, we're coming.
- Nice to see you.
- CHAIM: How are you?
ANDREW: Thanks, can we open the
- Hey, D.
- ANDREW: What's going on?
- NIKKI: Where's Joss?
ANDREW: Are we overdressed?
What's going on here?
- Hi.
- IZAAK: Welcome home.
- Okay. Hello.
- IZAAK: So good to see you.
- You're even more beautiful in person.
- Oh, how lovely to meet you.
Oh, hey, hi. I guess we're hugging now.
- Gorgeous. Your face is so tight.
- (LAUGHS) Thank you.
Jocelyn. Where is she? She's in, uh
- 'Kay, she's in here. Okay.
- She's just
- It's so good to see you.
- I'm sorry, what was your name again?
- My name's Izaak with a "z."
- Izaak. Oh, Izaak with a "z."
- Yeah, lovely to meet you.
- Okay. I-I'm Nikki with two k's.
- Okay, Nikki with two k's. Have a seat.
- Yeah, and I'm Andrew
- CHLOE: Hello!
- Hello.
- Hi.
MITCH: What's goin' on?
- Jocelyn?
- Mitch. Nice to meet you.
- How you doin'?
- Good. Okay, we're huggin'.
Hi. Nice to meet you. Hey. Hi.
How are you? Thank you. Is Jocelyn
- MITCH: Nice to meet you.
Have a seat, have a seat, have a seat.
- Come on. Come on.
- Thanks, man. Hey. J-Jocelyn?
TEDROS: Yeah, yeah. She'll
be down. Have a seat.
ANDREW: She knows we're here, right?
Did you tell her Andrew
Finkelstein's here?
TEDROS: Of course,
she's here. Of course.
- Are you kidding me?
- Told her, right?
- You want a drink?
- No, I'm good. Thank you.
- Are you sure?
You guys want a drink? (YELLS) Bianca!
- Oh, my God!
- Whoa! Yeah.
- TEDROS: Drinks!
- I don't think she heard you.
- A little louder.
- You guys wanted fuckin' hits?
Look at this. I got you
fuckin' hits over here.
CHAIM: Hey, music to my fuckin' ears.
- Beautiful.
- CHAIM: You know? We want to hear it.
- Can I get you something?
- Okay. (LAUGHS)
Uh, sure. A water would be great.
- Thank you.
- How about you?
- A whiskey, please.
- BIANCA: You?
- DESTINY: Long Island Iced Tea.
- NIKKI: No, I'm fine, thank you.
Are you sure I can't suggest
something a little bit more fun?
No, it's 1:00 in the afternoon.
Water is very fun. Thank you.
(WHISPERS) Meet me upstairs.
Uh, oh, I'm sorry.
- This is Tedr Um, please, forgive me.
- All right, yeah. Uh
- Tedros, this is, um, uh, Fink and Nikki.
- Sorry Hello.
This is the producer I
was telling you about
- NIKKI: Hi.
- who's working with Joss.
I'm, I'm gonna text Jocelyn
'cause I don't really know
what's going on right now.
Look, I think it's critical
that if we're gonna be
working with each other,
that we're able to
trust each other, right?
- Yeah.
- And that there's no fuckin' Judas in the room.
- Oh, okay. So, I'm, I'm Judas in this
- That's right.
- That's right, I'm lookin' at you.
NIKKI: What? Dude, I've
never even met you before.
Exactly, and what you did
with Dyanne was fucked up.
I gave Dyanne a great deal.
No, you should've called me.
NIKKI: I'm really trying to
understand it, why would I
TEDROS: Let me help you understand.
You have no fucking taste.
NIKKI: Well, sometimes. Yes.
TEDROS: Uh-huh. You
have no imagination.
You know, you, you you have no vision.
- Okay.
- You know, you're just
You're just a fucking TikTok-obsessed
fucking algorithm cunt.
- NIKKI: Whoa. Okay, dude.
- That's a little cliche.
- He's got a point.
And that's a little bit the
pot calling the kettle black.
- Nikki, I've got
- TEDROS: Black, of course.
- NIKKI: Yeah, black.
- Guys, hey, listen.
Izaak, you hear that shit? Black, huh?
ANDREW: Hey, man, we're
gonna take it down a notch.
Reality is, in five minutes,
I'm gonna get up and leave,
and I'm gonna take the
whole fuckin' tour with me.
So, if there's someone
here from Clown World
who could go and get her for me,
I'd like to have a fucking
meeting that I came here for.
Otherwise, I'm outta here.
You got it.
I-I mean, is it just me
or does this whole thing
feel like some fucking cult?
Cult? It's a fuckin' NXIVM meeting.
I'm surprised they didn't
brand us on the way in.
Just sit tight because we're
gonna hear some good stuff.
ANDREW: No, this is weird even
by music business standards.
- (WHISPERS) What the fuck is this?
- Well, it's a little weird.
- She'll be down.
- 'Kay.
- TEDROS: We just
- Good. Four minutes.
TEDROS: We just got into a fight.
Are you sure this is gonna be all right?
I wouldn't bring you here
- if it's about to be some bullshit.
- All right.
