The L Word s03e08 Episode Script

Next victim.
Yeah, that looks really good! Look at you two! Another couple of dykes of my two tatts.
I'd rather see you by yourself.
I like you a lot! I'm changing myself from female to male.
Does Jenny know? She's been shooting me up with it.
How does that feel? It's better than the first time! Hey, won't you get in trouble for that? Big sister over at the chimo clam bag.
I'm not gonna have I'm not gonna have this shit! I'm talking to you, Billy! It's time for me to go.
Why can't you just leave me the fuck alone? You're not a fucking nurse! You're not my mother! You're not anything! I don't know If i can if i can live without you.
Alice You can.
I can'tI can't I gotta go.
I have to go.
I have to go.
Pull overPull over into the park.
What's up? You ok? Baby, what's wrong? I just have butterflies, that's all.
Justhyperventilating.
Yeah, it's alright, just breathe slow.
Breathe, that's it.
Yeah! It's exciting! I'm excited to meet your friend Nona.
Yeah butmy friends, the Betty Girls they've come all the way from New York to produce me.
- I can't do it.
I can't! - Yes, you can do it.
Look they came out here because your record's gonna be killer, Kit.
And because they love you! I mean, this is all happening 'cause you took control of your life.
- Ok, I'm ok, I'm ok! - Alright, alright! SorryI didn't mean to touch you.
I don't mind being touched by you.
Obviously you do.
Before I'm away I want you to move out.
Where am I supposed to go? I don't know, I just Just move into the other bedroom until we figure it out! I just don't want you in my bed anymore.
Alright fine, if that's what you want.
That's not what I want, Tina You know, I'm not the one who decided that the last 8 years of her life was some meaningless little dalliance in the land of alternative lifestyles.
You know that's not true.
I can't help the feelings that I'm having.
Well, I don't want you to have them in my bed.
I have to pack.
Do you mind if I just spend a little time with myself in my room.
It's Ok.
Hi Sweetie.
Mommy's right here.
Yeahwhat a big girl! Yes, you're a big girl.
Your mommy is right here.
Who's this? - Who's this? - She's gonna need to be nursed.
Come on, Sweetie, come on! Lets go nurse! Let's go nurse in my room.
I won't do that.
That's not good! Carmen! Carmen! You're having a bad dream.
You're having a bad dream.
You're kicking me! - I have? - Yeah.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Oh my God! Shane I had this dream that we were inside of Wax but it was like it was really trippy and there were all this likepaintings that were floating around.
You were there and I was there.
And there was this lady It was Cherie.
- What? - It was Cherie Jaffe.
You were giving a tattoo to Cherie Jaffe.
Like the one that we have that's on the back of our necks.
Why did you do that? Do what? Give her a tattoo.
- I didn't.
- That was something that's really sacred to us.
That's just between us! - But I didn't give it - Damn it, Shane, that's so fucked up! Al? Yeahcoming, hold on a sec.
Alice! Ok! I'm coming! Ok, I put a little amsidine in that greek yogurt that you like! Check it out! Hot, hot, hot, isn't it? It's too bad Lara is not around to see this.
Maybe I'll save it and sell it on eBay.
What do you think? Alright, can you not be so morbid? And drink this.
Drink your shake.
- I can't.
I feel nauseous.
- Please.
JustIt's good for you.
Drink! Where're you going? Hold on.
Reinforcements.
- What is that? - I did a little shopping.
Got some basics.
Ok? Nothing It'sshag.
Shaggy-chic! I know, this is out of fashion but we'll work on it.
Blondes have more fun.
You like? Rockin' red head! I can't wear a wig, Alice.
- Why? - Erm, because I'll look stupid.
You're not gonna look stupid.
Just try it! - Ok? - Ok.
Just humor me.
Not so much that one.
- No.
Ok, try another one.
Sharon Fairbanks.
Go away.
- What's your mom doing now? - She keeps calling me.
'I Just read an article about an amputee who won a tournament.
' That makes me nuts! You know, she justshe's trying to help.
And I don't think shutting them out is really gonna make you feel better.
Well then, what is gonna make me feel better, Al? I mean, look at me! I'm justI'm disappearing! I'm just disappearing.
Can i read it to you? Just one second.
Ok.
Read it to me.
'This is to inform all of my friends and acquaintances that from now on, I'll be going by the name Max.
Please use only the male pronoun when referring to me.
