The Middle s06e14 Episode Script

The Answer

Previously on "The Middle".
.
Wow, Darrin, you're a homeowner.
Congratulations.
Actually, Sue, there's one more surprise.
Sue Heck, will you marry me? Hey, what are you doing home on Valentine's day? Oh, I guess you decided not to celebrate with Devin? We "celebrated" last night, if you know what I mean.
Axl, no one wants to know what you mean.
I've been thinking about it, and now that I'm the make-out king kissing a hillbilly in North Carolina and your giraffe of a girlfriend does not a make-out king make.
I'm sorry, how many different states have you kissed girls in? 'Cause I'm currently at three.
Brick, it's not very gentlemanly to brag about your conquests.
The point is, I'm a man now, and since Cindy and I have officially taken it to the next level, I've decided it's time for me to give up my childish affectations the whoops, the whispers, eating an entire pencil over the course of a week.
Hey! So, did you finally make it to the end of Darrin's big scavenger hunt? Yep.
Yep, I did.
Did he get you the red sweater? 'Cause we told him you wanted red.
Nope.
No sweater.
I think I'm just gonna go lie down now.
Anyway, since deciding to give up my tics a half-hour ago, I've whooped five times and whispered three.
By the way, I'm counting them now, so I'm scared that might be a new one.
Don't be discouraged, Brick.
Being aware of the problem is half the battle.
Don't listen to her, Brick.
That's mom speak for "I got nothing.
" Fortunately for you, I'm taking intro to psych this semester, and we're learning about this guy named Sigmund Freud.
Uh, you guys might want to pay attention here, too.
We've heard of Freud, Axl.
Yeah, 'cause I just said it.
Nice try, though.
So, this Freud guy, he had the hots for his own mom.
But it's all good 'cause he figured out a way to turn his perviness into science.
He invented these things called the ego, the superego, and the I.
D.
So, what I'm saying, Brick, is, I'm pretty sure I can fix you.
Can you fix me by tomorrow? I'm meeting Cindy at the library at 3:00.
I'd bet my C-plus on it.
I made dinner! Coming.
Dare we ask? Oh, this? Axl swaddled me before I went back to school.
He said my tics might be caused because my nerve endings are too exposed, so he suggested a good swaddle might comfort me.
I think he might be onto something.
It's very soothing.
Kind of like a a hug for my psyche.
Sue, would you mind? Hey, what's that? Oh.
Oh, this? Oh, it's it's nothing.
It's nothing.
It's just something Darrin got for me.
Mm, wow.
First, he gets you a necklace and now a ring? What, does he have an account at pioneer galaxy jewelers? Don't feel bad, Mike.
I told you, I love my Tweezers.
Nice ring, though.
The diamond thingy almost looks real.
Mm.
Let me see.
Mm.
Come on.
- Oh, wow, fancy.
- Yeah.
But, geez, doesn't it look a little too much like an engagement ring? Mike.
Let me see that.
I don't know how it happened! Ah, I was just doing the scavenger hunt, and then suddenly he gets down on his knee, and there was a tiny house, and I think he might have asked me to marry him! What? You think he what?! She said "might.
" She thinks he might have asked.
No, he did.
He definitely did.
- Whoop! - Oh, my God.
Oh, my God! - I'm gonna kill him.
- Kill him.
Uh-oh.
I've never whispered someone else's sentence before.
That's concerning! So, Darrin actually asked you to marry him, and you're telling me you said yes? No, I didn't.
I definitely didn't.
- What did you say, then? - I said, "sure.
" - "Sure"?! - Oh, my God, she said "sure"! Yeah, but not like a "yes, sure," like a casual, like, you know, like, "sure, sure.
" I didn't think he'd think I meant "sure!" How the hell could this happen?! Would you let her talk? I didn't know what to do.
I just felt bad 'cause he bought me a tiny house and I - He bought you a house?! - Stop yelling! Hey, you want me yelling.
Every minute I'm yelling is a minute I'm not killing her boyfriend.
Stop it we're not killing anyone, - not until we have all the facts.
- Facts.
Damn it.
Did it again.
Oh, that's new.
Apparently, in addition to whispering, I'm cursing now.
I am so sorry! I don't know how any of this happened! Well, you got to know.
You're not a little kid playing Barbies, Sue.
A man has asked you to marry him.
Do you understand the situation you're in here? Uh, maybe it would just be easier to get married.
Are you nuts?! Marriage is hard! We just make it look easy! I don't know! I don't know anything, okay? I am confused.
I just need to be alone.
Uh, I just need time to think, okay?! Could somebody please tighten my swaddle? What's the holdup? What's she need to be thinking about in there? I'm gonna go in there and tell her what she's thinking.