Um, Chloe, can you do me a favor?
Would you mind singing that song
that you were working on with Tedros?
- "Like A God"?
- Yeah.
TEDROS: Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah. Go 'head, Chloe.
What are we doing?
- I'm-I'm out, I'm out.
- TEDROS: Shh.
- No, no, no. Nikki, Nikki, Nikki, Nikki.
- Shh.
What is this, fuckin' "Star Search"?
(SINGING) Watches over like a god ♪
I'm I'm out.
Makes you hurt again so
you can heal and say amen ♪
We will change for you ♪
Chaim, I mean, she's talented,
but so was the fuckin'
banjo boy in "Deliverance."
I mean, what are we doing?
Ah, ah-ah-ah, oh ♪
Ooh, ohh ♪
To get the pain out, you
have to let him make you cry ♪
I know you're scared ♪
- Boom.
- Like a god in the sky ♪
Would I ever lead you astray?
I mean, my God.
- She's fuckin' good.
- I She is good.
I give her five stars.
Fantastic. I feel like
fuckin' Ed McMahon over here.
- Like a god ♪
- Let me listen, let me listen.
- Hey, I'm listening.
You know, I'm listening to the fuckin'
sound of my bank account draining again.
- Ooh ♪
- ANDREW: There's somethin' fuckin' wrong here.
Are we at fucking Hunter Biden's house?
What the hell is going on here?
If you shut the fuck
up you would hear that
this girl's incredible, yeah?
Oh, you know, she is incredible.
Do you know who else
was really talented?
Charles Manson. You
know what else he did?
He moved into Dennis Wilson's house
and lived there for a year and a half.
They had to fuckin' tear out the walls
'cause there was so much pubic lice
in the fucking wood paneling.
That's what's happening here.
I can fuckin' see the crabs
crawling around on the floor.
Is there a moment in your life
you're not fuckin' talking?
Shut the fuck up.
He is coming ♪
And he will find her ♪
He will fix her ♪
To make us better, better ♪
Ooh ♪
- LEIA: Rob, I
- ROB (ON PHONE): There is nothing
more important than this,
Leia. I'm fucking serious.
- My entire life is getting destroyed.
- LEIA: No, Rob, Rob, I
I'm trying to get her to talk to you.
It's just, like, insane
at the house today.
- ROB: Okay, but, Leia
- Everyone is here right now.
There's, like, 40 people at the house
and they're, like, jamming out.
I Or s I don't know
ROB: I don't give a fuck, Leia.
I don't give a fuck.
I'm telling you, I didn't rape anyone
at Jocelyn's house. I didn't do this.
I know, I know, I know
you're not a rapist!
- I know.
- ROB: Yeah, okay, but I need Jocelyn
to go on record and clear this up.
I mean, I met this girl really briefly
at the bottom of the fucking steps
when Xander asked me
to take a fucking photo.
LEIA: Wait, what do you mean
Xander asked you to take a photo?
ROB: He literally was like,
"Hey, my friend's a
fan. Can I take a photo?"
And then this girl just
jumped in my fucking lap,
and now she's going to the
press saying I raped her?
And she has witnesses?
- Leia!
- I'm gonna call you back.
CHLOE: Like a god ♪
JOCELYN: I'm so happy you
guys got to hear Chloe.
- Oh, I know.
- Isn't she fucking incredible?
- Incredible.
- She's a part of my opening act.
- Oh, great!
- Xander, Xander.
Can you step out with me
for just, like, a second?
Step out with you?
Yeah, can we just step out?
I-I have to tell you something.
No, I'm not fucking stepping
Yeah, I know, but it's an emergency.
ANDREW: Just a quick
conversation in private
- without the other
- JOCELYN: I want you to hear Izaak
because Izaak is going to blow you away.
Okay, I Can
I'm happy to hear him.
Maybe we'll just do it after.
- Can you just please
- Shut the fuck up.
ANDREW: But I'm just
a little bit worried
I just wanna make sure that you're
in a good place
because if No matter how good he
JOCELYN: I know you're
anxious, all right?
- We always do this.
- Mm-hmm.
I'm here to calm you down.
I'm a Jew. I'm anxious. It's in my DNA.
Look at me, everything
is going to be fine.
Hey. Psst, psst. Get outta here.
- MITCH: Get the fuck out!
- It's not We
I want you to listen to Izaak,
and I promise you, everything
is going to be fine. Okay?
- Okay I will.
- Sit and enjoy. I'm so happy you're here.
- Okay?
- I'll enjoy. All right. Sitting.
- Jocelyn, Jocelyn.
- ANDREW: We're listening to Izaak.
- Jocelyn.
- Stop.
Hey, baby ♪
Ooh, ahh ♪
Ooh, ahh ♪
I don't know what
you still want me for ♪
You've seen a lot, but
