The O.C. (2003) s01e10 Episode Script

The Perfect Couple

- Previously on The O.
C.
: - You and Marissa want different things.
- You don't know what she wants! - I know what she doesn't want.
I wanna live with Dad.
At least for now.
Then train me in the ways of women.
- Why are you helping him with Summer? - Seth doesn't see me that way.
And you're gonna let that slide? Is this all part of the plan? This is a policy-changing, career-making piece of litigation.
- My wife's company is the plaintiff.
- Her father's company.
- You're gonna take this.
- It's who you married.
If your marriage can't survive this, what kind of marriage is it? I wanna make it work.
No matter what.
- Ticklish.
- Sorry.
- What time do you have? - Almost 11.
What time do you have to be back at your dad's? - Soon.
- How soon? Now.
You can't call? Say you'll be late? I'm already late.
It's a school night.
It's too bad you don't still live next door.
Yeah.
But then I'd have to talk to my mom.
You haven't talked to her? No.
She keeps trying to call me, but there's no way I'm Hey.
Sorry.
Maybe this weekend, we could spend a whole night together.
You know, we could go out, do something.
Finally have our first official date.
No school.
No parents.
Just us.
Saturday night.
Cool.
Hey, Ryan.
Sandy's stuck at the Oh, my God! I'm so sorry.
Hey, Kirsten.
Hey, Marissa.
I didn't know that you had company.
Yeah.
Well, I was just gonna go.
So see you.
- Later.
- Good night.
Drive safely.
It's never happened with Seth.
- You walked in on them? - Well, at least I knocked.
Ryan and Marissa Cooper.
I knew it.
Didn't I tell you? - No.
- No? Sandy, maybe you should talk to him.
- About what? - You know.
Sex.
- Sounds like he knows what he's doing.
- I mean, sex in the house.
- We obviously don't believe in that.
- We don't? Based on my recent experience, or lack thereof, I'd have to say no.
Hey, I'm not the one coming home from the office at midnight.
You come home at 11:45.
I might be coming home earlier if your firm wasn't suing my company.
Well, look, maybe we'll get lucky and settle at the conference tomorrow.
Maybe we'll get lucky tonight.
I'd settle for that.
What time? - How about 8? - Eight? - Nine? - Nine-thirty? - Lf you're not home by 10:00 - Yeah? I'm gonna start without you.
Morning! Hi.
- We're all very proud.
- Thanks.
And sorry.
I just wanted to say sorry about last night.
- Sorry about what? What did I miss? - You should talk to him.
I appreciate you guys being so cool about everything.
- Cool about what? - I'll see you tonight.
We should get going too.
Not till somebody tells me what happened.
Mom, would you please fill me in? Mom! I get it, I'm just here for comic relief.
So, what exactly did my mom catch you guys doing? - Nothing.
- Nothing, huh? - So you guys haven't? - Haven't even had our first date.
- Last night doesn't count? - No.
We're going out Saturday night.
Good.
Great.
But you have before, right? Okay.
That's what I thought.
I didn't want to jump to conclusions.
My experience is sort of limited.
- And? - And what? Was it awesome? Which time? There were? How many times were there? - Same girl or different girls? - There were different girls? How many different girls were there? I have to sit down.
- So, what happened? I want details.
- Nothing happened.
- What's his problem? - There is no problem.
- I just don't know if I'm ready yet.
- But Luke took care of that painful part.
Yeah, and look how well that turned out.
Look, Ryan and I, we're still getting to know each other.
- We're going on our first date Saturday.
- That should be romantic.
Sorry, Coop.
It's just, what does Chino know about a date? Where he's from, they don't even have a P.
F.
Chang's.
When you lost your virginity, I was playing Magic: The Gathering.
- You still play Magic.
- Yeah, but not as much.
- Hey.
What are you guys talking about? - Nothing.
Ryan was telling me about your big date.
He's got a whole thing happening.
Wow, there's a whole thing happening? Yeah, but it's a surprise.
It's gonna be the best date ever.
I have to go.
- Summer, I'll walk you to bio.
- I can walk myself.
Great, then you can walk me too.