You can't do that, Mike.
You go in there and start badmouthing Darrin, you're just gonna drive her right into his beefy arms.
It's your fault, you know.
I been telling you all along we got to watch out for this dummy, but you kept saying, "no, don't worry.
It's just Darrin.
" "He's harmless.
" - Well - Oh, please.
Since when do you listen to anything I say? Don't act like I'm suddenly the boss around here.
Yeah, well, somebody took their eye off the ball.
Yeah, look, what does it matter who said what? Our teenage daughter has a ring on her finger And it's both our faults.
And you know why that is? 'Cause we suck.
We're lazy parents, and we suck.
Guys? I've been in my room thinking, and the truth is, I don't want to marry Darrin.
Oh, thank God! We don't suck.
Oh, my God.
We're good, Mike.
We're good, good parents.
I can't be engaged now.
I mean, I'm not ready for anything like that.
But it's, you know, it's really hard.
- Well, of course it's hard.
- Oh, it's not that hard.
And I do really love him.
- Of course you do.
- Of course you think you do.
I mean, mom, you should've seen him.
He got down on one knee, and he looked up at me, and he did the thing where his eyebrows go up when he's hopeful.
And then he said "will you marry me?" Aw.
And it was so cute, and he was so happy, and now I have to tell him I don't want to, and I don't even know how you say that.
I got a couple phrases I think will do the trick.
I think what your dad means is, you just need to be honest with him.
I know.
You're right.
You're totally right.
I know that's what I have to do.
I just have to go over there and try not to look at his eyebrows and just tell him my "yes, sure" was really more of a "no, sure.
" You want me to go with you? I'd be happy to go over there and personally make sure that he gets it.
Hell, we can go right now, or I can just go.
Aw, dad.
That is so sweet, but I am gonna be 18 in two weeks.
I am too old to have my daddy fix my problems.
I'm the one who said "sure.
" I'm the one who has to do it.
You mind if I sleep in here with you guys tonight? Oh, of course you can.
Are you hungry? You didn't eat much at dinner.
Kind of.
What do you want sweet or salty? Ooh.
Both.
That night, Sue slept in our bed for the first time since she was a little girl, but the next day, it was time for her to step up and be a woman.
Hey, there's my fiancée.
I'm glad you're here.
I'm just trying to figure out how to fit all my stuff in the house.
Of course, I'm gonna leave space for your stuff, too.
Yeah, about that Darrin, I wanted to talk to you about something.
Honestly, I couldn't have been more thrilled and flattered when you proposed to me.
Oh, I know.
I've never seen that look on your face before.
Oh, and I don't mean to step on the toes of the bride-to-be, but I booked a DJ and put a soft hold on the VFW hall.
Unless you want to consider the business center at the cozy suites.
What do you think? VFW's fine, but here's the thing Darrin, honestly, I couldn't have been more thrilled and flattered when you proposed to me, but I am still in high school.
I mean, I don't even graduate until June 5th Oh, don't worry.
The hold I put at the VFW hall is for the 6th a Saturday.
Or would you rather have it on the Sunday? Saturday works, but listen Darrin, honestly, I couldn't have been more thrilled and flattered when you proposed to me, but here's the thing Oh, boy.
Uh uh, Darrin, honestly, I couldn't have been more flattered and thrilled - when you proposed to me, but - What are you doing? S-sometimes I just like to talk with my back to people.
Sue.
I know you're a little stressed 'cause there's a million details, but you don't need to worry about this one.
For our honeymoon, I'm taking you to Weeki Wachee, Florida, to see the Mermaids.
I want to start our life together by giving you everything you've ever wanted.
So, what do you think, Sue? Florida for our honeymoon? Sure.
Night.
Brick? What's with the rubber band? Oh, Axl told me whenever I feel the urge to whoop to just snap the rubber band instead.
It was kind of annoying at first, but now I kind of like it.
So much, it's possible it's become a new tic.
Night.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Get in here.
How'd it go? How did he take it? Right.
Okay.
Here's the thing - You didn't do it.
- Sue! I'm sorry.
I-I tried.
It's just, he did the eyebrow thing again, a-and if you saw it, you'd know.
It's really hard.
No, no, no! No snugglebed for you.
- Oh, please! Please! Please! - We gave you snugglebed last time, and it led to nothing.
No! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! What the hell is going on?! Why is Darrin calling me asking me to be his best man? 'Cause apparently your sister's getting married.
And you two guys are just sitting here letting this happen? Why aren't you stopping this?! My God, I have to do everything around here.
I have to fix the sink, I have to fix the Brick, now I got to fix the Sue? You are not getting married, all right?! You've got too many dorky dreams to fulfill! I know, Axl! I don't want to get married! See? I've been saying this the whole time this Darrin thing was a trainwreck, but you guys are all like, "oh, he's harmless.