you could see some more ♪
Look at this shit. This
guy's a fuckin' god.
CHAIM: I mean, come on. The
talent is fuckin' undeniable.
- DESTINY: Exactly. Sex sells.
- ANDREW: No, he's amazing,
but, mentally, I'm still
Some questions about her stability.
I gotta be honest, I'm
not terribly convinced
after the last 20 minutes.
I fucking love Joss,
but you wanna tell me that girl's sane?
Absolutely. Look, she's out there.
She's had problems, we all know,
but she's gonna fuckin' deliver.
Look at this! Look at this.
- ANDREW: I'm looking at it.
- Joss.
CHAIM: This is what puts the asses
in the seats in the arenas.
- Look, I
- You don't see this shit normally.
You know, fuckin'
Kanye was filling arenas
until he decided to start
following Adolf Hitler.
- Ooh, it feels so right ♪
I don't wanna fight ♪
CHAIM: Come on. Oh, my God.
Here, ahh ♪
- ANDREW: It's work, it's working.
- I'm just gonna lay down.
You don't get it before ♪
Don't get it before ♪
This woman gave up on sex.
This guy is like He's actually
- Cobwebs are cleaning out.
- He is very special.
ANDREW: Jesus, where
did you find this guy?
Ah ♪
- You don't get it before ♪
- I'm sorry.
Stop looking at me.
- Yeah, he can sing like a motherfucker.
- Bro, where'd they
MIKE: Well, he's fuckin'
dry humpin' this bitch.
- No shit, right?
- They don't do showcases like this in Texas.
Maybe Atlanta.
- Break it down ♪
- Thank you.
- For ya, yeah ♪
- That's I
Spell it (RIFFS) out ♪
For (RIFFS) ya ♪
- CHAIM: Yeah!
- And I won't just reroute, (RIFFS) ooh ♪
- Yeah!
- Did you hear that riff?
- Oh!
I haven't seen shit
like this since Prince.
That motherfucker has
the soul of Prince.
- And this motherfucker is in the living room.
- I mean, look at him.
Nobody knows who this kid is.
- But you do.
- Joss! What, are you kidding me?
- Did I tell you?
- Oh, my God!
- You don't get it before ♪
- ANDREW: I thought he was just your doorman.
- Woo!
Xander, Xander.
Will you step out with me after this?
- Literally in the middle of a showcase.
- LEIA: Can you just I know.
- It's really important. I know
- Can you please fucking relax for one second?
You're so annoying. Fucking Christ.
- And they're completely different.
- Yeah, I know. They're a trio.
- I know.
- Imagine this on a fucking stage.
- CHAIM: Yeah!
- Amazing!
- JOCELYN: Izaak!
Ya know, we might have
to reupholster the couch.
I think we got some snail
trails goin' on over here.
Xander, please, can you just
come here for just one second?
- Please.
- What?
- I'm sorry, I'm sor
- What's wrong?
- Oh.
- You okay?
- Um, yeah, I'm, I'm fine.
- Ya sure?
Um, sorry, can we just talk
alone for a second, please?
No, Mitch is family.
Okay, um, Rob has been
accused of sexual assault,
and, um, the news is about to go public.
Oh, no.
He's got that huge movie coming out.
JOCELYN: We have a
couple more surprises.
- CHAIM: There's more?
- Ramsey. Ramsey's up next.
- DESTINY: There's another one.
- There's more? We have more?
- Really, another one?
- Yeah.
- I've been trying to tell Jocelyn,
and I-I can't get her to listen to me.
What, you think she doesn't
already know about this?
You think that she knows?
XANDER: There's a reason she
hasn't answered his calls.
Yeah, but, I mean, I don't think
Rob would do something like that.
You don't think people are capable
of hiding who they really are?
You walked in the room
made my eyes light up ♪
What could I do to
make your eyes wider ♪
Something came down to me ♪
Said that boy belongs to me ♪
Told me to cast a
spell and do it well ♪
Make my way to the bar ♪
- DESTINY: Isn't she crazy?
- CHAIM: This is three for three.
- DESTINY: I know.
- All of them are unsigned?
None of these kids are signed.
- None of them are fuckin' signed.
- Not a one.
- How is that possible?
- DESTINY: He found them.
- Tedros found them.
- ANDREW: Scarface Miyagi over here found them?
I mean, the guy can barely
put a sentence together.
- NIKKI: You did this?
- Hm?
- You did this?
- Yeah. This is
I mean, it's amazing.
- She may She
- You may not believe it,
but she's tryna take
all the credit for it,
- but this is
- NIKKI: I know.
TEDROS: These are my,
these are my babies.
I can see it. I know it's you.
- You can?
- Yeah, I know. This is incredible.
It's a fuckin' treasure trove of talent.

