The O.C. (2003) s01e24 Episode Script

- Previously on The O.
C.
: - What about that date? - You're breaking up with me? - It never could work.
- Cal, when you wanna date, let me know.
- It was an accident.
You accidentally slept with Marissa's mom or accidentally told Marissa? - I just - Get out of here, Luke.
- I don't wanna see him again.
- What about your dad? Kaitlin? What am I supposed to do without you? You are not leaving this house.
Or what? You're gonna call the police or Dr.
Milano? You know what? Go ahead.
In fact, why don't you call up Dad and Caleb? I'd really love to tell them why I ran away.
You okay? Yeah, it's just really sad.
It's just the movie, right? That's the reason for the tears? Yes.
I'm emotionally stable.
Besides, I'm not the only one crying.
I'm sorry, what? I'm allergic, okay? And there's so much pollen in here right now.
It's ridiculous.
- Tomorrow we're watching football, okay? - Football season is five months away.
ESPN Classics, okay? We'll watch old games.
Maybe next time we should see a comedy.
What? No, no.
I can see sad movies.
Yeah.
No, I know you can.
I can't, Ryan, I'm sensitive.
- Okay, so, what now? - Whatever Coop wants to do.
- Yeah, what do you wanna to do? - I don't know.
It's getting late.
- So you wanna go back? - Why don't we have a slumber party.
- I'll stay over.
- We all will.
We'll sleep in shifts.
- That way, one of us'll be up at all times.
- Doing what? Hey, whatever you need us to do.
- Look, okay? Guys, I'm fine.
- Yeah, yeah.
We know.
Why wouldn't you be? I don't know, because the guy I lost my virginity to had sex with my mom.
- Oh, yeah, I remember that.
- Look, guys, it's really not that big a deal.
- Why don't we go to Jamba Juice? - That's a great idea.
I love juice.
- Remember that thing with vitamin C? - The boosts.
Free boosts.
Sit down.
- Thanks for meeting me.
- Well, it's not like I had any choice.
All your phone calls and e-mails.
I had to block you from my Buddy List you were so incessant.
- Blocked me? I thought you were off-line.
You want something? - The Razzmatazz is - Luke I told you, I'm not staying.
So tell me, what is it that's so important? If you drink it too fast, you can get a brain freeze.
- So sip it slowly.
- That's good advice.
Okay, guys, I can drink a cold beverage.
I'm telling you, I'm really so not okay.
I guess we'll skip the Razzmatazz.
Hey.
Sorry.
I'm surprised that hasn't happened before.
I'm not saying I'm disappointed it hasn't happened before.
- I'm saying the mathematical probability - Crying during chick flicks.
- Walking in on me getting dressed.
- What's your point? I'm not seeing what you're getting at.
- Do you work out? - Not really.
Me neither.
I'm gonna go watch some hockey.
- Hockey season's over.
- Damn it.
- Where you going? - To find Luke.
Beat the crap out of him.
- Where'll the can of whup-ass be opened? - I'll go to his house, check the pier.
Have you considered our back yard? - What's up, guys? - Why don't you tell me? - Calm down.
I didn't come to fight.
- You told me it was over.
It is.
Believe me.
I just I had to talk to her.
Next time you wanna talk to somebody, talk to Seth, me.
Anyone but her.
No one will talk to me.
Sleeping with your ex-girlfriend's mom kind of yields that result.
- I thought you were my friends.
- You got no friends.
I know.
- But I need your help.
- I'm not gonna help you.
- I'm leaving.
- Thanks for stopping by.
No, I mean, I'm leaving town.
Now that the divorce is final, my dad just wants to get out, so - We got family in Portland.
- You're going with him? Don't tell anybody.
But that's what I was trying to tell Julie.
And that's what I wanna tell Marissa.
But I wanna tell her myself.
- Look, I don't know, Luke.
- Come on.
Please, please.
Five minutes.
It's not that much to ask, to say goodbye.
Then I'm gone.
Please.
- You okay? - Yeah, just checking the paper for any impending natural disasters before tomorrow's grand opening.