Best date ever, huh? The ecological risk assessment backs up our claim that the land Caleb Nichol plans to develop should be considered as wetlands.
- Oh, great.
Great.
We'll get into that tomorrow.
What do you got tonight? A hot date? Yeah.
Sandy Cohen, you are cheating on me, with your wife.
I'm trying.
- What is it, your anniversary? - No.
We haven't seen each other in a while, so we thought we'd Go on a date.
Why not? Good idea.
It's not like we have our settlement conference tomorrow where the fate of Orange County's environment hangs in the balance.
All right.
The date will even be better after the conference.
Less stress.
Dad, good news I'm sorry, I didn't know you - Julie.
- Kirsten.
Your father and I were just talking about you.
This man just single-handedly saved the children's hospital benefit.
- I did no such thing.
- He's so modest.
I'd just lost the Buckley yacht, when he agreed to let me use his.
The man just gives and gives.
I didn't know that you were organizing the children's hospital benefit.
I wasn't going to, but it's time I stopped dwelling on my own problems and got back to focusing on the needs of others, right? So must be off.
Cal.
I owe you bigtime.
- Bye, Kirsten.
- Bye, Julie.
- She is something, isn't she? - She is that.
You know, you are now the official sponsor of the Julie Cooper Comeback Tour.
It's for charity.
After all the bad press your husband's been getting us it can't hurt to be involved in a good cause.
So, what was your good news? We can have that working dinner after all.
- Sandy cancelled your date? - They have some last-minute prep work.
- By "they" you mean Sandy and - Rachel, yes.
She's attractive? And he got in at midnight last night? - I trust him.
- You know what they say.
The only man a girl should trust is her father.
They're working together.
That's all.
I suggest we do the same.
See you later.
Why don't you just take her to dinner and a movie? It's a classic combination.
Because somebody promised her the best date ever.
I went ahead and did a little recon on your behalf.
I was extremely stealth.
I spoke to Summer, okay? And I asked her what Marissa would wanna do on a date, what she'd really enjoy.
- She told me she didn't know.
- How helpful.
But Summer's three favorite activities are shopping, tanning and waxing.
Maybe there's something there.
Use that.
And here I thought Summer was superficial.
I have no car, no money.
Whatever I do is just gonna disappoint her.
- What do you usually do on dates? - Never actually been on one.
Wait, you just told me that Yeah, I've hung out with girls, but just never really went out.
- Oh, got it.
- I'm gonna go to class.
- I'll keep working on it.
- You've done enough.
Bye.
Come on.
What do you think Summer's three favorite movies are? Battleship Potemkin, The Seventh Seal and Shoah.
- Definitely.
- What? Can we not talk about Summer? We talk about her all the time.
No, we don't.
We don't.
We talk about all sorts of things.
Music, sailing.
Right.
About how you named your boat after her how you made her a CD of songs with the word "summer" in it.
Sorry.
I was under the impression that we were friends who, I don't know, talk about our thoughts.
We are.
So I guess you're finally hearing some of mine.
I'm gonna go back for dessert.
Hey, Dad.
I'm home.
- Hi, sweetie.
- What are you doing here? Your mother was in the neighborhood and wanted to see how we're doing.
- How are we doing, Mom? - Why don't you come here and talk to us.
Come on over and sit down.
I'm throwing a party.
I'm hosting the children's hospital benefit this Saturday.
They're trying to build a new wing for the children.
I'd love it if you could both be there.
Your father's already agreed.
No.
No way.
Marissa, honey this party is a chance for us to show the community that we still belong that we're still a family.
Yes, we've suffered some setbacks, your father's business in particular.
But it's important to let everybody know the Cooper family is back.
Why do you care what other people think? Look, Marissa, no one has fewer nice things to say about your mother than me.
No offense.
But she's been pouring her heart out to me and I think you're gonna wanna hear what she has to say.
Marissa, I am so sorry for the way I handled things at the hospital.
I was scared.
And I was wrong.
Everything I cared about was falling apart and I was blaming everybody but myself.
I just want us to feel like a family again.
I know it's gonna take some time, and I'm gonna need your help.
Will you help me? Wow, knocking.
It's open! Bad news.