- Yeah!
- ANDREW: I'm tellin' you,
on stage in a fucking show?
- I don't believe this.
- We need to bottle this for the fuckin' tour.
I don't know, somehow, we see eye-to-eye
even though you're fucked up.
- You know what?
- Okay. Yeah.
- Are you a little loaded? And I'm not judging.
- No.
- No? Uh-huh.
- No.
I'm so high right now, I don't know what
- the fuck is goin' on.
- Bruh, high?
Look at that dude over there.
He's sweatin' like a whore in church,
and he looks like it's,
like, day three or four.
Like, he was just yellin' at that bitch,
and now he's over there,
like, havin' a conversation.
I don't trust anybody
with a rattail like that.
That's good shit.
- Yes!
- CHAIM: Three for three!
- Okay Yeah.
- RAMSEY: Any second now ♪
- Uh, this is not
- Any second now ♪
- We got a little ring.
- Any second now ♪
- Watch my face melt ♪
- CHAIM: You're amazing.
You're amazing!
You're amazing!

They're like this.
If he really found these people,
he's legitimately a genius.
You know, we might have
to tour with a paramedic
- to fuckin' jab him with an adrenaline shot
- Look, I-I don't know
that it's all Tedros. Not all him.
I mean, Jocelyn's been mentoring
these people, nurturing them.
Without her, none of
this would be happening.
(WHISPERING) I know that
Jocelyn didn't do this.
You did it.
This has you all over it,
and these people are gonna fuck you up
because they wanna believe
that it's just Jocelyn.
- TEDROS: They do.
- I know, they'll fuck you over.
I noticed that. They just
They won't even acknowledge.
What I know is I need you
to bring me this good shit.
Fuck Nikki.
We do this shit on our own.
- Okay.
- I'm tired of givin' shit to them.
I was here all by my fuckin' self
with these fuckin' kids.
I ain't givin' this shit to Nikki.
Look, let's work together.
Don't mess with Chaim,
don't mess with Destiny.
Just, let's work together.
No offense, ya know, it's
not about the politicking
and the fuckin' propagandas
and all that shit.
- This is real art, you know?
- That's what I keep saying.
- That's what I keep telling people.
- It's not about what you say, though.
You gotta, you gotta have balls.
- I've got balls.
- You got balls?
I got balls.
Have you made the
inroads already with them?
I know they mamas, they dog's name.
I know the one kid's
favorite fuckin' ice cream.
- DESTINY: We in pocket.
NIKKI: You're brilliant
You're brilliant.
You're a little loaded,
but you're brilliant.
And I'm telling you
I wanna work with you
after you called me a cunt
because you're not wrong.
- Wait, you are a cunt?
- Yeah, but I can be your cunt.
- Come on!
- DESTINY: Yeah, you like that.
- CHAIM: One after the other.
Are you crazy? How could
you keep this from me?
- Unbelievable.
Wait, wait. I just got something
in my phone about R-Rob?
You Didn't you used
to date a Rob Turner?
- What?
- NIKKI: Rob Turner. Ya know, he, he was that
sexy superhero actor guy
Jocelyn used to sleep with.
- ANDREW: What about him?
- NIKKI: Well, he, he was just accused of rape.
- What?!
- NIKKI: Yeah, apparently, he raped a woman.
I-I mean, a very well-endowed woman.
- ANDREW: Wait, let me see. Let me see.
- NIKKI: Yeah.
JOCELYN: Wait, let me see. Let me see.
CHAIM: We gotta keep Joss outta this.
Oh, shit.
NIKKI: That's a W
Oh, wait. Oh, my God.
This is what I love about
Hollywood. All right, listen.
Um, "The recent allegations
about Rob Turner's behavior
are not aligned with the
values we hold as a company.
We would like to make clear
to all of the fans out there
that Rob Turner's face appears
in less than 5% of the film.
And to ensure that his
actions cannot do more harm,
we have taken the necessary
steps of digitally replacing him.
We won't let one individual's behavior
derail the work of thousands.
And so we plan to continue forward
with our summer release strategy."
I We are in the
wrong fucking business.
Do you know how many singers
whose face I just wanted
to fuckin' switch out?
Not you. You have a face
like an angel, honey.
- But some of these girls are like a catcher's mitt.
- What evidence do they have?
Well, I mean, you saw the girl, right?
Was he ever weird with you, though?
- No.
- TEDROS: I've heard stories.
- NIKKI/ANDREW: You have?
- Like what?
- Things.
- JOCELYN: Like what kind of things?
Like violent things.
- DESTINY: What the fuck?
- CHAIM: Did you hear about this?
- No, I didn't hear about this shit.
- (SOFTLY) Go.
DESTINY: Rob was fine.
He was real commercial.
XANDER: Guys. Hello?
I was kinda thinking that, um,
m-maybe I should sing something?
- ANDREW: Yeah.
- CHAIM: (LAUGHS) You're gonna join the hit parade?
XANDER: Why the fuck not, right?
- ANDREW: Tough act to follow, but.
- CHAIM: Yeah.
Fuck yeah, let's hear it.
TEDROS: Yeah, this is gonna be great.
ANDREW: Wait, is it
Don't tease me here 'cause
- This is your song.
Oh, I love this song.
CHAIM: Joss, did you plan this?
Well, we decided to put on a show.
- My sweet Lord ♪
- DESTINY: Goddamn.
- CHAIM: Oh, come on.
- Woo!
Oh, my Lord ♪
- CHAIM: Are you kidding?
- ANDREW: Fuckin' chills.
- Mm, my Lord ♪
- DESTINY: He's still got it.
I really wanna see you,
I really wanna be with you ♪
I really wanna see you, Lord ♪
But it takes so long, my Lord ♪
My sweet Lord ♪
You think I don't know you did this?
- My, my, my Lord ♪
- What?
Because you're small, and
you're petty, and you're jealous.
- Fuck you.
- Really wanna know you ♪
- Do you see this?
- Hmm?
- Really wanna go with you ♪
- That's not good.
I really wanna show you, Lord ♪
But it won't take long, my Lord ♪
Oh, no thank you. I'm good.
- No, I'm fine.
- Really wanna see you ♪
I'm really Yeah, I'm fine.
- I'm just gonna watch from here.
- I really wanna see you ♪
Get on your fuckin' feet!
He didn't fucking rape Sophie.
That's a fucking ugly thing to say.
Sophie's a good girl.
Get out of my house.
You don't mean that.
Get out.
- I'm not leaving.
- Then I'll call the cops.
- Then I'll keep you hostage.
- Then they'll fucking kill you.
Not before I fucking
kill you first, bitch.
I really wanna go with you ♪
I really wanna show you, Lord ♪
But it won't take long, my Lord ♪
Hare Krishna ♪
Aren't you proud of Xander?
It's a miracle. He got his voice back.