- You're not nervous, are you? - No, why be nervous? If our pre-celebration tonight goes badly there'll be no time to fix it before tomorrow night.
I like to anticipate the worst at all times.
It's a Cohen family trait.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
- Yes! - What is that? - We're business partners.
- We needed our own secret handshake.
- Secret handshake? - It's a guy thing.
- You couldn't possibly understand.
- Is this okay? Or is it putting the "ho" in hostess? Hailey, it looks great.
But it's not my restaurant.
Jimmy? Yeah.
Yeah.
No, I mean we should ask Sandy because - I don't have shoes.
It'll serve to distract the customers, which is good, since they won't be drinking.
The Liquor Board is reneging on our liquor license.
- They can't.
They gave us a permit.
- Must be a mix-up.
I'll call the inspector.
See, that's why we Cohens are always right.
Because the worst always happens.
Come on, Hail.
I'll go get your shoes.
So you like the dress? It's definitely a keeper.
So you'd sit in my section? How do you even make waitress-speak sound so? Dirty? I was gonna say "untoward," but, yeah.
Hail, it's your feet, not mine.
Can you believe this? Okay, Coop.
So what's it gonna be, a little salt glow? Little Tahitian body wrap? Or maybe a lotion boot? Okay, not really into exfoliating right now.
Besides, I promised Ryan I'd meet him for lunch at the pier.
Lunch at the pier.
Corn dogs and pizza.
You know, I read an article in Stuff.
It says carbs send endorphins to your brain and that makes you happy.
Oh, that's probably Ryan.
I gotta go grab it.
Where'd you leave your phone? Your dad's room? No, my room.
You have a room? Wait.
Hello? Yeah, Coop.
Like what you've done with the place.
Yeah, I guess I didn't really get around to unpacking.
How can you live like this? Your T-shirts touch your sweaters.
I figured that if I didn't hang anything up then it wouldn't be so permanent.
Anyway, I gotta go meet Ryan.
So do you wanna come or? You know what? Do you mind if I hang out here and watch TV? The step-monster got her wisdom teeth pulled.
She's whacked out on Percocet leaving drool all over the house.
- Okay, sure.
Go ahead.
I'll see you later.
- I can't believe they're seeing each other.
- They're not.
- That's not what it looked like last night.
- Last night wasn't what it looked like.
I talked to Luke.
What? You guys are still hanging out? No, he showed up.
He wants to talk to you.
Apologize.
No.
There's no way I could forgive him.
- Maybe for Holly.
But not for this.
- I know but it would mean a lot to him.
What's important to him is really not so important to me.
That's a whole part of my life I'd just rather keep separate from this part of my life.
You know what we haven't done in a while? Listen, I'm all for getting it on in exotic locales.
But I think your best friend's bedroom's just really disheveled.
Wow.
I like what she's done with the place.
The cardboard boxes, it feels very I'm getting like a garage-sale vibe.
Yes, I know.
See, they say your external life influences your internal life.
- Who says that? - I read it in ELLE Decor.
- Your favorite magazine.
- You read? No wonder she's so depressed.
We need to surprise her and fix it up.
Do you think giving her a little feng shui will help her forget her mom slept with her ex-boyfriend? - It can't hurt.
Right.
Well, that's very sweet.
But if you put a mirror on that wall, it'd open up the energy flow in this room.
- I know where you're going with this.
- The hardware store.
The hardware store? With, like, the bolts and the grouting and the Skil saws? You don't like hardware stores and you cry during chick flicks.
Next thing you're gonna tell me, you walk in on Ryan changing.
Come on.
That's crazy.
Hey, let's go to the hardware store.
Peter Johnson, from the Liquor Board.
Am I right? You came here about a month ago and granted us a liquor license.
Craziest thing.
I open my mail, and I read that our liquor license had been reneged.
Yes.
- Yeah, crazy? - Yes, your license has been reneged.
Without a liquor license, this place can't turn a profit.
This is Newport Beach.
Everyone's a borderline alcoholic.
