The L Word: Generation Q (2019) s03e06 Episode Script

1
What, what, what?
- Come here.
- No, no.
Wow, I can't believe
we're really doing this.
That's why we did the cleanse, Soph.
To prevent that exact outcome.
Okay, 'cause I really
don't want to shit my pants.
Yeah, no, I got you.
Don't worry about it.
- Okay, good, good, good.
- Besides, it's gonna be good
to do, like, a little team
building, don't you think?
- Yeah, yeah. It's yeah.
- Yeah.
Oh, final packing question
how many safari onesies is too many?
N No.
Hello?
Right there.
Hi.
That's a lot of n-naked people on my
velvet couch.
Don't wear white, okay.
- Soph.
- Uh, yeah. I'm in here.
I think I found a good one.
She looks like a real winner on CarMax.
Heated seats or no?
- What's this?
- Oh, I'm
I'm going on that-that work retreat.
Remember? I told you.
Oh, yeah.
Alice practically bullied
all of us into going.
Is this
Is this what I should wear?
- I just
- I'm not sure. Um
Yeah, it's gonna be really
hot in the desert, so
Okay, well, this is in Reseda.
What time are you leaving?
It's gonna take, like, 20
minutes to get there, so
Oh, well, I don't
I-I don't think I have time
to go to Reseda before I go.
- Okay.
- Um
But, hey, wait, um,
can they hold it for you?
They're not gonna hold it for me.
Well, you can ask.
No, I'm not gonna ask
them to do that. Uh
Okay, well, wait, what do
you, what do you want me to do?
Do you want me to stay
and help you buy the car?
- Because I will. If I will.
- No. No, no.
I'll stay.
No, it's-it's fine.
Have a good trip.
I'm sorry. I-I'm gonna clean this up.
I just, I-I really lost track of time.
Sorry.
Okay, there's no gentle way to say this.
You're kind of a fucking mess.
I know. I know that. Which is why
I'm gonna go to a hotel and
I'm gonna get out of your hair.
'Cause I shouldn't be doing this.
- What? No.
- Yes.
No, I'm not letting you out of my sight.
Well, I guess it looks like you're
just gonna have to come with me.
Absolutely not.
I am not taking ayahuasca in
the desert with your coworkers.
Why? Chelsea Handler did it.
I hooked up with one of your employees.
Oh, my God, Ivy's not gonna be
there. She moved to New York.
She got a job there.
She didn't tell you?
- No.
- Oh.
I'm throwing these. If someone
calls for them, they're in the trash.
- Oh, those are Bridget's.
- Um, you know their names now? Okay.
Regardless, no, Al.
- Count me out.
- You know what they say?
They say it's like ten years
of therapy but in one night.
And you could use the ten.
I mean 20, but
All right, fine.
- Great.
- Fine. Fine.
Oh, the smell. It's, like, thick.
- Also, don't wear white.
- What?
No white.
Showtime!
All right, well
I've been having a really cult-y year.
Thank you!
May your stay be as
peaceful as your heart.
Oh. Does that get rid of the demons?
- Good.
- Thank you.
Thanks.
- Christ.
- What?
She got me right in the eye.
Do you want some of this?
I'd hate to take away
from your experience.
- Oh!
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Thank you so much.
Oh, God, I feel so fucking terrible.
- Why?
- Already?
I just got into a fight with Finley,
and she's not returning any of my calls.
- Huh.
- You know what,
I think maybe I should just
- maybe I should just go.
- No.
No! No, we are here to do
team building and drugs.
You're staying.
Hey.
- Do it for the drugs.
- Do it for the drugs.
Okay, first of all,
thank you for coming.
You all do so much for the show. You do.
And you put your heart and soul into it.
All day, every day.
And I just wanted to do
something special to say thank you,
so thank you, thank you, thank you.
I really think this experience
is gonna make us stronger
and bring us together.
So, go, team.
Um, I will see you
all on the other side.
You holding up the tree?
No one thinks this
retreat is about work.
What else would it be about?
You.
Why would you say that?