I know you had Saturday night all planned, but something's come up.
Oh, that sucks.
We're gonna be spending a romantic night on a yacht for this charity event hosted by my mom.
Your mom hates me.
No, she doesn't hate you.
She just doesn't know you.
Now she'll have her chance.
We had a date Saturday night.
There was a whole thing happening.
I know.
But my mom came by today and apologized to me and my dad and it seems like she's changed.
Hey, if my parents got back together, and my dad found a job then my life could go back to normal again.
Maybe I should stay away for a little while.
First-date stuff: Candy, flowers.
It's easy.
- Candy, flowers.
Right.
- But it's times like these when a girl needs her boyfriend the most.
Boyfriend? Well, I mean, aren't we? L I guess.
I've just never been a boyfriend before.
- But you've had girlfriends? - Yeah.
No, not girlfriends, just girls that, you know Your mom.
Saturday night.
Can't wait.
Great.
The fact is, yes, I admit it.
I occasionally talk about Summer.
Maybe I even talk about her too much, but that's not really the point, is it? Hi.
So get this.
Anna thinks all I ever do is talk about Summer.
I mean, that's crazy, right? You want me to lie? I'm that guy? Dude, how can I be that guy? I hate that guy.
No wonder Summer doesn't have any interest in me because apparently all I do is I talk about Summer.
Although you'd think she'd like that.
- You're doing it again.
- Right.
I'm sorry I had to cancel our date last night.
- What time did you get home? - Almost 2.
- What was the last-minute crisis? - You know I'm not at liberty to say.
Is Rachel's boyfriend as understanding as I am? Rachel doesn't have a boyfriend.
Go figure.
Some people who don't like their life make work their life.
Well, that's not me.
And I'll tell you this, if our settlement conference goes well today I could be home by 6.
Is that a bribe, counselor? Hey! - Did you have the talk? - No.
I like to lead by example.
You and Julie Cooper trapped on a boat? Can't wait to see how that one goes.
I don't really have a choice, since she's my girlfriend.
What? Girlfriend? I thought that you didn't do girlfriends.
Well, you did them, but you, you know I don't, and this is not a good way to start.
At least you'll be there.
I won't.
Who'd I bring? I can't take Summer.
Or I could Do you think she'd go? I don't know.
I'm doing it again! Yeah! You know who you could ask? I could take a friend.
Interesting.
Okay, I'm never gonna mention Summer's name to you again.
Except for that.
From now on, we'll only discuss things we both have in common.
Like how do you feel about Newport charity events? - I hate them.
- Me too.
So, what do you say you come with me to one and we'll just quietly mock people? - Is Summer gonna be there? - I don't know.
Who cares? If anything happens between me and Summer, you won't hear about it.
I promise.
On our friendship.
Okay.
The U.
S.
Fish and Wildlife Services' ecological risk assessment asserts that the land adjacent to the wetlands should be considered wetlands as well.
Well, why stop there, counselor? Why not include the land adjacent to the land adjacent to the wetlands? Mr.
Nichol, I'm sure your attorney has explained that soon the state will acquire the land by eminent domain.
It took the state five years to purchase the Balboa Wetlands.
Let's cut to the chase, shall we? How much is the Land Trust offering me for Balboa Heights? Mr.
Cohen.
I was beginning to wonder about your involvement in all of this.
Thank you all for coming.
This meeting is adjourned.
- Where are you going? - Well, I mean, that's it? That's your whole dog-and-pony show? I'm disappointed.
What have you two been doing? Kiki tells me that you've been in the office alone together every night till 2 in the morning.
- Feel free to counter, Mr.
Nichol.
- Why is she doing all the talking? Are you just here to ensure that your firm makes the early edition again? "Father and son-in-law fight for the Heights.
" Cal, I've dealt with a lot of shady characters in my work but I've never seen anyone stoop as low as you.
You'll poison anything, air, water, even your daughter's marriage as long as you profit.
- You've been living off my profits.
If you think I'm bought and paid for just wait till I get you on the stand.
Don't let my silence here mislead you.
I'm taking you down.
Counselor.
I think I hit a nerve.
- I forgot I had this dress.