I'm sorry, but your temporary license was issued before your file landed in front of the newly appointed commissioner.
- So? - The name Steve Peiser mean anything? No.
Well, it might to Jimmy Cooper.
Turns out Mr.
Cooper was Commissioner Peiser's financial advisor before he stole a quarter of a million dollars from him.
You're kidding me.
It was that financial loss that forced my boss out of retirement and back to work.
He saw Cooper's name on the file and said "no way.
" Want my advice? Have Mr.
Cooper step down.
So, what do you wanna do for lunch? I can do mac and cheese or mac and cheese.
Tough choice.
- I forgot how fun this was.
- Pretty fun.
You know, lunch could wait.
We are having a pretty big dinner.
- Not your dad, is it? - No, he has a key.
- Mr.
Nichol.
- Call me Caleb.
I'm not disturbing you, am I? No.
Yeah, come in.
- Ryan.
- Mr.
Nichol.
Would you mind if Marissa and I had a word, privately? - Sure.
- Actually, Ryan and I don't have secrets.
It's important.
Well, then I definitely want him here.
What follows doesn't leave this room then, okay? Sit down.
Marissa, your mother's a wonderful woman.
She is? You're important to her.
You and I haven't spent a lot of time together but it was important to me to come and get your blessing.
I'm gonna ask her to marry me.
- You wanna marry my mom? - I love her very much.
- You don't know her.
- You should give Marissa some time.
- This is kind of a big deal.
- Impossible.
I intend to propose to her tonight at the restaurant with our friends and family in attendance.
Well, then I guess I can't stop you.
I'll see you both tonight.
Thanks for your time, dear.
And again, this is just between us.
I want it to be a surprise.
If my mom marries him, she's gonna be the most powerful woman in Newport.
Not if you tell Caleb the truth.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Did you talk to her? - I tried.
- And? - I don't think it's gonna happen, man.
- What do you mean? - She's dealing with a lot of stuff now.
- Family stuff.
- She won't even see me for 30 seconds? Her dad's restaurant's having its private opening tonight.
She's busy.
- I'm leaving town.
- She doesn't know.
- That's because she won't talk to me.
- Why don't you just write her a letter? Write her a letter? - I had your back with Oliver.
- You had sex with her mom.
I didn't just have sex with her, okay?! I'm in love with her! - I was I am in love! - Don't need to hear it.
But Marissa does.
I have to talk to her.
I have to explain.
- Luke, I wouldn't.
- I can't go without making it right.
I won't.
Okay, the plan is, we go to dinner for, like, 10 minutes, right? Then we sneak out, come back here and make magic happen.
Excellent.
I'm extremely stealth.
I do believe Joel Gordon is still looking for me.
The fool.
Hey! Last year's yearbook.
- God, I love yearbooks.
- Listen, let's put it away because we've got a lot of work to do.
- Stop it! - Let's just put it back.
Hey, it's you.
- We had a sailing team? - Yeah.
It never got off the ground, but - You were in the Comic Book Club? - I was the president and only member.
Let's see.
- We had a Film Preservation Society? - Yeah, but it was a long time ago.
So you know, we don't have to It's not fun.
Was I really mean to you? No.
That would have required you to speak to me.
Or anyone to speak to me.
A lot's changed in a year, huh? Hey.
"Marissa, you're the greatest.
This summer will rock.
- Love you forever, Luke.
" - Yeah.
A lot's definitely changed.
Marissa's gonna need a whole lot of feng shui.
Hey.
You look beautiful.
Thank you.
You look sad.
I thought this would be a moment to celebrate.
So did I.
You know that mix-up with the liquor license? - It's not such a mix-up.
- You're kidding.
It turns out the new commissioner is a former client of Jimmy's with a quarter-million dollar score to settle.
Without that license, there's no point opening.
I've been on the phone trying to call in favors.
I got nothing.
The guy is serious.
The only way he'll reconsider is if Jimmy steps down.
Leaves the business.
- You're not considering - No, of course not.
Well, there is one last option.
You're not gonna like it.