Yours truly.
' Why don't you sign off like this? Yeah, that's cool.
I'm home, dear! Look at you! You look like you're 29! And you stay so sexy! And you wanna know what, I'm back! The Betty Girls! Hi Alison, hi! - And Amy, hi girl! - Hey Kit, how're you doing? This is my boob.
This is my main squeeze, Angus.
Hi, Alison, welcome! - AngusPartridge.
- Nice to meet you! - Hi.
Bye bye, sweetie.
Don't forget this.
Don't forget Alright, gimme a kiss! Give your mama a kiss.
It's supposed to be a totally silent retreat but Julia said she hiked out to the lake every week to call her son.
Excuse me, can you cut your enging until I'm ready to go? Thanks! So I expect you to put her on the phone with me.
Of course I'll put her on the phone with you.
I wanna call her from the road this afternoon so where will you be? I was thinking of going to visit Kit and everyone in the recording studio.
- You're kidding me! - Why, is there a problem? Well, the problem is that you no longer have the privilegies of being my life partner.
- WoaaWhat? - Don't get all golden-affronted! You're the one who's breaking up the family.
- I'm not breaking up - Yes, you are, Tina! You don't love me.
You know, you have been changing who you are and yes, you are breaking up this family! You know, it's about time that we both just got real about it.
Sowhile I'm away and meditating I'm gonna try What is she doing here? - Hey.
- Hello Roberta.
How long have you been here? I'm getting ready to write up my report to the bureau and I was in the neighborhood.
A gay dad wants to adopt a crack baby.
And are you endorsing their petition? They're a wonderful family.
They've been together for 19 years and this is their third child.
How are you two doing? - Wonderful! - Fine! Is there anything you wanna tell me? Have there been changes afoot? Well, I meanwe're working out some things, but I mean, frankly We think it's really between me and Tina.
- Couple go through changes all the time.
- Yeah.
And you're still intending on proceeding with this adoption? - Of course we are! - Absolutely! Listen, i've gotta get going.
Flight at 10.
30.
Where're you going? If i may ask.
I'm going to the Mahabodi monastery, in Olympia, Washington, I'm going on a meditation retreat.
How long will you be gone? Well, I guess that's fine considering Angelica will be home and safe with her mother.
And her other mother will be home with her in 10 days enlightened and better able to cope with any changes that are afoot Goodbye, baby.
I love you, little Angie.
I love you! There you go.
Excuse me.
Bye, Angie! Say 'Bye mama'! 'Bye mama'! Are you sure you wanna go through with this adoption? Of course i do! Why would you say that? Because it's obvious that you and Bette are not happy campers.
What if you get involved with someone else, Tina? I don't think that's relevant.
It's highly relevant! Bette is Angelica's other mother.
You wouldn't even be saying this if we were a heterosexual couple! You just might wanna think about it.
I'm just picking Dylan up.
Shall I bring you coffee? I'm just talking to Alice.
Ok, i'll see you at the Woody studio.
What time are you gonna get there? - Hi.
- Hi.
I can't tell you, I'm so excited to meet Nona Hendrix.
I'm the hugest fan.
You mind if I just make one more quick call? I'm pretty sure I've got the jet for tomorrow.
- For the game? - Yeah.
Dana's this huge basketball fan.
The 'San José Lightnings' is her favorite team.
Andyou're flying everyone out on your mother's jet? You think it's too much? You think it's too much! I don't think it's too much.
I think it's amazing! It is! It's likethe most incredible thing to do for your friend who's sick I think you're amazing! Thank you.
I'm getting in the car.
Guysermcan I make a suggestion? I think Kit should sing through the first chorus by herself and then you guys come in on the second chorus.
I don't think we've heard enough of her yet.
You want me to sing that line by myself? What's he saying? I think maybe we double up on the first chorus and then do the second chorus three times because it's very strong.
ErmAngus We're just trying to do this scratch with the vocals right now, so can we just complete it and try something else later? Ok, Paul, let's try that again and take it from the top of the chorus, please.
Who's next? - Hey.
- Hi Shane.
I'm sorry, I gotta take these two.
Come on.
Give me these.
Are you ready? Yeah.
Auntie Kit.
Kit! Hey Alison, how are you? Thank you so much for letting us come.
Oh honey, you know you can come any time.
This is my friend Dylan Moreland.
- Hey, how're you doing.