Pay him whatever the fuck he wants
to get out of my life forever.
Say no more. Say no more.
Oh, my, my Lord, Hallelujah ♪
Oh, my, my Lord, Hare Krishna ♪
- Hallelujah, my sweet Lord ♪
- Hare Krishna ♪
- Come here, come here. You all right, man?
- Yeah.
- You look like you had a little rough night or something.
- You okay?
- TEDROS: No, no, no. I'm good, I'm good.
- CHAIM: All right.
- My sweet Lord, Hare Krishna ♪
- ANDREW: Wow, wow.
- NIKKI: Xander!
- ANDREW: Xander.
- NIKKI: My God.
- When's the last time you read
the "Little Red Riding Hood"?
When I was a kid in school.
I read it to my little
daughter the other night.
It's a fucking crazy story.
ANDREW: I-I know I'm
stating the obvious here,
- but if you guys performed on stage together
- DESTINY: Oh yeah.
fans' heads would literally explode.
Fink, you are always one step ahead.
Xander's gonna open for me.
- Are you fuckin' serious?
- Yeah, of course, he is.
ANDREW: (LAUGHS) People are gonna
This is gonna be the tour
of the fuckin' century.
This is incredible.
- I mean, this is amazing.
Love you.
ANDREW: Amazing.
Fink, we actually have one
more, uh, performance for you.
Mike, would you mind putting
your chair right there?
Oh God I always get nervous
when there's a chair in
the middle of the room.
CHAIM: I mean, you remember
there's this big bad wolf, yeah?
And he, uh, eats the grandmother,
and he eats the little girl,
so he's really fuckin'
happy with himself
'cause he thinks he won, yeah?
But, uh, you remember what happens next?
- No.
- Well, I didn't either.
CHAIM: Well, there's this
hunter that walks by
and he hears really loud
snoring coming from the house.
He figures, "Ooh, I better
check on the old lady."
So, he opens the door
and he looks inside.
What do you think he sees in there?
- I don't fuckin' know.
- Well, he sees the big bad wolf asleep
on the grandma's bed.
I mean, like, he fuckin' owns the house.
He can't believe it,
so he takes his shotgun, yeah,
sticks it right between the wolf's eyes,
and he's just about to pull the trigger.
He's gonna do it. And
he stops, he realizes,
"Whoa, wait a minute.
The grandma might still
be alive in there."
So, he takes a scissors instead.
He jams it into the wolf's
guts and snip, snip, snip.
So, he keeps ripping the wolf
open, the wolf's screaming.
He don't care. Out comes the grandma
and Little Red Riding
Hood, they're holding hands.
And there's not a
scratch on their bodies.
Thank God. So now's when
the story gets really weird.
'Cause Little Red Riding
Hood gets this brilliant idea.
- Every day will be perfect ♪
So, the hunter and Little Red
Riding Hood take these big rocks,
and they stick it into the wolf's
belly, and they sew it closed.
Okay? So, when the
wolf tries to run away,
he fuckin' bleeds out
right in front of them.
Just, bang! Drops dead on the floor.
Am I playin' all right now, Daddy ♪
Am I, am I ♪
CHAIM: Now, you gotta keep in mind,
I'm reading this to my
five-year-old daughter, hm?
She says to me, "Daddy,
when you heard this story,
you were a little boy.
Were you scared?" I said, "No."
She said, "Why not?"
So, I look her right
in the eye and I said,
I am the hunter."
Somewhere ♪
In some other lifetime ♪
Am I, am I ♪
Am I playin' all right now, Daddy ♪
I roam free ♪
Strutting down my
own, play it my way ♪
No kings, no slaves ♪
But right now ♪
You got me in a chokehold,
headlock, blindfold ♪
Don't stop, I don't need to see ♪
Have your way with me ♪
Keep me in the dollhouse ♪
Dressed up, perfect, messed up ♪
Friendly as can be
have your way with me ♪
Just prop me with my head high ♪
Doll house, dressed up ♪
Perfect, messed up ♪
Torture me with sleep,
paint the air I breathe ♪
Fishbowl, chokehold,
clear water, I'm full ♪
- Whoa, whoa.
- Perfect as can be ♪
Have your way with me ♪
Somewhere ♪
Come on, man.
On some other timeline ♪
There's no price on me ♪
Nothing to compete with,
pray for, no games, no war ♪
I lay down every night at sunset ♪
Glowing, fairytale, knowing ♪
Doll house, dressed
up, perfect, messed up ♪
Torture me with sleep,
paint the air I breathe ♪
Fishbowl, chokehold ♪
Clear water, I'm full ♪
Dirty as can be,
have your way with me ♪
CHAIM: So, I believe people
should be paid for their work.
$500,000 for you, Mauricio Jackson.
For this, you get the
fuck out of our lives.
We don't hear from you,
we don't see you, nothing.