It's obviously about
my staff and my team.
Sure.
Om
- Oh.
- Welcome, welcome
Okay
Thank you
Om
Ooh, great. We get to lie down.
Yes, please.
Huh.
Um, will you will you
two lie on either side of me?
- Why?
- I-I can't use that bucket
in front of anyone but you two.
- You know? You know?
- All right.
Okay.
Okay, humans.
That's funny.
My name is Mercury.
And we are here this evening
with one simple purpose.
To open our mind's eye
to the universe's life force energy.
So let's turn our
awareness to the cosmos.
Close your eyes.
Take a deep breath in.
And ask yourself
what would you like
the universe to show you?
Okay.
Now open your eyes
and write down your intentions.
It's not like it
was even right with Taylor
- or anyone lately.
- Do you ever think
that maybe this "not right" thing
has more to do with you?
I do love you.
You have a really
fucked-up way of showing it, Shane.
- Psst.
- Huh?
Okay, so maybe this whole thing
wasn't really about work only.
- No shit.
- Hmm.
- I-I love her.
- You both
- are toxic together.
- Go! Go!
Drink up, everyone.
It's yummy.
Um
Hi. Sorry.
Uh, do you have, like,
a squeeze of lemon or, um,
like, Splenda or something
that would, you know, help
Okay.
Poof.
Hey. Sorry. Real quick.
Uh, do we just knock these back?
Well
Cheers, queers.
Find yourselves comfortable.
Meditate on what you need
to know from the universe.
Well, here goes nothing.
What would you like the universe
to show you?
Meditate.
Are you hearing what I'm hearing?
Oh, please don't let
this turn into a musical.
Have a nice trip ♪
I hope you get lost
and you find yourselves ♪
Just go with it ♪
It will be best ♪
If you don't fight it ♪
Just chillax ♪
- Don't be afraid ♪
- Don't be afraid ♪
- It's all in your head ♪
- Get out of your head ♪
You'll return much
better off than you left ♪
So, have a nice trip ♪
This isn't goodbye, fly high ♪
See you on the other side ♪
See you on the other side ♪
You may not feel your legs ♪
But they'll be there ♪
- And if you see things ♪
- See things ♪
- That just aren't there ♪
- Don't be scared ♪
Follow your guide and be self-aware ♪
If the ride gets bumpy,
try not to be scared, no ♪
Have a nice trip ♪
You're arriving on time ♪
Read the signs ♪
See you on the other side ♪
See you on the other side ♪
See you on the other side ♪
Welcome to the other side ♪
What?
We got to look out for the ladies today.
You think Doris is gonna be there?
All right, let's see where this goes.
I wonder who's performing tonight.
Come on. What are you waiting for, huh?
Go, go.
What's this?
Tess.
- It's Tess Van De Berg.
- Hey, fellas.
Yeah, what?
What do you got over there, Shane?
Hot damn!
Wow. She's a looker, eh?
I got dibs. Come on, follow me.
All right, Tess, where are you?
Hey, good looking.
- Hi.
- Remember me?
Excuse me, miss.
Hey there, sailor.
I came an awful long
way to hear you sing.
Show doesn't start until eight.
But you can buy me a drink until then.
Oh, I can do a hell of
a lot better than that.
Pick up your feet
and open your ears, boys!
Dance with me.
Don't settle down, settle up ♪
I know what you're doing, sailor.
Single butches, put your hands up ♪
I'm no ordinary sailor.
Tomorrow may not ever come ♪
Forever young ♪
There's enough of us ♪
- To go around ♪
- Hey ♪
Your body is a playground ♪
- Show-off.
- Skin to skin ♪
- And mouth to mouth ♪
- All we have is now ♪
Yo-oh-oh, here we go, bottoms up ♪
Yo-oh-oh, here we go, bottoms up ♪
Yo-oh-oh, here we go, bottoms up ♪
- Tess!