- Really nice to meet you.
I don't know if it would be a pain but you think you could you introduce Dylan to Nona? She's a huge fan.
Oh sure, no problem! Oh Nona, come here! Come here, girl! Nona Hendrix, I want you to meet some of my friends and your biggest fan right here - Hi, Dylan, it's so good to meet you.
- Great, great to meet you! So, I thought you guys were just friends.
We are! - Oh God, yeah right.
- We are! Kit, phone call for you.
It's your sister.
Where're you at right now? Almost at the airport.
Listen Kit, can you do me a big favor? Yeah! Sure.
Can you call Tina and just let her now that she's welcome to come visit you at the recording studio? ErmTina just walked in.
She what? Yeah, she just walked in with Helena and her friend.
You're kidding me? Hello? Bette? Bette? Lost her.
A subcutaneous mastectomy is the reduction of breast volume to a male appearing chest.
We perform it under general anesthesia using a semicircular u-shaped incision at the junction of the aureolis skin and the normal skin.
This procedure runs about 7.
500$.
Well that's alright 'cause I'm still covered for like another 6 months with my police and that.
I'm afraid that gender reassignment surgery isn't yet included on any insurance policy.
They see it as an elective procedure.
Hey listen, I just got my advance so why don't I use the money that the publisher gave me and i'll pay for it.
- Jenny, I don't want you to pay for this.
- I wanna pay for it.
- I just wouldn't feel right about it, you know.
- No, I feel fine.
- It's nice but I just - I wanna pay for it.
Do you know what a lot of people do? Well, not a lot, but some of my patients they hold top surgery benefit parties.
They invite their friends in from the community and raise the funds to pay for their top surgeries.
Yeah, let's do that! Ok What's the tempo? Take it down to, let's say, 102.
- That's not gonna work.
- What is not gonna work? - That's not gonna work! Angus, come on baby.
Come on.
Baby, what's going on? - Nothing's going on.
Do you not want me to be a part of it? - No no, of course I want you to be a part of it.
Look, it's just a totally different thing when you're making your own record.
This isn't some daddy boy box record company, ok? I want you to get everything you envisioned when your first dream Oh wow, look at this! It's an all-in-one boxer with a built-in package and a chest binding vest.
I like this.
The Pissin' Passin' Packer.
This dick can be used a clean tidy standing urinary device.
You can hold it up against yourself, face the toilet bowl or urinal and let it fly.
You can pee standing up, can't you? Yeah, i know.
But, I mean, I've never been able to you knowwhip it out in the men's room.
I see.
- Oh this great.
Can we do - Hey Kit! You've got some new visitors.
What is it with those crazy dudes? Don't ask.
It'll all be explained in a minute.
No no, it's extreme as in the season.
- Yeah.
- This is the new thing.
- Ok, so we want to introduce you to someone.
- Yeah, so please welcome the brand-newDana Fairbanks! - Come on Dana! - Come on! - Look at you, Dana! - You look fantastic.
- You're such a beauty.
- You look amazing.
You look gorgeous.
Dana, I got somebody that I want you to meet.
Ezi, Nona, this is Dana Fairbanks, our best friend who came by to show us her new chemo therapy coiffure.
Woa, it's really fantastic to meet you! And you know what? I'm down with that, dude.
Thank you! Party on, Dana.
You look great.
That motherfucker! Bastard.
Fucker! You're not getHey Dana, you ok? - Oh yeah - Wanna go home? - No I wanna stay and have fun and play games.
- Sure, I see it, I see it.
GetCome onGet the motherfucker! - I got it, I got it.
- Where's Carmen? I'm in the shithouse.
Why? Carmen had a dream that I gave Cherie Jaffe a fucking tattoo! Oh, yeahI've had that happen I had this girl who dreamt that I fucked David Schwimmer! Well, 'Friends' was on a lot! Fucker! Shit! You know, Al, I believe When we were going out I had a dream you were a midget.
But I wasn't mad at you or anything.
Hey goddamnit! Well, he keeps shooting your back.
I hate being in the shithouse.
I'm gonna get some tea.
Do you want some tea? No, thanks, i've already had tea.
Hey guys.
You're making some tea? Yeah.
So, where's Dana? She was feeling sick.
So she just went to lie down.
Do you think she's gonna be up for tomorrow? No no, i think she'll be psyched.
Sure - Ok, lets go.