TEDROS: You're tryna buy your girl back?
You know, I went to
prison for this shit.
Am I, am I ♪
Am I playin' all right now, Daddy ♪
- Am I, am I ♪
- She's worth so much more than money.
Am I playin' all right now, Daddy ♪
- Am I, am I ♪
Am I playin' all right now, Daddy ♪
CHAIM: Okay, well now we go to plan B.
I fuckin' love plan B.
I prefer it. (LAUGHS)
What do you think? Are you excited?
That was fucking fire.
I wish I'd brought a change of shorts.
- Are you fucking kidding me?
I just wanna say, as your fan,
that is one of the most
fucking incredible songs.
It was so raw, and honest,
and beautiful, and fucking hot.
Now, I was so worried when
you threw out the whole album.
Thank God. You had to go through it.
This is the best fucking music
that's ever poured out of you.
And I swear to God, the
pain you went through,
everything with your mom, all of it,
it all fuckin' led you to right here.
As a parent figure, I fucking
couldn't be more proud of you.
- It's so beautiful. Oh, my God.
- And yeah, uh, s-suffice to say,
suf-suffice to say, the tour is back on.
- I'm not sure, not sure if you got that by now.
- It was amazing, all of you guys.
Really, you're incredible, all of you.
I'm gonna take a cold shower
and finish my nine holes.
You guys are fuckin'
brilliant. Thank you, guys.
- Uh, I don't know what happened to
- Thank you.
Tetris or Super Mario Brothers,
or wherever he is, but please,
please tell him, uh, bye for me.
NIKKI: All right, you
guys, I'm outta here.
You guys are it. You're it.
There's nobody else. Bye.
IZAAK: Fuck yeah.
- DESTINY: I'm so, so proud of you.
- I'm so happy. (SIGHS)
- You should be.
We're going on tour.
We're going on tour.
- Fuck yeah.
He's done.
- How much did you have to pay him?
- A lot.
- Do you mind if I just have a minute?
- Oh, yeah, yeah.