"Be supportive of your sister.
Stop making vomit noises when you see them together.
" Okay, who's really to blame here? You're the one that brought Darrin home for a play date when you were 4.
I didn't even like him back then, but you said, "you better find something to like 'cause I like Mrs.
McGrew.
" Oh, my God.
Her name is gonna be "Sue Sue McGrew.
" Nice parenting.
Classic.
Tension's a trigger.
It's getting worse, Axl.
Just keep snapping, Brick.
I'm juggling a million balls here.
Look, I will handle this, okay? It's just that Darrin is not making it easy.
There are a lot of dynamics at play here, Axl, that you are not aware of, dynamics that involve soft holds on hotels and eyebrows and Mermaids He's not making it easy? That's it I'm gonna go kill him.
Hey, I'm the dad.
If anyone gets to kill him, it's me.
Oh, no.
You had your chance, and you blew it.
Oh, no, I didn't take my chance yet.
I still No, no, listen.
Nobody's killing anybody.
Yeah, well, you should've taken your chance.
You had the hey, hey, stop it! Stop it! Nobody is doing anything.
In less than two weeks, I am going to be 18.
That is old enough to get my ears pierced without a signed note from my parents.
I can do this.
Please promise me you will let me handle this.
Thank you.
Whoa-ho-ho, hold it, sister! You'll snuggle when the deed is done.
Okay.
Hello, sir.
May I come in? It's your funeral.
Good one.
I love your humor.
I had something I wanted to talk to you about.
Mr.
Heck, I know I might've done things a little out of order, but I wanted that element of surprise.
I hope you can understand that.
But I'm a sucker for tradition, so here goes.
Sir, I love your daughter more than anything in the whole world, so I would be honored if you were to give me her hand in marriage.
No.
Okay, I get it you're giving me a hard time, making me sweat.
I guess I expected that.
- But listen, dad, I know - Listen who?! Too early for the "dad" thing.
Got it.
Uh, uh, the point is, Sue and I are super-psyched about our future together Actually, Darrin, about that the thing is, Sue isn't Mike? Do you want cheese on your burger? I always leave that decision up to you because you're the one eating the burger, so it's not really my place to tell you how your burger should be, - you know, espec - I get it.
- Cheese.
- Okay.
You know what, Darrin? You don't need my blessing.
You only need Sue's.
She already said yes.
Well, you might want to check on that.
Oh! Oh, hey, Darrin.
Hey, Sue.
Can I talk to you for a second? "Sure"?! Not my fault.
It it's dad's fault.
You after dad talked to him, he thought maybe I didn't want to marry him.
You don't.
I know! And I had a whole plan of how I was gonna tell him, but then he showed up and it threw me 'cause he was all sad.
- And he did the eyebr - Don't you say "eyebrows," Sue.
I swear I'll go over there and shave them off! I just didn't know what to say.
You say no.
I set it up for you perfectly.
Then you come back with another "sure"? It was hard, okay? It was in front of the trash.
Our first kiss was in front of the trash.
He even wrote me a song about it.
Well, the next song he's gonna be writing is "Who's that Giant Guy at my Door?" 'Cause I'm gonna No! No.
Dad, please.
Promise I can do this.
Okay, you're getting pretty hard to believe, Sue.
You're the girl who cried, "sure.
" Get.
It.
Done! It's just so frustrating.
It's been three days, and nothing's worked.
How messed up am I that my brother who's taking an "Introduction to Psychology" class can't fix me? Brick, three days is nothing.
Some of your more famous psychological breakthroughs took up to a week.
Now, what we've been doing so far are simple band-aid fixes, but clearly, we need to go deeper much deeper.
The question is, are you willing to do the work? - I am.
- Cool.
- And remember, this is a safe space.
- Mm.
Now, why are you such a freak, what made you a freak, and what's the first freakish thing you ever did? There she is, my future daughter-in-law! Sue, meet my sister and your new auntie, Rhonda.
You're gorgeous absolutely gorgeous.
I'm sorry I was just looking for Darrin.
Oh, you just missed him, but you've got perfect timing.
I was just dropping something by.
This! Oh, wow.
That is just Wow.
Now, I don't want to presume anything, and I completely get it if you want to pick out a new dress with your mom, but every McGrew sister has worn this dress.
I've worn it three times.
Ooh, try it on.
No, no, no.
I just had gym last period, - so, I'm sweaty.
- Oh, come on, it'll be fun.
- Probably gonna get your dress all dirty.
- No, no, no, no.
- I'm all sweaty.
- Oh, it'll be fine.
Now, Darrin says you picked out the VFW for your reception.