My dad can be very He can be very persuasive.
I may have to throw a few more of these back before you start bringing up Caleb.
Desperate times.
This is that.
Hey, man.
What's going on? - Where you been? - What? - What? - What's going on? - Nothing.
Not one thing, okay? - All right.
I'm gonna go pee, okay? So if anyone asks, that's where I am.
For a while.
Right.
- He's getting weirder.
- Didn't think that was possible.
Marissa.
Mom.
That's the warmest conversation I've had with her in weeks.
I'll have a word, see if I can't help.
I have been known to be quite persuasive.
So I've heard.
What's with Dad these days? He's all warm and mushy.
Don't know.
Maybe it's the new blood-thinning medication he's on.
What about you? How's your romantic life? Oh, you know me.
Not much.
Vince, thank you so much.
How excited is Jimmy? He's like a totally different person.
It's so great.
Let's hope tomorrow night goes as well as tonight.
- Pat.
Thanks for coming by.
- My pleasure.
Though I gotta say, Nana Cohen's meat loaf, trouncing Grandma Cooper's.
- She would expect no less.
- How'd it go today with the Liquor Board? - All sorted out? - Working on it.
Working on it.
Enjoy it, Jimmy.
Moments like this don't happen every day.
I know.
It's fantastic.
- Hey.
- How you doing? I'm just happy you're here, so I don't have to do this alone.
You know me.
Can't get enough of this stuff.
Excuse me, everyone.
I have something I'd like to say.
I hope you're all enjoying yourselves tonight as much as I am.
Though my enjoyment of life over the last few months goes beyond this restaurant to a very special lady, Julie Cooper.
What's he doing here? Julie did a fantastic job on the d Ácor, didn't she? Hey, come on, let's go.
And - It's here on this opening night - Nobody'll talk to me or even look at me.
- Had a little bit to drink? - I'd like to show her how special she is.
I gotta tell Marissa it wasn't just sex.
I love her mom.
Okay, I don't think that's a good idea.
Julie Cooper will you marry me? Oh, my God! Yes, of course I will, Cal.
Kiki! Luke.
Hey.
Luke.
Hey! - Look, Luke - Don't make me! Just give me your keys.
Let me drive you home.
What home? I can't believe he just showed up here.
- I need your car.
I need to go after him.
- No.
It's like you're saying he did nothing wrong.
I'm not taking his side.
I'm not taking any side.
You know what? Maybe you should.
He should have time alone to think about what he did.
- Feel bad about it.
- He does feel bad - That's why he's leaving.
- What are you talking about? His dad's moving to Portland.
He's moving with him.
Because of what happened.
Can I have your keys? He's had a lot to drink.
- That's cool.
I didn't want any, anyway.
- My dad is marrying Julie Cooper.
Julie Cooper is my stepmom.
- Maybe we'll get you another bottle.
- Drink up.
This is an unholy alliance, two storm fronts colliding.
It's the apocalypse for us.
- Maybe you wanna lay off the sauce.
- Think of it.
All the time we were growing up and you'd come over for dinner you'd go sailing with my dad, did you ever think he would marry your ex-wife? - Yeah, give me a glass.
- Never.
Jimbo, the way I see it, this might be the best thing that could happen to you.
There is nothing good about it.
This marriage is an asteroid that hit the Earth.
Now we have to see what species survives.
I did it.
Look.
Wow, you hit a nail! Bob Vila's your bitch, Cohen.
What?! Why?! - This is not supposed to happen.
- You have to find the stud.
- You mean like you did, Summer? - Just get me the stud finder.
Oh, Summer, I think you are the stud finder.
- See this hammer in my hand? - What does the stud finder look like? - And the level.
- What is a level? - Don't you know what a level is? - What you advance to in a video game.
That's funny.
Yeah.
The tool doesn't know about tools.
My people, we don't really build.
We're not what you would call "handy.
" We hire people to do it.
Why don't we just get a contractor? Or I can paint.
And here I thought you could only paint the ceiling.
Marissa, hey, listen, l No, no.