- Happens to me all the time.
My mom bought it for me.
It seems appropriate.
I think your mom would understand if you didn't want to do this.
Except I do.
Right.
That's what I meant.
Marissa, this event is important and on a yacht and whenever I go to these things, somebody gets into a fight.
You're gonna be fine.
Ryan, hi.
Oh, it's so nice to see you in your room again.
- You can sleep here tonight, if you want.
- It's okay.
But thanks.
Just thought I'd ask.
Oh, I love this dress.
Remember when we bought it, we had lunch in Beverly Hills? - We saw Catherine Zeta-Jones.
- Yeah, I remember.
So much fun.
Well, we should get to the ship and help out.
Will you check on Kaitlin? Okay, sure.
So I know that you and I haven't always seen eye to eye but I want to say that I'm sorry.
You've been there for Marissa.
You care about her, I see that now.
And I'm hoping that this party will be a chance for us to start fresh.
A celebration of a new beginning.
I don't really like boats.
Please? Okay.
Thank you.
Hey.
Well, let's get to the boat, huh? Come on.
I can't believe the lit mag won't publish my limericks.
That's censorship.
It's censorship! - I'll organize a protest immediately.
- Fine, something involving a bra-burning.
Cohen! - Hey.
What are you still doing here? - Detention.
You live a hard life, Summer.
A Paul Frank sale is more important than the fall of the Ming Dynasty.
What am I supposed to learn? That opium is gnarly? Right.
Because there is no lesson there.
Are you making fun of me? I can't tell.
Most of the time, Summer, you do my job for me.
Again, not tracking.
So, Cohen, I was wondering if you could catch me up in history tomorrow.
I can't until Sunday.
I have a charity thing tomorrow.
- The thing for the children's hospital? - Yeah.
- You're going to that? - We both are.
- You and her? - Me and Anna.
Which is my name, by the way.
I'm going too.
Hey.
Well, then I'll see you there.
In fact, I'm going with him.
Chip! - Hey.
- All right.
She's going with him? I don't care.
- There's pot roast in the - I ate.
- With Rachel? - What was that today? - I'm sorry.
He just - lf you have a problem, come to me.
You're never here.
Who am I gonna talk to if I don't talk to my dad? Seth? We're adults with demanding jobs.
You don't go running off to your daddy.
If that's too hard, go give Jimmy a call.
So nice talking to you.
Don't ever get married.
So how's everything going with your relationship? Which I need to talk to you about.
Good, I guess.
Good.
- It's just hard.
- Really? Seventeen years later, it doesn't get any easier.
It's her mom, really.
In-laws.
If you figure it out, let me know.
- Good luck.
- Thank you.
Thanks.
Good evening.
I'll call you.
- Hey.
- Hi.
Just got to get my good pair of shoes.
I know this isn't exactly the date you had planned but I really appreciate it.
You couldn't have done better with my mom yesterday.
She's like a different person.
Who knows? Maybe if everything goes well tonight, then I'm really happy.
Which never used to be an accomplishment.
- And not just about my parents.
- We're gonna be late.
- Yo.
- What up, homes? - Chilling.
- All right.
- What's that smell? - Perfume.
It smells like wood chips.
In a rose garden, roses.
So this is your crib.
This is where all the magic happens? If by "magic" you're referring to the card game, then sadly, yes.
You have a hot tub.
Ever use it? Hot tub's for the ho's.
I usually hang in the grotto.
- Hey, guys.
- Hi.
- I'm just gonna run to the girls' room.
- I gotta go too.
Right.
Because girls can't be alone.
What? It's Anna.
I could've said "pop a squat" in front of her if I wanted to.
Sometimes you talk just to make sounds.
Sometimes I do.
So Anna looks good.
Tonight should be fun.
There's gonna be a raffle.
The only thing more fun than a raffle is anything, really.
- You guys ready? - The girls are peeing.
- Seth, don't say "pee.
" - Where's Sandy? Don't ask.
- Question.
- Hey.
Early-bird special.
I'm gonna soldier on.
Trying to get out of here at a decent hour.
Right.
Not all of us have cocktail parties to go to on yachts.
Right.
So Caleb won't sell.