Well, everything isn't completely nailed down.
Oh, it's a great space.
Have you seen it? I think I went to a birthday party there once.
I think they had a pac-man machine.
That's really tight.
Oh! Oh, what is That? Oh Oh, Sue, it looks beautiful.
You're gonna be the prettiest bride in Orson.
And then come the babies! Oh! Mom, dad, get in here! I cured Brick! What's going on? I give you a de-freaked Brick Heck.
It wasn't easy.
I had to hit the books pretty hard.
I'm not gonna lie I took Brick to some pretty dark places and he had to face some demons, but in the end, it all came down To this.
The chair? Not just any chair, the rickety, rusty lawn chair you forced Brick to sit in for years.
While we've all sat like kings in our matching broyhill chairs, Brick has been forced to sit in a lawn chair you pulled out of the backyard.
Hence, he's never felt like a part of the family.
He's been trapped in a nylon cage.
Really? So, you're saying that all your tics come down to a chair? I know it sounds crazy, but the weird thing is, I've been sitting here in an inside chair all day and I haven't whooped or whispered once.
Maybe it's the height I just feel Empowered.
Included.
It's kind of life-changing.
So, in summary, you people screwed Brick up, I fixed him, you're welcome, my work here is done.
Oh, crap.
- The hell? - Oh, my God.
Tell me you're not married, Sue.
- I can explain.
- Say the words, Sue! I need to hear the words.
I didn't get married.
I went over to Darrin's, and then his mom and her sister.
Oh, and then then then they're like "have babies"! It's been three days, Sue.
How could you not tell him? Well I'm little, and want my daddy to fix my problems.
That's it.
No, Mike.
I'll go.
You're too angry.
Actually, I'm the perfect amount of angry.
Trust me, this is better coming from a woman.
- Don't we tried a woman.
She's 0 for 3.
- Get no, no, don't go.
Frankie, this is a dad's job, and I'm gonna do it.
- Gimme the keys.
- No, no, no.
You can't do it.
- Stop it.
Stop it.
- No, no, no! Don't take the keys don't try to fight me on this.
No, listen, I'm telling you, you're making a big mistake.
Stop it, please! I can't stand what this is doing to us.
As much as I would like for you guys to fix my problems, it has to be me.
Quitting, for me, is not an option.
I am going to take off the McGrew wedding dress and get this done.
Okay.
Can someone help me with the zipper? Hey, Sue.
Are you okay? My mom said you came by and then you ran off.
I was gonna call you, but she told me most people get emotional when they see themselves in a wedding dress for the first time.
Yeah, little bit.
Darrin, there's something I've been trying to say to you for the past few days, and I have been doing a terrible job of it.
That's okay, Sue.
I-I totally get it.
I've been trying to say something to this guy, Dan, at work.
He always whistles when we're on jobs together, and when people's air conditioners are broke, the last thing they want to hear is some guy whistling.
That's true.
That totally makes sense.
Darrin, I don't want to marry you.
You don't? I'm so sorry, but this whole engagement thing came totally out of the blue.
I-I didn't know we were heading this way.
Well, where did you think we were headed? I-I don't know prom? I-I-I'm not ready for marriage, Darrin.
I am only 17.
I just got my braces off.
There's a very good chance I might still be grounded! But you seemed so happy.
We chose the VFW hall, and we were gonna go see the Mermaids.
Oh, is that it? Do you not want to see the Mermaids? No, Darrin.
Obviously, Mermaids are awesome.
It's just, my life right now has all these questions where am I gonna live? What am I gonna do? And I don't know if I'm ready to have those questions answered yet.
I have all these dreams and things I want to do.
I've never seen California, I have never lived in my own apartment, I've never eaten a truffle.
I mean, I've had the chocolate ones, but I think there's another kind.
I want to travel.
I want to learn to paint.
I want to cry when my parents drop me off at college.
I want to live in a dorm with a really weird roommate and meet another girl who lives on my floor that I love and move in with her the next semester.
There's just this whole list of things, and getting married is not on that list.
I love you, Darrin.
I really do.
And you might be the person that I'm supposed to be with forever, but I don't want my forever to start right now.
But that doesn't mean that it's never gonna happen.
We can still date.
You can come visit me at college, and I can come home as much as I can.
I don't want to date you, Sue.
I don't have any questions about my life.
I've got a good job and a house, and I'm ready for a wife.
I don't want to wake up when I'm 24 and not have kids.
I want to get married.
But do we have to do it right now? I love you, Sue, and I'm ready to start a life together, but if you're not Uh This is just really sad.
Goodbye, Sue Heck.
Look at the world as it's turning Look at the light as it shines down on me Every star softly burning Look at the light as it shines down on me All right, here it comes.