- Here we go ♪
Here we go, here we go, bottoms up ♪
Aye, aye, Captain, all aboard ♪
Let's make waves and make some noise ♪
- Hey
- Follow me, close the door ♪
- Get what we came here for ♪
- We run a loose ship ♪
- All hands on deck ♪
- Hey ♪
Who's gonna score? ♪
- We're taking bets ♪
- Hey ♪
Poker face, no regrets ♪
No commitments ♪
Just hot sex, yes ♪
Yo-oh-oh, here we go, bottoms up ♪
Yo-oh-oh, here we go, bottoms up ♪
Yo-oh-oh, here we go, bottoms up ♪
Here we go, here we go,
here we go, bottoms up ♪
Live it up ♪
Fill your cup ♪
Keep it light ♪
We're just looking for a good time ♪
Live it up ♪
Drink it up ♪
Cross the line ♪
It's gonna be a wild night ♪
Yo-oh-oh, here we go, bottoms up ♪
Yo-oh-oh, here we go, bottoms up ♪
Yo-oh-oh, here we go, bottoms up ♪
Here we go, here we go,
here we go, bottoms up ♪
Yo-oh-oh, here we go, bottoms up ♪
Yo-oh-oh, here we go, bottoms up ♪
Yo-oh-oh, here we go, bottoms up ♪
Let's get out of here.
Here we go, bottoms up ♪
I guess I'm married.
I should probably be in the kitchen.
Honey, Finley's home!
Hi, honey, so glad you're home.
- What's that smell?
- Oh.
I got the turkey basting,
- potatoes scalloped, and
- Oh, good.
The boss and his wife are coming
over. I'm up for a big promotion.
- What? When are they ?
- Now!
Now? But I haven't had time to prepare
any charming dinner conversation.
Not to worry, honey. I took care of it.
See, he's a bit of a serious fella,
so I thought it'd be
best if you didn't say
- anything at all.
- What?
Nothing? But how will I ?
I told him you have laryngitis.
Laryn-what?
Mr. Lee, so nice to
have you in our home.
- Dear, what a lovely home.
- Finley.
Hello, Mister
Like I told you,
she lost her voice,
but, boy, is she cute.
Come on in.
Okay. Oh.
Uh
Okay, I can't, I can't
really see anything, uh
Can we cut?
That's a cut.
It's not funny.
She doesn't know how
to land a fucking joke.
What's going on?
- What's the problem?
- She's killing me.
I had lines that were stepped on.
I need more motivation
to walk through the door.
Let's fix that.
Okay, um, I'm sorry, uh, but
I'm just having a hard time
figuring out why this is funny and
- You got this, babe.
- Goddamn it.
She's giving me nothing to work with.
I feel like I'm on my own out there.
Okay, but I'm trying to
give you something here.
Don't worry about
her. This is your show.
You're the star. It's all about you.
Doesn't feel that way.
Doesn't feel that way at all.
It is. It's all about Finley.
We're going again.
- Um, I, but wait, I still
- From the top, on the bell.
Hello?
Sophie?
Shane?
Alice Pieszecki, come on down!
Want to find the one?
Then it's time to play
Name That Flaw!
Oh, Eureka, of course it's you.
This makes total sense.
I fall asleep to your show every night.
Aw Well, I'd rather be
tits up in a pool, but I'm here.
You know how to
play. We show you an ex,
you tell us why they're undateable.
- All right, you ready to play?
- Oh, yeah.
I mean, finding flaws is
one of my strengths.
And somehow I already knew that.
Okay, bring on the flaw.
Oh.
Too conventional.
- Wanted to get married too fast.
- Ew. But yes.
All right.
Oh, um
Didn't like me enough.
Ah!
Bitch.
Oh, that's complicated.
Gigi. The answer is Gigi!
The answer is always Gigi.
Ah!
All right, last one in this round.
Oh. Okay.
Well, I liked them, but
Coachella.
Yes! Okay.
I know about Coachella, okay?
You know? All those.
Okay, Alice. Final round.
One more image.
- Name that flaw!
- Me?
Ooh
What are your exes saying about you,
- Alice?
- Um
- Why are you undateable?
- I don't know.