No surprise there.
On to plan B.
- What's plan B? - I'm working on it.
Come to the floor, Sandy.
Everything makes more sense on the floor.
We've got pad thai on the floor.
- We got work to do.
- Which is why we must refuel.
You got any dumplings? I'm powerless before dumplings.
Go with gravity, man.
Thank you so much for coming.
Thank you.
Nice to see you.
- Hi, you're here! - Hey, Mom.
- How are you doing? - Good.
- Hi.
- Hi, Kaitlin.
Hi, Ryan.
Kaitlin doesn't trust new people, but Ryan is very trustworthy.
Marissa, Reverend Donahue wants to say hello.
Okay, Daddy.
- Can I get a photo of the Cooper family? - Totally, yes.
- Come on, let's do it.
Jules? - Yes, of course.
Riviera Magazine.
It's very exciting.
Ryan, why don't you join us? No.
It's for your family.
Say "cheese!" I didn't say "cheese.
" - Hey, Kiki.
- Hey, Dad.
Where's the Sandman? - Those earrings are hypnotizing me.
- They're making me seasick.
There he is, built like a pipe cleaner but looking sharp.
Same to you.
I don't know what that means.
- Who's this little firecracker? - It's my date.
My friend Anna.
- Clearly, she needs no introduction.
- Nice to meet you.
Seth said you were scary, but I see an inner sweetness.
- I like your moxie.
- Suddenly we're in a film noir.
The ocean is, like, so vast.
Like, endless.
- I feel so - Insignificant? Go figure.
You know, I'm thirsty.
- Do you want to go to the bar? - Yeah, you can.
Thanks.
You must have met Seth before.
Excuse me.
Hi, Ryan.
- Good party.
- Thank you.
And thanks for not telling Marissa.
She's excited about you maybe getting back together with her dad.
You may be okay with lying to Marissa, but not me.
This is my life.
My daughter.
My girlfriend.
Ryan, stay out of this.
It's none of your business.
Hey, how goes it with Chip? He's surprised that the ocean is big.
Smoke another beer, Chip.
Wow, someone's in a good mood.
What is Seth Cohen doing with Tinker Bell? She's from Pittsburgh.
That's like the 909 of the East.
- Anna's cool.
- She's a little scammer.
First thing she does is go after Caleb Nichol's grandson! Have you seen the way she looks at him? - No, but clearly you have.
- Only because it's, like, totally obvious.
Yes, it is, that you're jealous.
- You like Seth Cohen.
- No! - You like him.
Like him.
Love him.
- Stop it! Stop! I do not like Seth Cohen.
I can't like Seth Cohen.
He's, like, Seth Cohen.
Well, it's too bad, because he likes you.
Hey.
My parents are totally getting along.
If my dad finds a job soon, I can be your neighbor again.
- I could sneak over whenever.
- Parents are weird.
I wouldn't count on anything.
Right.
You wouldn't.
What's that mean? If you don't understand how important this is I get it.
I get it, okay? Too well.
My mom, my dad Just because that happened to you, doesn't mean it'll happen to me.
- My parents may get back together.
- No.
They won't.
Why can't you just be happy for me? - Your mom is seeing Caleb Nichol.
- What? What are you talking about? I saw them together in front of your house.
I'm sorry.
At this point, we go to the state for Proposition 50 funds and hope they've got a spare $200 million in the budget.
Wait.
I have the budget here somewhere.
It's with the Fish and Wildlife stuff.
No, you put it with the Land Trust documents.
Feels like Twister.
When I was in college, that game got me in a lot of trouble.
I can imagine.
However, you and I are in enough trouble as it is.
Yeah.
Was it me, or did your father-in-law basically accuse us of having an affair? - Yeah.
- Yeah.
Where'd he get that idea, right? I mean, we work together, and we eat all our meals together.
We talk on the phone when we can't actually be together.
I got a boat to catch.
Oh, goodness.
Look at that piece right there.
Get a northeasterly breeze, that toupee's gonna go overboard.
Good thing his wife has surgically enhanced flotation devices.
- Then she can jump in after it.
- Yeah, and they're also fun to look at.