- Yeah, ok.
- See you guys later.
- Bye.
Come here.
This is fucking insane! Come here.
I'll show you how fucking insane it is.
You feel that? Nobody makes me wet like that.
You're the first person who's ever done that to me.
Take me home! You wanna go home? To your house Now! Hey baby, what are you doing? No, I'm not here for you.
I'm here for Kit and I'd like to meet Nona Hendrix, ok? You are not to talk to me.
- I didn't do anything.
- That's it.
Guys Guys, can you keep it down? Ok, not only did you give Cherie Jaffe a tattoo but there was a scary looking bird that kept flying around.
And at one point it was screaming your name.
It was like 'Shane, Shane.
Hello Shane!' and you sprouted wings and you flew off with the bird.
Ok? That is unacceptable.
Oh they sound so good! What do we got? - You like it? - They sound good.
Latin women Caliente! - Hey guys, I just wanna thank you for a great day.
- It's gonna be better tomorrow.
We're gonna be really hot, right? Well, if you three can work up an arrangement where her vocal drama doesn't overwhelm Kit's freestyle funk.
- No, you didn't say that.
- Well you know what, somebody's gotta say it.
Come on.
I wanna talk to you.
Now.
Right now.
Do you have any idea what a big favor these people are doing for me? Ok, that's the problem.
You're acting like they're doing you this big favor when you're doing them the favor.
Angus.
I don't need this.
I really don't need this.
This is not how I deal.
This is not how I wanna set things up with people that I'm gonna work with, ok? Justjust back off! - Back off? - Yeah.
- Can you guys gimme a ride? - No problem.
I've never done this before.
It's justI haven't fucking done this Come on.
Don't worry.
It's ok.
I need help.
I can't undo it.
Thank you.
I'm gonnaIf you could just - I'm gonna change if that's - Yeah.
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
No problem.
Can you help me? I can't get my bra off.
You ok? I'm sorry.
You're beautiful.
Hey, you're still at it.
Are you still working on chapter 4? No, I'm writing a story about you.
About me? Yeah well, not just about you.
Sort ofI don't knowabout us and what we're going through.
Why're you doing that? Ok, don't do that.
- Stop that.
- You can delete it! Don't touch my fucking computer! Stop that! Delete the fucking shit! What's going on? Nothing.
I wasermI was writing late and Moira wasMax was worried about me.
Is everything ok out here? Yeah.
Are you sure? It's fine.
I'm just tired.
I'm gonna go to bed.
Sorry guys.
I didn't wanna wake you up or anything.
You're kidding Are you sure you've never Never! have never done? - It's good? - Oh yeah! Did you have any more of those dreams last night? I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that you're having these nightmares because of that fucked up thing I did.
I know that you know we're we're doing and we're trying to work this out and stuff but I guess that I'm still hurt.
You've every right to be.
I mean, you flew off, Shane! You totally took off with this bird.
I'm not going anywhere.
Hey guys.
I wish I could go with you guys but Angelica's got a cold and I shouldn't take her on the plane.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Hi Jenny.
- Hey guys.
- Where's Moira? Max.
Oh, sorry, Max.
- Is he coming or what? - I don't know Have a good time.
I should go.
- She's not doing well.
- Ok.
Bye.
- Hope the baby's better.
- Thanks.
- Hi.
- Hey.
I'm sorry about last night.
It's the testosterone.
It likeamps me up.
You know, you embarrassed me.
And you scared me.
It's unacceptable to yell at me like that.
I'm sorry.
I really am.
I just I don't want you to write about me.
Why? Because.
It's private.
But it's important.
This is MY story! No, it's our story.
The story is not just about you.
It's about how we met and everything that we've gone through up until this point.
Jenny, come on! I don't wanna fight.
Please! Can we just forget about it and just go and have a great time with Dana? I don't really feel like Dana would want me thereyou know.
I mean She's like totally freaked out by what I'm doing.
I want you there.
I want you to be my date.
- Ok? - Ok.
Alright, soerm I guess I'm not gonna see you till late tonight? It's good, baby.
It's a good thing.
Ok, bye.
I'll talk to you later.
Ok, bye.
It's good.
- You can come? - Yeah.
- He's alright with it? - Yeah.
We You knowwe have a pretty independant relationship.
We're both away a lot when we're shooting.
Where does he think you were last night? I don't know, he didn't ask.
Really? Yeah.