Focus, Alice.
And remember
you can always ask the audience.
Okay. Um
Audience, what's my flaw?
You think you're
better than everyone.
Damn.
No, I don't. That's not true.
You don't rinse your yogurt container
before you recycle it.
Sometimes I do, just not that often.
Okay, okay, okay.
Alice what's it going to be?
- What is your flaw?
- Is it, uh
- I push people away?
- Final answer?
Final answer.
That's the one!
You're a winner, baby!
Let's show her what she's
won, shall we, folks?
You've won your dream life!
And you've also won a gorgeous home!
- And this decadent custom furniture!
- Oh, yes!
And your dream partner.
Oh, my God.
Is it really you?
Who else would it be?
But you're old.
You're old, too, Al.
Geez.
- Yeah, right
- We get to grow old together.
That's part of the dream life.
I'll take it.
Whatever it is.
Do I look good, though? Do I look okay?
You look perfect, Dana.
I can't believe this
is really happening.
Come on. I'll give you the tour.
Welcome to our perfect life ♪
Honey, I'm home ♪
With a wild organic garden ♪
I love the trophy room
and this tennis court ♪
Ooh, come play with me?
I'll pretend that it's
good for my knees ♪
Wait, do we have kids? ♪
No, we have cat ♪
Sitters 'cause we just travel the world ♪
With our celebrity friends ♪
Now we're back home
again, just me and you ♪
What should we do? ♪
- Reorder Postmates ♪
- Fight for the blanket ♪
Fall asleep on our favorite show ♪
- Proofread my emails ♪
- Laugh at my bad jokes ♪
Everything is perfect with you ♪
Sing along with the wrong words ♪
Fudging in costumes ♪
Talking over me ♪
And our feather pillow fights ♪
- Dance in the ballroom ♪
- Ignore when I call you ♪
A perfectly imperfect ♪
Life ♪
Perfect life ♪
- Ooh ♪
- Ooh ♪
Reorder DoorDash ♪
Fight for the blanket ♪
Fall asleep on our favorite show ♪
- Proofread my emails ♪
- Laugh at my bad jokes ♪
Everything is perfect ♪
With you ♪
With you ♪
Perfect with you ♪
With you ♪
Perfect with you ♪
Dana?
- Can I kiss you?
- Yes.
- Finley, dinner was delicious.
- Aw, thank you so much.
I wish I'd married
someone who could cook.
Oh, I wish you did, too, dear.
Yeah, the potatoes were divine.
Weren't they, though?
- Oh, that's my mother's reci
- My mother's recipe.
Oh, well, you'll have to give it to me.
And then you'll have to come over
and make it for her, too.
Well, actually, it's quite
Oh, what was that, dear?
You, uh, wanted some more potatoes.
Here, help yourself.
We have a delicious apple
pie prepared, don't we, dear?
Thank you, darling. You
know, I grew up on an orchard.
Don't let the suit fool
you, I'm an everyman.
- Is that so?
- Which makes me perfect
for this opportunity you have here.
- Really?
- Now,
and, remind me, you have a
Please don't speak ♪
It has been my turn for a while ♪
Shh, don't speak ♪
You will hear me out now ♪
The answer's finally no ♪
For the first time ♪
I'm putting myself
first, first in line ♪
Nothing that you can say ♪
Will change my mind ♪
I found my voice under the noise ♪
And I made my
choice, it's all about me ♪
It's time that I stand ♪
For who I am ♪
I'm my number one fan ♪
It's all about me ♪
And I do not care ♪
- What you say ♪
- Get her off set. Get her off.
Starting right now ♪
From this day ♪
It's all about me ♪
So, what I was saying
- We should go.