Do me a favor and go tell that kid puberty started.
I don't think the pencil-thin mustache is gonna make a comeback.
Hey, dude, embrace the razor.
Sounds like you're speaking from experience.
Maybe when I was 13, my nickname used to be Magnum, P.
I.
- Really? - Yeah.
Mothers can be so cruel.
God, there are not people like this in Pittsburgh.
- You must hate Newport.
- I did.
At first.
But now it's growing on me.
Are you thirsty at all? I'm feeling a little parched.
I think I'm gonna get a couple of Mountain Dews to take the edge off.
- Sure.
- Okay.
I'll be right back.
Wow.
Check it out.
It's, like, totally dark but totally visual.
Yeah.
Not understanding a word you're saying.
Finish 'shrooming.
I'm gonna go get a drink.
Excuse me.
I hate to interrupt.
Just a moment of your time.
I'm Julie Cooper, the coordinator of this event.
Thank you all for coming.
Through your generous contributions, we've raised almost $200,000 for the children's hospital.
And don't forget, it's tax-deductible.
- Can we talk? - Yeah.
Okay.
I have to say that we could not have done any of this without Caleb Nichol.
- Let's get out of here.
I should leave and let her get away with this? Let's give him a big hand.
Is that what you would do? Hi.
Oh, God! No.
What's happening here? I like Seth Cohen.
You? You what now? Nothing.
I wasn't talking to you.
But if you tell anyone what you heard here, I'll kill you.
There's my beautiful daughter, Marissa.
Please join us.
Come join us, honey.
Thank you.
Now my daughter Kaitlin will pick the winner of the romantic getaway raffle.
Marissa, would you like to announce the lucky couple? Thanks.
And how about another round of applause for my mom? And for Caleb Nichol.
After all their work on behalf of the children's hospital if anybody deserves a romantic getaway for two it's my mom and Caleb Nichol.
I mean, aren't they just the perfect couple? They've been keeping their romance a secret but tonight, the secret's out.
Congratulations, you guys.
Honey, take this.
- Don't start with me.
- After tonight, I'm done with you.
- You're Caleb's problem now.
- Jimmy One more, please.
Excuse me.
And the winner of tonight's raffle is Sandy and Kirsten Cohen.
- What the hell was that? - You lied to me.
- You said you wanted us to be a family.
- I do.
I was going to tell you, but this is all so new.
I know you've been through so much.
Marissa, honey this whole party was to show you that our life could be like it was.
You could move back home.
We could be a family again.
And what about dad? Honey, I will always love your father.
But because of what he's done, we have no future together.
Neither do we.
Wait.
Okay.
What? Julie Cooper and my grandfather? If that worked out, then Marissa would be my aunt.
I can't believe you missed all the excitement.
Where have you been? I find raffles to be extremely upsetting.
There's too much suspense.
I don't go.
I trusted you.
I told you things about my life and my marriage.
And you used them against me.
And you tell me nothing about you.
If this is the way you're gonna react do you blame me? No.
In fact, outside the office from now on we have nothing to say to each other.
Oh, and good luck with your new girlfriend.
You're gonna need it.
- I'm here.
- We're leaving.
But I wore a jacket.
I think this party's over.
Want me to take you back to your dad's? I think I'm ready for our first date.
I think we're way past that now.
So in theory, Julie Cooper could become your stepmother? Don't even say it.
- I'm late to one event, I miss everything.
- Not everything.
We won the raffle.
A romantic getaway for two.
- Lf you can get away from the office.
- Yeah.
It'll be good for us.
- Spend a little time alone.
- Glad to hear it.
So, what are you doing now? You.
Glad to hear it.
This is a pretty good date.
- I just wish it didn't have to end.
- It doesn't.
Spend the night.
We don't have to do anything.
We could sleep.
Really? Sandy and Kirsten are cool with that? Well, I haven't had the talk yet, so Do you snore? No.
Well, I don't think so.
I've never actually slept with someone before.
Me neither.
I'm usually climbing out the window or back into the front seat.
- Okay, enough sharing.
- Yeah.
Good night.
I thought you said you wanted to sleep.
Suddenly not so tired.
Best date ever.

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