Dyanne, I have to tell you.
Here at Magistrate Records,
we are so proud of all your hard work
- and you continue to amaze us.
- Thank you.
But there's been a bit
of a, um, mm a hiccup.
Uh, one of the writers
(CHUCKLES) This guy. Uh,
there's a legal problem.
What do you mean?
Uh well.
(SIGHS) We're going to have to
hold the release of the song.
But you said I have a
full team of legal support.
Right, and we want this
resolved as much as you do,
but right now, we've done all we can.
So, I mean if anything,
this is good inspiration. (CHUCKLES)
I mean, why don't you try writing
a song of your own in the meantime?
You want me to write a
song about a legal issue
for my first single?
Well, I'm just throwing ideas out there.
but yeah, that, that is
(CHUCKLES) what I mean.
I mean, Dyanne, we got you.
You're a star and we're
gonna make you a star.
All right. Well thank you so much.
And, uh, we will reach out
and I will see you soon.
It was Jocelyn, wasn't it?

TRAINER: There we go
there we go. Let's go!

When's your story due?
Well, you might wanna fuckin' hold it.
'Cause I got a bigger story for you.
My girl's in a lotta trouble,
and, uh, I could use your help.
I'm listening.


FAN: (SCREAMS) I love you!

That's my family ♪
- We don't like each other very much ♪
Oh, I'm okay with that ♪
But it breaks my mother's heart ♪
Ohh, ooh ♪
Ahh, ooh ♪
Ooh ♪
ANDREW: You know, I'm telling
you, there's a gold mine
in mental illness.
This thing is worth a fortune.
Just I'm fuckin' serious.
Look at Jocelyn. All you
have to do is admit it,
- and then people feel sorry for you.
- All I know is, uh, we sold out.
She dropped three hit
singles in six fuckin' weeks,
and we're about to turn all those
beauties into global superstars.
Hey, I'm not fuckin' complaining.
That's paid off for me.
NIKKI: Yeah, don't pretend
like you weren't scared, Fink.
- Never.
- NIKKI: Really?
Your employees stage a walkout claiming
Jocelyn's music's misogynistic
and you weren't scared?
Walkout? Seventeen retards
and 200 journalists. That's a walkout?
This whole fucking circus.
I mean, it had to be worth,
what, like, 200 million
- in free advertising.
- At least.
No, "Fill The Void" jumped
8,000% just that day.
Nikki, when's the last time
you sold out the whole
tour in three weeks?
- ANDREW: Dude, I'm telling
- Three weeks!
Chaim, that's how we got the stadium.
With all the, the fuckin' taarof,
- it's actually a really inspiring story.
- ANDREW: Yeah.
And most importantly,
- that psychopath is out of our lives for good.
- Oh, yeah.
- Got rid of him.
- Oh, my God. That fucking gonif.
The fucking guy was like herpes.
We couldn't even fucking get rid of him.
- CHAIM: Tell me about it.
- ANDREW: Do you know who
fuckin' did it, your fuckin'
- sniper Talia.
- NIKKI: That's right.
ANDREW: That fuckin'
"Vanity Fair" article
- NIKKI: Talia is hot.
- took his ass out.
- NIKKI: I love her.
- ANDREW: Dude, the quotes
- NIKKI: That's right.
- from the hookers
he used to pimp out.
The one girl he used to fuckin
I didn't think he had it in him.
- Hi. Um.
My name is Tedros.
I was wondering if, um
Jocelyn left an artist pass for me?
Um Tedros.
So, that's, that's T-E-D?
- R-O-S? Um.
So, yeah, there's nothing on our end.
Could it be under a different name?
- (THROUGH SPEAKER) Mauricio Jackson?
- Um.
- Mauricio Jackson.
- M-A-U
With the eyes of a big blue sea ♪
ALL (SINGING): That's my family ♪
- CHLOE: Ooh ♪
- ALL: That's my family ♪
EMPLOYEE: I have something
for Mauricio, so
You have a great night, Mr. Jackson.
Thank you.
- You know he lost his club?
- ANDREW: That fuckin'
- guy lost everything.
- Yeah, good. I mean, thank God
- he lost his club.
- Even his rattail they took.
NIKKI: (CHUCKLES) I mean, the thing is,
he actually has really
great taste in music.
I mean, look at all these
great artists he gave us.
ANDREW: But you know
what? What's fucked up,
he fuckin' sold out this
stadium in a weird way.
So, maybe, you know, we
should send him a t-shirt.
Fuckin' Holly saw a thing on "TMZ."
The IRS is goin' after him now.
- NIKKI: Oh, yeah.
- ANDREW: For what, I don't know.
NIKKI: But did you see the
music video he made in 2011?
20 No, he was still, he
was still rapping. (LAUGHS)
ANDREW: The one he shot in the
parking lot of a Carl's Jr.?
CHAIM: You know he was
fuckin' working there.
- NIKKI: Wait, Carl's Jr.?
CHAIM: Employee of the month twice.
NIKKI: No, stop it.
NIKKI: I love Talia.
But seriously, that
motherfucker was Keyser Soze.
- How did she find that shit out about him?
- I-I don't know.
Uh, she's a good
journalist. I don't know.
NIKKI: Yeah, Chaim.
Don't What do you want?
- Geez, don't look at me.
What, you don't believe, uh, people
can be good journalists anymore?
Very fuckin' cynical, even for you two.
Tove me ode, Chaim.
Tove me fuckin' ode.
You guys
we ruined him.
- Ruined.
- We fucking
We fuckin' ruined him. (LAUGHS)
- TEDROS: Jocelyn's room?
- SECURITY GUARD: What's up, man?
- TEDROS: What's goin' on, man? Um
- SECURITY: Yeah, what's up?
TEDROS: Just here to
see J uh, Jocelyn.
- SECURITY: Who are you?
- TEDROS: Tedros.
SECURITY: Tedros? Tedros who?
TEDROS: Just Tedros. She knows me.
SECURITY: Let me go check with Jocelyn.
- She's expecting me.
- Yeah.
- (SOFTLY) Yeah.
- I hear you, man.
TEDROS: Look, man I got the
fuckin' artist pass here
- She said she never heard of you, man.
- What's that?
- She said she never heard of you.
- GUARD 2: Never heard of you.
Said she ain't ever heard
that name Tetro before.
Tetro, you gotta go.
Aw, man. I'm fuckin' with
you, man. Go on up in there.
- Go on up in there.
- You're okay, man.
- Look at you.
- GUARD 3: Do that little smooth walk you do, man.
Hurry up, Don Juan.
Your suit blindin' me.
Sit down.
They put you through the wringer.
Listen, I don't give
a fuck about your past.
I don't give a fuck
about anybody's past.
Let's call a spade a
motherfuckin' spade.
You are and were a pimp.
It is what it is.
We all gotta do what
we gotta do to survive.
But the question is, what
are you going to do now?
I am not like these other bitches.
If you muff up
and you hurt her
I will hunt you down like
the motherfuckin' dog you are.
And I will kill you.
On God.
Enjoy the motherfuckin' show.