- No, no, no. I-I
Don't need no one to speak for me ♪
That was my codependency ♪
But now I'm independently ♪
Being who I want ♪
I set me free, huh ♪
Not people-pleasing no more ♪
Take me or leave me alone ♪
'Cause I've been through
hell and back again ♪
Crippled by fear of abandonment ♪
Money ain't a thing, been having it ♪
But it never filled
up that emptiness ♪
So never mind you,
got to be about me ♪
Got mountains to move,
uproot these beliefs ♪
That made me feel hella undeserving ♪
But the truth is now ♪
I know I am worthy ♪
I found my voice ♪
Under the noise ♪
And I made my choice ♪
It's all about me ♪
It's time that I stand for who I am ♪
I'm my number one fan,
it's all about me ♪
I don't give a damn ♪
What you say ♪
I am no longer ♪
Afraid ♪
It's all about me ♪
It's all about me ♪
Me ♪
Hey ♪
It's all about ♪
Me ♪
Sophie! Sophie! Sophie! Sophie! Sophie!
Sophie! Sophie! Sophie! Sophie!
Do something
I know sailors like you.
I'm not like the others.
Girl in every port.
Maybe in some ways,
I am like the rest of them.
That's what I thought.
Maybe I haven't settled down
on account of not finding
the right girl yet.
And you're hoping I'm
the right one, are you?
You look pretty right to me.
- Don't charm me unless you mean it.
- I mean it.
- I want to believe you.
- You should.
There she is!
Where do you think you're going, Shane?
- They found you.
- They always do.
I'll lose 'em, grab the car,
I'll meet you around back.
Be careful, sailor.
- I will.
- She's headed that way.
Get her!
You can't hide from us, Shane.
Shane! Come on!
- There's nowhere else to go.
- You can't escape.
Damn, it's higher than I thought.
You can't hide from us.
Come on, Shane!
Whoa.
Oh, I know it's scary,
but you have to trust me.
It's the only way we
can be together forever.
What?
- Sorry You said forever.
- Yes, Shane.
- Forever.
- Forever's a long time.
- Tonight's all that matters.
- Shane.
- Shane, you have to jump!
- Shane.
- Shane.
- Shane.
I thought you were different.
- Was that all a lie?
- Shane.
- Shane.
- No.
It's a trap!
Well, then jump, Shane. Jump!
- Shane.
- You belong with us.
- Grab her, girl.
- Let me go. Let me go.
- Come on, Shane.
- Tess!
I was just I don't
know why you thought
you could handle a throuple.
I mean, you're like,
you're one of the most
sensitive people I've ever known.
I am.
- Is that a compliment?
- Nat was nice.
Yeah, she reminds me a lot of you.
- Obviously.
- Yeah.
Wait
is that what you're here to tell me?
Is that what I'm doing?
Am I trying to find
you in everybody else?
You're trying to do a lot of that.
Yeah.
Huh.
That makes a lot of sense. ♪
You were my person ♪
Some say we only get one ♪
Now it's all making sense ♪
'Cause I have the
worst luck with love ♪
They can check every box ♪
But no one knows me like you do ♪
So maybe I should give up on love ♪
Trying to fill your shoes ♪
'Cause nobody is you ♪
Who'll remember when I forget ♪
And ground me when
I'm through the roof ♪
Nobody but you ♪
Who will know my punch lines and lie ♪
Nobody ♪
But you ♪
Nobody ♪
'Cause nobody's you ♪
You are my sunshine ♪
My only lifeline ♪
And I've waited for this day ♪
When I could hold you ♪
Fold into you ♪
But I know that you can't stay ♪
Take my heart ♪
It's yours anyway ♪
'Cause nobody is you ♪
In this crazy tiny little world ♪
Tell me who ♪
Nobody but you ♪
Will know my punch lines and lie ♪
Nobody but you ♪
In this crazy tiny little world ♪
Tell me who ♪
Nobody but you ♪
Will know my punch lines and lie ♪
- Nobody ♪
- Nobody, nobody, nobody ♪
But you ♪
- I want to stay here forever.
- But you can't.
But I asked the universe to
show me the one and they
They found you.
So?
So, if you're the one,
then I have to stay.
I mean
it's over for me out there.
- I missed it.
- You missed it.
But not with me.
You have to let me go.
The one is still out there for you.
What?
Who is it? Do
- Do you know?
- Of course I know.