It's me, man.
- I'm fine, man.
- You don't sound fine.
Well, you know, I'm just having a few beers up at the park rocking out to Seger.
You know the drill.
Not really.
Hey, do me a favor, Ryan.
Tell Marissa I get it.
Okay? I don 't deserve her forgiveness.
I'm I'm scum.
I'm All I ever did was let her down.
Tell her that.
No, just tell me where you are, all right? You can't leave without saying goodbye, right? Right.
Goodbye.
Damn it! I'm not here.
Leave a message.
Julie.
I'm I'm leaving tomorrow.
I need to see you.
I'm coming I'm coming to see you.
You owe me a goodbye! Without a liquor license, we'll be belly-up in no time.
- Really? Cal, I had no idea.
- There's no point in opening the place.
That's why I was hoping I could ask you to do me a favor.
- What? - Wait, did you not hear me? I just wanted to hear you say it again.
If it was up to me, I'd rather take the hit than talk with you.
But it's Jimmy.
- The Lighthouse is all he's got.
- Lf you drop him, they'd issue the license.
But you're too much of a martyr.
Listen, Sanford never mix business with friendship.
- You're right.
From now on, I'm doing all my deals with you.
When you came to me about Uncle Shaun, I said yes.
You owe me.
I don't wanna owe you.
I wanna hold it over your head.
Need water.
Tried to lie down, got the spins.
Well, I better get back to my bride-to-be.
Oh, yeah.
Definitely might vomit.
Luke, call us when you get this.
Ryan.
When I saw him at the party last night I wished for something like this to happen.
It's not your fault.
- How is he? - Well, he's out of surgery.
He's pretty much out of commission right now, but the worst is behind him.
I should call my parents.
You guys he's gonna be asleep for a while.
You should go home.
- Maybe we should, so we could finish.
- Or we could sleep.
You know, I'm really glad that Luke's gonna be okay.
We'll come back.
Actually, I'm gonna stay.
You know, just in case.
Okay.
Then I'll stay too.
I heard he'd been drinking which makes one less inspired to go after our liquor license.
- Can I get you something to eat? - No, no, I'm good.
Don't worry about going to city hall.
I'll deal with them.
You hold down the fort.
That's not necessary.
You hang at the Lighthouse.
Man the ship.
Are we gonna refer to the restaurant as a ship or a fort? Well, right now it's a sinking ship.
Okay, not the most inspiring metaphor on our opening night.
Why don't you sit down? I can't.
I gotta go see what the holdup is with the liquor license.
You're the holdup, Jimmy.
Does the name Steve Peiser mean anything to you? When he went back to work, after his financial advisor lost his life savings he got a job as commissioner of the Liquor Board.
This restaurant was supposed to be a chance for me to escape from my past.
I guess there is no escaping, huh? Well, we do have one possible Houdini-esque escape left.
Caleb.
I asked him for help.
- You hate asking him for help.
- This was no exception.
I had no choice.
You did.
You could've told me the truth and asked me to bow out.
Like I said, I had no choice.
Satellite Pharmacy to room 607.
Satellite Pharmacy, room 607.
Hey, guys.
He's up.
You should go home.
And thanks for waiting, all right? Wait.
Will you tell him that I'm here and I'd like to see him? I'll start auditioning bands right away.
I need to start soliciting recommendations for the videographer and the photographer, the engravers.
You know, I should ask Diane Kahn.
She's been married, like, at least a half a dozen times.
Why aren't you more excited? Oh, Julie, it was a rough night.
Hey, where are you going? Why aren't you asleep? Because Summer's a slave driver.
Is Ryan back from the hospital yet? - Hospital? - Oh, didn't you hear? Luke wrapped his truck around a telephone pole last night.
- He did? - Just a few blocks from here.
He was drinking.
So unlike him.
Well, I guess he just never really recovered from everything with his father.
You know, the humiliation, his family being torn apart.
Yeah, that must be it.
Pour me a bloody mary, will you, James? Since it'll be the last drink we serve.