You know, we trust each other.
- That makes me feel terrible.
- Oh, no no No please! Don't! Don't let it! I'm gonna tell him.
You're gonna tell him about us? Yeah.
Tonight when we get back from San José.
Really? Yeah.
Really! It's not even my car.
- Nice job.
- Thank you.
Alice What's going on? Dana, we are taking you to the San José game.
The basketball game? - You're the Peabody party? - Yeah, that's us.
- Hey guys, come on.
- Oh my God, I can't believe I'm about to go on a private jet.
- I can't believe we're going to a major basketball game.
- Hi.
- Hey.
How are you? - Hey Dylan.
Hi.
- Is everybody ready? - Yes.
- Thank you.
- It's my pleasure, Dana.
It's incredible.
This is awesome.
Do we get like free food and stuff on here? You coming, Moira? Max.
Oh, right Everybody, Moira's dead.
Welcome Max.
Ok Kit, it's your first take.
So take your time and make it sexy, girl.
Thank you for making me really nervous.
Oh wait.
Ok, hold on I just wasn't there yet.
Ok one more time.
We can do itwe can do it.
It's alright.
Let's go again.
- That's ok.
That's ok.
Take your time.
That's nice.
- Okermyeah.
We have apricot tartsall kinds of freshly-baked cookies.
Fruit, yogurtwould you like a latte or a cappuccino? Yeah I'll have ayou know what? I shouldn't.
Sorry, nevermind.
You're trying to quit caffeine? Yeah, I'm trying to stay as clean as possible.
Is that 'cause of the medication you're on? Yeah actually Me too.
I'm really sorry about what you're going through.
Thanks.
You know, I want you to know that I could understand why you wouldn't wanna be around me.
I mean, you worked really hard to create the body you have.
Your whole life's been in that.
You're right.
And i want you to know You don't have to accept this Maybe I shouldn't even say it but It's life and death for me too.
But you don't have cancer.
Hello ladies, it's your captain here.
I hope you've enjoyed the ride so far.
We're going to approach for a landing at the San José airport in approximatively 10 minutes.
Oh, that does not look good.
- I feel sorry for him.
- Oh please.
He so deserves this.
I've seen Kit do this over and over again.
I can just imagine what she's saying to that poor boy.
- Do you wanna know? - Yes.
I was looking forward to working with them until working with them became working with you and them.
And then, 'Angus can you take the baby for a while?' - No no no, I just - Look I'm sorry, ok? I stepped over the line and I'm sorry for that.
It's because I love you.
I certainly didn't mean to embarrass you in front of you friends.
Why don't you apologize to themnot to me! Well, I will apologize to them but you're the one who makes me feel like a fucking adolescent because I'm so in love with you.
You're the one I wanna spend the rest of my life with.
You are the one I want to marry me.
- That's the most ridiculous thing i've ever heard.
- I mean it! You don't mean it! You're young.
You wanna have a family.
You wanna have kids.
Oh i see.
Now you're the expert in what I want.
I'm not the expert.
But I've seen you with my niece.
I've seen you with kids and you know whatyou've got Shut the fuck up, Kit! I've known you for 25 years and I've seen you blow more relationships.
You got a good one here and I think you oughta think twice before you send him pack it.
- Who asked you? - No, wait.
I think she has a point here.
No, you shut up! Kiss the bride, fucker! And you shut up too! No - You shut up.
- Come on Come on! Andshe's going Is everything good? - I meanis there any press when we get in there? - Already taken care of.
- Hey.
Aren't you Dana Fairbanks? - No, I'm sorry.
- You don't like being recognized, huh? - No, not like this.
Soerm What did you mean back in the plane about life and death for you? The first time I tried to kill myself.
I was like 10 years old.
And I fought against it because I really believed it was a sin.
But I knew, I was like I knew this wasn't my life.
You were 10 when you tried to kill yourself? Yeah.
But I knew this wasn't my life.
I was like I don't know.
I thought, maybe if i die and then came back God would put me in the right body.
Ladies and Gentleman, we have someone very special in the house tonight.
Let's give it up for the 2006 Mercedes Challenge Ladies Tennis Champion: Miss Dana Fairbanks! The San José Lightnings congratulate you, Dana! Sports fans, make some noise! We love you, so excited you're here! Thank you! - Get me outta here! - Dana It's not for you It's for them.
Come on.
Thank you.