Do they know you, too?
In a way.
Don't be cagey. You sound
like a fortune cookie.
That's because you're waking up.
- What?
- You're waking up, Alice.
- No, I want to stay here with you.
- You can't.
You have to go.
Tess!
Oh, I knew it. I knew
you were one of them.
- No, I'm not.
- You are.
There's so much more on
the other side, Shane.
Tess, wait!
Tess!
Tess !
What would you like the
universe to show you?
Welcome back ♪
We hope you enjoyed your trip ♪
- Come back soon ♪
- Come back soon ♪
You have arrived ♪
Unfasten your seatbelts
and walk in truth ♪
Find the mate to your soul ♪
Let go of your past ♪
It's all about you, Sophie,
you're the first and not last ♪
So take what you've learned ♪
And leave all of your baggage behind ♪
You made it through the other side ♪
You made it through the other side ♪
It's all about me ♪
You made it, you
made it, you made it ♪
You made it, you made it ♪
I don't want to go back ♪
You made it, you
made it, you made it ♪
Are we still high? ♪
Now it's time to live your life ♪
Oh
Did we make it?
Oh Oh
- You okay?
- I don't know.
I don't know.
I was in a musical, a '40s musical.
In a way
you knew her.
Shane?
What?
Oh, my God!
I'm really, really high!
- Why?
- I'm really, really high.
- Like, high!
- Are you okay?
I'm great. I'm great.
- Never better.
- Are you guys
- Hey. Hi. Yeah. Yeah.
- Are you guys okay?
All right, um
I'm sorry, but
- I got to go find Finley.
- Yeah, I've got a lot of things to do.
Yeah. I got to, I got to,
I got to, uh I got to get Tess.
Yeah. Tess.
- How the hell do I get out of here?
- Just up. Just get up.
- Look.
- What?
- It's okay.
- Yeah, that kissing thing was like a
- No, it's-it's okay. It's
- You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
But I just want to say
thank you for bringing me to this.
- Yeah.
- All right, but
just keep it in the yurt, okay?
Mm-hmm. Oh, guess what?
- What?
- I saw Dana.
You did?
How is she?
She said the one
is still out there for me.
Okay
No way.
They knew her in a way
You're brilliant.
I know who it is. I know who it is.
Okay.
Hey.
- Hey.
- You're back.
Uh
I didn't know if you were working today.
Nope. No.
I actually took care of something else.
Huh?
- Oh, shit. You bought the car?
- I did. By myself.
And, uh
I wanted to say I'm
sorry about the other day.
I, uh
it was good to do it
on my own, actually.
I think it's good for us
to have some time apart.
You know? I have so much
shit I want to do for myself
and it's hard when we're together.
We just need to make time for ourselves
as, like, separate people, you know?
And then for us as a couple.
But I actually think we're
getting pretty good at it.
Hey.
We'll be like life coaches
after a couple years
of this shit, all right?
Sophie?
What's wrong?
Is it ?
- Are you mad at me?
- No.
I can't do this anymore.
I love you,
but I am not my full self
when I'm with you, Finn.
Oh, okay
Um, what does that mean?
It means that I twist
and turn my insides
to be the person that I
think you want me to be,
and I did it with Dani, too.
Um Okay.
But you're not You're
not trying to end this,
right? Because we can do stuff.
We can figure this out.
- You're looking at me like that, but
- It's over, Finn.
It has to be.
I don't want to hurt you but
I need to be alone, okay?
Hello, Tess?
Hello?
Tess?
Are you home?
Tess?
Hey.
Um, I promise I'll
leave if you want me to.
All right? But
I just, I want to say that, um
I-I've realized something.
And this could sound crazy, but
Uh
I realized that
I've been hanging on to this part of me
for a very long time.
And I'm scared to let that go because
I don't know who I am without it.
Does that make sense?
Yeah.
Well, with that being said
I'd like another chance
to get better at this.
And I
I want to earn your trust back.
What? What?
I didn't, I didn't say
that to make you cry,
I swear, I swear. What?
My mom died.