- What? That's it? - Hook, line and sinker.
No license.
No opening.
No restaurant.
- No comeback.
- That's the best you could do? - As big a badass as you are? - Didn't have an effect on this Peiser fella.
You know how to piss people off.
You could teach me a thing or two.
- You seem awfully glib.
- Everything happens for a reason.
Could you at least feign a little sensitivity at our misfortune? You know what they say: One man's misfortune is another man's fortune.
- Who says that? - I do.
- I've never seen him smile.
- I didn't know he had teeth.
Make yourselves a couple of drinks, fellas.
We should talk.
Cheers.
Are you okay? I'm so sorry.
I didn't mean for this to happen.
Any of it.
I just I didn't have anyone.
I had no one.
Not my family.
I don't know, you know? But I'm gonna go away.
Give things a chance to go back to normal for you.
Because I know as long as I'm here, they won't.
But I need to know one thing before I go.
Can you forgive me? Yeah.
Yes.
Luke I'll miss you.
Who would've thought when you moved to town that I'd be the one who had to leave? I thought I was gonna live in Newport my whole life.
So you'll start a new life.
Yeah, maybe I'll show up in Portland and fall for the chick dating the captain of the football team.
And he can kick your ass.
Yeah.
Welcome to Portland, bitch.
Well, I'll e-mail you.
Maybe I'll drop back in say hey.
Good luck, man.
Want me to take you home? I hate her so much.
I mean, she tried to drive you out.
She almost destroyed my dad.
She nearly killed Luke.
I have to do something.
Okay.
So where we going? Marissa.
Hello.
Come in.
Is everything all right? Actually, no, it's not.
We need to talk about my mom.
I was just thinking the same thing.
Sit down, please.
I know things between you and your mom have been rocky this year.
- Can you both put the past behind you? - You have no idea what she's like or what she's done.
- I know.
I know.
Everything.
We should use this occasion as a chance to heal.
Make a fresh start.
Family is very important to me, Marissa.
I want us all to be a real family.
- Your sister deserves that, so do you.
- We already have a dad.
I'm well aware.
I'm not trying to replace him, push him out.
Quite the opposite, in fact.
As of today I'm the only chance your father has.
- What are you talking about? This morning I offered to buy the Balboa Lighthouse from both he and Sandy for several million dollars.
Considering the fact that the restaurant will never open, make a cent I'd say it was a pretty good deal.
However, if I were to change my mind decide it was a bad investment, lose my checkbook your father would be ruined.
Penniless.
Run out of town.
Which is where I come in.
You are very important to your mother.
She is very important to me.
- Be part of our family.
- Which means what, exactly? Well, you're already part of the wedding.
When your mom moves in you come and live with us too.
- You're joking, right? It would mean everything to her.
And if I do this, then you'll definitely buy the restaurant? This conversation would have to remain confidential.
You wouldn't want my mom to know you blackmailed me into living with her? So do we have a deal? Wonderful.
Now, was there something else that you wanted to ask me about? - You okay? - I'm a prisoner in my own life.
I'm great.
- Well, you did what you needed to do.
- Yeah.
- I guess I just need some sleep.
- Yeah, okay.
I'll call you I told you, no touching anything, ever.
- You're such a dandy, Cohen.
- You're a dandy, woman.
- Fine, take it.
- No.
I don't want it.
Oh, my God! Those are tears of joy, yes? I I don't even know what to say.
Summer did all the building.
And the heavy lifting.
And the wiring of the electronics.
But I painted.
I know you're a Paris fan.
It's amazing.
This is so cool.
We looked through your toys and couldn't find any plastic horses but we did find this.
Share Bear! Wow! Yeah, she'll watch over you with her Care Bear stare.
How do you know about the Care Bear stare? - I painted that.
- Yes, you did.
I did.
Thanks, you guys.
- I really needed this.
- Yeah, it was nothing.
For you.
You should see Cohen with a power saw.
How do you know about the Care Bear stare? - Dude, leave it alone.
- No, I'm just curious.
- Isn't he cute? - It's like It's kind of