I'm really glad you came.
- I missed you.
- I missed you, too.
None of this means as much without you.

(WHISPERS) I don't like being apart.

Did you say this was the
brush your mom beat you with?

It's brand new.



(ON MIC) Hello, angels.
I'm so happy to be here in LA.
My home with all of you.
- My family.
- Jocelyn! Woo!
- Woo!
- Woo!
- Fuck yeah!
I've had a tough year.
This world can be a cruel
and unforgiving place.
And there were moments
when I didn't know
if I was gonna make it.
But then I thought of you
and your grace.
Tonight is incredibly special
because I have the opportunity
to introduce you to the love of my life.
Wait, what?
The man who pulled me
through the darkest hours
and into the light.
will you please join us?
I want you to meet my family.

You're mine forever.
(WHISPERS) Now go stand over there.

That just happened, right?
- How do we get rid of this fucker?
- How the fuck should I know?
Fuckin' fuck!
Mama taught her how to please ♪
Daddy begged them not to leave ♪
But they drove to the City of Angels ♪
Mama knows baby girl gonna be famous ♪
Mama died after fallen dream ♪
Suicide made her tabloid queen ♪
She's alone, the
city gonna break her ♪
There's no one, there's
no one to save her ♪
Oh, he watches over like a god ♪
Makes you hurt again ♪
So you can heal and say amen ♪
We will change for
you, we will cry for you ♪
We will pay for you ♪
Give our lives to you, oh-oh-oh ♪
Oh-oh-oh ♪
Oh-oh-oh ♪
Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh ♪
We will change for you ♪
We will cry for you ♪
We will pay for you ♪
Give our lives to you, oh-oh-oh ♪
Baby boy was doing petty crimes ♪
Twenty-five, he was serving time ♪
He would dream of the City of Angels ♪
He was born to entertain us ♪
'tain us, 'tain us ♪
At his core, he's just a jealous guy ♪
Many woman fallin' for his lies ♪
He's alone ♪
The city gonna break him ♪
'Cause there's no one,
there's no one to save him ♪
Oh-oh-oh ♪
She watches over like a god ♪
Makes you hurt again ♪
So you can heal and say amen ♪
We will change for you ♪
We will cry for you ♪
We will pay for you ♪
Give our lives to you, oh-oh-oh ♪
Oh-oh-oh ♪
Oh-oh-oh ♪
Oh-oh-oh-oh, ohh ♪
We will change for you ♪
We will cry for you ♪
We will pay for you ♪
Give our lives to you ♪
We will change for you ♪
We will cry for you ♪
We will pay for you ♪
End our lives for you, oh-oh-oh ♪
Oh-oh-oh ♪
Oh-oh-oh ♪
Oh-oh-oh-oh, ohh ♪
We will change for you ♪
We will cry for you ♪
We will pay for you ♪
Give our lives to you, oh-oh-oh ♪
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